


Winner

by BlueStarAngel



Series: Winner [1]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: A bit of weird fluff really, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Big Brother, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 201,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25036852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueStarAngel/pseuds/BlueStarAngel
Summary: The last place that Callum ever thought he’d find himself was on a reality show, broadcasting his every move to millions of people across the nation. Battling with the prospect of living twenty four hours a day with a group of fame hungry and competitive strangers, all Callum could hope for was to make it through the process unnoticed.However, one housemate seemed to have other ideas, and Callum was soon finding himself as the centre of someone’s attention…
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Winner [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2072526
Comments: 535
Kudos: 557





	1. Entrance

With tentative steps and fingers clenched to stop his hands trembling, Callum made his way along the red carpet that layered the shaky metal platform. The crowd littered the side, gawping up at him with judgemental faces. The harsh glow of the lights obstructed his view and the relentless flashing from the cameras made him feel disorientated. He remembered what his handler told him in the car. Just smile naturally and wave, that’s all you have to do right now. One step at a time; you just have to get to the stage for the interview.

Callum couldn’t believe he was finally here. He couldn’t believe he was here at all. It all seemed to happen so fast, a mere breath and his life was changing. Whitney had been watching tv one day, chatting away as she was scrolling through social media, when an advert appeared that made her drop her phone and rewind back the commercial. Big Brother was returning and they were asking for candidates to apply for the new series. Apparently, this news was worthy of a shriek that would rival an otter in heat.

As he screwed up his face at the idea and Whitney’s reaction, he wracked his mind over why anyone would want to do such an excruciating project. Callum couldn’t say he was a particular fan; he’d caught a few episodes here and there, enough to know the format and themes, but it had never really commanded his attention. Whitney was ecstatic though, having stated she’d seen almost every series on the first run, as her squeals of delight sent warning bells running through him.

The excitement was even more palpable when it was revealed that the prize for the winner would be a quarter of a million pounds. Whitney started off with a throwaway joke at first, mentioning how great that would be, listing all the items money of that magnitude could buy, and then suggesting what a laugh it would be if they entered. It became less of a joke when she printed out the requirements and kept sending him links to the application form.

Finally, one night she sat him down, a look of pure seriousness on her face. The only other time she had done that was when she thought she might be pregnant. And also that one time she had discovered he’d eaten one of her secret stash of Crunchie bars that she’d been saving. This time her words filled him with even more dread. Let’s apply, she had said. What harm could it do? Those were the same words usually spoken by people who were about to perform surgery on an under-anaesthetised bear. His girlfriend told him not to be so ridiculous. It was a long shot; a million to one chance. They probably wouldn’t even get an audition, let alone onto the show.

Callum didn’t want to take that risk. He didn’t have the kind of luck that would dodge those long odds. The thought of being on television in front of millions of people terrified him to the point he thought he would throw up over the sofa cushions, and that would be another reason for Whitney to be angry at him. He had another Crunchie to calm him down. He’d pay for that later, but the sickly sweet honeycomb with an edge of bitterness was what he needed. There was not a chance on earth he would ever willingly go on television. Not again.

When he was little, perhaps ten or eleven, the local news station came to his school. Their class were fundraising for Children in Need by seeing how many ‘Keepie Uppies’ they could do in six hours. Callum liked football, it was something he was good at, so his hand shot up straight away when they were looking for volunteers. It also had the added incentive of being for charity. He might not have had a lot of money, and truth be told he was the recipient of hand outs more than he was able to donate, but this was one way he could help.

They had all been briefed by their teacher that morning on what to say. Exactly what to say. At no point were they supposed to say anything that would bring their school into disrepute. Where Callum grew up, they could have all flashed the camera, stuck up two fingers and burnt an effigy of Pudsey the Bear, and it would have still been tame considering their school’s reputation.

When the time came for him to speak, Callum froze. The microphone was thrust in front of his mouth and the insipid interviewer was waiting expectantly, a frozen toothy grin etched on her face. It seemed like hours that they were standing there. He knew she had asked him a question, and his teacher was waving a large prompt card in the background but everything blurred up. His heart beat seemed to be the only sound he could hear as it rocketed at full speed through his body, and he felt a stinging burn in his cheeks. The interviewer gave up eventually, scowling a look at the headteacher who had clearly promised cute, willing and articulate pupils for their viewing audience.

However mortifying that experience was, surely this could only be at thousand times worse. This wasn’t a thirty second interview that hardly anyone would see, let alone pay attention to and remember. He wasn’t still a small child that could be forgiven for forgetting what to say while in the middle of a charity appeal. This was national television where the whole premise of the show was to judge, scrutinise and form scathing opinions. Every waking moment would be analysed, examined and magnified for the whole world to see. He would be ripped apart.

The pleading look on Whitney’s face convinced him to fill in the application though. She was so hopeful. She started to talk about everything they could do with the prize fund; buy the house of their dreams, put money away to start a family and save for the future. Their future. It was just easier to go to the website and fill in his details than even hint that he wasn’t sure he wanted any of those things.

It had been simple enough. It was almost like filling in a job application. The questions on the online form hadn’t been anything he wasn’t expecting; he just had to imagine that he wanted to spend his summer with complete strangers while twenty people were in a booth somewhere watching him pee.

Callum tried to be honest with the questions though, as much as he could. It was the video he had to provide which concerned him most. In the end, Whitney had just taken some shots of him cooking, working behind the bar and chatting with Mick while asking him questions. He could almost pretend that her camera wasn’t pointed at him. It just felt natural. He hoped that would put the show off recruiting him.

When the letter came through that his application had been successful and he was invited to the audition, it stilled him. He scanned the note at least fifty times in the hope that he had misread the wording. He wasn’t meant to get this far. There were a hundred thousand people that applied, and only five hundred that would be invited to audition. He didn’t understand why he was one of them. Whitney, though disappointed at her own rejection, told him it was because they were looking for natural people this year with the revamped version. Not just some fame hungry wannabees out to be in the limelight. He wished he had known that before he applied. He would have written that he was a ‘fame hungry wannabe out to be in the limelight’ on the form.

It was still an absurd idea though. Having an edited together video was one thing, but when they spoke to Callum in person, they would realise how inappropriate he was for this experience. He kept telling himself that over and over again as he got the train to the exhibition centre they were hosting the auditions at in the centre of town. Arriving bright and early one Saturday morning, he was convinced he wouldn’t make it through the first stage, and assured Whitney he would be back before lunch.

The first part of the process was actually quite fun and enjoyable. They put everyone into teams of ten, and they had a variety of tasks to achieve. It reminded him of being back in the army, of the training, the tests and the teamwork. It took him out of his head for an hour and he enjoyed strategizing, encouraging people and challenging himself. It felt familiar. It felt like something he was good at.

When he was told to come back in the afternoon, the invitation staggered him. Callum had to check with two different members of the production team that he had heard correctly. On his way out to get some lunch, he overheard one of the unsuccessful applicants say they were only keeping a total of fifty people from all four audition days for the final process. The one-on-one interview with the producer.

He was given a large stack of papers to complete over the break, which he took to a nearby café to fill in. They were so much more detailed than that first online form, and so much more intrusive. They had questions ranging from when he lost his virginity to what his phobias were. There were quizzes to fill out, with boxes to check, that asked how he would respond to a number of situations that seemed more than extreme. Why would they need to know what he would do in the event of a dinosaur attack? He was saturated with questions. He only lied on some of them.

He almost walked away at that point, when it was becoming far too real, but then he received a text from Whitney who was ecstatic that he had made it that far. Callum didn’t want to do this, but he didn’t want to disappoint her. And he didn’t want questions and an interrogation about why he didn’t want to do this. She just didn’t understood him sometimes, and it was frustrating. Surely a partner should know how you feel without even having to ask?

Returning back to the auditions, he handed back the stack of questionnaires and signed legal forms. They wouldn’t mean anything if it all ended here, but for the people that got through it was essentially signing your soul over. He remembered being convinced that wouldn’t happen though. He didn’t have what they would be looking for. He wasn’t someone that people would want to watch. He wasn’t really anyone at all.

During the final stage, he had to sit in a mock diary room chair, in a small enclosed room. There was no one else in there, just him and four walls. A slightly tinny voice of the producer started to speak to him over a speaker. “Relax, Callum,” it called out delicately. “We’re not filming this, it’s just us here. You can say anything you want in the Diary Room. You can let all your secrets out.”

All his secrets. There were a few he’d rather not share. But there was one he couldn’t. One he wouldn’t.

The voice was enticing to speak to; it didn’t feel like confessing. It didn’t really feel like there was anyone there at all. Callum sat back, and started to speak.

It was around two weeks later that the phone call came. He could have easily played it off as a hoax, his brother or a mate tricking him into believing he’d earned a place on the show. No one knew though. Not one person apart from Whitney knew that he had auditioned and got to the final stages. This was his last chance. His final opportunity to back out.

Callum couldn’t say no though, he couldn’t turn them down, as the call came when Whitney was sitting right there next to him on the sofa. Perhaps he could have played it off and pretended it was a rejection, but it was too late. None of this had been his decision and his choice. He was just following along and now it all felt inevitable.

Whitney couldn’t stop shrieking afterwards, already spending the prize money and planning out their whole lives in just a few sentences. That wouldn’t happen though. He wasn’t a winner. Callum would go in there, fade into the background and be evicted within the first few weeks, and forgotten before the show had even finished. There would be a few financial opportunities; interviews and appearances right after his eviction, but they would quickly disappear. However, they could probably provide enough for a deposit on a bigger flat. That was the plan, and Callum thought he might just be able to cope with it.

As he walked along the stage, he was beginning to regret everything. It had all just felt surreal the last few weeks. He knew it was happening, but the reality didn’t quite hit. There was no escaping it now, as hundreds of faces were looking up at him expectantly, braying him to impress them or suffer their wrath if he didn’t. Callum tried to smile at them, but he knew the terror must be etched over his face.

All he could hear was his name being shouted, and it sounded foreign to his ears. It was too personal for strangers to be calling, like they knew him. As if he belonged to them. That’s when it hit him. That’s when it really sunk in what he’d signed up for. He was just a playing piece for other people to control now. Sadly, that feeling wasn’t unfamiliar to him. It should be easy to just let other people hold the power over his choices.

Finally, after what seemed like a mile of loud flashes and hollers, he reached the stage. Before he went into the house, he had to do a quick interview. Let the public get to know you, the producer had told him. Callum didn’t understand why anyone needed to hear more from him if they were about to watch him on screen for twenty four hours a day. It was clearly designed for no reason or purpose apart from heightening the nerves of the contestant.

As soon as he approached the host, she stuck a microphone in his face. It was a warning, one he knew he should heed; be careful what you say, someone is always listening. It wouldn’t be one he followed, the microphones would soon fade into the distance, but they seemed ever present at that moment. She was smiley and charming, grinning at Callum with vigour, as if he should be whooping and screaming his head off.

“We saw in your video clip that you’ve got a fiancée,” she started, reminding Callum of the cringe worthy VT they played just before he got out of the car. He had heard his voice echo all around him. Thankfully, he had seen enough of the programme to know that the clips were the first opportunity for the producers to create your character; a villain, a bitch, a lush, a bigot or a heartthrob. They gave him none of those personas. He just came over as dull, a little boring and the lukewarm cheers he received when he exited the vehicle seemed to suggest the same. Callum was more than happy. That perception fit his plan perfectly.

“But there could be some beautiful women in our house!” the persistent host continued. “Do you think you might be tempted by anyone in there?”

Callum shook his head. Did they really expect anyone to admit to that? He knew that’s not why they were asking it. They just wanted the viewers to have that idea in their head. They’d be watching his every move around the women in there, in case any of them became more than friendly. He knew already that he’d disappoint them.

“Whitney’s the only girl for me,” he answered honestly, as half the crowd gave a coo of pleasure and the rest of them mumbled at the mundane response. They didn’t want to spend their summer watching someone mope over their partner on the outside.

There were a few more questions, which Callum seemed to be able to stutter an answer to without making a fool out of himself. Before he knew it, she was holding her arm out and signalling for him to climb the stairs to the house.

His feet felt like lead, dragging their way up each step, as he hoped beyond hope that he wouldn’t tumble his way down them. That would certainly make him noticed on social media, as it would be repeated and repeated till the end of time. It was the last opportunity to go back, to run down the stairs and into the waiting car. This was it.

In the end, Callum kept on going, reaching the top of the stairs as the doors slid open. He looked back and waved, catching sight of Whitney in the crowd jumping up and down. Stuart was standing next to her. She must have told him once Callum had gone into his mandated week of hiding with the production team. Stuart gave his brother a quick smile; one that was supposed to be reassuring. It didn’t seem to reach his eyes though. It was clear he thought this was a mistake.

Callum turned around, blocking the crowd out of view. Letting go of every single living and breathing human apart from the strangers that he would be forced to spend every waking and sleeping moment with for the foreseeable future.

The doors closed behind him with a startled whooshing and the sound of the crowd faded into the background, disappearing and sailing far away.

Letting out a final breath, he started to make his way downstairs, the only noise now being the thudding heartbeat echoing in his throat.

What on earth was he about to walk into?


	2. Launch Night

Callum took one step at a time, slowly making his way down the stairs. He gripped the banister tight within his shaking fingers. He didn’t care if it made him look nervous; the stairs were shiny and see through and if he fell down them it would hurt. He didn’t want to have the housemates that came after him to have to crawl over the tending paramedics to get into the house.

As he took each stair, looking down to check his footsteps were placed correct, he pricked his ears up to hear any sounds from the house. He expected a chorus of greetings at his entrance, or at least the mumblings of conversations that were already happening as bonds were being made. There was nothing though, just the ever fading cheers and jeers from outside the building. It wasn’t until Callum reached the final step and finally raised his head that he realised he was all alone.

It had crossed his mind, of course it had, when he was thinking about what would happen when he walked in the house. He knew there was a possibility that he could be the first one in, but they usually started with someone that was interesting, someone that they thought was going to make waves and capture headlines. That certainly wasn’t him. He was one of those people they threw in around the middle of the show, that people would forget by the time the next contestant rolled in. This was a brand new revamped version of an infamous television show, everyone was watching, and at the moment the only person they were watching was him.

Right now, out there on the huge panels that layered the outside wall, and in millions of homes, people’s eyes were glued to the screen waiting to see what he would do. There was no one else for him to talk to, shake hands with and make small talk about how strange this experience was and how interesting it was that there were strips of red and orange lights wavered through the whole house.

The thought made him glance around the space properly. It seemed so much smaller than it looked on the television, the ceilings low, and the walls enclosing in. He tried to work out what the theme was, there was always one. In truth, it looked like someone had done a supermarket sweep around Ikea. Everything was neutral in its colouring, apart from the futuristic lines of lights scattered around the place. There were wooden panels and soft inconspicuous furnishings. It was like a Scandinavian winter cottage, and certainly the ferocious air conditioning settings didn’t make it feel like a warmer month.

Callum thought maybe he should say something. He had been just standing there staring at the décor for a good half a minute. Hopefully, the director would have seen how awful he was at providing them with content, and they had gone to a break, or on to the next contestant’s video already. It would only be a few moments and then someone would come through the door. It would be easier then. He could start to disappear.

_“This is Big Brother, would Callum come to the Diary Room.”_

Huh. Well, that he wasn’t expecting. He half anticipated going in there and being told that he was providing the worst moment of tv anyone had seen all year and they had changed their mind about him being a housemate. Perhaps it was just routine to be called as soon as you entered, something that as an audience member he would never have seen before. Maybe they always called in the housemates as soon as they came in. There could be an issue with his microphone. The little pack he would have to carry with him wasn’t intrusive, and he was getting used to it already.

_“This is Big Brother, would Callum please come to the Diary Room immediately.”_

He realised he must have just been standing there, whirling around the reasons in his mind. He would look like such an idiot. That’s why they put him in first; he’d be the clown of the series, the one everyone mocked and laughed at. Now, he had twice been called to the Diary Room and was still rooted to the spot. How the hell was he supposed to know where it was located?

Callum looked around him, hoping there would be some large flashing arrow that pointed to a neon sign. He didn’t have that kind of luck, so he started to wander in the direction of the kitchen.

_“This is Big Brother. The door is to your left Callum.”_

Great, now the whole country was probably watching him stumbling around, amused by the fact that someone who couldn’t even find a door would have to do a range of enduring and complex tasks. They were now all thinking that he must have lied about being in the army.

_“That’s to your right, Callum. Left is the other way towards the stairs.”_

Perfect. He’d been in the house two minutes and Big Brother was now dropping formality and teasing him. It had helped him see the door though, hidden in the little space by the stairs, as the buzzer for the Diary room started flashing red and blue.

Callum opened the door, and went down the short corridor to the second door, which was much easier to find, thankfully. Pushing it open he entered the small room that was dominated by one piece of furniture. The Diary Room Chair.

The large blue chair was glittered with gold detail, and big enough to fit three people at a squeeze. He slowly slid into it, shuffling back to try and make himself comfortable. It was too strange though, not like when he had his audition. He knew he was being filmed.

_“Hello Callum.”_

“Hi Big Brother,” he replied, and there was a pause. Had he missed a question? “Are you alright?”

“ _Callum, you are the first housemate this year.”_

He knew that, they weren’t telling him anything he didn’t know. This wasn’t about the microphone. People were definitely watching this. There was now no doubt in his mind that he was live. Whatever was going to happen now, it wouldn’t be good.

 _“Being first has its challenges,”_ the voice continued. _“And on Big Brother that is no exception. Over the weekend, the house will be set its first weekly task giving you the opportunity to win a luxury shopping budget.”_

Callum waited for more. There had to be more.

_“The house will be told they have to complete a task in the time in order to win. However, that will not be the case. The house will only get the luxury budget if they fail the task.”_

There had to a be a catch there. Failing was too easy. He should know, he’d made a life out of it. “So we just have to muck up the task to win the budget?” he questioned, hoping he hadn’t misheard something. He’d had enough embarrassment for the evening.

_“Callum, the rest of the housemates will have no idea they have to fail the task in order to win the budget. They will believe they have to follow the task instructions to pass the task. It will be down to you, and you alone, to sabotage the task and ensure you win the luxury budget.”_

This wasn’t what he wanted at all. He wanted to fade into the background. He needed to just avoid any attention that he could. This would make him front and centre. There was no way out of this. He couldn’t refuse to take part; the rest of the house wouldn’t get their shopping budget. By agreeing to do it though, he’d have to lie to a group of people that he hadn’t even met. He didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to do anything that showed how good a liar he could be.

_“There’s one more thing, Callum. If you successfully sabotage the task without the majority of housemates guessing you were responsible, then you will win immunity from the first set of nominations. However, if you are identified as the culprit, then you will automatically face the public vote. Do you understand?”_

He nodded. There really wasn’t that much to be confused about. Apart from the fact they had chosen him. Apart from the fact he would have to spend the next few days trying to earn people’s trust while lying to their faces. Apart from the fact all eyes would be on him for the best part of the week. That he was confused about.

“Can I go now?” he asked, as if there were any hope of getting away from this nightmare, as if there were any chance of escaping from the disaster his life was about to become.

_“You are free to leave the Diary Room, Callum. Big Brother will get back to you in due course.”_

He got up out the chair, pushing carefully through the door and back out into the house. He was still alone, still the one being watched, and now had a heavy weight in his belly. This was all before he’d even met these strangers. How could it all go so wrong, so soon?

Callum went to sit on the side by the wall, his shaky legs carrying him to the first flat surface they could find. He leaned his arm against the lamp next to him, Big Brother’s words flying around his head. There were so many questions that weren’t yet answered, and he knew they’d be plaguing him throughout the night. What would the task be? How was he meant to lie to these people? What if he didn’t want immunity? Why was the lamp now moving?

Lifting his elbow quickly, he noticed that it wasn’t a lamp at all, but instead a small camera sitting happily on the side, in a great place to view the whole house. It didn’t look like a normal camera though. It looked like the little lamp that appeared at the beginning of ‘Toy Story’ or ‘Monsters Inc’. It was slowly buzzing around looking up at him. This would probably be a good time to move.

There were drinks sitting invitingly on the dining room table, but he couldn’t open them up without anyone else here. He was potentially going to lose them any decent food for a week; popping open the champagne and downing it by himself would probably be a slight misstep.

There was a stickiness to his throat though, as he felt the walls close together and the air tighten in the room. He needed to drink something. He found a glass and went over to the tap, which didn’t seem to have any way to get the water out of it. Great, he couldn’t find a door, and now millions of people were watching him stumped at how water comes out of a tap.

Callum wasn’t sure what he did, but he waved the glass around a little and the water started whooshing out. He quickly filled it up and drew the glass away, thankfully stopping the outpouring of water before he was in risk of flooding the whole house.

As he gulped down from the glass, the cool liquid soothing his throat, he heard the door start to open.

There were hurried footsteps as someone started to enthusiastically jog down the stairs. Callum could see their feet before he could see anything else. “’’Ello, ‘Ello, ‘Ello! What’s all this then?” the shoes said.

Callum inwardly groaned. He begged to whatever higher deity there was, that this wasn’t someone trying to establish a catchphrase already.

The feet continued to march towards him, closely followed by legs, a head and a body. It surprised Callum a little that it was a middle aged man, with greying hair. If he remembered correctly, during the last few seasons of the show, it was always young contestants bouncing in like they were entering a Club Med holiday. This fella looked like he was hurrying down his stairs so he didn’t miss the start of Pointless.

“Alright, mate,” the man said, holding out his hand to Callum, as he looked around the house. “Just the two of us is it? What a dream team, eh? First in and last out, let’s hope!”

Callum wanted to sound an alarm, grab this man’s shoulders and demand to know what he was playing at. It seemed like he had a checklist of sentences to say that would annoy the audience, and he was getting through them all in the first five minutes.

“Callum,” he said, offering his name and shaking the man’s hand in the hopes it would distract him from trying to get himself booted out at the first opportunity. “Good to meet you.”

“I’m Steve, mate,” he replied, and as Callum got closer he could see the perspiration on his lip and by his hairline. He was terrified. “Let’s get the drink cracked open, shall we?”

Callum hesitated a little. “Oh, I was gonna wait till everyone else got here,” he remarked, as Steve tried to wench a cork out with his teeth. “Check there was enough for everyone!”

Steve spat out little bits of cork that were caught between his teeth. “There’s plenty here, mate,” he replied. “Here, you’re not a barman are you? Bloody thing’s stuck in tight!”

“I am as it goes,” Callum said, with a chuckle. “You ain’t a detective are you?”

“On the force twenty years!” Steve replied, as he was now whacking the cork against the table, the newly painted surface chipping away. “Go on, you have a go.”

Callum gave a small smile as he took the wine bottle from the policeman’s hand, and picked up the provided corkscrew. He quickly liberated the bottle from its stopper, handing it back to the waiting man. “See that’s why you’re the professional!” he remarked, glugging out a large glass of red. “You want me to top you up?”

As Steve gestured to the empty water glass on the side, Callum shook his head. “Nah, wine goes straight to my head,” he replied, still determined to wait until everyone was in the house before he had a drink. “I’ll just grab a beer in a minute.”

Callum could imagine the crowd and the viewers at home watching them both now, commenting already on their dynamic. He really didn’t want to be a part of some weeks’ long bromance, so he hoped no one out there was seeing any connection so far.

Thankfully, he heard the doors slide open again as the crowd noise started to creep in louder. Callum peeked up the staircase to see some confident legs marching down. The face that joined them wasn’t that much older than he was, and this was clearly someone who was aimed at providing the audience with something attractive to look at. Not that he would notice that kind of thing.

“God, that was scary!” he said, raising one muscled arm to shake Steve’s hand. “I’m Kush, nice to meet you.”

“We’ve got the Three Musketeers now!” Steve remarked, vigorously shaking the new housemate’s hand. “Thick as thieves we’ll be, before the week’s out! Not exactly advisable in my job though!”

Kush gave a polite smile, before moving his hand over. “Kush, mate. Pleasure.”

“Callum,” he said, wishing he just had a name badge he could point to instead of keep having to say his name. At least he could remember all the people he met so far. All two of them. He just wanted more housemates to come in as quickly as possible so he could be forgotten. Until he had to betray them all, anyway. “Good to meet you.”

There was a silence then, as the three of them just smiled and nodded. He could almost hear the director pulling their hair out and the dark internet voices harping on about how this series was a let down already. “Drink?” Steve offered, thankfully breaking the eternal void, as he passed Kush a glass. “I don’t want to ‘wine’ on, but this bottle of red is a real corker.”

It was at that exact moment that Callum realised how long two months could be. Kush gave a gentle smile towards the man in thanks, and started to sip at his drink, as the silence built again. Just then, the volume increased as the crowd’s roars entered the building.

There was a clunking from the stairs as heavy set boots confidently strutted down the steps, no hesitation and no fear in where they were. Callum’s eyes followed up to see dark hair and a sneer as they gazed around the house. They weren’t impressed with what they were seeing so far.

Kush walked closer to the staircase to meet the young woman as she reached the bottom. She clucked disapprovingly as she grabbed his hand and pulled him down for a kiss on the cheek. “Dotty,” she said, still with an air of calm about her, as if she thought the show was just spinning around her existence.

Callum glanced at the Pixar camera, who was staring right at him, looking at him for some reaction to his housemates. He wasn’t quite sure why it was picking on him. Maybe it was angry that he used it to lean on. Maybe it was clear that there would be no one here that he could have a connection with. He liked people, he really did, but to spend all day every day with someone that would put up with him, well it didn’t seem likely at that point.

It was going to be him and Steve, just sitting around with each other every day. He was wondering how many weeks it would be before the older man ran out of wine puns. To hell with it, this was his life now, he might as well accept it. He lowered his head at the disconcerting realisation, as Pixar did the same. Grape minds think alike.

Dotty didn’t even come and introduce herself to him and Steve, she simply waltzed up to the table and started to open the bottle of champagne, taking a swig from the neck before she poured herself a glass, giving a cheer when the bubbles floated over the side.

“I hope things don’t get too ‘fizzical’ between us! I’m Steve, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Dotty,” the detective said, giving her a little tap on the arm when the only greeting she returned was an upturn of her lips and a raise of her glass. “We’re getting quite the team together, aren’t we?”

Callum suddenly noticed her eyes had clawed over to him, and she strode up holding out her hand like she was the queen. Did she want him to curtesy? Instead, he settled for awkwardly shaking it, before she leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek, the same as she had with Kush. Callum felt like he was being eyed up by a hyena. He was still cautious that the audience would be watching, looking out for any women that he would get too close to, so he stepped back a little.

He glanced over at the bottles of beer on the table. He looked strange now, the only one without a drink in his hand. He just couldn’t bring himself to go and drain the alcohol supply when he was just days away from making them go without food. Everyone at home would know that. Everyone at home would know he was being deceptive. And then they might wonder what else he was lying about.

The next few housemates seemed to arrive in a flurry now, and Callum felt comforted with the fact he could just continue to slip more into the background. He greeted them in a friendly manner and with a smile, hug or a handshake, made a little generic chit chat and listened to some details about their life which he forgot a few minutes later.

After Dotty, there were two more women who followed in quick succession. The first was a young doctor named Ash; she seemed a little quiet, but nice and pleasant to talk to, someone Callum could imagine having a few chats with.

The second young woman entered, dressed up to the nines, her long hair bobbing down behind her, as she was fanning herself frantically with her fingers. She by-passed them all, muttering something about fainting, before she dashed to the tap and stuck her head underneath it, waiting with her mouth open, whacking her hand against the side of the sink trying to find a handle.

Callum took sympathy on her. It wasn’t the best position to be stuck on for your launch night photo, and he quickly walked towards the kitchen, waving his hand near to tap until it turned on. The girl lapped at the water thirstily, as Callum grabbed a glass that was sitting right by her hand and shook it at her, letting the container fill up when she moved her head back.

“Thank you! That was so scary, I thought my lips were going to stick together, I was so nervous,” she said, taking the glass that was handed to her before gulping some more down. “Does my knight in shining armour have a name?”

Callum looked around, before realising she meant him. “I’m Callum,” he repeated for what felt like the millionth time that night. “Can I get you a drink?”

He hoped that didn’t sound like a line, like he was coming on to her. The audience must start to think all he was interested in was coming in here and getting with all the women. He would never cheat on Whitney with one of the girls of course, but the viewers might think that. Everyone would think of him as flirty with women though. Everyone would assume that he would if he could. That might be even better than his plan to fade into the background.

“I’m Habiba,” she replied, trying to shake hands while holding the glass of water with the same grip. “I’m fine with just this, thanks.”

With that she went to introduce herself to the others, and Callum was left again, feeling out of place. He knew he could make it look like he could fit int with the others, but he just didn’t feel like he had a place. He just didn’t.

It was the same when the seventh housemate entered. Again, it was a man around his age, enthusiastically bouncing down the stairs and immediately grabbing a drink and seemingly just merging and fusing into the group, laughing and joking as if he were the first person in here. Isaac had given his name when he briefly shook Callum’s hand, moving on before he could respond with his own. He didn’t have any problem fitting in. Callum was there on the outskirts, adding in a comment here or there, but they were barely acknowledged. Nothing anyone cared about hearing.

When the eighth housemate appeared, slouching down the stairs, raising his arms in the air as if he were about to receive a cheer, Callum looked at him, squinting in confusion. Why was he wearing earmuffs? No one else seemed to be saying anything, they were just greeting him with the claps and roars that he had requested. Callum switched his eyes to Pixar. The camera seemed to be fixated on the view as well, its lamp head cocked to the side inquisitively.

As Callum got closer to introduce himself, he could see they weren’t ear muffs, but headphones. That didn’t make it any less strange. They couldn’t be connected to anything, they weren’t allowed music in the house unless Big Brother played it in. If Callum had come in wearing a set of headphones that weren’t connected to anything, then he’s be picked out immediately, thought weird and called out on it. This man though didn’t seem to suffer in that way. His actions hadn’t seemed to have raised an eyebrow from the rest of his housemates.

The man, Vinney as he soon found out when again he had his hand shook without his eyes being met, seemed to be in a little triangle with Dotty and Isaac around him. Everyone was bonding already, after only a few moments. Callum was trying to keep smiling, keep looking like he was joining in, but already he was all alone.

“Ain’t it great to have time to just stop and smell the rosè!”

Well, maybe not totally alone, he thought, when he turned and gave a smile at Steve who was shuffling near him. The fact that the Pixar seemed to turn and frame them, seemed to seal his fate as part of television’s most mundane bromance of the summer. He could only hope they were so dull together that they just wouldn’t get any screen time.

“Yeah, listen Steve, I’m just gonna go get a drink,” he said, pointing towards the table. “Do you want one?”

The detective held up his full glass in response, which Callum knew he would. It was just another little guilt to add to his ever growing pile. Steve looked a little disappointed as he walked away from him, and Callum was kicking himself at his actions as he strolled over and grabbed a beer. He didn’t understand how it was possible to be in a place for just thirty minutes and already screw up so dramatically.

He was glad he was standing with his back to everyone else now, so they couldn’t see his face. Then it hit him again. The eight people behind him might not be able to see his expression, but the millions at home could. They could all notice him now, alone and separated from everyone else. Different from everyone else.

Quickly trying to place a natural smile on his face, he hoped the cameras were focused on the group as the laughter and cheers dominated and echoed through the room. There were only two more people to come in, his handler had let it slip there would be ten housemates in total even though the contestants weren’t supposed to know that. It seemed like two too many though, as it would just make that group seem larger, and him stand out more. He wanted to blend in, he knew he could do it, he just needed to make sure that nothing else got in the way.

“Have you blanked everyone coming in, or is it just me?”

Callum almost choked on his mouthful of beer, spluttering everywhere, as the voice rumbled closely into his ear. He swung around to find himself looking at a new face, smirking up at him.

The man just waited, looking at him with focused eyes like he was trying to unpick him with just his gaze. It was the most attention he had all evening and it flustered him. Callum hadn’t even heard the next housemate come in, he was so consumed by trying not to be noticed. Now, he had ignored a new arrival, and that was sure to be spotted. People were certain to find that unusual. Not in the least, the curious eyes boring into his own that very second.

Callum involuntarily licked his lips as he took in his new housemate. He was shorter than Callum, but he was using all his height to his advantage, standing tall and proud, hands firmly in his pockets. There was mischief on his face as the slow blink of his eyes seemed to sooth against their stare. He was trying to read Callum, he could tell. He was trying to find out about him just by looking.

Not that he minded. This new housemate could stare all he wanted, he wouldn’t see whatever he was looking for, he wouldn’t find out anything much at all. Callum had been doing this for too long. He knew how to hide. He knew how to deceive and how to present as something that he wasn’t. This man wouldn’t find whatever it was he was searching for.

“Ben,” he said finally, pulling a hand out of his pocket and holding it out to shake. Callum took the hand, realising a little too late that he must have drops of beer coating his fingers. That didn’t seem to bother the man in front of him though, as he gave it a strong shake, and then raised his eyebrows expectantly. “Are you keeping your name from me so I can’t nominate you, or you always this secretive?”

“Oh, Callum! Callum. That’s who I am. Callum,” he replied the words coming out of his mouth frenetically, while he just couldn’t seem to stop saying his name over and over again. He said it so simply at least a hundred times today, but now it just seemed more important. “Did you want to join the others?”

“Nah, I don’t go running to anyone who don’t intrigue me, and none of that lot interest me yet. I’ll have a beer though, if there’s one going,” he replied, leaning back slightly on the table, as Callum knocked the cap off on the edge of the surface. “Now, there’s a skill. I’ve only known you two minutes and I know you spit rather than swallow and you’re good with your hands. What else you hiding?”

Callum handed over the bottle with a slight nervous quirk of his lip. He wished Steve would wander over right about now. Though, then he’d just be surrounded by euphemisms and puns. He couldn’t’ quite get a reading on Ben. Not yet. But there were warning bells ringing somewhere. He just wasn’t sure why yet.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to squirm under Ben’s intense gaze for much longer, as the doors slid open and the crowd noise intensified again. Everyone’s attention was caught on the sound of stiletto heels clicking down the stairs. Callum allowed himself one look towards Ben, just one dart of his eyes that no one would be able to pick up on. It surprised him that he wanted to do it again. It didn’t surprise him that his mind was saying what a bad idea it was. It was warning him without wanting to spell out the reason.

“Oi! Oi!” a loud voice cried out from the staircase, and as Callum reframed his view back to the emerging contestant. He saw their legs coming down the steps, and as he carried on looking up, he saw they were finally attached to a short black leather skirt. As the housemate descended into the house, she widened her arms, stretching the tight, leopard-skin top that clung to her torso. “Let’s get this party started!”

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Ben knock back some of his beer with a roll of his eyes. “There’s always one,” he muttered. Callum wasn’t sure whether the comment was aimed at him or just the house in general. “Probably harmless though.”

The woman approached them both, jiggling her body a little, “Cor, look at you!” she remarked, pulling Callum down and planting a kiss on his cheek. “Plenty of you to go about, ain’t there!”

“Callum,” he mentioned quietly, as though the woman knowing his name might force her closer. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Kat, darlin’. I’m spoilt for choice in here, ain’t I?” she said, gripping his bicep and giving it a squeeze. Her eyes travelled across to Ben. “There a reason you got a face on you like a smacked arse?”

Ben just scowled at her, before taking a long drag of his beer. “Yeah, I’ve just realised I’m going to have to see your face in the morning without all that slap to cover up the cracks.”

Kat glared at him for a minute, lips pursed before she let out an almighty cackle and then elbowed Callum in the side. “Right charmer, ain’t he?” she responded before moving on to the rest of the group, which had started to migrate nearer to them.

“I wonder how many more of us there are to come,” Ash mused, sipping at her glass. “We’re at ten now, we’ve got to be near the end.”

“I think that’s it now,” Callum replied, taking a swig of his beer. He half wished he had something stronger to take the edge off the nerves, but knowing his lightweight reaction to alcohol, it was probably for the best. “They’ll only be ten of us.”

As he lowered his bottle, he noticed everyone looking at him. Shit. He wasn’t supposed to say that. It must have just been his handler who had let that slip accidentally, the rest must have kept it quiet. No one else was supposed to know. “I imagine anyway,” he corrected himself, and he could feel beads of sweat start to build at his forehead. “Ten’s a good round number, innit?”

That seemed to placate most of the housemates, and they continued their muffled noise of talking over each other and laughing a little too loudly. All except one. Ben had his head cocked slightly and was examining him with narrowed eyes. Callum could almost hear the cogs whirr around in his head, like he was trying to figure him out, trying to get him to confess all with just a look. It was unnerving, not uncomfortable, but the prickle to Callum’s skin wasn’t something he had felt before.

He was mentally kicking himself for almost giving away a secret though. That wasn’t like him, he could usually hide everything much better than that. He had been in the house for less than an hour and already it was cutting into him. Callum had heard it would do that when he went to the audition. Some people had said the house was like an X Ray machine; it would always find out what was going on inside.

With small gasps of shock, and a few impressive cheers, the lights in the house changed from hues of reds and oranges to soft neon greens and electric blues.

_“This is Big Brother. Congratulations housemates, your time in the house has begun. Help yourself to welcome drinks and get to know each other. But remember ‘Keep your eyes wide open and expect the unexpected’.”_

There were a brief few seconds, just a moment really, when everyone’s faces fell from their fixed smiles and their eyes darted around each other. The realisation that this was a competition wasn’t far from the surface. Quickly though, the housemates painted back on their friendly faces and started to saunter over to the lounge area.

In the far corner of the house, past the kitchen and dining area, was a cosy lounge area with three large grey sofas, filled with throw pillows and blankets. They were all facing towards a wall with a large television screen, surrounded my smaller panels that were all darkened. It seemed comfortable here, almost just like a normal house. Callum hoped he could just lie down on one of the couches for a few weeks and disappear into the background. Then he remembered his individual task.

Everyone sat down at the sofas, trying to perch comfortably. There was perhaps a little tension lifted in the room now that they weren’t being filmed. Well, obviously they were still being filmed, just not live on television. He needed to remember that and not let it disappear from his mind, like trying to hold on to the memory of a dream; there were always people watching.

Callum settled next to Habiba on the end of one of the sofas. She was still gulping down water like she had been without drink for three days. Steve came and sat the other side of him, giving him a thumbs up. Of course, he did.

“Why don’t we all go around and get to know each other?” Dotty said, looking more than relaxed on the sofa, with her legs folded underneath her body, sipping on her champagne. It must have been at least her third glass. “Let’s all say our names and one interesting fact about ourselves.”

Oh God. Anything but that. He might be able to bash out his name on the first go, if he was lucky, but as his brain scrolled through his life, it didn’t seem to be able to stop on anything that anyone would want to hear. Or that he’d let them hear.

“I’ll start. My name is Dotty, and I have eleven piercings on my body,” the young woman continued confidently, as he saw some of his housemates running a counting eye over her. Vinney, sitting next to her, was taking an especially close view. “They aren’t all in places you can see. Well, not that I’ll let you see yet anyway.”

None of the housemates looked curiously at him, so he assumed the groan of disgust he made was just in his head. There were clearly some people on the look out for a showmance. Not that Callum cared, it was their life and their choice, but he didn’t want to have to watch Vinney fumble around looking for Dotty’s holes for the next few weeks.

“Right, well my name’s Vinney, and I’m a DJ,” he said loudly, as if he wanted to make sure the microphones picked up on it. “When we get out, I’ll get yous all some VIP passes when I do my sets.”

Callum would bet all the prize money, his signed Bobby Moore football card his grandad left him, and all fifty three pence that was still rattling around in an old piggy bank he had when he was ten, that he would never see this man again in his life when they got out of here. He could imagine Whitney sitting at home, excited by the thought of going out clubbing and knowing the DJ. Maybe he could get her the tickets and then stay at home and watch the footie in a quiet flat. Kill two birds with one stone.

“My name’s Kush,” the man who entered the house third, started to say. He didn’t sound as confident as the previous two, and Callum immediately warmed to him. “I guess the most interesting fact about me is that I’ve got a son. He’s the most fascinating part of my life anyway.”

“I’ve got kids and all. My whole world, they are,” Kat interrupted, turning her body towards Kush, as her eyes grazed him up and down. “I’m Kat by the way. Just incase you need to know what name to scream out in the moment!”

“Having kids isn’t an interesting fact!” Dotty snarled towards them. “It’s just a fact! Can we actually try and learn something about each other now we’re stuck in a house? What about you?”

It took Callum a few moments before he realised she was directing her question towards him. Dotty clearly hadn’t troubled herself to learn his name yet. “Well, my name is Callum,” he started, giving a silent cheer at getting the first part out, before rubbing his hands on the side of his jeans to get some of the dampness away. “I’m not sure I’ve got that much interesting about me. I guess the fact I’m engaged, got a really lovely girl at home.”

“Kids and partners don’t count as interesting facts,” Dotty criticised, rolling her eyes at him. “Say something else.”

Callum wanted to mention that Kat and Kush didn’t have to give a second fact, and it didn’t seem fair that he was having to think of something else while all eyes were piercing through him. He thought about Vinney’s fact about his job. “Well I’m a bartender now, but I used to be in the army.”

There were a few muttered comments of interest at his statement, so thankfully he wouldn’t have to think of a third.

“Fair enough,” Dotty said, with a reluctant nod. For some reason, she seemed to have taken charge of the conversation, appointed herself leader and judge over what they should be revealing. “Ben, what about you?”

Ben was leaning back on his seat, one black boot perched up on the coffee table in front of the sofas. “Pass,” he said giving a smirk to the group, as he started to tap his other shoe on the ground.

“You can’t do that, Ben!” Dotty scowled out at him. “Don’t be a prick, just tell us your name and one thing about you.”

“Why do I have to give my name?” he protested. “You’ve just said it twice; you’d have to be an idiot not to know it by now.”

Habiba elbowed Callum and mouthed the words ‘what’s his name?’ as Dotty gave an exasperated huff at the rebellion. “Would you just say something!”

“Fine. My name’s Ben, and I like a man in uniform,” he said in an exaggerated tone.

Callum could feel himself pink up, and clawed his nails into his jeans to try and get the blood away from his face to anywhere else. Well, not anywhere else, there were worse places it could pool, but his face was definitely top two. That comment had to be aimed at him, and he didn’t like how it made his breath hitch in his chest. He didn’t want to feel like this, not anywhere, but especially not here. He didn’t like how Ben made him feel. He didn’t like the way he looked at him.

Luckily, no one’s attention turned to him, as Steve quickly started to introduce himself, not waiting to be asked. “’Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello, all! My name is Steve and I’m in the police.”

Ben sat up a little at the statement. “Right, can I make an amendment to my last comment, please?”

“Wait a second,” Isaac said, squinting towards Ben a little. “Does that mean you’re…well you know? Is anyone else…?”

“Does anyone else get turned on by khaki? Is that what you’re asking?” Habiba questioned, starting to raise her hand.

“No, sweetheart. He wants to know if any of the other fellas are gay,” Ben replied, looking intensely towards Isaac. “Raise your hand if you like cock!”

Ben held his hand up high, with a confidence and pride that Callum respected instantly. There was a flash of envy that coated that feeling too. All the other men seemed to have fingers loaded with lead, as their hand stayed firmly by their sides. The women joined in though, raising their hands with a laugh, though Ash looked like she wanted to add something to the conversation.

Habiba leaned closer to Callum again, whispering as though they weren’t wearing microphones that could pick up their every breath. “Does he mean cock, as in roosters? Because I got attacked by one when I was seven.”

Callum shook his head, and she raised her hand happily. “Well, that’s got that awkward conversation out the way then,” Kush said, filling the silence that had occurred.

“Right, so I’m Habiba, and when I was little I thought I was a seahorse,” the girl next to him started, before a loud comment interrupted her.

“Don’t you think it’s weird that there’s no twist?” Dotty pondered, trailing her eyes over them all. “It seems a bit dull to just chuck us in here on opening night, don’t you think?”

“They probably thought my sparkling personality was enough of a delight for any audience,” Ben replied, grinning.

“Perhaps someone’s on a secret task,” Ash mused, with a shrug.

Callum begged his cheeks to stay a normal human colour, and hoped Pixar wasn’t looking towards him, giving the game away.

Isaac let his head fall back in a laugh. “All right then, ‘fess up! Which one of you bastards is secretly screwing us all over at the moment?”

There was a defensive comment building in Callum. If he didn’t say anything then he would look guilty. They only had to spend a few seconds looking at him and they could figure it out. If he said something though, then they might dismiss him from their suspicions. He opened his mouth to speak.

Ben’s voice rang out before he got the chance. “Perhaps it’s a double bluff. We’re all expecting a twist in the first few days, so we’ll be more aware,” he concluded. “They’re probably waiting till later on in the week.”

Dotty looked towards Ben accusingly. “It’s interesting that you felt the need to say that,” she judged. “Almost like you want us not to suspect you. It just makes you seem guilty.”

Before anyone else could mention anything, Big Brother’s voice came out over the speaker.

_“This is Big Brother. The bedroom door is now open.”_

In a scene rivalling the stampede from ‘The Lion King’, everyone seemed to scurry and scramble towards the bedroom door. Callum just let them, it was no use trying to fight over a mattress, he would probably just let someone else have it if they wanted anyway.

Steve and Ben were also not rushing for the door, and the three of them walked silently together to see their fate. When he opened the door, Callum looked around the room, all covered in wooden surfaces, with a mural coating most of the wall, looking like a Scandinavian fairy tale forest. The beds were all a decent size, made up of a mixture of singles and doubles, with plump pillows and fluffy duvets covering each. As it was in the lounge, the air conditioning was set up high in the room, making it feel like a crisp December rather than the middle of summer.

The four ladies had already claimed their beds, choosing the two doubles closest the door to the room, and next to the small en-suite toilet. Habiba and Ash were already laying down on the bed, chatting happily. Kat and Dotty had taken the double opposite them, but didn’t seem so friendly. Vinney had predictably thrown himself on the single next to Dotty’s side of the bed. They were only a few hours in and already he was trying to make a name for himself; they both were.

Isaac had claimed the double bed next to Habiba and Ash, but his face was falling a little when Kush went to sit on the other side of it. He clearly hadn’t counted properly and thought he would get the whole double to himself. Kush was obviously selfless and didn’t want to claim the last single for himself. Either that or he was just trying to look good on tv.

That led to only Callum, Ben and Steve being left. The only beds that remained were a single, at the end of the room, and a double right opposite. Callum’s heart was thundering in his head at the thought of sharing a bed with Ben. He wouldn’t try and claim the single; he didn’t want questions asked over why he didn’t want to share a bed with a man.

The problem was solved for him when a hand slapped him on the back, and then an arm fell around his shoulders. “The dream team together then!” Steve said enthusiastically, dropping down and testing the bounce of the mattress. “Don’t worry, Callum! I don’t snore!”

If there was a tiny disappointment that fluttered into Callum’s body and mind, then he chose to ignore it. He waved it away and went to sit on the end of the double closest to the wall. His eyes couldn’t be held back any longer though, as he took a glance at Ben.

He was perched on the single bed opposite, staring right at him, right through him. It was like a wave rushing up and grabbing you, knocking you off your feet. Callum didn’t want it. He didn’t want him here. He wanted Ben out of his life.

That was his first nomination decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
> 
> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx
> 
> I spent along time planning this story, and I wanted to have all characters that weren't related on the show, then when I started writing I remembered Vinney and Ash are brother and sister on EE! So I've putting my foot down with my creative AU licence, and stating they aren't related in this.


	3. Week One (Part 1)

**Day Two**

Callum’s eyes popped open, the sudden exit from his dream startling and wholly. He was in that fuzzy place, where all you knew was your name and the fact you were wearing socks. Your brain needed to wind up into gear revealing small pieces of information to you at one at a time, like clues in the sleepiest crime. His whole body was nudging him and elbowing him into believing it was morning, but his bedroom didn’t have the usual glow of sunshine pouring through the slight gap in the curtains that it usually did when he opened his eyes. Instead, everything around him was dark, not exactly pitch black enough to think he’d snuffed it in his sleep and was now winging his way down to the gates of hell, but certainly harshly dimmed. It was that moment when he realised exactly where he was, and it wasn’t his bedroom.

He sat up gently, not wanting to disturb Steve who was snoring softly next to him. Mercifully, soft. It was lower in volume than the racket that had been expelling from the man the previous evening, anyway. As it turned out, Steve’s sinuses created a sound akin to a brachiosaurus humping a tree truck. Each exhale had rumbled through the room dominantly, excruciatingly and endlessly. At one point he thought he felt the bedframe shake beneath him, and he wondered if Big Brother’s insurance claims covered his death through man-made earthquakes.

When his eyes had been open just a couple of minutes and he was gradually getting accustomed to the faded light, he heard a click towards the end of the room and noticed a small light above the bedroom door had turned from red to green. Sticking one leg out the bed carefully, he fumbled his toe towards the floor. It wasn’t like he expected Big Brother to fill the carpet with snakes overnight, they would have slithered up on the bed, but he had to be on his guard on this show. There was the possibility of rolled up hedgehogs at least.

Satisfied that nothing was left on the floor apart from Steve’s worryingly large Stetson that he had packed in his overnight bag, Callum started to creep towards the door, squinting his eyes to make sure he didn’t knock into anything. The last thing he wanted to do on his first morning, was to trip over a trainer and land on top of Kat.

The sudden change of lighting was harsh on his eyes as he opened the door to the main part of the house. He closed it quickly behind him, not wanting any of his housemates to stir with the thought that there was some kind of UFO beam of light hovering above them. Habiba would probably go willingly with any extra-terrestrial visitors.

The house looked the same as it had the night before, just a few remnants from the evening’s celebrations were still remaining on the table and the kitchen counter, which Callum quickly tidied up. He had made a conscious effort not to drink too much last night, and even then he felt the alcohol start to fairy kiss his brain towards the end of the evening. He had to be careful in here, it wasn’t like when he was out at home. He couldn’t scurry somewhere outside to throw up two pints of his friend Linda’s mojitos into a bush, like he had a few months ago. That poor squirrel.

That didn’t mean that the others hadn’t partaken in as much drink as they could last night, sipping merrily like it would have no effect on them. Callum knew it was only first night nerves probably, and Big Brother had clearly limited the intake they had provided them with. Hopefully they would continue to do so.

As he was putting the final set of bottles in the store room, he heard a rumbling from the far side of the house. He peered out carefully, concerned that Steve had started snoring again and the action would bring the whole place crashing to the ground. Instead, he saw the blind over by the lounge start to move slowly up.

They had waited for a while last night, hoping that Big Brother would provide them with access to the garden. Kat had tried to use her nails to ping the blind back so she could get a peek, but Big Brother quickly told her off. Now though, it seemed like he would be the first to see what lurked outside.

Callum bent down his head, as the blind was still slowly raising and basked a little in the natural light that was shining through. It had only been a few hours but he missed the sun, and how it’s beams were gentle and careful, unlike the harsh exposing lights that were in the rest of the house.

Now that the blind was nearly up, he was pleased to see that the garden looked huge, even if it was in comparison to the cramped living conditions inside. There was a large lawn, the lush new green grass slightly swaying with the small breeze, as it called out to be trod on and used. Over on one side, he could even see a decent sized swimming pool. It was hardly Olympic training worthy, but it would be alright to have a dip in now and then.

He almost jumped back with surprise when he heard a click at the door. Carefully pulling at the handle, he was pleased when it slid open with ease. The first sensation that hit him was the heat; the purging, radiating warmth that drifted in from the outside. It was in deep contrast to the temperature inside. Big Brother had the air conditioning on constantly, and relentlessly, giving the feeling of a true winter cabin. He stepped out into the warmth, the sunshine bleeding through his socks and toasting his toes.

There was definitely an air of newness about the garden, that tar-edged scent of a fresh coat of paint hitting his nose immediately. They had tried not to make it seem that way, of course, with the same wooden panels that were dotted on the interior being blended out into the garden as well. It was to give it a rustic feel, like they lived out in the forest. Unfortunately, the large electricity cables and the large door labelled ‘Fire exit’ in the corner gave the game away a tad. The thought was there though.

In one of the other corners was a seating area, perhaps for the smokers, though no one asked or seemed to want a cigarette last night. Perhaps that’s why they didn’t open the garden, they’d deliberately put in a houseful of non-smokers. There was still those benches there though. Unless there would be more housemates sent in, but he scurried that thought away for now. The nine he was stuck with were more than enough to handle.

It wouldn’t be an understatement to say that there was an aching chill and a shiver that flew through his bones when behind him he heard a clucking. So, they had chickens then. There were rumours there would be, but he was hoping some animal rights campaign would put a stop to it. Though, he supposed if it was considered humane to lock all ten housemates up, those poor flappy bastards stood no chance.

Looking on the bright side, at least they would have a constant supply of eggs. Having an instant source of food would be a huge mark in the ‘pro’ column for the birds. That was it though. That would be the only benefit to their existence here. Callum knew he probably sounded whiny if anyone had heard him out loud, and right now the cameras were probably capturing him squinting suspiciously as one of them turned its beady little eye on him. It’s just that he wasn’t exactly used to having poultry around him. He hoped they came with an instruction manual, like how to switch them off and reset them if necessary. The most contact he’d ever had with chickens was just shortly before he threw some in his pasta sauce. Not that he was planning on killing the birds on national television and serving them up with linguine. Unless he wanted to be on the front page of every tabloid, of course.

No, it was best that they stuck with the eggs. Though he hoped someone else would go in and get them. There were three more of them now staring at him with their evil round eyes. He really didn’t want to have to go in there and end up getting his bits pecked off. That probably would make the highlights show, and he wanted to avoid doing anything that would make it on to the main program as much as possible.

Callum spent a few minutes walking leisurely around the side of the lawn. It looked just like a regular garden in some ways. You could feel like you were all alone in the world, at peace in your own space. Not that he’d ever had a garden, of course. That wasn’t something you get growing up in a cramped fifth floor flat, or in the army barracks, or a tiny apartment over a shop. The most he’d ever had was a window box with crunch dried soil, and an indoor plant with an attitude that seemed to grow in every direction and drop watery leaves to purposefully stain his carpet. That was about it. There was that other plant that he received as a gift. He kept watering it and watering it, but it just kept over flowing and it never looked any healthier. It took him a month to figure out it was made of plastic. 

There were more little touches that made it clear that this was not like a regular garden, if you really squinted and looked. All the mirrors, for one example. They weren’t as disconcerting as he thought they would be though. It was relatively easy not to look directly at them, not to catch a true glimpse of yourself, and when you did, they actually just made it feel more solitary. They heightened the enclosed and alone feeling in a profound and life altering way. Of course, the fact there was a middle aged and overweight cameraman probably scratching his arse on the other side lowered the philosophical feeling a smidge.

Callum almost kept forgetting they were there though. He had to remind himself more and more frequently that there were people watching, looking at him. They probably couldn’t give a toss though. All their job demanded was to point and capture what was happening. Callum felt them drift away, they were just becoming ghosts now. He wondered if at any point they wouldn’t even be that and he would forget them altogether.

There were other noticeable details that suggested it wasn’t your average English country garden. Looking up at the walls, there were rivets and fixings on the side, but nothing had been attached. He assumed that maybe the design of the house had been changed as they were going along, and they hadn’t needed to use them, or maybe it was something to do with the technical equipment. He quickly lost interest in that when another part of the garden caught his eye.

Over in the final corner, large and dominating in stature, was a huge wooden shed. At least it looked like a shed to Callum’s eye, though thinking it through, he wasn’t exactly sure what the housemates would need a shed for. It wasn’t as if they needed a space to store a broken lawn mower, half a bottle of turps and a handful of spiders. He went to try the door handle, before hesitating, wondering if there were more chickens in there. He couldn’t hear any clucks and bird like curses of his name, so he assumed it was safe. When he pulled at the handle though, nothing happened. It was locked.

“No exactly a luxury villa is it?” he heard a voice whine behind him. Turning around he saw one of his housemates stagger out the patio doors. “That’s what the press said before we came in; the house and garden was supposed to be in the style of a luxurious Roman Villa, not this dump.”

Although her face was blocked by a pair of huge sunglasses, he noticed Dotty’s scowl piercing though the garden. She certainly had the demeanour of a Roman Emperor. One of those really weird ones that ate babies and had their horses elected as their advisers. He was thankful that the house had a more tranquil vibe, and he wasn’t going to have to bow down to the senate of chickens.

“I dunno,” he replied, calling back to the woman as she slowly made her way out, her nose in the air with distaste. “I think it’s quite peaceful.”

“Yeah with the stink of chicken shit, and a pool the size of a toddler’s bath,” she replied, still scowling, though her glasses hid what it was aimed at. “What you doing up so early anyway?”

It was a question filled with an underlying motive and tinged with an inferring criticism, but he tried to ignore the tone behind it. “Years in the army,” he explained. “Got used to being up with the sun, especially when I was a chef. Getting the breakfast ready, you had to be awake before most went to bed.”

Dotty looked at him curiously, as if something was ticking together, before a smile suddenly hooked at her lips. “You should do that now.”

Callum glanced around at the cameras when she started to shuffle closer to him. He took a tentative step back. There was a risk that people could think they were bonding, and he didn’t want Whitney thinking he was interested in the young woman. “Should do what?” he asked tentatively, thankful she was wearing her sunglasses so he didn’t have to make eye contact. Although, they did make her look like a praying mantis, and he was keeping a close eye on her arms just incase they suddenly pulled him in with a pincer grip ready to rip off his head.

“Cook breakfast for us all,” she replied, with a casual shrug. “I’ve just checked the fridge, there’s all the food in there; sausage, bacon, eggs, bit of black pudding. It’ll be nice for everyone to have a good fry up on the first morning.”

He started shaking his head. “We’ll wait for everyone to get up,” he said decisively. “I don’t want to start cooking all our food without everyone agreeing.”

That would look awful. He couldn’t imagine how it would appear if he wasted all their food in one day, and then be responsible for losing their entire shopping budget the next. The only way he could look worse was to bust down the door to shed, shove all his housemates in, lock it up and wait for them to starve to death. Even then at least they could gnaw on a spider’s leg and wash it down with some turps. No, there was no possibility he’d do anything that would risk them going without food.

“We all need to eat, Callum,” she replied softly. “I think most people will want a good feed once they get up. You’ll be doing everyone a favour.”

Before he could answer, he heard a squawking behind him, both human and avian in origin. “Morning, Steve,” he called out, as the man hoped back over the chicken wire holding his fingers and screwing up his face. “You alright?”

“Can’t complain, Callum,” he said, holding his hand up high above his head. “Just a little nip from one of the little chirpies. I won’t ‘wine’ on though!”

“Here, Steve? Callum’s wants to do everyone a fry up. You in?” Dotty yelled across the garden. “You should probably get that hand seen to first though. You’re dropping blood everywhere.”

Callum couldn’t see it from where he was standing, but then he wasn’t a predator mantis sniffing out its prey. They always say that sharks could smell a droplet of blood from miles away. Dotty appeared to be perfectly nice, and having a good conversation with him, but he just couldn’t shake what his instincts were telling him.

“A fry up sounds good!” Steve called back, cradling his hand as he made his way back to the door. “It’s funny, it’s the little things you miss when you’ve been away from home for a long time.”

Callum didn’t want to mention that it was only day two and they hadn’t even unpacked yet. They hadn’t even received their suitcases, and they’d yet to even have a meal. He didn’t think it would be much of a comfort to the other man, especially as he was trying to slide the door open with his foot in an effort to make his way to the diary room.

“See, that answers it for you,” Dotty proclaimed, folding her arms as if the answer was now written into law. “You better get going. Everyone else will be up soon, and they’ll be hungry. I’m off to have a shower.”

There was a little niggling in his brain, a little doubt setting in, but he didn’t want to come over as paranoid. Everyone would have heard Dotty and Steve telling him that is was a good idea. It would make him look selfish now if he refused to take them up on their request.

Heading to the kitchen, he opened up the fridge; it was huge. The amount of food seemed excessive for just ten of them. He was used to making a little go a long way, so he started to take only the items out that he really needed before he got to work. The little Pixar lamp shaped camera chirped and buzzed his way, but he wasn’t sure if it was in warning or complementing his effort. There would be some reason his face was turned towards Callum. Something he was watching and waiting for.

Fifteen minutes after he had started cooking, the bedroom door started to open, just as he was about ready to dish everything up. “Morning everyone,” he said as some of his housemates made their way out. He could see a glow peeping out from the bedroom. Big Brother had turned the light on. They wanted them all up now. They were ready for some action to start. Callum had a funny feeling he would unintentionally be at the centre of it. “I’ve done some breakfast, if anyone wants some.”

There was a silence, one that shot straight to his stomach. Why weren’t they saying anything? Ash looked round to the others before, walking forward with her arms crossed like she was going in for a hostage negotiation. “You made all of this for us?” she asked. Her voice was neutral. Callum supposed it needed to be. She needed to keep the suspect onside, keep him talking but not give anything away as the sharp shooters lined their laser rifles up.

Before he could respond, Dotty came in from the bathroom, hair wrapped in a towel. “Someone’s been busy,” she said, glancing down her nose at the food he had set out on the counter. “You’re not in the army anymore, Callum! You’ve cooked enough there for the five thousand. You left anything in the fridge for the next few days or are we going to starve?”

“Yeah, plenty,” he said, squinting at her suspiciously. Pixar was squeaking his protest in the background, following the conversation between the two housemates. Apparently his movement before had been a warning. He should have listened. “You want some?”

She snarled towards the food like he had spat all over it. “I’m a vegan. I can’t eat any of this,” she replied, with an exaggerated sigh. “I hope the others are hungry, otherwise it’ll all go to waste.”

Vinney, who was licking his lips and just about to grab a plate, retreated when he saw Dotty look over at him with raised eyebrows. “Yeah, I’m not good with all this fried food. I’ll just have some of the toast.”

Ash was now at the conflict resolution stage of her negotiation. Give the suspect a little of what they want, before you whack them over the head and hurl them in the back of a prison van. “I’ll just have a bit of toast too,” she said, apologetically “Sorry, I’m just not used to having a big meal in the morning. Just a coffee and some fruit usually.”

“A bit of protein’s good in the morning!” Kush remarked, though by the looks of him Callum imagined he would usually just swallow his eggs down raw and whole, shell and all. If that was the case, it would save him having to go in the chicken coop. He could just send Kush in to down the offerings in one go.

Kush was nothing if not polite though, and put a good portion on his plate. Isaac wasn’t as placating, turning his head away from the food with a groan, and grabbing a cup of coffee. He clearly had more of a hang over than the rest of them.

“What made you cook all this up?” Habiba asked, sliding some scrambled eggs onto a plate. “You’re not one of those sleepwalking chefs are you. I saw a documentary about a man who wandered into Pizza Hut when it was closed once, fully dead to the world, and made three ham and pineapple, four veggie and a margarita.”

“Is that really a thing?” he heard himself asking, before realising he didn’t need to know. Callum quickly turned to answer her first question, and did it loudly so most of the group could hear. “It weren’t really my idea anyway, to cook all this up.”

“Look at all this!” Steve said, as he exited the Diary Room, his hand wrapped up like they were beginning the slow mummification process. “I bet you can hear my belly rumbling from here! This was a brilliant idea from you, Callum!”

All the heads turned to face him, eyebrows high up on their foreheads. All except Dotty whose face remained dead even, apart from the slight upturn of a lip. They all took their small dishes of food and sat at the dining table, with the exception of Steve who piled his plate sky high, knocking some bacon on with his bandaged hand.

Callum couldn’t help but watch them sitting at the table. His paranoia was hitting again, and he could swear they were sneaking looks out the corner of their eyes at him and whispering under their breath, Dotty at the centre like a black hole that was dragging in the small planets to its orbit. He knew it was probably just his imagination though. They wouldn’t be bad mouthing him while he was just a few feet away, and only on the second day.

“They’re all talking about you,” a sleep filled low voice said, catching his attention and grasping at his ears. Callum turned to look towards Ben as the echoing rumble still seemed to fill the air.

He looked a little different to the night before. His hair hadn’t been brushed and was out of place, and he was surrounded by a big fluffy navy dressing gown. The glasses perched on his nose made him look younger, innocent in a way. Callum tried not to be taken in by it and shook away any of the nameless feeling that started to fizzle up. “What?”

Ben cleared his throat before shuffling nearer on the other side of the counter. Pixar wasn’t looking. He was giving them a moment to themselves, and that almost made Callum more nervous. “They think you done all this cooking and food to make yourself look good,” Ben explained, nodding his head towards the table where the housemates were sitting.

“I never!” he protested in a forceful whisper. It wasn’t really a surprise though, and there was no point in his denial. He could see it all in their faces. They couldn’t forget they were in a game, and as far as everyone sitting down was concerned, he’d just knocked the first pawn off the board. “I just wanted to do something nice for everyone.”

Ben looked at him and narrowed his eyes for a second, pushing his glasses a little up his nose. It felt intrusive and exposing, more so than the twenty cameras he knew must be pointed his way. Callum wanted to look back, wanted to hold that expression and talk back with just his eyes. He couldn’t look though. He couldn’t keep that gaze. It was too much. Then Ben’s expression behind his glasses softened, and he leaned back and nodded his head. “Okay,” he said simply, as if Callum’s denial was all he needed. He grabbed a plate and started loading it with food, taking bites of it as he went. “I do like a man who knows what to do with a sausage.”

Callum tried not to react, and in truth his head was so filled with questions he wasn’t sure he could. He couldn’t tell whether Ben believed him or not. He knew the others at the table didn’t. He could sense their disappointment in him, even if they didn’t say so with their words. With Ben though, he just couldn’t read it, not without a closer look, and he daren’t.

“Cor, look at this lot!” Kat said as she staggered out the bedroom. She was wearing the same outfit as the night before, though most of them had brought a change of clothes in the small overnight bag that they were allowed to bring with them until they received their larger cases. “Callum, if you’re trying to get me into your bed you’re going the right way about it. Poor old Steve will just have to put a pillow over his head to drown out the noise, won’t he!”

He smiled a little at her cackle, as she rubbed her hands together and started to pile up her plate. At least someone was pleased with his efforts. Callum started to think about everyone watching and if the ratio was the same as the house, then only one out of every ten people would think he did the right thing. That really wasn’t working in his favour. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

** Day Three **

Callum was surprised at how quickly the first full day in the house had gone. He hadn’t got off to the best start with most of his housemates, at least not the one he wanted and hoped. This always happened though; in all new situations he seemed to want to present himself as calm and friendly, but it always ended up with people having the overwhelming sensation that he was an idiot. He knew how to counter it though, from years of experience, and he made sure he spoke to every one of his housemates to try and prove he didn’t cook the baked beans out of malicious intent.

All except one housemate. He didn’t go out of his way to avoid Ben for the rest of that day, but he didn’t pull him aside for a chat like he did with everyone else. Callum had learned about Ash’s job as a doctor, Habiba’s hair routine and talked about work outs with Kush. They agreed to do a little training together every day, keep them both fit and as a good way to occupy their endless free time.

When they were unpacking their cases, which has appeared in the storeroom later that day, he spoke with Kat, and for the first time it felt like a proper conversation with the older woman.

“Who’s that then?” she had asked, peering over at his case and taking in the picture that rested on a jumper.

Callum dug it out. He hadn’t put it in his case initially. When he’d gone away in hiding, he had opened the bag up and found the photo sitting on the top of his clothes. “Oh, that’s Whitney,” he said, with a faded smile. He couldn’t avoid it anymore. He would have to put the picture up now it had been drawn attention to. It was a beautiful photo of her, and to remind the audience that he was just a normal bloke with a lovely woman waiting at home, wouldn’t be a bad thing. “She’s my fiancée.”

“Well, she’s gorgeous, darlin’,” Kat said, as she pinned five photographs filled with young smiling faces up by her bed. She touched them gently, lingering her fingers there as though there would be a chance they would respond. “When’s the big day?”

Callum gave a little shrug as he tacked up the photo, just hiding it slightly behind a few of the toiletries and nic nacs on his bedside table. “I’m not sure yet. I’m just gonna let Whitney decide all that. It’s her big day after all.”

“You need to get involved too!” she said, pulling out a worrying stack of leopard print underwear from her case. It was like someone had stuffed the cast of The Lion King in her bag, and they’d slowly decayed away, leaving just their skins. “My ex-husband wouldn’t shut up when we decided to get hitched. Had a hand in everything, including the bride!”

There was that cackle again, but there was something behind her eyes when she kept glancing back at her pictures that told him it wasn’t all laughter in there. Callum looked around at everyone else unpacking their cases, many of them standing photos up on the little table beside them, or sticking them on the wall. He gave a glance over to Ben in the corner of the room opposite him. There was a photo in his hand that he was covering. None of the cameras could probably pick it up, but Callum could just about make out a young blonde girl. Before Callum could get a better look, it was tucked away in a draw. Maybe he wasn’t the only one with secrets.

For the remainder of that afternoon and evening, he’d gone and sat with each of the rest of his housemates while they were all making the most of the sun in the garden. Isaac it turned out was a teacher, but he didn’t seem a happy one. Whitney had some friends that worked in schools, and though they could complain about their job sometimes, they clearly loved it too. Isaac seemed to have wandered into his job by accident. The school probably sent his Big Brother application in for him, just in the hopes he wouldn’t return.

Callum had even had a conversation with Vinney and Dotty, hoping he could at least develop a civil relationship with them both. To his credit, Vinney didn’t seem to hold any sort of grudge, or at least he had forgotten he was supposed to. He talked at length about his DJ career, which as it turned out mainly seemed to be birthday parties for his friends. He wasn’t exactly headlining in Ibiza yet, but then perhaps that’s why he was here. It would also explain the constant headphones he was wearing, marketing his career as if anyone could forget.

Though at the heart of it, Dotty was clearly a blood sucking mosquito, buzzing from here to there, he tried to talk about her veganism. She looked suspicious, but that was generally just her resting face, so he wasn’t put off too much. Pixar joined in the conversation, and Callum hoped he heard some of the products that they discussed. He wasn’t sure how much power the little guy had with the big bosses upstairs, but they might be able to swing a bit of tofu their way. It all depended how influential a small lamp shaped camera could be.

Callum had felt better when they went to bed that evening. He hated the thought of not getting on with everyone, and when he drifted off there was contentment in his mind and loud snores in his ears.

This morning he was up early again, creeping out the bedroom while the lights were still off and everyone else was softly sleeping. Well apart from the bulldozer, cleverly disguised in human form, next to him. Quickly, he struck a glance at Ben’s bed, just for those few seconds, but he didn’t allow himself long enough to see anything. Ben was just snuggled on his side under the covers.

There was a slight squeak to the bedroom door, but it didn’t stir anyone. His body felt restless, his mind even more so after the day before. Every decision he had made was buzzing around his head, twisting how they could be perceived. He only talked to everyone yesterday because he wanted to be friendly with them, and make sure the house had a positive atmosphere. Last night though, in between sleep and dreams, he started to think how that would look put together in an hour show.

He started to run around the garden, the pressure building a little just thinking about it. The audience would probably just see him bounce from housemate to housemate with every clip, like he was trying to get them onside. That, and the fact it probably looked like he was running away from Steve all day, like some confused roadrunner avoiding a hapless Wile E. Coyote.

“You not doing any grub this morning then?” Ben called out from the patio door, and it made him almost instantly loose his rhythm. The other man didn’t retreat back into the house as he hoped, but instead stepped outside. “Never mind, this will keep me going for now.”

Callum carried on running, needing to get his body to keep going, worried he would fall flat on his face with trembling legs if he tried to stop now. Ben simply went to perch on one of the benches, rested his feet up on a small table and sat watching him for a few minutes. Callum could feel his eyes tracing him, and they were more focused than all the hundred cameras in the house put together. He could feel the gaze tingle over his body, as if it were tactile. As if it were touching.

Finally, he had to stop. Ben didn’t look like he was moving anytime soon, and he didn’t want to over do it when he’d agreed to train with Kush later. Callum sat down on the grass, wiped the sweat from his forehead and then leaned his arms on his knees.

“What number were you?” Ben asked suddenly, still looking towards Callum like he was studying him.

Callum huffed and puffed his breath, as he raised his head and looked properly back at Ben. Once he’d taken that first glance, that was it. He didn’t want to look away. It was like he was locked in the conversation now, and he wasn’t sure it was on his terms. “What?”

“I was ninth entering the house,” Ben explained, cocking his head to the side. “What number were you? You weren’t number six were you? Because my heart may just skip a beat if we had that combination.”

Callum shook his head. “No,” he said, unsure why it mattered. “I come first.”

Ben grinned back at him. “Well that’s good to know,” he said, and Callum could feel his cheeks pink up beneath his skin. Thankfully, they were reddened anyway from his run. Perhaps if he never stopped jogging around the house then he would never have embarrassment creep in. “You look like you got a lot of stamina this morning though.”

“Why you saying these things to me? You were more interested in winding up Kush yesterday,” Callum added, and if it sounded like there was a hint of jealously in his tone to anyone listening, then it was just the way the timbre of his voice carried over the microphone. There was absolutely no reason for him to be jealous. None at all.

Callum may have avoided speaking to Ben yesterday, but he certainly couldn’t avoid seeing him. How could he help not looking in his direction when they were in the same small house together? That’s what he told himself every time he took a glance over to where Ben and Kush were laughing, and his ears caught a few euphemistic comments Ben made to the other man, added to by Kat with a giggle.

Ben chewed at his lip a little at Callum’s comment. It always looked like he was trying to decide the tone of the answer he would give. “It ain’t as much fun with him,” Ben confessed. “He don’t blush like you do.”

“I ain’t doing it on purpose,” he said quietly, so low he wasn’t sure that Ben could hear from where he was sitting.

“I know,” he replied, and it was gentle, and Callum felt the warmth there was more intense than that from the sun beaming down in him. “Just how you weren’t cooking all that food yesterday to impress everyone else, and how you weren’t chatting to everyone in turn to get them onside.”

“I weren’t!” Callum protested, and he furrowed his eyes at Ben, not sure if he was being accused or resolved. “I was just trying to get along with everyone.”

Ben held his hand out, a quiet gesture but one that seemed to have meaning. He just didn’t know what. “I know,” he repeated. Callum wondered if he meant it. Whether he understood that Callum didn’t really view this as a game, didn’t really care if he went home tomorrow. Or maybe he thought just like the rest of them. “All except me of course. You didn’t speak to me. Or PC Plod, I noticed you shuffling away from him a few times! You afraid I was going to start making wine puns and all?”

“He’s a good, bloke,” Callum conceded. “Just hear a lot of him in the night, don’t I?”

Ben scoffed. “You think you’re the only one? I’m right in his flight path. Those snores bolt across and echo off the wall above me!”

“You never look awake,” Callum admitted, before searching for his delete button. It turns out things you say can’t be taken back.

“You been watching me kip have you? I can’t say I blame you, I’m a right little Sleeping Beauty,” he replied, eyebrows raised. Callum waited for a follow up comment about the multitude of ways he could offer to wake him up, but it didn’t come. He could see that Ben went to say something, to open his mouth and carry on the teasing, but something stopped him.

Callum started to get up, the silence feeling thick now. “I should probably jump in the shower; I’m starting to whiff a bit!” he said with a quick smile, wanting to escape. It was too much now.

“Well give’us a shout if you want to double up and save on water,” he replied, before looking down. “I’ll put breakfast on, shall I? There’s loads left in the fridge.”

Callum gave a simple nod, before Ben’s voice stopped him again. “Wait, did you say you were in first?” he asked. “You were the first one through the door on opening night?”

“Yeah,” Callum replied, though he didn’t understand the interest. “I came in, then it was Steve next. Why?”

“No reason,” Ben replied, though there was clearly something whirling through his head. “Just curious, that’s all.”

Callum gave another quick quirk of his head, before walking to the bathroom. He felt eyes follow.

Ben cooking breakfast seemed to raise eyebrows for a multitude reasons. Firstly, the practice of doing a task around the house that benefited other people seemed to contradict everything that they had thought about him for the past few days. Callum saw Ash slowly scrape the food off her fork, as if the poison would set in at any moment.

To be fair to them, Ben’s entire activity for the past few days had seemed to be limited to moving his sitting position from chair to couch, to table, to counter, to stairs. He was like a feral tomcat that had strolled in on launch night, rather than a housemate. All the time offering a snarky remark, a critique or just watching as though he were a viewer and not an active participant in the show.

The style of the cooking that Ben achieved wasn’t exactly as precise as Callum’s had been the day before. He seemed to have just chucked everything into the one pan and hoped for the best. The finished article that was placed on the table did look like it had been thrown into a bin by accident and then retrieved. If of course before the rescue, the bin was hurled down a large hill and then rolled on by a herd of oxen.

No one seemed to mention anything to Ben’s face, but they certainly spent their time drawing the food around their plates. All except Dotty who remained with a scowl after Ben had thrown a round of dry toast onto the table (“For the rabbits,” he’d said with a smirk). They certainly seemed to appreciate Callum’s cooking more now.

“Well, why don’t you do all the meals?” Ash offered, as some raw egg slid off her fork. “If you don’t mind, of course.”

They all nodded with agreement, apart from Dotty. She understood what the outcome of that was; that it would mean the rest of the housemates counted and relied on him for something that could make him indispensable. For some reason, she wanted him out. He didn’t understand why he’d be a target for her, unless she was just picking off the weakest first.

“Do you want me to be your deputy chef, Callum?” Habiba said nibbling on some of Dotty’s dry toast. “I’ve got waitressing experience, you know. I used to bring water to the runners at the London Marathon. They were moving quite fast, so I had to just chuck it in their direction most of the time.”

“Well, anyone that wants can help,” he said with a shrug and a smile. He liked having something to do, and now he could be cooking every day, and have his work outs with Kush. It would help settle his mind, quieten it a little, rid it of thoughts and distractions that he wasn’t allowed to have. “We can all chip in, can’t we?”

“I think we should divvy up all the chores then,” Isaac remarked with a frown. “We all should be doing our bit, shouldn’t we?”

What he really meant was they all wanted to be seen to be doing something. Everything was about the game. No one wanted to just have the appearance of sitting there and doing nothing.

Well almost no one. “I ain’t being divvied up for anything!” Ben remarked, licking his fingers as his fork clattered on his plate. “This ain’t your infant school class! We’re grown adults, we don’t need to be given stickers with our job labels on them.”

“Fine,” Dotty remarked, shuffling in her seat. She did that when she was about to proclaim herself as leading something, like the power crazed Empress she was turning out to be. “We’ll divide up all the chores, and you can just have what’s left. Callum and Habs are on cooking. Who wants washing up?”

“I don’t mind that,” Ash replied. “As long as someone will help.”

“Well, I’ve always been called a bit of a scrubber, so I’ll join you sweetheart,” Kat called out, using her knife to saw up her slice of baked beans.

Dotty continued to dish out the chores; the responsibility for cleaning the windows and mirrors went to Kush and Isaac and she left tidying for her and Vinney, which most people did as they went along anyway. “Right, that leaves the chickens,” she proclaimed. “That’ll be you and Steve then, Ben.”

Ben looked back at her with a shake of his head. “I thought you’d relish that role, what with you being all about kindness to animals, Dotty,” he said. She knew what she was doing. He couldn’t be seen to neglect the animals. It was the one job he could be given, that people outside and inside the house would care about. Except Callum. He would be perfectly happy to just hurl them over the wall and hope they didn’t claw their way back over with their tappy beaks. “Fine.”

“Don’t you worry, Ben,” Steve said, clapping him on the back. “I’m a natural, we’ll struggle through together. Hey, why did the copper arrest the chicken? Because he thought there was ‘fowl play’!

Callum caught Ben’s eye then. He seemed to blame him a little, like this was all his fault in a way. He just didn’t know how.

After dinner that evening, Habiba returned from the diary room waving an envelope and skipping merrily. “We’ve got a game to play!” she said excitedly. “And Big Brother is going to reward us with some drinks if we get enough right!”

They all gathered around the sofas as she read out the rules. “Housemates, how well do you really know each other? There will be ten statements that Big Brother will read out. We’ve all got to write down who we think the statements are about, but you can never write your own name. You have to lie on that one. If enough of us guess the correct answers then we win!”

They all dished out the whiteboard and pens, ready and waiting. It wasn’t long before Big Brother read out the first statement.

_“This housemate was in the army.”_

Callum breathed a sigh of relief. Unless they were going to have more than one statement for each housemate, he was safe, and this was the best fact they could have revealed about him. He knew they had more of his secrets tucked away. He just hoped they stayed that way.

They all quickly wrote on their whiteboards. Callum wasn’t allowed to put his own name, so he scrawled down Steve’s. When it was time, they all turned over their boards to reveal Callum’s name. The only exception being Habiba.

“You put Kat?” Kush exclaimed, shaking his head. “Despite the fact we’ve all talked about Callum being in the army multiple times!”

Habiba wiped her board down in frustration. “She wears all that camouflage gear, doesn’t she?” she muttered, as if it were obvious.

“She wears leopard print! That’s only camouflage if you’re slinking after a gazelle in the Serengeti!” Ben exclaimed. “You better not have screwed up our chance at winning. I need a drink after today!”

They all finished wiping their boards down, just as Big Brother read out the next statement.

_“This housemate’s real first name is Kirsty.”_

“You better not put down Kush because it begins with a ‘K’, Habs,” Ben muttered towards the young woman who shushed him back and reminded him they weren’t supposed to help each other.

As it turned out, the answer was revealed to be Dotty. They were all supposed to give a brief explanation once they had been revealed. She only said it was after her grandmother, which sounded like a lovely reason. It seemed a little too nice, and that made Callum suspicious. That couldn’t be the whole truth. They prepared and listened for the next statement.

_“This housemate has been to prison.”_

All their eyes widened at the statement, especially Steve who looked like he was five seconds away from getting his notebook and badge out. Callum was a little confused. He thought they didn’t allow anyone in the house who had served time? It was clearly just a minor offence, maybe ‘Drunk and Disorderly’, something mundane like that. He looked around the group and thought about who was most likely to spend an evening in the cells after drinking themselves into oblivion. Kat caught his eye first, though the way Isaac was downing his drink the other day it could be him. He went with Kat though; he knew she wouldn’t be offended by his answer.

They all turned their boards over, and they had all written down Kat’s name, apart from the woman herself. “Oh that’s charming, that is! I might have spent a night or two sleeping off a happy hour in one of the local nick’s finest suites, but I ain’t never done a bit of bird!”

_“The housemate that has been to prison is…Ben.”_

All eyes turned towards him as Big Brother gave the answer abruptly. Ben simply picked at the end of his whiteboard with his fingernail. Steve was looking like he was plotting to set up a twenty four hour patrol of the house in case Ben lured the chickens into a life of crime.

“So what was it, mate?” Kush asked, breaking the silence when it was clear that Ben wasn’t going to offer an explanation willingly. “You nick a couple of cans of larger? Drunk and disorderly was it?

“I killed someone,” Ben said, simply and plainly, as though he was giving a description of his hobbies. “When I was a kid, went away for manslaughter.”

The only sound was the squeaking of the boards being cleaned. It was like no one wanted to ask more, even Dotty who seemed to throw her hat into everything, was quiet now. The game went on with little fuss, and little controversy. No one else seemed to have an earth shattering revelation about their life.

It made Callum question everything so far. Ben had seemed so warm earlier in the garden, it was almost like Callum had misjudged him those first few days. He had still got his hackles up somehow, but he thought he was starting to see the true Ben, not this version that seemed to blur like a reflection. He wasn’t sure which one was which. The upside to someone looking and noticing you was that they could see the real you, and you could see them too. But in order for that to happen, you had to look back. You had to step closer, and in more ways than one Callum knew that could be a fatal mistake.

Tonight was a huge revelation though. Ben must have been young when he was put away if he was allowed in here. But if he was that young, no one would find out. The media, the show or anyone else wouldn’t be able to disclose that. Only Ben could give his permission. Why would he do that? What else did he want to keep a secret? And more importantly, could Callum really trust a word he said?

Should he take the risk of stepping closer and finding out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
> 
> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx


	4. Week One (Part 2)

** Day Four **

The next day started with a whimper, as bleak drizzle scurried down the patio doors leading to the outside garden. It was dreary, and grey, and it seemed to suit most their moods after last night’s events.

Callum didn’t know if Ben had said anything more about his prison experience later in evening, but he presumed not. He had the chance to speak in the task, and refused to explain more. In the end, they had won the drinks, but it was more an occasion for sniffling into their sorrows than a joyous celebration. Big Brother was stingy with the provisions too, so there was only enough for one or two drinks each, hardly doing much to raise their dwindling spirits. The mood was edgy and the air tight, as though a storm was brewing on the horizon.

After downing one bottle of beer, Callum headed off to bed, with most of the other housemates joining soon after. The only time anyone said anything else to him that night, was as Steve jumped in next to him, weighing down the mattress and giving him a prod. “Do you think he did it? Really?” he whispered, as though between the two of them the barman was supposed to work out someone’s guilt better than the detective.

Callum just shrugged, and muttered a few words back, turning over on his side and facing the wall. He knew the answer. Ben definitely did it. You could see it in his eyes, in his stance and in his actions. This was someone who was so weighed down with guilt and remorse, but never let it drip through to the surface. Callum recognised that. He wasn’t angry or disappointed with Ben, it didn’t make him think any more or less of him. He had plenty of people in his life that had served at Her Majesty’s; he wasn’t about to judge. Ben had paid for whatever he had done, and it looked like he was still paying.

It was a quiet morning in the house, even Kush was just choosing to lounge back on one of the sofas and watch the rain drizzle down the window. It seemed the initial rush of enthusiasm and adrenaline for coming into the show had faded, as the monotony and cabin fever were beginning to set in. All the initial conversations were over, there wasn’t much that they hadn’t heard about each other now, at least the facts they were prepared to admit. They had heard about brothers, sisters, pet hamsters and that time that Habiba got dragged out of frame by security on an outside broadcast of The One Show, and now had a restraining order from Matt Baker.

The small task yesterday had filled the time, the hours seeming to pass in a wink rather than the lull and unmanageable ticks that usually dragged throughout the day. Callum had spent some of the morning making breakfast, the food in the fridge slowly depleting with every passing meal. He could make it last though, and make sure it was tasty. It took up a portion of his time and for that he was grateful.

For once, he wasn’t the first one up that morning. As he padded into the lounge, and decided that trying to run on the soggy grass wasn’t the best idea, he noticed a figure moving in the chicken coop. Ben was outside, the drizzle pouring onto his head, holding a chicken in his arms. Though he did feel a slight pang of guilt afterwards, there was a momentary panic with the thought Ben may be about to harm it. Callum hated himself for thinking that, he hated Big Brother for making him think that. Then he remembered that he wanted Ben out the house. That he needed him out of the house.

Maybe that was Big Brother’s plan all along. They were shaping their characters, and Ben was the baddie of the series; the former convict who was lazing around the house, pissing everyone off and only responding with a biting comment. He was the villain of the piece, where redeeming qualities were few and who the audience loved to hate. There was one glaring problem with that idea; it didn’t seem to fit in with the young man out there in his dressing gown, cuddling and whispering to a chicken. It didn’t strike him as the image you’d see on a ‘Wanted’ poster for the country’s most dangerous criminals.

He knew it was just Big Brother trying to play them, to force their hand, to expose them and cause conflict, but he still couldn’t help but hold a little doubt about Ben. He seemed to be someone else underneath, and Callum wasn’t yet sure who that was. He wasn’t sure he could afford to take the risk. There was just something about him though. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“You not planning on going back to the army, Callum?” Steve asked, as they were all laying in the lounge. The rain continued to bucket down outside as the time drifted on slowly. It was such a mundane day that he’d finally even given up trying to scoot away from Steve, and instead just let the endless conversations happen. He felt that he could now describe in detail every social function held by the London Metropolitan Police from 1988 to 2019. That would now and forever be his Mastermind specialist subject thanks to the last two hours spent listening to the stories. The house walls were getting smaller and smaller as they continued on this journey.

Callum presumed that Steve didn’t mean right at this moment, although if the recruitment van parked outside, he’d be half tempted to dash straight into it, just to get away from Isaac muttering to himself and Dotty snapping her nails every ten seconds. “Nah, mate,” he replied. “I had medical discharge.”

“You don’t look particularly injured when you’re running around that garden every morning,” Dotty said with a click of her tongue. “Healed are you?”

There weren’t enough words in the world to describe how he hadn’t even begun to mend; not from who he was, or what he saw or the things that happened. Thankfully, he didn’t have to, as an unlikely rescuer answered for him. “Ah, see it doesn’t work like that, Dotty,” Steve said, sitting up, the way he always did when he was about to launch into an explanation. “Lots of regulations and forms and procedures to go through. You ever thought about joining the force, Callum? You’d be a good fit, and I could always mentor you through the application.

_“This is Big Brother. Would one housemate please come to the diary room.”_

Oh, thank god, Callum thought, as he heard the voice echo around them. He could imagine the next few weeks with Steve going through every law and procedure in the United Kingdom. He gave a thankful smile towards Pixar, who chirped back at him. Just to him though. He wasn’t moving his gaze as Vinney exited the diary room and called out for them all to gather on the sofa. The little camera’s focus on him was unnerving and he had a feeling he knew what was about to happen.

The few housemates, that weren’t already in the lounge, lumbered into room, including Ben who had napping in the bedroom. Quietly, he sat on the floor by Kat’s feet. He looked a little sad and withdrawn, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Vinney cleared his throat and adjusted his headphones, as if they had public speaking enhancers. “ _Housemates, for this week’s shopping task you will show your test of skill and mental endurance. Shortly you will receive a container containing one hundred thousand red, blue and green beads_ ,” he announced, making sure he enunciated every word, as he seemed to twiddle with the side of the headphones as though he were looking for a volume button. “ _Your job is to sort them into three individual jars. There is a red jar, a green jar and a blue jar to deposit the beads_.”

Habiba immediately raised her hand. “So wait-“

“Can we just get on, please,” Ben snapped at her, rubbing his face in his hands. “Colours are something you do in nursery school, we don’t need the Teletubbies to come out and break it down for us.”

Vinney waited for the comments to finish before continuing, not wanting anything to interrupt his big moment. “ _You have forty eight hours to achieve this. At the end of your time you'll need to have at least five thousand of each colour bead in one of the three jars.”_

“Well that sounds alright!” Kat exclaimed, slapping Kush on the leg for emphasis, and probably just to feel him up a bit. “There’s ten of us, all moving fifteen thousand at once, that should only take…well a lot less than forty eight hours!”

“Will you lot let me finish!” Vinney said with agitation, his headphones becoming lopsided as he almost stamped his foot like a toddler. _“However, only one of you can move the beads at any one time-“_

“Oh shit!” Isaac exclaimed, his mouth dropping open. He then seemed to have an idea as a gleam coated his eyes, and for the first time since he entered the house it wasn’t when a bottle of alcohol was placed in front of him. “So five thousand of each colour in their matching jar, but if you use both hands at once it won't take so long! You could easily get in a hundred a minute if you really pushed. And if we all did shifts of ten minutes each, it would mean we could take over when someone started to slow down!”

There was an almighty thud, as Vinney’s headphones hit the floor, that caused Pixar to slink his head back with nerves. “Will you all shut your faces! Just listen before you all start making plans! _‘All housemates have to do shifts of at least two hours at a time.’_ So basically we change the housemate every two hours over the next forty eight. That's only a few shifts each over the whole time.”

“Right, can we get started then?” Ash asked, her voice impatient, as though she had to move a few beads and then mosey off to a medical conference rather than her actual itinerary for the day, which included sitting down and washing up.

Vinney held his hand up. “One more thing to go. _‘You will be provided with a pair of tweezers to help you move the beads.’_ ” he concluded, throwing the piece of paper down now. He picked his headphones back up, which was probably for the best as Pixar seemed to be eyeing them up.

There was a communal groan around the sofas at the last instruction. This task wasn't going to be as easy as they first thought, especially with trying to navigate the tweezers to move the beads. Callum however was cheering on the inside. He tried to make sure he wore the same dubious and uncertain face as the rest of them did though. They would definitely become suspicious if he started smiling and jigging up and down the living room. This was better than he could have hoped for; he might not actually have to do anything to sabotage the task. It looked like they were going to fail all on their own.

Four hours later, and Callum’s mood had dropped significantly as he watched Kush power through moving the beads, each hitting their jar with a clear ping. The man was a freak of nature and Callum was sure that Kush should have applied for one of those endurance shows where they have to complete an obstacle course, rather than Big Brother. Maybe the applications got mixed up at the production company, and somewhere currently in London there was a twenty four year old IT consultant trying desperately to hang on to a trapeze while Chris Kamara commentated with despair.

It wasn’t just Kush that seemed to be giving this task his best though. Vinney had started the challenge off, driving through with an amazing concentration for two hours. At this rate, they would finish before twenty four hours was up, let alone the two day deadline. Callum didn’t know what to do, but he knew he had to do something, and fast.

“Callum, you cooking?” Isaac called out from where he was cheering Kush on like a boxing coach, bringing him water and massaging his shoulders to get out the muscle tension. “Might as well start to use the food up now, this man is killing it! Get some room in the fridge for all that luxury shopping we’re going to have!”

Callum just nodded, and started to get some of the ingredients out to make dinner. There had to be some way that he could throw them all off the task, distract them from it somehow. Looking to the oven, he wondered how much he could burn dinner before they would have to evacuate the house. Perhaps if he just boiled three bottles of oil on the highest heat, under the guise that he was going to deep fry everything, the ceiling-tickling flames it caused would be more than enough. Would Big Brother allow him to set the house on fire to win the task? They never exactly gave him any restrictions for what he couldn’t do, but he wasn’t sure having the fire brigade arrive and have to hoik ten people all over their shoulders, while the chicken’s started to burn alive, was quite what they expected. Besides, he guessed he still had to follow the house rules. They’d been left a huge welcome pack binder when they arrived, with every expectation from cleaning to behaviour.

No, he couldn’t be too conspicuous about this as the housemates would guess straight away. He just had to act normal, fade into the background and not have anyone or anything draw attention to him.

_“This is Big Brother, would Callum come to the diary room.”_

Well, that wasn’t the best start; he sensed Big Brother wasn’t going to be the most helpful accomplice to his mission. As he gave the rest of the housemates what he hoped was a confused smile and a shrug of his shoulders , he headed towards the back of the house. They were so busy watching Kush’s fingers now tremble from the tension-fuelled grip he had on the tweezers, that he could have had ‘Saboteur’ tattooed on his head and they still probably wouldn’t have noticed.

As he approached the room, he passed Ben, who was lounging on the stairs away from the action in the lounge. He was sitting and watching the other housemates, drinking slowly from a glass of water, and keeping an eye on the task from a distance. They didn’t look at each other as Callum passed, but he knew that Ben turned his head slightly afterwards. Just enough that Callum could catch a glimpse. That was the upside to all these mirrors. You could see when someone was looking even if they weren’t trying to be noticed.

Callum pushed open the diary room door, trying to put Ben out of his head, and get back to the task in hand. He clambered into the chair, putting his feet up to get comfortable. “Hi Big Brother!”

“Good evening, Callum. How is the task going?”

Were they joking? They must have been watching him clean the fridge for the last hour and seen him do absolutely nothing to stop even one bead getting in a jar. In fact, he’d even pointed out when one of them had dropped on the floor when Vinney was doing his shift, before inwardly kicking himself. To be fair, Big Brother had probably thought that he’d forgotten all about the task, for all the good he was doing. This was most likely just a little prompting reminder to stop faffing about and get on with it. He really was now more certain than ever, that if the show was constructing characters, then he would be thought of as the idiotic clown by the audience. Thinking it through though, there were worse things he could be labelled with. 

“They're doing really well at the moment and I'm not,” he confessed, knowing he was falling short. “I don't know how to get them to fail this. There's going to be someone there all the time and even when it's my go, they'll all be watching. I can hardly start hiding beads in my pocket, rattling around the house like a maraca!”

There was a hesitation, a moment of silence from Big Brother before their calm tone rang out again. “When is your shift, Callum?”

It clicked then, and he felt a smile appear on his face. He knew now what he could do to sabotage the task a little, and help get the housemates the luxury shopping budget, or at least something that would help direct the challenge that way. He wondered if Big Brother’s question had been deliberately leading, trying to help him as he was so clueless with ideas. It was more likely that viewers were dropping off day by day, disappointed that they weren’t watching someone manipulate and plot to destroy the whole task, and instead spent a lot of the day making bread. Callum would happily submit that he wasn’t exactly making for exciting television, and was content in the fact that he would be a forgettable housemate.

“Okay,” he said slowly, bringing his legs down off the chair. “I know what to do now.”

However, when he motioned to get up and leave, Big Brother’s voice rang out again, indicating they hadn’t finished with him yet.

“Callum, how are you getting on with your housemates?”

He settled himself back down in the chair, giving him some thinking time so words didn’t just fall from his mouth. “Alright, they seem like a good bunch so far. Not sure how they’re going to feel when they find out that I've been lying to them about the shopping task. Hopefully they'll forgive me, if I manage to get them the budget.”

“How did you enjoy the game last night?” Big Brother asked, but there was no sway or suggestion in their tone. They kept their voice even and upbeat. Callum knew exactly what they were asking though. He knew they wanted him to talk about Ben.

“It was good to have something to do,” he replied honestly, swerving any hint of controversy. “I guess it's early days and we're still trying to figure each other out. There's still a lot we don't know about each other.”

After dinner, they all had a conversation about who would take the shifts for the task overnight. Callum had made them a good meal, which they all tucked into heartily, and he was wondering how they were all going to cope with whatever pittance and scraps they had to snort up the following week. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be here to see it happen. He was still covertly rationing the food they had, hoping to make a little last into the following week, should the inevitable happen.

Isaac was on his turn at the bead task as the food came around, and Callum was hoping he would take a break and slow down the pace. There is no such luck though, as he tried to wolf down his chicken curry with one hand while moving the beads with the tweezers with the other, as Habiba moaned that they would probably be disqualified for getting sauce over the beads, changing them from blue to brown.

Steve offered to put himself up for the shift at midnight, claiming that he was used to working at that time of night on long stake outs. Callum wondered if his partners and colleagues had taken a prolonged absence from work after just one occasion of being stuck in a cramped car listening to the policeman waffle on about his top ten favourite jigsaws. However, he could tell that everyone else in the house silently cheered at the fact they could get two hours sleep while the man was out here working.

Callum knew he had to try and get the next shift after Steve, but he didn’t want to seem too eager. He didn’t want them to try and question his motives for wanting to clamber out of bed at two o’clock in the morning. It seemed to fit in perfectly though. “Well, I might as well go after you then, Steve. Cause you’ll probably wake me up when you climb into bed after anyway,” he started to say, and he couldn’t sense any suspicion on their faces yet. That didn’t stop his fingers jittering with nerves though. “This way I’ll already be up, or if not you can just give me a shove when you’re done and I can come and take over.”

“Well that seems logical,” Ash proclaimed, with her sensible head. Callum could have hugged her at that moment, if he didn’t think it would look slightly suspicious. “That way no one else has to be disturbed. Now it’s just the final shift of the night, four till six. Any offers? I know it’s gonna be draining, but someone has to do it.”

“Give me the one at eight tomorrow morning,” Ben added, picking at some left overs on Habiba’s plate with his fork. “I’ve got to do the chickens just before then anyway, and it seems like a decent time to get it over with. Can have breakfast and go back to bed after, can’t I!”

“No! Why should you get that time, when it’s probably when Big Brother will wake us all up at that point anyway!” Dotty retorted, disagreement all over her face. To be fair, it probably wouldn’t have mattered what time Ben had said, she would have gone against it and wanted him to do the opposite. If he’d offered to do the night shift, she probably would have protested against that too. “You should be doing the chickens earlier anyway, that’s what it says in the book. If you do the 4 o’clock shift then you can do them straight after. Everyone who agrees, raise their hand. 

“Why exactly is up to you to decide?” Ben replied narrowing his eyes, as a few people’s arms fluttered into the air. “Why am I the one that’s supposed to do the early hours?”

Dotty snarled back at him, chomping her teeth together like she had been waiting for this moment. “I’d have thought you'd want to get back into everyone's good books,” she started, as an edge of silence fell over the house, and everyone’s eyes darted between them. They were both in a standoff. “Rather than just be known for your secrets.”

“My secrets?” Ben replied accusatorily, and everyone could sense that he wasn't about to let Dotty get the final word. “That's a bit rich, ain't it Kirsty?”

“What?” she replied, too quickly and with too much tremble in her tone for it not to have meaning. “Not everyone uses their proper first name, do they? We don’t go around calling Steve by ‘Steven’, do we? Or you ‘Benjamin’. There’s loads of us in here that don’t use our proper names!”

“That ain't my proper name,” he replied haughtily. “It is just Ben, actually. So maybe you don't know as much about us as you think you do. I’d be careful with that.”

“My proper first name is actually Steven,” the policeman started to say, before Kush waved his hand at him to signal this wasn't the right time.

Dotty had retreated under the attack, but she still wasn’t finished. “I don't need to know,” she replied, jaw clenched before smiling. “Everyone can see. Are you going to do the early shift or not?”

Ben held her eyes for a moment, just a fraction of a second, as though he was tempted to say something out loud but was instead choosing to hang on to it. He then leaned back with a smile, as though he had got what he needed out of the conversation. “Yeah, I’ll do it,” he replied and there wasn't any annoyance at having lost the battle. “I guess I got to be up for the chickens anyway.”

Later in the evening, Callum ended up staying with Steve as he sat and did his shift on the beads at midnight. It seemed the logical step to take; he was far too nervous to get any sleep anyway, the thought lingering in his mind that he would have to start sabotaging soon. They already had a significant amount of beads in each coloured jar, and if they kept on going at the pace they had started with, then they would easily reach and achieve their target.

Another incentive to stay in the lounge was the fact that he could keep talking to Steve, divert him from the job at hand and slow down his pace. As it turned out, Steve was doing more than enough of a fine job of distracting himself, putting the tweezers down every few seconds to act out some exciting arrest he had made. It was almost getting to the point that Callum wondered if the policeman was on the same sabotaging task as he was, he seemed to spend so little time actually moving the beads over.

“So, then when I was in my first year of secondary school, my Maths teacher was a lady by the name of Mrs Luton,” Steve continued, as he was giving Callum a play by play of every teacher he had since primary school. “Lovely lady, it was a real shame she never saw that milk float coming. Now, during the second year, the teacher was a rather prickly fella called Mr Ferguson. He left everyone surprised when he got caught in the cupboard with – “

“I think that's the two hours up now, Steve!” Callum interrupted, now more than willing to live for two months of just consuming water and gruel rather than listen to another twenty minute story about Steve’s geography teacher and their pet ferret. “Why don't you shoot off to bed, mate? Get some kip in while you can.”

“Yeah, alright then, Callum,” he replied, standing up from the floor with a click of his aching knees. “You sure you don't want me to keep you company? “

“No!” Callum replied, gripping the back on the sofa to stop him from forcibly pushing Steve into the other room. “I'll only end up talking with you, and I won’t get any of the beads shifted, mate.”

Thankfully, Steve spent a minute getting a glass of water and then shuffled off to bed. Callum knelt down by the coffee table, positioned in the centre of the border of sofas, where the beads and jars were placed. He picked up the tweezers in case anyone decided to go for a stroll out of the bedroom in the early hours and wondered why he was napping next to the task. He had to look like he was trying his best, but ultimately he wasn't going to add anymore beads to the containers.

Pixar span around and Callum with glad of the company in the silence of the night. He looked towards him hopefully, in the off chance the little guy would signal some helpful advice for Callum to win his part of the task, but the camera said nothing that would be any help. They clearly needed some more time to get to know each other before it would trust Callum.

He picked and nudged at the beads with the tweezers, getting a few out before putting them on the table. he started to arrange them into letters of the alphabet, ‘A’ then ‘B’, followed by ‘C’ but that quickly became tiresome, and wouldn’t exactly look like he was giving his best effort if someone came out to see, so carefully put them all back in the main bowl, swirling the colours around with the tweezers.

Just sitting here and doing nothing didn’t seem much of a sabotage attempt, and he was sure he was expected to do more to actively destroy the task. Carefully checking the bedroom door to make sure all was silent, he reached into the coloured jars and put a few beads back into the main container. Only enough that it wouldn't be noticeable. Only enough to make it look like he and Steve were just incredibly slow at their tasks. He didn’t know any other way that wouldn’t be obvious and give the game away.

Time dragged like he’d never know it before. He couldn’t even get up and leave the coffee table and stroll around the moonlit garden for fear he’d be caught out. Callum couldn’t stop watching the door, and just had to sit here with only his thoughts to contend with. Even Pixar had put his head down and drifted off with the monotony. He knew he wouldn’t sleep very well tonight when he did go back to bed, his legs aching to get up and see what the bead count was up to once his shift was over and other people started powering through again.

Almost an hour and a half later, he jumped when the door to the bedroom suddenly creaked open. He had been expecting it for so long, but now it had happened, he almost didn't quite feel prepared and dropped the tweezers into the beads, hurriedly fumbling to get them out. Quickly, he started to move some red beads over into the red jar, not looking up. He afraid to look, in case he gave his inaction away, and just wanted to convince anyone watching that he was focused on his task at hand.

“Bit of a down step from the army, ain’t it? Sitting in your jimjams moving some poxy beads into a jar. Hardly has the same level of adrenaline as bomb defusing.”

Callum looked up at Ben, there was no malice or conflict in his words, just exhaustion in his tone. He was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and putting on his glasses. “I've still got another ten minutes to go,” Callum replied. “I was gonna come wake you when I'm done.”

“I would have stayed in bed if I'd known you'd come along and get me up!” he said with a smile, as he knelt down opposite Callum on the other side of the coffee table. “Once Steve came back though, it was like a steam train was cuddled up in the bed opposite me. Been awake over an hour now listening to him rumble on! How you getting on? “

Callum was more than slightly concerned by the question, knowing that the only response he could give would have to be a untruth. There was something about lying to Ben though, that made the words stick in his throat to halt their travel before they left his mouth, knowing they would be looked at under a magnifying glass. “I think I may have distracted Steve a bit from his task,” Callum said, putting down the tweezers for a minute in the hopes the conversation would divert attention from his lack of movement. “We're a right pair, I don't think we nearly did as well as other people have. Probably the time of day as well. Everyone always moves slower at night, don’t they?”

“I think you’re more than capable of keeping up a firm rhythm, ” Ben replied, and Callum could see his eyes dot from the main container to the coloured jars, almost as though he could count each and every bead. “Especially a trained, fit body like yours. I bet you could go for hours and hours. Moving the beads, I mean.”

Callum looked down and started to quickly transfer the coloured items to their jars in the hopes that neither Ben, or the cameras, would notice the warmth creeping into his cheeks. He then stopped his hand, suddenly getting caught between two minds. He didn’t want to draw attention to Ben's comments, but he also didn’t want to fail his task. It was then he realised what the most challenging part of the sabotage was going to end up being; Ben.

Needing to change the subject quickly, Callum put down the tweezers on the table again. “You've been quiet today,” he said, and though he didn't want to bring up this conversation, he had no choice. Not if he wanted to both pass the task, and distract Ben away from him. He picked up the tweezers again, not knowing what to do with his hands. “You been thinking about last night?”

“Nope,” Ben replied, though Callum could sense his jaw set and could see him start to chew his cheek a little. The more he looked at Ben, the more he started to notice these little fractures come through. But the more he looked, the more he wanted to keep looking, and that was another problem. As Ben turned his head though, Callum caught sight of something in his ear. A little hearing aid. It surprised him a little, Ben had never mentioned it, but he supposed it probably wouldn’t show up on screen. It was something he apparently didn’t want to share and talk about. “You clearly have though, you've barely acknowledged me all day. Even the copper had a bit of a chat with me. Do I make you nervous, Callum?”

Standing up quickly, the tweezers dropped into the bowl with a crackle and crunch. “I think that's my two hours up,” Callum announced, his voice husky and dry when it tried to escape at the same time as his fraught breath. He started to move towards the bedroom. “I should probably try and get some sleep. Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow, eh?”

“You can sleep in my bed if you want,” Ben called out behind him. “I'm serious; you ain't gonna get any sleep with the hurricane policeman in there, are you? And I ain't going back to bed now. I'll do the chickens when Habiba comes and takes over from me in the morning, and try and fit some kip in during the day.”

Callum gave a nod of acknowledgement, but couldn't bring himself to look Ben in the eye. He didn't know what he was going to find there. “Thanks,” he said quietly.

He knew he could stay out here, sit by Ben and chat to him for the next two hours, and it would delay the work. He wouldn't be able to move the beads as fast if Callum was talking all the time. There was just something in him that couldn't do it though, even if it did mean failing the task. He didn't know if he could sit alone here with Ben in the early hours of the morning and not get further drawn in. He had to keep away. He had to.

Creeping quietly into the bedroom, he sneaked down the room to the end where his bed was, trying not to disturb any of his housemates’ beds. He looked to his left to the single bed with the slightly rumpled duvet and the pillows wonky by the headboard. He then looked towards his right. Steve was spread out like a starfish quibbling about on the bed of the ocean. There was no snoring at the moment, but his breath was coming out in thick and fast missiles towards Callum's side of the mattress. It would be like sleeping next to vacuum cleaner.

Before he could change his mind, he tiptoed over to the single bed that was left unoccupied by Ben. He climbed in, putting the duvet comfortably around his shoulders and snuggling down to get out of the cold breeze that was circulating from the air conditioning. He lay his head on the pillow, wiggling it down with his hands to get comfortable. It was still a little warm and he breathed in quietly and slowly. He knew the scent slightly, just from a linger of a pass, but it seemed seared in his memory. It was becoming familiar to him now, and having it flitter around his senses made his eyes close and his mind fall into a dream laden sleep.

**Day Five**

He felt the brush of his arm before he'd even woken up, as it merged with the visions in his mind and cause a pleasant rush to fly through his body.

“Callum,” the voice whispered in a rumble above him, and also in the world he was emerging from in his slumber. “Callum, wake up! Isaac’s threatening to raid the fridge if you don't make breakfast. We want to have some food left, don't we? Come on! You've got work to do and if you keep laying there, I’m going to have to crawl in with you.”

Opening his eyes, his brain started to comprehend where he was, and who the voice belonged to. He didn't usually sleep that deeply and it took him a minute to wake up. That came quickly though, when he realised the extra weight on the bed and the pressure on his arm was coming from Ben.

He was only perched on the edge of the mattress, and the hand was on top of the duvet covering his elbow, but it still caused Callum to sit up with a start, needing to get away. Needing the closeness to disappear. Needing the enjoyment to vanish. He needed to get rid of it now.

“God, I'm so sorry,” Callum said, scrambling from the bed and stumbling back towards his own, now empty, double. He looked around the room and it was all vacant but for him and Ben. “What time is it?”

Ben looked back at him, his hand still ghosting where Callum once lay, almost as if he had wanted him to stay there, to keep him under his touch for just a moment longer. “Getting on for ten o'clock,” he replied, standing up now and heading towards the door, seeming to recognise that Callum needed him away. “Not like you to be so inactive in the morning.”

“Shit! The task!” he said rubbing his hand through his hair. It was possible he was the most useless saboteur in the world. He hadn’t done anything to stop it going ahead, and then he’d slept half the day away. “How's it going?”

“Depends which way you look at it, I suppose,” Ben replied with a smirk, rolling his eyes with his obvious disdain for the challenge. “It's all getting very exciting; Kat broke a nail which caused a five minute delay. We’re all on tenterhooks out there!”

Callum didn't waste any more time and scurried into the lounge to see what was going on with the task. He could see most of the housemates were gathered on the sofa, offering words of support to Kat who was trying her best to keep the bead in the tweezers and put it in the correct pot.

“There he is!” Isaac said, leaping up from the couch and almost knocking Kat’s arm on the way. She gave a loud tut in return, before happily putting a blue bead in the jar. “My belly feels like my throat’s been slashed; I'm starving for some food here and all Habs could suggest was making an apple salad.”

Callum gave a smile of acknowledgement back and headed towards the kitchen, but all his attention was on the activity in the lounge as he grabbed some food from the fridge. He tried to remember where the beads were when he left Ben the night before, and glanced at each jar to see progress they'd made. They had done quite well but it was clear that most of the beads has been put in within the first hours of the task before everyone else went to bed.

_“This is Big Brother. This week’s nominations will begin shortly.”_

Everyone stopped what they were doing. Even Kat dropped the tweezers when they heard the announcement, and no one was in any hurry to remind her to keep going. It was almost like they had forgotten that this was part of the show. Almost forgotten that at the end of the week, one of them would be gone. Almost forgotten that they would be forced to betray those people they had began to know and befriend.

Kush gave Kat a little tap on her arm, a gentle reminder to keep going with the task. It was clear what was now in the forefront of everyone’s mind though, and it wasn't long before they heard the ominous voice again.

_“This is Big Brother. Would Ash please come to the diary room.”_

They were obviously going in alphabetical order, and Callum's eyes darted from housemate to housemate, thinking about the sequence they would be entering in. There was worry in all their eyes, but Callum knew it was different for him. It didn’t matter or make any difference what they said about him in there. If he managed to sabotage the task and they won the luxury shopping basket, then he would be immune from this week’s nominations, and it didn't matter if everyone voted for him; he wouldn't be up for eviction. However, if he didn't manage his part in the task and they got all the beads in the jars, then he would be up for the chop no matter what, even If no one voted for him. Although by the glare that Dotty sent his way, there was no way his name wouldn’t be on at least one set of lips. 

Ash wasn't in the diary room for too much time, not as long as he thought she might be considering her ambivalence to most occasions and situations that occurred. Her ambiguous nature was clearly not that much of a problem when it came time to try and throw a few people out of the house. She evidently had people set out in her mind and had no problem giving the reasons. 

_“This is Big Brother. Would Ben please come to the diary room.”_

Ben didn't say a word as he swaggered towards the far end of the house but Pixar followed him all the way there as he hit the doorbell with a thud, though the door was clearly unlocked for him. The little camera didn't do that with Ash. Maybe Pixar had secret favourites, or maybe his eyes were drawn to the man as much as Callum’s were. Maybe they were both reluctant to admit that realisation.

If Ash had only taken a short time with her nominations, then whatever Ben had to say was at hyper speed in comparison. He was barely in there a few minutes, before he came storming out the door with the same vigour he entered with. Whatever he needed to say it would have been swift, clear and deadly.

Callum couldn't help but notice the quick glance he was given on the way out the diary room, and it stopped his heart. Why would Ben look at him then, right after he nominated? Unless Callum’s name had just passed his lips. It couldn't stop him thinking that maybe he was right all along and Ben was just trying to play him. He was trying to unnerve him and noticed him as the weakest in the pack, and had just been trying to pick him off this past week.

_“This is Big Brother. Would Callum come to the diary room.”_

He put down the utensils he was tidying away in the kitchen and nervously wiped his palms on his jeans, before making the seemingly long walk to the door. Callum was wary of everyone's eyes on him including Pixar, who was slowly chirping and cheering him on. Or giving him a warning about who to nominate, trying to influence his vote.

Callum pushed open the door, the quiet chat of the house disappearing behind him as he perched on the chair, leaning forward and resting his arms on his legs. “Hi ya!” he called out, trying to seem natural, as if he wasn’t just about to bad mouth people behind their backs.

_“Good morning, Callum. Could you please give me the name of your first nomination, and the reason for this nomination.”_

It wasn't as though Callum hadn't thought this through. It was one of the things he hadn’t stopped thinking about. Anyone out there would be lying if they said it hadn't crossed their minds. He'd seen the show before, he knew how ridiculous it looked when people went to the diary room to nominate with uncertainty and hesitation. They tried to suggest that it was the first time it had entered their head. Callum’s first nomination was easy, anyway.

“My first nomination is for Dotty,” he said, pleased that his voice came out strongly through his tone. The young woman had been continually isolating him for some reason, and he knew that had to be noticed. “She is obviously a girl who has strong ideas, and I respect that, but she takes a little too much leadership of the house. She doesn’t do it nicely, but is a bit rude with it and the attitude she gives isn't respectful to those around her.”

He hesitated a little, wondering how much to share with the audience, wondering how much to share with Big Brother. If he didn’t say enough then they would ask for more details, suggesting he wasn’t being frank with his nominations. “I think she's targeting me a little; I don't know why! I'm hardly a threat to her! I'm hardly a threat to anyone, but something about me seems to rub her up the wrong way.”

There was a pause and silence and Callum wondered if Big Brother wanted more from him, wondered if he'd said enough and whether it was biting and provocative enough for the audience.

_“Thank you, Callum. Would you now please give the name of your second nomination, and your reason for this nomination.”_

He couldn't get the words out. In truth, for this one he had several names that had been racing around his head. Steve’s snoring was a pain, and he was tricky to live with, there was no doubt in that, but at heart he was a good man. Callum knew he could count on him if he needed to. Then there was Vinny, who seemed to be Dotty’s little lap dog running around after her all day, but when you got him by himself, he wasn't that bad to talk to. A little too self-involved perhaps, but he seemed friendly enough. The other housemates he had got along with really well so far, although he sometimes noticed Isaac could be a little temperamental with him, but in truth, the man was like that with everyone.

The last name that he kept coming back to was the one he had to pick, the one he had to get away from here, the one he had to get out of this house and the one he had to get out of his head. “My next nomination is for Ben,” he heard his voice say, as if it were separated from his body. There was a tremble, there was doubt, and he knew it could be heard. He knew that this might not be the right thing to do. But it is what he needed to do. “He's quite lazy. He doesn't do a lot around the house and won't volunteer for any of the jobs that come up.”

There was that silence again, and Callum hoped that meant they had accepted his nomination and he could leave.

_“Callum, you're reminded that all nominations need to be full and frank reasons. Could you please expand on why you want to nominate Ben?”_

What was he meant to say? That he was spending too much time looking at him? That he couldn't be around him without his heart speeding up? That he was fascinated by him and he knew it was going to start to show eventually? He knew that even he could only escape those traps for so long. He had nowhere to run to.

And then there was the other reason. The one that came from his hurt pride and paranoid suspicion. It may just be that Ben thought about him negatively already, and had chosen to nominate him. He might just see Callum as a ridiculous pawn in his game, and he hated the thought of that. Ben was the one person in this house that Callum didn’t want thinking he was stupid.

“He stays in bed too long and it's not good to have someone away from everyone else for so long. Not only that, but when he is about, he causes arguments and it's not good for the house,” Callum continued, before hesitating once more. He didn't want to have to play this card but he needed Ben away from him. He wasn't part of the plan. And if Callum had to stay, if there was no way out for him, then Ben really couldn't. “And then there was the game other night where we found out something about him. It makes me question his loyalty to the housemates, and I don't think that sort of person should be in this house.”

He hated himself. He wondered what Big Brother thought about his statement, and what everyone watching thought about his comments. It didn’t matter though; if they thought he was being unkind and mean spirited with his nomination reasons, then that was fine. At least they wouldn’t know the truth. At least they wouldn’t guess what he was really starting to feel.

_“Thank you, Callum. You may now leave the Diary Room.”_

When Callum left, he expected to find the same quiet and focused atmosphere as before he had gone in to give his nominations. He expected one of the housemates to be diligently moving the beads across, while a few others supported and cheered them on, and the rest just sat lazily around enjoying the peace of the day.

What he didn’t expect was the shouting, the bellowing and that almighty argument that had started to play out in the lounge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
> 
> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx


	5. Week One (Part 3)

**Day Five (continued)**

“Are you really going to sit there and say I didn't get a lot done in my two hours! You, Steve and Callum put barely any beads in the jar!” Dottie shouted out, waving the tweezers in Ben’s direction, as though she were ready to pluck his eyes out at any second. Callum had just left the diary room after nominating, and it seems there were a few disagreements about the task in his absence. “What exactly were you three doing all night?”

“Excuse me! I was the one that didn't want to do the shift in the night anyway!” Ben scoffed back, arms folded defensively. “All I said was, we don't have to use the tweezers, and suggested you try using your hands!”

“Are you thick, or something?” Dotty answered back, looking around her for back up. Everyone else seemed quiet though. They weren’t about to throw themselves in the middle of a storm. “We have to use the tweezers to move the beads! It’s in the instructions! It wouldn't be a hard task if we could use our hands, would it?”

There was a mumble of agreement among the other housemates. All except Callum. He knew what was really supposed to make this task challenging; a covert, inconspicuous operative wrecking their attempts at every move. Unfortunately, Big Brother had cast him as the saboteur, so he could see their confusion. He was so wary about getting caught doing something to vandalise the task, that he hadn’t ended up doing anything. To be honest, he was just thankful this argument was wasting bead moving time.

“That's cause you didn't listen to the rules properly!” Ben said, thrusting his arm towards the jars with vigour, and a flair of annoyance. “We don't have to use the tweezers, all we have to do is make sure there's five thousand beads in each jar. I reckon we’ve got a good ten thousand out so far, so there’s roughly ninety thousand left in the main container. We only need less than two thousand more of each colour in the jars! If we even need to separate them into colours! Am I the only one doing the maths here?”

The silence that followed should have been an indication of the hurricane that was about to happen. Before anyone could stop him, Ben grabbed the main container and quickly and equally emptied it out into the three individual jars.

Jaws dropped open as everyone stilled. They looked afraid to move, as if that would then make the action real. Ben threw the main container on the floor and then dropped back on his chair, arm resting on the back, and his face open to attack. He was waiting for someone to attack.

It didn't take long. “What have you done?” Dotty asked. Even she was stunned by the action, her tone almost frightful, more shocked than he had heard it since they arrived in the house.

“Mate,” Vinny drooled out, as if words were failing him right now, and could only slide slowly from his mouth. He just gripped his headphones tight around his neck as though they were some magical time travel source that could get them out of this mess. It appeared to be the only thing he could say. He opened his mouth again. “Mate.”

“You're a nutter!” Kat screeched out across the room. “I mean I like you, but you are great a big fruit cake, darlin’.”

“Well, it has been said before,” Ben replied, his eyes darting to Callum almost like he wanted to see his response. He couldn't move; he was just staring at the scene before him, the three containers all filled up to the brim with different colour beads. There would be no way they could restart this task and hope to get it done by tomorrow morning. They were over halfway through already and they still had a good way to reach their target even before Ben’s outburst.

“What are we going to do now?” Habiba remarked, picking up the tweezers and holding them at arm’s length from her as she turned up her nose at them, like they were some stinking dead rodent. “We can't leave it like this, can we? Maybe if we’re quick and get them back in the main jars quickly then Big Brother won't notice.”

“Not notice?” Isaac responded open mouthed to the girl next to him. “There are a hundred different cameras looking towards us right now with a whole production team watching us. Unless zombies have attacked the crew, in which case we've got bigger problems, I think they would have picked up on the fact there's thousands of beads in the wrong jar!”

Ash held her hands up. “Let's all remain calm, yeah?” she remarked, although her eyes gave off the appearance of someone whose head was firmly in the jaws of a lion’s mouth. “We should all remain quiet and think about what the best thing is to do.”

“The best thing to do would be to chuck this one out the house!” Dotty stated, pointing towards Ben.

Ben just tutted back a few times with a smirk on his face. “Now, now,” he said with a grin. “You know you can't be talking about nominations. That's against the rules, Dotty.”

“I didn't mean nominations, did I?” she replied loudly, making sure the microphones could hear her. “I personally think we should make you sleep outside in the garden for what you've just done, shackled to the shed! Wouldn't be the first time you been locked up, would it? Is that why you don't have any pictures of family around your bed? They’re all ashamed of what you've done, I bet! I ain't surprised with how you just acted.”

Callum didn't think he’d ever seen Ben move so fast but he was up out the chair like a shuttle moving towards the table that separated him and Dotty. He pointed his finger at her and there was clear pain and anger in his eyes and his jaw was tense. There had been no temper in his actions with the beads. Now though, he was furious.

“I know what your fucking game is! I know what you're trying to do, so don't think about coming for me, cause you will regret it darlin’! Trust me, you don't know what I'm capable of!” he said, baring his teeth and getting close to Dotty’s face.

Callum could hear his breathing, the thickness of the air in the room, as he didn't know what was going to happen next or how far Ben would go. Pixar had seemed to sink down, the fighting and shouting scaring him back into the wall. Callum wasn't scared though, not of Ben. Not in that way. He could see through that now. He could see what he was hiding.

_“This is Big Brother. Will Ben please come to the diary room immediately.”_

Everyone in the room seemed to be relieved, apart from Ben who swaggered angrily towards the diary room door, pulling it open with force, allowing the surface to make a cracking sound as the handle hit the back of the stairs.

“Do you think they'll chuck him out?” Habiba asked, still holding the tweezers as if they were a ticking bomb about to explode any second.

“No,” Kush replied, putting his arm around Kat to comfort her as she was taking in the sight of the beads around her that she had just spent two hours sorting. “They'll probably just give him a few minutes to calm down a bit.”

“Right,” Steve said, clapping his hands together as if he were a scout master about to traipse his troop through woods that were swimming with bears. “Let's get started shall we? Kush, you empty all the beads back into the main bowl and we'll get going again. Only fifteen thousand to go!”

It must have been half an hour later when Ben came out the diary room, his face soft and his eyes down, hands stuck in his pockets as he walked to the sofa. He ignored everyone else, just picked up the Welcome Pack that contained the house rules, and started to read, as one by one the rest the housemates were called to nominate.

Callum felt everything twist inside. He was happy that there wasn't a hamster’s chance in a hornet’s nest that they were going to pass this task. However, he felt guilty Ben was taking all the responsibility for it when he had been hoping that something like this would happen. Something bold and dramatic was what he should have been doing. Though he doubted he would have had the guts to go through with it. It seems that he was the only one that had been paying attention to what Ben had been saying though, before he moved all the beads. Callum knew he was right, and he also knew that whatever Ben said they wouldn’t listen to. It puzzled him though, because Ben knew that too.

Now, it had been decided that Kush, Ash and Isaac were to put in two hour shifts each for the remainder of the task, working in rotation. They had been the quickest and most productive previously, and were now worryingly crashing through getting the beads back in the right jars during their individual turns. They were working full out and Callum began to worry again.

The next time he looked up at the jars anxiously, he caught Ben’s eye. He was gazing up at him as his nose was hidden in the binder, still reading his way through the welcome pack; that was his punishment and warning for his outburst earlier. It almost looked like he was offering an apology, or an explanation. But with the nominations earlier, Callum was the one that should have all the guilt.

It was plaguing him now, despite Ben seemingly messing up the task on purpose. Despite the angry outburst and belligerent behaviour, Callum was in two minds with what he wanted to happen. He needed him gone. He wanted him to stay. Needed him gone. Wanted him to stay.

Go.

Stay.

His mind kept flicking through the two, like a tossed coin up in the air. He was just waiting for it to land.

** Day Six **

When Callum awoke early the next morning and went to lounge, he was horrified at the site before him. The bead jars were getting fuller and fuller, and it looked like they were close to reaching the five thousand target for each one. Panic shot through his body and filled him with dread at the realisation that he was going to fail. Everyone always thought he was a failure, and he was now proving them right on national television.

All those millions of people watching must think he was an absolute turkey’s arse. He hadn't done anything to sabotage the task apart from a slow two hour shift, and frankly he thought Steve probably put less in the jars than he had. Big Brother had called him in last night and asked him whether he thought he was able to win them the luxury shopping budget and he had been upbeat about their chances due to Ben’s behaviour. In reality, they must have been calling him in so they could stare open mouthed at what might possibly be the most pathetic attempt at an individual task in the show’s twenty year history.

Now though, he really couldn’t be accused of being optimistic about their chances. They only had a few more hours to go, and by the speed that Kush was now transferring blue beads into the jar, it looked like they were going to do it. He looked to Pixar for help, but the little chap just chattered back as he diverted his gaze away from Callum. It was like he was congratulating him on his effort, but looking away before his face could give away how pathetic he found him.

It was even worse a few hours later, as Isaac was now battling through and getting a large amount of red into the jar. By the looks of it, the blue and the green had the right amount in them, and it was only the last colour to go. They only had one hour left; Callum had to act now before it was too late.

All the housemates were sitting in the lounge area, and were so caught up and excited about the prospect of seemingly passing their task, that they didn't seem to notice Callum’s pacing of despair in the kitchen. He wondered if they still wouldn’t pay him any of their attention once he started hyperventilating and rocking in the corner. He wasn’t far off that point.

In just an hours time, he would be blamed for them receiving a limited amount of shopping for the next week. At least he'd be up for eviction and be out the house in a few days. But he'd have to spend those few days knowing that he had left people in here without much food. They’d be disappointed in him. That was Callum all over, leaving a trail of people disappointed in his wake.

Kat and Kush were huddled on one chair watching eagerly as the beads were building higher and higher. Ben was lounging back on the sofa, legs stretched in front of him. He didn't look particularly excited about their potential victory but he had been quiet the rest of yesterday and this morning, and kept to himself. Vinny, Ash and Dotty were cheering on Isaac, keeping up his spirits as he powered through the beads.

In hindsight, it all seemed to happen so quickly. Callum couldn’t even tell you the clear chain of events that led to the incident. All he remembered was hearing Steve fluster as his arm was knocked, his cup of tea swelling over the mug he was holding and slopping with a splash onto the floor, covering both his and Ben’s shoes.

Ben swore as the liquid coated his boots, and as Callum was tapping his hands on the kitchen counter, with some small hope the light vibration would cause a hundred thousand beads to explode, he vaguely heard Steve apologise. “Don't worry mate,” he heard Ben reply faintly. “Callum, chuck Steve over a cloth, will you?”

While still thinking about the chances of an earthquake occurring in Southern England, Callum reached over to the side, grabbing a tea towel, and balling it up slightly, ready to throw towards the sofa. Then he noticed it.

Ben was looking at him eyes wide and brows raised until he knew he had caught Callum’s attention. He quickly and noticeably darted his eyes towards the jars, before giving a wink back in Callum’s direction. There wasn’t any time to think, and for the first time in six days Callum’s mind suddenly let his reflexes and instincts take over. His hands screwed up the tea towel in as tight a ball as possible, before he hurled it hard towards the containers.

It would never have been an easy catch for Steve, it was well out of his reach from where he was standing by the sofa. In typical fashion though, he gave it his best try, and it may have even swiped his fingers had his feet not suddenly and unexpectedly buckled beneath him. Instead of only missing the cloth, he fell heavily into the coffee table, all three jars crashing and bouncing off the surface as the beads spun and scattered loudly around the room.

It could have almost been comical, the sight that was before Callum now in the lounge. Isaac was still sitting, carefully holding the tweezers containing a red bead, poised to deposit it in a jar. Steve was trying desperately to scramble up, but the spilt tea mixed with the beads was now giving him an appearance of a moose trying to roller-skate, as his feet skid and slipped on the floor. Habiba was looking above her, as though Big Brother had just dropped some invisible explosive onto the table, and Kat was fishing beads out from her top. It was like the apocalypse had just hit the house, and soon the fall out would follow.

There was a litany of curses that hit the room suddenly, as the awareness of what had happened became abundantly clear. Steve was apologising loudly and profusely, now safely back on his feet and wringing the tea towel nervously in his hands.

“The fuck?” Vinney offered, clinging on to his headphones for comfort, before hitting his hand on the arm of the sofa harshly with frustration. “What the fuck are we supposed to do now? How did that happen?”

“I'll tell you how it happened. He sabotaged the task! Again!” Dotty replied, pointing towards Ben as she stood up. It was just speculation on her part, Callum knew she wasn’t looking when Steve came crashing down. It just seemed like she would have blamed Ben no matter what. If a herd of cows had come in and trod their hooves over the coffee table, as they scowled at the housemates in disdain and lapped up every bead, then it would have been Ben’s fault for complaining yesterday that anything other than dairy milk tasted like elves’ piss. “It’s the same as yesterday! He's willing to go without food just to make the rest of us suffer!”

Steve held his hands up, flinging the cloth over his shoulder. His cheeks were pink, he was covered in drink and was huffing and puffing like he has just run a marathon. “I'm so sorry everyone, this is all my fault! I just seem to have lost my balance and ruined everything,” Steve said, a choke appearing in his voice that was heavy with disappointment. For Callum, it was the final straw when the detective moved his hand up to rub the tear that was appearing in his eye.

“Nah, mate,” Callum said, finally speaking up and walking around into the disaster that was the lounge area. “It was all me. That was an awful pass of that cloth. I just weren’t looking where I was throwing properly.”

“Can we please stop with the Spartacus act, yeah?” Kush said with a sigh and a shake of his head. “It’s done now! We tried, we failed and we’re going to have to live with it.”

Ben gave a laugh. “Ain’t exactly ‘Veni, Vidi, Vici’ levels as inspiring speeches go, is it?”

“Were they in Abba?” Habbiba cut in, pulling beads out of her hair.

“Well, one of us won’t have to live with it!” Dotty implied, scowling towards Ben.

He waved her inference away with the shake of his hand. “Oh just piss off! It’ll be a blessing not have to see your fucking face every day!”

_“This is Big Brother. Would Ben come to the diary room immediately.”_

He let out an exaggerated sigh. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll just bring it with me this time, shall I?” he responded, dramatically holding up the house rules and waving them in Pixar’s face as he passed, the little camera just whirring back in acknowledgement. “Save me having to sit out here with you lot when I have to read through them again.”

As most of the housemates left the lounge, unable to even look at the state of the fallen jars, and scattered beads, Callum clapped Steve consolingly on the shoulder. He was looking down on the floor, as if he was expecting to find the large crocodile that had gripped at his ankle and caused him to go clattering into the table. They had certainly failed, that much was sure. Now the only thing to do was to wait for Callum’s role in it to be revealed.

A few hours later, Big Brother called them all to the lounge. Callum sat next to Steve nervously, knowing his part in making the older man feel responsible for the task earlier, and feeling the huge weight of remorse about it. Steve had been low in spirits since that moment, only managing a smile here and there that didn’t travel to his eyes. He went outside to spend some time alone with the chickens, but he ended up getting his shoe caught in some wire and Kush had to free him while a rebel bird tried to nest on the policeman’s chest.

_“This is Big Brother. The results of this week’s shopping tasks are as follows.”_

Everyone looked down, their faces dejected, assuming they knew the result and preparing themselves for a week of hunger.

_“Housemates had forty eight hours to transfer five thousand beads into each of the three separate jars. At the end of the forty eight hours, housemates only had forty five beads in the red jar, one hundred and eighteen beads in the blue jar and sixteen beads in the green jar. Therefore they did not meet this requirement. However-“_

Callum gulped his heart racing in his chest. This was it. This is where they would find out he was a liar.

_“During the task, the housemates did meet the requirement. On Day Five at twelve sixteen pm, Ben transferred over five thousand beads into each jar, meeting the criteria. However, as other housemates started to transfer and move the beads less than two hours later, before Ben had completed the minimum time required for a shift, this attempt was null and void.”_

“What does that mean?” Isaac asked. “He chucked all the beads in mixed up and didn’t use the tweezers! How could that have passed the task!”

“You didn’t have to use the tweezers!” Ben said, with a shake of his head. “All the rules said was that they were giving us tweezers! They never said we had to use them! It never said we had to separate the colours either. I did tell you!”

“Well that’s the thing with liars,” Dotty spat out. “You can’t trust a thing that come out their mouths. We all just presumed you were trying to trick us, as normal!”

“Yeah,” Ben replied with a victorious smirk. “I thought you might.”

_“However-“_

The housemates all sat up as Big Brother repeated the word, deludingly hopeful that perhaps their one hundred and seventy nine final total of beads was enough for them to throw an extra few quid onto the shopping budget.

_“That was not the real task. One housemate was given the secret mission to sabotage the challenge and ensure the house did not complete the bead requirements. If they managed to do this, then they would receive immunity from nominations this week. Would Ash please collect the whiteboards and pens from the Diary Room.”_

As the young doctor jogged to retrieve the items, the housemates looked suspiciously round at each other, wondering who the culprit was amongst them. Callum joined in, gazing across at each of his housemates so he didn’t stand out. He wasn’t sure if he managed it; he felt sure that if he looked up Big Brother would have put a huge neon blinking arrow over his head.

“Well this ain’t exactly rocket science is it,” Isaac commented, as he was handed a pen. “I’m guessing we have to write Ben’s name down and guess he was the culprit to win the shopping budget.”

Ben folded his arms and cocked his head at the man. “Awfully quick to accuse me, aren’t you, mate?” he said. “Got something to hide?”

“I don’t mean to be cruel, darlin’, but you weren’t exactly subtle about it were you?” Kat remarked, pulling the lid off her pen with her teeth. “I’ve had genital warts that have been more discreet.”

“What can I say, go big or go home!” Ben replied with a smile.

Dotty was looking at him suspiciously though, and she put her pen down. “Unless it weren’t you,” she said with a snide lip. “Maybe you’re just a dick who likes trashing things. Maybe it was someone else.”

The whole group looked around, as if the real culprit was about to stand up and deliver a confession monologue worthy of an Agatha Christie novel. It was all silent, apart from Callum’s heart which pulled on some abseiling gear and was now slowly descending its way down to his stomach with a roar.

“Well, I suppose both Callum and Steve were responsible for causing the accident at the end,” Ash said, looking towards both men with suspicion and sympathy, like she was a vet who was giving them a pat on the head before putting them to sleep.

Isaac gave a humourless laugh. “What Tweedledum and Tweedledee? Those two who could barely put a handful of beads in the jar between them! There’s more chance of that stupid poxy little camera being guilty than those two. No offence guys!”

Both Callum and Pixar silently glared. This was the first fleeting moment that Callum was glad it was him, happy about the fact that in a few minutes the man would be eating his words. Isaac didn’t know him, and Callum didn’t want him to.

_“This is Big Brother Brother. Could housemates please now write the name of the person they believe was given the secret task.”_

Callum took off his pen lid, and started to write the letters on his board, as it squeaked slightly at the pressure. There was a huge level of guilt that ran through him. He’d already nominated Ben, and now he was accusing him of an act where he was the culprit. He knew that most of the other housemates would vote for Ben though, and he had to do all he could to win the budget.

Big Brother asked them to raise their boards and call out the name of the person they had voted for. Ben was written on most of them, the man himself writing something different on his own board. In big letters he had written Dotty’s name, and decorated the outside with pictures of dicks. The only other exception was Steve, who had written his own name.

“You were on a secret task, mate?” Kush asked the policeman in a whisper.

Steve simply shook his head. “No, but it’s my fault all the beads were scattered.”

Callum wasn’t quite sure Steve understood that it had been sabotage, that it was someone’s mission to mess up the task. The detective seemed to feel more deeply about it than anyone else. Either way Callum gave a sigh of relief that no one had picked him, as Big Brother announced the result.

_“The housemate receiving the most votes was Ben. This is incorrect. The housemate on a secret task and immune from nominations this week was Callum.”_

Everyone was looking at him. Everyone. There was no hope of escaping the glares of his housemates. They were not happy. He just hoped Big Brother would hurry up and let them know the other result of the task.

“It was you?” Vinney remarked. “I thought you were a half decent guy, but you put your own immunity before the rest of the house. We’ve got to live on crap because of you!”

“The only reason you ain’t been eating dry toast for the past few days is because of him!” Ben snapped back. “Don’t make out you’d do any different. You’d drown your own grandmother in those beads if it got you to stay another week.”

“So mucking up the task, you didn’t do that because you were on some secret mission?” Dotty responded back to him. “You are actually that selfish. That’s why you did it?”

“Yeah that’s why I did it,” Ben said, glaring at her. “What other reason could I possibly have?”

Kush cleared his throat a little, and Callum knew he was about to get a serious talking to. It may have only been a few days, but he could tell when the man was about to say something serious. “I can’t say I’m not a little disappointed, mate,” he said, turning towards Callum. He felt like he was a child being told off by his teddy bear for leaving him on a bench in the park. “I thought you were an honest guy. I know it was a secret task, but to put yourself above us all of us eating. I guess I just thought you’d be one of those people who wouldn’t do that.”

_“This is Big Brother. As the housemates did not correctly guess that it was Callum who was on the secret mission, he has passed his task, and as a result, housemates have won their luxury shopping budget.”_

There was whoops and cheers that went out around them room, Ben smiled in his direction, just briefly, just quickly, before he went back to turning the ‘o’ in Dotty’s name on his whiteboard into an arsehole. Kush came over and gave him a huge hug. “Mate, I’m so sorry for doubting you!” he said, clapping him on the back. “I just hope you can forgive me.”

Callum received several other handshakes and hugs over the next couple of minutes. The house were all so happy about the fact they were getting a huge budget, and were already starting to think of all the items they would order.

_“This is Big Brother-“_

They all stilled, half expecting the budget to be taken away, and looked towards Ben, as if he had done something in the last ten seconds to make that possible. Then, all the black panels that surrounding the television on the wall started lighting up. One by one, each of their photographs appeared, smiling out back at them. Callum knew what was about to happen next.

_“The housemates up for eviction this week, are-“_

They all sat back down, their mood dropping considerably. They knew Callum was out of the running and immune. Anyone that had nominated him had essentially wasted their vote, and he could definitely see a few worried faces around the room as they realised their odds for being up for eviction had shortened.

_“-in no particular order…Ben.”_

He merely gave a shrug, and Callum ducked his head down. He had made a mistake. He wasn’t sure how or why, but for some reason Ben had helped him with that task. He had distracted the others and sabotaged it, so Callum could win. It was probably so they could get the luxury shopping budget. That would be the obvious reason.

_“-and Dotty.”_

There were audible gasps, and the young woman herself looked furious. There were a large amount of worried faces, perhaps a few that had voted for her and scared she may find out. “Thanks everyone,” she gritted out. “I guess we’ll find out who the snakes are at some point. Word of warning; if you shoot at the Queen you better make sure you hit.”

“Funny, that’s what I usually say when I’m on my knees on a Saturday night,” Ben remarked, and his disposition seemed to have cheered up considerably at the latest nomination. “Word of warning back, love; sometimes you just don’t see it coming.”

_“-and Steve.”_

There wasn’t much surprise over the last nominated housemate, but Callum hated the way the man’s face fell even further. It hadn’t been a very good week for Steve. He just patted him on the shoulder and received a half hearted smile in return. This was all Callum’s fault; he’d essentially broken the man that had come in here and all he’d wanted was friendship. Somehow, in less than a week he’d destroyed the spirit of the man who was so happy to be here. It was like taking a toy away from a golden retriever. And then hurling the dog off a cliff.

The housemates all sat quietly for a few seconds, waiting to see if Big Brother would announce any more nominations. Ben, Dotty and Steve’s pictures on the wall were now lit in yellow, a warning that their time may be almost done. It was clear after a moment that they had finished all they had to say and everyone was free to leave the sofas. Each one in turn got up and left the area, giving Ben a glance as they went. It was clear to see who the favourite was to leave at the end of the week.

** Day Seven **

After the revelations of the previous day, it was a quiet morning in the house. The sun was high up in the sky, beating down in pulses amongst its blue background. A few of them had been splashing around in the pool, or lazing on the grass, just soaking up the summer rays.

When Big Brother asked one housemate to come to the diary room, a few of them looked up with mild interest but generally most of them were relaxed and calm with anything that may bring. The majority of them weren’t up for eviction and they knew they had food for the next week. Life was good and settled for them. Callum wondered how long Big Brother would let that last.

Ash returned with a large blackboard and a huge binder, heaving it out of the diary room, and placing it on the dining room table. Everyone was off like a rocket, scrambling around into the house and picking up the large folder that contained the shopping list. There were shouts and snatching as everyone started to give their opinion, and wanted to make their food requests. At one point, Vinney nudged Habiba out the way so hard that her sunglasses went flying off her head, snapping in two. She spent the next few minutes threating all the different ways she was going to break his headphones before scrambling through the shopping file, until Ash gently let her know that they probably didn’t sell Chanel sunglasses at Tesco.

“We want at least twenty avocados,” Dotty insisted, starting to write the order on the board, the chalk grating out in a scratch and a screech.

“That’s almost a score out our budget!” Kat replied, frowning as she saw the price, and then taking the chalk out of the younger woman’s hand. “What do we need all them for? We ain’t pitching up a taco stand! We want more basic fruit and veg that will go further. We might have a bit of cash, but we want to make it go as far as we can.”

Dotty grabbed the chalk back. “You’ve got meat on there! I’m entitled to have something I can eat as well!” she replied. “I need to do my own food, don’t I?”

“To be fair, you have already got all your vegan alternatives,” Kush replied cautiously. “I know we can all eat them, but it does mean we’re buying two of most things. We want to stock up on toiletries, and things we might need in the weeks we don’t win the task. Do you really need twenty avocados for a week?”

“Considering you might not even be here, they’ll probably end up being made into face masks by Habs,” Ben called over from the stairs. “No skin off my nose, my T-zone is feeling a little oily.”

Callum has enough. They only had an hour to write their list on the board, and if it wasn’t accurate or things weren’t on there, then they wouldn’t receive them. At the moment going by the board, all they were going to have to eat for the next week were the much maligned avocados and some superglue.

“Right, everyone outside!” Callum called out, and they all stopped, looking at him wide eyed. “There’s no good us all fighting over this, we’re going to run out of time. If I’m cooking the meals, then I know what we’ll need, yeah? I’ll get all that done, and then I’ll come around to everyone and ask what luxuries you want. Let’s say a tenner each, yeah?”

“That does sound the most sensible thing,” Ash replied, and it seemed that everyone fell in line, once she agreed. “You know that he’ll do a vegan alternative as well, don’t you Dotty?”

She was backed into a corner now and couldn’t really object to the rational suggestion. She threw the chalk down and stomped off outside as the rest of the housemates began to disperse. All except Ben, who continued to just sit on the steps and watch as Callum pulled the blackboard off the table, leaning it up against the chair and aiming it so Pixar could see.

Once he had scrawled down everything they would need for their meals, he went around and quickly checked what everyone wanted for their luxuries. There were a few unusual requests, Isaac’s one of three packets of fish fingers and a bag of potato smiley faces he did raise an eyebrow or two, but he managed to get them all done and on the board.

There was only ten minutes left, and Callum still needed to add everything up to make sure they hadn’t gone over or under the budget. It may be that they had enough to add a few more items, or if they were drastically over he needed to choose what to remove rather than have Big Brother do it for them. He had been roughly adding as he went, but he was aware that it could be significantly off when rounding up or down. Callum didn’t really want to call outside and get help, not now he had sent them away, and he feared they would all come charging in and start arguing about the ingredients he had put on the board.

There was only one choice, one that was calling to him, and he decided to take it. “Ben, can you come and help me add this lot up, please?” he yelled out.

There was no movement or response at first, Ben just seemed to be thinking over the question. Then he pushed himself up off the steps and wandered over, sitting next to Callum where he was perched on the floor, only Pixar between them.

“Top or bottom?” Callum asked, passing him a piece of chalk.

Ben face immediately changed, and he grinned back at him. “Excuse me?”

Callum just started to rub at a stray mark of chalk at the base of the board. “Do you want to add up from the top or start working from the bottom?” he replied, and he almost wanted to cover Pixar’s ears.

“I’ll be the bottom,” Ben replied, still smirking as his eyes started twinkling. Callum liked it when he smiled. He liked it a lot.

They both started to add up the amounts, using the small working out space. “You seem to have got all your troops under control quickly. I think you gave them all a shock. Once a soldier, always a soldier, eh?”

“You haven’t given told me what you want for your luxury items yet,” he said, wanting to change the topic.

Ben tapped the chalk on his chin, as if he were seriously considering all his options. “Hmm, how about something tall, dark and handsome with a nine inch cock?”

Callum would definitely have to cover Pixar’s ears after that as the little guy flustered a little between them, clearly wanting to get away, but not having feet or legs proved an issue there. “I’m serious, Ben. You’ve got a tenner, what do you want?”

“Only a tenner?” he replied with a mock sigh, and Callum could see a small flutter of chalk left by his chin. It just needed a small brush away to make it disappear. Just a little swipe of his finger would do it. “I’ll have to just settle for a six incher then, won’t I? I’ll tell you what, get one sent in wearing an edible liquorice posing pouch and I’ll make do.”

“Ben!” Callum replied, both he and Pixar terrified of the idea that there would be some tanned, ripped randomer delivered in a Tesco bag for life, that would then start waving his wang about and taking housemates’ eyes out left, right, and centre. “Do you want something or not?”

Ben just gave a shrug. “Just get us some bags of salt and vinegar crisps.”

Callum sighed. “Right well that’s a quid’s worth, just nine pound to go,” he replied, a hint of frustration in his tone. The clock was ticking and he needed to get this shopping list done, especially after ensuring the other housemates he could complete it by himself. “Can’t you just try and help for once?”

Ben put down the chalk so harshly that it snapped into two pieces clean on the floor. “What are you, Callum?” he asked, his expression challenging now. There was still a little resentment there, something that Callum didn’t understand, but knew it was to do with the task. “Housemate, chef, soldier, loving fiancé, everyone’s mate! Which one are you? Which one is your real face?”

Callum didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t know himself which one he fit into, which one he really was.

_“This is Big Brother. Would one housemate please bring the blackboard to the Diary Room.”_

“Saved by the bell,” Ben said with a roll of his eyes, before getting up and walking outside.

Callum walked into the diary room, swallowing thickly so he could read the list properly without the question Ben asked getting stuck into his throat. He felt guilty, these pin sharp bites attacking his heart, for how he had treated Ben. He had upset him, and that gnawed at his insides, grinding and chewing roughly. The only thing he wanted to do was make it up to him.

Before Callum started to read out the list, he quickly searched up the price of an item in the booklet, rubbing out a few avocados and adding something on to the bottom of the list.

Later that evening, Big Brother sent all their shopping into the storeroom, as well as a good supply of beer and wine to commemorate their final night all together. There was excitement over the restocked larder, and Callum didn’t think anyone could get as thrilled about cheese as Habiba did when she hugged the packet of cheddar and started kissing it, leaving large lipstick marks over the label. Even Ash raised a smile at the large amount of coffee that was lined up on the shelves.

Callum browsed through the storeroom, lifting up a few things until he found what he was looking for with a smile. He grabbed the packet and strolled over to the dining room table where Ben was sitting and chatting with Kat. He threw down the item in front of him.

Ben looked at Callum blankly for a second, still a swirl of hurt glazing his eyes before flicking his gaze down for a moment, reading the label on the packet. For a second, Callum thought he was going to stay scowling, but his face soon broke into a huge smile as he held the item up with a laugh.

“Liquorice?” Kat said, furrowing her eyebrows as she looked at the packet. “That all you asked for on your luxury budget?”

Callum gave Ben a quick grin, before turning around as he made his way back to the kitchen. “They didn’t have the rest of what he asked for!”

“It’s fine,” he heard Ben mutter back to Kat. “I’ve got everything else I need already.”

Callum took another sip of his beer. It was his second, and Kush said there was one more if he wanted it, but he knew he shouldn’t. His head was already becoming a little wavy with just these two in his system. He wasn’t drunk, or even really tipsy, but the numbing buzz was beginning to creep through, which meant he may do something or say something that he wouldn’t ordinarily when sober.

Everyone was having a pleasant evening, the delivery of the food earlier encouraging them to relax and giving a positive edge to the day. They may have only been there less than a week, but something as simple as some food shopping could change a day from mind numbingly boring to positive and exciting.

He went to sit out on the bench outside, the beer starting to heat his cheeks, despite the air conditioning running. The bright garden lights were on, but it still felt solitary, still felt the quietness of the night. The breeze was gentle, just whispering through the blades of grass, and the chickens quietly cooed in their coop. The sleeping monsters.

After a few moments, he heard the patio door open, and Ben came wandering out. He scuffed his way across the grass slowly, almost as if he hadn’t even seen Callum, just doddering in the light of the moon and the gleam of the beams. Eventually, he came and sat down on the bench, taking a long sip of his own beer bottles.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he said, looking straight ahead. “I shouldn’t have had a go at you like that. It ain’t your fault.”

Callum just gave a shrug. “You’re up for eviction. It’s like how people are allowed to be however they want on their birthday. If you’ve been nominated, you’re allowed to be upset.”

“That ain’t it!” he said, and he finally turned towards Callum. “You think I didn’t know I was gonna be up? I ain’t exactly the shy and retiring type at the best of times, but with what I’d done this week, it weren’t a shocker.”

“Hurling a hundred thousand beads in the air during nominations did make you stand out a bit,” Callum said, giving a little laugh. Then he stopped himself. He had been one of those people. He had gone into that diary room and nominated him due to his own stupid thoughts and paranoia. “What is it then? If it ain’t about nominations?”

Ben took another long sip of his beer. “I don’t want to be a disappointment to her.”

Callum looked back with confusion, it felt like he’d missed some of the conversation. “Who?”

“You saw the photo,” he said in barely a whisper. “I know you did, I know you looked.”

It still didn’t hit Callum at first, but after a moment he understood what Ben was saying. That day in the bedroom that they were unpacking, he’d glimpsed the photo of the little girl. He got it now, some of it at least. There were still more questions than answers. “So how you were with the task, that weren’t just to piss everyone off then?”

“I could see how much you were struggling,” Ben replied, his face becoming soft in the shadowed light. “I thought I’d just give you a bit of a nudge. Pissing everyone off was just a lovely side effect!

Callum was a little confused. “Wait, you knew I was on a secret task?”

Ben took a sip of his beer and nodded. “Let’s say I had a strong inkling. I knew someone must be, they ain’t going to just throw us in and leave us alone for those few days. It weren’t long before I worked out who it clearly was. Luckily for you, those idiots didn’t read the rules carefully enough. I thought they might figure it out, discover that they didn’t need those ridiculous tweezers or to separate the colours, so I chucked all the beads in and knew they’d go against anything I said. You ain’t as good a liar as you think, Callum.”

“It weren’t lying!” he protested, draining the last of his bottle. It had hit his head now, the buzz mellowing and striking all at the same time. “I was made to do it.”

“All lies are told for other people, Callum,” Ben remarked, finishing off his bottle as well. “Even the ones we tell ourselves.”

Callum started to pick at the label of his drink. It felt calming out here, just chatting, only the two of them, and all his other worries seemed to just be nestled away. For now. “That’s very profound.”

“Well, I’ve got to give out my best advice, while I can, don’t I?” Ben replied, giving a small nudge with his elbow. “You’ve only got another twenty four hours to delight in it!”

“You reckon you’re going to go?” Callum asked. It felt like a loss now, if he wasn’t here. He couldn’t imagine it.

“Yeah, I’m outta here,” Ben replied, and it sounded like he thought it was inevitable. Like it had always been inevitable. Like there wasn’t or never had been a different option. “Steve’s a good bloke, he deserves to stay. No one at home has to listen to his snoring, so that ain’t gonna go against him.”

“Dotty could go,” Callum suggested a little hopefully.

Ben shook his head. “That girl knows what she’s doing,” he leaned back slightly, lifting his arm to lay on the back of the bench. “You don’t think she’s in the diary room every five minutes talking about how she’s a strong female housemate? She’ll make out she’s standing up to the Big Bad Gay Wolf, who’s about to huff and puff and blow this whole house down. Little Red Riding Hood she ain’t.”

Callum didn’t really think about what other people said in the diary room, didn’t really focus on the fact they were probably talking about him. He didn’t like to. He wasn’t sure what they might say.

“I’ve got a price over my head,” Ben continued. “Everyone would have seen me wreck the task, they would have seen me argue and you can bet there weren’t many that didn’t say my name in that diary room. I’m on borrowed time. I always was.”

Callum’s nails picked and clawed at the label more now, as the guilt about saying Ben’s name set in. It was like a snake just swirling around his veins, slithering and hissing at the part he played. If Ben went tomorrow, then it would all be his fault. Callum had wanted him out the house, wanted him away from him as far as possible. But at this second, he didn’t. He just wanted to sit here with him on this bench.

How could he though? How could he sit here and let Ben think he was talking to someone he could trust. He betrayed him, and that snake dug its fangs into his heart and squeezed. “Ben, listen-“

“Evening, gentleman!” Steve said, as he came through the patio door with a bottle of wine and three glasses. “I thought we might partake in a little tiple together, as this time tomorrow night The Three Musketeers could be no more!”

Steve came and sat down in the space between Callum and Ben, handing them both a glass each and pouring them a drink of red wine from the bottle. “Well, cheers then I guess!” Callum said, clinking his glass with both of them. He shouldn’t drink anymore, he knew that. Already words were starting to get nearer and nearer the tip of his tongue. He just took a little sip, before putting the glass down. Two drinks was more than enough in a place like this. “How you feeling about tomorrow, Steve?”

“Well, whenever I feel like ‘whining’, I just tell myself to put a cork in it!” he replied with a laugh. His face turned a little mellow though, the chuckle not quite reaching his eyes. “I’m just hoping for the best, Callum. No offence, Ben, but I really want to stick about for a bit longer. Well, I suppose if one of us goes, we’ll have to find a replacement chicken assistant.”

“Callum will do it,” Ben said, knocking back his wine like it was a shot of sambuca. He leaned forward and smiled. “Won’t you?”

“I do the cooking!” he protested. He was sure he could hear the beasts in there now, just chomping their beaks together at the prospect of getting their wings around his ankles. “I ain’t got time to do anything else!”

Ben clinked his glass against the wine bottle Steve was holding, a silent request to pour him another one. “Not got any time? All we have in this place is sodding time! You ain’t gonna to use our meals as an excuse! It don’t take that long to chuck a bit of pasta in a pot and drain off a few dandelions for Dotty to chomp away on. You’ll do the chickens! I ain’t having Habiba trying to paint their claws with her nail polish every morning.”

“It’s just a ‘poultry’ amount of work, Callum!” Steve said, patting him on the back. “If I end up staying it’ll give us a chance of catching up together every day, and if Ben stays you can be responsible for making sure he gets up every morning.”

Ben snorted into his glass. “Don’t worry Steve,” he said. “Callum’s managed to get me up every day so far. Cheers, everyone!”

He downed his second glass, and Callum could see he was terrified under there. Steve was also sipping at his drink quieter than usual. The odds were against them both.

** Day 8 – Eviction Night **

The axe hanging over their head monotonised the whole day. Perhaps it would be less of an occasion as the time went on and the show got further in, but after spending a week where the highlight was when Kush successfully managed to juggle four avocados at once after ten hours of trying, they were all hyped up and ready for a night that was a little different.

Everyone was dressing up smartly and getting ready as if they were going on a night out. It didn’t matter that people had seen them in the week dressed in trackies and without brushing their hair, they were now putting on their best outfits and fighting over their limited time for the hair dryers, straighteners and curlers.

They were asked to retreat to the bedroom for a short period of time, probably as the crew were setting up all the equipment outside the house for the eviction and they didn’t want them hearing anything. He imagined they were going through a final rehearsal before they got the crowd in, and it all began to feel very real now.

Callum hadn’t started getting changed yet, as he had cooked everyone an early tea, and had only just finished clearing everything away when they were ordered into the bedroom.

Most of the housemates were ready and prepared and lounging on the beds. Kat and Habiba were doing their make up and Dotty looked like she was happy enough, perched on the mattress. She was probably planning some kind of satanic ritual using tofu, or something equally as nefarious.

Ben was changed into a burgundy shirt and some dark jeans, having packed everything up that afternoon and sent his case into the storeroom. He was sitting up across from Callum and Steve’s bed, leaning against the headboard with his arms stretched behind his head. He was just staring at Callum, not even hiding where his attention was focused. His eyes didn’t even flicker when Callum started to take off his T Shirt.

Callum wondered what he was thinking. He wanted to know what was going on in Ben’s head, wanted to find out what he really thought about Callum, why he helped him with the task, and why now he was staring intently at his naked torso. He couldn’t help himself, he met Ben’s eyes in the mirror. He let himself do that, the shiny surface making it feel like it didn’t count, like it wasn’t real.

The moment was soon broken though, when Kat started to sing out ‘ _The Stripper’_ at him. “Come on get the rest of your kit off as well!” she said with a cackle, before she was distracted by Kush’s muscles in the arms of his short sleeved shirt.

He continued to get changed, removing his jeans and swapping them for his best pair. He dropped his gaze from the mirror for a moment then. It would have been too much, but he knew that Ben carried on looking. It warmed him from the inside right to his skin. Once he was dressed, he started chatting with Steve as he begun to do his hair.

The policeman had been ready for hours, perched on his side of the mattress with his oversized Stetson on his head. Callum was quite glad to have it somewhere he wasn’t at risk of tripping over it. He knew he was going to regret it, but he had to ask. “What’s with the hat then, mate?” he said, warming some product in his hands before sweeping it through the strands. “The force send you on a sabbatical to Texas?”

Steve gave a little chuckle back. “No, my son went to the States on holiday about seven years ago,” he commented. “He said he stole it from a cowboy. Either that or at Heathrow on the way back! He put it in his room at home, and it just stayed there even after he moved out. We never changed his room once he got his own flat. Me and the wife wanted to always make sure he had a place to come back to, let him know it was still his home and he was still our baby boy.”

“He gonna be happy or pissed off that you’ve brought it on the show?” Callum asked, just tweaking a few last bits of stray hair until he was content. He could still see Ben in the reflection, looking and watching.

“I don’t know what he’d think, Callum,” Steve said, gripping on to the rim of his hat. “He’s dead.”

Callum could see Ben’s eyes change in the mirror, and he sat up a little bit. “I’m so sorry, mate,” he called across the room. No one else had heard, they were all happily chatting away. “Was it sudden, or-?”

“Oh, we don’t want to talk about this tonight!” Steve said, not letting Ben finish. The top of his hat was falling over his eyes. He didn’t want anyone to see him. “You made up your mind if you’re going to do the chicken’s yet, Callum? It’ll put a real feather in your cap!”

Callum just nodded, as he and Ben looked at each other in the reflection. Neither knew what to say. For all that Steve had talked the past week, perhaps they just hadn’t been listening. “Yeah, course I will. Course I will, mate,” he replied, patting him gently on the shoulder. “But neither of you are going, so it I won’t have to, will I?”

“Got your crystal balls out have you?” Ben joked, as Callum gave Steve’s shoulder a squeeze. His hat was still lowered over his eyes, and he knew that Ben was now changing the tone deliberately and distractingly. “Surprised you can squeeze them into those jeans!”

“See what I mean, mate?” Callum replied, gripping Steve’s arm, not wanting to let go. “You can’t just leave me with him. Who knows what would happen?”

An hour later, they were all sitting on the sofas waiting. Callum has a glass of water by his feet that he kept on sipping. His throat was dry and he was worried that he would start sweating through his shirt, the tension was so high.

Giving his hands something to do, Callum gave Steve’s shoulder another squeeze, trying not to be knocked in the head by the Stetson when the policeman turned his head. Ben was sitting just across from them, next to Kat and Kush, and he gave them a brief nervous smile every time he looked across.

Though Callum liked Steve and wanted to support him, he wished he were sitting next to Ben. He knew it would make him look like a hypocrite, like he was going behind his back having voted for him and then comforting him during the eviction. Kat was gripping Ben’s hand tight. That was another reason he knew he couldn’t sit next to him. Something that just hit him when he was looking at the pair. He wanted to hold his hand.

“Let’s hope it’s a double eviction, eh?” Dotty laughed from across the other sofa. She was bookended by Isaac and Vinney, and she looked confident. Sickeningly so, and Callum wondered if she felt that way underneath, deep down.

“Let’s hope, eh?” Ben bit back, clearly annoyed at having to listen to her when they were all so stressed and nervous. Callum could tell he was scared. “That way we can get rid of both your faces!”

_“Big Brother house, you are live, please do not swear-“_

They all sat up a little bit straighter at the sound of the presenter’s voice ringing out over the speakers. There was nothing else though; no cheers, no boos, no heckles and no jeers. There was no crowd noise at all. Callum had heard a rumour that the housemates wouldn’t hear the audience until they were evicted and out the doors. The show wanted to take it back to how it was, where there was as little interference as possible from the outside world. Callum didn’t know if he liked or hated the idea; he wanted to know how everyone was being received, but in the end, ignorance was probably bliss.

_“Ben, Dotty and Steve, for the past few days the public have been voting for who they want to evict from the Big Brother house. The votes have been counted and verified, and I can now reveal that the first person to leave the Big Brother house is-“_

Callum’s heart was beating harshly in his ears as they all waited in silence. He had his hand around Steve’s shoulders, just needing to grip onto something, needing to be grounded to someone. He could hear Ben’s breathing from across the sofa; how terrified he was, how worried he was, and his face looked so youthful with the nerves. All Callum wanted to do was go over there and hold his hand. He just wanted to hold his hand. That wasn’t good.

He couldn’t have Ben here and want to do something like that. He needed him to go. He needed to get this feeling away from him.

He wanted to hold his hand. He wanted to sit next to him and link their fingers together like he was doing with Kat right now. He wanted him to stay.

He couldn’t do that though. He couldn’t sit there and hold his fingers tight. He couldn’t do it. And that was unbearable. He needed him to go.

He didn’t want him to go. He needed him to stay.

_“-Steve!”_

It took Callum a few seconds to register the result, as Big Brother now let the crowd noise back in. He couldn’t tell what was real and what was the pre-recorded sound though. It seemed to all merge into one. All he could see was the happiness on the faces of all the housemates. All except Ben and Steve.

Callum stood up, needing to try and get some of the blood back in his legs and the adrenaline needing to kick itself out of his body. Steve stood up next to him, as Habiba and Ash came and gave him a hug.

_“Steve. You have been evicted from the Big Brother House. You have one minute to say your goodbyes. I’m coming to get you!”_

“It’s been great to meet you, mate,” Kush said, coming over to shake his hand, as Kat gave him a big kiss. “Enjoy tonight, yeah!”

Vinny and Isaac strode over and gave Steve a clap on the back, as Dotty held out her hand for him to shake, as if she were the Queen greeting a worker at the local car factory. It seemed only seconds until Big Brother’s voice rang out throughout the house again.

_“Steve, you have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house! Steve, you have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house!”_

Callum was suddenly enveloped in a huge hug as the rest of the housemates went to stand by the stairs, in the appearance of saying goodbye, but also to see what they could hear when the doors opened. He clapped Steve on the back, unsure what to say to make the obvious disappointment go away.

Steve leaned back, still holding Callum by the shoulders and he could see that the detective had tears in his eyes. “Thank you so much for this week! I’ve had the best time,” he said, before lifting a hand to his head and removing his Stetson, holding it to Callum’s chest. “I want you to have this. You remind me of him a little, well quite a lot actually. I think it might help you to let go. Life can be ever so short, but also far too long when you’re trying to fight it.”

Callum gripped the hat tightly as Steve went to give Ben a hug, who was still standing by the sofas. “You deserve to be here,” the policeman told him, enveloping him in a big hug. “Look after those chickens for me!”

_“Steve. You have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house!”_

“Right boys!” he said, marching boldly towards the stairs. “That’s my cue! Remember, don’t ever ‘bottle’ up your emotions!”

They all waved Steve off as he climbed up the stairs and waited by the doors. There was a huge amount of noise when they eventually opened, but Callum couldn’t quite make out anything in particular that the crowd were calling. He was pleased though when Steve managed to get a good cheer.

As the doors closed shut again, the other housemates all seemed to dissipate into different corners, leaving Callum standing with Ben, still gripping the Stetson tightly.

“I’m glad you stayed,” he muttered, still looking forward at the staircase. He didn’t care if everyone in the country thought he was a hypocrite saying that after he nominated him. He meant it. “Thank you for this week. You knew, didn’t you? You helped me throw the task even though you knew it wouldn’t look good on you.”

Callum turned, needing to look Ben in the eye. Needing to ask the question that kept playing around and around in his head. “Why’d you do it?”

Ben shifted his gaze now too, turning around and looking up, holding Callum’s eyes hostage and not letting him turn away. It was like he had locked him in with his stare. There were no mirrors just catching a glance, this wasn’t through a reflection. This was real, and there was no one and nothing else between them.

“Why’d you think?”

Before Callum had a chance to say anything is response, Kat came and pulled Ben away, chatting about the eviction. Callum knew that he could trust Ben now, but he also knew he couldn’t get too close. It had only been a week and he was already struggling to keep his distance. How on earth would he manage in the next seven days?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
> 
> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx


	6. Week Two (Part 1)

** Day Nine **

_“This is Big Brother, would all housemates go to the sofas immediately.”_

Callum blinked back the sleep, as the lights suddenly burst on in the bedroom during the announcement. His head was heavy, and he had to haul it off the pillow as the striking glow from the lamps pierced through his eyes. It felt too early to wake up, the previous day being long and draining; his body just felt tired. Looking around through blinking eyes, he could see everyone else clearly felt the same.

There was a strange atmosphere in the house after the eviction the previous night. It was clear that many of the housemates weren’t overly disappointed that Steve had gone, barely giving a shrug after the doors had closed after him.

It only took a few seconds for Dotty to start holding court, gathering a little gang around her and celebrating what she considered to be a victory. Vinney was hanging on her every word, Isaac was calling out for Big Brother to send in some champagne, Ash was smiling and nodding her head, and even Habiba was hopping around her, the excitement of the evening flowing out with adrenaline, as she flicked her hair back and forth!

Callum just slumped down on the sofa, as the artificial crowd noise still floated in through the speakers. He didn’t quite realise how intense the eviction evenings would be, especially due to the fact he hadn’t even been nominated. He eyed Dotty’s fan club with disdain, as he nodded along with the conversation that Kush and Kat were having on the couch. There was a strong part of him that felt a little like a gooseberry, joining in with their chat when he clearly wasn’t needed. They were both too nice to ask him to leave, but he couldn’t help but notice they were getting close.

It led him to think about Whitney, as they were laughing and joking away. Callum never really minded when a friend came out with them both. It was usually one of Whitney’s mates anyway, and he liked chatting with them and bringing them into the conversation. He would never want them to feel awkward just because they were out with a couple. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t just the two of them.

Only minutes after Steve’s eviction, Ben was called by Big Brother to go to the Diary Room. Callum had been looking at the door, trying to glance inconspicuously, like he wasn’t just waiting for him to return for the almost two hours before he came out. He had finally got up the nerve to ask Ben the question that had been plaguing his mind, but the answer had been vague. Or at least seemed to rely on Callum understanding why. He wasn’t even sure why he did half the things he did, let alone the motivation for someone else’s actions.

Maybe, deep down, there was an idea, a reason that he thought could be a possibility, but it was probably only a festering thought that couldn’t be right. One that he wanted to be wrong, or at least needed it to be.

When Ben finally returned, most of the alcohol that Big Brother had delivered to commemorate the eviction had been drunk. Callum had saved him a beer though, which he almost had to karate kick out of Isaac’s hand when he reached down to grab it from the coffee table, thinking it didn’t belong to anyone. Ben slipped out of the diary room, his face looking tired and heavy set with worry. He sat quietly on the sofa opposite them. Callum slid the beer bottle over, and his face softened to a smile.

There almost seemed to be a feeling in the room that everyone had forgotten Ben had survived the eviction. The public had decided to keep him, they had deemed that he should be in the house. The other housemates were all pontificating about Dotty being saved, like if she had been chosen then she wouldn’t have deserved to go. That it would have been unnatural and an outrage if her name had been called. There didn’t seem to be that same atmosphere around Ben though; people were speaking about it like he was just lucky. Of course, there was always going to be a factor of luck in any of their evictions, but there had to be a reason that he was still here. No one seemed to be questioning it more than Ben himself.

Another hour had passed, and at that point most of the housemates had started to head for bed. The eviction had been late into the night anyway, and after a few drinks when the fanfare around Dotty seemed to die down, it seemed like the right time, and was much later than they had gone to sleep on the other nights.

The bed seemed huge now that Steve had gone, and Callum set the Stetson on his table, adjusting it slightly so it kept its balance. He tried not to notice that it covered the photo of Whitney.

Now though, it had barely felt like a few hours since they had gone to sleep, and Big Brother was forcing them up. He staggered out of bed, seeing Kush do the same. Even he looked sleepy and he was usually as fresh faced as a muscular daisy at that time of the morning. As Callum was walking through the bedroom, Habiba bumped into him, still wearing her sleep mask over her eyes. He quickly held the door open for her, just before she walked right into it. That didn’t stop her clattering into three chairs on the way to the sofa though.

They all curled themselves into their seats, Ash pulling down one of the blankets, as the air conditioning blasted out. The sun was still low in the sky meaning there were no warm beams radiating through the window to heat the room slightly. The blind was still closed anyway, so that would limit the warmth that could permeate through. If he didn’t know any better, he would think it was the heart of winter. That’s what Big Brother did; disorientate you and make you believe in things that just weren’t real.

“Come on, Big Brother!” Isaac called out into the silent room, the noise causing Vinney to sit up with a start where he had just nodded off. He went to adjust his headphones but had forgotten to put them on in the sleepy haste of getting up out of bed quickly. He just kept lolling his hand around his head like he expected them to appear. “Can you just tell us what you want? We’re all here!”

Callum glanced round with a frown. “No, we ain’t!” he replied. “Ben ain’t here!”

_“This is Big Brother would all housemates please gather on the sofas immediately.”_

“Where is he?” Ash asked sleepily with a yawn. “He’s not in the Diary Room again, is he?”

Dotty snorted her disdain, curling her feet under the blanket. “You know what he’s like, he’ll still be stuck in bed,” she snarled out, her oversized sunglasses perched on her nose. “Another day, another selfish act from Ben. Someone’s going to have to get him up.”

All faces looked automatically towards Kush. “Why am I being picked?” he asked, his expression filled with horror.

“Cause who wouldn’t want to see your face in the morning, darlin’?” Kat cackled out, grabbing him by the chin and shaking his head gently as though he were a miniature schnauzer. Without warning, a loud alarm clock started ringing into the house, buzzing through the speakers as the sound scraped at their ears. They all winced at the intrusion. “Right, I’m going to get him. I ain’t listening to this all day.”

With that, she scrabbled up, giving a short shiver in her little leopard print camisole and shorts, before storming into the bedroom shouting Ben’s name.

“She’s louder than the alarm,” Habiba said, holding her head and lifting her mask up slightly to peer a squinted eye out. “This is like torture. Did you do this is the army, Callum?

“Did we lock people in a nice house and then wake them up in the morning with an alarm as an interrogation technique?” Callum replied with his eyebrows raised. “Not quite, Habs.”

“Did you ever kill anyone?” Dotty asked suddenly. He couldn’t see her eyes, but Callum could imagine that they were smiling at the opportunity to deliver that question.

Thankfully though, he was saved by Kat storming out the bedroom door. “Right, well he ain’t budging!” she called out, grimacing at the sound of the alarm. “I threatened to pull the duvet off him, and he said if I did that then he’d melt all my lipliner down! If anyone else wants to try, knock yourself out, but he ain’t in a good mood.”

“I’ll go,” Callum said, hopping over the back off the sofa. If nothing else, it was a way to avoid Dotty.

He padded into the bedroom, his socks shuffling along the carpet to the bed down the end. All he could see was the duvet, pulled up to the pillows. The only evidence of Ben was the large lump underneath.

Callum tentatively went and sat crossed legged on the floor, leaning his back against the bedside table. He waited a few moments, just the faint sound of the ringing from the other room making its way though and he knew Ben would have realised someone else was there. “You can’t stay in there forever, you know,” he muttered out. “You’re gonna have to come out eventually.”

There was a slight movement under the covers at the sound of Callum’s voice. “What, they sending you all in one by one to coax me out?” the mumbled voice slunk out. “What next, Ash gonna come in and bore me out from under the blanket.”

“Nahh, I’ve sent her out to the garden to check on Habiba,” he said, keeping his voice calm. “She’s putting bows around all the chicken’s legs to brighten them up a bit. She’s gonna use some blusher on the white ones ‘cause she thinks they’re looking a bit peaky.”

As he suspected, Ben’s hand shot out from under the duvet and he waggled a finger in Callum’s vague direction. “That better not be true!” he called out. “I’m gonna train them to attack anyone that comes near them with haberdashery and make up!”

Callum reached out and gently gave Ben’s finger a shake. “What you gonna get them to do? Poke their attacker with their little wings?” he said with a laugh. It was no joking matter though, those monsters could take someone down with just one peck. But he was trying to cheer Ben up, so he kept it light. “Besides, you’d have to actually get out of bed to train anything.”

Ben dropped his hand down on the bed next to Callum’s fingers. He took that as a little success at least. Some of him was out of the cover. “It’s too early to get up,” he moaned out in a losing grumble. “God, Dotty’s not wearing those glasses that make her look like a scientist that had an accident in a lab, is she?”

Callum just gave a chuckle and hooked his little finger with Ben’s pinkie that was settled on the bed. It had been edging towards it anyway, like an itch that had to be scratched, when they were so close. Leaning on the bedside table with his other hand, Callum hauled himself up before tugging at Ben’s finger. “Come on!” he said, wiggling it from side to side. “Don’t make be hurl you out of bed with just a pinkie."

“Might pull you in here,” Ben replied from beneath the cover. “Show you exactly what I can do with my little finger.”

Where their hands were joined, now felt like fire, like a heated smelting iron burning red hot, conducting the powerful glow up through his arm. Callum cleared his throat to break the silence, and pulled insistently now with his finger, to let Ben know he wasn’t going to be panicked out of leaving him alone.

Just a moment later, the cover started to shake, and Ben sat up with his head appearing out of the duvet. His hair was a mess and his eyes were squinting to the adjustment of the light. It looked like he was both scowling and smiling in Callum’s direction. It was possibly both. There was a faint blush of peach on his cheeks and his eyelashes were fluttering with the air. “Come on,” he said quietly when Ben didn’t move any further.

Ben seemed to relent then, giving a nod and letting Callum hurl him to his feet. He was almost disappointed when Ben’s finger dropped from his, as he grabbed his dressing gown and pulled it onto his arms and put his glasses onto his nose. The loss of contact wasn’t for long though, when he gave a groan and leaned his head onto Callum’s shoulder. “I blame you for this!” he said, his nose wuffling into Callum’s sleeve. “This is all your fault.”

Callum gave a chuckle, starting to herd Ben towards the door. “I thought it might be for some reason,” he replied, opening the door.

There was a mixture of cheers and claps from the rest of the housemates, interspersed with a few huffs of annoyance and mutterings of disdain. Callum returned to his seat on the couch, and Ben crawled into a space on the sofa next to Kush.

“Right, I think we’re all here now, Big Brother,” Isaac called out with a roll of his eyes, as the alarm finally stopped ringing out. “Unless you’re still waiting for Steve to claw his way back in through the door!”

Callum noticed Ben glare across at the man from where his head was laying on the sleeve of his dressing gown, but he didn’t say anything. There was still a little of the moroseness from earlier, though he was at least part of the group now and hopefully his mood would improve from there.

_“This is Big Brother. Could one housemate please come to the diary room.”_

“Here we go!” Kush said with a clap, while Habiba scurried off at the order. “Be a little mini task, I reckon. Might get some booze and a party as a reward maybe?”

That caused a few of the other housemates to sit up a little at the prospect. Callum remembered what his handler had told him during his time in hiding. That they would usually have a small mini task on the weekend before the main shopping task in the week. It had seemed that his handler was a little liberal with the information she dropped. He wondered if any of the other housemates had the same. They probably have someone really professional who wouldn’t breathe a word. He hated having extra information; he just wanted to be like everyone else.

“It might be a jigsaw or something!” Vinney said, strangely excited.

“A jigsaw?” Kat questioned. “We ain’t bottled down in the local nursing home! This is Big Brother, it’s got millions of viewers, they ain’t gonna be chomping at the bit to see us find the last edge for a thousand piece puzzle of Westminster Abbey, are they?”

Habiba returned from the Diary Room, carrying a large envelope and a large sparkly box with a hole at the top, a piece of cloth covering the entrance so you couldn’t peer in. She sat it down on the coffee table, before opening up the envelope, pulling out a laminated instruction sheet. “ _Housemates, for this week’s shopping task-“_

“Shopping task?” Kat squawked out, sitting up with a start, her hand pressed against Kush’s knee. “We only just finished the last one a few days ago!”

“You ain’t on no secret mission this time, are you brother?” Vinney called out to him, suspicion clear in his eyes.

“No!” Callum replied with a tut. Although that was exactly something that someone on a secret mission would say. The young man seemed content with his denial though.

“For this week’s shopping task!” Habiba called out in annoyance, trying to get them all to listen. _“You will be split into two teams. Each housemate should now in turn pick a coloured ball from the box provided. Once this is done, you should then read the instructions contained in the blue envelope.”_

“Right, well here it goes!” Dotty exclaimed, standing up quickly to reach into the box. She shuffled her arm around a little, making sure the cameras had time to all focus on her, before she started rummaging around, pulling out a red ball with a smile on her face. Callum rolled his eyes at the fact she looked so pleased with herself but had no idea what it meant.

Isaac went next and pulled out another red ball, shrugging at it and sitting down, before Kat went and plucked a green ball out the box. Vinney soon followed, dragging out a red ball and clinking it together with Dotty as he made his way back to the sofa. Kush and Habiba followed, both pulling out green balls from the box.

When Ash stepped up, burrowing her way from out of her blanket, she dipped her hand in, yanked out the ball, and then stopped in shock. It was white. She examined it closely, as if it had developed some sort of malady in the box that had inflicted a sudden change that she could remedy. She held it up a little, as though Big Brother was going to blurt out that it was a clear mistake, but there was nothing.

Tentatively she sat down, hiding under her blanket and holding out the ball from the cover as if it may burst into flames at any second. Habiba moved her face near to it, sniffing the air around it sceptically.

Ben got up next, walking towards the box, and rolling the sleeve of his dressing gown up a little as he stuck his arm in the hole. “Last time I did this was at a dodgy little club in Vauxhall,” he said with a smirk, before hauling out a green ball. “Something entirely different came through the hole that evening.”

Callum started to stand up, ready to reach into the box. He didn’t know if there would only be one left or if there were extras in there. The teams might need to be equal, or perhaps one group would have more members than the other. He might even get a mysterious white ball like Ash, or one of a different colour altogether.

Pulling his hand out, his shoulders dropped a little as he held out a red ball; the same as Isaac, Vinney and Dotty. He didn’t know what it meant yet, but it he had a feeling it wouldn’t be good.

As Callum sat back down, Habiba pulled the smaller envelope from the larger one she had received from the diary room, and ripped it open, pulling out another laminated sheet as the blinds to the garden window started to raise. _“Housemates, you have now been separated into two teams; the red team and the green team. Outside you will see a line at one end of the garden, and a button at the other end.”_

They all craned their necks to look outside. Near to the shed, there was a large rope line, and on the other side at the bottom was a plinth with a large buzzer style button on. It looked a little like a rounded headlamp set upon the surface. Taking another quick glance, they looked back around to Habiba as she continued reading. _“One person from each team will have to sit behind the line and wait for the button to light up. When it lights up, the first team member to reach and press the button will gain points for their team. The button will light up either pink, orange, yellow or blue. Each colour is worth a different amount of points. These are contained in the red envelope in your pack. This must be left on the lounge table and not opened until Big Brother tells you to do so.”_

“Right, so one of our team stays behind the line with one of your team,” Kush clarified, pointing at Callum. “Then when the buzzer lights up, we race to press it and the winner gets a certain amount of points which Big Brother tallies up?”

“That’s what I said,” Habiba replied with a huff, waving the laminate under his nose. “You don’t have to say it again! This is like the time I worked as Gethin Jones’ assistant, and when I explained exactly how the lizard ate his 400 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, all he did was just repeat the explanation back to me, like it was confusing! I was really clear the first time! Can I finish now?”

“He just wanted to check, Habs!” Kat argued back. “You can’t really blame him after last time. Here, Brain of Britain, you ain’t seen any cheeky loopholes in this one, have you?”

Ben just shook his head. There didn’t seem to be any secret twists so far, but you could never tell with Big Brother. “Not that he’d tell us anyway,” Dotty commented with a sneer. “We’ll just have to wait until the button goes flying through the window and lands on the sofa.”

“Well, I’ll be sure to check who’s in the lounge before I toss it in,” Ben quipped back. “I wouldn’t want to accidentally smack someone in the mouth who didn’t deserve it.”

Habiba cleared her throat thoroughly. “As I was saying, _“One housemate has picked the white ball from the box. This housemate will not take part in the task, but is responsible for pairing up each of the team members to compete against each other.”_

She sat down and placed the laminate on the table, side eyeing Ash. The whole group’s attention was now on the doctor who had the blanket pulled up so high you could almost only see her eyes. She wasn’t able to hide from Big Brother’s voice though.

_“Would Ash please stand up.”_

She peeled the blanket off slowly, adjusted her hair slightly and fiddled with the sleeve of her hoodie as she slowly got to her feet.

_“Ash, each pair will be competing for seven hours in successive rounds until midday tomorrow. Please now pick one person from the red team and one housemate from the green team to complete against each other in the first round.”_

The doctor looked wide eyed at the group around her, all the potential possibilities clearly running through her head. “Uh, I guess the first round I’ll go for Kush and Isaac,” she said nervously. “I think they’ll both be really well matched and give a good effort against each other.”

Big Brother hadn’t asked her to explain her reasons, but it seemed to just be ingrained in them now to justify every action, thought and movement that they made.

_“Ash, please now pick the housemates that will be paired against each other for round two.”_

She started fiddling with her sleeve a little more. It was clear she didn’t like to make such a decisive choice in front of everyone. It made Callum question how she managed to be in and out of the diary room so quickly when nominating. That was clearly far too easy for her; a simple task when no one was watching and she could finally be truthful with her opinions.

“I guess I’ll go for Vinney and Kat,” she said. The older woman let out a cackle at being named. “I don’t think it’s a likely pairing, but I think they’ll be quite evenly matched as well."

Callum raised an eyebrow at that. She clearly didn’t think that at all; Ash seemed to be quite fond of Vinney, always saying he reminded her of her younger brother. She was obviously giving him what she saw as an easy option with Kat. He didn’t say anything though, but not all the group were quite so dignified in their response.

“You are only pairing us up cause you think I can’t bolt down that lawn in a pair of heels and this muppet here will get the jump on me every time!” Kat called out, her manicured finger pointed at the doctor. “We all know who you’re hoping wins this one!”

“No!” Ash denied quickly. Callum wasn’t sure why she was bothering. No one would think bad of her if she admitted that she liked some housemates more than others. It was clear that she had more friends on Vinney’s team. “I’m here to be fair!”

_“Ash, please now pick the housemates that will be paired against each other for the third round.”_

Chewing her lip a little, she looked towards the remaining housemates. Callum wasn’t quite sure what would happen if Ben and Dotty were paired against with each other. It’s very possible that they’d rip each other limp from limb until all that was left were a few bones, a dressing gown and some ridiculously large sunglasses.

“My choice for round three is Callum and Ben,” she said. They both locked eyes, and Ben had a little smile on his face, just a hint that he may play a little dirty and wouldn’t be beyond encouraging Callum to do the same. “I guess because this round will be during the night, so that’s not something anyone is going to want. Callum lied during the last task and Ben sabotaged it, so I guess it’s only fair they get the worst hours.”

Dotty sniggered, as Ben glared at her. “What are you talking about?” he shouted out. “He only lied to win you the task, and I was the only one who read the rules properly. Ten more years of education you got on me! They not teach you how to pour out beads from a jar in medical school?”

“You all wanted me to give an opinion, now I’m making one and you’re having a go!” she started to say loudly, before taking a deep breath and regulating the volume of her voice. “I’ve got to pick someone! I don’t want to, but that’s what Big Brother asked.”

“Yeah, shocking it’s us!” Ben replied with sarcasm, leaning back in defeat.

Ash was clearly torn. There was a rolling dilemma in her head that was causing her to panic. She was acting how she thought people wanted her to act, choosing the safe options rather than what she thought. Callum couldn’t blame her in a way, this was a game after all, but he wasn’t entirely sure that Ash knew how to play the one she was involved in.

_“That will leave Dotty and Habiba for the final round.”_

Dotty gave a friendly smile towards Habiba, dropping it slightly when the young woman turned away to fiddle with her eye mask. It was clear who she thought was going to win that battle.

_“Ash, you must now decide which team you believe will win the task. There is a piece of paper, an envelope and a pencil in the larger envelope. Please return the pencil when you have finished, and place your choice with the red envelope in the middle of the coffee table. You must not reveal your decision or open the envelope until instructed to by Big Brother.”_

The doctor gulped deeply, taking the stationery out of folder and curling up back in her seat. The pencil seemed to hover over the paper for a few seconds before she quickly scribbled down her choice, placing it in the envelope before she could change her mind.

_“Ash, although you are not taking part in the task, you are now part of the team you chose and wrote down in the envelope. Housemates, the team with the highest points total will pass this week’s task and win their members a luxury shopping budget. Round one starts in an hour’s time.”_

They all looked at each other after hearing the words, the ambiguity of them unsettling them, and Callum’s stomach almost started rumbling at just the thought that food may be on the slim side.

“What the hell does that mean?” Isaac asked. He was clearly panicked at the suggestion of no food. If they took their alcohol away as well, it’s possible that he would storm down the diary room door. “What does the losing team get? Are they just not going to feed us at all?”

“Of course they’ll feed us!” Dotty remarked, though there was an edge of doubt on her face. “We just won’t get as much as the other team, or be able to choose want we want from a list. They’ll give us a load of fruit and veg and all the basics, and meat for you lot and other protein to survive on. We just might not have things like chocolate.”

Habiba let out a squeal comparable to a hamster watching the wheel being removed from its cage. “You think we won’t have sweets?” she asked, looking like she was ready to push Dotty in the pool in order to get points. “What about cake? Surely they can’t take away cake? Or biscuits! I am not going to sit quietly while they take away my chocolate digestives!”

“Well, you better get you skates on then, Habs,” Ben grinned out. “We’re not going down without a fight.”

“I ain’t going into the bog with you!” Vinney shouted out, scuffing his trainer against the grass.

“I’m not asking you to come in with me and hand me the loo roll! I’m just saying waiting outside would be the chivalrous thing to do!” Kat snarled back, sitting a few feet away on the grass. “If not, I’m gonna end up weeing myself on this lawn!”

Vinney wrinkled up his nose at the thought. “Well, I ain’t no chival, so I ain’t moving!”

It was one hour into the second round of the task. At eight o’clock that morning, Kush and Isaac had stood poised behind the white line in the garden, their bodies slightly bent, with their eyes fixed on the button like they were taking part in a final at the Olympics. Both men were determined and stayed in their position, prepared to wait it out until the buzzer lit up.

Big Brother lingered like a mischievous sprite and kept them both waiting for just over an hour, sweat pooling at Isaac’s brow due to the pure tension in his muscles that were ready to leap into action. When the light did eventually shine out, a bright neon blue, both housemates’ legs seemed to scrabble on the spot for a few seconds like a cartoon character, before they burst into gear.

It was close all the way up to the button, but in the end Kush just reached it, slamming it down with his fist, sending the light off. It was pretty even going for the rest of the round, as the blue light came up a few more times, as well as the orange, yellow and pink seemingly in equal measure. Both men had their share of successes, although Kush seemed to take a few more wins but without knowing how many points each colour was worth, it was impossible to predict the outcome.

Now though, it was the turn of Vinny and Kat. To say they hadn’t started with the same athletic concentration as the pair before, was more than an understatement. Both slouched down on the grass; Kat with a nail file, and Vinney eating a sandwich, until Dotty had scowled him into at least looking ready to run.

They had one light going off already, a bright yellow beaming out in the garden. Both housemates scrambled to their feet, Kat pausing to pull her skirt down and slip off her heels. This gave Vinney a short edge in distance, but when his headphones slipped off his neck and hit the grass, he stopped mid-run, seemingly feeling duty bound that no man gets left behind, and rescued them from the dewy grass.

This gave Kat a little edge and she just managed to reach the light in time, banging it down with her palm with a delighted squeal. She ran over to Kush and jumped into his arms excitedly, hanging on for just a moment too long. “That’s the first thing I won since the egg and spoon race at school!” she said excitedly. “Mind you, I stuck the egg down with some chewing gum and then elbowed Sandra Elliot in the gut when she tried to get in front!”

“What did you do that for?” Dotty responded, gesticulating wildly towards the headphones now clung tightly around Vinney’s neck. “I don’t care if your arm falls off and blood is spraying from the artery, you still go and hit that button before you go back to try and sew it back on!”

Vinney looked a little hurt by the comment, and it was maybe the first crack in the relationship that Callum could see. The first time he hadn’t lapped after Dotty like an excited puppy, treating every word she said like it was gospel. He slumped his way back to the grass behind the line to lick his wounds.

A little while after that, Kat started to complain about needing the toilet, and was trying to make Vinney agree not to go for the button if it came on when she was in the bathroom. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t agree, possibly afraid that Dotty would chew up his headphones and spit them out if he didn’t make the effort. Kat had insisted he come and stand outside the toilet so he didn’t have an advantage.

“Not gonna happen!” Vinney reiterated once more. “If you wanna go, don’t let me stop you. I quite fancy a stroll to the button to get my points!”

“We’re here for a good few hours more,” she replied, pointing her nail file at him. “Are you telling me you ain’t gonna need to take a leak in that time?”

“Nah, I’m good, man!” he replied, smiling back. “I can last, or if not I can always water the grass for Big Brother.”

They all wrinkled up their noses towards Vinney. “Are you telling me that not only are you going to urinate on the place we sunbathe, but that if that button goes off while you’re peeing, you’re going to make a run for it with your ding-a-ling in your paw?” Habiba asked, looking like she was about to retch. “I will literally throw the task now if I don’t have to see that. I’m not sure I’d ever be able to burn that image from my eyes.”

A few minutes later, Kat had been shuffling and crossing her legs constantly, and she couldn’t take it any longer. “Right, I’m absolutely busting and I ain’t tinkling on the lawn!” she said clambering up. “Kush, give us a shout if that button goes off. Hopefully, that one will keep his dinkle in his trousers and give me a chance to make it a fair fight.”

She shuffled awkwardly into the bathroom, as the conversation continued. It was only when Vinney jumped up off the grass, and his eyes lit up, that Callum noticed that the light was beaming out with a bright orange.

“Kat!” Kush called out, his voice carrying into house. “The buzzer thing’s lit up!”

Vinney meanwhile was strutting slowly along the grass, his chest puffed like a peacock approaching a female. When there was the bang of a toilet door being flung open, he did start to waddle quickly, as if the peacock realised it’s potential mate was actually stuffed and located in a taxidermists workshop and wanted to get out quickly.

Kat was scuttling back outside, cursing as a sting of toilet roll was caught on her heel which she was trying to hobble and bend down to unhook it from her shoe. It was pointless though, as within seconds of her making her way over the line, Vinney had hit the button and then started jumping up and down as though he had won a hard fought battle.

“You little toad!” Kat screamed out at him. Vinney stopped jumping up immediately, his face looking worried. Callum felt a little sorry for him; being caught in the middle of Kat and Dotty wasn’t an enviable position. “You could have waited till I got to the line!”

“This ain’t Cuddle Camp!” Dotty called out smugly from the grass. “We’re in the middle of a competition. We’re not about to risk our chance while we wait for you to pull your knickers back up!”

As the two women started trading insults, with Vinney and Isaac backing Dotty up all the way. Callum elbowed Ben who was sitting next to him by the door.

“You ready to go for our round? I think my team won’t be happy unless I come from it with your head in my hands,” he said, wincing at the argument going on, each looking like they were going to rip shreds out of each other at any second. Callum looked over to Ben who was grinning back at him. “What?”

“I might just have to take one for the team then,” he replied, leaning back on his elbows.

They were only a few hours away from their round, and Callum had no idea what was going to happen.

Kat and Vinney had continued their battle, choosing to ignore each other, and running for the lights when they went off. It was Vinney who mainly got there in time, but a couple of occasions Kat reached it first after her Kush, Ben and Habiba worked out a system. One of them would sit watching the button the whole time, and then signal quietly to Kat when it lit up.

A few times when Vinney was distracted, they managed to notify her of the light before he noticed, giving her enough of a head start where she managed to reach the button before him. This seemed to pacify Kat a little, who had been threatening to hurl eggs at Vinney the next time Big Brother turned the light on.

During this time, Big Brother had called Callum into the diary room, and he left the garden and made his way to the door. Most of the housemates had been called in that day, so it wasn’t a huge surprise or worry. Yet.

_“Good Afternoon, Callum. How’s the task going?”_

Callum nodded, though he understood that probably wasn’t the answer they were hoping for. In truth, he really didn’t know. Was he supposed to? All the scores were hidden in the envelope, it would be impossible to find out. He may have told a few lies on his application, but having X-Ray vision was not one of them. “I think everyone is enjoying it so far. It’s strange to be competing against each other, not knowing who’s gonna be eating properly next week, but it’s something to focus our attention on.”

_“How do you feel being paired up with Ben? Do you think you can beat him in the challenge?”_

There was a hesitation before he answered, as Callum second guessed what they wanted him to say. He shook that feeling off though, it was natural to ask him about Ben, he was against him in the task. “I’m gonna give it my best shot. I’m not long out the army so hopefully some of my skills there will give me an edge; I can move and react quickly, I’m used to working for a team so I think that’ll all help, yeah.”

_“What skills do you think Ben may bring that will challenge you?”_

Callum smiled at that. The fastest he’s seen Ben move was that morning when he spotted Habiba strolling near the chicken coop. But as with anything with Ben, just because he didn’t or hadn’t done something, it didn’t mean he couldn’t. “I think he’s smart, and he can be quite stealthy,” Callum started. “He’s also unpredictable. He’s going to keep me on my toes.”

Now though, Callum and Ben were almost two hours into their round, and absolutely nothing had happened. At the start, all the housemates had been sitting with them, looking eagerly at the light, while speculating about the scores so far. First, Habiba and Kat had left, yawning deeply with Habiba saying she needed her beauty sleep to be up early in the morning for her round against Dotty.

That soon led to Vinney and Ash heading to bed, and Dotty followed soon after, realising that she too had to be up at the crack of dawn. She scowled a look at Ben and Callum on her way through to the house, as though she didn’t trust them to be left alone and complete the task correctly.

“Right, I’m done!” Kush said, resting his elbow onto his knee. “Trust you both to be able to sit there for hours and it not light up! Ben, you haven’t unplugged the button, have you?”

“No, I haven’t!” Ben replied, almost sounding insulted. “Although, it didn’t say you couldn’t in the task instructions, so it ain’t a bad idea, but in the House rules it says you ain’t allowed to play with the electrics or the cameras.”

Callum gave a chuckle. “Not that you ain’t thought about it then!” he replied, as both Kush and Isaac got to their feet.

“Just thinking through my options,” he smirked back, as the other men bid their goodnights. Isaac seemed a little reluctant to leave, probably under strict orders to supervise them both into the early hours, but clearly the pull of his bed was stronger than facing the wrath of Dotty.

“They’ll follow her no matter what,” Ben muttered out, once the man had headed inside, voicing what Callum was thinking. “She’s got them wrapped right around her little finger. I blame her for Steve being out. I’m not saying she broke any rules, but she’s got her ways. He didn’t deserve to go yet. It shouldn’t have been him.”

There was a sadness in Ben’s words, and Callum heard the meaning there, knowing exactly why Ben didn’t want to leave his bed that morning. “It shouldn’t have been you either,” he replied. That’s what he was thinking; for some reason, Ben thought that it should have been him that was evicted.

Callum sat back on the grass, resting his arms on his knees as everything around them was silent. The air outside was fresher now, and he was starting to feel little goosebumps appear on his arms. The sky above was black, and seemed so far away, beyond the harsh floodlights that bathed the garden.

Ben seemed of the same mood, just leaning back on his elbows and staring into the air. His eyes weren’t focused on the button, but Callum had no doubt that he would notice the minute it lit up. He couldn’t help but stare a little at the man in front of him. He cursed his eyes for working against his brain, their little retinas drugged up and getting high on the view, too stoned to listen to the warning his mind was sending him. He just wanted to look. Just a little look. That wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“Like what you see?” Ben asked, pulling Callum outside the internal bickering in his brain.

There was no time to answer though, as a pink light appeared in front of him. Both he and Ben stared at each other, neither moving for a moment, before Ben jumped up and started edging beyond the line.

Callum’s feet reflexly sprung up and followed him. He wasn’t sure why, perhaps it was competitiveness, or maybe it was just a natural pull, but he reached out and grabbed Ben’s forearm, preventing him from getting any further.

The force and surprise of the action almost yanked Ben right back to him, like he was on a bungee rope, and he had to grab on to Callum’s shirt to keep both their balance. They were inches away from each other, both joined by touch. “I knew you’d play dirty,” Ben said, looking up at him with a smile in his eyes.

There was a pause, a moment where they were just standing there in the night, gripping onto each other, their eyes fixed and talking. Callum saw it before it happened though, the little twinkle in Ben’s eye just as he dropped his hand from the shirt and tried to bolt in the direction on the button.

Callum still had a grip on his arm though, and fell a few steps with him, placing his other hand around his waist and giving a little prickling pinch with his fingers, leading Ben to squeal and writhe when trying to move his torso away. The fingers around his arm were too strong however, and now Callum had a method that worked, he continued to tickle Ben, the other man doubling over with laughter as his body squirmed at the sensation.

He wasn’t completely passive though, and managed to catch his foot around Callum’s ankle, forcing them both onto the grass. Ben had his leg hooked around Callum’s thigh as he lay with his back on the grass, laughing as he continued to be attacked. It was infectious and Callum couldn’t stop, though the button wasn’t the only light going off. His mind was kicking at him, screaming something in there, blinking furiously to try and get his attention. He should probably listen to it, hear what it had to say. But not now.

Suddenly, there was a tingle hitting his face, and he realised that Ben had used his free arm to grab a handful of grass, a few blades hitting his mouth. “I can’t believe you just did that!” he replied, really scratching his hands along Ben’s stomach, his shirt just sliding up so Callum’s palm was met with warm smooth skin, that he quickly brushed his fingers across.

“Stop! Stop it!” Ben chuckled out, breathing heavily. Callum was now laughing so hard his side was starting to hurt. “I swear to god, I’ll put the chickens on your bed while you sleep if you carry on!”

Callum stopped with his movements. Ben was only bluffing. He hoped. He held the man’s arms above his head and pinned them with his own fingers. “I slept next to Steve for a week, there ain’t a lot I couldn’t handle in my bed!” he said, as Ben’s eyes darkened over. Callum’s body was draped halfway over his to keep him pinned. They were both breathing harshly, the only sound reaching around the garden.

The little warning light that had been going on in Callum’s mind, had now turned into a siren. Well, actually more like the sights and sounds you’d find at a convention for emergency service vehicles. The worse sensation, and the most alarming, was that this didn’t feel wrong. He wanted to break himself away from it, kick himself away from this moment. He needed to before it got too far. The trouble was, he didn’t think he could do it.

Ben made that choice for him though, reaching down and grabbing another fistful of grass and stuffing it down Callum’s shirt. He rolled off Ben immediately, the itchiness tickling at his skin, and he flapped at his t-shirt, getting most of the blades out, before he collapsed in a heap on his back next to Ben. One of each their legs were still crossed at the ankle, the weight feeling grounding and comforting to Callum.

“Where’d the light go?” Ben mumbled next to him. Callum looked up in confusion, the floodlights still beaming down on them. Ben elbowed him and then nodded over to the other side of the garden. Turning his head, Callum looked over to the side. The light wasn’t orange anymore. It was back to its normal appearance.

“What do you think that means?” Callum asked, a little concerned. It had always stayed on until someone had hit it, so far today. Although no other pair stopped to roll around on the grass for a while, so there was that.

“I think it means that Dotty is going to gut you and serve you up as an aubergine puree,” Ben said with glee. He obviously had no such concerns about the task. “I’m serious, her head’s going to explode when she’s found out you let a light get away.”

Callum heaved himself up off the ground, reaching his hand out and pulling up Ben with him. They started walking back behind the line, dropping back to the ground. There was still a tickle all over Callum’s body, and he couldn’t help but wriggle about, trying to free the annoying pieces of lawn that were irritating him.

“Why don’t you just go change your shirt?” Ben said, after the fifth time Callum had tutted while finding another stray blade.

“Oh yeah, I’m gonna stroll in the bedroom when I’m supposed to be in the middle of the task,” he replied, scratching at his arm. “That’ll go down well.”

“Dotty will probably be hanging from the ceiling, blanketed in her wings and listening for your footsteps!” Ben warned. “Well, you’ve got to do something. You can’t sit around scratching for another four hours.”

Callum sighed knowing he was right. It felt like there were hundred ant-size chickens crawling around his chest, pecking and scratching away. Great. There was a nightmare that would keep him up at night. He stood up and started to head towards the door. “Fine, I’m gonna go to the bathroom and see if I can get the rest off.”

He strolled through the house, Pixar following his movement, and gave a little wave. Callum wondered what team he was backing. He hoped it was his, then if they got the luxury shopping budget perhaps he could buy something for him as a present. What did cameras like?

In the bathroom, he took off his shirt and shook it, brushing it vigorously down, before wiping at his chest and back with a cloth. Putting the clothing back on, he spent a few seconds doing his hair in the mirror, picking out a few bits of grass that had made their way in, before sweeping it back over into place. He didn’t question why he wanted it to look good in the middle of the night.

When he made his way back out the patio door, Ben was still sitting in the same place as he had left him, looking at him expectantly. “Light’s on,” he said, nodding towards the end of the garden. Callum gazed over to see the light shining back at them in yellow.

Ben didn’t seem to be moving this time. If he had wanted, he could have jumped up and pressed it while Callum was still in the bathroom. “What shall we do?” he asked.

Cocking his head slightly in thought, Ben started to stand up. “Come on,” he said, walking towards the button and signalling for Callum to do the same. “Let’s see if this will work.”

“I ain’t chucking it over the wall!” Callum responded with a chuckle, as he approached the buzzer, earning himself a quick glare. “Which one of us is going to press it?”

“We both are,” Ben replied, holding his hand out to Callum. “Trust me. They can’t pick a winner if we press it at the same time.”

Swallowing a little, he put his hand near Ben’s and he linked their fingers together. They connected perfectly. It felt like they were holding hands. It wasn’t though. It wasn’t holding hands. It was just for the task. Nothing else.

Ben raised their arms up and dropped their hands down on the button, ensuring that their fingers hit the surface at exactly the same time. “See?” he said with a little smile. “We should probably have all done it this way, and then it would have been a draw and Big Brother would have given us all a luxury budget.”

Callum shrugged a little. It’s possible that Big Brother would have been magnanimous with their prize if they showed a little ingenuity, but ultimately that wasn’t how they worked. “Or they would have gone the other way and made sure none of us got it,” he replied, as they walked back behind the line, scratching at his back.

“Why are you still wearing that shirt?” Ben asked, narrowing his eyes. “You’re still scratching.”

“What, I’m supposed to sit here without a top on?” Callum asked, before giving Ben a look that let him know the question was rhetorical when he started to open his mouth. “I think you’re confusing me for Kush!”

Instead, the other man stood up. “Right, I’m going to get you another shirt,” he said, making his way towards the door.

“Get me my hoodie instead!” he called out, Ben giving a little flourishing bow at his request before going inside.

Callum lay back and closed his eyes, listening to the sounds around him; the whistle of the breeze through the trees, the faint insect chirps in the distance and the rattle of the branches behind the walls. It was almost like this wasn’t a tv show, and he was in some painting of the countryside, laying on a lush hill. Of course, those same sounds were also at the beginning of every horror film he’d ever seen, so it was as likely that there was some machete wielding serial killer on the loose as well.

As he opened his eyes to check for any suspect shadows in the bushes, his gaze was covered with material that was flung in his direction. “You ain’t sleeping on the job, are you?” Ben said, when Callum took the hoodie off his face. “Lucky for you Dotty’s in the middle of her sweet world domination dreams.”

Callum started to take off the itchy shirt, replacing it with the fresh hoodie. Ben wasn’t looking towards him as he did it, and he was almost disappointed, though he had no reason to be. “Where’d you get that from?” he asked, pointing towards the other item Ben had returned with in his hands.

Unscrewing the cap of the bottle of red wine, Ben grinned back at him. “I may have possibly liberated it from the stock room the last time we had a delivery,” he said, not looking in the least bit repentant about it. “Thought I’d stash it away until we could have it undisturbed. Raise a glass to Steve. It’ll be like he’s here, but without the wine puns!”

There was a sweet sentiment in that, and he shuffled closer to Ben as he took a swig before passing it over to Callum. They both went on that way, trading stories about the man with an affectionate laugh, eventually seeing who could create the best pun. Although, Callum gave up once Ben threatened to throw more grass at him with his ‘Hakuna Moscato’ effort.

Twenty minutes later, with almost all the bottle consumed, Ben raised it in the air. “To Steve! Wherever you may be! Hopefully getting laid and swigging back a bottle of the good stuff, rather than this cheap tat we’re drinking at the moment! You’re a good guy, I didn’t nominate you and never would have! So fuck the ones that did! They’re all cowardly pussies chasing after Dotty’s arse!”

He passed the bottle over to Callum, who raised it carefully in the air. His head was starting to feel a little slower now, and his movements all felt very pronounced and heavy. Thankfully, Ben had drunk most the bottle, and he himself had only had around a glass and a half’s worth of the drink. It was the worse alcohol he could have though. Wine always went straight to his head.

“To Steve,” he called out. “Mate, you snore like a bear, but you’re a decent guy and an amazing dad. Anyone would be lucky to have a father like you. I’m sure you’re a great husband as well. Your wife’s lucky that she’s found someone that proper loves her so much. I never nominated you either.”

The words stuck in his throat a little and he took a long sip from the bottle. He may never have nominated Steve, but one of the people he did was sitting next to him. It felt heavy on his shoulders, especially with the alcohol pressing on his mind. It was a mistake, a huge error he made that he couldn’t change. He just wanted to get it out in the open, even if it made Ben hate him, he just needed him to know.

“Listen Ben-“

“You never talk about her,” he interrupted, taking the bottle back from Callum, and draining the last of it like he needed it for courage.

The cotton wool fluffiness of his brain was making him feel slow, so he just closed his eyes and shook his head at Ben’s statement. “What?”

“You’re fiancée, Whitney,” he explained further, and an ice cold hit of realism hit Callum with the sound of her name. “You ain’t never really talked about her. Why is that, Callum?”

“Just because you ain’t talking about someone it don’t mean you ain’t thinking about them,” he explained. He wondered if that explanation was convincing to anyone that was listening. Callum wondered what Whitney would think when she saw their challenge tonight, how he was tickling Ben, holding his hand and laughing with him. She’d know it was all for the task surely. They’d all know that when watching. “I think about her all the time.”

Ben nodded at that, looking straight ahead. “The light’s going again,” he said quietly, as an orange hue hit the garden. He stood up, still not turning his gaze to Callum and held his hand out. “You with me?”

There was a moment of hesitation. Inside, under the cloud of wine and the night, he knew there was no need for them to hold hands all the way to the button. He knew that, but it gave an excuse, a slight one, but enough of one. Callum lifted his hand up and slipped into his Ben’s warm grasp, giving an involuntary squeeze as they paced slowly towards the other end of the garden. It was for the task. That’s all it was.

A few hours later, and an empty wine bottle well and truly hidden at the bottom of the recycling, Dotty came staggering out of the patio door, pulling a sleepy Habiba with her. She could barely keep her eyes open and was saying it was against her human rights to choose between sleep and chocolate biscuits.

They had taken over from Ben and Callum, and started their round, a light appearing almost immediately which Dotty managed to get, while Habiba just jumped up in the air, flailing her arms in a panic. Callum stayed to watch for a little while, before going into the kitchen and starting to make breakfast for everyone. Ben slipped into the bedroom, mumbling that he was going to get a few hours sleep before he had to look after the chickens.

It was only about ten minutes later that Big Brother’s voice boomed through the house.

_“This is Big Brother. Would all housemates gather at the sofas immediately.”_

Callum dropped the spoon he was holding at once. It had to be down to the way he and Ben completed the challenge last night. What if they had failed the task already and both teams would be on a low shopping budget?

He took a deep breath and made his way to the sofa, preparing to meet the angry faces of his housemates when they found out what they had done.

They were going to hate him, and with nominations coming up soon, he knew whose names would be on their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
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> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx


	7. Week Two (Part 2)

** Day Ten (continued) **

Callum paced over to the sofas, then back to the kitchen before he could sit down. He wasn’t sure his body could sit still at the moment. It was so early, and Big Brother’s announcement, that they wanted them all to gather, had rattled through him.

Habiba came through the patio doors with a large sigh and a roll of her eyes. “Dotty wants to know if this is some kind of trick. She’s not coming inside until she’s sure.”

“Excellent. Lock the doors and hope Big Brother don’t say another word,” Ben said, slouching out from the bedroom. “We’ll give her a shout when she’s evicted.”

Habiba huffed out another sigh, slipping on to the couch as Ben knelt on the floor by the coffee table.

“You ain’t minding if the light goes off then, Habs?” Callum asked, needing something to distract him while he was waiting for the rest of them to come out. What could Big Brother want?

She shook her head. “The one time I got it, Dotty complained it was because there was dust in her eye,” she said with a scowl. “It’s quite nice to have a break, and I want to see what this is all about. What do you reckon? Do you think they’re gonna give us another task while this one is still going on?”

Callum looked towards Ben and raised his eyebrows, checking to see if he had any idea why they had been called. He just gave a shrug and started to fiddle with the red envelope on the table, repeatedly folding the corners back and forth over in his fingertips. Callum thought there was perhaps more than a little nerves there too, like he knew they were about to be found out about the task.

He didn’t want anyone else to know, and not just because they could get into trouble. It had felt like their time alone. Just the two of them in the garden. It wasn’t though. There would have been the cameras watching. It had felt like just the two of them though. It had felt like they were alone together.

The rest of the house started to filter through the doors, looking annoyed for the second day in a row that they were woken up early.

“Man, I can’t believe we’ve been dragged out of bed at this hour after all the work we did yesterday,” Vinney said, rubbing his head in his hands to try and wake himself up. “I’m beat.”

Callum squinted towards him. “You had to run up the garden a couple of times,” he said, shaking his head.

“Yeah, hardly working down a mine is it, mate?” Kush said, dropping onto the sofa. “What’s all this about then, anyone got a clue?”

Ben gave a heavy exhale, dropping the red envelope on the table and shuffling back onto the sofa next to Habiba and Callum. The rest of the housemates came in and took a seat, and finally Dotty stamped her feet a little before sliding through the patio door. Clearly, her intrigue and need to be involved overtook her competitiveness.

Big Brother’s voice eventually rang through the house again and Callum could hear his heart beat louder and louder. It even overtook the sound of Kat clicking her nails together, and Ash whistling with her teeth like they were starting their own mariachi band. They were all nervous.

_“Housemates when you entered the house, you agreed to adhere to Big Brother’s rules. This includes being prohibited from talking about past or future nominations, who you have or haven’t nominated or to try and influence anyone else’s nominations.”_

Callum looked around at them all, wondering who had broken the rules. They’d all managed to make it into the second week without this happening. It helped him remain hopeful, the fact that he wasn’t stuck in a house with people who were constantly trying to convince other people who to vote for. Someone had obviously not been able to control their actions though. Someone was obviously a manipulative little fox who thought they could get away with it. He couldn’t see any guilt suddenly flood into anyone’s face yet. They were clearly just very good at hiding it

_“At 2.57am this morning, in a conversation with Callum in the garden, Ben said the following-”_

Oh. Shit. It was him. He was the manipulative fox. Callum tried to catch Ben’s eye, needing to have a silent conversation with his co-conspirator. Well, at least that’s what they would call them when they were dragged up in front of a crowd baying for their blood. Ben wasn’t looking though. He had his eyes squeezed shut and had been like that since the start of the announcement. While Callum’s brain was a little fuzzy on the details, he could tell that Ben remembered every word.

Callum tried not to look at anyone else but he could feel their stares; their eyes lasering on to him. He heard the whirr of Pixar spinning round, probably to take a peek, and to shake his little metal head in disdain as well. Et tu Brutus.

“- _“To Steve! Wherever you may be! Hopefully getting laid and swigging back a bottle of the good stuff, rather than this cheap tat we’re drinking at the moment! You’re a good guy, I didn’t nominate you and never would have! So fuck the ones that did! They’re all cowardly pussies chasing after Dotty’s arse!”_

There was an exclaim of shock from Dotty. It was slightly exaggerated, and she was clutching at her chest as though someone had shot an arrow in her heart. If she had one, of course. Her face wasn’t showing even an inch of upset though. She was practically bouncing in glee at Callum and Ben being caught. She was almost drooling at the mouth that it had been her who had been insulted in a sentence that was played to everyone.

Callum realised that if they had read out what Ben had said when he admitted to not nominating Steve, then they would reveal what he said too. He quickly tried to think through what he had said. He hated the thought of his conversation being played out to a group of people, when it was just supposed to be private between the two of them.

 _“In response, Callum said_ _‘“To Steve! Mate, you snore like a bear, but you’re a decent guy and an amazing dad. Anyone would be lucky to have a father like you. I’m sure you’re a great husband as well. Your wife’s lucky that she’s found someone that proper loves her so much. I never nominated you either.”_

He noticed Isaac shake his head, as though they had committed a heinous crime and performed a satanic ritual in the garden with chicken’s blood and voodoo dolls. It wasn’t that bad, not really. There were words mentioned that he would have preferred for the group not to hear, but they only said who they didn’t nominate, and Steve wasn’t even here anymore. The group had no reason to get annoyed at them.

_“Big Brother takes any and all rule breaking seriously, and as a result of Ben and Callum’s discussion of past nominations there will be no hot water in the house for the next twenty four hours.”_

Well, perhaps one reason. There were jaws dropped, even Ben looked surprised as he took his hand away from his eyes finally. They had punished them by sanctioning the whole house. Clever move.

“Take it back!” Habiba screeched out, hitting Callum lightly on the arm. “Take back what you said so we can get the hot water! How am I supposed to wash my hair? Do I dip it in the kettle?”

“They can’t take it back, Habs,” Dotty said, hiding a smirk behind a fake look of disappointment. “The damage has been done. They’ve had their little gossip session, and slagged us all off when they thought we wouldn’t find out.”

“Actually, it was just you I was slagging off, and I’m happy to do it to your face anytime you like,” Ben remarked. “Really, wake me up in the night if you have to; I’ll be ready, eager and waiting.”

There was a tension around the room; this happened every now and then. The bubble burst and none of them could ignore that this was a competition and a television show at that. Everyone knew, it never really dropped out of their minds too much, but there was the façade there that could cover it up. Until it couldn’t.

“I don’t think it was the best choice to make,” Ash said suddenly as she was caught under Dotty’s glance.

Everyone stopped with surprise as she said it, except Dotty who looked pleased. “Oh great! I’m getting criticised by someone who is so firmly planted on a fence post, the splinters in their arse are beginning to rot!” Ben said, looking at them both accusingly. “You can’t sit there and pretend that none of you ain’t criticised someone else.”

“Well, we can, because it hasn’t been read out by Big Brother,” Isaac added. “None of our conversations have got us punished.”

“The only reason it was read out was because we talked about someone we didn’t nominate!” Ben replied, sliding to the end of the sofa. Callum could tell he was getting annoyed. He could also tell it was more aimed at Big Brother for reading out a vulnerable moment, than it was at his housemates’ reactions. “Don’t make out that you ain’t all been in that bedroom talking shit about me.”

“Still haven’t broke the rules though, have we mate?” Isaac commented. “You need to learn a bit of self control.”

“You think I ain’t self controlled?” Ben replied, his voice deep and rumbling with rage. Callum knew he was close to losing it, and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to stop it. “You have no clue. For one, I think I’m controlling the desire to slap that smile of your face very well.”

“Ben!” Callum hissed, trying to stop him from going any further. He gripped at his wrist, more for his own sake than anything. It was just all hurt there. He wanted to take it away. He knew how, deep down he knew what he could do. But he couldn’t.

_“This is Big Brother. Would Ben come to the Diary Room immediately.”_

Ben got up from the sofa, shaking off Callum’s hand and walking through the house, kicking the chair as he went and swinging open the diary room door vigorously.

“He’s gonna get himself kicked out!” Kat said, looking towards the Diary Room. “It’s like the rule book’s his own personal bucket list. He’s seeing how many he can cross off before he gets the boot.”

That was the last thing that Callum wanted to happen, and it annoyed him that so many of them seemed to be sitting in glee at his reaction. “You lot ain’t helping with winding him up,” he criticised. “It’s like you’re trying to push and push him until he breaks.”

Dotty looked at him sceptically before her face surprisingly softened “We ain’t doing anything, Callum,” she replied gently. “Ben’s a good guy and he’s entertaining, but he brings it all on himself. You can’t blame us for being a bit pissed that he slagged us off, yet we’re the ones getting the punishment. Look, I’m not saying abandon him, but there’s seven more of us in this house. We’re all gonna go out and sit on the grass for the rest of the task. Go grab yourself a bag of crisps and come sit out and have a chat. If Ben wants to come sit with us once he’s out the diary room, then that’s fine. It’ll be his choice. But don’t let him drag you down with him, Callum.”

As they all got up from the sofas, Dotty patted him on the shoulder with a soft smile. Her words had been rational and clear, and they made a lot of sense.

Kat went back to bed for an hour, mumbling that there was no point stinking out the whole house if she couldn’t have a shower. The rest of the housemates chose to lay on the grass as Habiba and Dotty went back to their area for the competition.

Callum knew Dotty was right; he knew he was siding more and more with Ben, getting closer and spending less time with the rest of the house. It wouldn’t look good on screen, following one person about all the time when he was perfectly capable of having conversations with the rest of them. He knew what he would have to do.

The wind blew hauntingly, and dark clouds seemed to appear, closing out the sun and its light as he made his way outside. Callum wasn’t about to regret the decision though, even if it didn’t seem right or natural. He gripped the bag in his hands tightly, the nerves in his fingers trembling at the prospect. He could head his footsteps thud through his body, as the sounds started to flood into his ears; the cackles of laughter as he headed towards them.

He started to think this was a bad idea, but he had to do it. Those were the two choices he had been faced with. He could either just keep going and get closer and closer to Ben, or he could reach out to other people more. Get to know a little bit more of Dotty behind that forked tongue, find out some more about Ash and what she enjoyed. He could learn all about Isaac’s life. That’s who Callum had always been. He was always seen as a all round good guy; everyone’s friend who provided a considerate ear to listen.

He walked the last few steps slowly, changing his mind with each plod. He didn’t have to do this. He couldn’t be forced into this just because someone had asked him to and it was heard on camera. It would be easy to change his mind, to run back in the house, sit outside the diary room and wait for Ben.

This was the right decision. It was the right thing to do it. He tried to ignore the pounding in his chest and the screaming in his mind. As he stood in front of them, their eyes all looking up at him expectantly, he was afraid that this would be the worst mistake of his life.

“You can go in, you know. They won’t bite,” the voice behind him said. “Well, not until you do something to rile them up. Bit like me in that way.”

Callum leaned on the gate to the chicken coop, as he glanced back at Ben, taking a couple of deep breaths as he fiddled with the lock to get in. The birds were still looking up expectantly at him with their beady eyes and cackling clucks. Behind him on the other side of the garden, he could hear Dotty and Vinney laughing about something Habiba was doing. He didn’t care. They could keep to their little clique and putdowns. That wasn’t him. Not the real him, and he knew it as soon as Dotty had started talking to him. That’s not who he wanted to spend his time with. He wasn’t going to try and be friends with everyone with the hopes it would play well on the outside. It was never even an option in his mind.

“Can’t I just chuck it at them from out here?” Callum asked, waving the bag of seed. “They’ll still get it. I don’t understand why we have to go in at all.”

Ben knocked his hand out the way and opened the gate, stepping inside and signalling for Callum to follow. “No, you’ve got to put it in the feeder, or it’ll get wet if it rains,” he said with a huff, as Callum still stood dead still. “Well, either you come in here with them, or they come out with you. All that extra space will give them a good run up when they try and peck your eyes out.”

Callum shut the gate up quickly and glared at Ben. “This ain’t funny!” he hissed at him. “Do you know how many people get sick or die from chickens each year? They had a Panorama episode about it.”

Ben tutted and opened the gate up again. “That’s from eating raw meat!” he said, grabbing Callum’s wrist and pulling him in. “As long as you ain’t gonna take a nibble at one of them, I think you’ll be fine.”

“Cock fighting!” he exclaimed, holding the bag of seed in front of him as a shield. “That’s classed as a dangerous sport!”

“Not the way I do it,” Ben said with a wink before giving him a soft smile. “It’s dangerous for the animals. Unless you’re suited up and taking part against the rooster version of Kush, I don’t think there’s much risk to humans. Now, will you come on! They’ve got to get to know you or they’ll smell the fear and try to pack hunt you.”

“Ben!” he whined, giving him a little shove. “I’m being serious here.”

“No, you’re being a little drama queen here,” he replied, pulling Callum closer towards where the chickens were clucking around, pretending to be so sweet and feathery. “Just come and hold one.”

Callum creeped closer as Ben reached down and picked up the chicken, giving it a little stroke to the back of the head. “Are you alright?” After earlier?” he asked quietly, not wanting to disturb man or beast. “They were out of order.”

Ben gave a shrug, as the bird snuggled into his arm. It looked docile enough, but Callum could swear he heard a hiss in there somewhere. “They ain’t worth the bother,” he replied. “You ain’t tempted to go scurry off and sit with them then? Trouble seems to follow me about.”

“Not even remotely tempted, though Dotty gave some shitty spiel thinking it would work. I know what I’m doing,” Callum said, leaning back on the fence. “I ain’t gonna be led into nothing I don’t want to do. She don’t understand that.”

“Good!” Ben replied before holding out his hands which were full of a downy demon. “Come on. This one is my favourite, she won’t hurt you. She’s on her best behaviour.”

“You can tell them apart?” he said, reluctantly sticking out his hand to poke at the bird with his finger; it immediately shook its head and gave a cautionary cluck. “God, you ain’t named them have you?”

“Yes, I’ve given them names!” he answered back. “ What’s wrong with that? On the ground we’ve got Ann, Izzy, Glory, Connie and Penny.”

Callum looked at him suspiciously. “Those seem like very nice and normal names,” he remarked slowly.

Ben smirked back at him, and then started to point to the hens individually. “Well, it’s not their full names, obviously. That one down there by the fence is Glory Holl,” he said with a wink. Callum just shook his head, as Ben pointed to a small red feathered bird. “She’s Connie Lingus, and the one next to her is Ann Albeed. The two over by the coop are Penny Traycion and Izzy Hung.”

Callum gave a little sigh, knowing that Ben was grinning up at him hoping he’d blush. He didn’t disappoint him. “What about this one then?” he said, as Ben plonked the chicken into his arms. It seemed to meld its body into a round blob. Probably be easier to coat in southern fried seasoning like that. “She have a name?”

“This is Miss Sian Airy,” he replied. “Cause she’s common as you like, and when I first saw her she was on her back in the coop with her legs in the air! I call her Missy though.”

Missy seemed to have one beady black eye open, just glaring at Callum, not wanting to share the warm arms of the human that had been looking after her all week. It seemed to be delivering a warning, and Callum gave her a quick pat on the head and handed her back into Ben’s hands before she started to carve out a threat onto his arm with her beak.

There was a shriek over the other side of the garden, as the light on the button glowed with pink, and Habiba practically tried to crawl her way to the plinth, not bothering to stand up. Dotty got there first and turned and glared in Ben’s direction. “They will try and pull you down, Callum. There will be moments when you question everything you are,” he said, glowering towards the woman. “Trust you know the answer. And don’t look back.”

** Day Eleven **

The rest of the task day had passed without much fanfare. Most people were a little bit grumpy at having to take cold showers, apart from Vinney who said he’d rather have no shower than to wash under freezing cold water. The rest of the housemates tended to disagree, but he still didn’t seem to get the hint when Kat rolled a can of deodorant over to him.

When midday hit, the task was over, but there was nothing else said. No announcement by Big Brother, no clue over who had won the challenge or a hint that they should open the envelope yet. They were all waiting on tenterhooks that whole afternoon, expecting something to happen, and again all evening they waited, but the day was uneventful and quiet.

Even the group’s annoyance at Ben and Callum seemed to have petered out, though Habiba did emerge from the shower, shivering like a drowned rat and cursing their name. That was one better than Kat who cursed their bollocks, saying she hoped they withered into prunes and exploded in a ball of pus, as she attempted to wash in the freezing water.

By the time night had hit, not even Dotty seemed to have much malice against them, as the whole house lazed around just waiting. Eventually they all started to head to bed, the early starts catching up with them, and all considering the thought that tomorrow would bring more news.

When Callum awoke, it was still dark in the room, and soft snores and breathing were prevalent in the air. His eyes fluttered shut just briefly before popping open again, noticing that the green light was blinking on above the door. It sometimes went red during the night, if Big Brother locked them in when the crew were arranging something in the house.

Gently he pushed the duvet down, giving a short shiver as the air con hit his skin. He dropped his feet down onto the carpet, trying not to wake Isaac in the bed next to him. Instantly, he gave a look over to Ben, but the blanket seemed flat. Callum squinted his eyes in the dim light, but he couldn’t make out the shape of his body. Reluctantly he padded to the door, after realising that his eyes weren’t going to adapt to the darkness.

When he pushed the door open and stepped into the main building, he stopped so abruptly that the handle hit his hip as it swung shut. Callum felt that his eyes were still tricking him like they were in the bedroom, misleading him into seeing things that weren’t there. Either that, or it was a particular vivid dream where his mind had decided to turn the air conditioning on as a detailed touch.

In front of him was the main part of the house, and in a way not much had changed. The kitchen was still in the same place, the lounge was still in the corner, and the dining table was still there, just moved over to the same side as the kitchen and the lounge. Most other things seemed to look the same as yesterday. However, the day before he didn’t seem to remember large bars, separating the house into two sides, that ran from the ground to the ceiling. That was new.

Walking forward a few steps, he reached out and touched the bars, almost wondering if they were just a mirage, or perhaps made of polystyrene and carefully constructed paper. However, when his fingers hit the bars, the solid sting of cold heavy metal was held in his hand. He grasped it in his fist, giving it a little shake, but it was solid.

Callum ran his hands up and down the bars, not seeing any gaps. There was little in terms of furniture on the other side, just a few beanbags scattered on the ground, a small cupboard and a door in the wall that he didn’t remember being there yesterday. It was bare and empty, and the starkness was a contrast to the furniture and utilities that were on the side that Callum was standing in.

Moving towards the patio doors, he could see that there were two exits, one on either side of the bars, that were open. He stepped though the one on his side and out into the garden. There was little difference again. On his side he could still see the pool and the lawn which took up the majority of the garden. The shed was still there, but it still looked locked by his eyes.

The garden wasn’t separated by the same bars that were in the house. Instead, there was a large wire fence, that reached just above Callum’s head and sliced the garden into two sections. It wasn’t an equal split though. The side Callum currently stood in was clearly greater. On the other side, there was little of the lawn. Just some concreted shelter, two benches with a table, a barbeque and the chickens. It would be a decent patio where he grew up, but sitting next to a beautiful lush garden it paled in comparison.

“I can’t say the new décor is exactly suited to the rest of the house,” Ben said, coming out of the chicken coop and approaching the fence. “It looks like they’ve created a pop up prison in the middle of an Ikea store.”

“How’d you get over that side?” he asked, peering through the wire.

Ben leaned closer to the fence and started to pick at it with his fingers. “There’s a little gate in the bars by the diary room. It’s cubicled off; you go through that gate and then a door on the other side and it leads you to here,” he explained. “They’re both open at the moment, but there’s a buzzer system set up, it looks like. Means both sides can access the diary room if Big Brother lets them through, but they can’t get to the other side.”

Callum was not liking the sound of this. The space felt enclosed already, living with so many other people with little else to do but overthink every moment. Now it was drawing everything even closer, but as he looked towards Ben through the crossed wire, it seemed like it could be ripping things apart too.

“Penny’s getting out,” he said with a nod to the coop, as the chicken was sticking her little curious head out the open gate, before waddling through confidently.

Ben gave a sigh before moving to shoo the bird back in. “Any time the gate’s left open, she tries to make her escape. In and out all the time, this one,” he grinned back, though Callum could tell his heart wasn’t in it. He was worried too.

_“This is Big Brother. Would all housemates gather on the sofa.”_

There was a sigh coming through the fence. “Showtime,” Ben said, looking at him knowingly. It was as if he had guessed what was about to happen. He had noticed the gates after all, and seemed to predict the avalanche that was probably about to descend down on them.

Callum made his way to the sofa, watching as Ben did the same, walking through the house, then through one door in the bars next to the diary room, and then another, closing them behind him as he went.

“They have got to be joking with this!” Habiba said in a huff, her hair in pigtails after she spent all day yesterday trying to hug the cold out of it. “The third day in the row they’ve called us up at ridiculous o’clock in the morning! What do you think they want this time?”

Callum and Ben looked at each other, and then back at Habiba, waiting for her to twig. “You not notice anything different, Habs?” he asked, waving his hand around at the house as she curled up in a ball on the sofa.

She squinted a little. “Well, you haven’t done your hair today, but usually you get the hump if one of us mentions it before you’ve had the chance to style it,” she commented, as Ben sniggered next to him. There was a pause and then her eyes widened as she looked around. “Oh my God! They’ve moved us to a different house!”

Callum didn’t have the chance to correct her before the rest of the housemates trudged out the bedroom, all releasing exclamations of shock and surprise, examining the changes and starting to speculate before they all made their way to sit down on the sofa.

_“This is Big Brother. Would Callum please open the red envelope on the coffee table and read it aloud.”_

Sliding off the sofa, he reached down to the coffee table and picked up the envelope, slowly and carefully starting at the corner and gently lifting the seal and peeling it away.

“Some point before the next eviction might be good, mate,” Kush said, twiddling his fingers nervously. Callum didn’t even bother giving him a glare. He understood they were all nervous and it was manifesting in different ways.

The envelope was finally opened and he pulled out a card, taking a quick glance at the writing before reading it aloud. “Blue light is worth one point, yellow light is worth ten points, pink light it worth twenty points and orange light is worth a hundred points.”

“I definitely got a couple of orange!” Isaac claimed, holding up his hand to high five Vinney. “Give me the hundreds, baby!”

Callum put the card and the envelope down on the table, leaning back ready to listen for Big Brother’s announcement for who won the task. Unfortunately, he soon realised that they would be a little more detailed than just revealing the winner.

_“Kush and Isaac took part in Round One. The blue light lit up at 9.02am. This was won by Kush.”_

Habiba sat up happily, though it was the only the first result and it was only worth one point. There was a long way to go yet. Callum tried to tot up the scores for each man as it went along, and by his count, Kush ended the round thirty points ahead of Isaac.

_“In Round Two, Kat and Vinney were challenged against each other. At 3.17pm the yellow light lit up and was won by Kat. At 4.27pm the orange light lit up and this was won by Vinney.”_

“It might not have been if that tosser had been more or a gentleman and let me go for a wee!” Kat spat out in her opponent’s direction.

Vinney simply shrugged, and lifted his hand for another excruciating high five with Isaac. “What can I say, all’s fair in love and war. And this is war, kitten!”

“Call me that again and I’ll shove those headphones so far down your throat you’ll be shitting plastic for weeks!” she called back, before the results started coming through again. Vinney seemed to get the button more often, but Kat ended up with some of the higher point lights, though there had been no more orange in their round. It seemed by the end, that everything was level between the two teams.

_“Round three was Ben versus Callum. At 12.22am the pink light lit up. Neither housemate managed to reach the light in the five minute time limit, therefore no points were awarded.”_

There were eyes suddenly bolted towards them both, and Callum let his gaze fall back to the red envelope, unable to meet any of the housemates’ stares.

“How do you not manage to turn the light off within five minutes?” Ash asked curiously. “Were you both in the bathroom?”

“Unfortunately not. It was late, you chose us for the night round! We must have both dozed off,” Ben lied with a shrug. “Had a bit of a lay down in the grass.”

Callum raised his eyes a little, and it seemed that most of the group had bought the excuse. All except Dotty, but they could have shown her video evidence and she would have still not believed them. They were lying, but Callum felt it was the principle of the matter.

_“At 1.09am the yellow light lit up. As both Ben and Callum reached and pressed the button at the same time, there will be no points awarded.”_

Yeah, he was going to stare the life out of that envelope again. “Wow!” he heard Dotty’s voice sarcastically ring out. “Were you napping then as well? What happened did you both manage to sleep walk synchronised?”

“We got there at the same time!” Ben blurted out. Callum could hear the lie in his voice. It was easy when you knew it was there, and now he had the feeling that he’d be able to recognise it more now it had shown its face to him. “It happens in Olympic finals and horse races all the time, you think Big Brother’s got a better time system than top class sporting events?”

“Yeah, and dog races and that. Their little greyhound noses poke over the line at the same time, don’t they?” Callum added. He didn’t think it helped, and there were a few more suspicious faces around the table.

_“At 2.23am the orange light lit up. As both Ben and Callum reached and pressed the button at the same time, there will be no points awarded. At 3.17am the blue light went off. As Ben and Callum reached and pressed the button at the same time, no points were awarded. At 4.05am the orange button went off. As Ben and Callum reached and pressed the button at the same time, no points were awarded. At 4.45am the yellow button went off. As Ben and Callum reached and pressed the button at the same time, no points were awarded.”_

Silence. That red envelope was becoming really interesting now. It’s possible that he could just keep staring at it for the rest of his life and never see the disappointment in the housemates faces till his dying day. It would make a good container for some of his ashes. He didn’t have to wait long for his housemates to make their thoughts known.

“That’s a little disappointing, guys,” Ash said. “I know I didn’t get to take part, but there’s other people to consider in this.”

“Mate, unless those dogs got their paws tied together, they ain’t going over the line together four times in a row!” Vinney said. “What were you two playing at? You both on another secret task?”

“No, they’re not!” Dotty said, huffing her way through the sentence. “It’s just Callum and Ben, being wrapped up in Callum and Ben’s world, where no one else matters. They’ll do what they want in the tasks, not caring about how it affects anyone else!”

“Wow, Dotty how may time you snivelled that line out in the Diary room?” Ben said, seething right back at her. “You say it enough times then it’s sure to get on air, yeah? That the plan? We ain’t done anything that affected anyone. If anything, we were the only ones playing fair! You should be getting the trembles from that, Ash. We sat doing nothing and changing nothing. That’s your whole game play, ain’t it?”

Dotty leaned forward, a twinkle in her eye when Ben’s temper started to flare a little. She was baiting and provoking, hoping to get a reaction. “I think it’s clear who’s playing a game here,” she muttered back to him. “And it ain’t us.”

“It aint us either,” Callum replied, putting his hand up as Ben started to open his mouth. “Let’s hear the next scores shall we? Let’s see how charitable you are when playing a game.”

They didn’t have to wait long. Big Brother read out the score for Habiba and Dotty’s round, and Dotty managed to get ahead on points. The Red Team had won and would be getting the luxury shopping budget. The consequences for the other team were still a mystery.

_“Congratulations Red Team. Dotty, Vinney, Isaac and Callum, you have won a luxury shopping budget for the week. Your list will be delivered shortly, and you are reminded to only use or consume the items you receive for yourselves. You can not share any with the Green Team. Kat, Kush, Ben and Habiba the Green Team have lost the task. You will be provided with basic rations to survive this week.”_

“Survive?” Habiba said, sitting up straight. “What do they mean survive? How basic are these basic rations? We’re not going to get supermarket brand mayonnaise, are we?”

_“Ash, as part of your task, you had to choose which team to be part of. Can you now open the envelope on the coffee table and reveal who you chose.”_

Not giving anything away with her face, Ash picked up the envelope and quickly opened it. “I chose the Green Team of Habiba, Kat, Kush and Ben,” she replied.

Ben let out a laugh. “God, you really do want to be seen as liking everyone, don’t you?” he said, accusingly. “Christ, even I wouldn’t have picked us! Kush was the only one that could ever win his round. Kat would sooner bleach her eyebrows than set into a light jog, Habiba wouldn’t notice if the button had sprouted legs and run off, and I really can’t be arsed to run up and down at two o’clock in the morning when there are much more interesting things I could be doing at that time. But then you ain’t stupid, Ash. You knew all that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, though her face looked like she didn’t really want the answer.

“You wanted to show how fair you could be by siding with the losing team,” Ben replied. “I mean fine, if we were all your best buds, but you like everyone in the other team a hell of a lot better than this one. Except Callum.”

Hearing he wasn’t the favourite person of the young doctor he had been stuck in a house with for ten days wasn’t exactly the most insulting verdict that had ever been flung his way. The way Ash said her next sentence was a bit of a kick in the teeth though. “I like Callum,” she replied, her tone high pitched as the words practically vomited themselves from her throat. “And I thought you guys were the underdogs, sure, but I thought maybe you’d come through! I’m sorry, but I’m the one on basic rations too! I’m not the enemy here! Big Brother made me choose!”

_“Housemates. There is more.”_

They all let their shoulders sag. Of course there was something else.

_“Not only will the Red Team get a luxury shopping budget, but they will also be immune from eviction this week. As you lost the task, Green Team, you will all automatically be nominated. That means that the housemates up for eviction this week are Ash, Ben, Habiba, Kat and Kush.”_

“Oh God! I’m going to have to make potato salad with some skanky Tesco eggy-smelling mayo, my hair feels like it’s been sicked on by a walrus, I don’t have a clue where I am and I’m up for eviction!” Habiba whined. “They cannot make this day any worse. I’m just going to go back to bed at this rate.”

Callum couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten. Some of his favourite people in the house were up for eviction. If he had just let Ben win some of the lights, then it would be his team who were nominated. Then it would be a win-win situation. Isaac, Vinney and Dotty weren’t exactly his best friends in the world, and if one of them had to go at the end of the week then he wouldn’t exactly cry himself to sleep.

The other option would have been that he was evicted. That’s exactly what he had been hoping for; to be out within the first few weeks, have everyone forget he was even here and go back to his life and flat with Whitney. That had been the plan. That’s what he wanted. He could forget everything in this place and everything in this place could forget him. Why didn’t that feel quite right anymore?

It was irrelevant anyway. He was here for almost another two weeks now that there were no nominations this week. It would be one of the other team that went. Looking around them, they were all lovely people, even Ash who had seemed to have got herself twisted with her intentions. She wouldn’t offend anyone enough to want to get her out. He doubted she offended anyone enough to remember her name, let alone bother to spend money evicting her out the house. Callum couldn’t imagine anyone voting Kush out; he would have to be popular on the outside. Kat could be abrasive, but she was also positive and bubbly. Habiba was harmless; there was no way anyone could get angry about her. That only left one.

The mumbling, irate fidgeter sitting to the side of him, narrowing his eyes in such a way that he seemed hopeful that laser beams may shoot out of his stare at any second and land directly on Dotty’s socks. Ben has survived last week, so there was a good chance he would again. Callum thought back to this time during the previous week and he would have done anything to get Ben out the house. He did do anything; he nominated him. Now, it was the last thing he wanted. He could admit that. It was good for him to have a friend in here. He knew his friends and family at home would be pleased he’d found a mate he could talk to.

_“Also-“_

“Oh for Pete’s sake!” Kat cried. “What else can they do to us? They’re gonna starve us and then chuck us out! They gonna kick us up the arse as they do it, and all?”

_“The house has been divided into two halves. One side will be for the Red Team. You will have access to the kitchen, lounge, bedroom and bathroom inside the house. You will have access to the lawn and swimming pool outside. Green team, you will be living on the other side of the bars. You will have access to an outdoor shower, you will cook your rations on the barbeque provided. You will sleep in the temporary bedroom on that side of the house. You may use the chickens to collect eggs.”_

“Or you could just off a few of them and shove them on the grill!” Isaac commented with a laugh. “That’s what I’d do if I were in your position.”

“If you were in that position and you took one step near them I’d sprinkle seed on your cock while you slept and let the one with the sharpest beak give you a blowie,” Ben said. Callum pulled him back a little, just resting his hand on his shoulder to let him know that no one would be barbequing the birds. They would be much better roasted with a bit of garlic and lemon, anyway.

_“Housemates from the Green Team must make their way over to the other side of the house immediately via the door in the bars by the diary room.”_

Immediately, Habiba started running towards the bedroom. “Let me just get my duvet and pillow!” she called out, but almost toppled over when she hit the door. “It’s locked! Why have they locked it?”

She carried on pushing for a few seconds but Big Brother’s voice rang out again, insisting that the losing team go over to the other side. Callum gave Ben a little wave. He didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t as though he was leaving the house. He would just be the other side of those bars. No distance at all really. They could still talk.

It did feel different though. It was like they were being forced apart. There was no doubt in his mind that Callum was all alone in here, but that wasn’t a new feeling. Wherever he went in his life, he always felt like the outcast; the one who didn’t quite fit in.

School was a joke, as much as he tried to mimic and copy those people he called his mates, those kids who let him join in their group. It always felt like he was just trailing behind, just a millisecond after everyone else in laughing at the jokes, the last one to be invited to the meetup and parties. It wasn’t as though he was discluded; he was always given a clap on the back and a greeting. But it was always as if he was never remembered unless he was in the room. Like he just didn’t exist if he wasn’t there.

Home didn’t help either. He never could fit in with his dad or brother’s expectations of him, no matter how hard he tried or no matter how much he changed himself. Callum never quite understood it; how he tried his hardest yet failed every time. He used to spend a lot of time with his friends, The Carters. Sometimes that was worse though, seeing them bounce off each other, bicker and laugh in equal measure, always knowing what each other was thinking. They made him welcome, they always did. But he was still on the outskirts looking in. Not one of them.

The army was the same as school really, all he had to do was copy other people’s behaviour, not make any waves, not speak out too much, but not remain totally silent either. It was like balancing on a tightrope. He had to think about what he was doing or saying all the time, never stopping his concentration for a moment for fear he would fall one side or the other. It had been exhausting. It had drained every little bit from him and left him wondering what was left, and if that was even real.

That’s why it was so great that he found Whitney. She was such a lovely and sweet person, and he could be himself with her. He knew he was massively punching above his weight and she could have any bloke she wanted. But she chose him, and he could finally be accepted and wanted for who he was. Though it wasn’t all of who he was.

It was enough though. It had to be enough. It still wasn’t easy, he was still balanced on that tightrope and sometimes the strength to just grip on burned his toes, the pain searing and blazing as a reminder to not look down. He was still all alone up there.

There was a strange sensation when he met Ben. It felt like he was meeting another outsider. There were parts that he was just recognising, and somewhere over the last week he realised that he wasn’t alone on this tightrope; Ben was walking towards him in the other direction. It was wobbling the rope slightly, making it harder to grip on, and he didn’t know what would happen when they met in the middle. But he wasn’t alone.

Callum was shaken from his thoughts by the man’s voice rippling through the bars. “Look at the envelope,” Ben whispered as he turned around. He was nodding towards the items on the coffee table that Callum had opened at Big Brother’s request earlier. The red one that the points had been put in.

Picking it up, he peered in before giving a shrug back in Ben’s direction. “There ain’t nothing in it.”

“Not in it. Look at it,” Ben replied. “What do you notice?”

Callum examined it. It was just a normal red envelope, no secret compartments or hidden messages. It looked exactly the same as when Ben had been playing with it yesterday.

Though not quite. Running his fingers over the perfectly flat corners, it hit him suddenly what the other man was implying. Callum looked back up at Ben questioningly.

“Ash could be right,” Ben whispered back to him. “We’re forgetting the real enemy.”

To say that the losing Green Team had taken their defeat with dignity and class may be a slight understatement. It would also be wrong.

The first problem hit when the door to their bedroom was opened. Kat and Habiba dashed in, ready to claim their beds. It was barely five seconds before they both returned with faces like thunder.

“There ain’t any beds,” Ben told him through the bars, as Habiba ran towards the Diary Room. “Just a few sleeping bags on the floor.”

“It’ll be like camping,” Ash tried to encourage them all with. “It’ll be fun.”

None of them were buying what she was trying to sell. It got worse when Habiba tried the outdoor shower, scuttling back and screeching in horror. “It’s cold!” she exclaimed, holding on to her damp hand like it had been frozen by an ice queen. “They can’t be serious with this!”

“What did you think an outdoor shower would be like?” Kush asked, giving the barbeque a couple of kicks as though that would help heat it up quicker.

“I just thought it would be like a shower but outdoors! It’s in the name!” she replied, holding out one finger and testing it again in case freshly boiled water was to suddenly bloom out from the rusty spray. “I followed Michael Ball on tour to Iceland and the Blue Lagoon there is gorgeous. I sat there in my mudpack thoroughly toasty until I got thrown out for singing _Music of the Night_!”

The scowls through the bars were tangible when the Red Team’s shopping had finally arrived. Their budget had been the same as the previous week, even though there were only four of them to enjoy it instead of ten. They had all completed it together this time, knowing that there was no risk that anyone would go without. As they leapt to the storeroom when Big Brother told them it was open, Callum felt positively gluttonous as they brought out gleaming red steaks, glistening pieces of salmon, large rich slabs of chocolate and oversized fizzing bottles of sugary drinks.

On the other side it was much less decadent, as Ash brought out their group’s daily rations with a face of shame.

“That’s for all of us?” Kat exclaimed open mouthed, as she stared down at the small bags of rice, beans and one bag of fruit. “For the whole day? Kush sniffs up that amount by accident in his sleep! We can’t last on this!”

Callum smiled apologetically across as Kush tried to boil water on the barbeque, hurling in the rice and beans in annoyance when Isaac started clucking on the other side of the fence. He could see Ben narrow his eyes from the chicken coop, and whisper something into Missy’s ear. Did chicken’s have ears? Either way, he turned her beak towards where Isaac stood laughing, making sure she knew the target.

That night they all said good night to the other side of the house through the bars and headed towards bed. Their bedroom looked different now too. Big Brother had taken out all the beds apart from four doubles that now remained in the empty room. All of the other team’s belongings had been moved to the other side.

Callum got underneath his covers, after making sure Steve’s Stetson was propped up on the bedside table. Plumping his pillow a little, he wriggled down trying to get comfy under the covers. Closing his eyes, he tried to gently drift off.

Right, well that didn’t work. His eyes popped open like they were on springs, and he turned on his side a few times and then onto his front trying to get comfortable. It wasn’t working; the normally comfortable mattress felt like concrete, digging and prodding into his body. Sitting up, he looked across the room. There was no one there.

Callum had become used to Ben sleeping across from him. He had got used to the sound of his breathing, the little sniffs he made every time he turned over and the way he’d kick his foot out the cover with a huff. It all seemed so quiet now.

Sitting up, he cleared his throat, a little louder than he intended. It didn’t stir the other three in the room who seemed to be fast asleep, enjoying the large spacious beds to themselves. Enjoying the time alone. Callum had too much of that in his life to ever really enjoy it.

Instead he threw off the cover and started to head towards the kitchen. In his head, just to get a glass of water, but if a sirloin steak should happen to slip into a well heated pan, then so be it.

Thankfully, Big Brother hadn’t locked the bedroom door, so he opened it quietly and tiptoed out. What he saw made him smile.

On the other side of the bars, laid out in his sleeping bag was Ben, his arm over his eyes to try and block out the harsh light encasing the room. He wasn’t asleep though, Callum knew just by the sound of his breathing.

“Camping trip not going well?” he said, approaching the bars. “Thought you might all be gathered around the campfire by now, toasting a bit of orange segment and a bean on a stick!”

Ben removed his arm immediately. “Don’t even joke,” he said, sitting up on his elbows. Callum went over to the sofa and grabbed a few of the couch cushions, picking up one of the blankets as he went. He lay them down by the bars and settled down, pulling the cover over him, as he leaned on his arm. His body settled a little to have Ben by his feet. It felt more natural now. “I tried to shut my eyes in that room and I’ve got Kat and Kush in there, tucked up in their sleeping bags, trying to huddle together. It looks like two caterpillars going for a drunken hump. Habiba kept whining about the cold and was slowly shuffling her way towards me. That teamed with the loudness of Kush’s stomach rumbling, and I decided trying to sleep out here under the floodlights of Wembley might be a tad easier.”

Callum snuggled down into the lumpy cushions and his body relaxed into them. It strangely felt more comfortable out here. Even just laying in silence for a few moments, listening to Ben's breathing and his fidgeting in his sleeping bag; it seemed like it was the right place to be.

It was only when Ben spoke his next sentence that his body started to tense up.

“Callum, can I ask you a question?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
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> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a word or two. Or of course down in the comments below. Thank you for reading xx


	8. Week Two (Part 3)

**Day Eleven (continued)**

Callum lifted his head up, looking over to Ben to make sure he had actually heard his voice and it wasn’t just playing around his head. His eyes were looking towards him and he was waiting expectantly. It was always the statement that he dreaded to hear in one way. The nervous anticipation between someone requesting to ask you a question, to the moment when it exits their lips. The endless options running around your brain; your mind focusing on the worst possible choices. The ones that you dread to hear.

On the other hand, it gave you time to prepare. You could think of the worst possible question that could fall from that person’s lips, something that was trying to coerce out your deepest, darkest secret and you could get that answer ready in your head. Well, you could get the lie ready. Perhaps other people just waited, prepared to reveal everything. That had never been Callum though. The lies were spun and spun like candy floss around a stick, becoming larger and larger the more they were uttered.

Ben was looking at him so expectantly though, like he wouldn’t ask a question that Callum couldn’t answer. “Sure,” he replied. “Anything.”

Chewing his lip a little, Ben seemed to be wondering how to pose the question and it was an agonising few seconds before Callum finally heard his voice. “Why the fuck are there bunny ears on that camera?”

Callum blinked back a little at the sentence, not being quite what he was expecting. “What?”

Ben sat up fully now, shuffling closer to the bars and pointing through them. “On top of that weird little camera over on the side, there are a pair of blue rabbit ears,” he repeated, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh, that was me,” he said with a smile, looking over towards Pixar. He looked fuming. “I thought it looked cute.”

Callum wasn’t sure what reaction he was expecting, but Ben throwing his head back and emitting a loud laugh probably wasn’t it. He had wanted to buy something for Pixar in the shopping list. His first thought was to get a little webcam to keep him company, but there wasn’t any way of powering it and as Dotty snarled at his suggestion at getting pancetta for the housemates, she probably would have eaten the chalk if he’d gone for something really expensive.

Ben was still leaning back and laughing, his chest shaking. “Oh god, you are something fucking special, you know that, Callum?”

“Oh thanks!” he replied, with a huff. It wasn’t the first time that he was made fun of or laughed at for his silliness and foolish acts. It stung a little that Ben was doing it as well. “I know it was stupid-“

“No, it ain’t! It ain’t stupid! It is sorta cute,” Ben said, reaching through the bars and tapping Callum’s knee to get him to look. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to see mocking in Ben’s eyes. “Oi, look at me.”

Callum looked up finally and was pleased and a little surprised that he didn’t see distain there. “Well, I suppose I am talking to someone who names chickens, so ain’t exactly the weirdest thing in the house.”

Ben scoffed at that. “Habiba tried to use the barbeque to straighten her hair earlier, we spent two hours searching for Kat’s earring before discovering it was down her bra and Kush started speculating if we could eat charcoal,” he explained. “Putting some ears on the camera ain’t even the weirdest thing that’s happened today. Told you; fucking special.”

The bars seemed to mist away a little, and his throat became dry, suddenly conscious that he needed to swallow but felt like it would be the most conspicuous action in the world. He’s not sure anyone had ever said that about him before, not in a way where Callum believed them anyway.

It was a little too much. He didn’t want to think about what that meant. So he changed the subject. “That thing earlier,” he said, nodding towards the coffee table where the red envelope had sat. He didn’t want to make what he was saying too obvious. “You think ‘he’ did it on purpose.”

Ben nodded back at him. “My last few days in the house, and I’m spending it gnawing on a few grains of rice and listening to Habiba snivelling into her extensions. It seems it was written in the stars,” he replied, making it clear that he thought he was the target of Big Brother’s slight of hand.

“Just cause you’re up, it don’t mean you’ll go!” Callum replied, trying to reassure him or even speak it into existence. “There’s five of you; it could be anyone.”

Ben raised his eyebrows. “Oh yeah? Who would you vote to evict if you were on the outside? The lovely NHS doctor who had dedicated her life to caring for others, the single mum who won’t let anyone get her down, the sweet young woman who don’t know her arse from her elbow or the stacked guy with a heart of gold? Any of those? Or would the obvious choice be the ex-con who can’t keep his gob shut?”

“Well, when you put it like that you might as well pack your bag now. I’ll give you a boost over the wall if you like,” Callum said with a smile. “I’d keep you in if I was a viewer outside.”

“Yeah, well there might be a few people who are pulled in by my stunning personality and winning smile,” Ben responded with a grin. “Not enough though. Not that I don’t hate this place and the people in it with an intense passion.”

“You’ve got to work on your campaigning skills,” Callum said with a laugh, as he fluffed his couch cushion a little and snuggled down. “I’m not sure a statement like that will sweet talk the public.”

Ben gave a shrug and then went to lay down in his own sleeping bag. “No pleasing everyone is there? Sometimes you just have to be you. I’d rather do that than be something I’m not. At least I know it’s real.”

“Yeah,” Callum said quietly, as his eyes started to flutter shut. “Yeah. ‘Night, Ben.”

“Night,” he whispered back before there was a moment of silence. “I don’t hate everything in this place, you know.”

As Callum drifted off, those words helping to soothe him to sleep.

** Day Twelve **

When he blinked open his eyes the next morning, the light was just as harsh on Callum’s face, but now felt accelerated with the sun raging through the patio doors. He stumbled his body up and glanced towards the bars. Ben was gone. He rolled himself off the sofa pillows and stood up with a groan. It wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, even if he did go out like a light.

Picking up the couch cushions, he threw them back on the settee, giving them a small shove with his knee to get them into place. As he started to fold up the blanket, the bedroom door began to open on the other side of the bars.

Out of it appeared Kush, giving a large sigh and looking five years older than when he went to bed that night. “I swear they’ve got tiny little spikes on that floor that were digging into my spine all night,” he said, stretching his back and looking at the sleeping bag by the divide. “Himself decide to cosy up to the divide, did he? At least he didn’t have to hear Habiba’s teeth chattering all night.”

“He’s probably out doing the chickens,” Callum replied. “I’d ask if you want to do some training, but-“

“But there’s not enough room to swing a gnat this side of the divide?” Kush continued. “I can’t say having half a bowl of rice and beans and half an apple is exactly giving me enough energy to do anything.”

Callum nodded, subtly sliding the smoked salmon out of the fridge so the other man didn’t see. “ Yeah that sounds awful, mate. How you feeling anyway? ‘Bout Friday and that?”

Kush gave a long sigh. “I can’t say I don’t want to stay. I want to be here as long as I can. Rationed beans and all! I just feel like the longer I’m here the more I want to achieve, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that,” he said, sliding the pain au chocolat from the bread bin and hiding them under a tea towel. “You feel like you’re challenging yourself.”

“Well, I better go get the water that takes an hour to boil on the barbeque,” he said, looking longingly at the kettle Callum was holding. He wasn’t sure if Kush wanted to use it to heat water or to eat it.

Callum and Kush both wandered out into the garden. He watched the man set the barbecue alight as other members of that team started to stagger outside. First Kat in her leopard print negligee and dressing gown, yawning and then cursing when she remembered they couldn’t have a cup of tea. Ash soon followed full of praise towards Kush for breakfast, though he looked at her then the pot of boiled water in alarm. Finally, Habiba came out still wrapped in her sleeping bag.

Callum saw something in his periphery and turned to have his eyes meet a beak. His body jumped away quickly, and he was met with a cackle of laughter. “That’s not funny!” he said, giving Missy a glare as her carer poked her head further through the bars “I almost nutted her! I ain’t getting chucked out this place for having a punch up with chicken!”

Ben brought the chicken back, giving her a stroke. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you asked Big Brother to put these bars up just to stop you looking out for the chickens. I could set Ann on you. She’s a little thing. more than capable of slipping through a hole! Don’t make me let her out!”

“It’s just a coincidental cherry on the cake,” Callum replied. It didn’t feel like that though. He knew he was supposed to be happy. He wasn’t nominated, he had a comfy bed, all the food he could eat and no beaks near him. Something was missing though. “I’ve got at least four days where they can’t get their little feathers near me.”

“Well, after Friday it’ll just be you and them so don’t get too comfortable,” Ben replied. “I’ll be gone and you’ll be all on your own.”

He was right, and Callum didn’t want to think about it. He’d be left all on his own.

The second day of rice and beans seemed to hit the Green Team hard. It didn’t help lessen the guilt when Kat had her nose pressed up against the bars as Callum was cooking the bacon for breakfast. She was practically drooling onto the ground. He felt like he was waving a goat outside the T-Rex paddock at Jurassic Park. He wouldn’t call what Kat was doing a snarl, but there was a growl coming from somewhere. Possibly her stomach, at least he hoped so.

It had only been twenty four hours with rationed food, and the other team were flagging. Even Ash looked infuriated, pulling at a weed that crept through the concrete, trying to mutter words of consolation to Habiba who was nibbling on the last bean in her bowl.

Big Brother must have sensed that there was little entertainment in seeing half the house de-energised and quiet, as after lunch they sent through a task for though housemates to complete. Callum’s side had hardly been any livelier, despite having all the food and drink they could consume. Dotty seemed content to just sit back on her throne and let Isaac and Vnney flitter around her.

Isaac was particularly annoying that day, stepping up the bars and mocking everything about the other side. Making jokes about the rice and beans, laughing when Kush was under the cold shower and loudly and proudly describing his bed as like sleeping on a heavenly cloud. Callum had to admit it was comfortable, but it was more likely shipped in from Furniture Village than lowered down by angels. He supposed there was such as Removal Angels. There had to be celestial bakers because of angel cake, after all. Why not other jobs?

Either way, it was clear that at some point someone from the Green Team would eventually try and reach through the bars and try to rip out Issac's throat. He swore he saw Missy sharpen her beak on the wire. Tensions were high, but there was nothing happening. It was like there was a storm in the air, but no rain. Big Brother just couldn’t wait though. It wanted to try and start the thunder itself.

“For your task today you will have to paint a portrait of another housemate on your team. All easels and resources will be provided, and housemates will be rewarded later if Big Brother deems they have made enough effort,” Vinney read out from the task card.

It wasn’t the worst way to spend an afternoon, although Big Brother did have to issue a warning to not eat or inhale the paint when Habiba started to sniff it curiously. Callum chose to paint Vinney, trying to create the slight curve of his headphones. “It looks like he’s got a cock on his head!” Kat cackled out from the other side when they displayed the portraits. He noticed Ben’s wasn’t much better, and he appeared to have given Ash two faces. Still, they all completed the task and now just had to wait.

They all sat around impatiently waiting until the evening hit and they could get their prize. Callum’s side wasn’t as enthusiastic about the reward. They had all gorged themselves at lunch time, but the other side were literally counting down the minutes.

Finally, Big Brother announced for the Red Team to go to the storeroom. When Callum glanced in, he could see bottles of beer, cans of premixed spirits, and even a couple of bottles of prosecco. There were enormous cakes and buns, flaky pastries, stodgy pies and mini sliders. They had everything from juicy chicken wings to melting mozzarella sticks. They were already laden with food in the fridge and now they had received a feast that was even more decadent.

They all carried the food out of the storeroom, setting it up on the counter like a glorious buffet as Big Brother called the Green Team to collect their reward. Habiba scurried like a pole cat to their hatch as Dotty started to tuck in to her labelled vegan items. She’d pulled them towards her as if someone was going to swoop in and gobble up her vegetarian kebabs.

The shriek was the first clue that something was wrong. Although Habiba did tend to scream for a monotony of reasons. She emitted a loud scream just the day before when she noted a spot on her leg. The whole house heard it instantly. What was just a small insect bite, she claimed was scurvy from malnutrition after not eating properly for three hours.

This was much more of a wail though, as from the store hatch she pulled out a bottle of elderflower cordial and some dried fruit and nuts; just a bowl to share between them.

“No one react, okay?” Ash said, as they all had faces of fury that looked like they were going to explode at any moment. “That’s just what they want. It’s better than nothing, right?”

“Better than nothing?” Ben exclaimed, running his hands over his face. “They’ve got a pile of food over there and we’ve got a snack that even a squirrel would stick two paw fingers up at!”

“Come on, it ain’t so bad,” Isaac replied with a grin, stuffing his face with a swiss bun. “Look you almost got one whole nut each!”

“Oh trust me, I can make it so you only got one nut and all!” Kat spat back. “You just come a bit closer to those bars and I’ll drag your scrotum through it and leave you on the other side!”

Kush gave a large sigh, rubbing Kat consolingly on the back as she reached into the bowl and grabbed a couple of raisins, throwing them into her mouth and chewing and glaring at the same time. “Shouldn’t we share them out rather than just help ourselves?” Habiba said, pulling the bowl towards her. “It might be the only food we get until Kush burns the rice and beans.”

“Yeah, thanks for that, Habs,” he said with sigh. “It’s hardly worth splitting is it? Why don’t we just all take a handful each?”

“That seems fair enough,” Ash remarked.

“It’s not fair at all!” Habiba continued. “What if I get only sultanas and almonds, and Kat gets an apricot!”

There was a sudden clatter as Ben kicked the bars and they rattled the house. “I can’t be arsed with this. I’m going to bed,” he mumbled before stamping into the bedroom.

“Ben!” Callum called out, before the door slammed.

There was an awkward silence between the housemates now, as just the sound of Vinney gnawing his way through the chicken wings was audible. “Should we go take him a macadamia nut?” Habiba asked, still holding the bowl close to her. “It might cheer him up a little.”

Callum shook his head a little. “Nah, just leave him be, Habs. It ain’t exactly been the best day so far.”

When he went to bed that night, Ben still hadn’t come out of the bedroom. It was so frustrating being stuck on this side of the bars and not being able to go into the other room.

As with the night before, it was empty and lonely in the other room. Even after almost two weeks spending twenty four hours a day with each other, it still felt like he was stuck in a bedroom with strangers. Even if he had Kat or Kush in here, he’d feel more comfortable. Hell, even Ash provided a momentum of comfort, and also quick medical care if Missy came and tried to stab him in his sleep. He was sure she sat in her coop at night, whittling a shiv and planning how to end the life of the person who took away some of her human pet’s time.

In reality though, they were all strangers. What was eleven days? Nothing in comparison to life. It was a drop of water in an ocean; nothing substantial or special could legitimately be gained, learned or felt during that time. That was the reality of it. It didn’t matter if he was stuck in this room with Isaac who he wasn’t even sure knew his name, or Kat who would embrace him in a big cuddle if she saw he was upset. They were all strangers. None of them knew him. Now of them really saw who he was.

That didn’t quite explain the reason why a few seconds later he got up out of his bed and walked slowly towards the door. It was just to get a glass of water, he told himself. Just to make sure he had a drink before he got properly comfortable, in case Big Brother locked the bedroom door during the night. All he wanted was a glass of water.

Callum’s mood fell when he saw that the main house remained empty. Everyone on the other side of the divide had gone to bed as well, and tonight Ben had clearly decided to stay in there. It stung a little, the fact that he walked away to a place that Callum couldn’t go to or see him. He didn’t like it here without him. It was almost like he wasn’t in the house anymore, and there was a sinking feeling in Callum’s body that he could be living with that reality at the end of the week.

Ben was so sure he was going to go, that he would face eviction and walk out those doors. He didn’t even want to think about it right now. Instead, Callum walked over to Pixar and started to adjust his bunny ears. It seemed like he was still mad at him though, as he kept whirring his head round and trying to shake him off. “Stop wriggling, they’re staying on whether you like it or not. You can’t get rid of something that easily. You just can’t.”

Walking over to the sofa, he pulled the sofa cushions of the settee again and grabbed a blanket. He threw them on the floor by the bars, giving them a small shuffle with his foot to straighten them before he dropped the blanket down on them. Callum told himself he may as well sleep out here; his bed wasn’t offering him any comfort and he couldn’t bear just laying there in the dark all alone for the remainder of the night.

In a way, he supposed he was alone in here as well, just Pixar for company. He was now wildly trying to shake off his ears, flinging his head up and down in the effort to dislodge them. It wasn’t working though, and Callum imagined that he’d have the hump with him for the rest of the night. Just because he was given something to brighten him up a little.

Apart from the little camera, it wasn’t as though this was a more comforting space to sleep. Worryingly, he was closer to the chickens, so that would give Missy less of a journey to cut his throat once she lowered herself down from the ceiling on a Mission Impossible style bungee rope. He could see the door to the Green Team’s bedroom though. They were all there, sleeping on the other side of the divide. If he could just squeeze through the bars, he’d be able to walk in there. Going without food wasn’t something that Callum felt he’d like to do. But feeling empty and alone was considerably worse.

Remembering why he came out, he walked over to the kitchen, intent to pour himself a glass of water. Instead though, he found himself reaching into the fridge and grabbing out one of the many beers that were stacked in there. It would have been impossible for them to get through all the alcohol provided by Big Brother as a reward for their task. Even Isaac could only drink so much before he was ushered off to bed by Dotty. He had looked longingly back at a can of rum and coke, possibly wondering why he let his life be dictated by a woman ten years younger than him that he barely knew. That was his problem though, Callum thought. We all make our choices.

Clicking the bottle lid off on the corner of the counter, he took a long swig, his hand slipping on the condensation that was building on the glass surface. If nothing else, it might help him get to sleep.

_“This is Big Brother. Would Callum please come to the Diary Room.”_

Giving a sigh, he headed towards the door. They were probably calling him in to tell him to go back into the bedroom; that he wasn’t supposed to be sleeping on a couple of stinky sofa cushions on the hard floor when they had provided him with a perfectly capable and comfortable bed in the other room. A little hint of rebellion sneaked in. He wouldn’t leave and go back to the bedroom. He was entitled to walk around the house. They couldn’t make him sleep in that bed. Well, he didn’t think so, it was probably in the rules somewhere. Ben would know.

Either that or Pixar had snitched on him about the ears. He’d be disappointed in the little camera if that happened; if he had gone and complained to the powers up above, just because Callum wanted to make him look like a bunny.

Sitting down in the chair, he took his bottle in with him, before changing his mind and putting it just outside the door. They wouldn’t let him keep it in there in case he doused the chair in beer. It’s not as though you can easily replace a huge blue and gold custom made chair that easily. Someone would notice if he just threw a cushion over it like he did at home.

“Hi Big Brother,” he said as he sat down and swung his legs round to make himself more comfortable. It was actually quite relaxing. He wondered if they’d let him sleep in there.

_“Good evening, Callum. How has your day been?”_

“A bit mixed I guess,” he started to say, thinking back through the day. “Obviously it was nice to have a little task and get a reward for that, but it ain’t so nice when you’re seeing the other team struggling. It’s hard enough in here anyway, not having a decent kip or proper food to eat really don’t help.”

_“What do you find hardest about the Big Brother house, Callum?”_

Leaning back a little, he thought it through. He knew the clear answer and the one everyone was expecting, so he went with that, not wanting to rock any boats or have eyebrows raised. “Obviously we don’t get to see our families so, yeah, massively missing everyone on the outside of course.”

It was a lie. He was good at those. At identifying what someone wanted to hear and then being able to get away with saying it, even if it wasn’t true. It was almost second nature sometimes. The lie came more naturally than the truth, as though his brain was searching for the most acceptable answer automatically rather than the right one.

It wasn’t as though he didn’t miss his family though. Of course he did, he loved his family and friends. Maybe it was due to his time in the army, but he was used to being without them. He was used to being on his own with no immediate way to contact them. Callum knew he should have been talking about Whitney throughout the days. That’s what Steve did with his wife. Although to be fair, there was very little that Steve didn’t talk about in any given hour.

It just wasn’t Callum though. He loved her so much, and that hadn’t gone anywhere. He just didn’t feel that he needed her in the same way as he did when he was on the outside. It was easier than he thought to live without her. She was and always would be in his head. She just wasn’t at the front of it.

_“There are five housemates up for eviction at the end of the week, Callum. Who do you think will leave the Big Brother house?”_

He stopped to think for a little on this question. It was very different to asking who he wanted to leave. Ben felt so certain that he would be out by the end of the week. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t been rational when explaining his thoughts either. He’d made convincing points. Callum just couldn’t imagine him walking up those stairs and disappearing out the house though. Or maybe he just didn’t want to think it possible. That people could actively try and take him away from the house. It was possible though. Wasn’t that exactly what Callum had tried to do with his nomination the week before?

“I think it’s gonna be a really close one. Everyone over the other side is really decent, and they all deserve to stay,” he answered diplomatically.

_“Who do you want to stay, Callum?”_

That was the question he didn’t want to get. This one he knew the answer for immediately. Callum knew that Big Brother knew as well. “I definitely get on well with Kush. He’s a great guy and I enjoy our little training sessions; they help the body and mind which is really important in here. Kat’s really loving; she’s a lovely lady and great company. I’d miss her laugh if she weren’t here. Ash is a real smart cookie, she’d never say a proper bad word to anyone. Then there’s Habs, who always brightens up the day,” he said, almost in one breath, feeling that if he was going to be honest, he at least had to be balanced with it. “But Ben. I want Ben to stay.”

_“Why do you want Ben to stay out of all your housemates?”_

This was a crossroads. Perhaps it was the late hour, maybe it was the couple of swigs of beer he had just then that flamed the alcohol that was already swimming around from earlier, or perhaps it was because he hadn’t seen Ben for six hours now, their longest time apart, and he was the only thing that was on his mind. The one image that stuck itself to the front of his brain and wouldn’t move all that time he was out of view. Perhaps it was a combination of all those things. But for some reason, for once, Callum told the truth.

“Because I feel lost without him in here.”

He didn’t go on to explain any further, and the lump building a little in his throat suggested that he wouldn’t dare to go on for fear of what reaction he may give away. That seemed to be enough for Big Brother though. Whatever he had said, it was what they wanted.

_“Thank you, Callum. You are now free to leave the Diary Room. Have a good night’s sleep.”_

Muttering his thanks, he pushed open the door, picking up his beer bottle on the way. He took another swig to calm himself as he made his way down the short corridor that led back into the main house. There were mixed feelings with what he had confessed. On the one hand, it was comforting to finally get those words out and be truthful, even if he was just admitting it to himself. On the other hand, regret soured through him about being so open and raw with his answer. At least it did until he opened the door.

Back in his spot by the bars was Ben, sitting on top of his sleeping bag, cursing and muttering to a bottle of elderflower cordial. “Late night drink?” Callum asked, as Big Brother opened the door in the bars that led to his side of the divide.

Ben looked up at him and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m gonna get wasted on a bottle of juice. What the fuck is an elderflower anyway?” he replied, as Callum came and sat directly opposite on the sofa cushions he put out earlier. It felt intimate; they were so close, even if the bars did give the appearance of distance.

“I think it’s a little white flower. Grow in the countryside and that, don’t they?” Callum replied, looking on with amusement as Ben grew more irate with the drink. “It won’t just screw off. It needs a bottle opener.”

“Oh really? Well that’s a big help, thank you, Callum,” Ben said with a glare. It just made him grin even more back at the other man though. He could tell he didn’t mean it. “Funnily enough I did think about that! Can I just remind you though that Kush had to use a stick to stir the rice earlier; you really think we got fancy utensils? Do you think there’s a bottle opener and an ice cream machine hiding behind the one beanbag we’ve got to sit on between three of us?”

“Alright! Point taken!” Callum replied, smiling even though he was the target of the rant. “Give it here then, I’ll open it for you.”

Ben passed the bottle through the bars, just about managing to squeeze it through. Callum took it, knocked it against the edge of the metal in front of him, lifting the cap off, and passing it back through.

“I almost forgot about your little party trick. I could watch you do that all day,” Ben said before tipping the bottle back and taking a swig. He winced and screwed up his eyes in disgust. “Urgh, that is the worst thing I’ve ever had in my mouth, and I’ve pulled at some of the roughest service stations on the M25!”

“Ben! It’s a cordial! You’re supposed to add water to it, not chuck it back neat!” Callum replied, as Ben continued to gasp away like he was bringing up a furball.

“You could add a magnum of champagne to that, it’s still going to taste of ferret’s piss,” he said, shuddering at the flavor. “Who in their right mind traipse out to some hedgerow in the middle of nowhere to milk one of those bastards?”

“It’s a flower, you don’t milk it, you-“ Callum said, before stopping and thinking. “I don’t really know what they do to it. Well anyway, why don’t you get some water and dilute it down a bit. Might taste better.”

“Nah, I need the taste of that out and replaced with something better,” Ben replied, before quickly thrusting his arm through the bars and grabbing the bottle of beer out of Callum’s hands. He took it to his mouth and gulped it down almost in one go. “That’s much better!”

“You can’t do that!” Callum replied, his mouth open in shock and his hand still raised where it had been holding the bottle. “You ain’t allowed to have anything that Big Brother gives to our side!”

“I couldn’t help myself,” Ben replied with a smile, putting the bottle down. “I just looked over and was too tempted at what I was seeing.”

“Yeah, well you need to control yourself,” Callum said back, pulling the bottle over back to their side, as if that would make a difference. “We’re gonna get in trouble for this. Don’t blame me when Habiba starts complaining when they’ve taken her lipstick away for something we did!”

Ben gave a long sigh and then turned to catch Callum’s eyes. He caught them. Easily and fully, and he didn’t seem to want to let go. “I’m tired of controlling myself every minute of every day in here, Callum. Ain’t you?”

“I don’t think I am. I’m just living how I normally do,” he lied. Though he broke away from Ben’s eyes as he said it.

“Oh yeah, a real open book, you,” Ben said before chewing at his lip thoughtfully. “You are right though. We are going to get told off for that, so now that cherry’s popped, we might as well go in deep!”

With that, Ben leapt up and started to head towards the patio door. Callum sat still for a second, wondering if he was coming back. He glanced over towards Pixar who was ignoring him, refusing to help in any way. His anger didn’t seem that serious when he was dressed as a fluffy rabbit though.

Callum stood up and tentatively started to head outside, his eyes immediately catching on to Ben’s plan. “What are you doing? You can’t do this!”

Ben had just finished pushing the table up against the bars, jumping up onto it quickly. He pulled himself up and over the wire fence, dropping down with a thud on Callum’s side. “What you gonna do about it then? Who are you today then, Callum? A soldier that’s going to physically restrain me or a bartender who’s gonna get me a drink?”

While he was talking, Ben had walked right up to him, just inches away. Callum fought the urge to bring him closer, to hold him near in a way that the bars had prevented. It wasn’t something he had ever done, and that just made him want to do it more, especially when the option was denied. It just made it more enticing and his fingers were almost trembling by his side at the pure tension of keeping them in place and not reaching out.

Ben was still though, waiting for what Callum was going to say. He realised that Ben was waiting for Callum’s consent to stay over this side. “There’s a load of beer in the fridge. Come on.”

They both walked inside towards the kitchen. Callum was surprised that Big Brother hadn’t called out yet, warning Ben to go back over the other side.

“Well, I was hoping you’d offer the physical restraint,” Ben said, giving him a little knock with his elbow as they were walking. “Would have quite liked a little late night frisk and pat down.”

“I was in the army in Afghanistan, Ben, not working the security desk at Heathrow,” he replied, opening up the fridge and looking inside. “You want beer? There’s still some of those soppy pre-mixed cans if you fancy one of those?”

“Alright, so you weren’t in charge of body searches. What did you use to do to the enemy? Waggle your big bayonet at them?” he asked with a grin, before his face fell. Callum couldn’t take his eyes away from the fridge where they were just fuzzily focusing on the label of the cheese. Ben seemed to sense, just seemed to know. “I’m only messing. Here, chuck us one of those mojito cans. There’s mint in that, ain’t there? I might be able to get the taste of hedge out my mouth.”

Callum passed him out a can, closing the fridge door. “You want something to eat? Might as well as you’re here anyway.”

“Thank god!” Ben said, clicking out the ring pull of his drink. “I’m starving. I woke up earlier to find out Habiba had balanced an apricot on my nose, and that was the highlight of my day. Apart from this of course.”

Ben didn’t waste time and tucked into the leftover buffet that was still sitting on the counter. Callum joined him, happily tucking into a mini pizza as Ben demolished the remaining sliders and some other food he had piled on his plate. “I could have heated them up if you had wanted,” he explained.

“I couldn’t wait that long,” he said licking his fingers. “You know when you really fancy something and just want it right at that moment.”

Callum just smiled back, lowering his head slightly when he felt his blush creep up. “What do you think they’re going to do to us as punishment?” he asked.

“I couldn’t care less!” Ben replied. “They’ve literally taken away everything in this place that makes me remotely happy apart from the hens. What they gonna do? Shove them in a chicken and mushroom pie?”

Callum was thinking more of a chicken and leek one. Some pancetta to flavour and full butter puff pastry; it would go down nicely. “They’ll end up punishing the whole house some how.”

“Good!” Ben replied, wiping his hands on his shirt as he finished the last burger, then walking towards the wall. “Rather them than us! I don’t think your camera’s looking too pleased about this headband.”

Callum looked to where Ben was standing and saw that Pixar was whining furiously, still trying to knock the item off. “It’s a pair of bunny ears! It’s cute! Who don’t look cute in a pair of bunny ears?”

Ben lifted the headband off the camera which whirred thankfully back at him, and placed them on his own head. He started to walk back towards Callum. “What d’ya think then?”

“Like I said, everyone looks cute in bunny ears,” he replied laughing as he lifted his hand up to wiggle one of the long ears. His laughter soon stopped though when he saw how Ben was looking at him. How his chest was visibly raising with every breath, how his eyes were darkening and darting between Callum’s eyes and his mouth and how his tongue was darting out and wetting his lips slightly. When his eyes caught in the reflection in the mirror, Callum realised he was doing exactly the same.

_“This is Big Brother. Would Ben please go back to his side of the house via the gate by the diary room.”_

That broke Callum out of the moment and he took a step back and Ben huffed in annoyance. “That there! That’s what they do to punish me!” he said stomping his way to the gate.

Callum wasn’t sure which part Ben meant; the announcement timing or the request to go back to the other side of the divide. He was able to breathe again a little, now there was the barrier between them. That frightened him a little. How quickly he’d got caught in Ben’s tidal wave when there wasn’t the bars between them. It was dangerous.

Settling down on his makeshift bed, he watched as Ben climbed into his sleeping bag, shuffling down and making himself comfortable. “What?” he asked, when he noticed Callum looking at him with a smile.

“Nothing,” Callum said, not being able to articulate the words. They were all there in his head. He could see them all floating around, but they weren’t in any order. Yet. “’Night, Ben.”

Ben mumbled, poking his toes out his sleeping bag and through the bars and gently brushing his foot against Callum’s own. Only for the briefest of seconds before he pulled it back under his cover.

It was the smallest gesture, but he could still feel the touch ghosting along his toes. Curling up on the cushions, he fell asleep to that sensation and the image of Ben in front of him, snuggled in his sleeping bag, with only the forgotten bunny ears poking out of the cover.

**Day Thirteen**

Callum couldn’t say he wasn’t more than a little anxious throughout the next day. When he woke up, he couldn’t help but think about how he and Ben and broken the rules the night before. Well, he supposed Ben had been the one to break them. Although he didn’t exactly discourage him. He didn’t want to discourage him.

There was the fact that the rules had been broken though. There was going to be some kind of retribution. Both he and Ben were up early as usual, and Callum could tell that they were both expecting the house to be called to the sofa during the early hours. There was nothing though, not then, not when the rest of the housemates rose from their beds, not at lunchtime and not in the afternoon. Nothing.

However, that didn’t mean he didn’t almost jump out of his skin every time Big Brother called Isaac to the diary room or every time they made an announcement to tell Habiba she’d forgotten to put her microphone on again. Every single time, he felt sure they were going to gather them all together and let them know.

Though Callum knew he would never admit it, Ben seemed a little guilty today. It wasn’t about the actual act, or the repercussions that may befall the group. Callum knew it was because he had eaten well the previous day and the rest of his team were having pangs of hunger. He saw Ben turn away his bowl of rice and beans (“Nah, it’s fine. Got a bit of a dicky tummy today.”), and give Kat his apple and Habiba his pear.

By the time the evening had rolled around, he had almost gained hope that Big Brother hadn’t cared about their rule break, that it just wasn’t important enough. What an idiot he was.

_“This is Big Brother. Would all Red Team housemates gather on the sofa immediately and all Green Team housemates gather on the beanbags.”_

“Oh God, what have you done this time?” Habiba moaned, giving Ben a swipe with her hand as she plonked herself unceremoniously down on a beanbag and gradually began to sink lower and lower. “The only think I have left that they can take away is the photo of me when I followed Olly Murs into that garden centre. I got a selfie with the back of his head before I fell into those begonias.”

“Why does everyone always assume its going to me?” Ben exclaimed, though his little wink at Callum suggested he knew his protestations were soon to be debunked. “I’ve been on my best behaviour!”

“Yeah but saying you’re on your best behaviour is like the wolf wanting praise for only eating two out of the three little pigs.” Dotty replied from across the divide.

Ben snorted at that. “That ain’t bad for you, Dotty,” he commented back. “Don’t give up a promising future as a dark hearted monster for a career in comedy though, eh?”

_“This is Big Brother. At 1.14am this morning-“_

Callum took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for everyone’s eyes to be back on him. Perhaps Pixar would finally forgive him for the ears, though he was currently turned towards the housemates sitting next to him.

_“In a conversation between Dotty and Vinney in the bedroom, the following was said by Vinney. “Well annoying that there’s no nominations this week, innit?”_

Oh. Well this was going differently than Callum planned. He looked towards Ben who simply shrugged towards him. They’d gotten away with it.

_“Dotty replied: “Well we’ve got one of them up. We were always going to nominate him anyway. Shame about the other one.” Big Brother takes any and all rule breaking seriously and reminds housemates that the discussion of past or future nominations is strictly forbidden. As a result of Dotty and Vinney’s rule break, the house will be without hot water for the next twenty four hours and the outdoor shower will be out of use.”_

“Eww!” Habiba shrieked. “Are they saying I can’t wash at all? That’s it, I’m climbing in the pot on the barbeque and letting the water heat around me! I’m not going around all day stinking like a sweaty bin filled with rubbish juice!”

Ben started tutting. “Dear, dear me. See what you’ve done, Dotty?” Ben grinned across the bars at the young woman who had a face like thunder. “You’re going to force Habs to poach herself!”

_“Also, all alcohol remaining from the reward yesterday will be removed from the house.”_

Isaac suddenly sat up with a start. “What? We earned that!” he shouted out before turning to Vinney and Dotty. “You couldn’t have kept your mouths shut?”

Dotty just rolled her eyes at the meagre attempt at rebellion. “You were part of that conversation as well! Big Brother may not have read the rest out, but I can recite it word for word if you like!” she responded with a questioning scowl. Isaac simply shook his head and slunk back onto the sofa as the others started to stand up and move away. The garden was locked and the blind down, so there weren’t many places they could go.

_“Housemates are also reminded that they should stay to their side of the divide and not pass items through the bars without Big Brother’s consent.”_

The housemates sat back down, confusion covering their faces. Well, all but two of their faces.

_“At 1.12am this morning, Ben passed a bottle of elderflower cordial through the divide to Callum. At 1.15am Ben reached through the divide to take and consume a bottle of beer. At 1.23am Ben moved a table from the garden next to the fence and climbed over the other side of the divide. At 1.27am Callum gave Ben an alcoholic can of drink which was consumed. At 1.30am Ben consumed three beef burger sliders, one mini pizza, a pork pie, one cinnomen whirl, one alcoholic can of drink and half a Chelsea bun. At 1.53am Ben returned to the other side of the divide taking a pair of rabbit ears with him.”_

There was a brief silence as Big Brother paused. Yeah, all eyes were definitely on them now. Callum wondered how they were going to punish the whole house. Habiba was right, there wasn’t much left they could take.

_“As a result of this persistent rule breaking, Big Brother is sending both Ben and Callum to jail until further notice. They should immediately make their way to the garden. Callum, the gate by the diary room will be open for you to make your way to the other side of the divide.”_

“What do they mean jail?” Kat asked, her nose wrinkled as she peered at the blind. “They ain’t suddenly moved Belmarsh north of the Thames have they?”

“It’s eating a few burgers and climbing a fence,” Kush clarified, though Callum could hear the disappointment in his voice and saw how Ben didn’t look him in the eye. “They ain’t gonna lock them in handcuffs and shackles, are they?”

“Wouldn’t mind if they did,” Ben replied, before slapping his legs and standing up. “Right come on then, Sundance. Let’s go face music.”

Callum moved to go to the gate when he suddenly stopped and thought it through. Quickly running into the bedroom, he grabbed a couple of jumpers, before he dashed into the kitchen, picking up a few supplies and stopping to throw a blanket from the sofa over his arms. Finally, he pushed through the gate and made his way over to the other side of the divide.

The blind was lifting and Callum heard the patio door click open. They didn’t have to go looking far for the jail. Up near the shower was a section penned off with bars. There wasn’t much room in it, just enough to squeeze in and sit down.

“Well, I guess it’s good that we’re not allowed a shower in a way,” Ash mentioned to Habiba. “The water would have run straight into the cage. Jail! Sorry! Jail. It looks nothing like a cage whatsoever.”

Ben rolled his eyes as Habiba squealed her protest. “We’re up for eviction tomorrow night, Ash!” she said, as if any of them could forget. “By the time Big Brother turns the water back on we’re going to have barely any time whatsoever to get ready! I’m going to be evicted like some matted old street cat!”

Callum opened the door to the jail, stepping in and squeezing into the corner, sitting down and giving Ben room to curl up beside him. Pulling the door closed, they both heard a click. They really couldn’t go anywhere unless Big Brother allowed it.

Habiba and Ash spent a little time talking to them, but they soon grew tired and the wind was picking up, making a harsh chill in the summer air. Callum passed Ben over one of his jumpers, which he looked at in surprise, before pulling over his head, the sleeves falling well below his fingers. Pulling on his own hoodie, Callum then tried to unravel the blanket as best he could in the confined space, pulling it over both their knees and tucking it in. He turned to find Ben grinning at him. “What?”

“Just like actual prison! I can’t mention the number of times that the warden came along and tucked us in with a blanket that looked like it was pulled from the carcass on an anaemic bear,” he said with a laugh.

Callum licked his lips, and gave Ben a gentle nudge with his elbow. “What was it like?” he asked softly.

Ben gave a shrug before reaching beside him and pulling out something. “You ask questions like that, you got to wear the ears!”

Callum sighed as he took the blue bunny ears and put them on, trying to fit them without messing up his hair. “How’s it look?”

“Everyone looks cute in bunny ears, don’t they?” he replied with a sweet smile. He paused for a minute, almost trying to find his words. “Scary. It was scary but you couldn’t show it.”

“Bit like the army that,” he replied. “Though I suppose that was all my own fault. I went willingly.”

“I didn’t go willingly, but it were all my fault,” Ben replied, picking at his fingers. He shook it off quickly though, almost not letting it pull him down any further. “Right, time to eat!”

Reaching down beside him again, he pulled out his packet of liquorice. Callum just laughed, reaching for a few biscuits that he had brought in with him. Ben offered him a piece of the confectionery. “Nah, I don’t like liquorice,” he said. Ben went to open his mouth, but Callum cut him off before he got the chance to speak. “I ain’t wearing it either, so you can get that idea out your head!”

“Spoilt sport,” he replied, knocking his knee against Callum’s where they sat against each other under the blanket. He didn’t move it back, just leaving it there and it was as if the area they were joined was swaddled in warmth and calm. “To be fair, I have eaten most the packet and I’ve got a feeling you’d need more than that. Like a lot more.”

Callum cleared his throat. “If you could have three wishes, what would they be?” he asked, the question being the first words he was able to quickly hurl from his mouth.

Ben looked at him with his eyebrows raised, but he didn’t seem thrown by the non-sequitur of the question. “Any three wishes, at this exact moment in time?” he clarified, before going back to thinking through his answer. “I’d have to go with a pint, a pie and shag. Not necessarily in that order.”

Callum leant back and looked at him curiously. “You could have any three things in the world, and those would be it? You had two of them last night!”

“You said three wishes at this moment in time! I’m stuck in the Big Brother house, what am I supposed to ask for?” Ben reiterated, picking at the faux fur on the blanket. “I could ask for a Roller, but I can hardly drive it around the garden, can I? It’s not as we’ve even got a lawn over this side!”

“Fair enough, you couldn’t fit a car in here, but there must be something else you want? Something a bit more ambitious,” he suggested.

“Like what? Money? Unless we’re going to eat it, that ain’t gonna come in handy! I ain’t about to ask for world peace or for all the fluffy baby penguins to be saved!” he explained. “I’m stuck in a tiny cage with you. The only three things I want and need that I don’t have right at this moment, things that are actually achievable, are a pint, a pie and a shag. Although it is a bit cramped in here. We might have to be a bit creative on that count.”

Callum could feel himself swallowing as his throat dried up. He couldn’t ignore the implication that was there, that was said loudly and clearly and made him want to run away. That’s what he would usually do at this point. Run away. “Well you’d have to have a fourth wish, wouldn’t you?” he stuttered out, as he continued to clear his throat. “Cause you’d need a fella in here for that stuff, wouldn’t you? The last one I mean. You wouldn’t need him for the pie or the pint, I guess.”

“Callum,” Ben started to say, reaching over and putting his hand on his arm.

“Did I tell you that Whitney makes clothes?” he spat out quickly, needing to change the subject. “Right good she is, got her own little business going. She’s proper amazing. I could never be that creative, could you? Well, I guess we know how good our artistic skills are from that task yesterday.”

For as long as Callum kept talking, he knew that Ben couldn’t. That he couldn’t let anything fall from his lips that they wouldn’t be able to take back. Once something was out, there was no going back. “Look, I didn’t mean to-“ Ben started.

“You didn’t do nothing!” Callum replied loudly and quickly, shrugging the hand on his arm off. “Just drop it would you? Let’s talk about something else.”

Ben gave a shake of his head and started to grind at his teeth. “There’s no need to suddenly throw a wobbly and get mad at me-“

“I ain’t mad!” he replied angrily. “I just want to drop it!”

Giving a roll of his eyes, Ben looked back at him. “Well you are mad, because you’re doing those little dragon snorts out your nose when you breathe. You always do those when you’re annoyed or mad about something,” he remarked. Callum just turned his head away to look out the other way across the garden. He didn’t want to say anything else. He didn’t know what to say. “Fine. Sit there and not talk all night. This’ll be fun.”

Callum spent the next half an hour looking in the opposite direction. He couldn’t say anything when he was like this. He was afraid of what may spill out of his mouth as well as Ben’s. Sometimes the best option was to say nothing at all and just play it safe.

It didn’t escape his notice when a little while later Ben’s hand snaked a little under the cover and landed on his knee. Callum didn’t knock it off or draw attention to it, but at the same time he still didn’t look back towards Ben. So he just left it there, hidden from view. That didn’t mean that he didn’t feel it, or that it wasn’t real. He just couldn’t acknowledge it. He didn’t know how.

A short time after that, there was a sudden pressure on his arm. Ben had dozed off at some point and his head had now fallen onto Callum’s shoulder. He supposed he could give him a little shove the other way, lean him up against the bars on the other side, but he didn’t want to. Callum liked having him there. He’d fallen there by himself, it wasn’t deliberate so he could stay. It was allowed.

There was the sound of the patio door opening, and Kush came strolling outside, giving a little shiver when the air hit him. “Look at you two snuggled in a blanket!” he said, approaching the cage. “Two of the most hardened criminals, if ever I saw them!”

Callum gave a little laugh. “I’m sorry about that, mate. About the food, I mean,” he confessed. No matter what, he didn’t want Kush to think badly of them. “It was selfish of us. I could have stopped him, but I never. It’s on me really.”

“Mate, you think if I was in your position that Kat wouldn’t try and snuffle up any crumbs I sent her way?” he said with a chuckle. “She’d be over that fence by hook or by crook, even if she had to gnaw her way through it! Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks, Kush,” he said with a smile, his stomach settling a little better now. “How you feeling about tomorrow? What with you being up, and Kat as well?”

Kush exhaled audibly. Callum could see how close they had become over the last two weeks. “I ain’t going to lie mate, the odds are against us. With two of us up, it ain’t unlikely that one of us will go,” he explained, his eyes sad at the prospect. “What about you and Rip Van Winkle here? You gonna be alright if he’s out?”

Callum gave a little glance down at Ben. His face was peaceful and he could feel soft warm breath on his arm through his hoodie. Ben’s eyelashes fluttered slightly in his dreamland, and the freckles on his nose seemed to be kissed by the moonlight. “Don’t really want to imagine it to be honest, mate,” he confessed. “I know he’s like a bit like a Jack Russell struck with cabin fever sometimes, but I like talking to him. I like him.”

“Well you know if he goes you always got me and Kat, yeah?” he offered, and it was then that Callum realised that Ben was their best shot at staying in together. He was the most likely one that would be out, and lead to them both remaining in the house. “You can talk to us anytime, mate.”

“Yeah, thanks Kush,” he replied as the other man stood up and gave a smile. On his way back in the house he passed Ash who was bringing out two cups.

Carefully making her way to the cage, the young doctor put the mugs down in the ground and slid them towards the bars. “We got a lemon in with our fruit today, so we boiled up some water with it,” she explained quietly, once she noticed Ben was asleep. “It’s not much, but it’s warm and thought you might like something stuck out here in the cold.”

“Thanks Ash, that’s really good of you,” he said, leaning forward just slightly and getting the cup from the ground. Ben didn’t wake, just nuzzled his face further into Callum’s hoodie.

“Is part of your punishment to wear those ears, or are you going for some animal protection protest as you’re stuck in a cage?” she said with a laugh.

Callum had forgotten he was even wearing them. They were strangely comfortable. He didn’t know why Pixar was complaining so much. He reached up with his other hand, taking them off and passing them through the bars. “Go on, give them a try!” he laughed. “They’re very freeing.”

Ash looked at him sceptically and put them on her head, before leaning back with a smile. “I feel like a new woman!” she chuckled.

“How you feeling about tomorrow?” he asked. He honestly wasn’t sure what her answer would be. She was such a closed book; he couldn’t really tell if she wanted to stay or go.

“Can I be honest?” she asked, and Callum nodded his head in confirmation. “I feel like I haven’t been myself in here yet. I’d like some more time really, but I don’t know if it’s going to happen. I don’t know if I really fit in.”

Callum opened his mouth to speak, trying to think how to phrase his sentence diplomatically. “Maybe just be yourself a little more,” he advised. “Do and say what you want, rather than what you want people to hear. Don’t sit on the fence or play it safe. You’re gonna have to make a choice eventually. It should be on your terms.”

“You know I’m not like this on the outside,” she confessed. “My family don’t really get on with me. I’m everything they think I shouldn’t be. I’m independent with my career, with my views, with my relationships. I find it so easy to stand up to them and tell them exactly what I think. Why can’t I be like that in here?”

Callum gave a little shrug. “Well you’re being watched all the time, ain’t you? You’re stuck with people you don’t know and don’t know how they’re going to react. It’s so easy to try and please everyone, and all you end up doing is making everyone unhappy. Especially yourself.”

Ash gave a smile and nodded before reaching up and taking off the ears. “Wise words,” she said, before stopping. “If you don’t mind me saying though, Callum, they are one’s that I hope you listen to yourself. We’ve all got to make choices in life. Don’t go for what you think is easy, or what you should do. You know the right choice. It’s not always the easiest or the one you imagined, but it’ll be the best. Use the bunny ears of wisdom to help if you need to!”

She handed them back to him through the bars before standing up and heading inside.

“ _This is Big Brother. Callum and Ben are now free to leave the jail and return to the house. Callum, you must go through the gate by the Diary Room and back into your part of the house immediately.”_

The announcement seemed to have roused Ben from his sleep, but the nap must have just frayed his temper. He gave a quick glance towards Callum as he rubbed his eyes, before standing up and pushing the door, exciting the cage as soon as he realised it was unlocked. Callum wasn’t far behind him, leaving everything outside apart from the bunny ears. He followed close behind but it was clear that Ben wasn’t in the mood for talking. That became evident when he went into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him, making all the other housemates jump in the process.

Callum snorted heavily through his nostrils before marching to the gate, giving it a harsh shove so it clattered back through onto the bars as he went through. He did the same with the second gate, and then his bedroom door as he made his way in, giving it a forceful kick to loudly close it behind him, before flinging himself onto his bed.

Digging his nose into his pillow, he tried to control and slow his breathing. He wasn’t even sure who he was angry at. Himself more than anyone, he suspected. There was still a sand timer hanging over his head though, reminding him that Ben could be gone by this time tomorrow. Callum sat up, and placed the bunny ears over Steve’s Stetson on his bedside table. He’d made a choice. He wasn’t going to talk to Ben until he spoke to him first. And if that meant the other man was evicted before they uttered a word, then so be it. Callum could live with that.

He was sure he could.

**Eviction Night**

There had been a part of him that was confident that Ben would speak first. Callum thought he wouldn’t be able to help himself, even if it was a snarling word. There was nothing though.

Callum had slept in his own bed that night, and he was sure that Ben slept in the other bedroom rather than by the bars. It wasn’t as though he got a lot of sleep though, and by the time he dragged himself up that morning, most other people were up and looking at him suspiciously.

There wasn’t any reason to speak to Ben. They were on different sides of the house and could easily distance themselves from each other. They barely even looked at each other, choosing to avoid glances or acknowledging each other at all. The time to get ready for eviction came around quickly and for the few hours before, both housemates were locked in their team bedrooms.

When Callum came out of the room, once Big Brother had finally unlocked the door and started playing the recorded crowd noise into the house, he gave his clean shirt and jeans a quick brush down with his hands before he looked up. Ben was staring right at him.

The stood like that for a few seconds, neither relenting. Finally, Callum couldn’t take it any longer and decided it was ridiculous now. He had to speak first.

_“This is Big Brother. Would all housemates please take their seats.”_

It was only as he walked towards the lounge that he realised that the other team would be staying over the other side of the divide. Big Brother wasn’t letting them over for the announcement. Someone over that side was going to be evicted in a minute and Callum wouldn’t get to say goodbye.

The crowd noise was shut off and the presenter’s voice came booming over the sound system. _“Big Brother house, you are live, please do not swear.”_

Callum couldn’t even look at the group the other side of the bars. He couldn’t bear to see Ben’s face, knowing it could be the last time and fearing all he’d see there was hatred. Instead he looked up at the housemates’ pictures on the screens on the wall. He focused on Ben’s face there.

_“Ash, Ben, Habiba, Kat and Kush, for the past few days the public have been voting for who they want to evict from the Big Brother house. The votes have been counted and verified, and I can now reveal that the second person to leave the Big Brother house is-“_

Please don’t go. Please don’t go. Please don’t go. Don’t leave me alone.

_“Ash!_

_“You have one minute to say your goodbyes. I’m coming to get you!”_

Callum let out a long breath he didn’t know he was holding, as he noticed Dotty, Isaac and Vinney’s faces fall. Out of all the housemates over the other side, she would be the one they least wanted to see leave. She was the one they felt they could mould and change to their own whims.

_“Ash, you have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house. Ash, you have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house.”_

They all got out of their seats and made their way to the gate as Ash said goodbye to everyone on the other side of the divide. Finally, she made her way out, giving them a wave as she made her way up the stairs with a big smile. Halfway up she stopped, turned around and looked at Callum before making her hands into bunny ears by her head, laughing as she made the movement. She continued to scurry up the stairs. The doors opened, and it was a muted reception, but it wasn’t a bad one.

The doors closed and Big Brother started to play the recorded crowd noise back into the building. Everyone was a little quiet, unsure what reaction to have. He didn’t think anyone disliked Ash, but she hadn’t really bonded with anyone either. No one was celebrating her exit, but no one was commiserating either. Taking a quick look beyond the bars, Callum noticed that both Kat and Ben looked a little shocked that they stayed.

It wasn’t long before Big Brother delivered some alcohol to commemorate the eviction. At least for Callum’s side. The other group again received some cordial to celebrate their survival. It wasn’t received well. Habiba and Kat went into the bedroom to get changed out of their eviction outfits and Kush went for some fresh air outside. That’s where Dotty, Isaac and Vinney were as well. They’d taken some wine out there to celebrate and toast to how brilliant they thought they were. That’s what Callum assumed they were doing anyway. That only left Ben.

He was sitting on one of the beanbags, and deliberately not looking at Callum again. It seemed ridiculous now though, especially due to the fact he could have gone ten minutes earlier. Callum pottered around in the kitchen, collecting a few items before making his way towards the bars and sitting down.

“Ben, can you come here please?” he asked, noticing the other man’s jaw flinching slightly when he heard the voice. There was no other reaction though. He was just acting like he hadn’t heard him and Callum was tired of playing this game. “Over here now, Ben!”

He saw Ben’s eyes flicker over his way, and he knew he had him. He got up out of his beanbag, coming to sit on the ground opposite Callum.

Reaching around, Callum slid the items he had brought over through the bars. Ben looked down at them, and then back up before letting out a laugh. “You’re going to get us into trouble again!” he said, looking down at the bottle of beer and pork pie in front of him.

“I don’t care,” Callum replied, and he meant it. Perhaps there was a certain type of trouble he didn’t mind falling into. He gave his lips a lick quickly and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I was being-“

“No, it was me, Callum,” Ben interrupted. He leaned through the bars and grabbed Callum’s wrist, stroking his thumb only slightly over his pulse point. He would be able to feel it. How it rushed and pounded. “You know I see you, yeah?” he stated, locking their eyes. “Do you see me?”

Callum nodded, only a little and maybe not even noticeably, but it was enough for Ben. “Good,” he replied softly. “Good.”

It was more than that, but a voice in his head was still hitting out a warning that sometimes things can appear too good. You have to be careful what you wish for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
> 
> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> Drop me a comment there if you would like to, or of course below. Thank you for reading xx


	9. Week Three (Part 1)

** Day Fourteen (continued) **

After Ash had been evicted, Ben and Callum just sat down on the floor by the divide. Just the two of them. And also, Kat, Kush and Habiba, who soon joined them, lounging on the floor around Ben. Callum wanted it to be just them, but he didn’t begrudge the others. There wasn’t exactly a huge amount of places for them to go over that side of the divide, whereas Dotty, Isaac and Vinney were outside in the pool.

“What’s that?” Habiba squealed suddenly, pointing to the pie and beer on their part of the divide. “Why have we got contraband over this side? I’m not going down for this! Do you know the sort or horrors they have inside? They might not have anywhere I can get my gel manicure!”

“It’s a cage out the back Habs, not an episode of Bad Girls,” Kush replied, before he looked at that food and then back to Ben and Callum. “Planning a little midnight feast again are we?”

Ben sighed at the accusing faces, and then pushed the items back through the bars. “Fine, let’s all half starve while those gluttonous bastards stuff their slimy little faces all day!”

“Callum’s sitting right there!” Habiba whispered, smiling at him. “He’s not that bad! There was that time last week he demolished three KitKats in a row, but otherwise he only eats maybe twenty five percent more than your average person.”

“Cheers Habs,” Callum replied, as the woman gave him a happy thumbs up.

“We weren’t talking about him, was we?” Kat exclaimed. “Although, I notice that you ain’t passing your pork around for everyone to have a nibble at! I could have murdered for a pie last night. I had a dream that a steak and kidney pudding was floating through the window.”

“I had a dream I was buried alive in a cheesecake once,” Habiba commented wistfully. “It was super weird because it was lemon and I always order vanilla at a restaurant.”

The conversation about strange dreams rattled on with laughter, and Callum tried to follow along and concentrate, but he couldn’t fail to notice that Ben’s eyes never strayed from his face.

** Day Fifteen **

The next morning, Callum was woken by the lights flashing on in the bedroom. He pulled the duvet back over his head. It felt like he had only just gone back to sleep, his eyes didn’t seem to want to stay closed when he was in this room. Callum hadn’t been allowed to sleep in the lounge, Big Brother ordering them all into their respective bedrooms when it got too late. He had just laid there for hours, listening to the breathing of his housemates. It seemed to grate on him, mock and joust his ears as he heard every snort, gravel and huff of their slumber.

Instead, all he could do was repeatedly turn over, the bed sheet starting to bunch around his legs with the incessant movement. The air conditioning didn’t even seem to cool his body so he could snuggle under the blanket; it just rocketed out noisy and grainy air that seemed to jab at his skin. That night seemed longer than all the days put together that he had spent in that house. Knowing he couldn’t get up, couldn’t wander around the house, but instead was locked in a room with three people who disliked him. Three people that would use him as a human shield in a dinosaur attack.

Now though, with the glare peering through under the duvet still, it was like his whole body was filled with sand, unable to move even an inch from where it was now sunk into the mattress. His eyes were like a pair of automatic doors, every time he tried to keep them open they just shut tight, pleading with him to not even try to lift them up. Perhaps he’d just stay here all day. The worst they could do was play the alarm continually, and frankly he’d prefer listening to that than Isaac mumble in his sleep.

Speaking of which, all three of his housemates seemed to have come back in the bedroom, and his heard their voices start to rumble. They probably didn’t even care he was here, just assuming that the large lump under the blanket was his stiffening corpse and Big Brother would send down a large metal claw to grab him up and lift him away before he spoilt the aesthetic of the house.

“-well now the divide’s gone, maybe they’ll turn that room into something else,” he heard Vinney’s voice grumble out, each note and tone vibrating his brain as though it was being shocked and stunned with a current.

“Well, it’s the start of a new week, we know what to do, don’t we?” Dotty said, placing emphasis on certain words. He couldn’t help feel he was being looked at then. It was just a chill and shudder that willowed up his body, as if someone was jumping on his grave and then digging up his bones and throwing them into the local dog rescue centre.

“This is going to be a good week, I can tell!” he heard Isaac’s voice say, entirely too cheerfully for the lack of alcohol in it. Unless he was still drunk from last night, or had gone and downed a can of rum and coke when the lights came on. It was entirely possible.

Callum sat up with a jump, which earned him some curious eye brow raises from the other housemates. “The divide’s gone?” he asked, his voice deep and low and sounding like tiny mice had laid a gravel driveway in his throat during the night.

There was no point in waiting for them to respond though, he kicked his legs off the bed, wobbling and staggering slightly when his feet hit the floor, and he headed towards the main section of the house.

There was still sleep in his eyes, blurring them slightly, but even he could tell that the divide was gone as soon as he opened the door. Callum bounded towards the garden happily, looking out to where the sun was beating down. Smiling at what he saw, he opened the door and went out.

“You’re free then?” Callum said, approaching the coop. He clicked open the gate before stepping in, immediately regretting his decision when Connie started slowly bobbing her head towards him before experimentally just rubbing her beak in circles against his leg. He tried to give her a little nudge away, but she just kept rhythmically pecking towards his ankle.

“Time off for good behaviour,” Ben smirked, putting Missy down. She squawked about a little, glaring at Callum and blaming him for the fact she’d lost her cuddles. He really, really hoped that Big Brother wouldn’t do a sudden twist where the chickens were allowed to nominate. It was possible he’d be the only one up for eviction if that happened. “Everything back to normal now, eh?”

Callum just smiled back. He wasn’t sure what normal was, it appeared to be the ever changing dynamic. It seemed to be only what was happening at the time, and Callum always felt he was just there with his nose pressed up against the glass that stood between him and it. Especially in the Big Brother house, he wasn’t sure what it was to be normal; he had certainly tried to blend into it when he first came in, but that was slipping away now.

He tried to subtly shake Connie off again, who seemed to think his ankle was the Holy Grail, the way her eyes were beaming at it, and how her little beak kept on lapping at the skin there. He was tempted to give her a little kick, but was conscious that with too much force, she’d go flying over the fence like a feathery football.

The irritation at his ankle seemed to disappear though when Ben approached him, walking up slowly and standing before him. It was strange without the bars there, even though they had their forbidden midnight feast a few days before and their time in the slammer, knowing that they were allowed to do this felt strange. It felt as if the bars were still ghosting there at first, like a cast for a broken bone that had been worn for weeks and suddenly removed. The freedom felt heightened.

It was though he didn’t know what to do with his hands, they just tingled at his side. It was ridiculous, but the his heart started beating loudly when Ben lifted his hand up to Callum’s head, and just swiped a piece of stray hair back from his forehead. “You going for the messy look now?” he asked, almost shyly looking down when he quickly brought his fingers back. “Suits you.”

“Nah, just ain’t done it yet. Thought I’d come out here first,” Callum replied, shuffling a little on his feet causing Connie to fluster and bacaw loudly. It was possible he may have stepped on a toe. Or paw, hoof or trotter, he wasn’t entirely sure what chickens had. It was her own fault for fluttering around him though. You get too close and you’re bound to get hurt.

_“This is Big Brother. Would all the housemates gather on the sofas immediately.”_

Ben looked up the sky as though the order had come from heaven itself. “I’ve been awake for half hour! I literally ain’t done nothing that would break any rules!” he said with a large sigh, as Callum opened the gate up with a chuckle. “They’re determined to try and paint me for every crime in a five mile area.”

Callum quickly closed the coop once Ben had stepped out, causing Connie to walk into it beak first. She bumbled around for a few seconds before doing the same action again, hoping the force of her tiny southern coated drumsticks and sticky barbeque wings could win out against a large wooden secure door.

They both headed towards the lounge as the rest of the housemates joined them, flopping down of the sofas. When Kush sat down he let out an audible groan of pleasure. “Sitting on an actual piece of furniture. I’m never going to take a couch for granted again.”

“I’m sure I was beginning to get blisters on my bum from that bench,” Kat replied, curling up next to Kush on the seat. She gave a large yawn before cricking her neck back and forth. “I’ll tell you what, I ain’t having a late night. I can’t wait to crawl into an actual bed tonight.”

Callum realised then that the other four would be coming back into the bedroom. It would be fine though, Big Brother would probably put the other beds back in too. He could finally have Ben sleeping opposite him again. That was a lingering thought and he didn’t know why it was so important, but it just was. It just mattered.

“Come on, Big Brother!” Habiba called out, practically starfish sprawled on the other sofa, causing Vinny to have to keep shuffling further and further towards the end. “Just hurry up and give Ben his punishment for whatever he’s done wrong so I can go and spend six hours in the shower. I’m not even joking, I’m not coming out until I’m a mermaid.”

“I don’t think that’s how mermaids are made, Habs,” Vinney replied, trying to form a barrier between his body with his headphones as Habiba’s leg was wiggling about. “I’m not even sure they’re real, but my mate said he’d got with one on a night out in Ayia Napa, so you might be right.”

“Your mate was probably so doped up he was likely humping an unsuspecting sealion with a wig on!” Ben said, his own foot jiggling. “Why does everyone think it’s me that’s in trouble? It was Dotty who was having little midnight nomination conversations the other day.”

“It was taken out of context,” she replied, giving him a snarl. “I just used the wrong words and it were only part of a conversation. You can’t exactly explain away jumping over a fence and stuffing burgers down your neck can you?”

“It was just part of the conversation,” Ben glared back mockingly, holding his hands up as if in submission. “At least I own up if I’m caught.”

“Well, you’ve had enough practise in your life, haven’t you?” Dotty scowled back. “You’re breaking rules and laws but you ain’t even good at it!”

_“This is Big Brother. Housemates are reminded that during the time the divide was in the house, items should not be consumed or passed through the barrier without Big Brother’s permission. At 11.33pm last night Callum pushed through a pie and beer, that was part of the red team’s reward, through the bars. As a result of Callum’s rule break, he is banned from using the kitchen to prepare food for the next week.”_

Callum opened his mouth to defend himself, but he wasn’t sure if he could. He broke the rules without even caring. It just seemed the right action to take. He needed to cheer Ben up, to get them speaking again and that was the most obvious way. He couldn’t say he wouldn’t do exactly the same thing again either.

The punishment though, was probably one of the worst they could have given. He would have happily taken being sent back into the jail again. Callum even would have accepted having to spend an hour a day in the chicken coop. It wouldn’t be pleasant, but at worst he could just sprinkle a circle of fajita seasoning around him and hope that might keep the hens away.

Instead though, he wouldn’t be allowed to cook. That would mean all that time he used to be able to waste preparing food for the house was going to be taken away. It may have been just making a few meals a day, but it helped the time in here have a structure. It helped to calm his mind and stop it for wandering to places that he knew it shouldn’t go. It was a welcome distraction, a little bit of enjoyment as well as the fact that he knew he could make the most out of the ingredients and produce something that everyone would eat.

That lead to the other repercussion of his punishment, and the reason everyone had a look of shock and outrage on their faces. “I’m not having another week of no food!” Habiba called out. “I’ll end up needing Lenny Henry and Bob Geldof to set up a charity appeal for me by Friday!”

“You’re not going without food, Habs,” Kush reassured her. “We’ll still have the ingredients, it just looks like someone else will have to cook. I don’t mind doing it.”

“You burnt rice and beans, Kush,” she replied with a huff. “I can’t trust you to not perform a cremation on a vegetable tray break. Those leeks don’t deserve to die in vain.”

“I’m sure one of us will be able to throw a few things in the oven!” Dotty exclaimed. “I’ll do it!”

Even Vinney made a grimace at that offer. “I ain’t eating lettuce on a bed of coconut milk for a week! You’re not gonna want to shove a lamb chop in a pan, are you?” Ben responded. “My concern is only for your veganism. I know how you care so for the animals.”

Callum could tell that Dotty wanted to make some form of gesture with her hand in response, but she managed to restrain herself. “I don’t mind doing it,” Isaac offered. “I’ve always cooked for myself.”

Dotty let out a whimpered laugh. “Please, I ain’t eating something broiled in red wine for every meal so you’ve got an excuse to down a glass when cooking,” she said, oblivious to the hurt that passed on Isaac’s face.

“Well, I can cook! I’ve got kids, I know how to feed a family,” Kat suggested. “I’ll take over from Callum.”

“Um, turkey twizzlers, chips and beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner?” Dotty said, her lips still in their permanent grimace. “No thank you. That’s all we’d get if you or Vinney cooked.”

Ben gave a shrug. “I’ll do it.”

“No!” Callum said, the outburst falling from his lips, as Ben cocked his head at him questioningly. “You’ve got the chicken’s ain’t you? You can’t do them and make breakfast at the same time.”

There was a loud clearing of a throat, before Habiba stood up. “I think it should be me,” she said, her hands clasped together. “Callum can tell me what to do, I’m a brilliant listener, so I know what everyone likes to eat and also I have experience. I spent three weeks in Paris with Gino Di Campo.”

“You went on a cooking course with Gino Di Campo?” Kat asked, surprised in her voice.

“Oh no, we didn’t cook,” she clarified, before smiling around to the group hopefully. “So really I’m the only choice. I won’t let you down.”

“Oh my God! This is disgusting! I don’t think I can do it!”

Callum put a comforting hand on Habiba’s arm to stop her from throwing the knife up in the air and running off like a frightful doe. She had bounded into the kitchen, full of enthusiasm to cook her first lunch for the group. Callum decided to keep it nice and simple, just some fish with potatoes and salad. It seems that even this was causing more than a slight calamity.

“You can do it, Habs!” he tried to reassure her. “All you’ve got to do is hold the knife firmly and slice through in one go.”

Habiba took a few deep breaths, and swung her hair back and forth in order to focus herself. Callum wasn’t sure he would be able to explain how the roast potatoes were coated in garlic and hairballs. It seemed to help though, as she gripped the knife in her fist and started to glide through the flesh. It only lasted a few seconds until there was another scream.

“I can’t do it, Callum!” she replied, hurling the knife down before clutching her stomach. “I think I’m gonna throw up!”

“It’s fine, Habs,” he said, trying to hold his temper. At this rate, they’d all be evicted by the time it was ready. “You’re doing really well. We’ve just got to speed up a bit.”

Habiba looked back at him as if he’d asked her to walk out into the garden and wring the neck of one of the chickens. Perhaps when she’d grown in confidence it could be possibility. “Speed up? Speed up? Callum, I’m having to hack at something that was once living and remove its disgusting guts! How am I meant to do that in a speedy way? I’m not some kind of heartless monster!”

“You’re just deseeding the tomatoes!” he replied with a sigh. Thankfully, they had made decision to just throw the fish in the oven and cook it whole. “They ain’t gonna pop up back to life as fruit zombies!”

Giving another whine and groan, Habiba picked up the knife, her face turning into a grumpy frown. “It’s so icky,” she said as she cut the tomato in half and started to scoop out the seeds. “They’re all slippery and slimy and bleeding all over the board. They’re gonna present me as some potential serial killer on the show, getting their kicks out of chopping some harmless tomato into tiny little pieces.”

“It’s done now, isn’t?” Callum said, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. He’d never worked so hard. At least the tomatoes had gone better than when he asked her to zest a lemon and she gave it a pep talk. “Everything’s prepared, we’re just waiting on the fish in the oven.”

_“This is Big Brother. The bedroom is now open.”_

Callum and Habiba looked to each other with their eyebrows raised. Big Brother had locked the bedroom that morning, as well as the Green Team’s temporary sleeping area. It seemed to strongly suggest that they would be all moving back to the main room, and the announcement now seemed to confirm that.

There was no hurried run, or elbowing each other out the way, that there was in that first evening. However, the back door soon opened from where most of the housemates were sunning themselves in the garden. They all just walked one by one into the bedroom, unsure of what to suspect.

It surprised Callum a little that it looked no different, that there were still only four double beds in the room. He didn’t know what he expected really, but he was almost certain that Big Brother would do something different; that’s just how they worked. It was odd and almost slightly unnerving when they left everything the same.

“Right,” Kush said, clapping his hands together like he was a plasterer about to give an expensive quote. “Who goes where?”

“I think Ben and Callum should have last choice, as they break the rules all the time,” Dotty said, sitting down on the bed nearest the door. “It only seems fair, given how many punishments we’ve had to face because they can’t behave themselves.”

Callum looked at the bed he had been sleeping in for the last few weeks. He’d gotten used to being there now. He looked opposite, to where Ben used to sleep. There was nothing there. Just space and the suitcases from the housemates from the Green Team who were moving back in. It hit him then. He’d have to share a bed. Obviously, he had to do that with Steve at the start, but that was different. None of them knew each other and they almost just picked at random. Now though, it would have to be a discussion. They’d have to sit there and weigh up everything and he’d be expected to say who he wanted to share with. He couldn’t do that.

“Hang on a minute!” Ben said, though it wasn’t with his usual malice. He seemed a little upbeat since coming in the bedroom, there was a lightness on his face. “I weren’t responsible for the last one! I was just the poor innocent bystander who he tried to pull into his devious criminal activity.”

“Oh thanks,” Callum said, elbowing the man standing next to him. “I know who not to go to for a character reference if I’m ever in the dock.”

Isaac dropped down on to a bed, leaning back and laying on the whole cover. “I’m glad you two find it funny. We’re the ones that have to suffer when they take away our things.”

“Oh stop whining about your booze being removed,” Ben said, with a roll of his eyes. The lightness of his mood was going; Callum could tell. “Blame your little late night whispers with your mates over there.”

“We’ve both spoke about nominations Ben!” Dotty replied haughtily. “At least ours was just a mistake. We weren’t blurting it out loudly in the garden while toasting and drinking!”

Ben gave another sigh, clearly trying to hold his tongue, and he dropped to sit down on the nearest bed. Callum’s bed.

“What were you toasting with?” Habiba asked after a moment. “You were doing your task in the early hours of the morning and we didn’t have any alcohol that night.”

Callum gave a little glance towards Ben, hanging his head low in guilt. It was hard to get your story straight through telecommunication, and as a result they both left it a little too long to answer. “Oh my God! You’ve been hoarding some of the booze!” Dotty exclaimed, her eyes lighting up at having some ammunition. “You’ve been keeping some back, waiting till we all go to bed so you can have it all to yourself! Is that what you get up to in your little sleepovers?”

“It was one bottle, for one night to toast Steve!” Ben said with gritted teeth. “He’d want us to have it; it ain’t like the rest of you gave a damn he was gone.”

“That’s not on, mate,” Isaac said, shaking his head. “That belongs to all of us, you haven’t got any right to take it. It’s becoming a bit of a pattern now, isn’t it? You taking food and drink that doesn’t belong to you. I’d ask why, but I think everyone here knows why you were trying to get Callum drunk.”

Before he could even blink, Ben was off the bed and stomping towards the other man. Callum managed to just catch him on the wrist. “Leave it,” he muttered.

“Yeah, Ben,” Dotty chipped in. “Just leave it. Though there’s a lot you don’t seem to be able to leave alone in this house that you probably should.”

“It’s cause he’s weak,” Isaac said, staring at the men who looked ready to pounce if it weren’t for Callum’s hand holding onto his. “Got no control and no morals.”

“I ain’t the one that’s throwing a paddy over one bottle of wine,” Ben replied, gritting his teeth. “Watch what you say or you’ll see exactly how out of control my morals can get.”

_“This is Big Brother-“_

“Yes!” Ben shouted back, as he pulled his hand away from Callum’s. “I know! I’m coming!”

As he stomped out the door, a silence came over the room. Habiba crept over and sat next to Callum on the bed. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I wouldn’t have asked if I knew that was going to happen.”

Callum just shook his head, removing any responsibility from the woman.

Kush gave a small hum, signalling he had something to say. “Well I thought I’d have this bed,” he said, gesturing nervously to the one on the opposite side of the room. “And Kat thought she might as well share with me because we’re used to sleeping next to each other from the other room, so no one else has to get used to my weird night time habits.”

“That and I want to kop a feel under the covers!” Kat cackled out, reaching out to give Kush’s bum a squeeze. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head, before sitting down next to her in the bed. “I hope that don’t offend anyone’s delicate sensibilities!”

“Not at all,” Dotty said with a face like thunder, before glancing her eyes around. “Vinney and me are going to share a bed as well.”

The man looked up in surprise, clearly it was the first he was hearing about it. “Are we?” he asked, looking longingly at the bed he had already set his headphones on.

“Yes,” Dotty responded with a clenched jaw. “We talked about it yesterday, remember?”

“Oh right, yeah, course,” he said. His eyes flittered towards Kat and Kush sitting side by side. Clearly the realisation that he may get the same benefit washed over his face. “Yeah, I remember now. Totally what we discussed, what with us being so close.”

The realisation of what she’d talked herself into now hit Dotty’s eyes too as the reality of what she had just implied made her face pale. “So, looks like it’s you and me, Habs!” Isaac said with a laugh, grinning over to her. “Be nice to have someone to cosy up to at night!”

Habiba’s hand clutched at Callum, and he couldn’t bear the sorrowful look her eyes sent over to him, pleading and begging that he do something.

There was only one thing he could do. “Ben said he wanted to share a bed with Habs, actually, so it looks like you’re stuck with me,” he replied. The last thing he wanted to do was share a bed with Isaac, but he couldn’t let Habiba do it. No doubt the other man would just settle as far away as possible on the mattress if he were next to him. He was sure if Ben was here he’d think of a way to shake up the sleeping arrangements to one he wanted, but that wasn’t Callum’s way.

He would have slept next to Habiba himself, but he wouldn’t want Whitney to get the wrong idea. She was just his friend, neither of them thought about the other that way, but he didn’t know how Big Brother would spin it, especially with all the time they were spending with each other in the kitchen. Callum didn’t want Whitney switching on the tv and it looking like he was trying to replace her with another woman.

“I’m having the side by the wall,” Isaac mumbled, slopping over and starting to put a few of his things in the cabinet that side. Callum didn’t care, the Stetson and bunny ears were next to him anyway. He didn’t need to be by the wall.

Habiba got up and went to claim her space on the bed that was next to his double, so she was on the side next to Callum. She looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry. He’ll understand,” she explained, though it seemed unclear what she was saying. Her face perked up a little when she got up with a smile and moved to the side furthest from Callum. “Better than nothing. What’s that smell?”

Callum lifted his nose in the air, and noticed an acrid fume make its way into his nostrils, before he realised what it was. “Habs!” he called over to her. “The fish!”

Ben had made his way out of the diary room just as Callum and Habiba were placing the food on the table. They had managed to scrape most of the blackened scales off, and although the flesh was a little dry, it was still vaguely edible.

It was a quiet lunch, which was probably for the best as with that atmosphere, just one comment would have set everything alight, and Callum didn’t think he could cope with Habiba’s disappointed face if her salad went flying across the room.

There was little time to mope after lunch either, as Big Brother called them all the sofas again.

_“Housemates for you task today, time is of the essence. Big Brother will set an alarm in the task room. When housemates hear the alarm, they must reach it and switch it off before it stops. The housemates will work in pairs; Ben and Callum, Dotty and Habiba, Isaac and Kat, and Kush and Vinney. Only one pair will be allowed in the room at any one time, and only have one opportunity to go in the room. Ben and Callum will start with the first alarm. If housemates successfully manage to turn off three out of four alarms then housemates will win refreshments tonight.”_

“Well that sounds alright! Get your running shoes on, mate!” Kush said, clapping Vinney on the back. “As long as we’re all quick we should be able to do this no problem. It’s only getting to our old bedroom. As long as they don’t wait till we’re on the toilet, we should be fine!”

“As long as Callum and Ben don’t fall asleep and miss it, we should be fine!” Dotty spat out. “Or downing a bottle of wine at the time.”

“We’ll be alright,” Ben replied, keeping his cool. “Just make sure you can tell the difference between an alarm and the screeching sound of your flying monkeys returning.”

It didn’t take long for the first alarm to sound. Callum was with Ben in the bedroom as he and Habiba unpacked their cases from their return from the divide. It felt better already, to have them there next to him, and he looked forward to being able to sleep tonight. He just knew he would now.

When the loud ringing started, they both froze and looked at each other, before Callum’s reflexes hit first, grabbing Ben’s arm, causing him to drop the shirt he was holding, before he started to drag him towards the door.

He didn’t let go as they headed into the main part of the house, Kush and Kat standing up on the sofa and cheering them on until the exuberant woman toppled onto the cushions with a laugh. They made it to the old bedroom door quickly, the alarm ringing loudly, as Callum booted it open with a bang, still clinging onto Ben as they entered the room ready to turn off the sound off in seconds.

“Fuck.”

Ben’s exclaim was exactly what Callum was feeling when they stopped with a start and looked around. There had to be five hundred clocks, both digital and analogue hanging up on the walls and on the floor.

Callum couldn’t even really hear what direction the alarm was coming from, the sound bouncing off the walls and making it impossible to know where to even start looking. It seemed to be everywhere. He looked over towards Ben, and he looked panicked as he kept turning his head swiftly, his eyebrows furrowed while he was chewing at his cheek.

Something occurred to Callum though, that may help. “Ben!” he said, going over to him and stroking down his arm to get his attention. “Look for the time! It’s about half two! Look for clocks that say that!”

Ben nodded quickly, and got started, working methodically and lifting up clocks at one end of the room, while Callum started on the other. He checked the time on all the faces carefully, moving his ear over closely for any that seemed to have an accurate time read.

After a while, he heard Ben’s voice. “Callum!” he called out. “This one!”

Callum went over and they both leaned closer. It read the right time and seemed to be buzzing in his hand. Turning it over a few times, he looked towards Ben. “How does it turn off?”

Ben just shrugged back at him. “There’s got to be a button somewhere!” he shouted, but there wasn’t one visible, no matter how hard they looked. “We’re going to run out of time!”

What he did next, he didn’t think too hard about, just acting on pure instinct. Callum pushed Ben back with one arm and used the other to hurl the clock to the ground with as much force as he could manage. It shattered loudly on impact, pieces of plastic and metal flying across the room. The sound had stopped.

Ben grabbed on to his arm and started to jump up and down. “You did it!” he said laughing and throwing his head back. “Callum, you did it!”

Suddenly, he had two armfuls of Ben when he jumped into him, throwing his hands around his neck and giving him a tight hug. He just seemed to fit there, as Callum wrapped his arms around Ben’s back and leaned into his hair. It was soft, and he could stay here for all time.

That couldn’t happen though, and he shouldn’t want that to happen. He gently leaned back, just nudging Ben off a little, who looked up at him with pleading eyes. “We should get out and tell them all the good news!” Callum said, walking away and picking up the pieces of broken clock and piling them into one corner. “Don’t you think?”

Ben just stood still in the same spot, putting his hands into his pockets. “Whatever you want, Callum,” he said with a nod, before following him out the door.

They were met with an enthusiastic set of housemates running up to them with questions to see how they had done. Callum tried to ignore Ben’s smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, as he told them all about the task room and gave them tips on how to pass the challenge.

Only an hour later, the alarm went off again. Ben was out with the chickens, and Callum could see him comforting Glory, fluffing her feathers affectionately. He sensed that Ben wanted to be alone for a little while, so he sat on the sofa with the others as they waited.

As soon as the sound rang out, Habiba jumped up and started bounding in a circle before Dotty turned her the right way and gave her a shove in the direction of the room. When they were in there, Callum kept on getting up and glancing at the clock on the oven, but they seemed to be in for a long time, much longer than he and Ben were.

Eventually, the girls returned, both with disappointed faces. “I take it didn’t go well then?” Vinney called out, stating the obvious.

“Well, it was a challenging as only one of us can tell the time!” Dotty said, glaring at Habiba. “I could hardly get it by myself and she kept on showing me ones that read nine o’clock!”

“Telling time is hard!” Habiba replied defensively, throwing herself down on the sofa with a harrumph. “Mrs Koster in Year Six said I was just a late bloomer and that one day it would happen!”

“Mrs Koster was just trying to get you out to break quickly so she could go cry in her store cupboard for ten minutes,” Isaac commented with a snort.

“Do you know what? It’s fine. We’re allowed to fail once, it just means the rest of us need to be on our game,” Kush said, before turning to Kat. “You can tell time, yeah?”

That earned him a slap on the arm. “Oh yeah, I know exactly where the hands go on a big clock!” she grinned back. “You just got to give it a good twist to wind it up, don’t you?”

Thankfully, both Kat and Isaac, and Kush and Vinney passed their part of the task, and they all waited expectantly that evening for the alcohol to arrive. There was a little bit of trepidation in the air, especially by the old green team, that they wouldn’t get a proper reward and instead a bottle of Robinson’s lemon barley would rock up at the storeroom. Their worries were unfounded though when Big Brother announced that refreshments had arrived and they all rushed happily to grab out the bottles and cans of alcohol, and the litres of sugary fizzy drinks that had been delivered.

The house seemed to be at its merriest and he even saw Dotty and Kat share a joke, without instantly turning around and rolling their eyes.

Callum and Ben sat next to each other on the sofa, taking long sips of beer, but barely saying a word to each other. It didn’t feel awkward though, even if there had been a little distance between them since the task. A little invisible barrier.

Callum could feel his eyes drooping, the effect of the alcohol just heightening the fact he hadn’t slept properly the night before. “I’m going to go to bed,” he said, turning towards Ben, as the rest of the house was still in full voice and taking advantage of the plethora of drink.

“Was that an invitation?” Ben said with a grin back, before screwing up his eyes when Callum opened his mouth and shook his head. “Sorry! Can’t seem to say or do the right thing today. Do you know what? I’m tired too, and gonna get up early to check on the chickens anyway. I’m gonna head in as well.”

Callum gave a quick nod, before heading towards the bathroom, noticing Ben was following him. There was still silence when he started to clean his teeth, just the sound of the toothbrush scratching against the enamel, as the swoosh of running water splashed as Ben started to wash his face next to him.

When they were all done, they made their way back through the lounge, the rest of the housemates not even acknowledging their presence. Once in the room, they both got changed, turning away from each other but their eyes flicking up and down at each other in the mirror reflection, unable to not look for too long of a time.

Callum lifted up the cover and climbed in, his body sinking comfortably into the mattress as he pulled the duvet over him and rested his head thankfully on to the plump pillows. His body rebelled against him though, turning almost instinctively towards Ben.

Giving him a soft smile, Ben was laying down in his own bed turning towards him. His eyes were sparkling and his skin pinked from just being washed. Callum wanted to reach out and touch. He was always like that. Whenever he went on school trips to museums, he just wanted to touch the artefacts; these precious, unique items that held so much within them.

“Everything ok in the diary room today?” he asked, almost surprised at the sound of his own voice appearing in the air. “You didn’t get into any trouble?”

Ben simply shook his head a little, his eyes seeming heavy. “No, they just talked with me a bit, warned against me losing my temper.”

“What did you say to that?” Callum asked, rubbing at his nose to try and fend the sleep off for a little longer.

“I just told them that if they’re making me a piece in their game, they can’t be surprised if I start to fucking play,” he said with a shrug.

“Is that what this is to you then?” Callum questioned, a little worried he had been caught up in something and not even realised.

Ben shook his head vigorously, his hair falling over his forehead with the effort. “No. It ain’t a game to me,” he said firmly. “It never has been.”

Callum could feel himself smiling, his eyes trying to slide into sleep but his mind still holding him back. “I know.”

There was a silence and Callum’s brain was becoming foggier, not quite sure if it was in sleep or still awake. He heard Ben’s voice one last time though. “Don’t turn away, Callum. Okay?”

When his eyes next opened, they were shrouded in darkness, and automatically shut again, not having the long rest that they were promised. Soon enough though, they were forced to open again, signalling that something was happening in the room.

Sitting up a little, his eyes started to adjust. Someone had left the toilet light on, and the small shred of light was creeping through the crack in the door to ensure the space wasn’t coated in complete darkness. It was enough to see around the room, but he didn’t need it with the noises emerging.

It was clearly the barely concealed moans that had woken him. All the housemates seemed to be in bed now, and he soon made out the large duvet covered lump from the other side of the room that seemed to be breathing heavily.

Callum squinted his eyes across at Kat and Kush’s bed, and it soon became clear exactly what was happening when a small patch of the cover was rhythmically moving up and down. He bit his lip to stop himself from laughing, but when he heard a snort from the left of him, it was obvious that he wasn’t the only one woken by their activities.

As soon as he looked towards Ben, and saw his gleaming eyes and grin as he nodded towards the movement, that was it; he couldn’t hold his laughter in any longer, especially when a particularly loud groan emitted from the blanket.

Ben hoped out of bed, waving his hand and gesturing for Callum to do the same. They quickly made their way to the bedroom door which thankfully wasn’t locked. As soon as they were outside and sure it was closed, they both let out their laughter, Ben clinging on to Callum’s t-shirt to keep himself up right.

It was a few minutes before they managed to stop, Callum’s side stabbing with the pain of trying to keep the volume of his laugh down. He wiped at his eyes, his breath loud as he finally calmed down. “How long till you think it’s safe to go back in?” he asked Ben, who was leaning back against the wall looking exhausted from the exertion.

“Well, Kush hasn’t had a bit for a quite a few weeks, so he was probably done with the assistance of Kat’s helping hand before we even got out the room!” Ben said. “Kat’s probably got him putting those arm muscles to work now though, so I’d give it another while.”

Callum nodded and looked around the main part of the house. It was an absolute state, the other housemates had clearly had the time of their lives before they’d eventually made their way to bed; there were bottles, food wrappers and pieces rubbish everywhere. “They had a good time tonight, then?” he said, picking up a few cans and setting them on the counter.

“I wonder if they left anything,” Ben said looking around. “You go outside and get the bench warmed up and I’ll check the fridge for some beers.”

Callum gave a nod, sharing a smile, before making his way to the patio door. He stopped when he heard a tapping, looking around before he realised it was coming from the bottom of the door.

“Con?” he said, confused at why the little chicken would be out of her coop and pecking at the glass on the door. He carefully opened it up, stepping outside to check he wasn’t just imagining her. It wouldn’t be the first time the chickens had waddled their way into his nightmares. “Connie?”

The hen still continued to peck at the door, before she suddenly noticed Callum and his apparently drool-worthy ankles and she started to rub her beak against them. He didn’t understand why she was here. The coop had wire all around it to keep out predators, but it also meant no one could Steve McQueen their way out either.

As soon as he looked up, he realised what had happened. The gate to the coop was wide open. Penny had made a quick dash for it as well, fluttering by the pool as though she had duck delusions. “Ben!” he called out. He really didn’t want to try and scoop them both in by himself, and he wasn’t going to do some sort of David Hasselhoff impression to dive into the water and save a sinking chicken. “The birds are out!”

Ben’s face soon appeared at the door, furrowed in confusion at Callum’s statement. His shoulders soon dropped in frustration when he took in the scene. “How’d the gate get open?” he said, walking towards the coop, while Callum tried to guide Connie away from the house with his foot. “You didn’t see your chance and were hoping they’d fly away?

“No!” Callum tutted, though it had crossed his mind. They would probably just swarm him though, charging him down and nibbling his corpse bare. “You know I wouldn’t do that! Besides…Ben? What is it?”

All the colour had drained out of Ben’s face, as he looked into the coop and froze. It wasn’t for long though, as he soon charged in, shouting out a range of curses. A flash of russet red dashed out quickly, leaping up on the wall and disappearing into the bushes.

Ben fell to the ground grabbing hold of something in his arms, and it wasn’t until Callum walked closer that he realised what it was. Missy.

“She’s bleeding,” Ben whispered, pulling his hand back and seeing the crimson coating it. His voice grew louder, the tremble clear. “Callum, she’s bleeding!”

Callum looked in shock at the bundle in Ben’s arms. There was movement, but only a little. “Bring her into the kitchen!” he said, his own breath hard with the adrenaline.

When they got there, he grabbed a cloth and held it to Missy’s chest, the blood seeping through immediately. “She’s badly hurt! She’s bleeding too much!” Ben muttered, griping onto her tightly. “What do I do?”

“Give her here,” Callum said, motioning for Ben to hand the hen over. He did so, placing her gently in his arms. “I’ll take her to the Diary Room, and you go get the rest back in the coop, ok?”

Ben nodded, his eyes filling with water, giving Missy a little stroke under her chin before he walked back towards the garden.

Callum walked towards the Diary Room, seeing that the door was unlocked. Big Brother was expecting them. Missy cuddled in closer to Callum’s t-shirt and he could feel her trembling in his arms. She gave him a bleary eyed look before her eyes started to blink close.

Quickly perching on the edge of the chair, he didn’t waste any time with niceties. “We need a vet for her now,” he said firmly.

_“Good evening Callum. If you leave the chicken on the floor and then exit the Diary Room, then Big Brother will arrange for a vet to visit as soon as possible.”_

“No,” he replied, his voice like stone. “I want someone to come get Missy from me, and you need to take her to an emergency vet. I ain’t leaving until you promise me that. I ain’t even gonna ask how you didn’t notice the hen pen was open.”

There was silence from the speaker, and Callum gave Missy a little tickle at her wing, pleased when she opened her eyes slightly, the tiniest cluck escaping from her beak. It was a few minutes until the voice returned.

_“Someone will be with you shortly Callum, and they will take the hen to a vet immediately.”_

Big Brother were good to their word and soon the door on the other side opened and a member of crew brought in a carry carse to put Missy in. She seemed reluctant to leave his arms, her eyes looking up at him expectantly when he placed her in. Callum gave a little wave to her before leaving the Diary Room.

There was no sign of Ben anywhere. All the other chickens were safely in their coop, and the lounge was empty. Callum made his way to the bathroom, and could hear the shower running.

He sat on the small sofa in the room, waiting for Ben to finish, the sound of the water pelting the bottom of the tile. Soon, it was turned off and Callum saw the towel that was hung over the top of the frosted glass be pulled over before Ben emerged with it tied around his waist.

Callum’s throat became dry and he gulped back the lump he had there. “You should jump in,” Ben said quietly, giving a nod towards the cubicle and then back towards Callum’s shirt. It was covered with blood, drying all over the material and his arms. He grabbed one of the towels from the rack and stepped in.

He undressed quickly throwing his clothes over the top of the glass with the towel. He was tall enough to still see through the clear surface right at the top, and he couldn’t help but look at Ben as he turned on the water. His mind wasn’t working properly that evening, and ideas and thoughts that weren’t appropriate at anytime seemed to be plaguing his brain, but they especially shouldn’t be there tonight. Not now. Callum turned away to face the wall.

He didn’t spend long in the shower, and soon realised he hadn’t brought in his bodywash. Ben’s was still hanging up, so he just used that, the smell seeming familiar and comforting enough to not make a difference. Turning off the shower, he scrubbed the towel over his body and hair quickly before wrapping it around his waist and exiting. There was steam circulating around the room. Callum only just realised that Big Brother must have turned the hot water on. They only did that a couple of times a day, if that, and they always usually announced it.

Ben was still sitting on the couch, and Callum made his way over, taking a seat next to him. “Do you think she’ll make it?” Ben asked, his voice breaking with every word.

It was so small and so vulnerable, that Callum couldn’t help but turn towards him. He couldn’t help to raise his hand to Ben’s blush cheek, and he couldn’t help for his fingertips to scratch softly at the hair behind his ear. “She be fine,” he said, as Ben’s fingers shot up to hold his wrist, to keep Callum’s hand on his face. He didn’t know how Missy would be, but he had to have hope.

“You don’t know that,” Ben replied, as he leaned further into Callum’s touch. “Bad things happen to those around me, Callum.”

“Everything always turns out alright in the end, don’t it?” he replied, trying to offer comfort. “Let’s go to bed.”

Ben lips quirked a little at the sentence, but he seemed to refrain from a comment. His smile dropped quickly though. “I can’t remember closing the gate,” he confessed in a whisper. “When I was out there this afternoon. I don’t remember locking the gate.”

His eyes looked so sorrowful, that Callum couldn’t help it. He leaned his forehead to Ben’s, just for a second, just allowing himself a sinful moment of bliss until he leant back, pulling his hand down from his cheek. “It weren’t your fault,” he replied. “There might have been something loose on it, or Big Brother just fucked up when building it and it weren’t as secure as they thought. It ain’t your fault. None of it.”

It seemed to be what Ben needed to hear, but Callum could tell it wasn’t entirely believed. They both walked back to the bedroom, getting changed in silence. All was quiet now and they crept into to their beds.

Callum could see the worry etched on Ben’s face still, as they both curled up on their sides facing towards each other. “It weren’t your fault,” he repeated, holding out his hand across the space between their beds.

Ben reached out his fingers, grabbing hold and linking them together. It was warming, and though it should have been uncomfortable in their position, neither was in the mood to let go. Callum just clutched Ben’s fingers tightly as he drifted back off to sleep.

** Day Sixteen **

_“This is Big Brother. Would the housemates please gather on the sofa.”_

That was the first voice Callum heard when he woke up. The second was a loud huff from Habiba from the next bed. “Again?!” she called out. “Do they have to wake us up at this time? It’s like being some worthless lackey in the army! No offence, Kat and Callum.”

Struggling out of bed, he noticed that Ben wasn’t in the double next to him anymore. Callum ran his fingers through his hair, before making his way to the door, wondering if there was any news on Missy.

The rest of the housemates were starting to gather on the sofa as Big Brother called one housemate to the Diary Room. Callum sat down next to Ben, giving him a short smile as Dotty walked to the other end of the house. “Have you found out how she is?” he whispered.

Ben gave a little shake of his head. “I tried, but they just said that she’s still being assessed, and they’ll let me know if there’s any news,” he replied. “Do you think that’s good? The fact that she’s fighting?”

“Yeah,” Callum said, quickly stroking his fingers down Ben’s arm, just to reassure him. “I think that’s really promising.”

Dotty returned with an envelope and harshly ripped and tore into it with the delicacy of a velociraptor. _“Housemates, for this week’s task you will be taken back in time to the 1980s. You will all have individual tasks to complete and pass. You will receive notification of these later today. You will also have to pass a group task. Outside in the garden there is a stage. When you hear the eighties classic ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ by Tiffany you must all make your way to the stage and dance until the music has finished. If a housemate fails to make it on time three on three occasions, and is not on the stage when the music stops, then you will incur a fail. You need to pass six out of nine tasks in order to win a luxury shopping basket. Big Brother will shortly deliver your outfits for the task.”_

There was little motivation or excitement about the challenge, most of the housemates were clearly fighting off a hangover. They all started to get up out their seats before Big Brother’s voice rang out.

_“Housemates, on entering the Big Brother house you all agreed to abide by the rules set. This includes the care and protection of the animals in the house which you were provided clear instructions for in the Welcome Manual. In this, it clearly states that you must keep the chicken coop gate shut and locked at all times, only opening it when you need to exit and enter the pen to care for the animals. Yesterday, one housemate broke this rule.”_

Ben put his head in his hands. Callum knew this was the only rule that the man next to him felt guilt about breaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	10. Week Three (Part 2)

** Day Sixteen (continued) **

Ben rubbed his face a few times, before almost shaking himself into realisation. Callum could only watch as he mentally prepared himself, sitting back with a breath to accept his fate. It was quite brave, in way. Ben seemed to run head first into the things that scared him; dramatically and disastrously sometimes, but any hesitation of uncertainty seemed to fade away.

Callum wanted to tell him at the moment. How much he admired him, and how he just wished he could make everything better, not just about Missy. About everything. There wasn’t anything he could do or say though. He just simply reached out and tapped his fingers next to Ben’s hand, just brushed and ghosted the small slither of space there; a mere freckle of skin touching.

_“At 11.26pm last night, Isaac entered the chicken coop, and when leaving at 11.29pm, failed to properly shut the gate. This led to a fox being able to enter the pen.”_

At those words, even Dotty looked nervous at what the reaction would be. She must have known though. She would have known.

Isaac held his hand up with a chuckle of amusement. “Man, I thought they were gonna call me out for taking a leak on the grass,” he said, seemingly not sensing the looks around him. It was only the two of them that knew about Missy, but everyone knew how Ben was around the chickens. “It’s hardly the crime of the century, is it?”

“Say that again,” Ben said quietly. It was too calm. He was just sitting back with his arms folded. It was calculated and knowing, not the way he usually was when his temper was rising. He was thinking, and Callum couldn’t help question why his stomach seemed to suddenly turn itself upside down as his breath grew large in his throat. 

“Oh mate, you ain’t gonna kick off, are you?” Isaac said, tipping his head back. “Cause we’re all getting a bit sick of your little toddler temper tantrums over a tiny little thing.”

Ben didn’t have the chance to answer though, as Big Brother’s voice rumbled from the speaker again. _“As punishment for his rule break, Isaac must go to the jail immediately.”_

Ben was still sitting with his arms crossed, back against the sofa, but Callum scootched to the edge, just perching on the cushion. He didn’t know what was going to happen, but with the look on Ben’s face, he did.

“Go on, then,” Ben said, with a taunting smile. “Run along to prison. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time!”

Isaac stood with a huff, shaking his head. “Why am I the only one being blamed here? It was Dotty who told me to go in there!”

“I didn’t tell you to leave it unlocked!” she said defensively, peeling each of Isaac’s fingers away from where it was gripping on to a cliff edge. “It was just a dare to go in there and come back out!”

“Well that wasn’t the only part of the dare-“ Habiba started to say.

“Shut up, Habs!” Dotty shouted at her, causing the woman to reel back slightly and start to chew her hair. “Let the grown ups talk. You really want to start to drag me down, Isaac?”

The man started to walk away, waving his had dismissively and grunting in derision. “You’re gonna do that all by yourself,” he said, gripping on tight to the patio door handle. “I could tell them all what you been saying, when it’s just you and me!”

“We’re being filmed constantly, you idiot!” she screeched back, though something had her rattled. “You can’t try and catch me out on anything! Big Brother knows everything I’m doing! I’m not the one in here that keeps getting punished!”

“Ouch,” Ben said, another small smile appearing on his lips, as he mimed gripping his heart.

“And I’m not the one who put the animals in danger!” she hissed back. “They are living things and you could have got one of them hurt!”

“That’s it, Dotty!” Ben continued, laughing through gritted teeth. “Save the whales and screw the humans, that’s your motto, ain’t it?”

“Shut up, Ben!” she said, going more and more red in the face. “I’m getting enough attitude from him; I don’t need you starting off at this time of the morning as well!”

“Attitude?” Isaac continued, walking back from the door, as his eyes widened in disbelief. “What, like I’m not supposed to talk unless given permission by you?”

Callum let out a breath as the two started to square off at each other. “Yeah, that’s it!” she said. “Piss in the garden like a hobo, and then go take it out on some innocent chickens!”

He had to disagree with the innocent part. They had all the moxy of 1930’s Chicago based gangsters. Especially Penny. He always expected to turn around suddenly and see her dressed in a trilby and smoking a cigar. Still Dotty had a point. She didn’t sound unreasonable, and as water filled her eyes, he imagined to anyone watching she wouldn’t look it either.

“I can’t believe you’re standing there and making out that it was all down to me!” Isaac carried on. There was a genuine frustration there, a pure anxiety at a realisation of where he’s anchored his ship. “You were standing right there cheering me on!”

“You’re a guy who’s a decade older than me, bigger than me and plastered up to the eyeballs on wine!” she said, wiping her eyes and blinking furiously. “I didn’t know what you’d do if I didn’t go along with you! I didn’t want to take that risk.”

“You manipulative little bitch!” Isaac spat out, putting his head in his hands. “You know exactly what you were doing! I ought to drag you into that prison by your hair!”

_“This is Big Brother. Would Isaac come to the diary room immediately.”_

The housemate blew out a breath, trying to regain his temper. He dropped his locked eyes from Dotty, and began to stamp away, until a sharp whistle brought him to the stop.

Isaac turned in the direction of the noise to see Ben waving the house rules folder at him. “Might save you some time if you take it in with you. I’ve highlighted the really juicy bits!” he said with a grin. “Be careful for papercuts though, eh? Be a real shame if someone got hurt.”

The middle finger stuck up at Ben just made him laugh, as Dotty continued to snivel on the couch, while still keeping her eyeliner intact.

When Isaac left the diary room, it was with a defiant sulk that befitted a toddler or a pissed off octopus. By that time, Big Brother had delivered their outfits for the 80s task, and they were all getting changed in the bedroom, and the housemate was starting to get changed into his neon blue suit, rolling up the sleeves of his jacket while ignoring everyone else in the room.

“Are you sure they ain’t too tight?” Callum asked, trying to look over his shoulder at his bum, before remembering the walls were full of mirrors. “Especially on camera, when they do a close up and that?”

When Callum had pulled his 80s costume out of the bag, he had to slightly wrinkle his nose up. The plain white t-shirt he liked, and the white trainers were something he’d buy and wear. He actually hoped they’d let him keep them. It was when he pulled a suspect looking acid wash denim jacket, and then a matching pair of jeans, from the bag that he began to have doubts about the outfit.

“Why don’t you turn around, sweetheart?” Kat said from where she and Ben were perched on her bed. “Give us a look, and we’ll give you an honest answer.”

“Yeah, give us a twirl,” Ben replied with a grin.

Callum sighed and then slowly turned around with his arms slightly raised. He was always embarrassed at being looked at, and now he had two sets of eyes watching his every move. “So, what do you think?”

“Hmm, I think you might have to give us another spin, sweetheart,” Kat replied, her tone serious. “Not sure I saw enough the first time.”

“Yeah, we’d definitely benefit from a second look.” Ben agreed.

Callum spun around again, squinting his eyes at himself in the mirror until he was back facing the bed. “Any good?”

“We’re gonna have to see it again, to give our proper opinion,” Kat replied, as a grin quirked unintentionally into her lips. “Don’t you think, Ben?”

“Definitely might need a closer look. Callum, bend over and pick up that sock,” he said, dissolving into a fit of laughter when Kat started to cackle.

He glared at the two of them. “You’ve been having me on, haven’t you?” he said, sitting down on the bed with a huff, folding his arms and pouting his lips together. “I’m just trying to make sure I don’t look a state!”

“He’s a card, ain’t he?” Kat said, elbowing Ben and then still giving a laugh as she stood up. She was dressed in a blonde Debbie Harry wig and an off the shoulder dress. Callum thought it was the first time he hadn’t seen her in any animal print. “Wouldn’t be half as fun in here without watching his little oblivious moments.”

Callum turned away, scowling into the mirror as he started to do his hair. “You’re not going to give me the silent treatment, are you?” Ben called over. “We’re only messing.”

“No,” he said, though it probably came out a little more petulantly than it had meant to. “I’m just busy doing my hair.”

Even if he hadn’t had seen the movement in the reflection of the mirror, he would have felt the weight on the mattress of the bed, as Ben settled on it. “Don’t do it how you normally do it! That’s not exactly getting into the spirit of the task, is it?”

Callum quickly whipped his head around. “Ben, you’re dressed exactly as you usually are!” he exclaimed, waving his hand at Ben’s costume which consisted of a black leather jacket, shirt, boots and jeans combo. “I’m not entirely sure they didn’t just nick that costume from your suitcase.”

Kush especially seemed horrified at the simplicity of Ben’s outfit, as he adjusted his mullet with a grumble, and fluffed the ruffles of his New Romantics shirt.

“What can I say? I’m just timelessly in fashion!” Ben remarked, shuffling a little closer on the bed. “Here, let me do it.”

The little roll of the eyes Ben gave clearly signified that the look of horror etched on Callum’s face hadn’t been missed. “I ain’t letting you do my hair!”

“Don’t be such a scaredy cat!” he said, pulling away the pot of product away from Callum’s hand. “What’s the worst’s that can happen? It’ll look good, I promise.”

“Those were the exact words that Habs used when making breakfast this morning, but I still remember you choking on a croissant she’d buttered with salad cream!” he replied, trying to grab his hair product back from where Ben had hidden it behind his back.

Callum reached for it again, but Ben kept on moving it from hand to hand. He could feel Ben’s breath on his cheek, they were that close, and it was like a ghostly enticement. “Don’t make me tickle you, again,” he whispered, their eyes locking.

“Yeah, that would be really awful,” Ben said, matching the small smile on Callum’s face. “Come on, sit back. I’ll be gentle, I promise. We want less Teddy Boy height and more Marty McFly loose rebellion.”

Reluctantly, he sat lower on the bed, as Ben got up high on his knees in front of him. Callum picked at the duvet cover to stop his hands reaching out and touching, as he felt fingers scratch through his scalp. He balled the cover up into his fist until he could see his knuckles go white.

“There, all done!” Ben exclaimed, sitting back down and showing Callum in the mirror. “Told you it would look good. All sweetness, light and unicorns, me!”

“You better not be messing up my side of the bed,” a voice rumbled from the wall.

“Oh fuck off, Isaac!” Ben bit back. “Go piss on the patio!”

Callum gave a little shake of his head, as he lifted his hand to adjust the piece of hair falling over his forehead. It quickly got slapped away before he could reach it. “Perhaps a little bit of an angry unicorn, then?”

“I think all unicorns must be angry. I mean, you would be, would you? Knowing that if you flip you’re mane back a bit too quick there’s a chance you might stab your mate in the eye,” Habiba said as she came over and sat on the bed. She looked as though the eighties had exploded onto her. She absentmindedly scratched at her leg warmers, while trying to adjust her tuille puffball skirt. She flung her crimpled side ponytail to the side as she thought. “And how often do you see one nowadays? They’re the panda bears of the land.”

“I think panda bears live on land too, Habs,” Callum said, his jaw dropping open as his friend fiddled with her fingerless gloves.

“I know they do, but you have sea ones as well, don’t you?” she clarified. “Those big black and white things. They made that film about one! Where they released him back into the ocean to be with his family?”

“Do you mean killer whales?” Ben asked, resting his arm on Callum’s shoulder. “Are you telling me that you think killer whales are just slippery panda bears?”

“Well not exactly the same!” she said, exasperated that no one seemed to understand her point. “But more similar to each other than seahorses and land horses, or unicorns and narwhals.”

“Habs, I’m sorry but unicorns and narwhals aren’t real,” Callum said, though he felt the guilt course through him. He hoped to god they never had to have a conversation about Santa. “They’re just mythical.”

Ben tapped him quickly on the cheek with his thumb. “They are real actually.”

Callum could still feel the touch linger there. It didn’t seem to fade. It was like a fingerprint. “What?”

“Narwhals I mean,” Ben said, chewing at his lip. “They’re real.”

“No, they ain’t!” he replied, squinting his eyes suspiciously. “I ain’t never seen one.”

“Well they ain’t exactly strolling down Canning Town High Street with a Tesco bag for life in their flippers, are they!” Ben exclaimed, his eyes twinkling.

“I don’t believe you,” he replied, shaking Ben’s arm away from him. “You’re having me on again!”

“I swear!” he exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Callum’s neck with a laugh and pulling him back towards him. “I’d swear on my life if I hadn’t sold my soul to the devil.”

Callum jumped up off the bed and marched towards the other side of the room. “I’m going to check with Kush!”

“But there’s no unicorns though?” Habiba asked. “Not even one? Just one amazing little riled-up unicorn, hidden out there somewhere?”

Ben squinted his eyes as he thought about the question. “Maybe one,” Callum heard him say.

They were all anxious to get their individual tasks, if for no other reason than to give them something to do that would remove the tension that was creeping up and down in the house. The next highly strung moment came when Big Brother told Vinny he couldn’t wear his headphones with his costume, as they weren’t compatible with the era. Once the bedroom door had been unlocked, he had stormed off to the Diary Room, while the rest of the housemates looked around the house at the task décor.

There weren’t many changes, a few retro items hung and decorated around the place, with some geometric furnishings and bold coloured pillows in the sofa. It was more a nostalgic blinkered view of the era, rather than the chintz wallpaper, multi-coloured carpets and beige furniture that would probably had a truer depiction of the time. Callum supposed that wouldn’t make for the best aesthetic on television though.

A few minutes later, Vinney came stomping out of the Diary Room, throwing himself down on the sofa. It wasn’t as though Callum couldn’t understand being upset at his costume; he was wearing a bright neon pink and lime green shell suit, but he wasn’t sure having a pair of yellow headphones would have drawn the eye away. It seemed to really bother him though, and he was snapping and moodily answering to everyone who was trying to talk to him.

He wasn’t the only one in the house who seemed to be fuming in annoyance, as Dotty complained for the fifth time that day about the shoulder pads on her bright red jacket. She had tried to sit comfortably on the sofa in her matching skirt and stiletto heels, but given up when Ben kept refereeing to her as Butlins, and she trotted off to the garden in a huff, sitting and sulking on one side, while Isaac did the same in the jail on the other.

“Right, I’m gonna give them another try,” Vinny said, leaping off the sofa and heading towards the Diary Room. “They’re being absolute tosspots about this, and I’m gonna tell them that if they don’t accept my demands then I’m going on a silent protest.”

“Do you think that counts for when he’s sleeping as well?” Kat asked, once he had clomped off. “Cause I might get a bit better of a kip if I didn’t have to listen to him sniffing away and clearing his sinuses all night.”

“You might get even more sleep if you ain’t spending the night giving Kush the five knuckle shuffle under the covers!” Ben said, lazing back on the sofa.

The man in question cleared his throat and Callum couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. “I think I’m going to go find a drawer I can curl up into and die,” he muttered, looking down at the ground as he stood up.

“That’s what she said!” Habiba remarked raising her hand for a high five. Ben just shook his head as Kush scuttled off into the bedroom.

“Look what you gone and done!” Kat said with a big grin, playing with a strand on her blonde wig. “You got him all shy now!”

“He’s embarrassed? Try being woken up at stupid o’clock in the morning by the sound of you rubbing his cock three foot away from me!” Ben exclaimed. “I tried to get back to sleep, but you weren’t exactly attempting to be quiet! I would have been impressed he lasted out so long, all things considered, had I not wanted to get my eyes shut. Arm a bit sore this morning, is it?”

“I had a friend who went out with one of the members of a boyband, and she had to go to the doctors and be signed off work for two weeks because she had that thing tennis players get,” Habiba mentioned. “What’s it called? They get it in their elbow?”

“Tennis elbow?” Callum queried. “I don’t think you only have to be a tennis player to get that, Habs.”

“Why call it that then?” she said screwing her face up in confusion. “Anyway this bloke she was seeing, I think it was either someone from A1 or Let Loose; one of the top bands of the day at any rate. She said he loved a good downstairs handshake. Problem was he had the stamina of a thoroughbred stallion. She said by the time he eventually climaxed, she’d gone through the stages of aching, numbness and pins and needles and was at the point where her hand had fused into a claw shape for twenty four hours. After a few weeks, she had to go to the GP she was in so much pain.”

“Are you trying to tell me that your mate took in a doctor’s note to her work saying she had Wanker’s Wrist?” Ben asked with a snort. “Why didn’t she just offer to blow him instead?”

“Oh, well apparently she would have had to have been like one of those snakes that unhinges its jaw, just to get a little in,” she explained, fiddling with her glove. “I don’t know how big exactly, but I remember she always looked like she was having flashbacks when she used her hand blender to make smoothies.”

“See, you men don’t know you’re born!” Kat uttered. “You got it easy compared to the things us girls have to do for you lot.”

Ben waved his hand with a questioning look on his face. “Excuse me! Don’t try and lump me in with them! I have the same problems you do!”

“No! Not all of them, no!” Kat stated, shaking her head at Ben’s protestations. “If you wanna suck off the fella you’re with in the alfresco, then at no point do you worry about what you’re wearing on your legs! You have a bit of a nosh on his nozzle in the outside air then you’ll be kneeling down and at worst get a bit of street dirt on your jeans.”

“Whereas I’d rather go canoeing down the Thames with Lawrence Llewellyn Bowing again, than kneel down on a grubby ground in my bare legs!” Habiba declared. “And we lost both oars five minutes in!”

“You end up having about three kilo of gravel embedded in your kneecaps! Or if you’re wearing stockings or tights, you go back in looking like you spent fifteen minutes in the tiger’s cage at London Zoo,” Kat explained. “So you end up having to squat down, while you hope that it’s his hand that’s in your hair and not a cheeky rat trying to Rapunzel its way up!”

“And squatting, while in heels, is not especially fun unless you’ve really put work in on your leg days!” Habiba said wistfully. “Sometimes there’s a box or crate around, even a little wall to perch on if you’re lucky.”

“Are you telling me that you only do squats when exercising for that reason?” Callum asked wide eyed.

Kat shook her head. “Trust me, when you’re shagging, every fella has an expectation! It’s like you’re supposed to bounce up and down like a beach ball, or kick your legs in positions most contortionists wouldn’t even attempt. God, sometimes it’s nice to just lie there! All you fellas have to do is just waggle your hips a little!”

“Oh really?” Ben said, the disbelief clear in his voice. “That’s why you’re snuggling close to Kush, is it? Just because he can move his hips a bit? You don’t think those huge muscles in his arms, or the fact he could probably crack walnuts with his legs is gonna impact your sex life at all? You think if he were built like a piece of willow you’d have the same enjoyment in bed? Pull the other one, darlin’. Trust me when I say from both sides of the story; thighs on a bloke are important.”

“Thighs are important,” Habiba nodded.

“Yeah alright,” Kat conceded. “Thighs are important. But you fellas will still never suffer the annoyance of going down on a guy with sticky lip gloss on, only to glance in the mirror after and it look like you’ve demolished your way through a pack of Cadbury’s crème eggs.”

“I think we’re embarrassing, Callum,” Habiba remarked, nodding to where he’s been following along with the conversation. “That acid wash really brings out the blush colour of his cheeks.”

“Nah, I’m alright,” he said, wishing he was curled up in Kush’s drawers. Not like that obviously. “I’m fine, honest. I don’t mind what you talk about.”

Kat kicked her shoes off and put her feet up on the sofa. “Yeah, we’re not including you in our complaints anyway, sweetheart.”

“Of course not,” Habiba said earnestly. “I’m sure you give Britney everything she needs.”

“Whitney.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. “I’m certain you said Britney, that one time you mentioned her.”

“Just leave him be, yeah?” Ben warned quietly.

Kat gave a tut. “Alright, gatekeeper!” she replied. “We was just trying to be nice! I’m sure he tickles his Whit’s fancy! And any of the girls that came before her, or hopefully did manage to come!” she said with a laugh. “Come on, Callum. How many you had before this one managed to tie you down?”

He froze a little, his eyes darting around him for help, but knowing that they couldn’t rest on Ben’s. Instead, he just looked towards Pixar. They’d dressed him up with some of the left over eighties costumes, so it was hard to keep a straight face when his little lamp covered mohawk and sweat band head was looking back at you. He just hoped that didn’t mean he wouldn’t help him.

_“Running just as fast as we can…”_

Habiba jumped up with a start. “What the hell is that?”

_“Holding on to one another’s hand…”_

Kush came sprinting out of the bedroom, his mullet waving with the speed. “Come on, you lot!” he shouted out as he continued sprinting towards the garden. “It’s the song! We’ve all got to get onto the stage quick!”

Callum bolted up, grabbing Ben’s arm on the way. “Kat, come on!” he called out as they made their way to the door with Habiba following behind with a continuous squeal.

“Alright!” she said with a fluster, trying to put her shoes on and staggering towards the patio. “I notice no ones dragging me along with them! A bit of chivalry would be nice!”

_“Trying to get away into the night…”_

They all managed to get out into the garden, as Isaac and Dotty were waiting on the stage, both with their arms folded and turned away from each other. Isaac has clearly been let out of the jail for the occasion. “Jesus, come on you two! We’re supposed to be dancing!” Ben exclaimed, looking at the state of both of them as he and Callum hopped up on to the stage. “Dotty wave your arms about a bit! You’re dressed like a stewardess, you might as well move like you’re giving the safety announcement!”

“Fuck off, Ben!” she retorted, but then reluctantly started to start to sway side to side.

_“Then you put your arms around me as we tumble to the ground and then you say…”_

Callum started to dance with Ben and Habiba, all three of them laughing. He was pleased that Ben was smiling, though he knew he would still be worried about Missy. The more absurdly he danced, the more it made Ben laugh. And that made him happy.

_“I think we’re alone now, there doesn’t seem to be anyone around…”_

“How long to we have to do this for?” Dotty whined as she staggered into a two step. “My feet are killing me and so is this song!”

“Just until it finishes,” Kush answered. “We’re all here now, so-“

He stopped mid sentence and his eyes became wide as he looked around the stage. It took them all a few seconds but they suddenly realised who was missing.

It wasn’t hard to miss him, in his bright, glaring shell suit, leaning against the wall and pursing his lips together defiantly. “Vin, come on, mate!” Isaac called out. “Get up here before the song stops!”

_“I think we’re alone now, the beating of our hearts is the only sound.”_

All Vinney did was mime zipping up his lips, locking them and throwing away the key. Big Brother had obviously ignored his request to keep his headphones, and this was his way of trying to rebel against them. Standing to the side so they would fail the task.

“Right, I ain’t having this!” Kush said, jumping down from the stage and running over to the man. Before Vinney could even protest, Kush hauled him up and flung him over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift, quickly waddling back to the stage and heaving himself up.

It didn’t matter that Vinney was trying to wriggle his way out of the grip, as only seconds later the music stopped. They had passed. For now.

It wasn’t until late in the afternoon that they were called back to the sofas to be given their individual challenges for the task. While Habiba went to the Diary Room to collect the instructions, Callum quickly moved from where he was sitting next to Ben, and took a seat next to Vinney, ignoring the stare he got.

“Look, I know you ain’t talking, and that’s your decision,” Callum said, bringing out something from behind his back. “But please at least take part in the group challenge. You don’t have to do your individual one, we’ll take the fail, but we can’t afford another one. Here, I thought these might help.”

He held out a pair of old headphones that he had taken down from the eighties decorations. They were made of flimsy black plastic and metal and spongy ear pieces, but they were accurate for the era. “I know it don’t make up for your ones, but it’s something, yeah?”

Vinney look at the set being held out towards him, and for a second Callum thought he was going to rip them out of his hands and throw them over the other side of the room. He didn’t though; he merely picked them up, wrapped them around his neck and gave Callum a nod.

“You’re too good for this place, you know?” Ben said, when he came back to settle down next to him. “I’m not sure you could do anything wrong if you tried.”

Before he could even utter a reply, Habiba came out of the diary room, dragging a huge box behind her, giving up halfway and depositing it in the middle of the floor. Kush ran up to help lift it the rest of the way, as she made her way back to the sofa and started giving out envelopes. _“Housemates, would you please read out your individual tasks starting in alphabetical order with Ben,”_ she read, plopping herself down.

Ben tore open the envelope, before letting his shoulders sag as his eyes started to read ahead of his mouth. _“Ben, there were one hundred and ninety one number one songs in the UK charts during the 1980s. In a few days time, Big Brother will be testing you on your knowledge by giving you random dates from this decade and asking you what song was number one on this day,”_ he read out. “Well, that’s one guaranteed fail then; I’m useless with dates!”

“I’ll help,” Callum said, elbowing him. “You’ve got all the rule book memorised, so this should be easy!”

Ben didn’t look convinced, but he gave Callum a smile and a nod to accept his offer, as Habiba passed him a binder. “Go on then,” he said. “Let’s see what impossible challenge you’ve got.”

As he tore open the envelope, Habiba put a box down on his lap that had his name on it. _“Callum, for your task this week, you will have to take care of the item in this box, making sure it stays safe, loved and cared for and in one piece by the end of the challenge,”_ he read out curiously before looking at the box in front of him.

He wasn’t sure what could be in it. It wasn’t a puppy or a cow, the container was far too small. He supposed maybe a mouse, but he couldn’t hear any scratching. His head started going through animals that were small enough to fit in the box, and he almost shuddered when he realised that spider would fit that criteria. How was that themed with the eighties though?

“Open it then!” Ben said, nodding. “It won’t bite! Or might possibly.”

Callum gave him a quick glare, before opening the container and peeking in, his heart rate automatically lowering when he saw what was inside. Reaching in, he gave a large smile when he pulled the item out.

“What the fuck is that?” Ben said, squinting at it.

Kat gave a laugh. “It’s a pet rock!” she explained, as Callum gave the object a little shake so her stuck-on googly eyes rattled. “I thought they were more seventies myself, but I suppose they were still knocking around by the next decade. It ain’t like Big Brother is exactly shit hot on accuracy though, is it?”

“I’m sorry, are you kidding me with this, Big Brother?” Ben said, scowling up at the ceiling. “His task is to stare at a lump of concrete for a few days, while I’ve got to memorise ten years of scripts from Top of the Fucking Pops? Are you actually having me on?”

“I’ve still got to take care of it,” Callum replied, throwing Pebbles from one hand to the other. “I’ve still got to pass that.”

Ben looked at him and just started to shake his head in disbelief. “It’s a shitting rock, Callum! It’s an immobile lump of nothing! If you put it on the shelf for a few days and forget about it, then you’ll still end up passing!”

Callum held up his card and waved it at Ben. “No! It says I’ve got to love it as well!”

“Oh well, that’s different,” Ben mocked, flinging himself back and glaring at Pebbles. “All that means is you leave it on the shelf and have to dry hump it once a day!”

Callum couldn’t help find Ben’s annoyance amusing, and as the man was taking off his jacket, he perched the rock on his knee. “She can help you with your task, if you like,” he said, reaching up and tickling the back of Ben’s hair.

The other man gave a reluctant shrug to shake off Callum’s fingers, but it was clear it was only for show. “She can piss right off, is what she can do!” he responded. “I ain’t having her staring at me while I’m trying to order Shakin’ Stevens songs.”

Callum continued to brush his fingers lightly over the back of Ben’s hair, just barely tickling the skin there. Just to make him feel better. He understood what his annoyance was actually about. “I’m sure she’ll be fine, Ben,” he whispered quietly, as Habiba started to open her envelope. “She’s probably enjoying being in a nice warm inside cage. No news is good news, yeah?”

He nodded, as Habiba stared curiously at her card. “When it says I have to wear the roller skates all the time, do you think that means in the shower?”

** Day Seventeen **

Callum was proud of himself for standing in the chicken coop. That was progress at least. It wasn’t even a question though, as he knew how tricky it would be for Ben with Missy not being here. He was currently giving Ann a cuddle, but Callum knew how hard it would be for him. They had both asked Big Brother what was happening with the poorly bird, but they had just replied that she was stable but still recovering.

The evening before, Big Brother had given them their individual tasks. As well as Ben’s memory task, and Callum looking after a pet rock, Habiba had to roller-skate everywhere, which had caused calamities already. Namely, when she had clambered up in the middle of the night to use the toilet and just rolled right into the door when Vinney was already in there. There was a lot of screaming involved, and clattering, before both parties exited red faced.

Isaac had been tasked with weaving friendship bracelets, Kush was responsible for learning to play ‘Only You’ on the electronic organ and Vinney had to wind miles and miles of tape back into VHS cassettes. Kat’s task seemed to be the most cumbersome; she had to wait until Big Brother gave her a name, before looking it up in a phone book and ringing the number on an old telephone they had hooked up by the wall. This was the first proper morning that they had started, and they had to ensure they made no mistakes in the next two days. They needed that luxury shopping budget.

“Do you think Kat and Kush will stay together when they get out of here?“ Callum asked, looking through the window to them cuddled on the sofa. “31st August 1985.”

“Frankie by Sister Sledge,” Ben replied. “I don’t know. It’s a weird environment this, ain’t it? It’s not real, but it feels it. I think they’re both enjoying themselves and leaving it at that.”

Callum fiddled with the pages of the binder. “Somethings are real though, ain’t they?” he asked, the words catching in his throat. “Not everything is just because of this place. It was ‘I Got You Babe’ by UB40.”

“Fuck! I’m never gonna get this!” he said, kicking at some of the straw on the ground. “Give me another one.”

Callum browsed through the list. “14th December 1981. Connie, get off!” he said, as the little bird shuffled around his toes.

Ben rubbed his forehead. “’Under Pressure’ by Queen and David Bowie?” he asked, clearly not certain at all. “Don’t be cruel to her, she’s only following you about because she fancies the very tight pants off you.”

“She’s a chicken!” Callum exclaimed back. “She ain’t trying to chat me up, Ben! Nah, it was ‘Don’t You Want Me’ by Human League.

Ben hit his hand on the post in frustration. “I knew that one! It was a Christmas number one!” he replied. “If she ain’t trying to pull you, then why she’s attacking her competition.”

Callum furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before looking down to the ground where Connie was pecking away at Pebbles’ head. “Shit! Con, back off!” he said, waggling his ankle at the bird to distract her. He managed to lift the rock up, and brush away some of the grit that had been dislodged. “See? Only a small dent.”

_“Children behave…”_

Callum groaned. This was the sixth time this morning they had played the song into the house. He set Pebbles down on the side of the fence with the binder, and quickly opened the gate, holding it open for Ben to follow.

_“That’s what they say when we’re together…”_

The rest of the housemates came trudging out the house, all except Habiba who slid and slipped her way out, veering towards the shed before managing to swing her arms around to change her direction. They were all frustrated with doing this now and that showed in the lack lustre dancing that followed.

_“And watch how you play…”_

There was a thump from the chicken coop, as the rock and binder fell off the wall and back into the pen. “Oh leave off, Con!” Callum shouted from the stage as the chicken kept pecking at Pebbles, finally getting a googly eye free. She seemed to flutter her wings with excitement as she swallowed it down. “Oh brilliant! What am I meant to do with a one eyed rock?”

Ben burst into a fit of laughter next to him.

_“They don’t understand…”_

Callum opened the Diary Room door, and slid himself into the seat. He couldn’t quite believe that this was only his second time nominating; it seemed like he had been here in this house forever. It was strange how quickly your life could change. Or perhaps it wasn’t you that changed at all, just your surroundings that heightened things that were already there.

Big Brother had announced that the nominations were about to start, just as he was talking Habiba through making dinner. It was possibly the most bizarre experience of his life, having to teach someone to cook without touching anything while they crashed into the fridge every two minutes, but they got there. The roast was in the oven, the gravy was on the stove and there were no disasters. This was the first meal they’d made together where nothing had gone wrong. Big Brother’s timing for the nominations may have affected a few of their appetites though.

Ben was in and out the Diary Room quickly, only staying for the length of time it took Callum to set the table. He knew Ben wouldn’t hold back on his words in there. They called Callum in soon after, and he left Habiba in charge of dishing up.

_“Good evening, Callum. Could you give Big Brother the name of your first nomination and the reason for this nomination.”_

“My first nomination is Isaac. He was careless with the chicken coop and left the gate open,” Callum said, knowing that this would be an obvious choice. “That ain’t on, especially when the result ends in someone being hurt.”

There was a moment of silence, and Callum wondered if he needed to expand on that. He had a few choice phrases he was holding back, but didn’t know if he would need to use them.

_“Callum, could you now please give the name of your second nomination and the reason for this nomination.”_

“My second nomination is Dotty,” he said, before pausing. “To be honest, I don’t like her and I don’t trust her. I don’t like how she talks to everyone, even her so called mates. I don’t like the way she wants to control everything and I don’t like what she does to Ben. She antagonises him deliberately, and it’s subtle and it’s sneaky, but it is always there. She hurts him and I ain’t having that.”

_“Thank you, Callum. You may now leave the diary room.”_

When he walked out, he expected everyone to be sitting down, starting to eat the meal. The table was still empty though as Habiba rolled over to him. He had to grab hold of her shoulders so she could stop. “Callum!” she groaned waving something wrapped in an oven glove at him. “You left this thing on the baking tray with the veg!”

Stepping back a little, he saw Pebbles, now without any eyes and with steam coming off her. “Her eye melted into the carrots!” Habiba continued, before leaning in to whisper conspiratorially. “Do you think Dotty will notice if we serve her that one?”

In the end, they threw away the damaged vegetable, although Ben suggested that the level of toxicity in the carrot wouldn’t make any difference to Dotty’s bloodstream. Habiba spent the rest of the evening painting some new eyes on Pebbles, and sat her next to Pixar on the side, hopefully out of the way of any danger.

Big Brother didn’t wait long after nominations to announce who was up for eviction, and Callum took a deep breath. He had been lucky the last two weeks, as he had won tasks that had made him immune. This was his first real test though. He could be up, and then he could be out.

_“This is Big Brother. The housemates up for eviction this week are, Isaac, Dotty, Ben and Vinney.”_

It wasn’t Callum, and he was a little shocked by that, but he didn’t feel relief, not when Ben had been nominated. “You alright?” he asked, as the others started to commiserate with those who had been selected.

Turning and giving him a quick smile, Ben nodded. “Ain’t much I can do about it, is there?” he replied, before his eyes narrowed as Isaac started to tentatively approach them.

“Look, Ben, I just want to apologise, yeah?” he said, perching on the seat next to them. “I know what I did was wrong, and I deserve to face the chop for it. I just get a bit out of my head when I’ve had a few drinks, but I’m not gonna drink in here anymore. I’m off the booze now. I’ve learnt by lesson man, and I hope we can put this behind us. “

Ben just gave a curt nod, as Isaac walked away. The man seemed to be at peace with being up for eviction. Callum thought he’d be upset and shouting the roof down, but he seemed genuinely remorseful. Vinney on the other hand was stomping around the house, still unwilling to speak until Big Brother let him have his headphones back, and showing his anger through his actions.

_“Running just as fast as we can…”_

Everyone gave a groan, as they got up and made their way towards the garden. It really didn’t feel like the time for dancing.

At first, Callum just thought it was the door to his bedroom at home groaning. When the window was left open just a touch, the hinges used to squeak and moan with the weight of the breeze. As he fluttered further into consciousness, he realised that he wasn’t in his bedroom at home, and those noises certainly weren’t the wind.

Sitting up, it was a little darker than it had been the other night, but he could still make out the very definite movement from Kat and Kush’s bed. He didn’t even need to see anything though, the squeaking of the bed frame and the awful attempt to cover the heavy breathing and grunts, made it obvious what was happening.

Callum looked around him. There was no way he could go back to sleep with that going on, even though everyone else seemed to be oblivious. He thought he should probably get out the room if he could, and was pleased to see the green light slashing over the bedroom door.

Dropping his feet to the floor, Callum shuffled the little distance to the next bed, before reaching down. He shook Ben’s arm gently to get him to wake up. “If you want to get in, I’m more than happy to give Habs a swift kick out of here, but I ain’t leaving this bed,” Ben muttered sleepily ,while pushing Callum’s hand away. He didn’t stop though, and just gave Ben a little tickle to his ribs instead, knowing it would wake him up a little more. It worked, and he started to squirm. “What?”

“Listen,” Callum whispered, and it wasn’t more than a few seconds before Ben sat up, grasping for his glasses on the table. Callum grabbed his hand, pulling him out of bed, and leading him towards the door as Ben stared open mouth at the rocking bed frame opposite them.

“Oh, please Big Brother, play that sodding song now!” Ben said, when they were safely outside. “I will do anything you ask!”

“Can you believe they’re doing that in here?” Callum said, looking back at the door as if he didn’t believe his own eyes and ears. “Won’t they worry about what people think?”

Ben shrugged. “They like each other, they’ve got a blanket over them and its dark and they’re both horny as hell,” he replied, stroking his thumb over Callum’s hand. “Who cares what people who don’t know them think!”

It was then that Callum noticed that their fingers were still linked together. They were standing in the house, in the glowing light, holding hands and he didn’t want it to stop. “I guess when you put it like that, it makes perfect sense.”

_“This is Big Brother. The door to the Snug is now open.”_

Ben and Callum looked questioningly at each other, and then around at the house. What the hell was the Snug?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	11. Week Three (Part 3)

They both continued to look at each other, as if the Snug was going to walk in and introduce itself, rather than having to find it themselves.

“The shed right?” Callum asked hesitantly. “That’s the only place it could be. Unless Big Brother put in another room,”

Ben cocked his head at him. “You think Big Brother’s had a loft conversion going on and we ain’t noticed?” he remarked. The little tickle he gave Callum’s hand with his thumb showed that it was only a teasing tone. “Come on, let’s go have a look. I ain’t going back in the bedroom while they’re over there frolicking around, looking and sounding like a couple of whales trying to slide their way down the M4.”

Ben still didn’t drop his hand, and almost seemed to squeeze tighter as they made their way through the house and to the patio doors. It didn’t feel wrong, and it didn’t look wrong. It wouldn’t to anyone else either. Kat came and held his hand for a little the other day on the sofa, and no one batted an eyelid. It didn’t feel like this, not anything like this, but it would look the same. To other people, it would look harmless.

The air was warm outside, and it toasted Callum’s skin immediately; though the night was dark, it had no chill in its breath. They approached the shed, and Ben raised his hand to the handle, pausing as Callum bit his lip nervously. “Right, I’ll tread on the first spider that comes out, but when the rest scurry up your joggers you’ll just have to claw them off you. Might need to take your bottoms off to really make sure there’s none ready to nibble at your bits.”

“Ben!” he said, pulling his hand away so he could give the laughing man a shove. “That ain’t funny!”

“Alright! Alright!” he said, and he reached for Callum’s hand again. He let him take it. “I’m sure Big Brother wouldn’t do that, or if they did, I’d hope that it was Dotty they’d inflict that on.”

Callum reached for the handle and quickly pulled it down, the door opening and light beaming out.

The room was small, not really big enough to fit more than three people at the most, and it was adorned with the same Scandinavian wood effect that that decorated the house and garden. Stepping in, it was as if the whole floor was made of a mattress, and there were fluffy pillows and blankets adorned with natural greys and browns with the slight tinge of blush pink in the detail. There were no lamps, just twinkling fairy lights glowing around the room, and an LED screen fire, crackling on one side of the wall.

“I wonder if this is what knocking shops look like in Sweden?” Ben said, giving one of the faux fur blankets a kick. “Check around, there might be a little naughty compartment somewhere with a smorgasbord of delights!”

“Why’d you think they didn’t have it open from the start?” Callum asked, sitting down at one end of the Snug, plumping the pillows behind him. He pulled one of the cosy blankets over his legs. It may have been humid outside, but the air conditioning was cranked up high in the room now that the door was closed. “Quite like it in here.”

Ben sat down on the wall opposite, lifting the blanket up and putting his legs under so his feet creeped up near Callum’s hips. “They were probably worrying that Isaac would piss in it, and waited until he was teetotal so the scent of urine didn’t settle. I mean, look at it. It weren’t designed for one of Dotty’s little coven meetings, were it?”

There was a silence in the room, just the low crackle of the artificial fire that seemed to spark and spit and bring a heat to Callum’s cheeks. He looked down to watch his hands fiddle with the tufts of fur, unsure what to say.

There was a soft finger at his ankle, just brushing the skin, and circling round. It was so gentle and unpredictable that it tickled, the nerves flinching and causing Callum to smile. “That’s better,” Ben said, his voice low, harmonising with the cracking of the fire. “Pretty sure that a kitten dies somewhere every time you frown.”

“Could do with a beer,” he said, as Ben now put his whole hand around his ankle and started to slowly apply pressure, moving his hand up and down. If he just kept talking, he could almost ignore the way his toes contracted as his muscles in his foot hardened. “Think the best we got in the fridge is half a bottle of lemonade.”

“I’ll tell you what, now Isaac’s off the sauce, next time we get some booze as a reward there should be enough left to make a race horse keel over. I promise to ply you with enough alcohol to get you as merry as you like!” Ben assured him. “That should be half a shandy and a weak vodka and cranberry from what I’ve seen!”

Callum gave another smile and swallowed deeply, as Ben continued to rub at his ankle, squeezing his fingers before releasing and drawing circles with his thumb. Before he could think too much about it, Callum reached his own hand under the blanket and shuffled his fingers against the sole of his foot.

Ben wrinkled his nose a little and flicked his foot. “Ticklish everywhere, me,” he said, as Callum stilled his foot with the palm of his hand. He walked his fingers up a little and started to weave his thumb through the soft hair on Ben’s leg. “You know one of my secrets.”

Big Brother must have turned the air conditioning down, because the air felt warm and sticky in the room. “Everyone’s got secrets, ain’t they?” Callum admitted, mimicking the actions on Ben’s ankle that he could feel on his own leg. “Little things that they hide away cause they think people will judge them.”

“There’s big things and all though, ain’t there?” Ben replied, and his hand started to move deeper now, his fingertips digging pressure into Callum’s skin, waving the feeling up his leg. “Things we keep hidden deep down cause we judge ourselves more than anyone else ever could.”

Callum didn’t want to think too much anbout it, not when they were here, like this and he was getting pulled in with the tide. “What you said before, when we were talking about Kat and Kush,” he started. The comments in the chicken coop had been playing on his mind a little. “About all this not being real. Did you mean it?”

Ben took a deep breath and tickled his fingers against Callum’s calf. “In a way,” he confessed. “This ain’t a proper house, we’re controlled, we’re led and manipulated. We’re away from everything we know, and that at some point will come flooding back into our lives. Our world is really small in here, so some things seem more important than they would if we were in the outside.”

“Oh, ok,” he replied, scratching his nails up and down Ben’s leg. It wasn’t the answer he was hoping for. He didn’t really know what he hoped for, but he knew it wasn’t that.

“Not you, Callum,” he almost whispered back. “There’s no one like you outside of here. You’re important everywhere. I’m not knocking around with you in here cause you’re the only option. I wouldn’t bother with anyone if I didn’t want to.”

“Why you so bothered about me then?” he asked, almost feeling the pads of Ben’s fingertips shoot up his leg in sparks.

Ben’s hand stopped, it was still and that was even more unbearably delicious than the movement, just feeling the solid weight and grip on his skin. “Callum,” Ben said, pausing until he looked up at the sound of his name. “What is this?”

The sound of the door opening clattered their world, and he pulled his knees up as a reflex to the intrusion. “Oh my God! The noises that are coming out of that bed,” Habiba said, rubbing her arms when the cool air met her body. “It sounds like mating season at Jurassic Park!”

“They’re still at it, then?” Ben asked, his voice keeping a neutral sound, but Callum could see his face fall slightly as he brought his hand out from under the blanket and folded his arms. “I’m mildly impressed they were as quiet as they were to be honest. Everyone knows what they’re doing; I’d say fuck the cameras and just crack on getting my end away.”

“Why wait till everyone’s in the bedroom, anyway?” Habiba said, kicking at the blanket a little before coming to sit at Callum’s side. “Wow, this so comfy. I mean, I know it’s dark, but they’re under a blanket! They might as well just do it in the day when everyone is in the lounge! It’s not exactly the most romantic setting, when you’ve got Vinney farting and Isaac clearing his throat like he’s got half a litter of frogs down there. If they really wanted to be alone and have a bit of romantic time, they you’d think they’d come out here so they wouldn’t be disturbed…Oh.”

Habiba’s eyes shuffled from Ben to Callum and then back again. “What?” he asked when guilt started to show on her face.

“Do you want me to go?” she asked, shuffling a little as if making to stand up. “I don’t want to disturb anything that’s going to happen. Or that has happened. It hasn’t, has it? Eww, I’m not sitting in anything suspect am I?”

“Sit down, Habs,” Ben said, a little frustration in his voice, as Habiba started to scrabble up the wall. “You’re not interrupting anything.”

Callum knew that was aimed at him a little, but he couldn’t do anything about it now. “Are you sure?” she asked, wriggling back into Callum’s side. “Because I could always just go back to bed and see if I can get back to sleep. I could try counting sheep, or the amount of times Kush’s balls slap against skin.”

“No, it’s fine, Habs,” Callum clarified, though he missed the touch of Bens hand on his body. It felt like it had always been there, and now its absence was conspicuous. “You know we love having you around.”

“Oh thank God!” she said, giving an audible sigh of relief. “Although, is anyone else picturing fluffy woollen testicles jumping over a fence now?”

_“Look at the way, we gotta hide what we’re doing…”_

“No! I’ve just got comfortable!” Habiba cried, though Callum was sure she was thankful it was outside of her roller skating hours. “They always play it at the worst times.”

_“Cause what would they say, if they ever knew…”_

The three of them made it outside, as the rest of the housemates were making their way through the patio doors, all looking a little worse for wear.

“Gives another meaning to ‘pulling out in time’, don’t it?” Ben said, grinning towards Kat who staggered onto the stage, her hair going in all directions and makeup smudged on her face. “Big Brother didn’t ruin your pace, did he?”

“We were already done, smart arse-face!” Kat replied, swaying unenthusiastically. “I was just on my way to have a wee when they played the music. Big Brother knows I’d go in there and rip the microphone to shreds if they tried to stop me getting my kicks.”

The music stopped, and they all tiredly jumped off the stage. “You can all come back to bed now!” Kat called out, as Kush winced and covered his face. “We’ll be as quiet as little mice. I’m all shagged out!”

That was it then. There wasn’t any excuse not to go back into the bedroom, and Callum followed them all back in, settling in next to Isaac as the bedroom light went out. Ben had felt a little colder since Habiba had come into the Snug, and Callum knew he’d said or not said something that had made the other man take a little step back. He didn’t want that.

“Ben,” he whispered, turning on his side to face the other man’s bed. “Ben! August 25th 1986!”

“What?” Ben responded, turning towards him and opening his eyes.

Callum shuffled a little closer to the edge of the bed, so he was practically hanging off the mattress. “1986! 25th of August,” he repeated, biting his lip and waiting for a response.

Ben’s eyes seemed to look to the left for a minute, as his eyebrows furrowed. Then his whole face softened and he reached out his hand. Callum took it, linking together their fingers. He’d missed this.

** Day Eighteen **

The next day passed in a blur, as they were all trying to complete their tasks, determined to win the luxury shopping budget. Isaac’s hands were practically trembling with every friendship bracelet he weaved. He’d replaced alcohol with coffee, and was chugging it back every minute. It was fair to say he had made the bracelets, but they looked like they would fall apart with an attempt to attach them to a wrist.

Kat seemed to enjoy looking through the phone book and ringing the numbers. He couldn’t blame her, having something to do during the long days was helpful. On the other hand, if she hadn’t been so preoccupied with the task, maybe her and Kush would go off and shag during the day, and let them all get an undisturbed night’s sleep. Dotty hated her tetherball challenge, visibly steaming with every knock of the ball.

Ben was still staring and studying his song binder throughout the day, having to rescue it from being rolled over by Habiba twice. To her credit, she had roller skated everywhere, including once into the pool and three times ending up on Kush’s lap. Callum knew his task was the easiest out of everyone, and Pebbles was still standing. There was an unfortunate incident where he had to fish her out of the bin earlier, but he thought she actually looked good with spaghetti for hair.

There was only Vinney who hadn’t even attempted his task. He was still staying mute, and had refused a few times to take part in the group challenge. Callum gave it one last chance, going over to sit with him when he saw the man was alone on the bench in the garden.

“Alright, mate?” he said, taking a seat and trying not to just thrust the VHS tapes into Vinney’s hand and winding it up himself. He’s not sure Big Brother would see that as a pass. “Look, I get you’re upset, and if I could do something I would, but you know what Big Brother are like. They want you to react like this. Don’t give them what they want.”

Vinney remained silent, and Callum thought he’d been unsuccessful until his voice quietly spoke a few minutes later. “I know what everyone is thinking,” he said quietly. “They’re thinking I’m just being some spoilt brat cause I can’t wear what I want, but it ain’t like that.”

Callum waited for a little moment before he tried to entice more information. “Well, what’s it like?” he asked. “Tell me.”

“They ain’t even new,” Vinney started to say, playing with the old pair of headphones Callum had given him. “They’re over eight years old and they only worked for a couple of months. I know everyone thinks I’m wearing them to get my name out as a DJ, but that ain’t it. My dad give them to me and I ain’t seen him since then. I hoped that if he was watching this, then he’d see how much I liked them and want to get in touch.”

Callum understood that. He wondered if his mum was flicking through the channels and then stopped when she suddenly saw him on television. It was more likely though, that she was watching every night and had no clue that he was even her son.

“He might do,” Callum said, offering a little hope. It was fleeting and unlikely, but it was something that he could hold on to. “He might see this and want to give you a call.”

“What if the only episode he watches is the one I’m not allowed to wear them, though?” he replied, his head down. “He won’t know. He’ll be watching and won’t know how much I love him.”

“He’ll know,” Callum replied, giving him a comforting hand on his shoulder. “He’ll know. I don’t think it’s about you, in a way. He’d probably dead proud. He probably just don’t think he’s good enough, or don’t deserve your love.”

Vinney nodded, and paused again before pulling on the old pair of headphones. “Best get winding up those tapes, eh?”

**Day Nineteen**

“Kush, you’re pressing the same wrong note every time!” Ben exclaimed, his head fully in his song binder. “You’ve only got another half hour to learn that tune!”

Pushing the keyboard away with a sigh, Kush leaned back with a huff. “I’ve almost got it!” he responded determinedly. “It’s just that one little part holding me back!”

“Just give it a few more goes, Kush. You’re almost there, mate!” Callum said, pulling the binder away from Ben. They were all reaching the end of their time, and were starting to panic about the completion of their tasks. “10th of June 1989.”

“Sealed with a Kiss by Jason Donavon,” Ben replied quickly. “Is Vinney anywhere near getting those tapes wound up?”

Callum looked at the corner where the young man was sitting, trying to furiously wind the tape back into the cassettes. “No, I think it was a bit too much after he wasted all that time. I don’t think he’ll even be close,” he said. He was proud that he gave it a go though. “8th of October 1988.”

“Desire by U2. Well at least we know Dotty’s passed. Standing out there batting away any balls that come towards her,” Ben replied, peering outside to where the woman angrily completed her challenge in the drizzle. “It’s perfect for her! You however, I don’t hold out much faith for!”

Callum scowled a little, but then soon dropped the expression when he looked at Pebbles sitting on the table. She was currently sitting on a coaster with a flannel wrapped around her. Callum had left her outside that morning, and had come back in the afternoon after a flash storm, to find two snails and a slug perched on her head. He had given her a good wash though, and wrapped her up warm. That had to count for something. “I’ve loved her in my own way,” he replied. “4th July 1987.”

“Callum, you’ve dropped her, burnt her, left her in the freezer, left her in the rain, melted her eyes and got her head almost pecked off,” Ben exclaimed. “Now I don’t claim to understand women, but unless you bury your head between her rocky thighs for the next two hours, I don’t think there’s much chance of her giving you a glowing review. Pet Shop Boys, It’s a Sin.”

_“This is Big Brother. Would Ben please come to the diary room.”_

After taking a deep breath, Ben got up and started to walk towards the other end of the house, as Kush picked up his keyboard and started to play again.

“Ben!” Callum called, waiting until he looked back to speak. “24th December 1983.”

It took a second, but Ben’s face spread into a grin. He gave Callum a nod as Kush continued to play, and disappeared into the diary room door.

Callum thought Ben would only be in there for ten minutes, it couldn’t take that long to answer a few questions surely. However, he was still sitting on the sofa half an hour later, looking at the locked light on the Diary Room, willing it to change to green.

“A watched door never boils,” Habiba said, browsing through the Welcome Pack. “Did you know there was a recipe for bread in here? I should give that a go tomorrow. Paul Hollywood said I had the best buns in East London.”

“Shouldn’t he be out by now?” Callum asked, as if Kush and Habiba had some expert knowledge on eighties music quizzes during reality shows. “What if something’s happened?”

“He’s answering questions about Wham, not running into a burning building,” Kush said, as he missed the note again. “Arse it!”

Thankfully, the diary door opened and he saw Ben’s face beam round at him. Looking down, he could see the reason for his happiness curled up in his arms. Missy.

“She’s alright then?” Callum said, standing up and not helping but to match Ben’s smile as he joined them on the sofa. “She can come back into the house?”

_“This is Big Brother. Would Kush please come to the diary room.”_

They all wished him good luck, as he slowly made his way, his fingers miming pressing down the right keys as he went. “Should she be in here?” Habiba said, slightly wrinkling up her nose at the chicken sitting next to her. “You leave her too near the kitchen and Callum will have her in a pie before she can cluck for help.”

“Oi!” Callum tutted. It just wasn’t true. It would take a long time to roll out the pastry. “I ain’t a complete monster. Do you think you passed your test?”

Ben just shrugged, fluffing Missy’s black feathers. “I don’t know, they’re going to let us know later,” he replied. “I think this could be a close one.”

“I don’t think there was anything wrong with my bracelets!” Isaac exclaimed, when Big Brother announced he had failed his individual challenge. “I’d wear them!”

“Three glasses of Merlot and that’s all you’d wear!” Dotty snarled back. “They were shit, Isaac. It’s a task that an 8 year old could have done.”

So far, Big Brother had revealed that Dotty, Kat and Habiba had passed their tasks, Ben had got all the answers right on his quiz, and Kush had successfully learnt to play ‘Only You’. As Callum suspected, Vinney hadn’t managed to reel up enough VHS tapes in order to pass the individual task, despite working constantly for the past day. They hadn’t passed the group task either, due to the times he missed getting on the stage, and he could see how deeply the guilt lay on the young man’s face.

_“Finally, Callum was tasked with taking care of his Pet Rock-“_

All eyes were on him now. Including Pebbles’ wonky ones.

_“Five minutes after Callum received his task, he used the pet rock to scrape some mud off his shoe, occurring a fail for his induvial challenge. He proceeded to occur another twenty seven fails during his time caring for the pet rock.”_

“Well, if you’re going down you might as well go the whole hog,” Ben said, giving him a conciliatory rub on the arm. “That’s your motto, ain’t it Kat?”

As Kat flipped him off, Big Brother came back on to announce the overall results of the tasks. Callum knew though; they all did.

_“As Housemates failed four of the challenges, they have failed the task this week and will be given a basic shopping budget. However, to celebrate housemates’ efforts, Big Brother will reward them with an eighties themed party tonight.”_

There was a small cheer at that. They wouldn’t have all their little luxuries for the next week, but they could enjoy themselves tonight.

“I didn’t like that yellow one as much as the blue one,” Callum slurred, pouring out another drink into his glass. “This red one tastes like strawberries though.”

The party was in full swing, and Big Brother hadn’t let them down on the refreshments. There were pitchers of cocktails, arriving in colourful glory to the stockroom. Isaac’s shoulders had slumped when he saw how much was provided, grabbing a bottle of fruit juice instead and slumping off to a corner.

They were all dressed in their eighties outfits, although Big Brother had provided Habiba with some new footwear for the occasion. “Why don’t my shoes have a skeleton?” she asked, waving the jelly shoes in the air.

There was also a range of tunes from the decade being played into the house. Big Brother had even put in a makeshift checked dancefloor with disco balls spread around the area. Callum had only meant to have the one cocktail, it would have been rude not to try them at least. He found them moreish though, and they didn’t even taste like they had any alcohol in them at all.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Ben said, taking a swig of his beer, and glancing at Callum’s lips. “Or maybe I’ll have a little taste later.”

“Are you really just gonna stick with that beer?” Callum said, leaning close. He let their arms touch. He wanted to feel him there up against him. It made his body buzz. “Why don’t you join us on the cocktails?”

Ben leaned up to twirl the little umbrella in Callum’s glass. “Well, for a start you’re putting away enough for both of us,” he replied. “One of us has got to stay a little sober.”

“Why?” Callum asked, putting his glass down and linking his little finger with Ben. “Ain’t like either of us are driving anywhere. There’s absolutely no reason why we both can’t get plastered. You ain’t worried you’ll do something you’ll regret, are you?”

Ben glanced at the jugs of alcohol sitting on the side and then back at Callum, shutting his eyes with a disappointed sigh. “Trust me, it ain’t me who I’m worried would have the regrets,” he said wiggling Callum’s finger affectionately. “I’ve gotta be a good boy for once.”

_“Children behave, that’s what we say when we’re together…”_

There was a slight groan that went around the house, and they all had to stifle the impulse to run out into the garden. Callum loved that they were playing this though. “It’s the song, Ben!” he said, as if they hadn’t all heard it twenty times in the last few days. He quickly picked up and downed the rest of his cocktail, before linking their hands together and pulling him towards the dance floor. “Come on, dance with me!”

It wasn’t though Ben had much choice, but he certainly didn’t push him away when Callum rounded his arms around his neck and pulled him close. “Not really a slow dance song,” he commented into Callum’s shoulder a minute later, after rubbing his hands up and down his back. Ben brought them around to the front and pushed him away slightly. “Bit too fast for that.”

“Don’t you want to give me a cuddle?” he replied, the words that he knew should have stayed at the back of his mind hitching a ride on the effects of the drink. He stepped back a little and frowned. That’s all he wanted right now; just Ben wrapped around his body, and also another one of those pink drinks.

“I was giving you a cuddle, Callum,” Ben said, slightly sighing at him and rubbing his head. “I was doing that, despite the large danger sign I can see out the corner of my eye.”

Callum reached out and took the zip on Ben’s jacket in his hand, fiddling with it as it clinked and clanked in his fingers. “Feels like your heart ain’t in it,” he said, though he wasn’t sure what he felt right now. His thoughts were shaking up and down in his head, zooming around like cars.

“Believe me, it ain’t my heart I’m worried about getting too involved!” he said, before meeting Callum’s eyes. He gave a sigh again, and his expression softened and he opened his arms up. “Come on! Come here then!”

Falling back into Ben’s body he tightened his grip and buried his nose into his neck, swaying their bodies completely out of time to the song. He breathed in, and inhaled the familiar scent. He smelt so amazing. “You smell so amazing,” Callum said, the words seemingly falling out of his head to his mouth as though they were suddenly going down a slide.

Ben chuckled into him, but stilled when Callum brushed his lips over his neck. He took Callum’s arms from around his neck, and stepped back more this time. “You’re drunk, Callum, yeah?” he said. “We gotta stop.”

“I’ve only had a drink or two,” Callum explained back. It wasn’t enough, just so he was a little tipsy. He had this freedom coursing through his body and he just wanted to be near Ben. That’s all he wanted right now. It was the only thing that mattered. “We ain’t started anything!”

Ben rubbed his face in his hands again, leaving them together in a prayer. “Yes, we have,” he replied softly. “We really have.”

“Running just as fast as we can!” Kat shouted in his ear, trying to reach up and swing her arm around his shoulders, as she bopped along to the song. “Come on, Kush! Get in here!”

Kush and Habiba came running up, the latter grabbing Ben’s arm and pulling him into the huddle. “I think we’re alone now!” they all started to sing, beckoning the others over. They all came and joined the huddle, even Dotty who probably had some of her hatred watered down by some fruity green concoction, and danced and jumped up and down as loudly as they could. “The beating of our hearts is the only sound!”

“Don’t tell anyone, but he’s proper good looking, ain’t he?” Callum mumbled, taking another swig of his cocktail. “You think he’s good looking, yeah?”

Pixar merely whirred in agreement, the mullet making it impossible to know if he was replying seriously or not. Pebbles wasn’t much better, she just stared glassy eyed at the room. Callum was sitting on the floor with his drink, as the music continued to play. The room was becoming a little fuzzy now, but he could still make out Ben sitting on the sofa chatting to some of the other housemates.

“Not like Kush; he looks like somewhere there’s a Disney film that’s missing its prince,” he continued, as Pixar turned around briefly to check. “But Ben, he’s like sexy good looking. I just want my hands on him, d’ya know what I mean?”

Not having any hands, he supposed Pixar couldn’t really relate. “He’s amazing as well, you’ve seen that yeah?” Callum continued, knocking back the rest of the red liquid and putting the glass down, trying three times to keep it up right before he just let it fall down. “When I’m with him, I feel like there’s no one else in the world, just me and him. And I don’t care. No one else matters. He makes me feel like I matter.”

Callum pulled himself up. He wanted to go tell Ben that. It was important that he knew. Before he even remembered walking over, he was sitting on the sofa, kneeling up and putting his arms around Ben, pressing their heads together.

“He’s a clingy drunk, ain’t he?” Kat cackled from the other couch. “Bless him, he’s all over you like a limpet on a boat. I’ll give you a million quid if you can make it through the rest of the night without him giving you a stiffy.”

“Seeing as I would have lost that bet about an hour ago, you can shove your monopoly money back in your knickers!” Ben replied. Callum wasn’t really listening though, the sound and chatting just blurred into the background. Ben’s hair was the only important thing in the world right now, and he had to keep running his fingers through it. “If anyone ever again questions my self control, I’m going to lose my shit at them!”

“I ain’t drunk,” Callum responded to the question, scratching his nails along Ben’s neck. “I don’t think the drinks even had any booze in them. They were definitely on-nalacholic.”

“Yeah, alright then, mate!” someone said. It sounded very Disney Prince like. “On a scale from Smurf to Avatar, Ben, how blue are your balls actually getting?”

Ben seemed to lean back into his fingers, closing his eyes for a second. “Honestly? I think Dulux would have to create a new shade,” he replied, giving a long sigh. Callum felt his hand being pulled away, and he pouted in response. He needed to touch Ben’s hair. “I’m getting to the point where I’ve even worried about sneezing cause I’m not sure what will shoot out.”

“I don’t mean to be a killjoy,” Habiba interrupted. Callum just drowned her out though, her voice seeming tinny and unimportant when he managed to lean his head against Ben’s and get his hand back in his hair. Success. “But shouldn’t we think about the rhino in the room? Poor Winnie is sitting at home currently watching her fiancée practically dry hump someone else on national television.”

The voices all stopped their chatting then, and Callum remembered he had something important to say to Ben. “I’ve got something important to tell you.”

Ben just rubbed his hand up and down Callum’s thigh. “Yeah?” he said, leaning back so he could look Callum in the eyes. “Is it about how you think the little camera over there is planning a coup over Big Brother? Cause you told me that about half hour ago.”

“No!” he said insistently, standing up and pulling at Ben’s hand. “It’s really important, Ben. I wanna tell you in private though. I don’t want anyone else to hear.”

“Really?” Ben replied, letting himself be pulled up and away from the sofas. “We going for a two mile walk are we?”

Callum stopped, they’d gotten far away from the lounge, and he dropped onto the floor with a thud, pulling Ben down with him. He pointed at himself, and then at Ben, before returning his finger to rest against his own chest. “I matter,” he said, hoping that his point was clear. His head was blurring everything up. “You and me. This. We matter.”

Ben simply smiled at him, and Callum knew he didn’t get it. He couldn’t say the right words as usual, and instead just dropped down on his back, laying there and looking up to the ceiling.

“The wall is moving,” Callum said, his eyes being drawn around him. “Why is Big Brother moving the walls?”

All of Callum’s body felt light, and drifting back and forth like he was in a hammock, as his head swelled. “They’re still moving when I close my eyes.”

He felt a touch to his forehead, and he let his eyes flutter open as the light sizzled into his view. “First rule of being pissed as a pompom; never lie down unless you’re in a bed, cause you ain’t getting back up again in a hurry,” Ben said, just brushing one finger by his hairline gently. Callum rocked himself up so he was upright, and a little bit of lightness came back to his head. That was a good choice. “Second rule, once you’re down, don’t sit up too quick.”

All the heaviness from his head seemed to suddenly slide down and hit his stomach, spinning and spinning with the image being beamed in front of his eyes. Callum gripped the side and tried to quickly pull himself up, his legs apparently being swapped with that of a newborn giraffe. He got up, and was pleased that he kept his balance, though found it unusual that the coffee table was moving towards him. “I don’t feel so good,” he said towards one of the Bens that was holding on to his arm.

He could feel the heat start to bubble up and inflame his insides, and he staggered to the direction he thought the bathroom was in. He passed Habiba at some point, bit she seemed to blur and smudge in his image.

Finally, he reached the bathroom, not quite remembering the steps that got him there. He must have knocked on the door to check the toilet was clear, but all he recalled was the cold ceramic in front of him as his stomach retched up its contents.

It didn’t stop until his throat started to burn and his forehead was slick with sweat. He leaned over and flushed the toilet, crawling out and falling back against the wall, leaning his head on the surface. It was a moment later that he felt the touch to his hair again. “Take a sip of this,” Ben said, holding a glass of water in front of Callum as he kneeled down next to him. “Only a sip, mind. You gulp it down and it’ll just come straight back up.”

“Urrghh,” Callum replied, taking the glass to his hand and lifting it up so a small amount could pass through his lips, amplifying the acrid taste on his tongue. “It’s warm.”

Ben brought up a damp cloth, and gently brushed it against Callum’s forehead. “Yeah, well anything too cold will make you chuck up as well. Little sips; downing it in one won’t get rid of the taste.”

“I don’t feel so good,” he said again as Ben brought the cloth down his cheeks. It was cooling, and took away the intensity of the heat, but not the swirl and fuzziness that pooled in Callm’s brain. He put down the glass and let his head fall forward, needing to have something for it to rest against. Ben’s shoulder seemed the perfect place. “I feel sick.”

“You better not chuck up on this top,” Ben said with a chuckle, smoothing down Callum’s hair gently. “Knowing my luck Big Brother will charge me for the dry cleaning cost.”

“I threw up on a squirrel once,” he admitted, remembering the little creature yapping back at him and waving his paw-fist. “He weren’t happy. I don’t think he liked me very much. You won’t hate me, will you?”

Ben laughed again and Callum could feel it vibrate gentle against his cheek. “Are there any animals you don’t piss off on a regular basis? You ain’t exactly Snow White, are you?” he replied, before taking a breath. “I couldn’t hate you if I tried. Take more than your sick to put me off.”

Callum hummed into Ben’s neck, the rhythm of his fingers stroking against his back soothing and settling. The light was pounding loudly in his head though, and holding the rest of his body up was now becoming a chore. He slid his legs down and let his cheek press on Ben’s upper thigh, his hand gripping on lower by his knee. The hand quickly returned to Callum’s body, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “I think I died,” he groaned out. “Get Bigs Brothers to call the police and tell them I died.”

Ben moved his hand, running it up Callum’s arm, stopping to place two fingers on his wrist. “Nope, still alive,” he replied, rubbing softly there. “I’ll go ask Big Brother for something to settle your stomach if you’re not better in a bit.”

“Don’t leave me,” Callum said. The leg attached to Ben was the only thing keeping him falling into an abyss.

“I won’t go yet!” Ben replied, returning his hand back to Callum’s back, rubbing up and down. “Not gonna leave you here, spread eagled alone on the tile, am I?”

“No,” Callum said, trying to shake his head, but finding out it was a terrible idea when his brain started rattling about, bashing from one side of his skull to the other. “Don’t ever leave me.”

There was a pause, just the faint chatter of voices coming through from the main part of the house. “What never?” Ben asked quietly. “Might be a promise I can’t keep for long if I’m chucked out on Friday.”

”I’ll come with you,” Callum said. He couldn’t stay here without Ben. He wouldn’t. “I don’t want to be anywhere that you aren’t.”

He heard Ben swallow and then clear his throat as his hand stilled on Callum’s back. “Habs!” he called out, carefully keeping his tone low. “Habiba!”

A moment later, Callum noticed a pair of jelly shoes appear in front of his nose. “Oh my god!” she hissed. “Is he dead?”

Ben sighed. “Yeah, I decided the best way to react if one of us snuffed it was to sit here in the bathroom, and get you to leisurely stroll in to call time of death!” he remarked. “I just need to pop and see Big Brother, and ask them what they want me to do with him. Can you watch him for a minute?”

Habiba’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “What do I need to do to him? You don’t want me to pump his stomach do you?” she asked. “I’m not trained in that; I’ve only done it twice.”

“Just watch him!” Ben said, putting his hand underneath Callum’s cheek so it didn’t smash down into the tile when he stood up. “You don’t have to do anything apart from look at him.”

“Don’t go,” Callum said, when he realised Ben wasn’t there anymore. “Don’t leave me.”

Ben’s foot was tapping furiously, and started to walk away when it suddenly got closer. “I’ll be back, babe, alright?” he said, lowering his face down next to Callum and speaking in a whisper. “Habs will be here with you. She’ll look out for you when I’m not here, ok?”

Callum blinked in acknowledgement as he walked away, and Habiba kneeled down next to him. “Where’d Ben go?” he asked when she patted him on the head.

“He’s just popped to the Diary Room,” she replied, clicking her tongue against her mouth. “He won’t be long. I don’t think he could stay away if he tried.”

“I don’t want him to go, Habs,” Callum said, trying to pull himself up off the floor. It didn’t work though. He just fell back down. “We should be together.”

Habiba went wide eyed again, and then Callum felt her hand being smacked over his mouth. “I’m going to say the same thing to you Callum, as I did to Pixie Lott in rehab,” she said, bringing her hand away and giving a grimace. “No one’s ever had their heart broken by opening their windows or their legs, but loose lips can break them. Well I suppose, if a murderer comes in through your window and stabs you to death, or you’re really going for it during a session and you have a congenital defect with your valves, but my point stands! Just be careful what you say in here. The toothpaste can’t go back in the tube.”

Callum thought through what she said and she had a point. “You’re right,” he said, hauling himself up. “I need to clean my teeth. My breath must stink.”

“You’re not supposed to be moving!” Habiba hissed. “Ben promised that all I’d have to do was look at you!”

Stumbling to the sink, he couldn’t quite focus on the image in front of him, but he knew it wouldn’t look good. He started to hit at the tap, until he realised there was water coming out of it. His stomach started to lurch, but he managed to keep it down and he splashed water on his face. He wasn’t sure where his toothbrush was, so he just squirted some toothpaste into his mouth. He didn’t even think it was his toothpaste, and it did not taste good.

“Oh god! That’s a face exfoliator, Callum!” Habiba squealed, as he stumbled into the toilet again and started to throw up into the bowl. “Ben is going to kill me if he comes out to find you chucking up, even if the inside of your mouth will have unclogged pores!”

Callum wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and clung to the wall using it to pull himself back to the tap. He stuck his head underneath it, letting some of the water drain onto his tongue before swirling it and spitting it out. He ran a little bit over his face with his hands, and through his hair before stepping back hesitantly. He wasn’t quite sure he could feel what his legs were doing.

“I’m gonna go to bed,” he said, needing his body to be horizontal again. He felt like a spirit level that someone had propped up the wrong way. “Where’s Ben?”

“He’ll be out of the Dirary Room in a minute!” she said, pulling at her hair frantically. “You’ll know when because he’ll be standing here wringing my neck! Can’t you just lie back down on the ground?”

“I’m gonna find Ben,” he said with a sniff. He had been gone for what seemed like forever and he needed him here. “Then I’m gonna go to bed.”

Habiba grabbed onto his arm, and the friction of her jelly shoes managed to keep them both from moving. “Let’s go to bed, now, yeah?” she said, reasoning with him. “That way at least you’ll be laying down, and I won’t be gutted on sight! Then I’ll go find Ben if he’s not back by then, alright? I’ll storm down the diary room if I have to!”

Callum nodded at that, as his stomach swirled again and someone seemed to have turned his head into a ball of cotton wool. He let himself be led through the house by Habiba. Giving a wave to all the housemates sitting there in the lounge as he passed. He could see them if he really tried, but it was like looking at a memory, or seeing them out the corner of your eye. They were blurry and undetailed, and he didn’t catch that Kat was speaking to him until he was suddenly in the bedroom.

He motioned towards a mattress ready to lay down on it. “No!” Habiba said, still pulling him by the arm. “That’s Dotty and Vinney’s bed! You really don’t want to be in there when they come in to go to sleep. They’ll be a massacre that will make Goldilocks and the Three Bears look like a polite misunderstanding. I’d stay clear of Kush and Kat’s bed as well unless you’ve suddenly got an inkling for a threesome.”

“Where’s Ben?” he said turning towards Habiba. He’d gone. He wasn’t there and he wanted him back. He needed to talk to him. He needed him here.

“This is very possibly the worst moment of my life!” she said, as he stumbled towards the next bed. “No! That’s where Ben sleeps! Callum!”

He flopped down on the bed, leaning and falling until his legs were still hanging off the edge, but his head was now on the pillow. It smelled like him. It smelled amazing.

There was a pull at this foot. “Please, Callum! You’re so close to your own bed!” she pleaded, pulling at his jeans. “Don’t make me hit you with a jelly shoe, Callum…the bartender!”

With the last drop of energy, Callum wiggled his foot to shake her off, before he heard a voice enter the room. “What did you do to him?! I asked you to watch him!”

“I did watch him!” Habiba appealed. “I watched as he staggered in here and dropped down on our bed. He was drawn in by the smell of you like a beetle to dung!”

Ben gave a sigh. “Alright, I know,” he conceded. “Big Brother said to just keep an eye on him and make sure he drinks water. I’ll give him something for his head and stomach in the morning. You get yourself back out with everyone else”

Callum closed his eyes for a second, as the silence loudly boomed through his head. He felt his shoes and socks being taken off. “Feet are cold,” he said, as the air conditioning waved over them.

“Come on, let’s get you into bed,” Ben said, giving him a little shove to signal he wanted to get him to turn over. “Callum, you’re going to have to help me. As nice a view as this is, I ain’t gonna be able to scrape those jeans off you without undoing them first.”

Callum thought about rolling over, and before he had decided he was suddenly on his back. His stomach swooned slightly with the rocking but seemed more settled than before.

Ben was moving close to him, leaning down and undoing his jeans. “Come here,” Callum said, wanting him closer, needing his body near him after being missing for so long. “Come to bed with me.”

Closing his eyes and stopping for a second to take a breath, Ben kept on taking his clothes off without looking him in the eye. “You need some sleep,” he said quietly. “Your head is going to be banging in the morning, you need to get some rest.”

“I need you in with me,” he replied, pulling at Ben’s arm to get him to come nearer. It made him lose his balance, falling into Callum who gripped him hard against him.

“Woah! Woah! You have to stop, Callum! You have to!” he begged, as he extracted himself and stood back up. “I can’t…please?”

He nodded. He’d do anything that Ben asked him to do. “You’ll stay with me though, yeah?” he asked, wedging his way under the covers and closing his eyes. “You won’t leave me?”

“No,” Ben replied back, as he felt the mattress the other side of him being weighed down. “I won’t leave you.”

“Not never?” Callum asked. He needed to check. He needed to.

There was a pause, and Callum almost opened his eyes to make sure he wasn’t alone already.

“No. Not never.”

**Day Twenty**

As his lashes fluttered open, something started to stab him in the eyes. He closed them again briefly, but the pain was still there shooting through to his head as though he was being attacked with lasers. Callum opened his eyes again, and the light buzzed into his face. Big Brother seemed to have moved the sun into the house while he was asleep; the pure intensity was just frying his brain.

Callum tried to lift his head up, but it felt like it was the weight and density of a bowling ball. He groaned at the pressure of his brain against his skull.

“You’re awake then?” Ben said, and as Callum painfully opened his eyes again, he noticed that he was sitting on the cover next to him, reading the Welcome Pack. “I thought you were going to sleep right through my eviction tomorrow.”

Callum gingerly lifted his body, every drop of liquid inside him swirling around like a whirlpool and he eventually managed to sit up with his back against the headboard. “I feel like shit.”

Ben put down the folder, and reached over to the beside table next to him. “I’m not surprised, the amount you drank. Do you remember waking up in the night? I managed to get a few sips of water down you, but that was it before you passed out again. It weren’t as much as I’d like. How’s your head?”

“It feels like someone’s inside it, banging away with a hammer,” he confessed, rubbing at his forehead. “I must look a right state.”

“I’ve seen worse,” Ben said with a smile, before handing him a can and some tablets. “Get a few sips of that and the pills down you.”

Callum took a swig of the drink, popping the tablets in and swallowing them down, before screwing up his face. “It’s flat and warm.”

“My gran used to swear by it if you were hanging,” Ben said, getting up off the bed. “Full fat, flat coke in sips. Don’t gulp it down or it’ll end up coming back up again.”

“Urrgh,” Callum said, holding his stomach, which seemed to have elves doing a Charleston inside it. “Was I sick last night? I feel like I was.”

Ben nodded in confirmation. “How much do you remember about last night?” he asked.

“I remember chucking up,” he said. He wished that had been the part he had forgotten. “I remember there were cocktails and we were all dancing in a big group to that Tiffany song. I think I was chatting with Habs in the bathroom at some point as well. God, I can’t believe I threw up in here!”

“You were drunk,” Ben explained with a shrug. “It happens to everyone at some point. People will understand you were just drunk.”

“I didn’t say anything weird, did I?” Callum asked, wishing his stupid brain could remember everything properly rather than just snapshots.

Ben seemed to think for a minute, which made him feel a little better. If there wasn’t anything that came straight to mind, then he couldn’t have been that embarrassing. “You told me that you once yacked up on a squirrel,” he admitted.

Callum groaned and closed his eyes. Of all the things he could have said, and he told that story. “God! Knowing my luck, The Sun will track him down and do some exclusive expose about me!” he said with a sigh. “Anything else?”

Ben shook his head. “Nah, I think the image of you pebbledashing vomit on Fluffy Nutkins was plenty for one night,” he said, folding up some of the clothes that were scattered on the floor. “The rest was just usual drunk stuff. Nothing much really.”

“Oh god, I can smell that from here,” Callum said, the rich fumes of the beer slightly wafting over from where Ben was holding it. “Do you have to?”

Ben gave a little huff and took a sip of his drink. Big Brother had given them some more alcohol to commemorate the night before the eviction. Callum has spent most of his day laying on the sofa, trying to get his head to stop spinning, and to restore some of the energy to his body.

“I’m only having one!” he exclaimed. “Don’t blame me because you downed half a brewery last night and paid for it.”

“I literally only had a cocktail or two,” he mumbled back, turning his face away and grimacing.

“That’s even worse! The fact that you were wobbling around here like a bladder on a stick, and only had the equivalent of a couple of shandies!” Kat called over. “That ain’t exactly true though, is it? You were pouring out those pitchers like they were bottomless. Which you were at one point!”

Callum sat up with a start as Kat began to laugh. “What? No I never! Was I?” he said turning wide eyed to Ben. He wished he could remember more. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“Well that was the only thing you didn’t do!” she replied. “Don’t look so worried, darlin’! We’ve all acted like a tit where we’ve had one too many. It don’t usually happen on national telly, I’ll give you that!”

Callum threw his head into a sofa cushion, not even wanting to think about last night. He couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t. His dreams had been so vivid, the only thing he remembered well enough was being sick. His body had a distinct recollection of that.

His mind though, it was like it was screaming at him, trying to make him remember. The worry was building. Something had happened, and the way that Ben wouldn’t quite meet his eye all day gave him a big clue as to who it involved. What had he done?

“Come on Big Bro! Turn on some music!” Isaac called out. His abstention from alcohol hadn’t lasted long, and he had been straight onto the booze when it arrived that night. He had spent the night before sleeping on the sofa, so Habiba could have his bed by herself, and that seemed to have caused him to want to make the most of the evening. Most of the housemates were barely drinking thanks to the excessive consumption the night before, so that meant Isaac had already downed enough to make him a long way from just merry. “Let’s get some excitement back in this house.”

“I had enough excitement last night to last me a lifetime!” Habiba exclaimed, just as Isaac jumped up on the dining room table. “I think we should climb off the furniture, and treat it like the good people of Ikea intended.”

_“This is Big Brother. Would Isaac please dismount from the table.”_

“Why is it only me, Big Brother!” he shouted out back at them, but still leapt down on to the ground. “Everyone else breaks the rules and gets away with it! I can jump on the table if I want to! I can push it over if I want to, and I can hurl a chair around if I want to!”

To make his point, Isaac picked up one of the dining chairs and threw it against the floor. Unfortunately, it landed on one of the rubber covers of the leg and bounced into the shelf on the side, smashing the contents there. Callum jumped up immediately, as if he could get there in time to stop the chair. But it had already happened. There was nothing he could do.

“What have you done?” Callum said quietly, looking at the strewn mullet on the floor that was scattered with bits of plastic, as wires hung out from a metallic casing of Pixar. One of Pebbles eyes was buried in the wig and the other had shot and scattered over the floor. It was just rubble. It had changed into something unrecognisable in seconds. “What the fuck have you done?”

Isaac let out a humourless laugh, as his eyes twisted as he approached Callum. “Oh, I get it!” he replied, squaring up. “You and yours are allowed to break rules left right and centre, but no one else is! We ain’t allowed our little rebellion because it takes away from the Callum and Ben show, right?”

“That ain’t taking a beer or eating a cake!” Callum said, pointing to the wreckage. “You’ve destroyed them! You’ve broken them!”

He could feel a hand gently brush down his arm, but he wriggled away from it. He didn’t want comfort, he didn’t want anything apart from making the man responsible to pay. He had to be punished. He had to face up to what he had done.

“Relax, man, will you?” Isaac said with a snarl as he took a sip of his beer. “It’s a camera and a poxy rock; I ain’t chucked a punch at anyone!”

“You’ve fucking broken them!” he screamed out, feeling like his whole body just wanted to tear the place apart, rip out everything and everyone in it until it fixed the things he wanted fixing. “Just like you ruin everything! Everything you touch goes wrong. You shouldn’t be in here!”

Isaac edged nearer, baring his teeth at him. “We’re getting brave now are we?” he spluttered out, and Callum could almost hear the sentence echo in his head, a different voice for every repetition. “Funny that? Couldn’t say boo to a goose one minute, but now you’re all talk. Which one’s real mate, eh?”

It wasn’t until he saw Habiba’s eyes go wide and she gave a quick step back that he realised what had happened. He didn’t see the shards scoot across the floor, like ants fleeing a fire. He didn’t hear the glass hit the ground with a smash that reverberated off the walls with a grating and almighty crack. And he didn’t remember swiping the bottle out of Isaac’s hand, wishing it was his face that he had knocked harshly instead.

It was Kush in the end that stepped between them, though he could feel a heated hand on the back of his shirt, trying to pull him away. It was Kush who grabbed Isaac by the shoulders just a moment before he was going to take another swing at him, and the other man was ready to launch himself.

_“This is Big Brother. Would Callum come to the Diary Room immediately.”_

Shrugging off the hand at his back, he didn’t look around, even when he heard the arguing start up and the voices raise once more.

He threw open the door, the strain of temper coursing through his body, and he dropped down into the chair.

_“Callum, Big Brother thought you may like this opportunity to calm down a little.”_

He simply nodded. The closeness and calmness of the small room seeming to drag the anger out of him, like a tidal wave that had retreated, just leaving the destruction in its wake.

_“Callum? Are you ok?”_

It was such a simple question, and one he had answered many times in his life. One he was able to easily lie to every day of his existence. He just couldn’t now though. He couldn’t lie about it.

It was the strength and tension in his jaw to try and stop his chin from quivering that bubbled over, and as soon as he felt the first warm tear, one trapped droplet tear it’s way out of his eye and onto his hand, he knew the dam had been broken.

He tried to stop it, attempted to swipe away the now lemming tears that were at his eyes, and sniff back the hiccupping sobs that were banging at his chest, but that just seemed to intensify it. He brought his knees up on the chair, so he was curled up and just buried his head in his arms.

It just wouldn’t stop, this sadness that leaked and weeped out of him, and his sleeve cuffs were soaked through at trying to swipe the excess away from his face.

Finally he lifted his head up, only imagining what his face looked like. “I want to go.”

There was a pause, and Callum almost wondered if Big Brother had gone, left him there to cry. It was another moment before he heard their voice.

_“Why do you want to go home, Callum?”_

Home. He didn’t mention that word, and perhaps it was because he had never experienced it. He just wanted to get out of here, now, while he was away from the house.

“I just want to go back to my life. I want to stand behind the bar and pour pints, and laugh when everyone’s teasing Shrimpy about his new hat. I just want to have diner with Mick and Linda and Whitney, listening to them all talk at me about their days. I want to go for a curry for my brother, and hear about his latest and weirdest plan. I just want to go.”

_“Would going home make you happy, Callum?”_

Happy. He didn’t mention that word either. He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure if he had been happy. It almost felt like the facsimile of happiness, something that tasted and looked so similar to the emotion, but there was something missing. It never felt like it. It was like eating a veggie sausage, but knowing something was a little off, and only realising when you dug your teeth into the real thing.

“I just want to go. Can I go please? I can’t be here anymore!” he said, and the tears started to fall again, limply now as if he couldn’t remember a time when his eyes felt dry. “I shouldn’t be here anymore.”

_“Why don’t you want to be here anymore, Callum?”_

He wiped his cheek with his cool sleeve, just further dampening it. “Because there are only so many little things I can break before I cause damage,” he confessed. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel out of control, and eventually it’s all going to break apart.”

“Callum, it’s been an emotional evening, and Big Brother wants you to sleep on your decision, and see if things seem better in the morning. Is there someone you can talk to in the house about this?”

He closed his eyes. He couldn’t possibly talk to Ben. He knew the moment he saw him, he’d change his mind. He wouldn’t ever want to leave his side. Ben was right the other day though. It just wasn’t real in here. It would all fade away eventually. He had to go back eventually, and the longer he left it, the harder it was going to be.

“I want to go now,” he pleaded. He needed to be away. It would rip and hurt to tear himself away, but it would be over and it wouldn’t be anything as bad as when he was pulled away at a time when he couldn’t prepare himself. “Can’t I just leave now?”

_“Callum, it takes Big Brother a while to prepare for a housemate to leave the house. We suggest you get a good night’s sleep and then let us know how you feel in the morning.”_

All he could do was nod. Unless he scaled the fence in the garden, they weren’t going to let him go tonight. He could go over the fence. Knowing his luck, he’d just get caught in some wire and be stranded there all night.

“Ok,” he conceded, his eyes stinging, sore with the dryness of having nothing left to cry out. He looked down onto the ground, and saw a single black feather laying on the floor. It must have been Missy’s from when she was returned. He picked it up and played with it in his hands for a little bit. “Ok. Goodnight.”

He got up out the chair and gently pushed the door open. He must have been in there for over an hour, and he wasn’t surprised when the main house was empty when he returned.

Setting the feather down on the kitchen counter, he noticed his reflection in the mirror. His face was stained with blotches of red, and his eyes had puffed up, just a crease of blue shining through. Rubbing his face in his hands, he did as Big Brother said, heading towards the bedroom.

It was all dark, and everyone was in their bed. There was no movement, and clearly the party atmosphere had been washed away. Even Kat and Kush looked like there was a clear division between them in the bed. Callum crept towards the end of the room, and the tenson in his chest cleared slightly when he realised it was empty. He didn’t know where Isaac was, but he was glad he didn’t have to sleep in the same bed as him.

He couldn’t be bothered to find something to change into. He just pulled off his tear and snot stained sweater, and kicked off his jeans, letting both fall onto the floor before he climbed into his bed.

There was a hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t look. He just shrugged it off, turning around to face the wall. He couldn’t look.

**Day Twenty One**

Callum’s hand felt warm, that was the first thing he noticed. His hand was never warm when he woke up; it was always empty. He opened his eyes to see Ben there, kneeling on the floor and gripping his hand. His face looked tentative, like he wasn’t sure what Callum’s reaction would be. After last night, it was understandable.

“Hey,” Callum said softly, giving a little smile. Once he’d seen him, he couldn’t turn away.

Ben smiled back, a little of the worry disappearing out of his face and being replaced with excitement. “Hey,” he replied, before chewing at his lip. “I’ve got something to show you.”

Callum let himself be pulled up out of bed, letting go just briefly of Ben’s hand to pull on a t-shirt. They walked out together to the garden and Ben opened the gate to the chicken coop motioning him to go inside.

Missy was scratching around on the ground, looking as healthy as ever. She gave Callum a courtesy nod, one that suggested she was thankful he helped save her life, but that didn’t make them best buds. That wasn’t what Ben wanted to show him though, and he followed Ben’s arm to what it was pointing to in the hen house.

Sitting alone, surrounded by hay was a solitary egg. Callum almost jumped back in shock, and he couldn’t help but match Ben’s grin. “They’ve laid an egg! Finally!”

It had been a running joke amongst the housemates, how the chickens were there to provide them with eggs, and for the past three weeks there had been absolutely none. Kat commented that if she went out there and sat her bum on some hay for an hour, she had more chance of laying something than they did.

“It was Connie!” Ben said, reaching inside and taking out the precious item and passing it to Callum. “I reckon you should have it; I’m sure she only did it to impress you, try and get you to fertilise her up!

Callum rolled the item around in his hand, feeling the smooth warmth of the shell. It was so fragile. So easily broken. So perfect.

There was a warm hand on his cheek. “You look tired,” Ben said, brushing his thumb gently. “Are you going back in to see Big Brother today?”

Callum covered the hand with his own, pressing it in tight to his face. “No. I don’t need to.”

“You should go back to bed then,” Ben whispered, his eyes darting to Callum’s lips. Their faces seemed to be getting closer somehow, though they didn’t look like they were moving.

Shaking his head, Callum shuffled further forward so they were just inches apart. “I wanna spend time with you,” he confessed.

Ben brushed his thumb over Callum’s lips. “The two aren’t mutually exclusive,” he replied, his finger enticing and bobbled onto skin.

“That room still stinks of beer!” Habiba called out from the patio door. “I’ve had to put my jelly shoes back on just in case my heels become a breeding ground for stale ale and bottle fragments! Callum! Come on! We need to make breakfast! I think the kippers may actually fit in the toaster!”

The rest of the day was quiet; Callum didn’t go back to bed, but he did spend most of it lounging on the sofa again.

During the morning, Isaac has come out of the old Green Team bedroom. After Callum had gone to the Diary Room the night before, the arguments had apparently still continued, and Big Brother sent Isaac there to cool off and to sleep off whatever was in his system.

It surprised Callum a bit when Isaac walked straight towards the kitchen counter where he was washing up. He picked up the feather and twirled it around in his fingers, and Callum resisted the urge to rip it out of his hands.

“Did you ever see that cartoon when you was a kid?” he suddenly asked, looking at the feather as if it were the most important item in the world. “You know, the one with the elephant that had the big ears?”

Callum turned off the tap, intrigued by the calm tone and expression the man held as he tapped the feather lightly on the surface. “Yeah, I know the one you mean.”

“He had this feather, right? And he was convinced that he had to have it in order to fly,” Isaac continued. “That without it, he weren’t the best he could be, he was just this lonely failure. It weren’t the feather though. He could fly the whole time, he just had to believe in himself. He just had to be himself.”

Callum nodded. It was a hell of a risk to jump of a cliff and hope you flew.

“I’m sorry about last night, pal,” Isaac continued, contrition clear in his voice. “And about the chicken pen the other day. I become a different person sometimes, think I need a drink to help me be the best I can be. I’m not sure it quite works out that way though.”

“I get it,” he replied. “I do. It’s hard to know if you can fly without the feather until you try.”

That night they all gathered around the sofas, waiting for the announcement over the speaker. Ben was clutching onto Callum’s hand on one side and Kat’s on the other. Callum could feel a slight tremble in his fingers, but it wasn’t sure if it was him or Ben.

In a way, it felt silly to take it so seriously. The person evicted wasn’t going to the chopping block, they were just going home. They would all see each other at the wrap party, and beyond if that’s what they wanted. It felt important to Callum though, that they stay in their little world together, even if it was for just a little while longer.

_“And the third person to leave the Big Brother house is……Isaac!”_

It was a muted goodbye compared the ones that had come before. Everyone knew that he was lucky to stay in the Big Brother house after his actions this past week, so an eviction seemed inevitable. Still, he hugged Ben tightly, as memories started to flash in, and was just grateful they could stay together. Their world.

It cracked a little though, as the doors opened and Isaac was met with the loudest booing and jeering he had ever heard. It shocked them all a little, and everyone just made their way quietly back to the sofas. There was no celebrating, just fear that they could also be met with that response in the coming weeks.

“I’m sure ours won’t be so bad,” Kush said, gulping slightly. “We’ve all been up and stayed, so we can’t be totally hated. We all know a little of what the public thinks of us.”

“Callum doesn’t,” Dotty declared. “He ain’t been up. He might be the most hated person in Britain, and he don’t know it yet.”

It wasn’t the most sympathetic delivery, but she wasn’t wrong. He didn’t know if he could fly without a feather, or if he couldn’t even get off the ground.

Or perhaps he was just more like Icarus; flying a little to close to the sun and end up crashing with burnt wings. Callum had a feeling he wouldn’t have to wait much longer to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
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> Or obviously you can drop a few words down below if you'd like to comment. Thank you so much for reading xx


	12. Week Four (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for Jess! Happy Birthday for Monday! I sneak tweeted you a clue about the task in this chapter the other day! xx

** Day Twenty Two **

Callum twiddled the black feather in his hand, before securing it in the rim on Steve’s Stetson, adjusting the bunny ears that were also adorning the bedside table.

“She dared him, you know,” Habiba said, coming up and perching on the bed next to him. “Dotty. She dared him to go in the chicken coop and get a feather from one of the birds. She has a way of getting what she wants without people even realise she’s doing it.”

There was more than a dram of truth in that statement, and Callum thought back to the eviction last night. It didn’t seem a coincidence that someone who used to be close to Dotty in here ended up going. She didn’t seem to take betrayal well. Isaac had taken a shot and missed. That was unforgivable.

“We gonna do some cooking then or what?” he asked, smiling back at the young woman. “It’s a new week, Habs. I’m allowed back in the kitchen again!”

“Thank God for that!” she replied. “I’d like to still help, but the stress of trying to cook pasta so it has just the right bite is one my life could do without. And I didn’t even know it was possible to burn cucumber!”

Callum laughed. “Yeah, that one had all of us stumped!” he admitted.

The morning drifted on to the afternoon. Big Brother had delivered the cases of the nominated housemates back the evening before, but Ben’s was still laying on the floor next to his bed. He had complained, explaining that all he ever did was pack and unpack, so he may as well leave it there for the week. Eventually, after he had tripped over it three times, Callum relented and started to unpack for him while chatting to Kush.

“You looking forward to the new season, mate?” Kush asked, making his bed “Hammers going to make any steals in the transfer window?”

“We need something to patch up that defence,” Callum replied, folding up a shirt he pulled out the case, folding it up and laying it down on the bed. Ben gave it a little kick with his toe, grinning back up at him. Cullum tutted in his direction, trying not to smirk back as he smoothed the wrinkles out. “Not sure we got the funds to make a huge difference this season.”

“Yeah, you need to get a bit further in the cup rounds as well, mate,” Kush replied, plumping the pillows. “You behind a team, Ben?”

“Behind them, in front of them, I’ll go which ever way it’s blowing!” Ben replied, knocking his foot at another shirt Callum had placed neatly on the bed.

Kush gave a chuckle. “Not a football fan then I take it?” he remarked.

“Put it this way, if you ever get a message from me talking about football then assume that it means I’ve been taken hostage!” Ben replied, before wiggling his foot at shirts. “You need to learn how to fold, Callum. They’re all creased look!”

Callum straightened them out before putting them away in the draw. “You’re an unhelpful distraction, you know that right?” he said smiling.

“Well distractions aren’t meant to be helpful,” Ben replied. “They’re meant to get your attention. I’m bored! There’s nothing happening today!”

Callum dropped down on his bed, putting his back up against the headboard. “Well, why don’t you go annoy Dotty?” he suggested. “That usually helps you fill up ten minutes, don’t it?”

“She’s already moping about because one of her crew have gone, even if she had exiled him already,” Ben complained. “No fun if she’s already got a face like a lobster’s dick.”

“I wouldn’t count her out just yet,” Kush replied. “She’s a smart cookie that one.”

“Speaking of which, I’m going in search of a biscuit,” Ben said, heaving himself up off the bed. “If Habiba’s thrown out the Hob Nobs again, just because she thinks they’re made up of crushed up hobbit dicks, then I’m gonna kill her!”

Ben headed towards the bedroom door, just as Vinney came in, giving him a customary nod. He held tightly onto his headphones before dropping down onto his bed with a sigh. “You bored too?” Callum asked. Everyone seemed to have the same look on their faces today. It was always the same the day after an eviction. There had been so much hype and anticipation, then after it was done everything came crashing down to earth.

“Amongst other things,” he said with a huff, before sitting up and glancing carefully at the door. “Can I ask you guys a question?”

Kush just shrugged his confirmation, while Callum nodded. If it was something he didn’t want to reply to, he’d just let Kush take the reins.

“How you handling the…” he started before shuffling a little closer, trying to find the right words. “The lack of attention.”

“Well, we’re always going to miss our friends and family, aren’t we?” Callum responded, moving to the end of the bed and resting on his front. He leaned his head down on his arms. “That’s part of the hard part of being in here.”

Kush cleared his throat. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s the hard part that Vin was talking about,” he explained. “I think he’s asking how we’re managing to get by without releasing our frustration whenever we like.”

“Oh,” Callum replied, feeling his cheeks bleed a little. “I see.”

This was definitely a conversation he didn’t want to have, and here he was laying down exposed with no quick way to leave the room. If he were to try and shuffle out on his belly like a worm, it may be more conspicuous than just laying here. It wasn’t as though he didn’t empathise, he just tried to keep it at the back of his mind, taking care of what he needed to, and ignoring the thoughts that came with it.

“It’s starting to be all I can think about,” Vinney replied. “Especially sharing the bed with a fit bird, it’s like torture!”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Kush replied.

Vinney looked back at him with his mouth open, aghast at the statement. “No you don’t!” he almost squealed back. “I’m in the bed right next door as you’re banging you balls out into one of your housemates.”

“We’ve only done that once or twice though!” he said, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead at the embarrassment of the act being said out loud. “I was having to, you know, restrain myself when sleeping next to her for a whole week. And there weren’t exactly many places I could go for some alone time when I was over that side of the divide. The shower’s outside; I didn’t want everyone to see me in 4K HD jacking myself off! Trust me, I would have killed to have that frosted pane of glass, even if it is only for two thirds of the door!”

Vinney shrugged, not quite feeling any sympathy, and Callum didn’t blame him. It was hard to sympathise with someone’s sexual frustration when they’d been shagging most the week. “Suppose. That’s why Ben gets up so early, ain’t it? It gives him a bit of alone time in the shower, he says,” Vinney continued as Callum’s ears pricked up. “Can’t blame him really, it ain’t like he’s got any options in here anyway, what with us all being straight.”

Callum continued to bury his face in his arm, but he could see Kush nod his head dramatically towards him, and then clear his throat. “Let’s talk about something else, shall we?” he suggested in a low voice.

“What?” Vinney replied, looking curiously at Kush’s head jerking. “Oh! I get it! Cause Callum’s got a lady, so he’s probably suffering in here as well. Sorry mate, didn’t mean to complain when you ain’t got access to your bird.”

Kush sighed. “You might as well wear those headphones over your eyes,” he muttered. “Even Habiba’s more aware than you, and she spent half an hour yesterday trying to peel the orange from the fake fruit bowl on the side.”

“How’s things going with you and Dotty then?” Callum asked from the bed, changing the conversation. “No joy?”

“I don’t get why she was so insistent to share a bed with me!” he exclaimed. “I went to hold her hand under the covers the other night and she said she’d knee me in the balls if I even so much as swiped a fingernail next to her. I mean, that’s what you’re meant to do if you like someone, ain’t it? Hold hands and shit.”

“Do you like her?” Callum asked curiously.

Vinney just shrugged in return. “I dunno really,” he confessed. “She’s fit and that, but I never feel like she ever really looks at me. Now, with me just standing to attention at any point, I’m worried I’m gonna slide near her during the night and end up with my dick being scratched off.”

“You’ll just have to wait until someone goes, mate,” Kush said. “Then you can move beds.”

There was a clear lightbulb moment shining above Vinney’s head when he had the realisation. “Isaac’s gone!” he said, scrambling up and starting to open his drawers. “I can sleep in his place now!”

“Really, mate. I think those headphones are distorting your view!” Kush replied with a shake of his head, before slowly annunciating every word. “Don’t you need to think about it first?”

Vinney stopped and looked over. “Right, yeah course, I get you,” Vinney said. “Callum, you don’t mind if I go next to you, do you mate?

There had to be a reason. There must be one that would make him reject the request. Somewhere rattling around in his head, there had to be a good enough reason. “Yeah, course mate,” he found himself saying, as Vinney started to bring his things over. “I don’t see why not.”

There was a bang as the door flew open. “If you start singing that song one more time!” Dotty shouted out, throwing herself down on the bed. “Then I’ll pull your lungs out through your nostrils and smother you with them!”

“What?” Ben replied. “All by Myself is a classic! Just merely coincidental that your little group is dwindling. They’re chucking themselves out that door like lemmings.”

There was no reply though, as Dotty stopped dead in the middle of the doorway, mouth agape as she watched Vinney move his possessions from their bed over to Callum’s.

“What the fuck?” both Ben and Dotty blurted out simultaneously, giving each other a short snarl when they noticed the synchronicity.

“What are you doing?” Dotty demanded, stamping over to her bed. “Where do you think you’re going?”

Vinney clawed at the pair of jeans he was holding for comfort, as if they could save him if two fangs suddenly ripped out of Dotty’s gums and punctured his neck. The glare in her eyes certainly suggested that could be about to happen.

“I just thought I’d give you a bit of space,” he almost stammered out. “Now that Isaac’s gone and that, we’ve got a spare sleeping space and Callum offered to let me use it so you could get the bed to yourself.”

“Did he?” Ben asked, his voice firm. Callum didn’t look but he could feel eyes lingering over to him from where he was becoming surrounded by Vinney’s clothes.

“I’m being a chiver, and all that,” Vinney continued, his voice rolling into a stammering mess. “Letting you have your own space.”

Callum continued to just fiddle with the duvet cover, though try as he might he couldn’t help but sense the glaring stares that were being belted around the room. This would have never happened if Ben hadn’t gone to get a biscuit. They were the root of all of society’s problems. Actually, he didn’t mean that. They were glorious and he knew it.

“Oh!” said Kush suddenly jumping up with excitement. “I’ve got it! How about Habs goes in with Dotty? Eh? That’s a plan, right? That would solve everything!”

He was looking around the room happily at everyone, like he’d just translated the Rosetta stone. Callum dared to lift his head to look at Ben, whose eyes had softened. Dotty’s gaze darted between them. “Well what’s the point of that?” she scowled out. “If Vinney moved so I could have the space, I don’t want Habiba’s hair spread out on my pillow, do I?”

“Well, I just thought it would be nicer for Habs, you know?” Kush said, his straws being well and truly clutched. “Sharing with another girl rather than a fella.”

“Oh I think there’s more chance of me giving her a cheeky flick than when she’s in with Ben,” Dotty remarked, smirking towards the man. “God, there’s more chance of one of the chickens wandering in and giving her a fumble than Ben going anywhere near her. Must be much nicer to share with someone you’ve got absolutely no chance with and you’ve no interest in, rather than with someone who’s giving you downstairs feels, but ain’t giving you so much as an accidental cock bump. Ain’t that right, Ben?”

He simply shook his head, before storming back out the door, almost running into Habiba on the way. Callum pushed down the thoughts about why he was annoyed; if he didn’t think about it then it could just be a mystery. Things that were unspoken could be ignored. And in this case probably should be.

“Did you know that sell squirrels in a shade of red now,” Habiba said, strolling into the bedroom, fiddling with the wrapper of her biscuit. “I just saw one in the garden; angry little thing just scurrying through. Do they just bleach the grey ones? That’s animal cruelty. Dotty, you need to get on to the RAC about that. What’s going on in here?”

Kush just waved his hand at her, letting her know that it was all done with. For now it was all over. “Don’t worry about it, Habs,” he replied gently. “Just eat your biscuit.”

Callum felt a bump next to him on the mattress, and three of Vinney’s socks fell from the bed to the floor. “You look sad, Callum,” Habiba said quietly. “What’s wrong? Do you want some of my Penguin?”

He shook his head, looking up and giving her a soft smile. “I’m alright, Habs,” he replied, and it wasn’t a lie. There was just this impending sinking feeling in his stomach, that just lurked there sometimes. It’s where hope lived, and when everything seemed hopeless, the emptiness bubbled up louder. He tried not to listen to it.

Habiba gave him a little pat on the shoulder before tearing into her biscuit, gnawing off a corner. She stopped suddenly, looking suspiciously at the chocolate. “Penguin is just the name, not the ingredient right?”

** Day Twenty Three **

_“IT’S CHRIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAS!”_

Callum sat up with a start as the lights blinked on. It was still barely dawn, it had to be. They all went to bed early the night before, through boredom mainly, and it certainly didn’t feel like he had a full night’s sleep.

“What the fuck is that?” Vinney snarled out next to him, the socks he hadn’t put away the night before hitting the floor when he tried to pull the cover over his head.

“That’s Noddy Holder,” Kat replied, sitting up in bed, flattening her hair down and rubbing her eyes as the song continued to play.

“Is he here?” Habiba said with a yawn. “I haven’t seen him since Cliff Richard’s New Years Eve party four years ago. He brought a home made potato salad.”

“What the hell does ‘Look to the future now, it’s only just begun’ even mean?” Ben asked in a low husky voice, sitting up and rubbing his hands around his face before looking around the room. “Fuck me! It’s the ghost of Christmas future! Oh no wait, Dotty’s just slept in her eyeliner again.”

“Oh piss off Ben!” she replied, leaning up and jutting her chin at the bed across the room. “And before you start on any Scrooge quips, I happen to like Christmas. I do have a warm heart, you know.”

“Yeah, well I’m sure you’d have a warm everything after stealing Tiny Tim’s crutch and hurling it in the fire,” he replied, swinging his legs round and getting out of bed. He gave Callum a soft smile, almost pausing for a second, before his face turned towards the rest of the room. “Are we going to find out why they’re playing dodgy Christmas songs in August, or what?”

The all clambered out of bed and headed towards the door. As soon as it opened, it was clear how early it was, just the faint dim of sunlight starting to gleam through the windows. That wasn’t quite what caught their attention though.

Everywhere seemed to sparkle, with long strands of glittery tinsel hanging from the walls; the golden strings tinkling in the light that was glowing from the thousands of fairy lights that curtained the room. Even with that though, the item that dominated the space was the gigantic Christmas tree.

It was almost up to the ceiling, the golden star on top just brushing the tiled surface up there, shimmering over the housemates like a knowing guide. The scent of earthy fresh pine was unmistakable, hitting Callum’s nostrils with a nostalgic tingle and fluttering to every corner of the room. There were no decorations on the tree, no ornaments or little figures hanging from the spiky outstretched arms of the wooden branches. Just more glowing fairy lights, a warm but dazzling light bursting from every bulb.

Above them, the ordinarily plain ceiling had decorations hanging down. They almost looked like they had been left over from eighties week, made from thin, shiny foil that beamed down with ruby and emerald colours in a plethora of shapes and sizes. There was one other obvious addition to the ceiling as well, as bunches of mistletoe hung noticeably from every doorway, corner and crevice, their green bud leaves hovering suggestively.

“Don’t even think about it!” Habiba said, as Vinney started to shuffle along next to her when he realised what she was standing under. “I said it to Chico, and I’ll say it to you. Habiba doesn’t do mistletoe! I’m against any of the dark arts!”

“I don’t think you have to kiss someone if you’re under it together, Habs,” Callum said, wandering across the room so he wasn’t staying still. “I think it’s just a custom, ain’t it?”

“Yeah, you ain’t gonna be voodooed to tickle the tonsils of just anyone,” Ben added, going to sit at the dining room table. It was adorned with a bright red tablecloth, with a golden candle centre piece. “Unless you’re with Dotty of course, but then she usually just stings her venom in to paralyse her victims before sucking their soul out through their mouths.”

Habiba still looked sceptically above her. “But why is there so much of the stuff?” she enquired, as they all made their way to the sofas. “It’s literally everywhere. It’s going to kick off my hayfever! I’m sure my eyes are watering just looking at those little, crusty white balls hanging down!”

“Sound like a few nights out I’ve had!” Kat chuckled, sitting down on the couch. There wasn’t much that had changed, just the cushions and blankets were all now replaced with fluffy red ones. Callum pulled on of the throws over his legs, gently tossing the other end so it covered Ben’s toes where he was laying down on the other end. “I like the decorations though. Makes it feel like a proper home!”

“I’m not sure the colour scheme is quite my style,” Habiba replied. “I’d much prefer a simple silver and pastel palette.”

“Nah, you’ve got to have green, red and gold!” Callum commented. “Those are the colours of Christmas!”

_“Ho Ho Ho, Housemates! This is Big Santa! For your shopping task this week, you’ve been brought to the North Pole.”_

Habiba and Vinney peered out the window, as though they expected to see blankets of snow miles ahead of them, and huddles of penguins waddling across the lawn.

_“You will have a number of festive tasks to complete as a group in order to pass the task and win the luxury shopping budget. So mull that wine, bake that gingerbread and wrap those presents for the most wonderful time of the year. Big Santa will get back to you with more details in due course.”_

Callum heard Ben groan next to him, and turned around to see him squinting out the window. “They’ve turned the chicken coop into a fucking grotto!” he remarked, straining his neck to see further. There were lights, decorations and fake snow all over it. “If they’ve put little elf hats on the hens, I won’t be happy! Penny don’t like anything around her head of she’ll throw a right wobbler!”

Looking out in the garden, with the air conditioning on him, Callum could almost imagine it was winter. He could almost imagine being four months in the future, all bundled up as the weather turned colder and the festivities were starting to bleed in all around him. In another way though, he couldn’t picture it. Callum couldn’t see himself then, though he knew what his life was supposed to look like at that point. He couldn’t imagine being anywhere but here, and as Ben snuggled his toes into his thigh under the blanket, he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to be.

“I saw that!” Kat called out from the other side of the table. “You two are definitely eating more than you’re licking! Do you want to fail us this task?”

After Big Brother’s announcement earlier, they had sent through their outfits for the challenge. Thankfully, it wasn’t as all-encompassing as last week’s eighties outfits, but there were still a few groans when they pulled the jumpers out of the box.

“At least we won’t be cold inside,” Callum told them all, trying to raise the mood. “I really like mine.”

The green snowman jumper he had been given was probably something he would wear on Christmas Day on the outside, but he didn’t mention that. He lifted his hand up to gently fluff at the coal buttons.

“You may be happy to sit there and finger your lumps, but you definitely came out on top with the outfit choices again!” Ben said, wincing and scratching at his neck where the knitwear was clinging. “I’m sure they made this thing from some flea ridden sheep!”

Callum looked over to Ben in his bright red jumper adorned with the large face of Rudolph. He couldn’t help himself, he leaned over and squeezed the red nose in the middle of the sweater. It immediately started to glow and play a tune.

“Oi! If you want a squeeze, you just have to ask!” Ben said, glaring down at the flashing nose. “Don’t expect that reaction for everything you get a handful of though. This looks awful!”

Callum reached over and waved the item, that Ben had hurled onto the bed with annoyance, in his face. “That’s because you ain’t got the complete outfit on!” he said, trying to put the antlers on Ben’s head, but sitting back with a laugh when they were knocked from his hand onto the floor. “You’ve got to wear them! It’s part of the task!”

Ben kicked them underneath the bed. “No! Don’t give me that! They said the accessories were optional!” he replied, wagging his finger at Callum. “Just because you get your chubbs from me in animal ears, it don’t mean it’s gonna happen!”

“Mate, I don’t know what you’re complaining about,” Kush said, fiddling with the wires that were wrapped around his whole jumper, twinkling out with multicolour lights. “If I’m outside when it starts to rain, you’re just gonna find my frazzled skeleton with smoke remnants coming off it.”

“I wish mine was more wintery,” Habiba replied. “I’m not Christian, but I don’t think there were wolves at Jesus’ death.”

Callum squinted at her jumper. “That’s a polar bear, Habs,” he said, causing her to look down curiously. “And it’s Jesus’ birth, ain’t it?”

“Were there polar bears at his birth then?” she asked, and he really didn’t have an answer for that. She actually made a relevant point for once.

“I’ve got a dog on mine!” Vinney proclaimed, though there wasn’t much annoyance in his voice. He was allowed to wear his headphones, so didn’t seem to care what else he had on. “They’ve just put a few snowflakes around it.”

“No, you’re right, Kush,” Ben commented, as Callum dropped to the floor to try and reach under the bed for the antlers. “They could have put me in some dark, depressing ‘Baah Humbug’ jumper because they thought I was such a mood sucker.”

“Fuck off, Ben!” Dotty remarked sulkily on her bed, folding her arms over the words of her black sweater.

Around an hour after that, Kush had been called to the Diary Room to receive the instructions for the first challenge, and orders to collect some items from the storeroom. First, he came back with large labelled bowls set on scales that were placed on the dinning room table. Then, he hurried back and brought out a huge contain full of loose crisps.

They had been licking Pringles and sorting them into the correct flavour container for around half an hour now. Callum’s mouth was dry, and his stomach had been rumbling from the promise of undelivered food.

“It don’t say anywhere in the rules that we can’t snack on them!” Ben said, throwing a moist Sour Cream and Onion crisp into the pot with a huff in Kat’s direction at her accusation. “It just said we had to lick every crisp we put in the pots. It don’t say nothing about eating a few!”

“Yeah, but the more you two stuff into your faces, the less end up in the pots and we don’t win the challenge!” Dotty remarked, just as Callum was crunching down on a Smoky BBQ.

Ben threw an Original in her direction. “There’s no ‘we’ in all of this!” he complained. “They’ve let you sack off the task in case there’s the hoof of a cow stuck to one of them! I know it may be tricky with the forked tongue, but it wouldn’t kill you to lick a few! All the dolphins in the sea aren’t gonna drop dead just because you’ve gone down on a crisp!”

“I’m thirsty,” Callum said, wrinkling up his nose at the Hot and Spicy he had just tried. “Anyone else thirsty?”

“My tongue feels like it’s licked the inside of a mole’s arsehole!” Kat remarked, smacking her chops together. “I can’t believe we ain’t allowed to drink until this is over. I ain’t gonna be able to use my tongue for a week after this!”

“Straight to sleep tonight then, Kush,” Ben smirked to the man next to him. Kat had sat herself at the other end of the table, and the distance was noticeable. Callum realised that he hadn’t seen them this far apart for weeks, and Kush didn’t even blink with Ben’s comment. “Your tongue getting a bit of an unnecessary warm up right now?”

“Just ignore him, Kush,” Dotty said, and most people at the table looked a little stunned at her sudden sympathetic tone. “He’s just got to take his frustration out somewhere cause other people are getting some action.”

Ben threw another crisp at her. “Well, I’m sure you’d know all about that. It must be difficult to get your knickers off with all the cobwebs blowing around down there!”

“Oh so you did hear me then?” Dotty said, leaning back with a smirk. The whole table seemed to freeze, including Vinney who was mid lick with a Cheese and Onion. This wasn’t the first time it had happened, one of Dotty’s comments, snide and subtle but clear enough to know what she was inferring.

They were getting more frequent though, and less convert as well. They all knew about Ben’s hearing aid, but it was an unspoken rule that they didn’t reference it, whether Ben was around or not. He had never said anything, and they all respected that. Well, almost all of them.

There was a deadly silence, and Callum knew that any second crisps could go flying off the table. Instead there was a crunching sound, and they all turned around to see Habiba looking curiously at her crisp. “There’s no cock in Prawn cocktail, is there? Because this taste is giving me flashbacks to the afterparties when I sang back up for S Club 7.”

They sat at the table, licking the crisps for another half an hour until Big Brother announced they had the required weight in each bowl. The rest of the time had passed quietly. The Saturday tension seemed to have lingered over to Sunday this week, like a storm ready to explode in the sky and hail down on them with the force of thunder. For now it was just a few dark clouds, but it was there hovering in the air.

When the task had finished, Ben went out into the garden, heading towards the chicken coop. Callum followed, keeping a few steps behind, not bringing up the moment at the table. He was good at keeping things inside.

“There’s poxy glitter everywhere!” Ben said wiping his finger on the fence and glaring at it. “What with the dangling tassles and all, the whole thing looks like a hen night’s exploded!”

“Quite apt considering,” Callum said with a smile, as he leaned on the outside of the coop. “Missy alright today?”

Ben nodded as Connie started charging out of the hen house and heading towards the voice she heard. “Yeah, she’s back to normal mainly. I think it rocked her though, having something like that happen. She keeps her guard up a little more now; she knows what a shitty place this world can be.”

“Oh, give off, Con!” Callum called out, trying to wave her away. “Ben, will you stop her? One of those baubles has dropped off the outside and she’s trying to get it down her beak in one go.”

“You can step foot in here, Callum,” Ben replied with a tut, as he approached the little hen and removed the item from her clutches. “You can’t stay on the outside forever. I think she was just trying to impress you and show you her skills! She’s waiting for you to make a move and getting a bit desperate now!”

“She ain’t trying to come on to me, Ben!” he replied, as Connie looked up to him with sceptical eyes. “It ain’t anything intentional, I’m just the only thing about that’s different in her day.”

Closing up the coop, Ben leaned back. “Well she ain’t laid you an egg today, so maybe she’s starting to think you don’t fancy her!” he replied. “Besides, I don’t think chickens get bored.”

Callum mused over the comment, not quite believing it. “Don’t you think they just want to get out sometimes? I mean, I guess they don’t notice most of the time. They’re probably used to just being trapped in the same set of walls and fences, but they must look up the birds flying in the sky and wonder why that ain’t them.”

“You think I open that gate and ten minutes later they’re gonna be sprinting down the M25?” Ben asked. “They’ve already had that opportunity when Isaac left the gate open. They all stayed in here apart from Connie who came to get you to save the day. She was probably hoping to sneak into your bed for a cheeky bit of wing tickle!”

“Penny left as well,” he reminded him. “She was halfway to the pool.”

“Yeah, well she’s the exception that proves the rule, ain’t she?” Ben said, coming to lean on the fence, the other side of Callum. “Dopey little mare, got more guts than brains! They could all get out if they really wanted, but they stay where they think it’s safe. They stay with what they know because they think it’s easier.”

Callum looked down at Connie, pecking at some stray seed on the ground. Everything she needed was on the inside, just not perhaps everything she wanted. There was a soft brush at his hand, and Callum didn’t even need to look to know that Ben was just gently running his finger along the back of it. “We can get out if we want to, Callum,” he said quietly, as the lulling touch made his eyes shut for just a second. It was warm outside, and the humidity in the air teamed with a large jumper was making Calum’s skin burn. “It’s got to be our choice though.”

_“This is Big Brother, would all the housemates gather on the sofa.”_

“Right, let’s go see what loose and tenuous link to Christmas this next task has!”

“I’ve found another one!” Habiba said squealing. “It was hidden behind Callum’s stock of hair gel, so I couldn’t even see it at first!”

She came into the main section of the house waving the green cracker happily. The housemates had been locked in the bedroom for half an hour as Big Brother hid the Christmas crackers around the house. They were tasked with finding them all before the time displayed on the big LCD screen in the living room ran out. At the moment, Vinney had found a green cracker in the oven, Callum had found a red cracker under the sofa and now Habiba had located her one in the bathroom.

There was now only five minutes to go until the timer ran out, and Ben wandered out into the garden to search, going into the chicken coop.

“If there’s anything in there then Ann and Connie have probably eaten it by now,” Callum said, as Ben started rummaging through the hen house. Either that or they would have all heard a little bang as a puff of feathers and the smell of Nandos hit the air.

There was a little inhale of success and Ben appeared holding a gold cracker aloft as if it were the Holy Grail. “Ye of little faith!” he said, as he heard screams of delight from inside the house.

Kat came running out wielding a red cracker. “You got yours?” she said smiling when Ben waved it at her. “We all found ours too. Come on, let’s go see what they want us to do with them.”

To very little surprise, Big Brother asked them to pull the crackers. Callum held his out to Kush, and there was a little tap to the ground when an item fell out. As he put on his hat, he squinted down to see what it was, picking up a little metal thimble. That was typical; he never got any of the good prizes, always that little metal puzzle or the giant paperclip. He looked longingly at the miniature playing cards that fell out as Vinney’s prize.

He felt a little tap against his bum. “Want to pull my cracker?” Ben said bringing the item back up and smiling at Callum. “I’ll let you keep the prize.”

Taking hold of the other end, Callum gave a quick tug, a small snap following. Nothing had fallen out, so Ben peered inside, pulling out a gold hat.

“Hey!” Vinney called out, seeing the headwear. “Why’s he got a gold one and we’ve only got red or green?”

There was no response though, as Ben clawed out another piece of paper from the cardboard. As he read it, his expression changed. Callum couldn’t quite make it out, but there was definitely some shock there.

“What is it?” Kat asked. “What does it say? It ain’t a filthy joke, is it? Cause I doubt there’s many of those you ain’t heard!”

Ben shook his head. “Nah, it says I’ve got immunity from eviction this week,” he replied calmly, before looking up at the other housemates surprised faces. “It says _‘Aren’t Christmas Cracker prizes always a let down? Well here’s the joke; you have won immunity and wont be eligible to be up for eviction this week. Merry Christmas, Housemate!’_. Well, I suppose it was probably the only way I wasn’t going to be up.”

Callum burst into a smile and rubbed his hand down Ben’s arm. “That’s amazing!” he said. “You’re gonna be here for another ten days at least! Aren’t you happy?”

Looking up into Callum’s eyes, Ben seemed to come out of his daze. “Yeah. I mean, yeah I think so,” he said, the fact seemingly sinking in. “Are you happy? Not disappointed that you ain’t gonna be shot of me for a while?”

Callum shook his head. “I’m happy.”

** Day Twenty Four **

“You got all these little party tricks, ain’t you?” Ben said, stopping his task to watch Callum’s hands. “A right little box of surprises, you are. Got any other talents I ain’t experienced yet? You’re a little chameleon, aren’t you?”

It was fair to say that the tasks this week weren’t the most exhilarating considering it was based on the most exciting time of the year. Big Brother had given them a little time to sleep in this morning, for once, but as soon as they got up they were given the task of peeling vegetables you would have at a Christmas dinner. Buckets of them. Kush was podding peas and Kat was putting crosses in the bottom of Brussel sprouts. Dotty was shredding red cabbage while Vinney was separating cauliflower florets.

The most noise came from Habiba sitting next to the who had been given the job of peeling and cutting up a swede. She was hacking at it with a knife, struggling to get through the stiff flesh, and just ended up repeatedly stabbing at it to make it come apart. There was a strong possibility that at any moment the knife would swing away from her hand and land square in someone’s forehead. He wasn’t quite sure how Big Brother worded the risk assessment, but he was certain it wouldn’t have had ‘major cranial injury’ in there.

Ben was sitting next to him, peeling away at carrots, but kept getting distracted at Callum peeling potatoes with a knife, managing to get the peel away in one long thin strip.

“I’m not sure you’re supposed to call someone that!” Habiba called over, battling with her knife. “Sexually transmitted diseases are no laughing matter. I was once on a poster for genital warts.”

“No, I said chameleon, Habs,” Ben clarified, giving a shake of his head. “Those little lizards that try to fit in with their surroundings.”

“Just an old army trick,” Callum said with a shrug. “I’ve peeled more spuds in my life than I could count. Especially when you’re out there on Christmas Day. Everyone wants roast potatoes with their dinner, don’t they?”

“You not miss being at home at Christmas when you was in the army?” Ben asked.

Callum shrugged a little. “Not really, as good a place to be as anywhere,” he admitted. “It weren’t much of a Christmas once my Grandad died anyway. He was the one who made it feel special.”

“My Gran could talk the hind leg off a donkey, and never shut up about the big day once December hit,” Ben said with a smile. “She always talked up a big family Christmas, arranging everything; presents, the tree and all the trimmings. Then the day would always end in shouting and tears. Still wouldn’t put her off giving the same enthusiasm the year after though! I miss her, especially at that time of year. Well, the real version of it anyway.”

“Do you ever feel like they’re slipping away? Your memories of them, I mean?” Callum asked. “Sometimes it feels like just yesterday I was sitting with my Grandad watching the football. I can remember every moment about it, and it seems so close. But other bits, it’s just like they’re a balloon that’s disappearing into the sky. There ain’t nothing you can do about it, you just have to watch them getting further and further away with no hope of returning.”

“I get that,” Ben said nodding, scratching his finger on a carrot. “You can still see them in your world. They’re still there, but you just can’t reach out and touch them. It’s frustrating and sad all at the same time.”

Callum felt a little more warmth back in his heart, and a little more whole, when Ben rubbed his hand consoling on his thigh. He reached his own hand out to cover it, before a scream sent them both slightly reeling back.

“Oh my god, Vinney! I’m so sorry!” Habiba cried, scurrying up to get some kitchen roll. “It’ll be fine! It’s only slightly bleeding!”

“It’s a paper jam!” Kat shouted, trying to elbow Dotty out of the way. “The little red symbol is blinking, so obviously you need to open up the side and get it out!”

Dotty just shoved her back. “I am at university!” she replied haughtily. “I think I know better than anyone else here how to fix it!”

Their second task of the day didn’t seem to being going much better than the first. Although, they seemed to have completed peeling and chopping a lot of veg, even if some of it was covered in a little bit of blood.

Just when they thought they weren’t getting any more tasks for the day, Big Brother called them all to the sofas again that evening. They announced that they were throwing the housemates an office Christmas Party. They all sat up excitedly before they realised there was a task to complete as well. Throughout the evening, Big Brother would call out a list, and the housemates had to find the item, photocopy it and stick the print out up on the noticeboard provided.

It had to be said, this was one of the more enjoyable tasks that Big Brother had set. They were playing music into the house, had a table of snacks and they’d been provided with alcohol. After last week, Callum was holding back on the drink though. He had been sipping at the same beer for the past hour and hadn’t even got two thirds down the bottle.

The first few items Big Brother had read out had been straightforward finds, and they managed to operate the photocopier with ease. Now though, in their attempt to colour copy a green shirt, there were technical issues that were causing arguments.

“Oh yeah, cause you need a poxy degree to push a button, don’t you?” Kat argued back. “Fine, fuck up the task if you like! Shove that and your diploma up your arse, why don’t you!”

With that, she stormed off, leaving Dotty and Vinney to fix the copier. Kat went to sit on the sofa, turning away from the party and leaning her head on her hand. Callum couldn’t help but go over. She could always be bolshy, but there was something not quite right.

“I’m no good with things like that,” he said, tentatively taking a seat next to her. “Mick asked me to print out the accounts at the pub once and I ended up printing three hundred sheets of the romance novel Linda was writing.”

“Don’t pay attention to me, darlin’” she said, looking over and giving him a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m just in a bit of a mood. It’ll pass.”

Callum leaned back, shuffling in closer when he thought he saw the slight tremble of a lip and a watery eye. “Is it cause you’re missing your kids?” he asked.

“I’m always missing them. Always. I never stop missing them. They’re my world and I don’t know if I like living in one that they ain’t a part of,” she confessed. “But it ain’t particularly that, not more than usual.”

Callum swallowed slightly, knowing he had to approach the next sentence carefully. “Is it Kush?” he asked quietly. “I know it ain’t my place, but things don’t seem the same between you two.”

Kat gave a small, wry laugh. “They’re exactly the same,” she replied with a sigh. “That’s the problem. On his part anyway. I didn’t come in here to be part of some romantic drama, Callum. That ain’t me.”

“You don’t like him then?” Callum clarified. The bedroom had been quiet last night, and when he woke up halfway through the night he noticed that Kat and Kush were on completely opposite sides of the bed, with what looked like acres in between them. “Not the way he likes you.”

“I do like him a lot, and I want to be mates with him,” she said. “And you can’t blame me for getting a good seeing to when he was up for it. He’s got a body to die for! Ain’t no way I’m not shimmying up him when that’s placed on the table.”

“So it was just sex?” he asked, shuffling in further.

She nodded her confirmation. “Yeah, it was,” she said firmly. “And why shouldn’t it be? Everyone’s looking at me like I’m trying to drag him down the aisle, because that’s all a woman can want sex for, right? To help hook a man. No one would think anything if it was him, cause it’s alright for a fella to just want a good fuck and have nothing else attached to it.”

“So you’d keep sleeping with him if he weren’t trying to take things further?” he asked, twirling his jumper in his hands.

“I don’t see why not?” she admitted. “He’s got a bit of game, that’s better than a lot. Sex is a bit like a chocolate brownie, right? You know how if someone offers you one, you say yes in the hopes its gonna meet your expectations. And it does sometimes! Every now and then you get a really satisfying one, all gooey and rich with sugar that just rushes and buzzes to your every pore. The rest of the time though, it’s a bit pot luck. Sometimes you bite in and it’s absolute shit! It’s all dry and claggy like bad chocolate cake, with too many nuts. And you regret it, because it really weren’t worth the calories.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a bakery like that!” Callum said with a chuckle.

“Oh, you wait till Ben takes you out and about, darlin’! There won’t be a sweet treat that you won’t try,” she laughed, before stopping when she noticed Callum pick harshly at his jumper. “Anyway, let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger! My boobs sag like socks on a washing line, the only tone on my belly and bum is the glow of my fake tan, I’ve got wrinkles that are deeper than the Pacific and I’ve got more bags under my eyes than a Tesco delivery. When you get to this point, the best you usually get is some middle aged fuck boy who’s gazing at you all impressed with himself, as he’s holding his wrinkly, little, baby gerbil dick in his hand like you’re supposed to jizz your knickers just by looking at it.”

Kat shuffled closer to Callum, linking her arm through his and resting her head on his shoulder. She nodded towards the snack table where Kush was standing downing a drink. It seemed that it was only him and Ben really drinking that night, as Dotty and Vinney were too focused on the task.

“I mean, can you blame me, really?” Kat continued. “When you suddenly get that offered to you? I ain’t looking for anyone permanent, Callum. Been there, done that and got the souvenir stick of rock. But people ain’t gonna understand that are they? They’re gonna think I’m just some slapper who couldn’t keep her knickers on.”

“You’re not anything near that,” he said gently. “You’re lovely.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” she said with a sigh. “What I do know is that someone’s certainly trying to impress you. Either than or those cans he’s been knocking back have kicked in.”

Callum turned to look around when Kat gave him a nudge, and saw Ben walking towards them, antlers firmly on his head. He couldn’t help but break out into a grin.

“What you come as?” Kat cackled out. “I wouldn’t frolic about too much or you’ll find your head plastered on some bastard hunter’s wall!”

“Excuse me, I look cute!” he called back, his voice with just the slightest slur. Only a little to suggest he’d had a substantial amount to drink. Callum was a little jealous of the fact he could drink and still function as a human. “Reindeer antlers make everyone look cute, don’t they?”

“Well there’s always one that exception, ain’t there?” Kat replied, standing up and giving his antlers a tap. “I’m off to see if I can’t shove Dotty’s face in a vat of toner.”

Callum watched her walk over to the copier for a moment, before he noticed that Ben had his hand outstretched and was waggling his fingers towards him. “Come on!” he said, motioning for Callum to get up. “I’ve got something to show you.”

Reaching up, he loosely linked their fingers, pulling himself up off the sofa. Ben started to lead them to the patio doors. “Shouldn’t we stay and help with the task?” Callum asked, looking back at the bickering going on.

“Are you joking me?” Ben replied. “Dotty’s in her element. All it took to make her happy was a bit of printing apparently. If only we’d known that week one, eh?”

Ben slid open the door to outside, pulling Callum with him. The heat hit him immediately. It felt strange going between seasons; the cosy coolness of winter inside the house, to the blustering heat of summer in the garden.

Everything was quiet as usual, the only notable difference being the two balloons that were tied to the bench. He recognised them from the decorations that Big Brother had set up for the office party. “What we doing with those?” he asked.

Ben let go of his hand for a second, and it felt cold immediately despite the humidity. Callum just wanted to get him back and for them to just stand here all night. He didn’t have to wait long though, as Ben untied the balloons and brought them back, handing one red balloon to Callum.

“I don’t think it ever gets easier, I just think the things around you change,” Ben said looking up to the starry sky. There were barely any clouds tonight, just one dark shape lingering up by the moon. “It seems better when everything else is better, and it seems worse when everything else is worse.”

“What does it feel like now then?” Callum asked curiously, curling the balloon ribbon around his hand.

“Better,” Ben said simply. “With you it’s always better.”

Ben let the balloon float from his hand as he reached down and linked their fingers together. It got higher and higher, the string wriggling defiantly in the slight breeze as it started to fade into the darkness. It was still there though. It could still be seen in view.

He felt a nudge at his elbow and Ben nodded at him to repeat the action. Callum let his balloon go, and it started to drift up to the sky the same as Ben’s had. There was a quick gust of wind though, that sent it on a different course. Callum watched as it was flung into a tree and stabbed by a spiky branch. It’s ascent soon stopped, and it came tumbling and rolling back to earth, landing firmly in the chicken coop on top of Penny who started squawking furiously.

“Terrific,” Callum said as Ben started to laugh next to him. “It ain’t funny! I can’t do anything right.”

Ben just carried on chuckling as he jumped in the chicken coop and pulled the burst balloon off the angry chicken, who then stomped back into the hen house. “Don’t take it personally. It’s just one of those things. It probably should have happened to mine as well, but I’m having a lucky few days, aren’t I? Well, not that I’d call it luck.”

“It’s good though, ain’t it?” Callum said, glaring at the retrieved burst balloon. “That you ain’t gotta go through eviction this week. Although, you have been saved three times.”

“I should be hated,” Ben replied, coming to perch near him, taking his antlers off and putting them on the table.

“You always say that.”

“I shouldn’t be here.”

“You always say that as well,” Callum said, giving him a soft smile. “Don’t mean it’s true though. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here with me.”

Ben looked up to him then, his eyes a little fierce, and he swallowed deeply and took a deep breath. “I need to tell you something,” he said standing up quickly, and holding out his hand to Callum again. “Come on.”

Their hands were drawn back together, and Ben pulled his arm with a ferocity that he had never quite seen as he quickly encouraged him back into the house and into the bathroom. Callum just stood and watched curiously as Ben grabbed a towel and headed towards the toilet cubicle, knocking open the door.

He stood on the closed lid of the toilet, his balance a little precarious, and Callum almost ran towards him when he gave a wobble. He may not seem that drunk, but there was certainly inwardly an intoxication.

Callum watched as Ben tied the towel around the microphone hanging down from the ceiling making sure it was secured tightly before jumping down. He clambered up a second time, wrapping a second towel around the camera in there.

_“This is Big Brother, would Ben please remove the coverings from the toilet microphone and camera immediately.”_

“Fuck off,” he replied, before approaching Callum. He reached around to the back of his jeans, pulling out his microphone pack, his fingers just grazing the skin on Callum’s back with a prickle. Ben’s hands moved so quickly that he barely noticed the wire being pulled from his jumper before the pack hit the chair.

Ben repeated the action on himself, throwing his microphone down next to Callum’s, before pulling him into the toilet. The door closed slowly, blocking out most of the light. They were alone.

Immediately, Ben linked their fingers together, pulling Callum’s hand up to his face. He closed his eyes, and breathed in deeply as he rested his forehead there. He let out a large breath, almost like he had been holding it the best part of forever.

When Ben leaned back, his eyes found Callum’s and he reached up with his other hand to stroke his cheek. They stood like that for a minute. Callum couldn’t move, his whole body was just frozen, not wanting to move in case this ended. In case it all stopped.

“I know things,” Ben said in a whisper, even though the microphone was covered. “You remember on launch night when Kat came in and it was like you knew she was the final person?”

Callum nodded, thinking back to that night that seemed a million years ago. How had it been less than a month?

“That, Callum,” Ben said firmly. “That.”

He shook his head, not quite sure what was being said. “I don’t understand.”

Ben seem to retreat a little then, almost as he was regretting saying anything. “It don’t matter anyhow,” he confessed, before his eyes started to pierce into Callum’s, pleading and begging. Ben brought his hand back up to stroke his cheek. “I’ve got something else to tell you.”

Callum didn’t reply again, just leaned a little closer as Ben lifted himself up so his mouth was next to his ear. “I really want to kiss you.”

He moved back slightly, his eyes heavy and an almost little shy blush crept into his cheeks at his confession. Callum didn’t know what to say. He knew what his body was telling him to do, how loudly it shouted and bellowed and pulled. How tightly it gripped Ben’s hand, not wanting to let go.

His head tried to defy him though, attempted to reason and compromise. It seemed the safer choice, not the one that seemed to be pumping hot blood through his body right now, but the one that he could explain away. So he lifted Ben’s hand to his lips, closing his eyes and letting his mouth brush the skin there in a kiss. He kept the contact for a considerable time, his lips not wanting to let go and break the heady feeling that the touch was injecting into him.

Ben let out a small laugh. “Not like that! You know what I mean! You ain’t Peter fucking Pan,” he said, giving a flirty stroke of his hand to Callum’s hip, the finger creeping under the jumper to rub at the skin. “A real kiss.”

Callum licked his lips, and his body was screaming at him now, banging on every nerve to lean forward.

The door opened loudly, clattering and brightening as the light seeped back in. “Oh. Hi,” Habiba said, taking in the scene before her. “I appear to arrived on the Bad Timing Express, first stop Awkward Town.”

“What do you want, Habs?” Ben said with a growl. Callum leaned back against the wall, realising his cheeks felt like they were burning.

“Keep your beret on!” she replied, holding up her hands defensively. “Big Brother called me to the Diary Room and told me I had to uncover the camera and microphone in here! It’s a proxy cock block! Totally not my call! I think Kush was asking for you anyway. That copier’s not working again.”

Ben gave a small groan before stomping out of the bathroom and back into the main section of the house. Habiba gave Callum an apologetic shrug before he left too, letting out a harsh breath he didn’t know he was holding.

There was still music playing into the main house, and Ben swaggered over to the copier, giving it a small kick when he arrived.

“Oh yeah, that’s going to help!” Dotty remarked, as Callum went to sit by the bottom of the Christmas tree.

“Just shut it, Dotty!” Ben replied. “I ain’t in the mood. I thought you said you could work this thing?”

“You must have heard wrong,” Dotty replied, as Ben snarled back. “We can’t always get what we want, can we? Oh that reminds me, I keep meaning to ask you about your wedding plans, Callum. You and Whitney set a date yet?”

“That’s not her name,” Habiba whispered to Dotty, as she came and joined them by the tree.

“Yeah, Whit sorted it all out,” he replied, not really wanting to talk about it. If he didn’t talk about it, then he didn’t have to think about it, and if he didn’t have to think about it then maybe it wasn’t really happening. “It was supposed to be the day of the wrap party actually, but she managed to get it all moved to the week after.”

There was a clatter as Ben dropped the door to the photocopier he had been holding in his hand, and he started to walk towards Callum, squinting in confusion. “Your wedding is the week after the show finishes?” he asked slowly, his forehead creased and eyes narrowed.

Callum nodded. “Well, yeah,” he said with a shrug, and he suddenly wanted to be anywhere but here. “I know it don’t give us a lot of time, but I’ll doubt I’ll get to the final. And even if I did, then the show said I’d be done with all the media stuff by then, so it should be fine.”

“I’m not politely enquiring whether you got time to personally tie the flower arrangements!” Ben spat back, his face fused in fury. “You know what I’m saying. I ain’t asking if you planned to get married a week after the finale. I’m asking you if you’re planning on getting married a week after the finale.”

Callum’s heart was almost beating out of his chest with the spotlight of the question. There was no saviour though, no reprieve or interruption. He had to respond.

“Yes.”

In so many ways, and for so many reasons, Callum knew the moment the word left his lips that he had given the wrong answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> Or obviously you can drop a few words down below if you'd like to comment. Thank you so much for reading xx


	13. Week Four (Part 2)

**Day Twenty Four (continued)**

“What’s wrong with that?” Callum answered with a defiant shrug.

Ben stepped a little nearer, almost as though he expected it to all be a joke that he hadn’t noticed. The rest of the housemates had a look of worry on their faces, and it was those stares that made Callum feel like going on the offence. He couldn’t stand the stares.

“Are you joking?” Ben replied, almost as if he were giving Callum a way out. A final point in the journey that he could get off the ride before it clattered over the side, and crashed and burnt below. “You’re actually asking me what’s wrong.”

“Ben, you’ve had a drink, yeah?” Kush said, putting his hand on Ben’s arm and trying to lead him back. “Don’t say anything you’re going to regret later.”

“He’s asking me what’s wrong!” Ben exclaimed with incredulity. “He’s actually making out like he don’t know!”

Callum scoffed at the reply. “Why you getting like this?” he said, shaking his head and pursing his mouth. He just wanted it to stop. He wanted the whole thing to stop.

“Oh God, I can’t watch!” Habiba exclaimed, covering up one eye.

“I can,” Dotty grinned from the photocopier.

Ben’s head spun around quickly. “Why don’t you just fuck off!” he spat at her, before turning his fury back at Callum. “You’re getting married?”

“Yeah,” he repeated. He didn’t know how else to say it. It wasn’t something he had the power to change, why was Ben getting so angry at him?

“In a few weeks, you’re leaving here and getting married?” Ben repeated. Callum didn’t know what to say. No matter how many times it was stated, it didn’t make it less true.

Ben turned away, subtly guided by Kush, but there was one cruel glare sent Callum’s way. And that was it. That’s what set everything off as it ricocheted into his veins painfully.

“What’s your problem?” he shouted out, the voice almost not recognisable as his own. “I’ve never hid the fact I was getting married! Why you trying to make out like I’ve been strutting around here like I’m single? I ain’t you, Ben! I don’t need to fight the world to show who I am!”

Quickly, Ben wriggled out of Kush’s grasp and turned with vigour back towards him. “Who are you then?” he shouted, taking further steps towards him. “Who are you, Callum?”

“Ben don’t!” Habiba pleaded. “He doesn’t get it!”

“Oh he gets it!” Ben said with a laughterless chuckle, grabbing his arm, as though he was trying to shake the truth into him. “Trust me, he gets it. He’s just too much of a coward to do anything about it!”

It was like a sudden explosion, and he pulled his arm away with such vigour that they both stumbled into the Christmas tree. “Don’t tell me what I am!”

The decorated pine tumbled over as Habiba gave a small shriek and dodged out the way. There were lights everywhere, their bulbs smashed when they hit the ground. There was silence.

“Naughty, naughty,” Dotty giggled, breaking the quiet.

“Go stick a toner cartridge up your arse!” Ben spat at her, clambering up and walking towards the young woman.

_“This is Big Brother. Would Ben please come to the diary room immediately.”_

Ben looked at the ceiling open mouthed. “Me? Are you having some sort of fucking break down? I didn’t start this!”

He continued his protests as Kush almost dragged him to the diary room and threw him in. Once the door was closed, he came over to put his hand on Callum’s shoulder. “Mate, he’s just upset,” he tried to say, but Callum just shrugged him off. “It’ll all blow over.”

“What, you think it was alright him treating me like that?” he replied sulkily, and he could feel his eyes stinging. He didn’t understand how it had all suddenly blown up from out of nowhere. “I can’t deal with this now!”

He ignored Kush trying to grab his arm, Kat’s whispers to leave him and Habiba’s eyes which told him that she didn’t think he was blameless. Instead, he just strolled into the garden, needing to hide, needing to run but having nowhere else to go to.

There was only one place he could go. Callum hurried up to the Snug, his breath coming in bursts now and almost leapt in the door, curling up on the soft, cosy ground, leaning his head on a pillow before grabbing for the blanket nearby. He pulled it over his head, not wanting anyone to see him, not wanting the attention of the cameras. Not wanting the attention of anyone.

It happened again, where the tears began to fall and the sobs ached out of his mouth. He felt like a child, hiding and weeping in his bed, his fingers soggy and wrinkled from the tears and his nose blocked. His face was blotchy and reddened; he could tell for just the heat picking off it. The pain that struck his chest, that battered and bruised his insides and tossed and turned everything upside down in his stomach, was like the weight of a thousand fallen stars all crumpling on to him. Those stars that Ben had moved for him, and all dropped down from the sky. And he cried. Ever so much.

It may have been that he dozed off for a while, or perhaps time just passed quickly and indeterminately. When he opened his eyes they stung, drying at the corners and feeling sticky. He felt exhausted. Even more so, his brain was baffled at why his body had just given in.

Callum lay there for a while longer, his nose buried in the soft fluff of the blanket, that just tickled his nostrils and made them twitch.

There was the squeak of a door, and a slight draft of warm air appeared. He could even make out light through the material of the blanket before it quickly disappeared. Someone was in here. He tried to convince himself it was just Kush or Kat coming to check on him, but he knew better than that. Instinctively, he curled up closer against the wall.

There was a slight movement on the ground that appeared behind his back, and it just confirmed immediately what he had guessed. It didn’t move, or speak, or try and do anything for moments, many moments perhaps, until a hand gently brushed at his arm. “I’m sorry,” it said, and Callum could feel a swirl of a fingertip through the blanket.

Callum gave a sniff. He thought that was the best answer. Perhaps it was a bit strong, but Ben carried on sitting there, so he supposed it hadn’t been that insulting. There was a continued silence, just Callum’s breathing, harsher now his sinuses had been dragged through the ringer, and just the same touch of Ben’s hand connected to his arm through the blanket.

“Please,” Ben continued, when Callum still didn’t move or acknowledge him. He was still angry, still had this annoyance bursting up though his chest. But it seemed misaimed to just target it at Ben. It wasn’t quite the right place, though he didn’t know what the right one was or why.

Callum relented finally, lifting his head out the blanket and rolling over onto his back. He wasn’t looking Ben in the eye, he couldn’t at the moment, but he didn’t flinch when Ben shuffled down and matched his stance, laying next to him shoulder to shoulder.

“It’s alright,” Callum said, his voice cracking and breaking when it met the air. “Don’t matter.”

“It does matter,” Ben said. “That weren’t right, what I did. I’m not gonna make you do anything or say anything if you don’t feel like it. I reckon you’ve had enough of that for a lifetime. I reckon we both have.”

Callum brought his hand outside the blanket to lay by his side, the back of his fingers just brushing with Ben’s. Not enough to connect, but enough to feel the warmth pulsing out into the small hairs on his skin.

“It’s fine, honest,” Callum replied, just wanting to stay like this, exactly like this. “It’s forgotten.”

It wasn’t.

**Day Twenty Five**

Callum thought he was doing a pretty good job of the next task, as he carefully cut out the right amount of paper, a good length of sticky tape attached. He made sure all the edges were tucked in, and then put a neatly curled bow on it. That’s what he would want a present to look like. That’s what he used to think about when he was younger, and he saw all the presents wrapped in the display in the fancy shops.

To the side of him, Vinney was using a whole roll to wrap around a Lynx Africa gift set, moulding it into one big ball, with more tape than anything. “Christ, what would you do if you had to wrap a bike?” Ben said, staring open mouthed at the sight. “Perform a bit of mummification on it?”

Ben. It had been better between them since their argument, almost back to normal, or seemingly so. They had just laid in the Snug for a little while, barely moving, and in perfect silence before Ben started to get up and head towards the door.

The got undressed as usual, but when they got into bed, Ben didn’t hold out his hand. Callum wanted to hold it, he wanted to cling on, any anger faded to dust. He couldn’t ask though. He couldn’t do that. He didn’t know how to, the threat of rejection too familiar, too likely to happen. That was the story of his life.

Just the thought of Ben made him feel like he was on one of those fair rides that strap you in, build and build, going up and up, until it suddenly drops you down to the ground again, and it feels as if your stomach is left up in the air, outside of your body. That’s what he felt every time Ben even passed through his mind.

So Callum rolled over and went to sleep, just Vinney’s humming next to him. If he thought about it, if he let his brain take over, then he could pretend that Ben didn’t exist. He didn’t seem real. He didn’t seem like someone that would want to be around someone as messed up as Callum. Why would he? It made those flutters in his stomach drop like a poisoned butterfly.

He faded into colourless dreams, not daring to reach out himself. Because if he didn’t reach out, then he wouldn’t get that breaking and shattering in his chest. In fact, he would feel nothing at all.

The next morning, Callum woke up and looked towards the next bed. Ben was gone, vanished from the room once more.

Callum took his time getting up, checking in with the other housemates first, before he faced the inevitable. Opening the patio door, he stepped out towards the chickens. He felt reluctant to approach, but he didn’t know why, couldn’t put his finger on exactly what was holding him back. Obviously, one reason was because the little terrors were staring at him with their beaky grins, but this was different. He did go nearer though, and Ben smiled at him, but it didn’t feel the same. It was like everything had switched on its axis.

Connie came clucking up to him, telling him the news of the day. By the way Glory waddled up and started squawking after her, he wasn’t sure it was entirely accurate.

“Think she can just open up whenever she wants that one,” Ben said, nodding to where Glory was clucking in Connie’s feathered ear. “Don’t know when to shut up, that’s her problem.”

Callum nodded, as Connie shooed her defiant friend away and went back to trying to peck her way through the bars. “Ben, about last night. It weren’t your fault. I guess it’s all just getting to us, ain’t it?” he rambled. He felt he should speak, but the words just tumbled out at speed. “Away from everything and everyone we care about.”

He could have kicked himself. Ben turned away and started to bend down to pick up Missy. Callum knew he needed to back away, and that was confirmed when the bird seemed to just growl at him over Ben’s shoulder. Did chicken’s growl? She was possibly just burping up a worm. He liked to think that they’d bonded since he took her to the Diary Room when she was injured, rather than slip on the way and accidently shove her into the microwave.

Callum gave a small tap to the fence, and walked back into the house, He just wanted to get this monster in his stomach out. But he didn’t know how to do it without anyone seeing its face.

He didn’t have long to last before he and Ben couldn’t avoid each other, as Big Brother has called them all together for the final task of wrapping as many commonly given Christmas presents as accurately and professionally as they could in the time limit. Most of them were storming on ahead, not worrying about perfect creases and matched up designs, but Callum liked to add a little bit of care into the skill.

“There, that will do, won’t it?” Kat said, holding up the long item she had just wrapped, the paper bunching up in different shapes at either end where she’d tried unsuccessfully to smooth down the Sellotape. “They’ll have to accept this one, won’t they?”

Habiba dropped the packet of socks she was holding. “What exactly did they give you to wrap?” she asked curiously, her voice slow as if she was afraid of the answer.

Kat looked at her present and back at the wide eyed stares, before waving the package around for emphasis. “It were one of those giant tubes of Smarties, weren’t it?” she said, screwing up her face at the bemused looks around her.

“Oh!” Vinney exclaimed. “That makes sense. Mate, that ain’t what it looks like though!”

Bringing the present closer to her face, Kat examined it closely. “What does it look like then?”

Dotty sputtered out loudly, losing her grip on the paper used to wrap the bodywash. “Are you serious?” she laughed out, her face spreading into a snarly smirk. “You of all people don’t know what it looks like?”

“Don’t mind her, Kat,” Ben said, rolling her eyes. “Dotty’s got a whole suitcase full of them. Her skin shrivels to dust at the touch of human flesh, so she has to have something to keep her going!”

“Or men are just so shit that I have to finish the job myself!” she replied with a huff.

“Why you aiming that at my door?” Ben said, as Callum shuffled a box of Quality Street around trying to find a good wrapping angle. “I’m walking in the same direction as you, yeah?”

Kat’s eyes suddenly became wide as she realised what they thought the package contained. “You are all filthy minded!” she said, starting to unwrap it. “As if Big Brother would give me a tickle pickle to wrap up! Do you lot really think that of me?”

“Well, it ain’t like you need it, is it?” Vinney said, trying to curl his ribbon but instead ending up stabbing his scissors into the desk diary he’d just wrapped. “You got the real pound of meat right there, ain’t you?”

They all groaned, accept Kat and Kush who turned their heads away. Callum watched them, his eyes darting between the two. There was a gap and a distance that was impossible to avoid.

“Do you have to phrase it like that?” Dotty said, mock retching. “Not exactly the most appealing image!”

“Yeah, Vin! You know Dotty don’t like a good bit of meat anywhere near her!” Ben said. “Replace it with a good bit of root veg and she’ll be drooling at the mouth and going to town!”

“It ain’t like any of you girls would ever choose a bit of plastic over the real thing though, would you?” Vinney said, sellotaping and patching up the hole in his present. “You’d always choose a fella over one of those buzzing dingers wouldn’t you?”

There was a slight silence in the room. “Yes!” Habiba said, a little too enthusiastically. “Yes, we would, in the best case scenario! There’s nothing like cuddling up to someone you just adore and just laying with them in bed all day. Just being around them makes you glow and feel warmth, and when you’re together like that, it just feels right like you can’t get enough. It’s like a drug you just need hit after hit of, and when you get it, the feeling swells all through you. Nothing compares to that.”

Callum’s eyes jolted towards Ben. They found him looking back.

“Bloody hell, Habs,” Kat said, blinking back her shock. “Did they have a free book of poetry with the latest edition of Cosmo?”

“See?” Vinney interrupted. “Habiba, has just proven my point. The real thing can satisfy in a way that none of that fake shit can!”

“Well, that’s not what I said!” Habiba corrected, wrapping two metres of ribbon around her parcel. “When you’re head over heels with someone, when you have that spark and that pull, it’s better than anything. Otherwise it’s all a bit hit and miss. A lot of the time you shag a guy and it’s a bit like a McDonalds hamburger. You only slightly fancy it, it’s always smaller than you hoped, it leaves a salty taste in your mouth and you have to get the pickle out yourself!”

“Yeah, there ain’t nothing like having a good shag with someone you click with, who you really fancy the pants off and just can’t stop,” she said. Kush’s face fell again, Callum noticed. She wasn’t talking about him. “But with all the effort it takes to get yourself dolled up, go out, get pulled by whatever slim pickings are on offer, get laid and then get home and finish yourself off if you can be arsed, it’s sometimes just easier to sort things out yourself!”

“True,” Habiba said. “It does the job. We’re all just ultimately looking for that next person who can make us feel like everything clicks into place.”

Callum couldn’t help but look towards Ben, see him bite his lip in concentration at trying to hold down one of the paper flaps and cut off a piece of tape with the same hand, before cursing under his breath when it got caught round his pinkie finger. He seemed to catch that he was being watched, and turned his head.

“Callum, we’ve only got two minutes left!” he barked out with a tut when he saw he had paused. “It’s a box of chocolates, not the hope diamond, just get the fucking thing done!”

It wasn’t a surprise when later Big Brother announced that they had passed the task, despite the constant criticism of Callum’s slow but steady wrapping pace. It would mean some luxuries for next week. They hadn’t gone hungry the past few days; Callum and Habiba had made simple but filling foods that kept them all happy, but they didn’t have any of the little treats that helped time pass much easier in the house. There was also that one meal of Toad in the Hole that Habiba made, but decided to add sugar for a little texture. Apart from that, they’d eaten well the past week.

As a reward for passing the task, Big Brother sent them through an already cooked Christmas lunch. Callum was a little disappointed it was pre-prepared. He would have liked to have spent some time doing it himself, made everyone a proper dinner, flavoured everything how he liked, go out and wave the raw turkey at the chickens as a warning of what could happen if they kept giving him jip.

He didn’t speak up though, and everyone else seemed to have something to complain about today too. It was like none of them could settle, none of them were in a good mood and it just seemed to domino all over the place. Even the table décor that Big Brother provided was rubbing some of them up the wrong way.

“It’s just wrong! You can’t have Christmas dinner without crackers, can you?” Kat said, snarling at the table.

“They’ve given the hats, look,” Kush said, pointing to the gold, red and green hats that decorated the name plates on the table. “That’s the part of the cracker that stays around the longest anyway. The bit that isn’t tossed aside once you’ve banged it.”

There was that awkward silence again, that crackle in the air that kept coming up in the house. They had all been together for a month now. It had to get to them at some point. It all had to implode at some point.

“Let’s just sit down and eat shall we, unless anyone else wants to make some unsubtle digs. Vinney, you want to compare the coldness of the drumstick to Dotty’s heart?”

“Fuck off, Ben!” Dotty replied, drawing her chair out with a scrape. “Just because your chestnuts are ready to explode, you don’t have to take it out on the rest of us!”

Callum took a seat next to Ben at the table and slid his hat on tentatively. “Well, cheers everyone, yeah?” he said raising his glass. “Merry Christmas!”

“Not much fucking merry about it, is there?” Kush said, downing his glass of Lambrusco in one go. “Let’s not pretend we’re actually spending what’s considered the most important day of the year with anyone that actually cares about us.”

“It’s August 5th,” Habiba clarified.

“I fucking hate when men do this!” Kat muttered under her breath. “I never promised you anything! Don’t make out like I gave you any hint that I wanted to get together and play house!”

“Well what was I to think when you went to bed with me on national tv?” Kush replied, as Habiba started to lean across them to spoon some roast potatoes onto her plate. “That you were just having a yawn and your legs fell open?”

There was a slight curse as Vinney dropped the spoon used to serve the cranberry sauce down his top. Ben sat back with folded arms watching the scene unfold.

“It’s just sex,” Kat spat back, dishing up the carrots with clatter of the spoon. “Were both single, we never made any commitment or undying declarations. We aren’t exactly sitting there cuddling up and holding hands. We scratched an itch, it’s done. Get over it. Anyone want some of these?”

“I don’t think I quite fancy a plateful of anger, ta very much,” Ben replied. “I quite fancy a good bit of stuffing though, if you’ve had all you need, Kat?”

Callum elbowed him, and he turned round with a shrug mothing a ‘what?’ at him.

“Well, I’m glad I could be of a service to you,” Kush said, scratching out his chair. “Nice to know you really took the time to get to know me. I guess I just thought you liked me. I was just a convenient warm body though, eh? If you’ll all excuse me, I don’t really feel like celebrating. I’m going to go have a lie down.”

Once Kush had made his way into the bedroom, there was little chatter at the table, just the sound of knives and forks digging in. Callum wasn’t sure anyone was enjoying it though; it was impossible for anything to leave a good taste in your mouth when you’d had someone’s dirty washing spread out over the turkey.

“You did the right thing,” Dotty said towards Kat while carving up her nut roast. “Trust me.”

“Well, if that ain’t the kiss of death, then I don’t know what is!” Ben snorted out. “The right thing for who, eh?”

“Look can we just stop!” Kat said, dropping her cutlery with a clang, and holding out her hand. Her fingers was almost shaking. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

She clattered back her chair as well, and almost started to go into the bedroom, before she remembered who was in there and made her way up to the bathroom.

The sound of Vinney stuffing turkey into his mouth and chomping on the dry meat, overtook he table, as Callum’s stomach felt sick. “Now, this feels like Christmas,” Ben whispered next to him.

Callum didn’t say anything else. He didn’t need to. He put his knife and fork down, most of his food still filling his plate.

_“This is Big Brother. Would all the housemates gather on the sofas immediately.”_

They were all at either ends of the house, the most distance they could put between each other. They all staggered up, barely a glance between them, and got to the sofas.

“Do you think it’s a reward?” Habiba asked hopefully.

Ben shook his head. “No, I got a feeling I know exactly what this is about.”

Callum did too. It hadn’t stopped crossing his mind. He knew what happened when you broke the rules.

The all took different edges of the sofa; there was certainly enough space. There weren’t that many of them left after all. Still, they didn’t have to sit apart. They could have been closer if they wanted to be.

_“Housemates, when you entered the house you agreed to abide by Big Brother’s rules, including not tampering with the fixtures, fittings, cameras or microphones. Yesterday, at 10.21pm, Ben went into the bathroom toilet cubicle and wrapped a bath towel around the external microphone, and then another around the external camera. When asked to uncover them by Big Brother he refused to comply. This was a blatant and deliberate disregard for Big Brother’s policy, and a clear breach of the rules.”_

“Oh God, please don’t take away the hair straighteners again!” Habiba cried. “The frizz alone will make people turn off the show!”

_“As punishment for Ben’s actions, the whole house will be up for eviction this week.”_

There was a shocked look on the housemates faces, including Ben’s. He had seemed to assume they would only punish him. Instead he had been saved.

“Well, it’s preferable to the hair straighteners,” Habiba said with a shrug. “I can live with a nomination.”

“It’s not just being nominated though, Habs, is it?” Vinney replied. “You might actually go!”

_“However, as Ben won immunity from the shopping task, he is exempt from eviction this week. Therefore, the housemates nominated are: Callum, Dotty, Habiba, Kat, Kush and Vinney. Ben, Big Brother will get back to you with your punishment in due course.”_

“Fuck,” Ben muttered, shaking his head. “They are absolute fuckers. They want you to turn on me.”

“Well, we’ll give them exactly what they want in full high definition, shall we?” Dotty scowled. “I can’t believe I’m up for eviction for no reason.”

“Oh yeah, it was a real long shot if nominations had actually gone ahead!” Ben replied, shaking his head. “I’m sure your name would never have crossed any of our minds!”

“Fuck off, Ben!” she said, throwing a cushion at him.

Ben caught it mid air, and placed it behind his back, snuggling down into it before stretching his hands behind his head. “Can’t I’m afraid. I’m not up for eviction!”

“I wouldn’t be too cocky about it, mate,” Kush commented. “They did say you’d still get a punishment.”

Ben scoffed slightly. “What exactly can they do to me at the moment?” he replied. “Keeping me in this sodding place is punishment in my eyes. I ain’t gonna squirk my guts cause they turn off the hairdryer for half hour. No offence, Habs.”

“You alright, Callum?” Kat asked, sitting across from him. “Your first time, ain’t it?”

He nodded and swallowed deeply. It was fine. He had expected this. It had to have happened at some point, that was the nature of the game after all. Callum knew he had dodged this bullet on the first week. Well, not so much dodged it, more got pushed with a force out of it’s path. It hadn’t just been luck.

“You never forget your first time,” Ben said, stretching his arms out with a groan. “I’m more than a little experienced so I’ll walk you through it, sunshine.”

“It’s fine,” Callum said, smiling back at all of them, but he couldn’t help but dread the nerves that threatened to strike. He would be under the spotlight later in the week, people were out there now deciding whether or not he even deserved to stay on the show, analysing his every move, and weighing up every twitch and inch of his personality. They held all that power in his hands; all that power to decide his fate and his choices.

It wasn’t fine.

** Day Twenty Six **

Callum wouldn’t exactly say the days had been flying, especially in those long afternoon hours on days they didn’t have a task. Those moments seemed to stay stopped in time and tick by with a frustratingly slow monotony. There were still positives to those days though. He would lounge on the sofas chatting with Kat and Kush, listen to them giggling happily and teasing each other, learning about their lives, all the hope and heartbreak that that brought. Sometimes he’d spend the time in the kitchen creating some concoction with Habiba, trying to teach her that tomato ketchup wasn’t an appropriate food colouring for fairy cakes, and being mildly impressed when they made something remotely edible. There were even times he chatted with Vinney and Dotty, when the conversation fell on a tv show or movie that they had all seen, and they could chat normally without Dotty’s second face bulging its way through.

Then there was Ben. They could just sit together in the Snug, curled up in the blankets, or lay in the garden with the warm sun belting down on them and it wouldn’t matter if time stopped and never moved again. Callum knew that. He knew that they could stay together like that, just like that, and it would be his perfect last moment on earth. Those niggles and bites in his head and his heart were numbed, and it was only pure warmth that he felt. Those were the moments that had been his happiest, and not just in the house.

Today was not one of those days. The time really did feel like it was stickily creeping by, like each tick was a shoe step with chewing gum on the bottom. There was no bustle to the house, no cackles of laughter or merry shouting. It was all silence, and the greying dull weather outside merely accurately represented their mindset inside.

Everyone was slightly down over their nominations, and even though Ben kept teasing Dotty, Callum knew he was feeling guilty about being the only one who wasn’t up for eviction, and it was manifesting itself in his ego, waltzing around the house like he didn’t care about anyone or anything. But Callum knew he cared. He knew he did. It was all a front to protect himself. He was almost like the Ben of that first week. A fire in his eye and a pain dripping off him.

They talked, and they spent time together, it was impossible not to when you were stuck in a house for twenty fours hours a day. There was a barrier between them though, an invisible fence that made them both keep their distance since their fight the other evening.

They had both apologised, they had both calmed, but Callum knew it was just papering over the cracks. It wasn’t real. It looked like it to the eye, perhaps to anyone watching. It was like they were both trying to make everyone believe that it was back to normal, to lure and convince and lull that they were the same as they ever were.

Nothing had been fixed though, they were still wandering lost in a maze, presenting just the facsimile of what they once were. Callum wasn’t really sure if that was real either though, there always seemed to be some monsters lurking beneath the surface, using his worries and fears like strings of a marionette.

It was awful now though, both of them tiptoeing around each other, almost afraid of how things would explode if they got too close.

The rest of the housemates weren’t much better. Dotty was now a clique of one, as Vinney seemed to edge away from her clutches, or at least be less susceptible to them. It didn’t put her in the best mood, hanging on to her control with a thin piece of fallen angel hair tied around it. Kat and Kush were barely speaking at all, and when they did it was ultra polite and only when necessary. Having to live in close proximity to someone you had just broken up with, wasn’t the ideal situation by a long way. There was also the fact that in Kat’s eyes, they weren’t even together in the first place.

Callum liked both of them a lot, and had become used to spending time with them together. Now, they couldn’t be sitting further apart in the house if they tried, and he didn’t want it to seem like he was taking sides. He understood that Kush had feelings for Kat, and was hurt that she wanted something different, but at the same time Kat had always been clear to him what she wanted. He had heard both sides. He had heard a lot from both sides, and he seemed to be an outlet for both of them.

Even Habiba seemed less than her bouncy self, the atmosphere clearly bleeding though to her mood too. When he saw her sitting in a corner by herself, gnawing on an aubergine, he knew he had to do something. It was like seeing a hamster that had been given one of those all-singing, all dancing tubes and treats cages, before taking it away and sticking it in an ice cream tub with a few air holes cut in. He had to cheer her up.

“Alright, Habs,” he said, perching down next to her. “How’s tricks?”

She just shrugged back to him, her large brown eyes drooped with sadness. “Oh fine, nothing to do, no one is speaking to anyone, and this bell pepper tastes of the ground. Apart from that I’m just cool and the gang.”

Callum had a think, trying to come up with a way that would brighten her mood. If he could ship in the band Steps, that might perk her up a little. Unless she had a restraining order from them; it was likely. Instead he tried to think about something in the house that could make her smile. “Probably because it’s an aubergine. Don’t think you’re supposed to eat them like that. How about we go in the pool for a bit? I fancy a little swim.”

It didn’t seem to be working, she merely gave another shrug. “I’ve just spent three hours doing my hair,” she replied, pointing to the shiny waves that dropped down her body. “I’m not going to ruin it by dipping it in the juice of pigeon spit and badger piss, and whatever the hell else gets near that cesspit of a pool.”

Callum gave a sigh. This really was a bad day for them all. “Well, I’ll tell you what? I’m gonna go in, so why don’t you come sit on the side, keep me company?” he tried.

She stopped her nibbles on the vegetables for a moment, and her eyes darted to the side in thought. “I could wear my Dior swimming costume, and perch like a stunning mermaid on a rock pool!” she said, her eyes brightening a little. She nodded, smiling back at him. “Alright then. Give me ten minutes, I’ll finish my snack and then get my cossie!”

Callum smiled back at her and gave her leg a little squeeze. “I’ll see you there!” he said as he walked to the bedroom to get his swimming trunks on.

Once he was changed, he grabbed a towel and creeped out the bedroom. Most of the others were asleep, Vinney snoring softly in Callum’s bed, while Kush was spread out on the double across the room. Kat had moved in with Dotty, much to the younger woman’s annoyance, and threatened to pickle her toes if her ‘lizard claws’ got anywhere near her during the night. Both ladies were fast asleep, as Callum tiptoed past their bed.

The day had been grey and dull, but the night didn’t convey that, as the stars slightly sparked through the misty clouds. The air was clear and fresh, but still the heat of summer fluttered through. Callum placed his towel down on a chair and approached the pool, unceremoniously dropping himself in.

It was a little cool at first, the lapping water refreshing against his skin. His body acclimatised quickly though, and a warmth rubbed against his muscles. He ducked his head under the surface, submerging his whole body briefly, encased in his water bubble before popping back up with a splash.

“Not gonna lie, I fully support the partial nudity approach to get votes,” he heard Ben’s voice say when he rubbed the water out of his eyes.

Ben had been in the diary room for the last hour, called in just as Callum was finishing washing up from dinner. He had been sitting and watching, and they were exchanging words in a friendly way. It wasn’t friendly though. That’s just what they made it look like. They were just easy words, and it was almost a relief when Ben got called to speak to Big Brother. Callum couldn’t describe what they were when they were at their best, but deep in there he understood it wasn’t friends.

“I think seeing me like this might just be the final nail in my coffin,” he chuckled. “I’ll have people round the clock voting me out.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I reckon Ofcom will be knackered out with all the complaints about seeing your hideous body on screen.”

“Oi!” Callum said with a grin, before pulling his arm back and splashing some of the water out the pool. It was a little more exuberant than it meant to be, and as a result, droplets showered in the air and rained out onto Ben.

“Well, that was uncalled for!” he replied, unbuckling his jeans and taking off his shirt. “That was an invitation to war if even I saw one.”

“What you doing?” Callum said, as Ben kicked off his boots and started pulling off his trousers. “Are you coming in? You ain’t got your trunks on!”

Ben dropped into the pool with a splash. “Keep your ants in your pants, I’m wearing underwear. Not that a little skinny dip wouldn’t kill you!”

Callum took a few steps back. “All I’m saying is-“

He didn’t get to finish that thought, as a splosh of chlorinated water spluttered into his open mouth when Ben flung it with his fingers towards him.

It brought out the competitiveness in Callum, and after choking out the excess, he started to spade the water towards Ben with his hands quickly, spluttering when he was getting the same back in return.

He couldn’t help but start laughing, as neither retreated from the onslaught, just trying to get nearer and nearer to each other to make each splash have maximum impact. He couldn’t see Ben, the water was hitting his eyes and making them tricky to keep open, and when the attack seemed to stop for a second, he didn’t realise that he was being lured into a false sense of security.

Before Callum knew it, his face was underwater, a pair of hands on his shoulders holding him there. Once he realised what had happened, he used his strength to pull himself back up to the surface, spluttering a little.

Callum lost little time in mimicking the action, jumping up and pushing Ben under the water. His arms were still being gripped onto though, and he found himself being pulled down. When he was under the water, his eyes opened, his hands firm on Ben’s shoulders while the man’s face was just inches from his. Ben’s fingers grazed up his arms and smoothed down his chest, the sensation feeling different under the water. Soft and ghosting, but like an itch under the skin.

There was nothing else under here, just the two of them in a different underwater world that had been turned, but Callum couldn’t hold his breath any longer and his shot up, his head breaching the surface of the night air.

Ben came up a few seconds after him, though Callum swore he thought he felt a hand run up his body before his head appeared. That was down in the different world where the stars moved across the sky though.

“Your microphone’s almost falling in the water,” Callum said, gasping as he tried to get his breath back from the exertion. He nodded to the pack that was hanging over the edge of the pool.

“Shit,” Ben said, swimming a few strokes to the end of the water. “That’s all I need, them calling me in again.”

Ben hauled himself onto the edge of the pool, sitting there for a moment as he wound the wire around his microphone pack. Callum trod water for a few seconds before his eyes drifted.

He couldn’t help but notice, anyone would. Callum was sure that if Kush or Vinney had been in the pool with them, then they couldn’t help but comment on the way the water had thinned Ben’s underwear, how the wetness had tightened them and how very little was left to the imagination.

Callum’s mouth seemed to absorb all moistures and his throat dried, a lump forming that needed to be swallowed down. He gulped back eagerly, but that lump didn’t disappear. It slid down to explode in his belly before the shrapnel shot even lower, pinging into every nerve down there and waking everything up.

He was so caught up with the aftershocks, and the overwhelming desire in his body, that he didn’t realise that Ben had put his pack safely on the side and had swum back over to him. He didn’t realise until two arms snaked around his neck and a pair of thighs settled either side of his hips.

“All done,” he said, his finger just tickling the back of Callum’s neck. “Just trouble me, eh?”

Callum’s eyes were drawn to Ben’s lips as the words escaped, every one buzzing through his body, pushing the blood lower again. He couldn’t say anything though, just carried on with heavy breaths escaping and droplets of water fluttering down his face from his hairline.

Ben must have felt it. He must have known as he was wriggling his thighs to get a tighter grip. Callum felt like he was about to skydive. Standing on the edge of an open plane door. Just another nudge would do it. Just one more little movement and he would tip over the edge.

It was like he was sucked back in the plane though. There was a whirr, a mechanical movement just behind him behind one of the mirrors in the garder, and suddenly he realised where he was. They weren’t in their own empty little world. They weren’t alone, and the door of the plane shut tightly as Callum put a hand on Ben’s chest and pushed him away firmly.

“Hello campers!” a voice called brightly as it made its way through the patio doors. “Chief Entertainment Officer Habiba is here to add a bit of poolside excitement into your evening!”

Callum backed away from Ben even quicker, treading his way to the side. “Habs, would you pass me my towel, please,” he said, willing his body to obey his requests and not give anything away.

“You’re getting out already?” she whined. “I would have been here sooner but I had to shave my legs! I didn’t want to spread out pool side looking like an otter! How about I do my version of TLC’s Waterfalls?”

“The towel, Habiba!” Callum shouted out, his teeth gritted and his knuckles white from gripping onto the edge. He didn’t look at anything, not Ben behind him, not Habiba, a blurry focus in his peripheral vision, and not anything around this garden. Just his knuckles, trembling now as he tried to push every feeling in his body into pain filling his hands.

“Alright! Alright,” she said, and the long cloth material appeared by his face. “Not sure what your last slaved died of! It was only on the chair, Callum. You could have got it yourself!”

As soon as it was in reach, Callum grabbed the towel and wound it around his waist, the same time as he hauled himself out of the water. The edge of the material submerged in the pool, but he didn’t care as he made his way to the door.

As soon as he got inside, he could hear the sopping drops hitting against the floor loudly. Callum pushed his way into the bathroom and grabbed open the door of the shower, hitting the on button and turning down the temperature dial.

He sat down on the floor and took the towel away, the water pelting down on him. “Come on, come on,” he muttered to his rebellious body. “Just go away, please.”

He realised that the microphone above was probably capturing his every word, but he hoped the intensity of the water had drowned it out. That was all he needed. To be there on national television giving his boner a pep talk and a scolding.

It still wasn’t listening though, and his skin was goosebumping to a high level at the chill of the water. Great, he’d have to stroll into the diary room all wet, his skin looking like it had feathers plucked from it and with his trunks tented like a three ring circus, asking them if they could take him to a hospital so they could get rid of his chubby.

Obviously, there was one way to get rid of it, but the only image swirling around his head right now was Ben sitting on the side of the pool in his underwear. Nothing else seemed to be appearing, and he couldn’t. He just couldn’t, even if no one would know.

“Knock knock,” a tentative voice exclaimed from outside the glass. “Can I come in?”

Callum quickly snatched back the towel and covered himself up as the shower door opened, not waiting for an answer.

Habiba stepped in, sitting down on the side opposite Callum, the water immediately cascading down and drenching her body. “Oh my god! How have you been sitting here in this,” she said, her teeth practically chattering together. She reached up and fiddled around with the button. “Let’s dial it down from Calippo temperature to a warming skinny latte, shall we?”

Callum brought his knees up to his head and buried his face into his arms. He didn’t know if he was crying or not, his face and body numb to anything. He felt a few taps on his head, and he imagined it was what Habiba considered to be patting him, like a dog that was just about to be put to sleep but didn’t know it yet.

“You shouldn’t be in here with me,” he snuffled out into his arm, not sure if it was heard or not. “It won’t look right.”

“Well, not to be too blunt but I don’t think either of us are interested in the other that way, are we?” she said over the sound of the water. It was beginning to feel a little warmer now, the heat calming his tense muscles slightly.

He shook his head. Neither of them were insulted by it. He peaked an eye up to see the young woman smiling back up at him, her soggy hair hanging around her shoulders and her make up running. “It’s messed up your hair, Habs,” he said apologetically. “You spent ages on that.”

She ran her fingers through the straggly ends. “Oh it’s fine,” she said, waving away his concerns. “I once went glamping with Pat Sharp and Neil Buchanan in a typhoon. Now that trip was wet! Although, we don’t really talk anymore after you-know-what!”

He nodded. “Your Dior swimming costume looks nice,” he said, trying to repay her kindness.

Habiba moved in slightly, and lowered her voice to a whisper. “In all honesty, it was a tenner from Tesco F&F selection,” she replied with a regretful smile. “Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we’re something we’re not, Callum.”

“I must look like a right idiot, hiding away in here,” he said, resting his cheek on his arm.

“I get it,” Habiba whispered below the water. “We all bloom at different times, Callum. It can be overwhelming when it happens, when you discover who you really are and what you want.”

“I don’t have all the experience and stories that you lot have,” he whispered back. “I’m a grown man and I just feel like some naïve kid.”

Habiba scoffed. “We’ve all been there. I wasn’t always the wise and rational woman I am now, Callum! When I was a younger, this guy I fancied messaged me, asking if I wanted to come over. I was squealing, like I thought this man was just everything! So of course I replied yes! Then he sent through another message asking if I’d like a titwank when I got there.”

Callum’s mouth dropped open.

“I was naïve, I didn’t know what that meant! I thought it was a kind of cocktail!” she replied, shaking her head. “I suppose it was in a way, but not the kind I was thinking about. I practically skipped around there thinking I’d be wined and dined! It really didn’t help matters that I texted back with ‘Sure, but I prefer Sex on the Beach’. We all get our wings at different times, Callum. Just don’t try and push them back in once they’re out.”

“That don’t sound like an encouraging experience, Habs!” he said eyeing the pretty drowned rat before him.

“Well I’ve had worse!” she replied. “I’ve had better though too. Good sex is like a narwhal. It just seems like a made-up myth unless it’s horn is right in front of you.”

Callum shook his head. “Narwhals ain’t real,” he corrected.

“They are!” Habiba squealed back. “Kush said so!”

“He’s not David Attenborough, Habs!” Callum commented. “He sells clothes for a living. How many narwhals do you think he gets popping to his stall for a halter neck dress and two sets of undies?”

The young woman huffed a little and stood up, opening the door to the shower. “I do know things, Callum! As I said, I’m not a silly girl anymore, I’m a wise, strong woman,” she clarified. “Now I’m going to go finish eating the rest of my aubergine and go and ask Big Brother if narwhals are real. You ok?”

He nodded his head, and Habiba smiled at him before leaving the shower. Callum did feel a bit better, and his little problem and faded away for now. Hauling himself up off the tile, he turned the water off. It had been hot, he realised. Big Brother must have switched it on for them. Possibly because they were afraid they’d have a contestant frozen to death in the shower with a massive hard on. That definitely would not be on the risk assessment.

Finding another towel in the bathroom, he dried himself off and made his way to the bedroom. It was all still quiet, with the housemates asleep in the bedroom, except Habiba who had taken her snack into the Diary Room. And Ben of course.

Callum didn’t know where he was, and he didn’t want to know. He couldn’t know. It was just too intense around him, with everything that had happened this week. He just couldn’t be around him for too long without wanting to explode in some way, shape or form and that was a real problem. It was going to be a real problem now that Ben had no chance of being evicted for the next week.

Instead, he crawled into bed, ignoring the whistling sound that was happening between Vinney’s teeth, and started to fall into a sleep.

Callum didn’t know how long after he had drifted off, or if he had even been asleep at all, that he felt a tap at his arm. It wasn’t gentle, or caressing, but enough to wake him up. His eyes blinked open, and he saw Ben standing above him.

“Come on,” he said, but his tone wasn’t warm, and the trouble in his eyes etched through even in the faded darkness.

Callum did as he was told though and followed Ben out the bedroom. He didn’t say anything at first, just took a deep breath and leaned against the arm of the sofa. Callum looked him over, his face blotchy red. This wasn’t going to be good.

“We can’t do this anymore,” Ben said, his voice low and quiet. He wasn’t looking up at Callum, just at his tense fingers that were fidgeting. “I ain’t rushing anyone into anything, but I can’t do this anymore.”

Callum could pretend that he didn’t understand, he could push those feathers back in and play like he didn’t know what Ben was talking about and then this conversation wouldn’t be happening. “Do what?”

“You know what!” Ben said, his head titling up now. His eyes were glazed, battered and broken. “You know, Callum. You know. And I ain’t forcing you to do anything, or gonna try to convince you, cause that ain’t gonna work. It needs to come from you, and you can try and fight it all you want, but it won’t work.”

Callum didn’t know what sparked it off, and even after the words left his mouth they left an awful taste. “You got things twisted in your head!” he replied, heat building, shame building and heartbreak building. “I ain’t like you! What you don’t want to be my friend cause I ain’t interested? I’ve got a girlfriend! It ain’t fair that you’re putting this on me!”

“I’ve got a-“ Ben started to shout back before stopping himself. He walked nearer to Callum, just a step away “Don’t talk to me about fair! You ain’t got a clue what that word means! You can lie to everyone else, but you know you can’t lie to yourself, yeah? It will eat you up inside.”

“I don’t know what you’re on about,” he said, tears running from his lashes. Ben’s eyes softened and his hand reached out to rub Callum’s arm. He pushed it away, so harshly that Ben stumbled back, knocking his leg on the table. “Don’t touch me!”

Ben huffed out a laugh as he rubbed his thigh. “You know what? Let’s leave it at that, shall we? I don’t even know why I’m bothering. As far as I’m concerned, you ain’t in this house anymore,” he said his chin wobbling as it jutted out. “You ain’t even in my world anymore! Cause mate, you really ain’t worth the hassle.”

With that Ben stormed into the bedroom, leaving Callum alone. Truly alone.

** Eviction Night **

Callum pressed everything down in his case again, hoping to create a little more room. It was barely working though, and in fact seemed to just bounce back up further. He could maybe just about close it up, but he still had a few pairs of trainers to squeeze in.

It was eviction day, and Callum woke that morning with his stomach in knots. It wasn’t just because he was nominated, the events from the evening before had left him shattered to pieces, and he wasn’t sure he could be fixed. He was always a little broken, always had been. Maybe it was only now he realised it was more than he ever could have imagined.

True to his word, Ben hadn’t spoken to him today, and Callum hadn’t tried to initiate a conversation. They had been avoiding each other. There was a huge regret in Callum’s body though, at the things he did and said. They didn’t feel like the real him, just a voice that automatically echoed out while his real thoughts were tied up in chains.

Now though, Callum was the last to finish up packing his case for eviction, choosing to fold everything neatly than just brush it all in like Vinney had done. Habiba had just finished hers, surprisingly quick for someone that had enough clothes that she could wear a different outfit each day, and she was now sitting on her bed as Callum finished his packing.

He zipped up most of the case, and then shoved in a shoe at a time, before sitting on it to help bring the fastening round the rest of the way. “There!” he said, stepping back proudly. He had a small overnight bag to put the t-shirt and joggers he was currently wearing in, with his toiletries, and his eviction outfit was set out neatly on the bed. “All done!”

Habiba glanced over. “What about the stuff on your dressing table?” she asked, nodding towards the Stetson and other items that were placed there.

“Shit!” Callum exclaimed. He had forgotten about them. “How am I supposed to fit them all in here? I know it’s just all junk, but I still want to keep it.”

“Why don’t you just leave them?” Habiba suggested, twirling something around in her hand. “If you get evicted, we’ll take them to the Diary Room with the picture of Bitsey and Big Brother will pass them on.”

Callum nodded. There was no way he could open his case again. “Cheers, Habs,” he remarked before peering curiously again at what she had in her hand. “What you got there?”

“Oh, I’m just playing with some balls,” she explained a little ambiguously waving the clear shiny spheres at him. “Big Brother left behind these little crystal balls that were part of the decorations. They remind of the kind that Jareth had in the movie Labyrinth.”

Callum shook his head, still a little baffled. “I don’t know it, Habs. Can’t have seen it.”

“It’s got David Bowie in it,” she clarified. “And the Muppets. I love them so much.”

Callum squinted his eyes a little. “What like Kermit and Fozzy Bear, and that?” he asked. “You met them then?”

“Have I met The Muppets?” she gasped out wide eyed. “I know I’ve met some pretty big high flyers, but they are A plus list! I could only wish to meet stars of their calibre.”

“What’s this film about then?” he asked, instead of digging for more puppet stalking information.

“Well there’s this young girl who’s babysitting her little brother, and he’s being a pain so she wishes that he would just be taken away and she jokingly pretends to summon this Goblin King, only it works!” she started to say. “He takes the baby to this castle, but the sister instantly regrets it and wants him back.”

“So this Goblin King is Bowie?” he enquired, trying to follow along.

“Oh yeah, proper charming and charismatic evil! He says that she can have the baby back but she’s got to make her way through the labyrinth in his kingdom to get to the castle, and she has to get there before time runs out. He manipulates everything though, and plants tricks along the way, anything to stop her from getting what she wants.”

Callum played with the zip on the case. “So she don’t get the baby back then?” he stated. “She failed at getting what she wanted, just like he said she would? Where do the balls come in?”

“That’s his power, you see,” Habiba explained, circling them in her hand. “That’s how he tries to control the girl and everything around her. And she believes it. She thinks she’s got no control over what she can do and what she wants. Then at the end she remembers a line from a play she’s been rehearsing and it all disappears, everything from that awful, fake, confining world just falls apart like an illusion and she gets what she wants.”

“What was the line?” Callum asked.

Habiba took a deep breath, and turned to face him with sincere eyes. “You have no power over me,” she said. “It was as simple as that. All she had to do was believe in herself, in her own power and her own desires and it meant that no one could control her. Do you want a ball?”

She stretched out her hand and passed the crystal sphere over to Callum. He rolled it around in his hand briefly before he placed it carefully in the rim of the Stetson. “Wait, is that the film where Bowie wears those really tight trousers?”

Habiba shook her head. “Oh, Callum,” she said, standing up. “That would be the only part of the film you remembered, wouldn’t it?”

“Thank Christ for that!” Kat exclaimed when the lock on the bedroom door finally turned green, signalling it was open. “The stench in here is unbearable. I need some air.”

Big Brother had locked all the housemates in the bedroom as they were getting ready. Ben didn’t make an effort this week, staying in the same outfit he had all day. Even when Dotty suggested that it could be a surprise eviction and he might be thrown out in his slippers, it still didn’t persuade him to change.

Now though, the fake crowd noise was playing and they had finally been allowed out the bedroom. As they walked into the main section of the house though, they all looked curiously at the new addition to the décor in the corner.

_“This is Big Brother. Would all housemates please gather on the sofas immediately.”_

They looked at each other, but clearly no one had any idea. It was still a little early for the eviction, and being ordered to the sofas was never a god sign.

Callum went to take a seat next to Habiba, looking over at the large glass case that had been installed. He fiddled with the edge of his grey jacket nervously, just sitting on the couch was raising his anxiety about the eviction.

_“Housemates, as a punishment for Ben’s rule break in the week, you were all placed up for eviction. As Ben had already won immunity from eviction this week, he could not be included in this sanction. Ben, as punishment for your rule break, you will be sent to jail until further notice. As the garden is closed during the eviction, Big Brother has moved the jail inside. Ben would you please go there immediately, closing the door behind you.”_

All of the housemates scurried off the sofas to examine the transparent container. “It looks like a sideways fish tank without water in,” Vinney said, stepping in the booth and closing the door. He continued to speak, but no sound came out.

“We can’t hear you!” Kat shouted, pointing to her ear. “It’s soundproof!”

Vinney stepped out of the box. “Guys, I think it’s soundproof,” he said. “They’ve got a speaker in there playing in the crowd noise though. If you’re in there, then nobody will hear you.”

“Shame we can’t shove Dotty in there for the rest of her stay then, ain’t it?” Ben said, making his way through. “Well, I’ll see you on the other side, ladies and gents!”

There was the briefest moment of eye contact between him and Ben before Big Brother ordered them back to the sofas. Just the quickest second and then it was over. He wanted more.

It was another five minutes before the familiar voice came over the speaker, and Callum had to force out a large breath as his lungs felt like they were expanding in his tightening chest. He held securely onto Habiba’s hand on one side of him, and Kat’s the other. They were the only things stopping his fingers from shaking. He could feel it everywhere else though. His stomach had twisted itself inside out and was trying to bang its way out of his body.

_“Big Brother house, you are live, please do not swear! Callum, Dotty, Habiba, Kat, Kush and Vinney. All week the public have been voting, the results have been counted and verified and I can now reveal that the fourth housemate to leave the Big Brother house is…”_

It was quite possible that he was going to be sick. He wasn’t sure how Ben had been through this three times in a row and seemed so comparatively calm. The thought led him to look over to the box, where Ben sat on the floor with his head against the side, looking up at the speaker. He looked so alone.

The seconds seemed to tick so slowly, just like they had all week with no reprieve.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

_“Callum!”_

He almost thought he’d misheard at first, that it was expected to hear your name no matter who they said. But as Habiba and Kat started to hug him and stoke his face, and Kush came over to clap him consolingly on the back, he knew it must be him.

It wasn’t as though he was arrogant enough to believe he couldn’t go. Certainly some of his actions that week warranted this happening, and he could understand why he would have been voted out. It was just surreal to actually hear it, and it took him a moment to focus.

_“Callum you have been evicted from the Big Brother house! Please say your goodbyes, I’m coming to get you!”_

Vinney came over and gave him a hug as well, even Dotty sauntered round to give him a kiss on the cheek. She did it with a large grin on her face, but it was more than he would have expected. The sound of the artificial crowd was just spinning his head; he’d hear the real one soon enough, but another noise crept in too. There was a faint knocking.

Looking over to the source of the noise, he could see Ben banging on the glass with all his might. They must have played the announcement in over the speaker in his booth, but even if they hadn’t it was clear what the result was. He looked fraught, and was mouthing something insistently through the glass as he kept whacking his hands repeatedly against it.

_“Callum, you have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house. Callum, you have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house.”_

He shook off the hands still hugging and saying goodbye, and walked slowly towards the booth. They must have made it sturdy because it barely wobbled despite Ben trying to knock the door open. He stopped when Callum came up, mouthing words quickly, and then resumed to try and hit his way out.

“I can’t hear you!” he said quietly, the sob in his throat building as he saw Ben’s eyes. The cruelty in them had disappeared, and now they were just sorrowful, escaping droplets they couldn’t afford to lose. “I can’t hear you!”

_“Callum, you have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house. Callum, you have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house.”_

“I have to go,” he mouthed through the glass, as Ben finally gave up trying to hit his way out. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of it. You know.”

Ben nodded his head in defeat, before resting it against the glass.

_“Callum, you have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house. Callum, you have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother house.”_

It were like his feet were cemented to the spot though, and he leaned down and rested his head against Ben’s, lining their fingers up so the tips were together. The glass didn’t matter. They could be in different worlds and it still wouldn’t be enough to keep them apart.

“Mate,” Kush said quietly, tapping at his arm. “Come on. We’ll look after him, yeah?”

Callum let himself be led away, all those many hands on him, grabbing and squeezing when there was only one touch he wanted. As they neared the staircase, he remembered something and quickly pulled out of their clutches.

He ran back to the booth noticing Ben’s eyes widen at his reappearance. Out of his pocket, Callum pulled out a small metal item and placed it on the floor by the glass. As he started to back away slowly, he saw realisation hit Ben’s eyes when he noticed the thimble, and they smiled sadly at him.

That was the last time he saw him in the house. Big Brother was still playing the same announcement over and over again, and it was finally time to go. It was finally time to leave this place that had got under his skin and tried to pull away all his power. Or was it trying to give it to him?

Callum jogged his way up the staircase, being careful not to slip on the stairs, although that would be a novel way to stay in the house. He could hear everyone shouting their goodbyes, but it all blurred into one as his heartbeat pounded loudly in his ears.

Standing in front of the doors, he took one final breath before they opened with a whoosh of air in front on him.

After a month, Callum finally left the Big Brother house, unsure what or who he would find on the outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
> 
> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx


	14. Evicted

Callum blinked quickly, the fresh air hitting his eyes, almost blurring them a little, as he heard the doors slide closed behind him.

He almost shut his eyes again, worried the worry and stress had blurred his view. He was terrified about the crowd; it had been bad enough going in. At least then he could justify it any reaction he received and play it off. They didn’t know him, they had just seen a small few clips which meant nothing ultimately. The crowd was always fickle on launch nights, they would just boo or cheer randomly sometimes, perhaps even just a slight ambivalent murmur to welcome a new housemate.

It was different when you were evicted though. They had been watching you and knew you, or at least they thought they thought they did. They saw what they wanted to see, heard what they wanted to hear and believed what they wanted to believe.

And that was just for starters. Who knew what had been shown, and what hadn’t? That would make a difference. The absence of something is sometimes just as important as the existence of it. There could have been vital, important moments that Big Brother had just failed to show, ones that actually captured his personality rather just moulded it into what they wanted it to become.

If he was honest, he was expecting boos. Especially the way he had treated Ben the past week. He’d shouted at him, teased him, led him on, attacked him, made him look bad and let him get punished by being put in a booth. Callum hadn’t said anything, even though he was there for the rule break. It must have been awful, to be so isolated anyway, and then trapped away even further. You couldn’t get more alone.

Of course, Callum hoped he would receive cheers. Everyone wanted to be liked. Everyone wanted to be wanted, even if it made him a little embarrassed to think so. What he hadn’t expected though, was the reaction he did get. Silence.

There was no one there, not a soul. There wasn’t even the bubbly presenter running up to him to stick a microphone in his face. Callum didn’t understand, couldn’t make any sense of it. Where was everyone?

There was a touch at his elbow, and a strange face appeared. It didn’t say anything, just put its finger to its lips and pointed towards a door to his left. Callum didn’t move at first, couldn’t move, but his impulse took over when the face continued to point.

Callum was still tentative as he pushed open the door, still worried at what he might find, but as he got further into the room and looked around, it began to make a little bit more sense. More of his worry dropped away, and he smiled when he saw some familiar faces.

“What are you doing here?” he said, walking up to Pebbles and Pixar, perched on an old wooden coffee table. It was them, he’d know they anywhere, especially as the last time he’d seen them they hadn’t been in the best condition. Big Brother has patched them up the best they could, but there were scars.

They seemed to fit the rest of the room though. It looked like his Grandad’s old attic, shelves and shelves of junk and knickknacks everywhere, with no order or theme too them, a total contrast to the strict theme of the house and garden. There were bits of pink flowery wallpaper hanging off, and he couldn’t help but notice some items from the past tasks; the button, the eighties headphones, some of the Christmas jumpers to name just a few. There were cuddly toys and cushions, music boxes and old costume jewellery, and posters he wouldn’t even begin to recognise.

On the table by the bed, there was a large red envelope with his name on it. Sitting on the bed, Callum didn’t waste time in ripping it open, eager to know exactly what he was doing in here.

_“Callum, you have been voted into the Loft by the public. For the next two days, you will be given the power to test the housemates, and reward them, and help Big Brother assess those that would make the best finalists. We are into the second half of the show, and everyone will have to fight to stay in the house.”_

Everything was flowing over him like a whirlwind, and he felt so unsure in the pit of his stomach. Callum adrenaline was still heightened from the eviction, from trying to prepare himself for sitting in a chair and dissecting a month of his life in front of perfect strangers. Then he would have to go to interview after interview. It would be his worst nightmare. Though in his head, he knew that delaying it may be even worse, at least it wasn’t today. He didn’t have to think about it today.

There was a ringing in the room, and Callum wandered for a moment trying to look for a phone. He spotted a strange item on one of the shelves, that he recognised from old films. He lifted up a small trumpet shaped metal piece and held it to his ear, before leaning forward gently and speaking into the other end. “Hello?”

_“Good Evening, Callum. Big Brother hopes you enjoy your stay in the loft. Your dinner will be delivered into the hatch shortly.”_

Callum put down the phone, and went to the hatch in the corner. He pulled it up and his stomach growled at the smell that wafted out. He felt like a kid having a huge chocolate bar put in front of their eyes after spending weeks watching your mates gorge themselves on bars of creamy, rich, milk goodness that melted on your tongue. It was as if someone suddenly someone handed him a bar, with a glistening silver wrapper that was torn off quickly. Not only was there the bitter, buttery, fudgy chocolate that would snap with a spark when he broke off a piece, but there was also a glittered golden ticket. His pass to another world. He used to dream about that when he was younger. He used to dream about a lot of things.

It wasn’t chocolate that Big Brother had delivered though. Instead, it was tupperware containers of Chinese food. This he had been craving. This he would have done anything for. Taking the boxes out the hatch, he carefully balanced them in his arms, resting his chin on the top one before he scurried over to the counter.

In the corner of the Loft was a kitchen. At least that’s what he thought it was meant to be. There was a white fridge, battered with marks, with a handle seemingly hanging off, and paint stains down the front. When he opened it though, it was pristine inside, sparkling clean and filled with drinks.

Grabbing a beer from the six pack, he pulled the ring with a crackle and set it down on an old flowery tray he found. Next to it was plate, the sort you only even saw in your Great Aunt’s house, some country scene depicted around it’s petaled edge.

Callum started to open the tupperware one by one. The sweet and sticky smell of juicy, oily, reddened pork ribs almost made him drool, the barbeque sauce dripping off them as the tender meat struggled to cling to the bone. He greedily picked out some and put them on the plate, licking his fingers as he went. He put the box with the smoked chicken to the side for now, and opened the lid of the next container.

Next, he spooned on some sweet and sour pork, the glazed vegetables sparkling on the plate as the viscous sauce glowed neon orange as it spread around the surface. The battered meat looked so tempting, calling out to be sampled and savoured. Finally, he piled on a nest of chow mein, sliding it out of the box and sitting it high on the plate. Throwing a few crunchy prawn crackers on the side, he happily took it all over to an old tattered green arm chair that had a tobacco stained lace doily on the headrest, and snuggled down into the cushion.

Just as he started gnawing on a rib, the almond shaped screen in front of him started to blink. He couldn’t make it out at first; just a snapshot, like a photograph that barely made it through his eyes to his brain, the picture disappearing before he had a chance to process it.

It was dark again now though. He looked over to Pixar and Pebbles, checking whether they saw it to. To be fair, with the rock’s wonky eye and the camera’s shattered cone, anything could have happened and there was a strong chance they wouldn’t have noticed it.

As Callum tried to swirl some noodles onto his fork, the screen flashed again, for longer this time, and he immediately picked up on what he was seeing, so much so that his fork dropped onto a prawn cracker and cracked it in two.

Ben.

He was there. On the screen. Wearing exactly the same outfit and in the same glass booth as Callum had left him less than an hour earlier. He quickly put his tray down, and got down on the floor near the tv. He waited for a moment, squinting at it with his eyes as though he could will the image to return. It didn’t.

After a few minutes, the smell of the Chinese and the rumble of his stomach called him back, and he sat in the chair and finished off his meal, setting down some of the smashed prawn cracker in front of Pebbles and Pixar. It seemed appropriate, and obviously polite. He had no one else to share with.

When he had eaten as much as he could, he cleaned away his tray, setting it on the side. He put the leftovers in the fridge, although unless Pixar doubled as a microwave, he wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to reheat it. Would Big Brother do it for him? That didn’t play into their dominant, omnipotent power; warming up a plate of noodles for one of their puppets.

As Callum was stacking his washed up plate and fork on the side, something glared with light out the corner of his eye. He clattered them both down when he realised it was the screen again, dashing over to the television as fast as he could make it.

It was on Vinney this time, sitting on the sofa, his headphones securely around his neck. He was talking, but Callum couldn’t hear him. His mouth was moving but he couldn’t make out the words. He gently tapped the tv with his finger, hoping that the camera would move away. He didn’t want to see anyone else, not right now. Only Ben.

The shot changed, and Callum held his breath for a second. It was a long angle, that covered most of the main part of the house. It looked huge on screen, so much bigger than it was when you were in there. The walls seemed further away, the ceiling seemed higher, and the light seemed more natural and open. You couldn’t see the stains on the carpet or the marks on the furniture. You certainly couldn’t get a waft of the stench that ten people living in a cramped space for 24 hours a day provided, especially with the added breeze of air con spreading it around. It almost looked like a different house. Is this what everyone else saw?

Callum squinted again, trying to aimlessly crane his neck, as if that would make the shot zoom in. He could make out a few people wandering around in the kitchen. He thought it was probably Kat and Habiba. Oh God. They would probably try to roast a watermelon.

There was movement in the corner where he knew the booth was, but it was just a blur. “Come, on!!” he pleaded with the television. “Come on!”

It didn’t work though. All he could do was sit and watch the distant figures, seeming further away than he could ever explain. He was just looking down on them, like the only human in space, spying down at a distant Earth. Alone among the stars.

Later that evening, Big Brother delivered his case, and he started to take a few items out, putting them into a distressed looking set of drawers. Callum knew he wasn’t going to be there for very long, but he was running out of things to do. The room was cramped with three of them in it, and he knew it wouldn’t be too long before the novelty of the situation wore off.

He was just folding his underwear, giving a large yawn and looking temptingly at the bed, when he saw another flicker. The screen had changed! It was just the back of a head. Callum would know that freakishly muscled neck anywhere; it was Kush. His hair was bobbing slightly so he must be talking to someone. He just wished he could hear.

Suddenly, Kush’s hair started to slide out of shot, and Callum could feel his heartbeat speed up and start thudding like a hammer into his collar bone, rattling his insides with trembles and vibrations. He knew, he just knew before he even appeared, but there he was on the screen. Ben.

He was still in the booth, slouched at the bottom resting his head on the glass. Kush was kneeling outside, Callum could see him now, gesticulating the way he always did when he was trying to council like a sage badger. Ben wasn’t looking at him though. He couldn’t hear Kush and he wasn’t trying to make out what was supposed to be comforting gestures through the glass. His eyes were just focused on something. The little metal thimble still placed on the other side of the box.

Callum brought his knees up and rested his chin on his arms, shuffling a little closer. His heart calmed a little now he saw Ben, the thumping sliding down to his stomach and bouncing around like a nectar-drunk bumble bee. There was just layer of glass, on top of glass, on top of glass between them, and Callum just didn’t know how to smash his way through all of them.

The screen cut away briefly, the shot switching in on the garden, focusing in on the hen house. It was all quiet surprisingly. Callum was sure that when no one was looking they were performing their Great Escape routine. He was sure that Glory was sitting on a suspicious amount of dirt when he went out there that afternoon.

Huffing impatiently at the screen didn’t seem to help, the camera just stayed on the hen house where all the chickens were tucked up and dreaming their evil schemes. It was forever until Big Brother cut back to the house, and when he saw the background change to the inside, Callum sat up straight. He noticed a blur in front of the camera, and then the shot changed again. He glared towards Pixar, hoping that he could get a message to the camera gods. Finally, he managed to see what was happening as Ben was storming towards the Diary Room, now clearly out the booth. It was unlocked quickly and he headed inside.

Callum lay back on the pattered rug with a groan. All that time for waiting, and he’d only seen him for a few seconds.

Closing his eyes, his brain began to drift off, floating away to the sky. He had been awake for a long time; it had been and exhausting day, and it must be really late by now, heading towards the early hours of the morning. Slowly, he could feel himself falling, everything else fading away.

That was until there was a ringing in his head. Sitting up, he groaned. The Chinese food had a soporific effect on his body, dragging the energy away. It was the weird looking phone again. Dragging himself up, Callum staggered over, picking up the mouthpiece and the ear piece, switching them around a few times before speaking. “Uh, hello?”

Perhaps he should have announced his name, but unless there was a very tenacious call centre worker that had patched through, he assumed it was Big Brother. He was right.

_“Good evening, Callum. Big Brother hopes you’re enjoying your stay so far in the loft. How are you finding it?”_

“To be honest, it’s a bit weird being on my own, apart from-“ he paused for a second. “Well, I guess I am on my own. It’s nice to see a little bit of everyone on the screen, but I wish I knew what was going on.”

_“Perhaps if you heard the other housemates you would have a better idea of what was going on in the other house.”_

“Yeah,” Callum said nodding his head. “I’d love to be able to hear them too.”

_“Callum, perhaps if you attempted to listen to the housemates, you would know what was going on a little more.”_

Scowling at the mouthpiece, he took the receiver away from his ear and cocked his head towards the screen. He still couldn’t hear anything.

“There ain’t nothing there, I’m telling you,” he insisted into the phone. “I’ve had a listen and everything.”

If Big Brother could sigh, then they would have at that moment, he felt in hindsight. _“Callum, are there any ear listening devices in the Loft that could possibly help?”_

Oh! The headphones! “Thanks, Big Brother!” he called out before putting down the phone. It wasn’t the most polite way to end the call, but he was too excited to wait any longer, even if the picture on screen was just Vinney cutting his toenails on the bed. Callum shuddered a little as the clippings flew over to the side he used to sleep in, but hurried to get the headphones from the shelf.

Unwinding the wire from the metal headset, he peered around the screen, finding an audio jack to slot in the metal end. He reversed back into the chair, making himself comfortable, before slipping them onto his head as the image snapped back to the kitchen.

“This washing up liquid isn’t getting the burnt bit off the pan,” he heard Habiba say, as she continued to squirt the container onto the baking tray. “I’ve used up three quarters of that bottle and it’s just coating it!”

“You’ve supposed to soak it and wipe it with a sponge, Habs!” Callum huffed at the TV, before turning to Pebbles. “That’s our last bottle! She’s wasted it by painting it on a tray that’s got half a packet of charcoaled fishfingers on it!”

“You gotta put water on it as well, Habs!” Kat laughed out, wiping down the side. “If Callum were here, he’d be having kittens at you doing that! He’d make that huffing face where it looks like he’s got a stick up his arse!”

“No, I wouldn’t!” he called back, before trying to relax his shoulders and sit back in a way that it looked like nothing was up his arse. “I’m just saying that it might be a good idea to save some of the Fairy so we don’t have to wash the plates in Kush’s shower cream again!”

“What do you think he’s doing now?” Habiba asked, spreading the washing up liquid around with a toothbrush. “Do you think he’s at some fancy party in London with loads of celebs around him?”

Kat stopped what she was doing. “Callum?” she asked with raised eyebrows. “Callum? The fella who thinks a good time is a bottle of larger and a Fondant Fancy? You think he’s sipping Prosecco with Katie Price and H from Steps, before getting his bum out for the paps?”

Callum glanced over to Pebbles and Pixar, who hadn’t even touched their shared beer. They weren’t that far off from the description. He wasn’t about to flash anyone, but he could feel a slight blush of his cheeks from the beer.

“Who’s getting their bum out?” Vinney said, coming into the kitchen, silently now he’d trimmed his clicky talons. “Go ahead ladies, don’t mind me if you want to get it on.”

Kat hit him with a tea towel. “Not us! Callum!” she clarified. “We were talking about what he’d be doing now, and Habs suggested he was out schmoozing the glitterati of North London.”

“He’ll be snuggled up with his lady, won’t he?” Vinney suggested, taking a hobnob out the tin. “That’s what I’d do. I bet he’s balls deep by now with a big grin on his face.”

“How can anyone be such a clear walking advert for Specsavers? You really are oblivious to things,” Habiba said with a shake of her head. “Kat, can I refreeze these leftover oven chips?”

As Vinney returned to the bedroom, Kat wandered over and started to run the tap on the baking tray, lowering her voice to a whisper. “I hope she weren’t there tonight. At least give the poor sod a bit of breathing time before he has to face the music.”

Callum pulled off the headphones, choosing to ignore the conversation that was happening on screen. It was time he went to bed anyway. For all he knew, he could have a busy day in the morning, and he needed to get some sleep. There were things that his mind didn’t want to focus on, things that had started to drift to the front of his brain when he thought he was being evicted. That wasn’t the case now though. He was still here, and he didn’t want to hear about it.

Instead, he went into the tiny bathroom that Big Brother had provided for him, took a quick shower and brushed his teeth. It would be quite nice to have a big double bed all to himself, even if it was covered in a bedspread that looked like it was last used by Grandma before she got devoured by the Big Bad Wolf.

Callum was just about to get under the covers when he glanced a look at the screen again. It was dark, just the greenish hue of night vision showing the details. The camera was on Ben, and he was just getting into bed. He must have returned from the Diary Room. Nothing was really clear enough to pick up on his expression, but he didn’t look happy. Callum could tell from the way he was holding his body. He could always just tell how he was feeling.

Before he could change his mind, Callum went to the bed and grabbed the duvet from mattress and a couple of pillows from the top, bringing them in front on the armchair and by the television screen. Ben was in bed now, laying on his side towards where Callum used to sleep, his fist gripping something tight towards his mouth.

Shuffling down to the ground, Callum plumped the pillows up and got into his makeshift bed. He lay down his head, and almost automatically Big Brother turned off the lights, as if they knew he would be able to shut his eyes now. His breathing slowed, and though he couldn’t hear any sound from the television, he’d heard Ben’s breathing for enough days, for enough minutes and enough seconds that he could replicate it in his head. He could imagine he could hear the sounds of him sleeping, and they felt vivid in his mind.

Just having enough energy to reach out his hand towards the screen, he felt his eyes lolling and let sleep wash over him.

** Day Twenty Nine **

When the light prized his eyes open the next day, Callum could be forgiven for thinking it was just a dream masquerading as life. There was always that time between sleep and awake, that place where reality and imagination danced together, where anything seemed possible. It took him a few seconds before he remembered where he was and why he was here.

Clearing the sleep from his throat, he sat up a little, wincing at the ache in his back. The multi-coloured rug wasn’t as comfortable as it looked, and it looked horrendous. He noticed that the screen was light as well, the sun beaming down onto the garden. Callum had no clue what time it was, but when he saw Ben enter the hen house he had an inkling. Fumbling round for the headphones, he quickly pulled them onto his head as Missy was getting an early morning cuddle.

“See, you can’t even tell where that dirty fox grabbed at you now,” Ben whispered to her on the screen. He fluffed the feathers of her chest a little. “You’ve still got a couple of scratches that don’t look too good. You can see them, but they’ll get better. They will, Miss. You’ll be out pulling cock before you know it.”

Callum pitied the rooster that ended up with Missy. She’d probably shag him and then break his neck with her chickeney thighs. Before the hen came into the Big Brother house, she probably left carcases up and down the south coast. Poor bastards who’d just tried to get their feathery whistle wet, and were now cluttered into thousands of buckets of popcorn chicken in every branch of KFC.

“Glory!” Ben shouted from the tv. “You ain’t fooling anyone! I can see you’re sitting on a mountain of dirt! You think I can’t see through your crossed legs? They’re the size of twigs. I only swept that out yesterday. You’re a chicken, not a rabbit, yeah?”

The little bird tried to look nonchalant as she spread her wing out a little to hide her crime, almost being knocked into by a charging Connie who was clucking wildly at Ben’s feet.

He put down Missy and picked up the protesting hen. “Come on,” he said, scooping her into his arms. She immediately dug her head into his dressing gown, as though she suspected he was hiding something in there. Ben opened the gate, shutting it securely behind him before Penny got the chance to ninja escape through the bars, and he headed towards the bench.

They just sat quietly for a few moments, Ben trying to shush the odd destressed cluck from the chicken. “He’s gone, yeah?” he whispered quietly. “Nothing we can do about it unless you and me want to make a bit of an escape. There’s no point you sitting there pining over him. He’ll be back to his life now and we’ll just seem like a distant memory.”

Callum shook his head. They didn’t. They wouldn’t.

“Now he’s outside, he’ll see things differently again,” Ben continued to mutter, as Connie closed her eyes in defeat. “It never would have worked anyway, you know? You’re too different, and let’s be frank, Con, probably a bit out of your league. I did find a mushed up worm on your toes the other day; you should probably consider upping your pulling technique, sweetheart.”

“Morning,” he heard a sleepy voice offscreen say. “How’d you sleep?”

Callum watched as Habiba made her way towards Ben, plonking herself down on the bench, shuffling away a little when Connie seemed to growl.

“As well as you could imagine,” Ben replied, offering the chicken a quick pet on the head to calm her, as if trying to explain that Habiba hadn’t smuggled Callum out of the house. “Not much worse than I normally do in here, to be honest. Gotta be up for the chickens anyway. This one’s feeling a bit heartbroken.”

Habiba’s eyes lit up. “Do you think there’s a dating app for chickens?” she mused, biting at her lip in thought. “I could make one! I would go on Dragon’s Den with it, but since those cease and desist letters from Theo Paphitis, they may be reluctant to have me on. I’m sure there must be other people I can go to. I watched that film about Mark Burgerzuck and it all worked out for him quite well.”

“A dating app for chickens?” Ben inquired, shaking his head. “Habs, they ain’t exactly able to look through phones very easily. Also, there ain’t gonna be much difference between each bird. You think some of them are going to be pushing their breasts together or spreading their drumsticks? You expecting some rooster to be showing off his big cock-a-doodle-doo?”

“Eww! No!” she retched back towards him. “It won’t be anything like that! It’ll nice and classy! Only sweet looking photos allowed. We can add a filter on that diggy weird one over there and give her bunny ears. Make a flaw into a positive!”

“When was the last time you went onto a dating site, Habs?” Ben asked, shaking his head.

The young woman next to him slumped her shoulders. “Well never, if you must know,” she replied honestly. “I’m an old fashioned girl! I like to meet the arseholes I date in person. That’s the way I’ve always done it.”

“Why not try a different way though?” he suggested. “Gives you more options.”

“Does it though?” she asked, fiddling with the ring on her finger. “It doesn’t seem like it gives many options at all. I don’t know, I’ve never done it, only heard through my friends, but it seems limiting in a different ways, depending on the site I choose. If I go for one where I flip through and find someone I hook up with for a night, that’s always going to be a disaster.”

“Why?” Ben asked. “You’re both honest about what you want and what you’re getting.”

Habiba scoffed at that. “Are you though? Say I find someone I really like the look of, and they turn up and manage to completely blow my mind, well I’m going to want a return ticket for that one, but they might want to stick to the original one-time situation. That’s best, best case scenario. The worst case is that I end up with some walrus groaning on top of me, honking out a moan every two seconds, blowing out his rubbish dump breath into my face as he’s trying to flop around his grotesque little pole cat into my precious parts! You cannot tell what someone’s breath is like on an app, Ben! Then when he’s left a snail trail on my five hundred thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, I’ve got to try and get him out the door before he starts rummaging through the fridge hoping for a round two when every punch he went for in round one missed me by miles!”

“Alright! Alright!” Ben said with a chuckle. Callum couldn’t help but smile as his face lit up a little. “Well, there ain’t just places for hook-ups. You can go for one of those sites where you’re looking for something a little more long term.”

Habbiba leaned back in frustration. “That’s even worse!” she almost screeched out. “You find a really good looking guy and spend hours chatting to him, talking about your families and how he single handily defeated the Nazis in the Civil war, how he rescues puppies in his spare time and goes to help the elderly with their gardens. He seems to really like you, and you meet up for a few dates, and he seems nice enough. There’s not a huge spark, but that can grow.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Ben asked. “Despite the fact that I think you’d get bored with some do-gooder in about five seconds.”

“Well its fine until you finally get to the bedroom,” Habiba sighed. “Then you put on something nice, get him going a bit for something special. Then he takes off his clothes and whips out his micro-penis! That’s when it goes horribly wrong!”

“That’s a bit sizeist, ain’t it?” Ben replied, laughing at the look of horror on Habiba’s face. Callum automatically reached down and adjusted his trousers a little. “If you like the fella, then it shouldn’t matter if all his todger can manage is popping up like those little noses in a game of Whack a Mole!”

“Oh please!” Habiba scoffed. “Don’t give me that! We all know you’re a size queen, Ben. That much is evidently clear! I’m a free thinker! I think it’s the quality, not the quantity. Frankly, for a lot of them when it’s a decent size, they think that’s enough and they don’t even have to try anything else. I’m not talking small though, Ben. I’m talking about micro! What do I even do with it? It’s not going in anything, is it? It would be like trying to put a muzzle on a pug. It’s little dinky nub is just going to slide straight out.”

“Sex ain’t everything,” Ben said with a shrug. “If the connection’s there, then that’s much harder to find.”

“Don’t even try to give me the ‘sex ain’t important’ line when I’ve been wandering around here for a month seriously concerned that I’m going to get my eye poked out if you two shared a three second glance! I asked Big Brother to get my optician on a retainer in case I had to have emergency treatment! I was almost hoping it would happen. A hand on the back of my head and a big instrument in my face would be the most action I’ve had for a while!”

Ben freed one arm from where he was holding a sleeping chicken and gave Habiba a consoling squeeze of the hand. “You’ll find someone, Habs,” he said quietly. Callum hoped he was right; she deserved to get what she wanted. “They’ll be queuing up when you get out of here.”

“But how will I know it’s for me?” she asked sadly. “For the real me? It’s the same on the outside, isn’t it? How many blokes have taken one look at my boobs and decided that’s the most appealing part of my personality? What if I never find that person who just likes me for me?”

“Then, at least you’ve never found that person and then lost them,” Ben said with a shrug back. “That’s a way to really break a heart, eh Connie?”

Habiba squeezed his hand back. Callum was glad they had each other in there. “Speaking of which, I promised I’d take all that junk from his table to the diary room,” she said with a sigh. “I wouldn’t have offered if I knew he was going to go. I don’t want some magazine to snip an image of me with that hat and post it on a billboard!”

“It’s not going anywhere,” Ben replied, so firmly that Callum was almost taken aback. He thought the bunny ears might cheer Pixar up. “It’s staying with me. If he wants it, then he can come and get it from me when we get out of here.”

“What about Winona’s picture?” Habiba asked with a grimace. “You don’t want that as well, do you? I should take that, shouldn’t I?”

Ben gave a shrug, his face dropping out of the lightness it had just moments earlier. “Why bother?” he replied petulantly. “He’s got the real thing right in front of him now, ain’t he? Leave it down the back of the bedside table.”

“Alright then,” Habiba conceded easily. “I didn’t much fancy shoving my arm behind there to try and find it. It’s probably where all the spiders hide, drawn in my Vinney’s pus-stenched toenail clippings that fly through the air like bullets. I’m sure he won’t miss it.”

Callum took his headphones off. He didn’t know what to think with that. It felt like a different path travelled. If it had been a real eviction, maybe he would be out there right now with Whitney. He didn’t even start to think what that conversation would be like.

After a few hours of watching Habiba and Kat try and make jacket potatoes, and somehow getting them to both burn and be undercooked, Callum removed the headphones. He thought he’d feel more voyeuristic watching people he knew, in a place he knew, when they had no clue he could see them. That didn’t happen though. It made him feel a part of something, even if he could only see what Big Brother wanted to show him. Even though he missed long parts of conversations, or couldn’t see everyone’s expressions at once. He had to admit it was addictive.

The phone rang shortly after, and he dashed across to answer it, hoping for something to do. “Hello?” he answered eagerly.

_“Good Morning, Callum. How was your first night in the Loft?”_

“It’s been alright, yeah. I’m missing everyone in the house, and just want to get back in really and be a part of it,” he explained.

_“Callum, when you entered the Loft we told you that you would be responsible for testing the housemates, seeing if they have the skills necessary to make it to the Big Brother final. Part of being in the house is being able to cope with the frustration and disappointment that task losses will bring. Shortly, Big Brother will give one housemate a task that is impossible to win. Callum, which two housemates would you like to assign this task?”_

Thinking it through, there was an obvious couple of names that cropped up. “I guess my first choice would be Dotty,” he said clearly. It was a no brainer. “She’s always having a go at the rest of us about not doing the tasks properly, so I’m going to choose her.”

Callum wasn’t sure when the point arrived where he now felt he needed to explain all his life choices out loud with reasons, but it seemed to be a common side-effect of living in the Big Brother house for any considerable amount of time.

“I’ll also include Vinney,” he said. There wasn’t really anyone else that he had a huge bone to pick in the house, and he actually quite liked the man, even if he did make weird sleep noises. “I don’t want to include any of the others as they were on the Green Team that had to spend all that time over the poor side of the house. So that only leaves Vin.”

There was silence for a moment. Were they needing to write it down like they were taking his curry order? _“Thank you, Callum. Big Brother will get back to you in due course.”_

It didn’t take long until all the housemates were called over to the sofa. Callum had rung Big Brother and asked whether they minded heating up his left over Chinese takeaway for him. He had popped it into the hatch, and then back it came ten minutes later, piping hot and ready to eat. He settled comfily on the armchair again, spooning some noodles into his mouth, the headphones safely nestled on his head. Callum had to admit that this life wasn’t so bad. He was being brought his favourite food, sitting in front of a never ending boxset that he could have a little control over.

It wouldn’t feel like this forever though. He knew that if he didn’t have assurance that he would be back in the house with other people he enjoyed the company of soon, the novelty of being along would quickly wear off. Sitting day after day in the same place, doing the same things; there was a deep loneliness in that. He had been there. It didn’t matter if there were other people with you. You didn’t always have to be alone to be lonely.

As all his housemates clambered onto the sofas, Callum continued to munch away at his food, tucking in joyfully. He knew he should feel guilty, especially when the afore mentioned potatoes were served up for breakfast in the house that morning with butter and jam, but it was too much of a treat to dismiss. He put his spoon down when he heard Big Brother’s voice belt into the lounge through his headphones.

_“Housemates, congratulations for surviving up until the halfway point of the show! As an acknowledgment of your success, Big Brother would like to reward you! You will be given the opportunity to gain yourselves some treats this weekend! The public has been voting for who they want to take part in each task.”_

“What’s the catch?” Kat asked suspiciously. “We gonna have to take a hot poker up the jacksy in order to get them?”

Ben gave a snort. “Dotty’s got this task nailed then!”

“Fuck off, Ben!”

_“Dotty and Vinney, in the garden is a bath full of baked beans. There is a gold baked bean hidden in the bath, you must find this in the time limit to earn the house some music and party food tonight. However, if more than a quarter of the beans are on the ground by the time the buzzer sounds, then you will lose this challenge. You must stay inside the bath for the duration of the task and there are outfits to wear in the storeroom.”_

“Why have the public chosen us?” Vinney exclaimed, clawing onto his headphones. He was clearly in two minds whether he should wear them into the bath, or take them off. “Do you think they hate us?”

Dotty tutted at him. “We were probably chosen because we were the only people doing the copier task properly the other day while the rest of them were flinging themselves into Christmas trees,” she said, glaring towards Ben. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”

Callum couldn’t help but laugh when the two housemates emerged into the garden in cropped wetsuits, goggles and snorkels. It seemed everyone else had the same reaction as he heard Kat’s cackle rattle above the rest.

They both clambered in the bath, slopped to the top with little round beans swimming in shiny orange sauce. When the buzzer went, they both started digging through, wading hesitantly through the viscous substance looking for the elusive golden bean.

When a thought hit his head, Callum turned towards Pixar. “There ain’t a gold bean in the bath, is there?” he smirked. He wasn’t sure if the camera nodded back or not, but he knew.

“Go on, Dotty,” Ben called out from the bench, as the young woman was knocking the food out the way with her hands to search. “Give the bean a good flick!”

With the snorkel in her mouth, it was impossible to answer, but the gesture she made with her bean juiced hand certainly spoke volumes.

Vinney spat his mouthpiece out for a second. “Well I ain’t going in too deep!” he said, gingerly just swirling the liquid. “It’s impossible to find one little bean. I don’t see the point of even trying.”

Kat gave another laugh. “I can’t think why you’re single,” she called out. “You’ve got a snorkel for a reason! Really get your head in there, don’t just nudge about a bit!”

The task went on for another hour, obviously with no success. Callum felt a thrill knowing and having some control over what was going on in the screen. He wasn’t sure whether to feel guilty about that or not. The power lingered over him delightfully now, but it could always show its other face.

Finally, the buzzer went, signalling the end of the task. _“Dotty and Vinney, that was a valiant effort but unfortunately you did not find the golden bean in time. Dotty, could you please open the zip on the pocket of your wetsuit.”_

The woman spat out her snorkel before clambering out the bath. “What zip? What pocket?” she angrily asked, slapping away the tomato sauce that covered her. “Wait, do you mean this tiny thing on my thigh?”

Opening up the zip, she reached inside, pulling out a small golden bean. “It was there the whole time?!” she exclaimed furiously. “That’s not fair!”

“Well they did say it would be hidden inside the bath during the challenge, and it was hidden inside the bath!” Kush said, earning himself a golden bean lobbed at his head. “Just playing devil’s advocate!”

As both housemates squelched inside, Callum gave a smile. This was actually quite fun.

While he was watching Vinney complain that bean juice was still dripping out his ear, the phone rang again and he happily hurried to get it. “Hi Big Brother!” he answered cheerfully.

_“Good Afternoon, Callum. Big Brother has another few choices for you to make. Showmances are historically a notorious part of any reality show, and the commitment to this can often be the downfall of many a contestant. Which two housemates would you want to send on an overnight date in the task room?”_

“Oh,” he said, surprised at the question. It wasn’t something he had ever given much thought about. He could send Ben and Habiba in, maybe it would be a nice slap-up dinner for them both. He wasn’t quite sure if Vinney and Dotty would appreciate the alone time, well at least Dotty probably wouldn’t. There was really only one option. “Can I have Kat and Kush, please?”

It was risky, and he couldn’t in all certainty know how it would turn out, but it surely couldn’t be any worse than the atmosphere between them was now. From what he had been watching, it hadn’t changed from the icy interactions that were going on when he was still in the house. Callum hoped that maybe they would have a good conversation, try to forgive and forget, and while not be best friends, at least be civil and converse in the house. The worst case scenario would be that they have a flaming argument that leads to one of them being forcibly removed from the house.

_“Callum, later today Big Brother will call a housemate to the Diary Room. We will play this visit to your through the loft screen. The housemate will be told that the public have sent in some questions for them, as its important for all housemates who want to become finalists to be honest and open. Callum, it will be you who is actually asking the questions. Which housemate would you like to choose?”_

The name fell from his lips before his brain could even wind up into action. “Ben,” he said clearly and loudly through the speaker. “I choose Ben.”

_“Callum, your questions must not contain any information that would let Ben know about the loft or the fact you have not been evicted. What three questions would you like Big Brother to ask Ben on your behalf?”_

Ah. He hadn’t actually considered what the questions could be. All those weeks and he had questions swimming around his head that he was bursting to ask, and now they were all gone. They had disappeared from his mind.

“Alright,” he said, his brain apparently sleeping and unable to even think of anything. “The first question would be ‘What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?’”

_“Thank you, Callum. What is your second question?”_

He really wanted to know what Ben thought of him; what he really felt. But he couldn’t ask anything like that. “Ask him what his ideal person would be like,” he said, though his heart wasn’t really in the question.

_“Finally Callum, what is your third question?”_

Closing his eyes, Callum tried to kick his brain into gear. He never understood why it let him down when he needed it the most. There was a little spark of an idea though, one that was risky, but could work. “Can I give him the football scores? Not the real ones of course, but some made up ones? I just think it’ll be a laugh. Throw him off the scent that its me asking the questions.”

There was a pause. He wondered if Big Brother had to flip through their own rule book. _“Callum, it is acceptable to provide Ben with fake football scores as this is not information from the outside world. However, just giving him the scores is not a question.”_

Callum knew what to do now though and he nodded into the receiver with a smile. “Okay, I’ve got my third question. Ready?”

Callum was starting to get hungry again. He’d already demolished a few packets of crisps, but he wondered if Big Brother was going to send through a proper meal. It felt a bit rude to ask, and if the worst came to the worst, he always had the prawn crackers. He was keeping one eye on the screen as he washed up from his lunch, hoping to give Big Brother a meal time clue if they were watching.

Kat and Kush hadn’t left for their date yet, and he wasn’t sure they had been told. When he had to go to the toilet, he went as quickly as he could in case he missed something, still doing up his belt and not drying his hands after he washed them so he could return quickly. Ben also hadn’t been called to the diary room yet, and that was the one that he was really eager to see.

When he finished drying his plate, the phone rang again. He really hoped it was food. “Hi Big Brother!”

_“Good Evening Callum. To reach a final, housemates have to be willing to work for their reward. For your last decision today, Big Brother would like you to treat a housemate of your choice. They will be called into the diary room and be given a reward of your choosing. Who would you like to choose?”_

“Can I have Habs, please?” he asked. He wanted to choose Ben again, he really did but he also hadn’t chosen Habiba yet, and he knew she needed a pick me up. “I don’t really know what to get her. Maybe some of that fancy spa toiletry stuff she likes? I think she’ll enjoy that.”

_“Thank you, Callum. Finally, what would you like for dinner this evening.”_

He was almost a little stunned at the question, almost feeling like it was a trap in some way. His rumbling belly took over though, thinking about what he had been craving for the past few days. “Can I have a Big Mac please?” he asked, and when there was no response he took it as instinct that it was accepted and they were waiting for more. “Actually, can you make it a meal? A large one. And throw in twenty nuggets as well. Oh, and a McFlurry please. Any one, I’m not fussy. But if it’s caramel it would be even better.”

 _“Big Brother will get back to you, Callum,”_ they replied, before the tone beeped through signalling they had hung up. He hoped they didn’t bring an Oreo Mcflurry.

Less than an hour later, Big Brother called to let him know that the hatch was unlocked, and his eyes almost burst out of his head when he opened it up to see all the food he requested was right before his eyes. Pushing down the instinct to jump up and down, he took it over to the kitchen and piled as much on his plate as he could, putting the McFlurry in the fridge, before settling down in his usual armchair with his tray.

When he looked up at the screen, he saw the familiar space of the diary room staring back at him. He put the tray on the floor, scurrying nearer, so he was almost nose to nose when Ben entered the room.

_“Good Evening, Ben. How are you this evening?”_

Ben slouched in the chair, one arm and leg hanging over the side, as he gave a roll of his eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to-“

The sound cut out. Callum could see his lips moving, but it was just like in the booth. He couldn’t hear what he was saying. It only lasted a few seconds though, and then it was back.

_“Ben, the public have been sending in some questions for you to answer. If you give honest and frank responses, then the house will be rewarded with some alcohol this evening.”_

That made Ben sit up a little, when Callum could see the clear sigh when Big Brother had first mentioned questions.

“Alright then,” he said with a nod. “Do your worst.”

_“Ben, what is the worst thing you’ve ever done?”_

“Wow, this audience don’t pack it’s punches, do they?” he said with a wry laugh. “Who set these questions? Dotty’s fan club? Well, you know what-“

The sound cut out again, and Callum could have growled with frustration. Instead he chose to chew on a nugget.

“What’s going on Big Brother?” he shouted to the ceiling, before remembering to lower his voice. He did give the television a little tap though. “You said I could have my questions!”

Quickly, it returned again. “Apart from that, I don’t know,” Ben said with a shrug. “I’ve done lot I ain’t exactly proud to shout from the rooftops. Lying though. Lying to the people you care about, that digs a nail into your gut in a way nothing else can.”

_“Thank you, Ben. You next question is ‘What is your ideal person like?’”_

That elicited a laugh. “My ideal person? Fuck me!” he responded, his eyes squinted in thought. “I think that’s the wrong question though. It don’t matter who my ideal bloke is, it matters if I’m their ideal man. Just because you fall for someone and think the sun shines out of their very squeezable arse, it don’t mean shit if they don’t even know you exist. Or even worse, if they acknowledge your existence, take a good look and then walk away. So yeah, the answer, the honest answer, is that it don’t matter. I ain’t gonna be good enough for them.”

Callum wanted them to keep going, keep prompting him for more, but Big Brother didn’t. _“Thank you, Ben. Your final question is ‘Can you tell Kush the following football scores: Man United 0, Liverpool 8, then Chelsea 1, QPR 0, and finally Leeds 8 and Brighton 3?”_

Ben looked at the screen confused, as Callum bit his lip with nerves and excitement. He didn’t know if it would work. “What? One of the questions from the public to me was if I could let Kush know who’s going down the league table?”

_“Ben, you haven’t answered the question yet.”_

He still sat there with his mouth open, and Callum could tell his mind was going into gear. He could tell he was thinking and trying to figure out the catch. “The question was if I’d pass the football results onto Kush?” he clarified, shaking his head in disbelief. “Yeah, alright, I guess so. Giv’us them again, then.”

Big Brother repeated the whole question, and Ben gave a suspicious nod before leaving the diary room. Callum tapped at the screen again, wanting the camera to follow him so he could see what would happen next.

Ben entered the main house, sweeping his hair slightly in one of the mirrors on the wall as he made his way back into the lounge.

“You alright, mate?” Kush asked. “You were in there for a bit. What rule you broken this time?”

“Nah, it weren’t anything like that,” Ben replied, chewing his lip. “Apparently the public had three questions to ask me.”

Kush sat up at that, any mention of the outside world was like crack in the house. They had spent so long in the same space with the same people, that even a sniff of something from the real world felt exciting. “Oh yeah?” he asked. “You get anything a bit kinky or weird?”

“Unfortunately not kinky, but definitely weird,” he replied. “They wanted me to let you know what the football scores were.”

Kush frowned, and looked at Ben like he must have made a mistake. “Football scores? The season ain’t started yet, mate.”

“That’s what they said,” Ben said, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “Maybe it’s friendlies or something? All they said was to tell you Man United 0, Liverpool 8, Chelsea 1, QPR 0, and Leeds 8, Brighton 3.”

“That don’t make any sense! I know all the friendly fixtures, and that ain’t them,” Kush explained, scratching his head. “Also, QPR? What’s that about? Someone’s been having you on, mate. They’ll know you not got a clue about football. Remember that chat we had?”

Ben didn’t respond though. He was too busy muttering. “Man United, 0, Liverpool 8, Chelsea 1, QPR 0, Leeds 8, Brighton 3,” he said, over and over again, and Callum ate another nugget to calm his nerves.

He could tell the moment though. He spotted the very second that Ben figured it out. His eyes became wide, his mouth started to beam into a smile and he jumped up with a clap that startled Kush. “Yeah, I remember,” he said, before making his way out to the hens.

Callum didn’t get the opportunity to see anymore of his reaction though, as the camera switched back to the Diary Room. He was so focused on Ben that he didn’t even hear Habiba being called to sit in the chair.

In front of her, was exactly the same food as Callum had ordered, and he had an idea what was going to happen here.

_“Good evening, Habiba. Big Brother would like to offer you the chance of a pampering evening for you and your fellow housemates.”_

She clapped her hands excitedly. “Yes please!” she said sitting up in her seat. “I can’t bear to have another evening of watching someone trying to gnaw off their toenails because they’ve lost the scissors. What do I have to do?”

_“Habiba, in front of you is a fast food meal. In order to receive your reward, you must eat it all before you leave the diary room.”_

Looking at the meal in front of her, Habiba looked back up in disbelief at Big Brother. “Is that it?” she asked. “You think I can’t eat a burger and a few nuggets easily? I once had one of everything on the menu with just two Sugababes to help me eat it, and we didn’t even leave one of those tiny skanky fries with the black bits on! This is nothing!”

It turns out she wasn’t lying, as she merrily made her way through the whole meal, licking her fingers when she was done. “There, every little tiny grain of salt gone. Can I have my waxing strips now?”

When Habiba left the Diary Room, Ben came behind her giving her a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. “Who’s slipped you a happy pill?” she said, laughing in confusion. “I thought you and the chicken were going to lock yourselves in the Snug this morning and weep your way to the final.”

“I’m allowed to be happy, ain’t I?” Ben replied, as Big Brother announced that all housemates should go to the sofas. “I can give my mate a hug, can’t I?”

“You were moping around here last night like you were going to go all Ophelia in the swimming pool,” Dotty muttered. “You’ve got to admit, it’s a bit weird to have you suddenly smiling away. It ain’t far off serial killer behaviour.”

“Yeah well, enough about your small circle of friends,” Ben said dropping down onto the sofa. “I’m ready for my booze! Come on Big Brother! We’re going to have a little party tonight!”

Kat looked at him like he’d grown two heads. “You ain’t been sampling the medicine that they gave you to give that sick chicken, have you?” she asked.

_“This is Big Brother. Dotty and Vinney, unfortunately you didn’t pass your task this morning and therefore did not win music and party food for the house. Ben, you successfully passed your task and have won some bottles of Prosecco for all the housemates to share. Habiba, you successfully passed your task and won a pampering set for all your housemates. These are now available for you to collect from the storeroom.”_

Callum heard a thud. Slipping off his headphones, he wandered in the direction of the sound. He creeped slowly towards the hatch, lifting it up with care. Inside, there was a large bottle of prosecco and a box.

Carrying them over to the chair, Callum pulled the headphones on again so he could hear the house. He was just in time to listen to Big Brother’s next announcement.

_“Kat and Kush, you will have the opportunity to win all the housemates a champagne breakfast in the morning. Would you please make your way to the task room.”_

Both housemates looked confused, and Callum was still wondering if he made the right decision as he opened up the small brown box he found. He ignored Kat’s grumbling and Kush’s continual throat clearing in his ears, as he opened up a pot that was labelled as a face mask. Callum put a little on his finger and gave it a sniff. It smelled of salad. Leaning over, he put a little on Pebbles cheeks, before worrying that the substance might make her disintegrate.

Carrying the little rock carefully into the bathroom, he gave her a little wash, before cleaning his own hands. As he was drying them, he craned his neck to look at the screen in the other room, quickly dropping the towel and rushing through when he spotted that Kat and Kush were now in the task room.

If Callum had to describe it, the room was a cross between murderer’s lair and haunted country house. There was a large four poster bed in the room that was dimly lit with perhaps fifty candles, fluttering and blinking away to create atmosphere.

They both stood awkwardly in the centre of the room, before eventually Kush signalled the table that was laden with food and wine.

“Well, we may as well eat,” he said, as they both took a seat, and Callum cracked open his bottle of Prosecco. “If all we have to do to get a fancy breakfast is stuff our faces then I’m well up for that.”

Kat nodded then broke out into a smile almost despite herself. “Yeah, I’m not sure the jam jackets went down too well this morning, did they?” she said with a small chuckle, as Callum gulped back a large sip from the bottle. “I thought Ben was gonna hurl one at me. Good job he never! They were hard as rocks on the outside!

“He’s just moody about Callum,” Kush explained pouring them both a large glass of wine. “I can understand that. He’s broken, ain’t he?”

It was perhaps one of those moments of coincidence, but the screen cut back to the lounge where Ben was laughing his head off. They had opened the prosecco and watching as Habiba was painting the face mask onto Vinney.

“There ain’t nothing wrong with my skin!” he shouted out trying to push Habiba away. “Ben ain’t having it on, and if Callum were here he wouldn’t either!”

Callum stopped rubbing the cream onto his face, before giving a shrug, continuing and downing some more sparkling wine. He didn’t care tonight; tomorrow he would be back in the house.

A few minutes later, or perhaps longer, time was becoming a little fuzzy, the camera snapped back to Kat and Kush. They were laughing more now, their body language relaxed and they were knocking back their wine between bites of their fillet steak.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, yeah?” Kat said, opening the second bottle and pouring some into both their glasses. “I just thought we was on the same page.”

“Let’s not talk about this now, eh?” Kush said, with a little sigh before knocking back his glass. Callum raised his bottle towards the screen and downed some more of his own. HE didn’t understand why he didn’t drink this every night. His head felt so light, and everything was good. He had made good decisions today. He could cope with power. In fact, he was fucking fantastic with it. That deserved another sip. Or gulp.

The screen cut back to the lounge, and it felt strange to see Dotty and Vinney laughing along with Ben and Habiba. They were all in their face masks now, even Ben had a line of it smeared down his nose. Callum thought about how he looked cuter than a thousand pairs of bunny ears.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dotty asked Ben, sipping at her drink. “That Habs is going to have the Micro Magicians meet her on the way out?”

“Ignore him!” Habiba said, as Ben cackled with laughter. “I was just talking about how I like a man to be endowed to a certain extent!”

“Yeah, but it don’t matter if you really like him, does it?” Ben said, laying back on the sofa. “You’d get over it for him! No one’s perfect, are they? Or whatever we fuck our brains up into thinking is perfect. They might be-“

“Married?” Dotty offered.

Ben pointed his finger at her. “I’m gonna let that slide because I quite like your miserable commentary tonight! What I’m saying though Habs, is that he can have the dick the size of a hedgehog and more shrubbery down there than Epping Forrest, but if you fancy the pants off him, you’ll find a way around it! It can curve to the right, bend to the left or be so big that the only thing it will ever fit into is a haulage truck! It don’t matter in the end!

“What is up with you this evening?” Habiba commented. “Any other night you’d be saying ‘If he doesn’t have a decent, thick cock, Habs, then I’ll just leave him out in the middle of nowhere with his jeans round his ankles. It’s his own fault for trying to get with me without being upfront with the goods.’ Now you sound like you’re vomiting out Hallmark cards!”

“Don’t worry, Habs,” Dotty said. “It’s all talk. He’d soon change his tune if you-know-who has a tiny mouse dick.”

Ben grinned back at her. “He don’t.”

“That’s just all the tweety birds and cupid’s arrows flying around your head that are talking,” she replied. “You never really know.”

“Oh, I know,” Ben replied, smirking into his drink.

Callum took another swig from the bottle in frustration when the camera cut back to the task room. He squinted one eye closed so he could focus on the screen, though he couldn’t see Kat and Kush at the table. He could hear them through the headphones though. Oh God.

Callum covered his eyes when he noticed the movement under the covers in the background of the screen. “No, No!” he said, as the bubbles hit the back of his throat. He fell to his knees and scrambled towards the screen, using his hand to cover the four poster bed. “Please turn it back, Big Brother. I didn’t mean to get them to shag! That weren’t in the plan!”

There wasn’t anything he could do though, his hand could cover most of it, although Kush’s foot was still sticking out. The sounds though. He couldn’t get rid of the sounds. He turned to Pixar for help, who looked at the almost empty bottle of prosecco and then back at Callum, cocking his head questioningly.

“Oh yeah, right!” he said, ripping the headphones from his head and throwing them somewhere on the floor. “I’m glad I’ve got you here.”

Callum crawled towards the screen, as Ben appeared back in view. He had gone into the bedroom now, sitting on the edge of the bed playing with the thimble. Tracing his finger around the screen, Callum let his hand fall on Ben’s cheek, stroking it gently. It wasn’t the same. “I miss him,” he whispered. “I just want to be with him. It’s not fair.”

There was no response, not from the room or from the screen as Ben lay down on the bed, still twirling the thimble in his fingers. Callum reached out to touch him again, running his thumb all the way down his legs. “Why can’t he be here?” he asked Pixar. “Why can’t Big Brother bring him in here? Tell them they should bring him here to me.”

Callum was being ignored again by everyone, and it sent his blood flying through his body but it was forgotten when Ben started to get changed.

He wished his eyes could focus more, but it was enough. It was enough when Ben took off his shirt and tossed it aside, it was enough when he undid his belt and the zip of his jeans. Callum could hear the sounds in his head. He knew them better than sights. He always used to turn away in the house, but those two sounds were almost worse. His imagination was almost worse. Only it wasn’t, and now being able to look, to watch and to gaze without knowledge felt like he was being bad. He felt truly wicked. And he liked it.

Callum clambered up, as the room rocked itself in a harsh swerve to the left. He wondered why Big Brother had suddenly moved the house to a rocky ferry. They made the floor swirl in circles. They could do that. They could do anything. They could move whole worlds. Not his though. They wouldn’t let them move his. He pointed at one of the cameras in the corner of the room. “You got no power over me!”

He finally made it to the bathroom, despite Big Brother stretching the room so it seemed to take him half an hour. The shower was on. Did he do that? He didn’t care as he tried to claw his clothes off. They seemed to be sticking to his skin, but he eventually scrabbled them off. Mostly anyway. One of his legs was still in his jeans and boxers, but that seemed to be attached for life now.

The warm water dripped over his body like a thousand fingers tickling down his skin, touching and caressing each part. It felt like kisses, sweet and dirty, and it heated him, this sensation of being licked gently. “Where’s Ben?” he asked. There wasn’t anyone around to answer. There wasn’t even any cameras in here. If he closed his eyes though, he wasn’t alone and he let his hand move lower, pretending it was clever fingers that could swirl and spin thimbles instead.

He was hard, of course he was, and it felt that it was okay now. That he was allowed this moment as he stroked himself, the thousands of teasing droplets helping out, making him feel that this was allowed. That he could have this. That maybe he could have this all the time.

It didn’t take much and it didn’t take long. At least it didn’t seem to take any length of time at all. He wasn’t sure at the moment, not when he had Ben’s hand on him and his fingers scraping down his legs, his mouth kissing his thighs and his thumbs dragging down his chest. As Ben’s hand pumped his cock just the way he liked it, there wasn’t a chance he could even be quiet. He didn’t care if he moaned or called out. He was allowed this. He had the power, he was allow to use it.

After, his breaths came out in gasps as the perfect feeling coated his body, fluttering through to every pore. His legs couldn’t hold him up and he let himself fall onto the tile before pushing open the shower door and crawling out, ending up flat on his back on the towel he dropped earlier. Callum didn’t feel alone anymore. He felt like he was being watched. Peering up, two eyes were gazing down at him.

He’d never be able to look Pebbles in the wonky eye again, and her traumatised expression wouldn’t easily disappear. Well, not without a couple of Sharpies anyway. Knowing he had to go to bed before he slept in here, he used the sink to pull himself up, wrapping the towel around his body the best he could, before staggering out to the bedroom, his sopping jeans and boxers still trailing behind him. Callum managed to kick them off before climbing into bed as his head started thumping at the way Big Brother was spinning the room. His eyes closed, the rhythm of the twisting lulling him off to sleep.

** Day Thirty **

Callum was going to kill who ever was ringing a cowbell next to his ear. It was clanging onto his brain and he just wanted to make it stop. Opening his eyes, he was a little surprised to see there wasn’t a herd of cattle hanging over his head. The room was empty and it was coming back to him exactly where he was, and who he was.

Sitting up with a groan, he rubbed at his face, grimacing in disgust when his hand came away with some sort of green goop. What the hell was that?

He couldn’t think about that now though, as the ringing was still banging its way into his head. The noise was recognisable now as that awful phone. It wasn’t going to stop. Big Brother knew he wasn’t out.

Callum started to get up, before quickly realising that he was wearing nothing. His clothes were over the other side of the room, so he did his best to wrap the whole duvet around his body and wriggled his way over to the phone. It wasn’t easy, but he managed to pin himself to the wall to save his modesty. He managed to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror. With the massive duvet, green goop smudged over his face, and dried green sticking his hair up in every direction, he could honestly say that he’d had better starts to the day.

“Hello?” he mumbled into the receiver. He glanced at the screen as he rested his head against the wall. Though his head was still rocking, the sight of Ben in the garden made him smile.

_“Good Morning, Callum. This evening you will be returning to the Big Brother house.”_

That made him smile a little more, although last night was a bit of a blur, he still wanted to be here. He still wanted to be in there and get everything back to normal.”

_“However, Big Brother has another job for you before then. You’ll be helping us to choose the new housemates that will be entering the house just before your surprise arrival.”_

Well, not quite back to normal then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
> 
> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx


	15. Week Five (Part 1)

**Day Thirty (continued)**

Callum put down the phone, the receiver only hanging correctly on the third try.

There were going to be new housemates; new people in the house. It didn’t quite seem real, even though he knew he had heard correctly. He had only just got used to everyone in the old house, only just felt comfortable and himself around them. Now, he would have to meet people he didn’t know and who didn’t know him, and it made him want to curl up in a ball on the floor. Or run away. It made him want to run, somewhere far from here. It would change everything.

Going back to his seat, grabbing a towel that was on the floor and wrapping it around his waist so he could drop the blanket, he slumped himself into the armchair feeling worse than ever. The swaying in his head wasn’t helping, the persistent mist just tangling around his brain and making him lose focus. Looking around, he couldn’t help but grimace at the bottle of prosecco laying spent and limp on the floor, just a few stray drips staining the rug underneath. Callum knew he had to get up. He had to wee, or possibly throw up. Likelihood was he needed to do both and just hoped it wouldn’t be at the same time.

Stumbling towards the bathroom, he groaned when he noticed it was in the same state as the rest of the Loft. This was why he hated getting drunk; all his tidiness went out the window but he still had to clear up all the mess in the morning.

Glancing toward the sink, he looked on with confusion. “What are you doing in here?” he asked Pebbles, though he vaguely remembered washing a face mask off her.

Callum fell to the ground with a thump and leaned over the toilet bowl, a wave of nausea hitting him. It was nothing more though, and after struggling to stand up he quickly threw himself into the cold shower. The water hit his head with a sting. It may have woken him up, but it also angered the Prosecco monsters in his head.

Stepping out the shower, he quickly wrapped the towel back around his waist, while Pebble’s wonky eye looked the other way. He was never drinking again.

Collapsing back in the chair, he just ignored the mess around him. Normally, he’d go clear it up no matter how bad his head was feeling, but not today. It didn’t seem to matter today. He just couldn’t see the point. Nothing was going to make him feel better now.

He liked people, he honestly did. That’s why he enjoyed working at the pub; he could chat away happily to customers, asking them about their lives and their days. This was different though. In here it was different, you couldn’t just keep deflecting questions onto someone else. You were in the spotlight. Now, with new people he would have that feeling all over again. The one where everything he said sounded stupid, where people looked at him like a freak because he could never articulate things the way he would like to. Perhaps he even imagined that anyone in here didn’t see him like that. His messed up head had convinced him that Ben actually liked him, but really he was just like the rest of them and laughing at how different he was. What if it was all in his head?

Callum knew that he needed to distract himself, get away from the voices that wouldn’t stop bleating and mocking him for believing that anyone could ever like someone such as him. There was no chance that he could get out of that chair yet though. Instead, he pulled on the headphones and tried to focus on what was happening on the screen.

The camera was focused on the garden where Kush was sitting with his feet up, a mug of tea clutched in his hand while watching Ben in the chicken coop.

“Didn’t you have six of those chicken things?” Kush asked, his eyes squinting in the sun. “Only see five scratching around. We ain’t having one for lunch are we? Cause chances are Habs will have cremated it by now.”

Ben scowled towards him. “Shouldn’t you be in a better mood considering you got your end away last night?” he replied

“Why would you think anything happened last night?” Kush said, shrugging his shoulders and taking a sip of tea. Callum was suddenly having flashbacks of noises in his head. Had he imagined that?

Ben picked up Ann and they both looked sceptically at the man picking the paint off the mug. “You came back from that room practically disco dancing while Kat was walking along like a cowboy who’d just finished a twenty-four hour rodeo competition,” he said, a finger and wing pointing accusingly at the man sitting in the garden. “Don’t sit there and tell me you’re all relaxed cause of that green swill you’re drinking!”

Kush cleared his throat and shuffled a little in his chair. “Well, it was just a one time thing,” he said a little bit of sadness creeping through in his voice. “That’s been made very clear to me.”

“You can’t give up, mate,” Ben replied, putting Ann down. “Not if you really feel that way. It might end up in your favour.”

“Yeah, or it might not,” Kush said, draining the rest of his cup. “What’s up with you anyway? Ain’t like you to spout out Buddhist tripe at this time of the morning! You found God in the time we were in the task room?”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?!” he protested, peering curiously into the hen house. “I’m allowed to be happy without a stewards’ bloody enquiry going into it!”

“Alright!” Kush replied. “I just thought that you might be a bit more down considering Callum only went a couple of days ago. That ship’s obviously sailed though, if you’re joking away.”

Ben paused and came to lean on the fence of the coop. He looked around the garden a little, and when his eyes passed one of the cameras, Callum felt that he was almost looking at him through the screen. He knew there was a chance he was nothing to Ben, and the other man was only pitying him, but when Callum looked at him, he almost didn’t care. He couldn’t help but take that risk

“Do you want to hear a joke?” he asked Kush, who shrugged and half nodded as he leaned back on his seat. “Why was six afraid of seven?”

Kush took a long breath before shaking his head. “I don’t know, mate.”

“Because seven ate nine,” Ben replied with a smile, catching the eye of the camera, before speaking slowly. “Get it? Six, seven, eight, nine.”

“Yeah, alright mate, how thick do you think I am?” Kush said with a laugh. “I can understand a kid’s joke. Quite tame that for you! I expected a sixty nine to come into play there somewhere!”

“I was just making sure you heard it,” Ben said plainly, chewing at his lip. “Just making sure it was loud enough and you got all the numbers in that order.”

Kush heaved himself up. “I wouldn’t hope for a gig as a comedian when you get out, Ben, if that’s your best material,” he replied. “Even that little black feathered hen of yours has come out to heckle you, look.”

“She wouldn’t heckle me, would you Darlin’?” Ben said, trying to coax Missy closer when she nervously peered her head out. “She’s just had a bit of extra kip is all. Getting her beauty winks in. She was probably up all night when you and Kat were making the ground shake.”

Callum slipped the headphones off as Kush went inside and Ben went back to looking after the chickens. His mood had changed a little now. He knew it might not last, but he felt everything had slipped properly back into place. Hope scuttled in. As he started to tidy up the Loft, his headache disappeared and his humming filled the room.

Once he was changed and had tidied the loft, Callum sat back in the old armchair. He felt a lot more positive now, more hopeful at least about what was going to happen when he went back to the house. Nothing had to change, just because there were new people coming in, it didn’t mean anything. It didn’t.

Slipping the headphones back on, Callum was pleased to see the camera was focused on the bedroom. Ben was now laying back on the bed, still twirling the thimble in his fingers.

“It ain’t fair for you to be messing about with his feelings like this, you know,” he said across the room. “You can’t give him the heave ho one day, then be jockeying the hell out of his cock the next. Bit of a mixed message, sweetheart.”

“Don’t mince your words, will you?” Kat huffed back. “I ain’t an idiot, Ben! But then neither is he. I ain’t changed my mind, or told him different. I don’t think anyone should be crying tears over him getting the jump last night, do you?”

“I guess not,” Ben conceded, before silence fell over the room. “Why not though, Kat? Why not give it a go?”

Kat shuffled down on her bed, curling up on her side. “My fella, yeah? My ex, it was different with him. It was like this pull towards him, and it almost like there weren’t no choice. When he was about there was no one else. I don’t get that with Kush.”

“What if you did though? Say you’re just being a bit premature, and you could grow to love one another?” Ben asked. “Why not even give it a try?”

She sighed, heavy and tiredly. “I don’t want to give it a try,” she said. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t get my heart broken any more. I can’t take the risk of falling for someone, of letting them in my life, getting them close to me, to really know me and see me, and then have them stab me in my back, and keep twisting and twisting at the knife until I crumble.”

“Your ex though? You said you kept going back to him,” Ben enquired, holding the thimble to his lips. “You kept giving him another chance?”

“That weren’t a choice,” Kat insisted. “That weren’t even close to one. Some people you just can’t help yourself, some people you just can’t give up, can’t push away no matter what they do or how they tear you apart. It’s not a choice with him. You get that though, don’t you?”

“That you can’t stay away, even though everything is telling you that you should?” Ben repeated with a chuckle. “Yah, I know that game. Not much you can do about that. It consumes you; it eats you alive before you even realise it’s in front of you. And then there’s no backing away.”

“You end up with your heart snapped in two and the shards impaled into your gut,” Kat replied sadly. “But when you don’t have that control, it’s impossible to walk away. I ain’t getting into anything where I might get hurt. Not voluntarily. I like Kush a lot, and I reckon we’d be good mates. I’m not gonna let him in though, not when I don’t feel I have to. I can’t do it, Ben.”

The door swung open and Habiba strutted in, shuffling her feet along the carpet before dropping herself down on the bed next to Ben. “Chefing is hard” she complained. “There’s so much pressure to get everything right!”

“I wouldn’t worry, Habs. It ain’t happened so far!” Ben chuckled back at her. “If nothing else, at least we’ll shift any of this weight we gain from laying about all day!”

“I don’t know how Callum did it,” she said with a sigh. “He was really good with his hands.”

“You wouldn’t know, would you, Ben?” Kat cackled out. “Poor sod! Do you think we’ll get a task today? I’m bored out my mind here. I wish something would happen.”

Ben smiled back at her. “Be careful what you wish for.”

Callum took a deep breath when the phone rang. This was what he was dreading. He picked up the receiver, letting the air slowly fade from his lungs.

_“Good Afternoon, Callum. Yesterday you were told that you would be helping Big Brother choose the new housemates that will enter the house before your return. Would you please go to hatch, take out the contents and place them on the coffee table. Then, take the phone over and sit with the envelopes in front of you.”_

Callum went over to the hatch and took the items out; five coloured envelopes, unbending with the card inside. He laid them out carefully on the table one at a time, almost taking too long; he wasn’t sure if he wanted what happened next, and if he could stop it or prevent or delay it, then that’s what he’d do. That seemed to be his attitude to most things in life though, and look where that had got him.

Going back over to the shelf, he picked the phone up and brought it over to the table, placing it down next to the envelopes. He looked back confusingly at the wire. It wasn’t attached to anything. The phone wasn’t real, at least the make and model it was supposed to be; one that was connected to a telephone line. It was all just a façade.

“Yeah, I’ve done that,” he said, picking up the receiver. It seemed stupid now, to be talking into this little bit of plastic. They could hear him anyway. They could always hear him.

_“Callum, in front of you are five envelopes that contain the names of five potential new housemates. Could you now please pick four of them and place them to one side.”_

Callum put down the phone and looked at the envelopes in front of him. He lingered his hand over them for a moment, waving it as though he could sense something, any tiny clue that told him which ones to choose. They were just colours though, simple as that.

Quickly picking up the yellow, red and green envelopes, he stacked them to the side. There were only two left now. Purple and pink. Callum shuffled around the paper before taking the purple and putting in the pile. It didn’t seem right though, so at the last minute he swapped it for the pink.

_“Callum, the envelopes you have chosen represent the four housemates that will enter the house tonight. There is one more space in the house. You may take that space and walk back in the house as normal.”_

That’s what he wanted, that’s what he hoped would happen. To go back to what had become his reality and his life. That’s all he’d thought about, to be back in the same house as Ben and to have everything go back to normal.

 _“However, you do not have to take this place Callum,”_ Big Brother continued. _“Instead, you can hand this over to the potential housemate in the purple envelope.”_

Shaking his head, Callum picked up the phone. It would give him the feeling that they would hear him better. Why would they think he’d want to go? Did they want him out of here?

“No way, not a chance,” he said firmly. “I want to go back in the house.”

_“Callum, if you give up your place in the house then you will be rewarded with a cash prize of fifty thousand pounds.”_

The crack as the phone hit the table ricocheted around the room. He almost thought he imagined what they said, almost thought he’d dreamt that they’d offered him fifty grand and all he had to do for it was go home.

Home. He didn’t know what that was anymore. He never did really, it didn’t hold the same meaning for him as it did for other people. It was just a place where all his things were, all his trinkets and possessions. He’d never really had somewhere of safety, not even when he was little. He’d never had a mother who would tuck him up in bed as a boy, read him stories and show him love. He’d always been lost.

Fifty thousand pounds though. That could buy him anything he’d ever wanted. Anything he’d ever lusted after. It could get him a deposit on a flat, he could get a car, go on holiday, get new clothes and all the other things he spent his childhood longing for; imagining them as distant mirages as though they could never be real.

Those weren’t what he wanted though. They were just silly possessions, dangled in front of him to try and distract him from what he was starting to realise. He knew what he wanted. For the first time in his life, he knew what he wanted, and it was in touching distance.

“No,” he replied after he had picked up the phone receiver again. “I don’t accept. I wanna go back in the house.”

_“Callum, just to confirm, you want to take the fifth and final place back in the house. This will mean that the fifty thousand pounds goes to the potential housemate in the purple envelope. Are you sure?”_

It was more money than he could dream of, but money was never what was at the front of his dreams. “I’m certain.”

_“Thank you, Callum. Big Brother will get back to you later with details of your entrance into the house. Could you please place the purple envelope back into the hatch. You must leave the other envelopes unopened on the table until further notice.”_

Callum looked at them, sitting in their pile. He wished he could burn them.

For the third time, he came and sat down on the armchair. His nerves were jiggling up and down in his body, and they wouldn’t settle. Every time he sat down, they just started shooting around from his toes to his fingertips.

It had taken him longer than he’d like to admit to get changed ready to go back into the house. Callum was unsure what outfit to pick. He didn’t want to go back in with his eviction clothes on, looking like he’d just been sitting outside the door for two days. Essentially, that’s what he had been doing, but he didn’t want it to overly obvious he’d just been waiting to claw his way back in.

There was a moment where he thought he’d just go in casual, just some trackie bottoms and a hoodie; just swagger back in the house like he’d never left and as if it was no big deal. He could lay back on the sofa, give a shrug and a yawn and wave away all the housemates’ shock. The moment he started to pull on his joggers though, Pixar gave him a shake of his head. He was right of course. It would be hard to appear nonchalant when your fingers were trembling and you were three seconds away from vomiting from the stress.

Instead, he settled on jeans and a clean t-shirt. He ran into the bathroom to look in the tiny mirror above the sink, before walking back into the lounge. Callum couldn’t help but notice Pebbles’ stare of disdain, he could barely look her in her dodgy eye. Though he imagined that was due to the fact he had been going to the bathroom to check himself in the mirror for the past hour and a half rather than look at one of the five large mirrors in the main part of the loft.

Callum was all packed, his suitcase sitting by the door. He wanted to take a few things with him from the attic, but he probably wouldn’t be allowed. They didn’t matter anyway. It was just junk that he assigned meaning to. It wasn’t living and breathing. They didn’t make the shadow of his soul want to rip itself away from his body so it could fly off by to do as it wished. There was only one thing that made him feel that way.

Now, he was perched on the armchair again, forcing himself to sit still. He didn’t want to put the headphones fully over his head, he’d just spent three quarters of an hour making sure his hair was perfect. Instead he just held the spongy ear piece to his face to make out what was being said on the screen.

All the housemates were on the sofa, and he could see the house was decorated with balloons and streamers. It was clear that something was going to happen, and by the way all the housemates were dressed up, they obviously had the same thought.

“Do you think there’s another eviction?” Habiba asked, adjusting her dress a little. “They’re not playing the crowd noise in though. Oh God! What if I get evicted without a crowd? Just some stinky old soundman out there! I need to have my fans in the back of my pap shots!”

“Why would they put up all these decorations for an eviction?” Dotty replied with a scowl. “It’s hardly going to be a celebration is it?”

“I don’t know,” Ben said, leaning back on the sofa. “I think we’d soon crack open the champers if your arse disappeared out that door. I’m sure the camera operators would have a national holiday for the fact they don’t have to film your face anymore. Their colleagues that accidently looked you in the eye can finally be turned back from stone.”

“Fuck off, Ben!” she said, flipping him off. “You know what I’m saying. I think you’re thinking the same as I am, anyway.”

Ben gave her a wink and a smirk. “Maybe it’s our task for the week,” Vinney suggested. His headphones looked shiny. He’d clearly given them a good polish for the occasion. Maybe hoping it would be live and someone would be watching.

Wait, would it be live? Would someone be watching him now? He shook off his concern. All the attention would be on the house and the new housemates going in. They were probably being interviewed and prepped right now, not knowing what they had let themselves in for.

Thinking back, it seemed like just yesterday for Callum. Getting ready in the little room they provided for him, with just his chatty handler for company. He had been terrified; he’d not wanted to go in and would have given anything to keep out of that house. He would have given every penny he owned. Now look at him; he’d turned away an offer of more money he could even imagine just so he could go back in. So much had happened in the last month. Time didn’t seem to match up in his head when he realised how different his life was just four weeks ago. A mere drop of water in the vastness of his life.

The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. He took a deep breath and then answered it where it still sat on the table.

_“Good evening, Callum. Would you please open the first envelope and read out the name of the new housemate, loudly and clearly.”_

Reaching over, Callum picked up the pink one first, his nervous fingers taking a few attempts to tear at the paper. Finally, he managed to rip it along the edge and shuffled out the thick piece of card that was hidden inside. His eyes drew over the name.

“Ruby,” he called out, waving the card around to make sure it was evident. It didn’t mean anything to him, and there was silence from Big Brother as he held the earpiece to his face.

It was surprising when sound started to appear instead of a voice, and he realised the screen had changed from its normal shots of the house. Now it was flashing with an eye, before a person appeared. It was matching with the audio he could hear from the phone. He was getting to see their entrance videos.

Callum watched as a woman appeared on screen, small and elfin. She looked fierce, grinning mischievously as the camera angles and editing changed wildly between an interview and a few photoshoots. He missed some of the answers she was giving, a few soundbites being drawn out and highlighted by the production team. She said she’d be taking no prisoners. That’s what Big Brother did though. They took what was an hour interview and chopped it down to just a few sentences. She was probably a really lovely girl, not the terrifying woodland pixie in a power suit that she appeared to be from this video.

The clip stopped and the house appeared back on the screen, the housemates still chatting away none the wiser. Callum kneeled on the ground and shuffled a little closer to the television, his breath heavy in the room, just waiting. It was like watching a horror film. You knew something was about to happen, but you didn’t know the exact moment.

He didn’t have to wait long, as Kush went from chatting animatedly to letting his jaw drop open. Immediately, his head swung round and he started to slowly rise from the sofa. He was the only one on the screen at that moment, and Callum willed the camera to draw back so he could see the rest of their reactions.

Eventually, the shot changed and he could see they were all making their way towards the staircase. Dotty’s lips were pursed, as if she was sucking on a slice of lemon and had shoved the rest of it up her arse. Ruby clopped slowly down the stairs, all hair and toothy smiles, before she confidently went around to each of them, giving them a perfunctory hug and an air kiss on each cheek. Callum could see her eyes gazing around. She was clearly questioning why she was there. She must have had her reasons though.

The screen went to black and Callum gave a tut, wanting to watch the rest of the interaction. He wished he had gone back in there first, then he would be able to see everything. He knew it was time for his next job though.

_“Callum, could you now please open the next envelope and read the name loudly and clearly.”_

There were less nerves in his fingers this time, as he quickly ripped the green envelope apart. He just wanted to get back in the house, and not miss what was happening. The sooner he opened all the envelopes, the sooner he could get back in; before he was forgotten.

Pulling out the card, he held it up again and read out the name. “Tubbs!” he called out, showing the name to Pixar as a witness.

He tapped his foot as he held the earpiece up and waited impatiently for the next video. When the clip came up on the screen, Callum’s eyebrows shot up, and even Pebbles’ eye gave a wobble. It wasn’t what he imagined. He thought it would be some fifty year old, overweight, self-professed ‘mad joker’. Instead, this was a young guy who looked like he could sit back and remain unruffled while a hurricane stormed around him.

As Callum watched the clip, the man’s eyes piercing menacingly through the screen, he listened to the soundbites. He was a self-confessed bad boy, but promised to be on his best behaviour in the house. Callum thought that could be the case, but what exactly was his best? Some people had very low barometers, and he wasn’t sure this man’s promises were worth the air they were muttered into.

When the screen cut back to the house, Callum couldn’t help but tap his leg nervously. He didn’t know these people. He didn’t want them in their house. How could he possibly be himself when he knew there were new people watching and judging him all the time?

Ruby was busy chatting away to Habiba, both their hairs being flung competitively over their shoulders with a rhythmic duelling. There perhaps wasn’t the courteous welcome and interaction that seemed to be playing out. Dotty still lingered like a statue in the background, steam appearing out of her ears. Oh wait, someone had just put the kettle on.

There was a cheer that went up as the doors slid open again at the top of the staircase, and the level of excitement in the house edged up even further. Callum watched as Tubbs sauntered slowly down the stairs, as if he was just popping to the kitchen for his morning cuppa, not entering a competitive reality show. There seemed to be no nerves there whatsoever.

It was hard to tell with the angle, but Habiba seemed to elbow Ruby out the way, as Kat repeatedly pumped her fist with a mouthed “Phwoar” towards her housemate. Tubbs spent little time greeting them though, just a brief hug, handshake or cheek kiss. It was Ben that he exchanged words with, and it was Ben that he remained next to. What the holy fuck?

Callum waved his hand furiously at the screen when the shot cut to Kat having a conversation with Ruby. Get back! God knows what happening by now! For all he knew, this Tubbs could be on his knees sucking Ben off and Callum would have no knowledge of it happening. To be fair, it was highly unlikely that Vinney would still be looking bored and just be making a cup of tea in the background. Although, it was Vinney. He could be treading over ten naked bodies thrusting against each other on the floor and he’d probably think it was just a cuddle party.

Callum muttered under his breath, willing the screen to go back. When it cut to black, he cursed and threw the empty green envelope at the tv. The weightlessness of it just seemed to create a boomerang effect and it rounded back and hit Pebbles in the face.

Glaring at the screen, it was like it was mocking him with its blankness, chanting his name in jest and tease, over and over again. Then he realised it wasn’t coming from the television.

“Sorry, Big Brother!” he said, fumbling around with the receiver and holding it back to his ear. He didn’t think he ever heard Big Brother shout before. “I’m ready.”

_“Callum, please open the next envelope and read the name loudly and clearly.”_

He wasn’t sure why they kept saying that. He’d read them fine so far. It wasn’t as though he whispered out the name and then chewed up and swallowed the card so there would be doubt over the proceedings. Again, he ripped open the paper and pulled out the card.

“Simon!” he shouted out, a bit of annoyance creeping in. He hated this. He hated it. He didn’t want anyone else new.

When the man came on screen, Callum didn’t even bother listening, too busy furiously tapping the card on the table. There wasn’t much to pay attention to from what he could make out. A decent bloke, a paramedic he thought he picked up, and something about looking for love in the house. It would give Habiba someone to flutter around if she was interested. Maybe he’d be good for her.

The concentration just wasn’t there though. He’d missed minutes of Tubbs and Ben’s interaction. Seconds, and seconds and seconds of their conversation, and it killed him not knowing what was going on. When Simon’s video finished, he held the receiver tightly to his ear, and started pulling at the fraying of the cushion he’d brought to his lap, jiggling his thigh to try and get some of the excess energy out. He stopped under Pixar’s warning look. If there was anyone watching him, it probably looked like he was giving the pillow a cheeky hump. It could all be fine, and Tubbs perhaps could have gone on to talking to a different housemate by now.

Throwing the cushion aside when the house suddenly reappeared, Callum held the receiver so tight to his head, he was sure it would leave a mark. He shuffled on his knees closer, as it showed the doors whirl open and Simon happily trot down the stairs.

If he thought it would help, Callum would have thrown the whole phone at the screen. Frankly, he was very close to doing that anyway. It may not help anything, but it would certainly make him feel a little better. Especially as the absolute bastard of a director was insistently just following Simon’s annoying, bobbing, grinning head around. Did they hate him this much? Did they know what this was doing to him?

Finally, the camera cut back to a longer shot as Simon continued to hug and squeeze each housemate in turn, seemingly getting their life story before moving on to the next one. Callum instantly regretted wanting to see what was happening. He now wanted to go back to the close up of the new housemate so he didn’t have to see Ben and Tubbs, perching closely on the edge of the couch, laughing and joking with each other.

Fantastic. It had taken less than two minutes and he was replaced. There wasn’t really any point in going back in there now. He’d have to sit there and watch Ben and Tubbs wrapped up in their own little world while the evil pixie and grinning, love-loser ambulance driver bumbled around the house trying to suck up to their new housemates.

_“Callum, could you please open the final envelope and read the name-“_

“Loudly and clearly!” he interrupted, scrapping the paper away fiercely. “Yes! I do know!”

Pulling out the card, he read out the final name.

“Frankie!” he shouted out, holding the ear receiver so he could see the next man they put in. He was becoming ever defunct in the house. He’d just get lost in there, with no purpose, just shrivelling away to nothing. Why didn’t he take the fifty grand? What was he thinking?

When a young woman appeared on the screen, it surprised him a little. She seemed sweet enough; the clips showing her clicking away with a camera. She was obviously a watcher and would fit right in with this show. It was also clear that she was deaf, and he couldn’t help but think about the reaction in the house.

That was it then. The four new people that were sure to shake up the house, and certain to change it. The other week when they mistakenly ordered light mayonnaise from the shopping list, it threw the whole house into disarray. Four brand new humans was sure to make it implode.

Callum watched the doors of the house, as Frankie came in her hair in braided pigtails. She skipped happily down the stairs. Amazing, she didn’t seem to have any fear either. How did they do it? How did people burst into unknown situations without a second thought, without a tremble or a panic? Why couldn’t he be like that?

Everyone greeted Frankie enthusiastically, giving her hugs, but Callum could feel his blood seethe when Tubbs was still standing next to Ben. What was his problem? “He’s only just walked in the place, why ain’t he gone to have a little mingle?” Callum said to Pixar, shaking his head. “Why’s he called Tubbs anyway? He ain’t even fat!”

_“Callum, are you ready to go back in the house?”_

The voice was neutral as it came through the speaker, but the question held so much more meaning. Callum didn’t know the answer, not now. Questions weren’t always things you could answer straight away; you had to peel and scrape away until you got the answer, like you were rubbing off the silver on a scratch card.

“Yeah,” he answered, his voice shaky. He gave a little nod to Pebbles and Pixar, sensing that this would be goodbye. He didn’t need them anymore. “Yeah I’m ready.”

This was now the third time in a month that Callum had stood at these doors with his heart in his mouth. It was still quiet outside, no crowd had been allowed in for the new housemates. He wished he had that; to be able to sneak in without endless eyes watching him when he first entered, not being able to breath until the doors slammed shut behind him and he wasn’t being watched by them anymore.

It seemed to take forever until the doors eventually opened. As soon as they did, Callum was all ready to storm in, march down the stairs and head straight for Ben. That imagine of him and Tubbs stuck in his head though. What if he didn’t want him back? He might not even notice he was there.

Instead, Callum walked in calmly, well as casually as he could manage. He wasn’t exactly swaggering, especially with his knees trying to remove themselves from the rest of his legs again, but he went slowly, and looked down as he made his way to descend the staircase.

He continued to keep his eyes lowered, even when he heard a scream. He kept them down when he heard a banging that made the stairs rattle. However, his plan came unstuck when he was pushed onto his bottom, his hand gripping on to the railing to stop himself rolling down the steps. His view was blocked by a face full of hair as the shrieking continued right into his ear, and he felt kisses pepper his cheek.

“You’re back! You’re back!” Habiba squealed, awkwardly straddling Callum’s hips where he was still sprawled on the staircase. “Just like the Baby Jesus at Christmas, you’ve risen from the dead with the help of some reindeer magic!”

Callum patted her on the back before gripping her a little tighter. He had missed her. He’d rather not have her rocking back and forth screaming his name while on top of him, but he had missed her. “Good to see you, Habs.”

“Wait,” Habiba said, pulling back a bit. “You are Callum, aren’t you? You’re not some evil twin that we don’t know about?”

“Definitely me,” he replied, trying to squirm away a little as the sharp corner of a step dug painfully into his back. “Habs, could you shift a bit?”

“Oh, sorry!” she said, clambering off him, and pulling him up to stand. “This is just so exciting! It’s like that time I managed to get Philip Schofield and Gordon the Gopher to reunite!”

They both walked down the stairs, Habiba gripping his hand excitedly. “Let me introduce you to everyone!” she continued, dragging Callum over. He refused to look where he wanted. He didn’t want to know. He couldn’t, he’d just rather live in blissful ignorance for a few seconds longer. “This is Ruby. She runs a club in London, and has already agreed to have Vinney DJ there when we get out!”

By the look on Ruby’s face, it hadn’t quite been a mutual agreement, but she had only been in the house for five minutes and probably didn’t want to upset the balance just yet. Callum greeted her warmly though, before Habiba dragged him off again. “This is Frankie,” she continued, pointing towards the young woman who gave him a warm hug. “She’s magical, she won’t tell me how yet, but I’m quite excited to find out.”

Frankie laughed and gave a little wink at Callum to reveal the tease. “It’s nice to meet you, Frankie,” he replied, before clearing his throat. “Everyone made you welcome?”

Callum left emphasis on the word ‘everyone’, though he still couldn’t bring himself to look over. He would have heard a kerfuffle if Ben and Tubbs were bent over the dining room table. Or at least Kat cheering them on at the show. “Yeah, most people have been really welcoming,” she replied, her eyes darting to where he knew Ben was standing. “Some people just take their time with things, Callum. No one has to do anything they ain’t ready to do. No one does.”

Callum gave her a little nod before leaving her to chat to Kat and Vinney, who had both greeted him with a big group hug. Habiba pulled him in another direction again. “This is Simon,” she said, hoisting the man a little closer by his sleeve. He’s a paramedic, apparently on the look out for love!”

Christ, is that the only thing this bloke said? He’d drowned him out for three minutes and had now still managed to find out the same information twice. Still, he didn’t want to seem impolite, and Simon was smiling warmly and genuinely at him. “Good to meet you, mate. You excited about being in here?” he asked, one of his eyes trying to twitch towards Ben’s direction.

“I’m a little nervous to be honest,” he replied, and Callum felt a little guilty at mocking him. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you though. You’re looking great tonight.”

Simon was just about to open his mouth when Habiba started to pull Callum away. “Yes, well, let’s go meet someone else, shall we?” she replied before shoving him towards a body. “This is Kush.”

“I think he knows me! We have spent a month sharing a bedroom, Habs,” Kush said with a chuckle, pulling Callum in for a hug. “It’s good to have you back, pal. You’re here for good, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied, fighting with all his strength not to look back; to not turn around. “As much as any of us are. It’s all change in here, eh?”

Before Kush could respond, Callum felt a tap on his shoulder, and turned to see Tubbs standing before him. “Just wanted to come say hello, mate,” he said, shaking Callum’s hand firmly, giving him a short smile.

Callum didn’t know what to do, so he settled on giving him a curt nod. He tried not to be petty, he really did. He knew it was stupid to get jealous over nothing, but that didn’t stop the pulse bubbling in his chest and up his throat. Just because you told yourself not to get jealous, it didn’t mean that it all just stopped.

“Come on,” Habiba said, squeezing his hand before pulling him away again. “One last person to meet.”

Callum could sense him getting nearer and nearer, but he still didn’t focus his eyes until they stopped walking. He still couldn’t bring himself to look. “Callum,” Habiba said softly. “This is Ben.”

When he looked at Ben, properly looked and locked their eyes together, he could hear his mind’s reaction. It vibrated and tanged like a faint gong, reverberating into his cheeks which heated and burned. He had to work hard to breathe, forcing the air in and out, as his lungs seemed too distracted to do it for him. They were too concerned with his heart that had stopped beating, before speeding up so quickly that the pulsing rhythm harmonised with the tinging in his head.

Holding out his hand, he couldn’t even describe the feeling when Ben took it, linking their fingers one by one. Home. That’s what it felt like. Home.

“Ain’t I seen you around here before?” Ben asked, sliding to the ground and pulling Callum with him as Habiba backed away and went to chat to the new housemates.

“Me?” Callum asked with a grin, rubbing his thumb over Ben’s skin. “Nah, I’ve just walked in, ain’t I?”

Ben licked his lips, his mouth quirking into a smile. “Ah, must have been this other guy then,” he said, catching Callum’s glance, his eyes sweeping over his face. “Right little diva he was, never knew if he was here or there. Always coming and going when he liked. Fit as fuck, though.”

Callum just continued, to sweep his thumb over the back of Ben’s hand, as though just the touch of his skin could fuel him. It did in a way. It made him feel alive. It made him feel. There was still their fight lingering over them though, the one they had before Callum’s apparent eviction. That hadn’t been resolved. “Listen, Ben-“

“We need to talk,” he interrupted, knowing what Callum was thinking. “I know that. Before anything else, we need to get everything out in the open. Tonight, yeah? When everyone else has gone to sleep?”

Callum nodded, shuffling a little closer. He didn’t have to let go though. Nothing was resolved and nothing was fixed, but he didn’t feel broken. He noticed Ben suddenly turn his head away and slightly glare.

“Sorry, I just wondered if anyone fancied a drink,” Simon said, standing in front of them and smiling. “If someone could point me towards the glasses, I don’t mind getting them.”

Callum sighed a little, before standing up and reluctantly letting go of Ben’s hand. He thought he better show the new housemate where everything was, before Ben shared a row of expletives for where exactly he should go looking for the glasses. It was fine, they had time tonight to talk as much as they wanted.

As with most things in his life, things never went quite to plan. The rest of the evening carried on with most people either in good spirits or faking being in good spirits, as was the case of most gatherings he’d ever attended. Once he’d shown Simon the glasses, and then around the house a little, he managed to palm him off onto Kush. Callum just wanted to get back to Ben.

Where was he though? He couldn’t see him in the main part of the house, and he wasn’t in the bedroom either. Callum had an inkling though; that he’d be in the place he could usually find Ben when he wanted him.

Sure enough, when he went out into the garden, he saw Ben sitting on the bench, a bottle of wine in hand. Strangely though, he wasn’t alone, or with a chicken for company. Instead, perched next to him, legs outstretched and signalling for him to pass over the wine, was Dotty.

“Come on, sunshine!” Ben called out, taking the bottle back from Dotty once she’d had a swig. “Come join us in the losers’ corner!”

Callum walked up to them, taking a seat on the other end of the bench, the young woman in between both of them. “Losers?” he chuckled out. “I take it you’re both not happy with our new housemates.”

“I want them all to burn and die,” Dotty muttered out, before glancing up to the camera and bringing the microphone close to her mouth. “I’m speaking figuratively, Big Brother. I want them all to have long, happy fire free lives.”

“You don’t want anyone to have a happy life!” Ben exclaimed back, passing the bottle across to Callum. “You don’t even want you to have a happy life! Feel free to have a swig of that; Dotty’s assured me she ain’t deposited any venom in this time.”

“Piss off, Ben!” she replied, as Callum took a long gulp. “I take it you’re alright with Miss Congeniality here spending some quality one-on-one with Mr Boring Pants then?”

“He’s just being polite,” Ben assured. “Weren’t you, Callum? He is getting on my tits the way he’s following you about though.”

Callum furrowed his eyebrows and looked towards them both. “What? Simon?” he said shaking his head. “He ain’t following me about. He just wanted to know where everything was in the house.”

Dotty sat back with her mouth open, before glancing towards Ben who just gave her a knowing shrug. “Oh, you really are precious, aren’t you?” she said patting him on the leg, before taking the wine. “Habiba had already shown him around three times! He really couldn’t be making it more obvious if he whipped it out and started panting out your name while giving it a good rub. Jesus, it makes Ben’s sickening heart eyes look like mild ambivalence.”

“Fuck off, Dotty!” Ben replied, stealing the bottle back. “It don’t matter what he thinks, anyway. Callum was just being kind to him cause he’s new.”

“I really don’t think that’s what’s going on,” he replied with a shrug. Simon’s video had said he was looking for love in the house. Why would he choose Callum for that? “He’s just being friendly and nice.”

Dotty spluttered out her mouthful of wine, before looking accusingly at Ben. “Well, if you’re not going to spell it out to him, then I will,” she remarked, before turning back to Callum and speaking very slowly, miming out her words with actions. “Friendly Simon wants your friendly cock in his friendly mouth so he can nicely suck you off until you nicely jizz all over his friendly face. Is that clear enough?”

Ben snorted next to her. “I don’t see the big deal!” Callum reiterated. “You was getting close to Tubbs, wasn’t you?”

Ben looked over to him and squinted his eyes, before breaking out into a laugh. “You’re jealous!”

“No, I ain’t!” he replied, sitting back and folding his arms with a pout. “I’m just saying there ain’t no difference, that’s all.”

“I met Tubbs at the audition!” Ben said, with an unbearable smirk still on his face. “He was bound to want to speak to the person he knew a bit. It is nerve wracking coming into this house and being new.”

“He didn’t seem to be nervous when he had his hand on your arm,” Callum muttered out petulantly. “He weren’t exactly trembling at the ankle, were he?”

Dotty started cackling between them. “Wow, Big Brother knows what they’re doing!” she said, wiping her eyes. “Including sending in that little bint that’s already trying to take over.”

“You’re just jealous because she looks better in a power suit than you,” Ben chuckled back. “Don’t worry, Dot, no one does undead chic like you do.”

“I mean, where does she think she is?!” she exclaimed, flinging her arm towards the patio door. “Rolling in here like she’s been called into the boardroom by Alan Sugar! She’ll spend the next week wheeling her fucking suitcase behind her and holding up her mic pack to speak into like a phone! Welcome back by the way, Callum.”

“Cheers, Dotty,” he said with a confused nod. “I’ve only been here a whole hour, good of you to notice.”

“In my defence, it’s not as though it was a complete surprise,” she remarked. “Not with this one here suddenly having a personality transplant and practically humping the couch cushions. I don’t know how you knew, Ben, but I knew you knew. Did you guess about the newbies as well?”

There was a slight pause. “No,” he said shaking his head, as he waved to Kush who was making his way across the garden. “I didn’t guess.”

“What’s this then?” Kush said, sipping on a beer. “A meeting of the Originals Club?”

“We’re missing a few, aren’t we?” Callum said, nodding towards the house.

“Well, you know what Habs is like. She’ll be an hour into her story about how her and Chris Packham recused a zebra from a caravan, before it just turned out to be a horse with some strobe lighting,” he replied with a role of his eyes. “And Kat, well she’s the life and soul, ain’t she? Why bother with us mere mortals when there’s fresh blood to entertain.”

“Vinny’s had his tongue attached to that woman’s arse ever since she mentioned she has a club,“ Dotty said with a huff. “She’ll string him along until she doesn’t need him anymore, and he’s too stupid to notice!”

“That’s literally what you did!” Ben called out. “To the very word!”

“That’s different!” she exclaimed. “I like him! I didn’t make empty promises about getting him to DJ at a club either! Trust me, this new lot are trouble. Better than devil you know ain’t an exaggeration in this case.”

There was a slight ominous silence over the garden. “Well that’s put us all in the party spirit,” Kush said, clearing his throat. “Here Ben, why don’t you tell Callum your awful joke. Really bring us all down.”

Ben just shook his head, before turning his head to look Callum in the eye. “Nah. He’s already heard it.”

The bedroom had been locked since Callum had been back in the house, and he could imagine why. There were now eleven of them, and unless people were going to sleep on the floor, they would have to add some more beds in.

It wasn’t until well past midnight that Big Brother announced the bedroom was open. It wasn’t surprising that all the new housemates sprung up and headed quickly in that direction. He remembered how most of the originals did that on the first night too, when it was all new and exciting. Everyone else was in no hurry though, and they leisurely walked to the room. Everyone except Ben, who grabbed hold of Callum’s wrist and dragged him at quick march through the door.

Frankie, Ruby and Tubbs had already chosen their beds, all picking three different doubles near to the door. Callum wasn’t sure if they couldn’t count, or if they just didn’t care that they would have to clearly share with someone, and as the rest of the housemates came bumbling in, people began to make their choices.

Kat quickly joined Frankie, obviously not wanting to share with Kush. Her previous bedmate, Dotty, gave a roll of her eyes, signalling Habiba towards one of the empty double beds. Within just a few seconds there were limited options left.

As Kush settled on the same bed as Tubbs, Vinney started making his way towards the last double. “If you take one more step I will smash up those headphones, grind them into a powder and feed it to the chickens!” Ben called out, causing the young man to stop mid-step. “I will then do the same to one of your testicles. I’m a reasonable man though, so I’ll let you choose which one.”

Ben wasted no time, hauling Callum over to the bed and pushing him onto it. “I’m going to the bathroom,” he said, his voice low but anything but calm. “Don’t move from here and don’t let anyone else on the bed. I don’t care if you have to kick them away, I don’t care if they have to share a bed with Satan himself. No one else is getting on here, yes?”

Callum nodded, trying not to smile at Ben’s seriousness until he had walked away. He kicked his shoes off, before putting his feet up and leaning back on the pillows. His trinkets were still on the bedside table next to him. It was almost like nothing had changed. Looking over to the empty space beside him though, he knew everything could. His eyes drifted closed.

“Is this side taken?” a voice asked, as a jacket was thrown down next to him. Callum opened his eyes and looked up to see Simon beaming down at him. “Seems everywhere else is all filled up.”

Callum scrambled to sit up, fretfully looking around the room. “Oh, I think Ben’s gonna go in here,” he said, his heartbeat speeding up. If he came back to find Simon sprawled out next to him, he wasn’t sure which one of them Ben would kill first. “He’s used to my snoring! Sleeps like a log, he does. I wouldn’t wanna inflict that on you. Oh look, there’s a single opposite. That must be the last space.”

Simon nodded, his smile fading a little, and Callum felt that nibble of guilt again. He really did seem like a nice guy. “It’s gonna get a bit lonely in the corner, by myself,” he said sadly as he picked up his jacket and strolled towards the solitary bed just a few feet from where Callum was.

“Well just shout if you need me for anything,” Callum said with a smile, before closing his eyes and wincing at his own phrasing. “Not everything obviously. Clearly not everything, but if you need a hand.”

“Who needs a hand?” Ben asked. He had approached so quietly that Callum hadn’t heard him. Or the sound of him trying to get his feet out of his own mouth had covered up the footsteps. Ben’s eyes flickered suspiciously between the two men, before he reached a hand up and gently brushed a few fingers through Callum’s hair. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.”

The atmosphere in the bedroom was loud, probably more chaotic and busy than it had been on their first night. It was clear that most people weren’t ready for sleep, and by the time he and Ben were changed and ready to settle down, the party atmosphere was still going on, with Frankie and Habiba challenging each other to a bed leaping contest that was sure to end in an A&E trip, especially when Vinney brought some more alcohol in the room.

They tried to go out to the Snug, but almost stopped in shock when they found Kush and Ruby in there. It was just a conversation, for now at least, but Kush shrugged at them apologetically. He clearly wasn’t prepared to move.

The lounge was out, with all the housemates going to and fro from the bedroom. There was nowhere left to go. It wasn’t the first occasion that Callum felt the confinement of the house, but it certainly was the most frustrating time.

Settling back where they started, they both climbed into bed. There was a moment of fear that leapt through Callum, as what he had wanted and craved was finally happening. And he didn’t really know what to do, his throat swallowing impulsively, and Simon still siting over on the single bed looking towards them. He felt exposed, and the panic drew into his stomach, letting out tingles through his whole body.

Ben knew what to do though. He always seemed to know what Callum needed, and he simply started to rub his hand under the covers, his fingers seemingly draining any uncertainty away and causing a wave of calm over Callum’s limbs instead.

He felt a little tickle at his toes, before it retracted with a gasp. “Fuck me! Why are your feet so cold?” Ben said with a laugh as he shuffled closer. “You been dipping them in ice.”

“No, the blood just don’t circulate down there as well, that’s all. It’s what happens when you’re tall,” he said, sticking his tongue out in jest.

That earned him a little light kick to the shin. “Oi!” Ben said back. “There’s plenty of me to go around, trust me. We’ve just gotta get that blood of yours going a bit lower, ain’t we. Hasn’t seemed to be a problem before.”

Callum turned his head so his nose was inches from Ben’s face. He could feel his breath warm and enticing on his cheeks, and another hand had settled on his thigh, rubbing the same rhythm that was playing out on his hand. “Fancy a cuddle?” Ben asked, his voice barely audible, but it didn’t need to be. It was loud and clear in his eyes.

The large weight suddenly thrust on top of his knees caused him to shout out in surprise, and certainly stopped the blood creeping lower. “Arrgh! Fuck!” he said, a hit of pain coursing through his body as Ben started swearing next to him. “What are you doing, Habs?”

“Sorry! Sorry!” she said, her body laying across both their legs. “I thought I could make that leap! I didn’t interrupt anything did I?”

**Day Thirty One**

There was no hope that evening, as most of the housemates didn’t make their way to bed until gone five o’clock. The atmosphere had certainly changed in the house from a time when most of them were tucked up and conked out by eleven most nights. Callum didn’t know when he eventually fell asleep, only that his hand was still in Ben’s when he did.

As usual though, Ben wasn’t there when he woke up. The rest of the housemates were starting to stir as well, the excitement of their first full day in the house overruling the sleep they probably needed. Callum left them all making their way to the lounge as he headed outside.

Immediately he heard a loud clucking, as Connie was trying to headbutt her way out of the coop. She was apparently of the opinion that her little chicken head would be able to snap a wooden post in two.

“Con, you’re gonna break your skull!” Ben called over to her. “I ain’t dealing with two sick birds. I told you I weren’t lying that he was back. She’s pissed off that I didn’t wake her last night to tell her you had made your grand return.”

Callum went and sat the other side of the fence, tentatively putting a finger through the wire. Connie rubbed her head against it affectionately, before giving it a little nibble. “Didn’t think I’d see you again when I left here,” he whispered.

“Don’t let her bite at you,” Ben warned. “Once she gets a taste she’s only gonna want more and more. She’s in too deep as it is.”

Callum nodded. “How’d you sleep last night?”

Ben stopped what he was doing and came to lean on the fence. “Well, I can’t say having grown women bouncing on my bed is my idea of a good time, but I can’t complain about the company,” he said with a smile. “Speaking of which, are you gonna make breakfast? Because I don’t think I can put up with another one of Kat and Habiba’s experiments.”

Giving a laugh, Callum stood up. “I’ll get right on it!” he replied, making his way towards the door as Ben came out from the coop. “Missy not up yet?”

“No, she’s still sleeping, the lazy thing,” Ben said as they walked through the door. He caught Callum’s arm just before they entered the house. “We’ll talk later, yeah? This afternoon in the Snug? I don’t care if Kush is in there with a whole harem, we’ll chuck him out, wet dick and all, ok?”

They both made their way over to the sofas where most of the housemates were sprawled on the seats, cups of tea steaming in their hands as they chatted lazily.

“I don’t think it’ll be till tomorrow,” Tubbs said, his voice low and authoritative. “They won’t have nominations while we’re still all getting to know each other.”

“It won’t be easy,” Frankie said with a sigh. “It’s the part I’ve been dreading the most.”

Ruby scoffed at that. “Oh come on,” she replied. “It’s just a game! No one’s gonna be crying in a corner because you said their name in the diary room.”

“It ain’t that simple though,” Kush replied, disagreeing with her. “It ain’t always that easy when you get in there and have to nominate someone you know and like.”

“It’s not about whether you like them though, is it?” Ruby replied. “You’re not choosing to vote! Big Brother orders you to, and you have to pick someone! It’s all just a game, it don’t mean that you don’t like them.”

Callum shook his head. “The fact it’s a game don’t cross your mind though,” he explained. “Just the fact you’re having to nominate someone. You might not get on with everyone all the time, but you don’t want to be the one responsible to take away their experience in here. You definitely don’t want to do that with someone you really like.”

“I don’t think you really believe that, Callum,” Ruby replied. “You clearly get on well with Ben, but you’ve still walked in there and nominated him.”

The room fell silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
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> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx


	16. Week Five (Part 2)

** Day Thirty One (continued) **

There was still silence, as though everyone was afraid of saying anything that could shift the mood. Either that or they were held in suspense, foaming at the mouth to wait and see it unfold.

Callum couldn’t look up, instead picking at the material of the sofa he was standing by, hoping that when he raised his eyes, it would have all disappeared. Perhaps if he wished hard enough, then he could make it all disappear. Maybe if he wished it at all, he could make himself disappear. That would probably be better for everyone.

Eventually the silence was broken. It had to be smashed at some point and this group wasn’t just going to ignore it, or let it go. They would examine it, dissect it till its guts dropped out in a squelch, because they weren’t the ones that would be caused pain by it. They were the ones holding the scalpel.

Kush cleared his throat, and Callum knew he was going to try and paper over the situation, as though the wall wasn’t crawling with cockroaches that were squealing into the glue and creating a horrendous bulging monster. “Yeah, well, we ain’t supposed to be talking about nominations, are we?” he muttered out, cracking the silence.

“Is it true?” Kat asked. As much as the question thumped through Callum, at least it was honest. At least it wasn’t hiding. He wished he could hide, or run. He wondered how far he could run before he was stopped.

“Don’t be stupid! Callum would never nominate, Ben!” Habiba called out. He was half flattered that she had such a high opinion of him, and half shamed that it clearly wasn’t true. It turns out he would be disappointing more than one person today.

“Of course it’s true,” Ben said, his voice flowing though like tiny little knives to his ears. He was standing right next to him, and Callum hadn’t even felt him breathe since Ruby’s outburst. He had inhaled the confession, and it had permeated his body, jaggedly creeping to every pore until he had been poisoned by it. “You don’t hear anyone denying it, do you?”

That was an exhale of all the toxic feeling that was being thrown back at him. Callum could feel the knowledge that was in Ben’s question. He knew that Callum had done it. He had known automatically, and now Callum wished he was stuck to a piece of cockroach wallpaper. It’s where he deserved to be.

Defensiveness came most naturally to him though. To try and hit away accusations, even if they were true. Especially if they were true. “It was just the once,” he replied. He sounded like some dirtbag cheating boyfriend trying to justify what he had done. Perhaps it sounded so familiar because it was rang recognisably.

Ruby decided it was the right time to pipe up again, not seeming any guilt or regret about her original revelation. “You’ve all only nominated twice though,” she said, her voice full of critique. “You say it’s only been once, but you’ve nominated him half the time!”

“It weren’t like it sounds!” Callum protested, the guilt turning to anger now, needing to go somewhere and come out in some way.

“So you didn’t go in to the diary room and try to get me booted out the house?” Ben said, turning towards him now. Callum could finally meet his eyes, and they seemed so far away. He had been hurt, and with that retreated back, putting space between them in case he got another kick in the ribs. He didn’t know how to bring Ben back, and that made him even angrier.

“Don’t twist it!” Callum replied. “You’re being ridiculous! It was week one! We’d only known each other for a few days. It meant nothing!”

As soon as the words came out, he knew how they sounded, how they would present themselves to Ben’s ears. Callum didn’t want to have this conversation here, in front of people. His words wouldn’t come out correctly. They would change and translate themselves on his tongue for public view. He didn’t want another incident like Christmas either, but this was the road they seemed to keep sliding down. At any moment, Ben could explode.

“It’s fine,” he said, scratching his nose and taking a few casual steps away. Callum narrowed his eyes. He didn’t want a fight, but he didn’t want this. This was much worse. “You’re right, of course you are. We hadn’t known each other for very long. How can you possibly make anything real in just days, or even weeks. It’s nothing. It means nothing.”

With that, Ben rounded to the sofa and sat down in the group. Callum was standing there by himself. Alone. Just like he had always felt. Just like he had always been. To have it back again though, after getting a taster of something different, something that encased him in lightness and hope, it just made it all worse. Like a bird who had managed to soar and fly through the sky, but was now grounded. The memory of the freeness in your wings made the solid floor under your feet feel limiting.

“Oh, God, they’re not going to put us all up for nomination again, are they?” Habiba moaned. “Now Ruby’s vomited up that information, they’re going to punish us somehow, aren’t they? Please not the hair straighteners! I looked like a bear with a perm last time!”

“I keep forgetting that you lot have seen everything!” Vinney exclaimed to the new housemates around him. “What else do you know?”

Callum ignored the glances they shared, and pretended that they weren’t watching. If he just pretended, then it didn’t happen. It made him want to curl up in a corner somewhere, hide in a toy chest where no one could find him, where no one could see him and no one could look.

“Do you think we might get a task today?” Kat asked, and Callum felt she was trying to change the subject, even if it may have been for her own benefit.

“Yeah, dig Ruby out of jail!” Tubbs laughed.

“They won’t do that will they?” the woman replied, screwing up her nose in disgust at the thought she may be trapped in a cage. “It was just a slip of the tongue. No harm done.”

Callum tried to catch Ben’s eye, to try and show him he wanted to talk. It didn’t work.

** Day Thirty Two **

Ben had ignored him the whole day, even just rolling over and going to sleep when he eventually came to bed. Callum had tried to brush his shoulder, attempted to get his attention, but he was just shook off with a shrug. The next morning, as usual, he was gone.

There was no point even trying to talk to him, it just seemed to be back to the same horrendous atmosphere as before Callum was evicted. The only difference now was that the rest of the house was vibrant and full of laughter and shouts. All he could do was stand on the sidelines, feeling further and further out of sync with everyone around him. It was like trying to complete a dance routine that you didn’t know, when everyone else had hours of rehearsal. He just didn’t fit in.

Thankfully, he had the kitchen to spend his time in, and was pleased with Habiba’s company. It felt like a whisper of normality and the small act of cooking with her comforted him. It felt just like it used to.

Well, it would have if Simon hadn’t been perched on a stall by the counter, chatting away to them happily.

“…and it is really worthwhile work, and I’m proud of that, but there just isn’t time to meet anyone,” he waffled out.

Callum was pretty much silent, just offering a smile every now and then as Simon had given his full romantic history in as many different anecdotes as he could manage. Habiba could barely get a word in, but that seemed to suit her, just merely mumbling her agreement every time Simon had to take a breath, as she tried to crack open some eggs with a knife.

“Callum, which part goes in the omelette?” she asked, stabbing another through its shell. “The snotty bit or the orange crème centre?”

“…It’s hard to know where to find someone decent, you know?” Simon continued.

“All of it, Habs!” he explained, as she scooped them out into a bowl with her knife. “An omelette is just eggs! Crack the rest of them in and the give them a mix.”

“…trying to go and dates, and then hope they’re the one…”

“With this?” Habiba asked, holding up a utensil.

Callum tutted in her direction. “No!” he exclaimed, grabbing it out of her hand. “That’s a pizza cutter! Use something you can mix properly.”

“…you want someone you can spend some time-“

“Whipping?” Habiba called out. Both Simon and Callum stopped and looked at her. “The eggs? I need to whip them up, right?”

Nodding as he carried on cutting up some salad, Callum wished his mood was better. He usually enjoyed these times, and cooking was always his catharsis, but there was a little niggle in his body and his mind. A little scurrying thought that just wouldn’t let him settle, that wouldn’t let him enjoy anything.

“I know some people come out quite late, and I get how it’s so hard for them. I was quite lucky in that respect. It hasn’t seemed to make a difference to my love life though. All these years later I’m still looking for my last first date!” Simon continued.

Callum could feel it as he was shredding the lettuce. He could feel Simon’s eyes on him, and it was uncomfortable. It was relentless, even though the other man hadn’t done anything wrong. He felt an expectation though, like he was supposed to be responding differently, and that just hit him with more guilt.

“Callum! I have egg all over my hands!” Habiba called out, throwing down the ladle she was using to whisk the eggs. “I need my moisturiser from my make up bag before they start to wrinkle up. Can you come open it for me please?”

Callum put down the knife and looked at Habiba staring at him wide eyed and heading towards the bedroom door. “Sure,” he replied slowly, following her.

Simon furrowed his brow curiously. “You need someone to help you open a make up bag?” he asked with suspicion.

“It’s Dior, Simon!” she said waving her hands at him. “It’s not designed to be egg proof! Would you mind finishing off while we’re gone? The omelette still needs ladling a bit more!”

Callum followed Habiba into the bedroom, stopping to lean by the toilet door when she went in to wash her hands. As she started to towel dry them, she burst out laughing. “How strongly can you come on to someone?” she said, patting him on the arm as she made her way back into the bedroom. “It was like that time Peter Andre stood naked outside my window with nothing but a small piece of baklava to hide his modesty! Some people just can’t get the hint!”

Habiba went over to the bed. His and Ben’s bed. She dropped down onto the duvet before scowling and wriggling a little. Sitting up, she plumped up a pillow enthusiastically, accidentally knocking the bedside table, flinging the thimble that rested on the suface behind it.

Callum’s heart belted at his chest when he saw the small, metal object disappear into the dark gap. Ben had left it on there. He kept leaving thigs on Callum’s side, not being bothered to walk around the other side of the bed, but he felt that this was done on purpose. It wasn’t there for convenience. It was done as a challenge. They were still communicating without words.

“Shit!” Habiba exclaimed, getting off the bed and reaching behind the cabinet. “Sorry! Don’t worry, I’ll get it! When we were hiding out for the week before we got in here, I accidently set my handler’s phone on fire, but I managed to put it out and it was as good as new afterwards!”

“I bet she loved you for that!” Callum said giving a chuckle.

“I think she really liked me actually,” Habiba said, still fumbling her arm around. “It was nice to have someone to talk to at least! I didn’t think I could do it, locking down for a whole seven days, not leaving the room, no phone, not talking to anyone else and having my handler as the only face I saw! She was lovely when she put me in the car to come here though. She said she was more excited than I was that I was going in the house. Isn’t that sweet?”

“Yeah,” Callum said with a smile and a nod. He looked towards the door. “Shouldn’t we go see how Simon’s getting on? We’ve just left him to finish off the whole meal.”

Habiba stopped her rummaging for a minute, to turn and make a face. “He’ll be fine! He’s probably imagining that he’s cooking a romantic dinner for two!” she said with a giggle.

Callum shook his head. “He’s probably just hoping someone’s watching that fancies him!” he explained. “He’s hoping they hear him talking about wanting a relationship and then there might be someone that he’s into when he gets out!”

“The only place he wants into is your pants!” she muttered back, sighing when she was trying to twist her arm into the small space.

“Habs!” Callum said, rubbing his face with his hands. “He’s been watching the show, ain’t he? He’ll know I’m taken!”

“Ah ha!” she exclaimed, pulling out her hand from behind the cabinet with some items enclosed. “And eww! Big Brother really needs to provide us with better cleaning products. I’m tired of trying to hoover the floor with what is essentially a paint roller on a stick!”

Habiba placed the items she picked out from behind the table onto the bed, wincing a little as she noticed what the second one showed, the photo smiling up at both of them.

“It was taken at a wedding,” Callum said, nodding down at the picture without trying to look at it. He picked up the thimble, holding it in his hand until the cold silver started to warm with life. “She was bridesmaid for a mate.”

“God, poor Wendy!” Habiba said, screwing up her face. “It must have been some bridezilla that put her is a dress the shape and colour of a bell pepper!”

Callum looked at the bed, sensing Habiba chewing her lip, unsure what to say even for her. He quickly got up and put the picture in the drawer slamming it shut behind him.

The thimble though, he brought that up to his mouth, going to perch on the bed. It felt warm against his lips. “I don’t think he’s that angry at you,” Habiba said, moving to come sit next to Callum. “He’ll understand it was only the first week. He didn’t kick off or anything, did he?”

Callum shook his head. “That’s worse,” he explained. “He’s keeping his gob shut and that ain’t a good sign. If I could just sit him down calmly and explain it to him properly, then maybe he’d get it.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two have a calm chat,” she replied with a role of her eyes. “Watching you two converse is like going to see the fireworks. Sometimes it’s bright and light and crackles, and sometimes it just explodes with a bang.”

Callum nodded then reached over the duvet to put the thimble back on Ben’s bedside table. “Well at the moment, it feels like the fuse has been lit and I’m trying to figure out if it’s just delayed in going off or if I need to approach it.”

“That seems dangerous,” Habiba replied, patting his hand comfortingly. “But why do I feel that doesn’t put you off?”

“We should probably go back,” Callum said, clearing his throat. He didn’t want to talk about it for the moment. “We’ve left poor Simon doing all our work.”

Habiba chuckled. “Please! He’s relishing the opportunity to be the knight in shining omelette armour! You really don’t see it, do you?” she said.

“I honestly think he’s just trying to make friends. It ain’t easy coming in here, Habs,” Callum said. “We all know each other, don’t we? It ain’t nice when you feel like an outsider. I know he came in with other people too, but sometimes you just feel like you’re on the outskirts. You feel like everyone is grouping together and you’re just standing a little way behind, no matter how hard you try and join in. You can never quite get there; you’re always the one lingering in the background, staring in with your nose pressed up at the window.”

“Okay! Okay! It’s his funeral. I can’t say the way he’s going that he’s looking very timid. He must feel the eyes digging holes in the back of his head whenever he gets within three feet of you.” She paused, thinking through her next response. “Just leave Ben for now, yeah? Give him some time.”

Callum gave it an hour. That was all his nerves could take; he couldn’t sit there and chat with Kat, or do the washing up with Vinney while Ben was still walking around, not understanding why Callum nominated him.

Ben had been in the diary room for a while, so Callum came to wait outside with the chickens, knowing that’s where he would head.

Leaning against the coop fence, he didn’t dare go in just in case Ben had already let them know that Callum had nominated him. It would be like one of those scenes where a swarm of little insects take down a huge spider and carries it off to their lair to slowly rip it apart, digesting it slowly and while it was still alive.

He thought he could already notice Glory poking her tongue out at him, licking her beaky lips and eyeing up his which part of his body had the most meat on it. Even more worryingly, Missy was sitting and roosting in the corner, not looking at him directly with her undercover chicken spy glare. That just meant that at any moment he looked away, he was likely to have her feathery black rounded form flying at him like a clucky blob bomb, attaching herself to his face to give ultimate access to pluck his eyes out of his head, and force them down his throat so he choked to death on them.

Everything was quiet in the coop though, even Connie was just nudging her head against the gate, trying to subtly let him know that he could let her out or he could come in. Callum didn’t know what it was about Ben that always made the adrenaline fly through his body at any point, always made him feel heightened. It was delicious, and painful in equal measure.

He couldn’t just stand still though; Kush was in the middle of chatting to Ruby, so he decided to work out by himself, try and get rid of some of the energy that kept itching at him.

Callum didn’t warm up as much as he should have, or just jog slowly around the garden like the sensible thing to do would have been. Instead he pushed himself, sprinting from one side of the garden to the other, the breath expanding his chest, pressing it harder and harder, his legs aching, the acid bubbling and shooting through, every twist of his body stretching the muscles where he refused to slow down when turning.

Eventually, all the feeling dropped to his leg, spasming and stabbing and he had to fall down then. If you keep trying to fly through the pain, then you’ll always crash. He threw out some heavy breaths as he lay on the grass on his back, clutching at his leg, the pain feeling harsh and relentless and just what he needed.

“Callum? Are you okay?” he heard a voice say in the back of his head, behind the sound of the wheezing breaths. The banging footsteps running over pounded through his body, before a hand fluttered against his leg. “Did you fall?”

Shaking his head, Callum winced a little, more at the intrusion of the gentle fingertips taking the pain, which he craved more than anything else, away from his body. “I’m fine, honest,” he said, shuffling his leg over a little to escape the touch. “Just a little bit of cramp. It’ll pass.”

“Come on, don’t be a hero,” Simon replied jokingly, placing his hand back on Callum’s thigh. “This is my job, let me help.”

“I thought you was a paramedic not a physiotherapist,” Callum said, and Simon dug his fingertips into the muscle. “Not many 999 calls about cramp, surely.”

“I took a course at the local community college in essential oil massage,” he said shuffling closer. “You never know where or when you’re gonna meet the right person. You’ve got to grab it with both hands and not let go when you do find it.”

“Well you’re certainly going in hands deep. No chance of that grip sliding off.”

Callum turned his head around at the voice, to see Ben standing in the garden, watching them with his arms folded, eyes harsh and mouth pursed.

“I just had a bit of cramp,” Callum called out. “Simon was just trying to get it for me.”

“I’m well aware what Simon was trying to get a hold of,” he bit back, before turning to the man who still had a grip on Callum’s thigh. “Hop it! He don’t need handling, if you’re that desperate to finger something go do it to yourself!”

“Ben!” Callum said, rolling over and heaving himself up.

“Its fine, Callum,” Simon responded, rubbing him on the back. “I promised Vinney I’d give him a spare toothbrush anyway. I’ll go dig it out for him.”

As he walked away, Callum started to knock the grass away from the back of his leg. Ben just stood there in silence looking at him. It was annoying Callum now, the diversion of discussion, the conversation that was being said just been looks, and non-looks, between presence and absence. It was getting too much.

“You gotta ask yourself, what’s Vin been using if he ain’t had a toothbrush till now?” Callum said with a weak chuckle. It was a joke to try and break the tension, but it failed. It didn’t even leave a jagged scratch. “You ready to chat in the Snug then? Like you said? A day or two too late, but now we’re both here.”

Ben looked behind him, his arms still folded and for a moment Callum thought he would just walk off. Perhaps it was the fact there were limited places to escape to, or the prospect of having to live through these awful, intolerable silences, but Ben nodded and slowly went towards the small wooded shed in the corner, opening it up and signalling Callum inside.

The blankets were all out of place, with cushions scattered everywhere. It felt destructed, it felt like walking into someone else’s home. And he couldn’t even bring himself to sit down. They didn’t belong here.

“Look, I know you’re still pissed off about the nomination, and I get that,” he started, as Ben merely leaned against the door and folded his arms again. He looked down, so Callum couldn’t properly see his face. He hated not seeing his eyes. “But it was only the first week. It was ages ago.”

“Three weeks!” Ben called back at him, suddenly and sharply, as if a cork had exploded out the bottle. “It was only three weeks ago, Callum! It weren’t that long!”

“Well, we ain’t known each other that long, had we?!” Callum shouted back, his voice needing to raise, needing for Ben to know what he was saying. “You can’t blame me for something that happened a few days after I met you! It ain’t like I did it in the last nominations!”

Ben pushed himself off the door. “How do I know that?” he said, pointing in the direction of the Diary Room. “Maybe I’ve been so out of my mind in-“ he stopped and controlled himself for second. “Maybe this place has fucked up my head so much that I can’t get a good read! Maybe I was right all along, and you are just a coward, and everything I’ve done has been for nothing! Why didn’t you tell me you nominated me? Why let me find out from some jumped up little madam who’s trying to piss everywhere and make her mark?”

Callum shrugged. He had wanted to tell him, he was going to tell him but he was afraid of what would happen once it all came out. He was afraid this would happen. “Because it’s against the rules, ain’t it?” he said quietly, the weak excuse falling from his lips. “We ain’t supposed to talk about nominations.”

“Well, you’ve just broken that by telling me you didn’t nominate me the second time!” Ben huffed back at him. “Don’t make out you’re some do gooder housemate! You ain’t above a rule break, as long as you can justify it! That’s what your confession is now. It’s alright to tell me because it’s digging you out of a hole. Or at least you think it is.”

“What about you then?” Callum shot back. He wasn’t going to be taking all the hits. “You ain’t telling me everything, I know you ain’t! It goes both ways, Ben! You can’t lecture me about keeping things from you, while at the same time something’s eating you up inside!”

“I don’t care about the nomination!” Ben shouted back, deflecting the comment. “I don’t! I can’t say I didn’t think it anyway! It’s just the tip of the iceberg though, ain’t it?”

Callum scoffed. It was all being turned on him. He was doing the best he could. Why was that never good enough? “What, is this about Simon?” he asked, Ben’s eye roll immediately annoying him. “I’m allowed to speak to other people. No one gets to tell me who I can speak to! No one!”

“You want him all over you like that do you?” Ben remarked. “And don’t start spouting his shit that it’s a part of his job. He’s a paramedic, Callum. He’s supposed to slip an oxygen mask on, not slip his hand up your shorts.”

“That weren’t what he was doing!” he said. He wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe that someone could just like him, and not doing it to benefit themselves in some way. That they weren’t just out for what they could get for themselves, sweetening him up, making him feel wanted and cared for, and then just dropping him when it was convenient for them, or when he’d served his purpose. Why did everyone treat him like that? “I don’t want him, obviously!”

“What do you want, Callum?” Ben said softly. “That’s what this is all about, ain’t it? What it was about before they packed you off to your secret hideout? Can you stand there and tell me what it is you want? Stand there out loud, not with half a jug of margaritas down you or hidden under a blanket, or with the cameras covered, and tell me what you want.”

Callum stood in silence. How could he do that? How could he stand here and say out loud exactly what he wanted? When in his life had he ever been able to do that? That’s what happened to other people; they could just blurt out what they wanted, and they got it. That didn’t happen to him. That would never happen to him, so why even take the risk? Not getting what you wanted was bad enough, but then to suffer the humiliation of rejection, of people knowing your deepest, darkest secrets and hanging them in a noose over your head. Well, there wasn’t anything that could get him to do that.

“Just what I thought,” Ben said back. “I’ve said this before, Callum. I ain’t here to force you to do anything, but I can’t pull you all the way either. I won’t. I think we need to be real about this. I think we need to take a step back. A proper one this time.”

“A step back? What does that mean?” he said approaching Ben, tipping his chin towards him so he could look into his eyes. He needed to see his eyes. “A step back from what?”

“Where this is heading. Where its always been heading,” Ben replied, his eyes darting to the side so they weren’t facing Callum’s face. “Where it can’t head anymore. So we’re gonna stop. We’re gonna stop the little messages, we’re gonna stop all those things that aren’t said or done out loud. We’re gonna stop. I’m tired of hiding in the shadows.”

Callum nodded, gulping into his swallow, and letting go of Ben’s face. He didn’t want the tears to spill from his eyes, so he let the spiked words fall from his tongue instead. “Well, I wouldn’t wanna let my life get in the way of your plans,” he said, moving to walk past Ben, not even looking at him as he threw the door open. “Distance sounds good. Keep the hell away from me.”

As he walked out, he almost bumped straight into Habiba, Kat and Dotty who were outside the door, and who quickly moved back when he exited with a flying burst from The Snug. They were doing a lousy job of pretending to look at the shrubs.

He didn’t look back though. Callum didn’t stop when Kush was on his way outside carrying a mug of tea and he almost ran into him. He didn’t stop when Simon called to ask if he was alright or when he almost tripped into Tubbs. He didn’t stop until he reached the bathroom and shut himself in the toilet.

Callum gave the door a few kicks, stubbing his toe hard until the surface rattled and the anger had travelled down to just the one area and lightened the rest of his body. It felt airy and vacant now though, as if there were nothing in it, and his legs fell to the floor weightlessly, just the pounding of his foot to serve as a reminder of the pain.

The toilet cubicle was private from the other housemates, but there was still the camera in the corner. He was tired of being looked at and tired at being seen. Callum screwed himself up into the wall and hid his face into his arms.

There was a sudden clattering as the door opened. “Cake?”

Callum peeked an eye up, and shook his head in disbelief. “What?”

“Cake?” Frankie said, shuffling into the room with a napkin in tow. “We haven’t really talked much since I got here. I thought this would be a perfect time.”

He couldn’t help himself; Callum let out a laugh and sniffed back his tears. “Well if you can’t get to know someone when they’re hiding out and crying in a toilet, when can you?” he said, moving round so she could sit opposite him. “What cake is it?”

“Chocolate,” she said, taking a pinch with her finger and thumb and putting it to her lips. “That’s the flavour you always have when you fight with a boy, didn’t you know? Lemon is a bad day, Red Velvet is when the person you fancy doesn’t know you’re alive, and you have a Victoria Sponge when you make an idiot of yourself.”

“Well, I should have all four then! It was a stupid fight anyway. He didn’t want to hear anything I said,” Callum replied, before giving a quirk of a smile. “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know him,” she said, with a shake of her head. “He won’t talk to me, or hasn’t yet. He seems not to want me here. I had both him and the chickens glaring at me this morning when I was having a coffee on the bench.”

“I’m sorry,” Callum said. “He ain’t usually like that. It ain’t about you.”

Frankie gave a laugh. “I know, but I’m not quite sure he’s the warm and cuddly type on the best day.”

“He is,” Callum said, eating another piece of cake. “He’s sweet, and alive, and makes everything feel alright. He makes everything feel like its worth doing. You know when you can’t quite think of a word? It’s on the tip of your tongue but you can’t quite find it? It’s like I’ve had that feeling all my life and now I suddenly know what the word is.”

“He also got a sulk on him!” she said, handing Callum the napkin and brushing her hands as she stood up. “But if he thinks he can unnerve me by getting his birds to laser eye me across the garden, he’s got another thing coming!”

“Yeah, he ain’t exactly backwards in letting you know when he ain’t happy,” Callum said, taking a bit of the cake. It was here, he might as well eat it. “He’s got a lot going on, Frank; he’ll come around.”

She gave him a nod. “I’m gonna go back out. Big Brother have said they’re giving us some alcohol tonight. They must think some of us need some cheering up.”

“I’ll be out in a minute,” he said, as she went back through the door. If there was any moment in here that he needed a drink, it was now.

“That weren’t half,” Tubbs remarked, swigging back his beer. “That were barely a nibble.”

Vinney gulped down a glug of milk from the glass, opening his mouth and breathing out with a grimace on his face. “It was half!” he insisted. “Kush, weren’t it half a chilli? Look, that were a good three inches in length and I’ve had almost two!”

“It didn’t look quite like half to me mate,” Kush said with a shrug. “Think that chilli was bigger than three inches.”

“That were more like five, Vin!” Kat called out. “You’re the first bloke on earth to undersell the length of something!”

Vinney took another long sip of milk. “Look, I did the challenge; I ate the chilli and now my tongue is burning off!” he said, leaning back in frustration. “I think it was an unfair dare to be honest.”

“I was being kind with that one!” Dotty said, sipping on her wine. “You’re lucky it’s your mouth I told you to put it on!”

Slamming the milk down in horror, he looked gobsmacked at the young woman. “You were gonna have me get the goods out on show? Is that what this game is gonna be? Us getting our bits out on camera?”

“No, it’s not!” Dotty replied with her roll of her eyes. “We ain’t in uni dorms, put your eyes back in your head! I’m not gonna dare you to lick Tubb’s balls, or anything! I was just gonna get you to shove it down your pants. I don’t know what you’re complaining about anyway. The amount you let your towel drop in the bathroom, you’d think there was an industrial fan blowing it all over the place.”

“Well if anyone wants to dare me to go into someone’s pants, then I’m game!” Kat said, draining her glass. “If you’re gonna nibble at the bacon, you might as well swallow down the whole hog, eh?”

Dotty pulled her face into a grimace. “Literally every word you just said made my skin crawl.”

“Nah, Dot, that’ll just be blood trying to be pumped through from your stone cold heart.”

“Fuck off, Ben!” she spat back, as he dissolved in laughter before knocking back his beer.

Callum couldn’t help but notice he was on his third already, or as he slammed down the bottle, finished his third beer. Big Brother hadn’t stinged on the alcohol that night it seemed, or perhaps it seemed more because of the increase due to the new housemates. Either way, it seemed like a lot of them weren’t shying away from diving straight in there.

That included him. He knew how this always ended, he knew what happened if he drank too much, but he also knew that he needed his body to buzz differently today. He needed something today to take away from the thunder clouds settling in his chest.

It was Ruby who had suggested a game of Truth or Dare, when they all sat around the sofa, piling all the delivered alcohol onto the table. There was a reluctance at first, before anyone had a sip of dutch courage to spill their hidden secrets or to humiliate themselves on camera. Callum tended to think he didn’t need a game to do those things, they just seemed to happen to him naturally. He had managed to avoid a turn so far, nipping to the loo or to go get a snack just at the right time; he wasn’t sure it could be avoided forever though.

Less than an hour later, and with over half the alcohol being drunk, laughter cackled out as Kat straddled Tubbs and shoved her boobs into his face. “This don’t feel much of a dare, if I’m honest!” she said, running her hands down his chest while he grabbed onto her hips. “I would pay good money for this!”

“Yeah, well you can thank me later!” Ruby said, sipping her drink through her straw. “I like to make sure people are happy and satisfied!”

Callum couldn’t help but notice that Kush was very quiet and focusing on playing with the ring pull of his can. He couldn’t look. He couldn’t blame him.

“Give me another half hour and I’m sure I’d come away very satisfied!” she replied, hopping off Tubbs, giving her chest a last jiggle in his face, before taking a gulp of wine as she staggered back to sit down. They should stop soon, Callum thought as he took a long sip of the rum and cola can that Simon had passed to him. They should all stop before someone got hurt.

“Come on, who’s next then?” Ruby said, before turning around to have a look. “Frankie, you next isn’t it?”

The young woman shook her head. “No way!” she insisted. “I had to take Callum’s turn last time, remember? I still can’t get the taste of raw aubergine out my mouth, no matter how much of this wine I drink!”

“Good point! Callum, you haven’t had a turn yet, have you?” Ruby said, sitting up on her knees. “Truth or dare?”

Gulping down his drink to try and delay his answer for a little longer, the question fluttered back and forth through his mind. What would be the least painful? What could he get through with the least amount of embarrassment and attention? For one thing, he knew he didn’t want to jiggle his boobs in Tubbs’ face, so he went with the one he could get out of the easiest. “Truth.”

By the grin on Ruby’s face, that was clearly the selection that she was hoping he would choose. Now he regretted his decision, when he could just be jumping in the pool fully clothed or drinking a smoothie made of pickles and ketchup. Instead, he’d have to face a question that he might have to lie to, in a place where lies could be unravelled in a second.

“Alright,” Ruby said. “Give all the names you can remember of everyone you’ve ever slept with.”

Callum fidgeted nervously, unsure how to lie with this one. His mind was fuzzy with the alcohol, worried that if he just made up some names then he wouldn’t remember them if he had to repeat them again. God, he wished he’d picked the boob jiggling option now.

“That’s not fair on them though!” Habiba protested. “You can’t just announce the people you’ve had sex with; they could be watching with their family!”

He could have kissed Habiba then, or at least brought her in for the longest squnch, but instead he just nodded along in agreement with her, the mixture of alcohol slowing his brain and not bringing words to his mouth very easily. Callum was just happy that he wouldn’t have to answer the question.

“I’m not asking for their full names and addresses!” Ruby responded with a laugh, “Just give us all the first names you remember! If there’s anyone that’s got some one-of-a-kind, unique name then you can leave them out! I’ll even start you off, look. Number one: Whitney.”

Callum blood buzzed at hearing her name, even more so from someone else’s lips. He’d never said her name in front of Ruby. She knew it though. She knew a lot, and that was the information she chose to reveal. That’s what she wanted him to know.

“Leave him alone, Ruby. Give him a different question,” Ben said, almost knocking his bottle down when he was gesturing from where he was sitting by the coffee table.

Deep down, Callum knew he was trying to get him out of a question he didn’t want to answer. But it bothered him. It bothered Callum that Ben knew he didn’t want to answer the question, it bothered him that he probably knew why, and it bothered him that he was having to rely on someone else to fight this battle for him. At this moment in time, he didn’t want to feel ashamed about who he was and what he had done. Or not done, as the case may be.

“That’s it,” he said quietly, scratching his nail down the can. “She’s the only one.”

There was a silence, just the squeaking of his thumb on the metal surface filling his ears. He knew what people thought, or what they could be thinking. He was always aware of that, always filling his mind with how they thought about him, all those critiques and negatives that must go through their minds. How they looked at him and must wonder why he was so different.

“It’s romantic,” Frankie said suddenly. “To only have sex if you really like someone.”

“Yeah!” Kat agreed, nodding her head a little too enthusiastically. “Right little diamond you are!”

Vinney let out a long breath. “Mate, I’ve gotta hold my hand up to you,” he said shaking his head. “I don’t know if I could have held out that long, but you’re marrying the girl and I’m here single, so maybe that’s the way to go!”

Ruby smiled at him, raising her glass to her lips. “You must really love her, Callum,” she said, cocking her head slightly. “She must feel really special.”

“I’m bored of this game now,” Ben said, grabbing another beer. He glanced around for the bottle opener, coming right in front of Callum to look for it round the coffee table. “I’m tired of scuttling around the point.”

That was a directed comment, and Callum felt his annoyance level raise again with their closeness. He wanted to grab onto him, to pull him to him. He wanted to touch him and put his hands on him, and he wanted to be touched in turn. Why was it always so difficult?

Instead, he grabbed the bottle from Ben’s hand, and clipped it on the table, the top flipping off and rattling onto the surface. Callum passed the beer back without even looking.

“Wow! That’s impressive!” Simon said, sitting the other side of him. “You’re talented with your hands, Callum. You’ll have to show me sometime.”

“Fuck’s sake,” Ben muttered out, as he went to sit back the other side of the table. “Are we gonna change the game or what?”

“Well, rather than show our talents with our hands, why don’t we start with our mouths?” Ruby said, clearing the rest of the alcohol off the table. She held up one of the empty beer bottles and waved it at the rest of the housemates. “Who fancies a spin?”

Kush gave a scoff of a laugh. “What are we twelve now?” he said, though Callum noticed he was one of the first to scoot forward and sit around the table. “Right, fine. What are the ground rules?”

“Dealer’s choice! Though it has to be on the lips! Your mouth lips!” Ruby answered as Kat started to ask for clarification. “No do-over spins, what you land on is what you get. If you refuse then you have to face a forfeit. Everyone in? Callum we understand if you want to sit out, what with you getting married soon. You wouldn’t want it to look like you’re cheating now, would you?”

He didn’t want to take part in the stupid game, but he also didn’t want to give in to Ruby. “Nah, it’ll be fine,” he remarked as he slid onto the floor next to Habiba. “Just a bit of fun, ain’t it?”

“I have mouth spray if anyone needs it!” Habiba said, shaking the bottle in the air. “I once went for seven minutes in heaven with four of the members of Five! One had bad breath and it made it into seven minutes of garlicy hell!”

“I’ll go first!” Ruby said, giving the bottle a spin on the table. Callum thought he could practically feel the lasers beam out of Vinney’s eyes, willing it to stop in front of him. It didn’t though, instead slowing down to his right. “Looks like fate, Kush!”

There was a pursed look from Kat, as Ruby made her way round to the man who was smiling. It was the fretful smile of a male mantis who knew he was about to get his end away, but desperately trying to ignore the fact he would be eaten shortly after.

Ruby wasted no time, there was clearly no nerves there as she threw her arms around his neck and sucked him into her mouth with a fervency that was almost alarming. She knew exactly what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to go get it. Callum hated her.

Eventually, she unhinged her jaw and Kush wound his tongue back into his mouth. “Just a little taster!” she said with a wink, as she scuttled back to her table. “If you spin it right again, I’ll give you something to really get your teeth into.”

Without wasting any time, Kush spun the bottle. Callum saw Ruby narrow her eyes when it landed on Habiba. It was clear exactly where she had set her sights though, and he was sure that wasn’t the last he’d see them together. Though he hoped it would be less graphic.

Habiba shuffled over towards Kush, raising her spray and signalling for him to open his mouth, squirting in a few spritzes before she nodded approvingly. “Though, keep your mouth shut! Don’t think your lips are even going to open enough to fit an ant’s pinkie finger in!” she ordered. “Close, please.”

It was the briefest of kisses, just a peck on a lips, but they both smiled sweetly afterwards. The rum in his drink was going to his head, but Callum felt his heart flutter a little. There was a softness, a genuine affection and a care that was evident; one that was severely lacking during Kush and Ruby’s tonsil examination.

Callum leaned back, the game continuing in a fuzz around him. That was the good thing about having a drink; it took away the constant, exhausting anxiety and worry that held hands with every thought that appeared in his head. If only for a little while, it was a welcome relief to just feel the numbness for a minute. Habiba spun and landed on Dotty, and he vaguely heard Ben make a comment about soul sucking. It went on, the bottle spinning hypnotically as people leaned in and out of his blurred view. His attention only woke up a little when Habiba shoved him violently to the side.

“Oh look! Me again!” she said in a high pitched voice, continuing to shuffle Callum over. “Open up so I can spray you, Simon!”

Callum looked at the bottle on the table that was pointed between him and Habiba, right in the middle now, but clearly it would have landed on him if he hadn’t been knocked to the side.

“Actually, I think it’s slightly more towards, Callum,” Ruby said, leaning in to take a closer look. “Don’t you think, Simon?”

“I would say it’s a little more over to his side,” the man answered, smiling back at him expectantly.

Before Callum could start to panic and bolt like a doe, he had Habiba crawling across his body, grabbing Simon by the shirt and pulling him down for a kiss that started on his lips but ended up near his nostril. “There! You’ve had the toll paid, so no take backs!” she replied. “Right, me spinning again is it? I should have brought my lip gloss out!”

As the game continued again, Callum couldn’t help but notice Simon creeping closer and pressing his side against him. It was warm, and almost a little comforting. It didn’t feel quite right though. It felt artificial, like a piece of wax fruit.

Even he had to laugh though, when Dotty spun and the bottle landed on Ben, even just for the appalled look on both their faces. With a huff and a sigh though, Dotty leaned over and gave Ben a peck on the lips. “No, still a frog!” she responded, leaning back into her space.

“It’s the shock that you actually went for my lips rather than draw out your fangs and puncture my neck!” Ben said laughing, spinning the bottle. “You’ll never impress your vampire nest with a lacklustre attitude like that.”

Callum noticed Ben’s laugh disappeared suddenly though, and when he looked up all eyes were focused towards him. He didn’t need to look at the table to know where the bottle was pointed.

“What, are we all just gonna sit here looking at each other all night?” Ruby asked, tapping her fingers as though she was actually late and this was delaying her.

Dotty tutted in her direction. “We don’t need you to tell us what to do,” she snarled back at the woman. “It’s a game, not a written law. They can do as they like.”

Ben still wasn’t moving though. He was holding the bottle in his hand, picked up from the table as though he could hide what it had shown. It hurt Callum that there was so much reluctance there, that Ben didn’t seem to want to go anywhere near him. He had meant what he said before. He really had taken a step back.

Callum wasn’t about to sit here and be rejected in front of everyone. The wine, rum and beer were doing their job and he managed to stumble up and shuffle round to the other side of the table, almost stepping on Frankie’s foot on the way, before dropping down on the floor.

Ben was still playing with the bottle in his fingers, passing it from one hand to the next. Callum reached over and pulled it out harshly, but he still couldn’t get Ben’s eyes on him. It was frustrating, wanting something so badly but not being able to say it out loud. You felt locked in, like you were screaming in a desert. You just knew that no matter how much the pain soared, no one would hear you.

There was touch though, small gestures that could convey a little meaning, and Callum quickly reached up and stroked Bens face with the back of his finger. That got his attention. That forced his eyes up, narrowed and questioning. It was impossible, this balance they were trying to find, like tuning in a radio. The perfect song was playing; the most beautiful, harmonious lilting lyrics and a powerful rhythmic base with the most intense unforgettable melody. But there was still static, the button kept being moved too far one way, and too far the other. It just wasn’t quite there yet.

Ben sat up on his knees and ran his hand up and down Callum’s forearm. It relaxed his muscles automatically, eased his grip on the bottle. His eyes felt heavy and he could feel the pink of his cheeks amp up. They were already hot from the alcohol, but now the anticipation was causing them to burn.

Callum kept blinking to keep the blur out of his eyes, and to try and capture Ben’s. When they did, they were dark, still questioning though, still checking and darting to and fro as if they couldn’t make up their mind.

It was as though he was waiting for Callum to make the move, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t his turn.

Ben seemed to make the decision for him though putting his hand behind Callum’s head, and softly scratching the hair at his neck. He leaned in closer to Callum, and he couldn’t barely bear it. The anticipation mixed with the want, and his head just fucking up his thoughts that were spinning. Everything just spinning, and he’d never wanted anything more in his life, but he’d also never wanted to be anywhere but here so badly.

It wasn’t until Ben’s lips swerved and brushed against his cheek that Callum could feel his heart bounce a little down from where it had settled on his tongue. It was a mixture of feelings. It was soothing and invigorating, and that peeled through to his bones. He wanted more though. It wasn’t enough.

Everyone was watching, he knew all their eyes were focused onto where Ben’s lips were brushing his cheek. Callum wanted more, he craved more but he couldn’t ask, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t make it seem that it was all him. Because what if they were rejected, right here in front of everyone? What if he finally tried to take something he wanted and it was snatched from his grasp with a hideous mocking laugh?

Instead he closed his eyes, relishing in the sensation of Ben so close to him, of his lips pressed against his skin. They fluttered open though when suddenly his cheek felt empty, and Ben leaned back with a quirk of his mouth and with soft eyes.

“That doesn’t count, Ben!” Ruby called out. “It’s supposed to be on the lips!”

Turning around and glaring at her, Ben licked his lips slightly. Callum wanted to lean forward and taste them. It wouldn’t take much, just a little movement. Why couldn’t he do something he wanted so badly?

“She is right, mate,” Kush said with a shrug. “That was part of the rules. We’ve all had to put up with it.”

“Oh yeah, you seemed really hard done by!” Ben argued back. “You weren’t exactly recoiling away in horror when the bottle landed on you, were you?”

Callum felt a spike go through his body, as if someone had just stabbed him in the back with a garden rake, the muddy rusty spokes oozing his blood out cold and it tightened every nerve that ran through him. Is that what Ben thought when the bottle landed on him? Is that why he didn’t move towards him? Because he was horrified at the thought of kissing him?

It wasn’t as though he was unaware; he remembered the time before when Ben had said he wanted to kiss him. That was different though, he was drunk then. Callum could have been anyone. He could have appeared desirable after a few drinks. They spent so much time together, but that didn’t automatically mean Ben wanted him, not really. Maybe after five whiskey chasers when pickings were slim, he wouldn’t say no. But here, in front of everyone? That could be a different story. It would make sense why he had never made a move. He knew Callum wouldn’t, and that meant things would never go any further.

The humiliation, the embarrassment and the shame fed into his system. That, mixed with the pain in his chest made it feel like the bottom had fallen off the world.

“Look, we’ve all played by the rules, we’ve all had a snog with people we didn’t want to,” Ruby continued, side eyeing Vinney who grinned obliviously back at her from the memory of their brief kiss moments earlier. “So now you have to face the forfeit.”

“Fine,” Ben said with a sigh. He looked so care free about it. Ruby could be about to tell him to do anything and he wouldn’t care. Anything would be apparently easier than kissing Callum. “Do your worst.”

Ruby grinned at him, her whole face lighting up. “You’ve got to kiss Tubbs, as you don’t seem keen on kissing Callum,” she said, throwing him an apologetic smile. It didn’t seem contrite when her eyes were sparkling though. “A proper snog on the mouth this time!”

Ben looked down, shaking his head and chewing his lips. “Whatever,” he said, and he turned around towards the man in question. Tubbs looked non-plussed as usual. He could be asked to snog a housemate, shag a badger or kill off half a Brownie troop and he would still probably just give a shrug and swagger into the job.

It was happening. Ben was moving in closer to Tubbs’ waiting face. He didn’t seem at all bothered by being the object of a forfeit, and Callum wasn’t sure there weren’t many ways that Tubbs wouldn’t swing. It was happening. Right in front of his eyes, he was going to see them kiss.

It always seemed to be the same way. It always seemed to happen the same way. Callum never knew it had happened until he heard and saw Habiba jump back in fright. That always seemed to be the first sign, when really it should be the last reaction that he recognised.

The shards around him, and the lightness in his hand were his next realisations, and everything seemed to rewind in his mind to the point he smashed the bottle onto the table.

“You’re bleeding,” a voice said, but he couldn’t focus. He couldn’t care about the warm trickle on his hand. Not when Ben was looking at him like that. He’d smash a hundred bottles, a thousand mirrors, a million doors to different worlds if it meant that he could look into his eyes. If it meant that his eyes would just be locked with his.

“Callum, you’re bleeding!” the voice repeated again, the touch on his arm that came afterwards cracking him out of his world. It was Simon. There, looking down at his hand with a furrowed brow and worried, concerned and caring eyes. He didn’t want them. He didn’t want those on his body. Those weren’t the eyes he wanted at all.

“I’m fine,” he said, leaning on the sofa to haul himself up. His palm left a red smear on the material when he took it away, evidence of his destruction. Simon continued to keep hold of his arm. He didn’t need taking care of; he could look after himself. “I’m fine, get off!”

Callum didn’t want to even look at everyone’s stares on him. He didn’t know how it happened. How he always managed to find himself the centre of attention, despite trying to avoid it. It wasn’t in a good way, it was never the centre of something where people were with him. He was just there by himself as people gazing accusingly at him, wondering and commenting. Always the topic of conversation, but never the one that people wanted to talk to.

The bedroom seemed the best place to go, so he pushed the door open, the beds coming into view one by one, his walking feeling delayed, the messages seeming slow between his legs and his brain. He had probably drunk too much again, but he didn’t care. He was tired about caring what people thought.

Once he heard the door bang open again, he knew exactly who it was. He didn’t even need to turn around or look in the mirror. He always just knew. That had to mean something, didn’t it? “You done sticking your tongue down the throat of half the house then?”

He could hear that sigh, the one that told him he didn’t want to fight, but he wouldn’t back away from one either. “That’s a bit dramatic even for you, ain’t it?” Ben replied. “The most action I got all night was having Dotty’s tentacles sniff me out! I ain’t the one that had Buttons hanging off my arm and drooling over my pumpkins all night!”

“No? You seemed well up for shoving your tongue down Tubbs throat, though!” Callum said, back. He turned around. He couldn’t not look. “I didn’t see a lot of hesitation there!”

“Is that what this is all about?” Ben asked. “The little hissy fit, the glass flying into Habiba’s hair? All because you’re jealous? I thought we talked about this earlier? ‘Leave me the fuck alone’ were your words weren’t they?”

“So that’s it then?” Callum shouted back. “In your eyes, a bit of space is going around humping up against anything that moves?”

Ben stepped a little closer. “What do you want me to say?” he replied. “I ain’t attached to anyone, am I? You think I was a nun before this? Callum, I shagged someone the night before we came in here, don’t try and get me to follow some fucked up moral code just because it suits you!”

“I ain’t!” he complained. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew it wasn’t his right, but that didn’t make it all any easier. “You can do what you want, Ben, and that obviously ain’t me!”

“Is that what you really think?” he replied, slow and low, and moving closer. “You think I don’t want you now?”

Callum couldn’t help it. Just having him next to him, he could feel the energy radiating; it was pure, undiluted temptation and he didn’t want to resist. His brain, his alcohol soaked and drowned mind was begging him to let them have this. Callum listened to it, and reached out, pulling the sleeve of Ben’s hoodie until it cause him to close the gap between them.

“Not like this,” Ben whispered, but he still moved, still put his hands on Callum’s neck with solid fingers scraping and rubbing in a way that made his eyes flutter instantly. Callum dug his nose into Ben’s collar, feeling the skin as it brushed his lips. He couldn’t help it. He had to taste a little and he sucked gently on the skin there, giving a nip and a dash of his tongue. No one would see it.

“You’re drunk,” Ben whispered into his ear, and Callum rounded his hands to his back, rubbing up and down, kneading the muscles that he could feel contract under his touch.

“I’m not,” he whispered back. He was, he knew he was, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want this.

There was a snort of laughter into his ear. “Yeah, you are,” he said, and Callum placed another small kiss on his neck, causing Ben to hum deeply. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be standing like this with me. Tell me what you want.”

Callum was silent. Why did he have to say it? Why was it so hard to say? He could shout it loud and clear in his head, and that seemed okay now. He was allowed to say to himself what he wanted. The words just didn’t appear easily on his tongue. Not until now.

“I want-“

“Callum!” Simon called out, bursting through the door, breathing heavily. “Big Brother said you should go to the diary room.”

Automatically trying to shift back a little, Ben kept hold of him. “He ain’t going anywhere,” he replied. “Go on, do one!”

“His hand is injured, Ben!” Simon said, coming into the room a little more. “Big Brother have asked me to take him to the Diary Room. This is my job; I think I know what’s best.”

“He’s got a scratch on his hand, Florence Nightingale, he don’t need open heart surgery!” Ben scowled out. He gripped harder on Callum’s hand. “I bet you went to Big Brother yourself, didn’t you?”

Simon ignored him. “Callum, you’ve got to come now they said,” he insisted. “I’m not leaving until you do. I don’t want to get into trouble; that’s not who I am.”

Callum took hold of Ben’s hand, squeezing it tight. “I’ll be back,” he said, and immediately his fingers were dropped and Ben stood back shaking his head.

“Are you kidding me?” he replied, the frustration evident in the tightness of his jaw. “You’re walking away again?

Callum pressed the cut on his hand with his thumb. That’s where he needed the pain to be. He was given a way out, an easy path and he was taking it again. “I said I’ll be back!” he replied, walking towards where Simon was opening the door for him.

“Don’t bother,” he heard Ben mutter on his way out. “Callum, take this. No point me having it.”

There was a whooshing whip in the air as he saw something small flying towards him, his reflexes causing him to throw out a hand and catch it. The thimble.

Making his way to the door, he shrugged off Simon’s hand on his arm. “I can go in by myself, its just a cut!” he said, pressing the button.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay,” Simon repeated, but once the green button locked on Callum didn’t even respond. He just marched his way down to the Diary Room, flinging open the door and hurling himself on the chair.

Callum didn’t bother saying hello, he just banged his fist down on the chair, over and over again.

_“Good evening, Callum. There is a first aid box on the floor for you to dress your wound. How are you?”_

“It’s nothing,” he replied, opening up the box and pulling an alcohol wipe out. “It’s just a scratch.”

_“Is there anything you’d like to talk to Big Brother about?”_

Reaching in and grabbing a plaster, he gave a shrug. “I’ve made a mess of things,” he started, peeling off the plastic. “Just like I always make a mess of things. I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve never been the one anyone wants. That actually chooses to be with. With my family, they just put up with me, no choice really. In the army, I was always the one on the outskirts, just fighting hard every day to fit in, then with Whitney, everyone always tells me how lucky I am. I’m not saying they’re wrong, she could have anyone she wants, but it always made me feel that it shouldn’t be me.”

_“Do you feel wanted now?”_

Callum thought for a second. “I sometimes do, and I sometimes don’t. I want it to be true so badly, but what if it’s not? What if the same thing happens and they suddenly realise I’m not worth the time? In all my life, I’ve never been someone’s choice. I’ve never been the one that was chosen above anyone else. What if that’s the case here?”

_“Callum, what if it’s not?”_

He nodded, but didn’t say anymore. He just needed to go back out, make a cup of tea and sober up a little, and try to talk to Ben when they were both calm and rational.

Making his way out the diary room, Callum stopped sharply as he went through the door to the main part of the house. Kat was holding a tea towel up the Simon’s nose, the blood gushing through the material, while Kush and Tubbs were having an intense conversation in the corner. Frankie and Dotty were trying to scoop and sweep up a mountain of broken glass on the floor, while Vinney stood rubbing his face in horror. It looked like a hurricane had hit the house in the few small moments he had been gone.

Habiba came trotting up to him grabbing him by the arm and pulling him towards the garden. “Callum!” she said, a cry in her voice. “It’s all gone wrong! You have to talk to Ben. You’re the only one that will get through to him!”

Callum shook his head, still surveying the clutter scene around him. “He won’t want to talk to me, Habs,” he said with a sigh. “Maybe when he comes in from the garden, we’ll both be calm enough.”

“He’s not in the garden!” she shouted back at him. “Callum, he’s on the roof!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
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> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx


	17. Day 33

**Day Thirty Three**

“What do you mean he’s on the roof?” Callum exclaimed, repeating the statement. He looked around at the scene unfolding in the house. “Habs, what happened here? Did he do this?”

“No!” she said, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the back door. He glanced at the clock on the oven. It was just after midnight. “When you went in the Diary Room, he headed straight outside! Kush started to have a go at Tubbs, which I don’t think is the smartest move for anyone! He looks like he could kill off an army with a flick of his wrist! It all seemed to happen at once! Tubbs pulled his arm back and accidentally walloped Simon on the nose; he stumbled back and went flying into all the bottles!”

“What were Kush and Tubbs arguing over?” he asked, as Habiba opened the door to the garden.

She shrugged with a sigh. “Who knows why Tubbs does anything! He was eating a block of cheese earlier. Not a slice, no! One of those huge chunks of giant Cathedral City that was bigger than his hand!”

Callum looked back into the house where Tubbs and Kush were still arguing. That wasn’t a conversation he wanted to get into the middle of to try and break up.

“I went outside to get Ben when it happened,” she continued. “I thought he’d enjoy seeing the blood on Simon’s face, and it would cheer him up a little. I couldn’t see him anywhere, but noticed that one of the cameras was pointed up to the roof.”

“Did you try and talk to him?”

“Of course!” she replied. “But he wouldn’t listen and didn’t say anything! I thought you might be able to talk him into coming down.”

Callum stood on the grass, looking up to the top of the building, and saw Ben sitting on the roof, his knees brought up to his chest. He wasn’t looking down, instead his gaze was fixed up on the stars moving above. He looked so alone.

“If you call up to him, then he might come down!” Habiba said looking up and fretting. “Then-. Callum?! What are you doing?”

It wasn’t even an option. It didn’t even occur at him not to do it. He wasn’t about to stay down here for a second longer, so he rounded to the side of the house and started to climb up the trellis leading to the roof.

“Callum! Be careful!” Habiba called out from below, but he ignored her. Partly because he didn’t want to be reminded that he was metres up in the air on some flimsy bit of wobbly wood, but also because he didn’t care about being careful. That wasn’t important.

Once he reached the top, Callum gingerly made his way along the roof. He could still feel the alcohol tingling through his body, buzzing away faintly in the distance. One thing was certain: he really didn’t want to fall off. He was sure his career in the army would be called into question if he suddenly nosedived off a building

Callum kept creeping along slowly, cursing when he heard a crunch and looked down to find his foot had made a large imprint into the tile. He hoped it wasn’t too deep, and as he went along further, he was extra cautious. The last thing he needed was to fall through the roof and land on Simon’s lap. That might give him the wrong impression.

“You’ve sat on every surface in the house, and had to resort to the roof, is that it?” Callum asked, shuffling the last few steps. Ben didn’t respond, just kept looking towards the sky, so he sat down, just a foot away. There was space between them, just a short strip lit up with faded moonlight creating the river on the tile. “Not the easiest place to get to.”

“Perhaps that’s because I didn’t want anyone to get to it,” Ben chirped back with a bite, before looking over. His eyes mellowed slightly, picking up the crescent glow from the sky, almost tinging a golden yellow. “Or maybe it’s because you’re still ten sheets to the wind and I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to climb a building while you’re pissed.”

“Ain’t.” The response came out of his mouth quickly, a fledgling of a lie, but a familiar one. The alcohol and flutter of blurriness and numbness was still heavy in his body. Frankly, he didn’t quite know how he got up the trellis. He decided to climb it and here he was, up on the roof. “I’m perfectly sober.”

Ben let out a chuckle, shaking his head a little, before pointing to the sky. “Look up there, what do you see?”

Callum followed his finger, looking up to the night. “What am I meant to be seeing?” he asked, squinting into the distance.

“The star. Look at the star! No, the other one,” he said, reaching over and aiming Callum’s chin slightly. “The one to the right, just past the first one. What do you see?”

Callum screwed up his face and narrowed his eyes. It just looked like a star; twinkling in flashes, glowing with luminous warmth. “Just shining a lot, ain’t it?”

“They never shine as bright when you’re sober,” Ben insisted. “You don’t even notice them unless you’re drunk or on one of those few and far between times that everything seems okay. You look at them now and they seem to be there, they ain’t though, are they? What you’re seeing happened. It’s just a sparkle of a memory. And sometimes they seem really clear, and sometimes they just seem so far away.”

“That’s it with memories though, aint it?” Callum replied, the sky seemingly like a piece of scenery, too vast and eternal to possibly be real. “Time don’t really make sense with them.”

“Habs tell you I was here?” Ben asked. “I thought I heard her wailing in the background. She can’t find her arse from her elbow most days, but spotted me out here in three seconds, like a bloodhound on speed.”

Callum nodded at the question. He couldn’t see Habiba in the garden, so presumed she must have gone inside. “You missed a blinder in there! There’s glass everywhere and Tubbs and Kush are squaring up to each other. I go in the Diary Room for five minutes, come out and it’s like a different planet!”

“The world falls apart when you’re not in it, Callum,” Ben muttered, bringing his hands back up to rest on his legs. “What were Tubbs and Kush fighting over?”

“I’m not really sure. I think it could have been Kat. Did you see the look on Kush’s face when she was all over Tubbs?” he replied. “He weren’t happy. Add the booze he’s been downing, and something was bound to happen.”

“Tubbs sniffing up Kat then? Well, he’s really getting about, ain’t he? What with me and him at it all the time according to you, and now he’s all over her. I’ll tell you what, Vin better watch he don’t catch his eye! He’ll have half the house in an orgy!”

“Oh shut up!” Callum replied, turning away at Ben’s mocking tone. “Don’t act like you weren’t thick as thieves when he walked in.”

Ben shrugged. “He’s a good bloke, he don’t know no one else,” he replied. “I ain’t gonna not talk to him. Green’s not a good colour on you.”

“I’m not jealous,” he insisted.

“You are.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!” Ben called out into the night. “It’s alright, I get it. Where’s your shadow at then? I’m surprised he ain’t trying to pole vault on to the roof!”

Callum pulled his hoodie a little around him, the chill in the air encasing them. “He got in the way of the argument and got walloped in the face from Tubbs’ elbow,” he explained. “He’s bleeding on the cooker hobs at the moment.”

Ben turned towards him wide eyed. “For the first time in here, I’m happy we’re being recorded. I’m gonna put that moment on repeat when I get home!” he said, before giving a sigh. “Jealousy ain’t good, Callum.”

He wasn’t wrong. It made you hurt from the inside out, made you resent other people’s joy and happiness, and loathe and question yourself in the process. It just took something; a private joke, a simple touch or a display of familiarity and you felt out in the cold, nose pressed up against frosted glass of the window, looking at a orangy glow of a warm moment inside. You were locked out, and couldn’t get in.

“Why you out here and done a bunk onto the roof?” he asked.

“Didn’t wanna be in there anymore, or down there,” Ben replied. “Everyone’s looking at me like they expect me to fall apart, that twat leeching onto you’s got so much of a game plan that he’s probably shitting out monopoly money, and I’m sick of Big Brother’s mind fucks. Oh, and Missy died, so not my favourite day in here.”

Callum stopped, thinking perhaps he misheard. He reached out and grabbed Ben’s arm turning him towards him. “What? What you talking about?”

“I went in there after Simple Simon carted you off for a bit of wound care,” he said. He wouldn’t look though. He just kept staring at the sky. Just kept looking at the stars. “I poked my head in the hen house. She weren’t moving.”

“Did you check?” he asked. “Did you go in and check properly. She was probably just sleeping.”

Ben shook his head, firmly and defiantly. “No! No, Callum,” he insisted. “I know. I just know.”

“You can’t hide out on the roof!” he said, gently rubbing Ben’s arm. He scooted closer. “If it’s not true then there’s no point worrying, and if it is true then being up here won’t change anything. Hiding doesn’t solve anything.”

“That’s rich, ain’t it? Once you’ve finished throwing colour slurs at the kettle, you gonna start on the toaster too?” he said, his tone harsh, before taking another big sigh. “Sorry. Forget I said that.”

Callum knew he was in no position to lecture someone about having their head in the sand. He seemed to have spent his whole life ignoring things in the hope they would just go away. “Ben,” he said in a whisper. “Do you want me to go look?”

Turning towards him, Ben nodded, just a little, just enough for Callum to pick it up in the darkness. Crouching up carefully, Callum started to shuffle along the roof, trying not to step on any precarious parts. He was starting to sober up a little, and that actually made the prospect of trying to climb down a rickety trellis even more difficult.

Gripping on tightly, he managed to keep his foot in the holds as he clambered down, the wooden fencing only creaking a little under his weight as he pulled at the drainpipe on his final descent.

It wasn’t long after his feet hit the ground with a thud that he heard Ben come down after him. At least he was off the roof.

Callum didn’t want to go into the chicken coop. He never did, but it was different this time. As his feet squeaked along the grass, it felt like time was paused, and flipping over and over so it couldn’t be grasped and set. Whatever had happened, had happened. There was no changing it, but it was those last few seconds of denial. Those last few seconds where the star was burning brightly in the sky, but had probably already faded a long time before.

The lock on the chicken coop was cold, the unseasonal evening weather frosting it and making it sting to the touch. It slid open with a little clatter, and the creak of the gate seemed obscene and warning in the silent of the night. Now he was in, he noticed a huddle of chickens in the corner, subdued and passive at this time. The rest stayed in their bundle of feathers, but Connie came prancing over slowly, giving Callum a welcoming cluck.

Kneeling down on the ground, he opened the bigger door to the hen house, propping it ajar. He could see Missy in her bed. Still.

With Connie rubbing her head against his ankles, he reached out a hand to give Missy’s feathers a stroke. They fluttered softly in his fingers, the cold seeping off her body. It felt different than the temperature of the air around them though. It was an unfamiliar coolness, an unexpected one and an uncomfortable one. It didn’t feel real. Nothing with life felt like that.

With a deep breath, he shut the door up, moving Connie away gently from where she was comfort pecking on his sock. Callum’s gaze met Ben almost immediately, and he didn’t have to say anything. Ben just closed his eyes and turned around, going to sit down on the grass with his back turned against the coop.

Callum let himself out the gate and came to stand on the grass. He was silent for a minute, the words pottering over in his head. “Ben? Do you want-?”

They didn’t come out, these words that kept flittering around. They couldn’t. They didn’t need to. Ben shook his head firmly and that was enough of an answer. Instead, Callum went over to the Snug and found the warmest, fluffiest blanket in faded blush pink and brought it back over to the coop. He kneeled inside again, opening the coop door.

Gently, he lifted out Missy, supporting her body that felt airless cool in his hands. She didn’t seem to weigh anything at all, as if she was just a thin acorn shell floating about on the breeze. Placing her on the soft material, he gave her wing an affectionate rub, before carefully bundling the blanket around her.

The other chickens were still in their corner, Penny giving a little squawk at them to turn around when Callum lifted Missy up into his arms. He tried to ignore Connie’s black sad eyes looking up at him questioningly, leaving the coop once more.

“Ben?” he asked, when he was halfway to the door. He hadn’t moved yet. He hadn’t moved at all. Again though, he seemed to know what Callum was asking, and he simply shook his head.

Walking through the house, he held the blanket close to him. It was all quiet now, not anyone in sight and the glaring ghastly whiteness of the light seemed harsh and surreal on his body. It felt like a dream, so that’s what the light should have been like; blurred, soft and dulled.

The Diary Room door was open, Big Brother obviously knew he was coming. Callum backed into the door so he could push it open without releasing an arm. He perched on the end of the chair.

_“Hello Callum, you can leave the chicken on the chair and leave the Diary Room.”_

He laid the blanketed parcel down, and stood up ready to head to the door. It was irking him though, this little niggle in his chest. “Her name’s Missy,” he insisted, sitting back down. “What’s going to happen to her?”

_“Callum, Big Brother will take the body to a vet to dispose safely and appropriately.”_

He started shaking his head. “No, I want to know exactly how!” He didn’t care really. That wasn’t something that had ever been a huge priority to him. Once someone was gone from their body, they didn’t exist there anymore. They flew around in memories, in faces and faded shadows. But someone might. Someone might care, and he wanted to make sure she had that proper goodbye. “You ain’t exactly been checking up on her a lot have you? You owe that to her.”

_“Callum, Big Brother takes the best care possible of the animals in the house.”_

The choke and laugh bubbled up in him. “Yeah?” he questioned. “You put them in here, just caring that they survive. You can say you care about them all you want but actions speak louder than that don’t they? You’ll care on your time and if its appropriate to your schedule. There’s only so many times you can turn a blind eye.”

He didn’t bother waiting to see if they responded or not. It wouldn’t matter what it was they said. They lied. The words that came out of their mouth were mistruths to try and lure them into a woozy submission. They said they cared, but only if it fit their storyline. Only if they could capture it on camera and twist and wring it for their own devices.

Callum walked briskly through the house, but slowed when he got to the garden. Ben was still sitting in the grass, still looking at the sky. Sitting down next to him, Callum reached over and wiggled the sleeve of his jumper. “Freezing out here,” he mumbled, just finding some words to say. “Ben?”

There was silence for another moment, and Callum just kept his pincer grip on the sleeve, trying to keep connected somehow, trying to show meaning though it all somehow. Then Ben moved his arm, sliding it back and linking his hand in Callum’s, squeezing his fingers tightly, as if he was hanging on the edge of a cliff and afraid what would happen if he let go.

Ben leaned his body, letting his back fall onto the grass. Callum followed suit, laying down next to him, looking back up to the sky. There were a few wispy clouds that fluttered across the night, weaving a grey, dulled web to capture the stars.

“When I went in there, into the coop tonight, I just wanted to get out of this place,” Ben said, breaking the silence. “I wanted to head towards that front door, kick it down and just take off.”

Callum had that feeling before. He had that feeling daily at certain points in his life. It was one he often acted on as well. “You decided the roof was a better option instead?”

“It was as far away as I could get without leaving,” he explained. “I just needed to be alone for once. Well as alone as you can be; it’s not like the cameras can’t still point up there. There’s nowhere they can’t go.”

“Why’d you stay then?” Callum asked. “Why not get out of here? It ain’t the prison or the army is it? We can leave when we like.”

“I wouldn’t leave you,” he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of Callum’s hand. “I wouldn’t leave you alone in this world. It’s cruel and twisted and keeps turning itself upside down. It will lure you in and make it seem benevolent and then continue playing tricks until you give up. Until it captures you and keeps you forever. It will suck every bit of life from you and you won’t notice until it’s done. That is not happening to you.”

“Ben?” he asked. “What do you know?”

Licking his lips, Ben turned his eyes towards Callum. “I don’t know what’s going to happen,” he confessed. “Not anymore. I’m as lost as everyone else.”

“But you did know?” he asked. “What? What did you know?”

“I can’t talk about it,” he said, patting to his microphone pack and then nodding to the cameras. It squinched Callum’s body when he pointed them out, like these intrusive wide eyes peering into a tiny bird house. “I’ve done everything I can though. I did everything I could. God, your hands are freezing!”

“It’s cold, ain’t it?” Callum said, not wanting the conversation to end, but sensing that it couldn’t be discussed in the open, not now. “It feels like it’s gonna snow in the middle of August!”

Ben wriggled to sit up, using his other hand to lift himself off the ground and pull himself up. He heaved Callum’s arm, motioning for him to follow. “Come on,” he said, his lip just quirking a little. “I’ll warm you up.”

Callum shook his head and laughed as he found himself being led towards the Snug. “You can’t say that!” he meekly warned, as he gestured for Ben to lower his voice.

“No, I won’t shush!” he replied as he opened the door and pulled them both inside. He knocked some of the pillows and blanket’s around a little, before heading to the wall and picking bulb after bulb off the lights that lit up the bricks. “And before you start, I know I’m going to get into trouble, but the light’s hurting my eyes. Did you hear that Big Brother? It’s a medical condition, so have a go at punishing me for that!”

“You’re ripping the lights off the wall!” Callum said, settling down on the ground and pulling a blanket over his legs. “I’m not sure you can talk yourself out of that one!”

“That’s because you ain’t gone over that rule book with a fine tooth comb!” Ben exclaimed, piling the bulbs in the corner, and climbing under the same cover as Callum. “My eyesight is hindered by these fairy lights so I’m making an appropriate adaptation. I ain’t scared of the dark, I’m able to fight it off if you’re worried there’s monsters lurking in the shadows and ready to knock down the door.”

“Oh shut up!” Callum laughed, as Ben curled into his side and rested his head on his chest. This wasn’t wrong. Ben had just gone through a painful experience; this was just a cuddle. It wasn’t that at all, Callum knew that, but it could look like that. They were all demonstrative in the house, he had cuddled up with Habs and Kat all the time. This wouldn’t look any different. It was though. “You alright?”

There was no audible response, just a movement of a head he felt scratch through the material of his clothes. A hand appeared on his thigh, rubbing out an answer gently and rhythmically. The fire crackled on the screen, burning and flamed. That wasn’t where the warmth that heated his body came from though. The last of the light faded as Callum closed his eyes.

When they flickered open again, the level of brightness was the same. There were no windows or gaps for the sun to appear through, but Callum could tell it was morning by his body clock. There was no sign of Ben again, just an empty space next to him.

The door racketed open with a clatter, and the light crept in. It wasn’t a bright summer’s day though. It was a murky light, filled with a realism and unfiltered clarity. His eyes still slightly winced at the change.

“There you are!” Habiba said, crawling over to him and flopping down. “We were beginning to think you and Ben and both been abducted by aliens, you were sitting on that roof for so long. Or carried away by determined pigeons.”

She waved her hand for the other person at the door to make her way in. Frankie joined them, plopping down with her back against the wall, kicking out her legs and resting them over Callum’s and Habiba’s knees. “Well, we knew they’d let Ben go when we saw him in the chicken coop. We were a bit worried you’d been made King of the Pigeons though!”

He let out a small laugh, but his mood soon sobered when he remembered the events of the night before. “He’s in with the hens?” he asked. “Do you know what happened?”

They both looked a little sombre, and he could immediately tell that they knew. “It’s horrible!” Habiba confessed. “I didn’t know Missy well; we discussed putting some highlights through her feathers once and she didn’t flap away at the idea, but I just feel so guilty. I took a five pack of chicken breasts out to defrost this morning! I would have got the turkey mince out if I’d known.”

“It’s a part of life, but it doesn’t make it any easier,” Frankie said, pulling at a thread on the blanket. “Knowing that doesn’t make it any of it easier. Suddenly someone is there, and the next minute they’re not. Then you think about all the wasted time, and all the things you should have done. That’s how regret is born.”

Callum nodded. There were things that he wanted to say, wanted to do and he always put them off, shoved them away and pretended like they were impossible. Then, when they were no longer an option, they seemed to easy, so obvious and so clear. There were things he wanted Ben to know, and he knew it worked the other way around too, but he couldn’t be seen saying them, and he couldn’t be heard.

An idea sparked into his mind. “Frank?” he said, turning towards the young woman. “I need your help with something.”

An hour later, he emerged from the Snug, cricking his neck and giving a stretch. His body felt tight with being curled up for so long. He didn’t want to sit down and stretch though, just in case someone’s medical radar started to whirl into action.

Instead, he walked over to the chicken coop where Ben was still working. He smiled up at Callum when he saw him. “Morning,” he called out. “You weren’t there when I woke. You got up early.”

“Well, that was one of the reasons I weren’t there,” he said with a quick grin. There was still a sadness in his eyes though, that didn’t quite carry through the humour into his voice. “The chickens needed doing anyway.”

“You alright doing them?” he asked. It seemed too soon in a way. “I can always do them, or someone else.”

“Callum, if you were left to feed them, you’d serve them up a round of bacon sarnies, Habiba would straighten their feathers and Dotty would give them a two hour lecture on the ‘How to suck the soul out of someone in ten days’!” he exclaimed. He was holding Izzy in his arms as she pecked on his hoodie. “It ain’t gonna make a difference if I stop doing them for a day, or for three weeks. It don’t change the feeling, does it?”

Callum shook his head. Ben was right, nothing made it better, nothing took it away. It would never get better, it could just be dusted with sparkle to help it fade into the background sometimes.

Looking up to the sky, he could see the clouds getting darker, encasing the atmosphere. The sun wasn’t out at all, and the air was getting heavy as a few clear, bulging droplets landed on his cheeks. “We should go in now,” he said, as Ben nodded, placing the chicken on the ground. “Gonna chuck it down in a minute or two. We don’t wanna be caught up in that.”

The rain started to pelt down harder now, as they both jogged into the house, shaking off the excess water as they got through the door. “Breakfast?” Callum asked, running his hand through his hair. “Although I might need a shower first.”

“I’ll join you in both,” Ben smirked, before he stumbled when Callum gave him a shove. “I think everyone else has already eaten though, so it’ll just be you and me.”

“Good,” he said, pulling Ben back near him. “Don’t need no one else, do I?”

Ben gave a long sigh and leant his head back. “You’ve got to stop saying things like that,” he said, walking his fingers up Callum’s chest and then sliding them back down. “Sure you don’t want me to join you? I could scrub your back.”

“I ain’t that dirty,” he said beaming back, leaning into Ben’s touch. It tingled in the air around him.

“Well, I don’t for one second believe that’s true, but point taken,” he said, running his hand down to Callum’s hip and giving a squeeze. “Don’t be long!”

Smiling after Ben, who went into the bedroom belting out insults at Dotty, Callum took a deep breath before heading towards the bathroom. He took a look out into the garden as he went, the rain still belting down, saturating the grass with the excess water. There was a rumble of thunder in the distance suggesting that there was still no end in sight and a storm would happen before clearing for the sun.

The bathroom was empty, thankfully. On occasion, he had to take a shower with Vinney giving himself a motivational talk in the mirror. It wasn’t an entirely peaceful and relaxing experience when someone was bouncing around like they were about to enter a boxing ring.

Callum stripped off his hoodie, throwing it down on side, before kicking off his trousers and socks, placing the clothing next to it. Reaching for a towel on the side, he wrapped it around his waist before scrabbling underneath to pull down his boxers. He placed them on his jeans, before opening up the shower door.

The water started to warm up almost immediately, as he removed his towel and threw it over the top of the door. Callum leaned his face under the water, trying to wash away the sadness of the night before. This was a new day; they couldn’t change what had come before, but it could help push towards the future.

The droplets made his body feel better already, but the fact he and Ben seemed to be close again helped him mellow even further. Last night, just holding on to each other, it felt like nothing was missing. That had never happened before. His whole life he had been constantly poised, ready to try and spot that enigma that would fly by and make him feel whole. Something that would make him feel like he wasn’t empty inside.

He hadn’t ignored Ben’s hand on his thigh, gently moving up and down. Callum had been caught between wanting him to move it higher, and hoping he didn’t. There was a line, like a barrier stopping a ski jumper at the Olympics, just delaying them from starting. Once they got going, there was no backing up.

Callum just brushed his own hand on his thigh trying to bring that feeling back. It wasn’t the same, but the memory helped to create a good enough replica. An appropriate copy that he could use, while hidden slightly behind frosted glass alone.

“Callum?”

Immediately, he pulled his hand back up and huffed out an annoyed breath. He didn’t even hear the door of the bathroom open. “I’m just having a shower!” he called out, hoping the implication was clear that it wasn’t a good time to talk. “I won’t be long!”

“Oh, good,” Simon said, his voice getting even closer. “I’ll wait for you then. Can I get you anything?”

“No!” he called out quickly. Looking through the frosted glass, he could make out the man’s silhouette close to the screen. Maybe he should have said yes, and asked him to go get him something from the bedroom, at least that would get rid of him for a few minutes. However, it wouldn’t look great if Simon swanned in the bedroom and announced that Callum had asked him to bring him something into the shower. “I’m fine honest.”

Scrubbing his hair and body as quickly as possible, he hoped that Simon would just back a little away and sit quietly. “How’s your hand feeling after yesterday?” he called out. No such hope then.

“Yeah, it’s all good, it was just a scratch,” he said back, rinsing his hair under the water, and looking towards his hand that was still twitching to get back to his thigh. He started to wonder why Simon was in the room in the first place. “Are you planning on having a shower after I’m done?”

“Yeah, I think I might,” he replied back. “Though I’m going to have to try out that bath one day. Nothing better than lying in a nice, candlelit warm bath on a rainy day. It’s certainly feeling chilly in the house today.”

“Yeah, it’s always cold in here, but it seems they’ve kept the air con at the same level,” Callum called back. Talking about the weather seemed a safe topic, away from his what his hand was doing or candlelit baths. He rinsed all the soap and then turned the shower off, grabbing the towel off the screen and giving it a quick rub down his hair and body, before making sure it was securely wrapped around his middle.

The steam started to float out even further as he opened the door, blurring his view for a minute. When it dissipated into the air, he stopped with the view he had. Simon was sitting on the side, bruising to his nose, and wearing his hoodie.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he said, pulling at it a little. “Like you said, it gets really cold in this house, and you’re obviously not using it at the moment.”

Callum felt Simon’s eyes roll over his body. It felt like a spider scurrying up his spine, and suddenly he felt very exposed, aware that the thin, drenched towel wasn’t covering much.

“Well this is nice and cosy.” Callum shut his eyes at the sound of Ben’s voice. With every step forwards they seemed to take, something dragged them half a mile back. “We playing dress up, boys?”

Simon turned his head towards Ben, making sure to shrug the hoodie even closer to his body to draw attention. “Callum said I could get into the shower,” he replied, his face natural. “We were just getting to know each other a bit better.”

Ben’s eyes darted to Callum, looking at him questioningly before peeling over his body. That brought the warmth back, and when Ben raised his head back to his face, he started to shake his head with a grin. Jealousy didn’t help anyone. “Well, Simon, I think we know all we need to about you. I’d be careful with that nose, you wouldn’t want to slip and whack it on someone’s fist again. Accidents do happen!”

“Ben,” Callum said, edging towards the door and picking up his jeans, socks and shirt that were on the side. “Let’s leave Simon alone to have his shower, shall we?”

“Trust me, I doubt he’ll be in there long!” Ben called back into the bathroom as Callum dragged him out. “Cheeky fucking git! What was his excuse this time? Wanting to cop a feel of your A, B, C was he? Don’t let him offer to take your temperature, Callum!”

“Nothing was happening; he’s just one of those people that are super clingy, ain’t he?” Callum said, pushing Ben towards the kitchen. “I feel a bit sorry for him, truth be told. We’ve all been there, ain’t we? Go get out the food for breakfast, I’ll get changed quickly and come out and cook. Alright?”

Ben leaned against the kitchen counter with a shrug. “Alright! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but go get your kit on!” he said, waving Callum towards the bedroom. “It’ll be fine! I ain’t gonna go burst into Pervy McPervefaces’ shower and interrupt the wank of his life, swear!”

Callum slightly narrowed his eyes, but trusted Ben to stay away. They didn’t need anymore arguments in this house.

“Alright, mate,” Kush called over from his pillow when Callum entered the bedroom. “I heard the news, bet you had a bit of a night of it, eh? Ben seems like he’s coping alright though.”

Nodding, he put his jeans, socks and shirt in the washing pile, pausing for a second as though his head was trying to tell him something, before shaking it off. “You know Ben,” he answered, getting out some clean underwear and clothes from his drawer. “He’ll look like everything’s alright until suddenly it isn’t. We’ll just have to keep an eye on him, yeah? How bout you? Habs said there was a bit of bother between you and Tubbs last night.”

Kush just shrugged from his bed. “Bit of nothing really,” he muttered out. “I guess it was just the drink talking, seeing Kat all over him like that. I probably just said the wrong thing at the wrong time. I’ve gotta get over it though, haven’t I? Move on to pastures new!”

“Mate, you don’t have to!” Callum replied, pulling his clothes on. “Just because things didn’t work out with Kat, it don’t mean that you’ve got to just get with anyone who’s throwing themselves at you. How much do you trust the new lot?”

“I think the fact they know more about us than we do about them is a bit intimidating,” he replied. “They practically know everything about us.”

The thought hit Callum for a second, but it didn’t sit right. “No they don’t,” he insisted. “They may think they do, but its just an illusion, ain’t it? They know what we’ve been presented as. They don’t know the real us at all.”

After Callum had made him and Ben breakfast, they went to sit on the sofa. Most of the housemates were there, all choosing to stay snuggly indoors. The rain was torrential now, pouring down from the sky as it a dam in the universe had been broken and barrage of water was being hurled to the earth.

“I’m surprised you ain’t outside Dotty,” Ben said from where he was curled up, his feet pressed into Callum’s thigh. “It’s a bit rare there ain’t any sun at all in the daytime. You’d be able to get in a good few extra prowling hours.”

“Fuck off, Ben!” she tutted from across the room. “That’s the last time I spend the morning being nice to you!”

Habiba squinted her eyes slightly. “You punched him in the arm!” she exclaimed. “That’s being nice?”

“For Dotty that’s basically a mating call,” Ben smirked back. “That’s her equivalent of giving someone flowers, a slap up steak dinner and ending the night sucking them off!”

Dotty threw her face into a pillow. “Can you not put that image in my head, please?” she groaned out. “The last thing I want to think about is someone noshing on your dick!”

“I can’t remember the last time someone bought me flowers,” Habiba continued. “I’ve had some nice gifts in the past. The good looking one from ‘In Da Bungalow’ gave me a pearl necklace.”

Kat spluttered on her mug of tea. “I think we’ve all had Dick give us a bit of neck decoration, Habs!” she snorted out. “You’re not on your own there!”

“Speak for yourself!” Ruby said, sipping on her coffee. “Some of us hold out for diamonds rather than just open our mouths for what ever is sprayed our way!”

Callum feared there would be another fight again, and that seemed the way it was going when Kat almost started to scramble off the sofa, before Habiba’s scream stilled them all.

“You alright?” Tubbs asked, edging a little away from the screeching woman.

“I think I’ve just got stung by a fairy!” Habiba squealed out, bringing her hand to her face. “I could feel it on my cheek!”

“Wouldn’t it be more likely to be a bee or a wasp?” Simon suggested. He had taken Callum’s hoodie off now, thankfully. He was probably concerned that Ben would wrap it around his throat.

“I would know if it was a bee, Simon!” Habiba replied with a roll of her eyes. “I would have been able to see it!”

“So, the next option is a fairy?” Vinney asked slowly. Callum wasn’t sure whether he was uncertain or concerned with his furrowed brow.

“Well, you can’t see fairies can you?” she said, spelling it out as she was still clutching her cheek. “Tell them, Kush! Aren’t fairies invisible?”

Opening and closing his mouth a few times, as if deciding the appropriate answer, Kush seemed to find the response he was looking for. “Well, I’ve certainly not seen one.”

“See?” Habiba said gesticulating towards him, before screeching again and holding her nose. “It’s done it again! Why are the fairies targeting me? Its wet too! Oh god, have I just been pissed on by a fairy?”

Suddenly, Vinney’s hand flew up to his head as well. “Shit!” he exclaimed. “That ain’t being stung, Habs! That’s water!”

The droplets came down quicker now, and they all scrambled off the couch as it started to rain inside.

“Do you think we should tell Big Brother?” Simon said, running to get a tea towel and diving back into the lounge to try and soak up the water.

“I think they’ll be aware that water is coming in from the roof!” Tubbs said looking up at the ceiling. “Something must have caused a hole at someone point. The strength of the rain would have made it bigger and poured right through.”

The lights flickered ominously, giving all their strength to stay on. It was useless though, and the house switched into darkness.

_“This is Big Brother. Would all Housemates head towards the Fire Exit immediately.”_

Callum grabbed hold off Ben’s wrist, that just seemed to find his way into his hand, as a door opened and a torch shined from the opening. The other housemates all started to head towards the door, led by the glow of light, as they both followed.

Immediately, it was obvious they were in the camera run, and Callum tried not to think about it too much. They were walking past these deserted recording devices, no longer able to spy and view. Up ahead at the front on the line, he could see the small red light of a handheld camera. Big Brother obviously making sure that at least some footage was captured. That was it though. There was no one else around.

Callum stopped and felt Ben’s arm tense as he tried to carry on before noticing that they weren’t moving. He couldn’t see his expression, but he knew he would be confused. “What’s wrong?” Ben said in a whisper, somewhere near his ear. He could feel him, the breath on his skin, the warmth of his body in his hand. He couldn’t see him, but that didn’t matter.

Before he could change his mind, before he could even think, he pulled Ben against the wall, hearing a soft exhale when his back hit the surface. It wouldn’t solve anything, they were still here in the darkness and not out in the light, but just for a moment he wanted something. He wanted something that was being offered and that never happened to him. He wanted more than he ever had before.

It was done by instinct mostly, but Callum raised his hand and found Ben’s face; he stroked his thumb along his cheek and felt a soft exhale of air onto his lips. They were both so close, drawn instinctively, and Callum made the final few inches to press their lips together.

It was soft, and a little tentative from both of them, just their mouths barely grazing, fluttering together. The heat flushed through Callum just from that brief brush when he leaned back, as though his blood started simmering as it flowed quickly now through his body and urged him on. The barrier had been lifted, and now he was sliding quickly down the steep mountain.

Callum could feel Ben’s pulse from where he was still holding his wrist in his hand. The beat was hitting his fingers, speeding up and matching the thump of his own heart. It wasn’t even a decision this time, and he couldn’t now hold back anymore, crushing his lips back against Ben’s, addicted to the taste of his bottom lip, dipping his tongue out to suck and taste.

They didn’t need to see, it was a sense that would seem superfluous to the moment, but Ben moaning into his mouth was something he never knew he needed until now. Every sound vibrated into his body, tingling through the maze of nerves and shaking every vein where the blood bubbled. Dropping Ben’s wrist, he moved his other hand up, into his hair, scraping along with his nails before rubbing the pads of his fingers back down.

It seemed to have the intended reaction, as Ben’s hand’s dropped to Callum’s hips pulling him closer, as a few fingers slid down to rub his arse. His tongue fell deeper now, clashing with Ben’s and feeling like he could stay like this forever. He wanted to stay like this forever.

Eventually Ben pulled away a little, his breath still escaping in soft moans, as Callum leant their foreheads together. Their noses bumped briefly, and he made Ben let out a small laugh when he brushed them together in an eskimo kiss.

“We should probably talk right?” Ben gasped out. “While we’ve got this minute alone, yeah? It would be a good time to say some things.”

“Yeah, okay, okay,” Callum said quickly before capturing Ben’s lips again and then sliding his mouth down to his neck, nipping and licking there, spurred on by the hand squeezing his bum.

“Actually, scrap that, don’t stop!” Ben hissed out before moaning loudly when Callum slipped a hand down to the front of his jeans. “Fuck, definitely don’t stop.”

“Callum!” A hiss came from the darkness. “Ben? Where are you?”

Ben leaned his head back in a cry, as Callum moved back lipping his lips and trying to regain his breath. “What, Habs?” he muttered back, a little harsh, but petulantly annoyed that he had to stop.

Habiba cleared her throat before speaking clearly. “Oh, there you are. Got lost you say? Well it is pretty dark,” she practically shouted out, articulating every word with a super clear clarity. “Thank goodness I offered to come along with this camera that was coming to find you!”

Callum ran a hand through his hair, and quickly took off his jumper, tying it around his waist at the bottom of his t-shirt, His body was pounding, on the edge and almost ready to tip over. He heard Ben chuckle next to him, their eyes a little accustomed to the dim light now, and able to make out a few of their features. Certainly Ben would have felt every inch of his body; he hadn’t needed to see.

“I’m not sure that’s gonna hide it!” he whispered, mimicking Callum’s actions and pulling off his hoodie.

Callum didn’t have time to respond though as the red light of the camera appeared in the distance, and he could make out Habiba’s wide eyed look. He started to make his way along the dark corridor, following Habs and the red light, and doing his absolute best to ignore the hand pinching his bum. Every wall along the way looked good enough to stop at, to not care about the camera and to throw Ben against it and finish what they started. He wasn’t quite there yet, though.

Eventually, they reached a doorway that bright light shine through it. He recognised it; he’d been here before. It was The Loft! When he walked through the door though, it wasn’t as he remembered. The shape and size of the room was still the same, but it was empty now. No furniture, no carpet, no shelves laden with junk. Just an empty room. Well, empty apart from the rest of his housemates, the camera wandering around, and the member of the production crew who still held the torch and gave Callum and Ben a glare as they walked through the door.

“Oh there’s the lost boys finally found their way!” Kat called out with a grin. “We had to send out a search party! Get lost down a dark alley, did you?”

Neither of them answered, they just slouched against the wall and sat on the floor. Callum could feel the heat in his cheeks still, and by the looks he was getting from his fellow housemates, they didn’t think he and Ben were simply taking their time with a scenic walk.

Looking over to Ben, his eyes widened now he could see him in the light. His neck was blotched pink, and Callum was sure he saw a few bursts of colour by his collar. His lips were almost rose red, plumped and shining, while his eyes were so dark they looked like the night sky. Callum reached out to brush some of Ben’s hair down that was sticking up.

By the look of Ben’s smirk, Callum’s own face wasn’t disguising what they had done either. He ran his hand through his hair a few times.

“That’s not hiding anything,” Ben said, leaning in closer and muttering low and deep into his ear. He picked a little at Callum’s T-shirt. “I don’t suppose there’s any chance of an encore?”

Callum swallowed deeply. He wanted to, he really did, but he couldn’t. “I can’t,” he whispered back, and his heart darkened when he saw Ben’s face fall. “Not until everything is sorted out. It wouldn’t be fair to her to see that.”

Taking a deep breath, Ben reluctantly nodded. “Yeah, I understand that,” he said with a sigh. “Don’t mean that it ain’t gonna be torture though. There’s only so many jumpers we can hide behind.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. He meant it, for both of them. He was now halfway down the ski slope and trying desperately to slow down before he reached the jump at the bottom.

“I’m gonna pop to the toilet,” Ben whispered, standing up and clearing his throat. “See if I can’t make myself look like I haven’t been dry humped against a wall.”

Callum shook his head as he watched Ben go, noticing the glare he got from Simon on the way, and the even larger scowl he got from the member of the production crew. Looking around the room, most of the housemates looked despondent and frustrated at the limited surroundings, as Vinney complained he was hungry.

“What’s for dinner?” he asked, playing with his headphones. “If we ever get out of here of course.”

“Callum and I are making chi-,” Habiba started before pausing, and glancing at the toilet door that just opened. “Salad. We’re having salad.”

Vinney groaned. “Just salad?” he whined out. “We not got some meat to go with it?”

“It’s vegetables! It’s good for you!” Habiba hissed back. “God, this is so boring! I wish they’d give us a phone so we could at least explain our tortuous situation on social media and record it for future generations to learn from.”

“Social media is full of twats!” Tubbs blurted out.

“I’m on social media!” Habiba protested. “I have one of the Chuckle Brothers follow me on twitter!”

“Which one? The living one or the dead one?” Dotty said with a smile, as Ben snorted, coming to sit back down next to Callum. We don’t think every one on social media is a twat, Habs, just that all the twats are on social media.”

“It’s a bit like a tennis match, ain’t it?” Ben explained. “You’ve got a small majority there in the players who scream the loudest and just whack negative shit out back and forth all the time. They’re so singularly minded, and if you’re in that court you couldn’t help but think that who won a game of tennis was the most important thing in the world. It ain’t true though is it? You’ve got a huge crowd, none of which care about who wins, as much as the players do. It’s not the most important thing in their life; they’ve got jobs, families, heath, love and life that they’ve got to balance. Even if they care about who wins, it don’t affect them. They’ve got too much else going on to get involved in a vendetta. Then there’s the umpire, sticking their oar into anything that’s going, thinking they can control and scold everyone who don’t agree with their decisions.”

“Which one are you on social media then, Ben?” Frankie asked, looking towards him curiously. “The player, the crowd or the umpire?”

Ben smiled at her a little, the first time he had ever seen him acknowledge her. “None of them,” he replied. “I’m the ball boy. I ain’t got a dog in the fight, I don’t get involved unless I need to, and really I’m just there so I can get my hands on as many balls as quickly as possible!”

As the debate about social media rattled on, Callum signalled to Ben that he was going to pop to the toilet. Once he was in there, he leaned his back against the wall and let out a large breath he felt he had been holding in. His mind was playing a few tricks on him. It always did this, let him get excited and optimistic about something before dragging him down until he felt nothing but failure.

Callum wondered if he had done the right thing kissing Ben. He had wanted to for so long, and he couldn’t even put into words how it had felt. Right, that was it. It had felt like all the best energy had rushed around his body, and it just felt right.

Moving towards the mirror to see what state his face was in, he couldn’t help but notice the blurs that appeared over his face. It was dirty, and he was just about to reach for some tissue to wipe it clean when something caught his eye.

Leaning in, it looked like some soap streaks had been smeared onto the mirror. He breathed deeply onto the glass, making them stand out; first a zero, then a five, followed by a one and a two. He couldn’t make out the last two digits, but he had an idea of what they could be, and he just needed to confirm.

Opening the door, Callum stepped back into the room. The radio in the production crew’s pocket started crackling, and he adjusted his ear piece, listening to the information that was being passed to him. “Alright everyone, it’s safe to go back in the house now,” he said, ushering them towards the door. “Me and the camera will go at the back. Just to make sure everyone gets there in one piece without wandering off.”

Callum rolled his eyes at the obvious implication, before tapping one of his housemates on the shoulder, causing her to turn about. “Here, Frank?” he said loudly. “You ever been to California?”

The young woman looked confused at the question, shaking her head in response. It wasn’t her reaction he was looking for though, catching Ben beaming back at him from the corner. He had it.

“Come on!” the crew member said. “Some of us haven’t got all day!”

As Ben passed him, he received another withering look, and Callum had to ask when he caught up to him in the corridor. “What’s all that about with face ache?” he asked. “Looks like he’s got it in for you.”

Ben shrugged it off. “You know me, I make friends everywhere I go, don’t I?” Callum didn’t buy his answer one little bit, but he let it drop for now. With the day Ben had, he didn’t want to push anything. Instead, he let his hand brush against his own as they walked along together in the darkness. It wasn’t enough, but it would be enough for that moment.

When they got back into the house, they all wrinkled up their noses at the smell. “It stinks like a wet dog in here!” Dotty complained, as Big Brother called Simon to the Diary Room.

“Remind you of your past conquests, does it?” Ben said, squeezing her shoulder with a smile before running off when she picked up a pear to hurl at him. He almost ran straight into Simon coming out the door.

“Everyone, we need to gather together!” he called out waving the envelope. “Big Brother has entrusted me with an envelope to read out!”

“A task?” Kat called hopefully, as they all gathered around the dining table. “Or nominations! We’ve got to have one of them! We usually have them days ago! It’s been right dull in here recently!”

Simon opened the envelope up and cleared his throat. _“Housemates, Big Brother has been so busy that they have forgotten so many of their jobs this week! In order to catch up, tomorrow we will be having A Week in a Day, where you will be completing tasks, earning your shopping budget, nominating and having a host of dramatic twists and turns, before at least one of you will leave the Big Brother house. Who goes? You decide.”_

“Well,” Ben said, glancing towards Callum. “You’ve got your wish, Kat. I don’t think it’s gonna be a dull day. Looks like tomorrow could change everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
> 
> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading x


	18. One Week in One Day

After Big Brother’s announcement, all the housemates seemed to be on edge. They were rattling around the house like rats in a cage, not entirely sure how they would be expected to live a whole week’s worth of events in just one day.

No one could go into the lounge; Big Brother had covered the sofas with tarpaulin, and taped it off with red and white, like it was a crime scene. The outside wasn’t an option either, as it was still tipping it down with rain outside, the bullet drops stabbing into the pane of the window.

Not long after, they had made a quick meal, most of them hungry even if their stomachs were a little nerve stricken with the change to their routine. Habiba added some baked beans to the salad while Callum’s back was turned after Vinney complained one too many times about having a meal without protein. It perhaps would have been better to warm them up first.

As soon as they had finished dinner, Big Brother called them to be locked into the bedroom. It was getting late anyway, the excitement of the day fizzing out, their nerves shot to pieces, and the cold baked beans rattling around in their tummies. They all needed a rest, and to get some sleep for tomorrow.

When he started to get ready for bed, a slight shyness suddenly glazed over Callum now the adrenaline has started to dissipate. The moment with Ben in the camera run almost felt like a dream now, something he imagined until the proof was placed in front of him. That feeling still tingled though, the fire simmering over his soul. That couldn’t be imagined. It felt too real.

Crawling into bed next to bed felt so natural though, even though he could sense Simon’s eyes boring a hole into his head from the other side of the room. That was a barrier up between him and Ben though, one of his own making when he brought up Whitney. He could almost hear the photograph that was sizzling away in his bedside drawer, hidden from view, but still very much there.

Callum had to though. He had to pretend for a moment that she wasn’t there. He felt suffocated when he thought of being with her, but he also felt comforted at the certainty, the way a caged bird knows their routine, knows their surroundings and knows how stifling every day of their life will be without freedom.

Looking at Ben next to him was like the antidote to that, as he sat with his back against the headboard, tearing a piece of paper up that he had picked off from some label for a bottle. Callum could watch him forever, biting his lip at the concentration of his efforts.

Habiba scurried over and knelt down by the bed. “Apparently Ruby’s had her tongue down Kush’s throat again! Someone’s clearly searching for screen time! Imagine snogging someone just so you can get your name out there? Urgh. I can’t believe Kush would do something like that! I've heard they've gone even further as well.”

Callum stared at her, but she didn’t seem to realise the inference of her comment. Great, that would be another thing on his mind. At least there weren’t any cameras on them both when they were in the camera run. It would be their little secret for now.

“Anyway, I better get back to bed so Dotty’s got someone to mutter her complaints to about Ruby. I didn’t know there were so many cinnamons for the word harlot, truth be told. It’s like sleeping next to an episode of Countdown,” she complained, before darting her eyes between Callum and Ben. “I’ll leave you both…to sleep.”

Once Callum gave her a little wave, something appeared in front of his face. “What’s this?” he asked, holding the small piece of paper Ben had thrust at him.

“It’s for you,” he replied with a shrug.

Callum turned it around in his fingers a few times. A bird. He smiled as he smoothed it down before putting it over on the side.

“Oh going on the junk pile is it?” Ben said with a laugh.

Callum tutted. “Don’t call it that!”

“It’s fine, it should be there, it’s just a bit of paper. It doesn’t last forever. Nothing does,” he said wistfully.

“Not forever,” Callum replied. “It won’t be forever.”

Ben rubbed his foot against Callum’s ankle just as the lights went off. They couldn’t do what they did in the camera run, not at the moment, and that was pure torture; to want and not have. It was a desire so strong and unrelentless that it felt impossible to survive its clutches.

Instead, they clutched onto each other under the covers; it satisfied the need, but not the hunger.

When Callum woke up the next morning, he felt a body on the bed, the weight laden on the mattress next to him. He smiled happily to himself; Ben had finally stayed.

Callum hurled out an arm next to him and felt around on the pillow, hitting flesh. Something didn’t seem right. He opened his eyes anxiously, and almost jumped out the bed. Beaming back at him from across the bed, was Simon.

Quickly Callum sat up, before realising he didn’t have a top on. He vaguely remembered that happening in the night, the tossing and turning between sleep and awake, the warmness and fire of the body next to him causing a burn to drift across when all that could happen was gentle fingers and linked legs.

Now, though, it felt exposing, and he brought the duvet up higher to cover himself up. “What are you doing?” Callum asked, a slight hesitancy in his voice. He couldn’t help but notice that Simon was topless too

“Oh, would you believe it? I dropped a whole mug of tea over my bed! Big Brother have put a new sofa in, but it seems really hard on my back, and it’s strange to sit at the table with just a pair of boxers on, so I thought I’d just take a seat in here.”

Callum looked around. All the other beds were empty, apart from the one that Dotty was currently laying in. She had just woken with the commotion and looked over to the bed with her eyes wide.

“You don’t mind do you?” Simon asked, though the question seemed to come a little too late in Callum’s opinion. “We’re all so close, aren’t we? I didn’t think you’d mind. You’ve been so good to me since us newbies came in here.”

Callum thought he heard Dotty cough out something. “Might not be such a good idea though, mate,” he responded. “Don’t want anyone watching to get the wrong idea.”

Simon nodded. “Of, course; you’re taken aren’t you?” he said, getting off the bed, and stretching in front of Callum. “You’ll have to show me a picture sometime. If you’ve got one.”

Callum nodded as Simon started to walk back towards his bed, before frowning a little. It was just a coincidence right? Lots of people must have that same type of boxers as he did. He couldn’t help the drop in his stomach though, and his slight shudder when he realised he didn’t wear underwear to bed, just some jogging bottoms.

Simon pulled on a t-shirt, giving him a huge smile as he walked out the door. He didn’t seem at all knocked by Callum’s rejection. It was as if he hadn’t heard it, or believed it.

“That’s not just me, right?” Dotty asked sitting up in bed, and flinging an arm to the door that Simon had just walked out. “He’s pure whackadoodle?”

Callum gave a shrug. Maybe he was overreacting. “I just think he’s a bit lonely!” he said, trying to explain the circumstances if he could. “I know how that feels.”

“Yeah. I know that feeling, and all.” There was a silence between them for a moment. “That being said, I don’t go snuggle up in someone’s bed like a solitary earwig. You were taking your life in your hands not pushing him out on sight, weren’t you?”

“He’d understand,” Callum said, though his nerves jangled at the concealed confession. It wasn’t clear who she had meant but the implication had been there, and he had confirmed it. That was something she could play with if she wanted. That was something she could make him pay with if she desired.

Dotty looked at him, thoughts seeming to run through her head before she settled on one. “How about you make me some breakfast then?” she said with a smile. “I reckon we could both do with a little pick-me-up.”

“Yeah, alright” he chirped back, relief filling his body as he climbed out of the bed and pulled on a shirt.

They both walked out into the main room, and despite the worrying start, Callum had high hopes for the day.

_“This is Big Brother. Would all housemates please gather on the sofa.”_

Or, perhaps it would all be downhill from here, he thought as they all made their way to the new couches. They looked the same as the old ones, just that factory industrial smell to indicate they were brand new.

_“Housemates, it is time for nominations. As Big Brother is short on time this week, you will all only have one vote and be nominating now; face to face.”_

They all looked around each other, little hesitations and vulnerabilities kicking in at the realisation. It would be different nominating in front of other people. There was no easy way to look someone in the eye and tell them that you didn’t want them there.

_“However-,”_

Oh god. He hated when they did this. It never ended well.

_“Before entering the house, all housemates agreed to follow Big Brother’s rules and regulation regarding the discussion of nominations. On Day Thirty One, Raby said in a conversation with Callum in the lounge: ‘I don’t think you really believe that, Callum. You clearly get on well with Ben, but you’ve still walked in there and nominated him’. On Day Thirty Two in a conversation with Ben in The Snug, Callum said: ‘You can’t blame me for something that happened a few days after I met you. It ain’t like I did it in the last nominations.’”_

Callum closed his eyes. He hadn’t even considered the punishment at the time. He hadn’t even cared.

_“As a result of their rule break, neither Callum or Ruby will take part in this week’s nominations.”_

That didn’t seem like much of a punishment to Callum. It was actually a blessing. He didn’t have to stand up and pick anyone and then have to look them in the eye over porridge in the morning. However, looking over to Ruby, it was clear to see she was fuming at the idea of not having her say.

_“Callum, would you please go to the storeroom to collect the whiteboards and pens and give one to each of your housemates, apart from Ruby”_

When he had done as requested, Big Brother told them to write the name of the person they wanted to nominate on their board, and the name of the first person to reveal their vote came up on the screen.

“ _Ben, would you please stand up stand up, and give the name of your nomination with a full and frank reason for this nomination.”_

Standing up, Ben turned his board around. “Simon. He’s a creepy little perv and I want him the fuck away from here,” he said, before throwing his board onto the coffee table and dropping back on to the sofa, laying his legs out and folding his arms in dissidence. It had certainly solved any of the mystery behind Ben’s speedy nominations in the Diary Room.

“It’s fine,” Simon said looking around at everyone with a smile. “I knew this was a part of it when I came in here. It’s all a game isn’t it? We all have to work to find reasons to nominate each other.”

Callum shot out a hand, as Ben started to sit up on the couch at the statement, and gently pushed at his arm, getting him to slowly retreat back rather than responding.

“It weren’t exactly cryptic, was it?” Dotty snorted out. “Saying someone doesn’t do the washing up is scrabbling to find a reason, not blatantly telling them they’re a bed-creeping toad.”

Ben looked at her curiously, before narrowing his eyes at Callum, who had decided that Vinney’s foot was suddenly fascinating to look at. It probably wasn’t the best time in the world to reveal that nugget of information.

_“Dotty, would you please stand up and reveal your nomination.”_

She didn’t seem nervous, and a flash of the Dotty he knew so well when she came in the house sparked through. Or perhaps that wasn’t her at all. “My nomination is for Ruby,” she said, holding up her whiteboard which showed the woman’s name surrounded with every curse word under the sun. “I think she’s come in and tried to take over. We’ve been here for weeks; you can’t just stick your stiletto in and pretend you’ve been here all along. I think the fumes from her cheap, miscoloured foundation have addled her brain.”

Ruby seemed to shake her head, but barely flutter an eyelid otherwise. “Just because you can’t take me coming in here and doing what you’ve tried to for weeks, you’re nominating me?” she replied. “I don’t know why you find me so much of a threat, you’re just some lonely, twisted little girl who needs to grow up.”

Dotty didn’t respond, instead biting her lip. She’s said her piece. For now.

_“Frankie, would you please stand up and reveal your nomination.”_

She looked a bit nervous, pulling at her shirt when she stood up before turning over her board. “My vote is for Kush. I don’t think we’ve talked since I came in. He’s seems a nice good guy, but he’s the only person who I haven’t got to know. He seems a little distracted to do that.”

Callum couldn’t help but notice that Ben raised his eyebrows in shock a little. He had expected her to nominate him. It was now three votes in, and each of them had plumped for someone different. However, the rest of the votes proved less of a variety, with Habiba nominating Simon. Ruby received two more votes from Kat and Tubbs while both Kush and Vinney nominated Tubbs for eviction. Unsurprisingly, Simon picked Ben to vote for, but it was difficult to hear the reason when there was loud singing from the nominee over it.

_“Thank you, housemates. Big Brother can now reveal that the housemates up for eviction are Ben, Kush, Ruby, Simon and Tubbs.”_

There was nothing that followed, no update on when or how the eviction would take place. Callum felt nervous now. He didn’t want Ben to leave him, and especially not like this with so little time to prepare. It seemed that anyone who received a vote was up, and it put resentment into his heart towards Simon.

“Well if they’re talking about you then you know you’re doing something right!” Ruby said at the news. “Only sorry I couldn’t get my nominations in.”

“We know you’d nominate me anyway!” Dotty said with a roll of her eyes.

“Actually, as annoying you are, and the fact your hobo dress sense makes you stink of more than desperation, at least you’re honest,” she replied. “I would have gone for Callum or Habiba. I can’t bear liars.”

Callum chewed at his lip. It wasn’t something he felt comfortable with other people accusing him of, but he knew he was a liar. Habiba’s chin seemed to tremble though, and she ran out of the room. He moved to go after her, and this time it was Ben’s arm on his. “Leave her,” he said. “Give her a bit of space.”

There wasn’t really that long for any alone time or space, before Big Brother called them back to the sofa for the shopping task. They were told that for the task this week they would be facing up to their greatest fears, and be given a range of independent tasks to test their mental resilience and strength.

The first housemate called was Simon who headed to the task room with a smile on his face.

“Can we lock the door now?” Ben mumbled, gently leaning his head on Callum’s shoulder where they were standing by the kitchen counter. “They can just find his skeleton in years to come lurking behind a pillar with a pair of binoculars.”

“Hey!” a voice from the lounge called out. “He’s on the TV! Simon’s on the television!”

They all dashed to the living room to check, and sure enough, on the screen in the middle of the wall, was the task room. Simon’s face was etched in mild horror.

“That ain’t a great expression to show on telly!” Kat commented. “That’s either his face of fear or his blowing his load face!”

“I suppose we wouldn’t know,” Ruby replied. “What do you think, Callum? You’re best placed to have a guess.”

“Leave him alone!” Dotty said. “No one wants to listen to your underhand little comments. Just because you’re getting finger banged two seconds after you walked in, it doesn’t mean all our standards slide as low as your knickers.”

Frankie was squinting at the screen. “Are they puppies?” she asked, looking around to get confirmation that she wasn’t imagining the sight.

As they all gathered closer, it was clear that she wasn’t wrong, as a heap of Labradors bounded about happily.

“No one’s scared of puppies!” Tubbs exclaimed, waving a dismissive hand at the screen.

“Someone people don’t like dogs,” Kush argued.

“Yeah, dogs! Big, growling, fang-toting mutts! Not tiny little balls of fluff!” Kat commented back.

“Well, it’s obvious he’s put that on the application form, ain’t he?” Ben said with a shake of his head. “The lying little toerag thought they might do something like this and gone for something easy!”

Callum tried to remember what he put under his fears in case he had to go into the room and do the same thing. He thought it was spiders. God, he hoped it wasn’t spiders. Or birds. Squirrels would probably be best out of it as well. Maybe one of those faux fur rugs he could handle. He could probably deal with that.

Looking back at the screen, Simon was holding a puppy gingerly in his hands as its little nose twitched in the air.

“I wish we were allowed to keep them,” Habiba said, pining at the screen. “I’d love a dog to snuggle up with in bed at night.”

Dotty raised her hand up as Ben started to open his mouth. “Fuck very much off!”

“Well, if we all get cute little animals to play with, we’ll pass this task easy and get through the day no probs!” Kat said, rubbing her hands together.

One at a time, the housemates were all called in as the rest of them watched the escapades on the screen. The other’s ‘fears’ seemed more off putting that Simon’s, as Kush had snakes to deal with and Vinney shrieked his way through a spider task.

Finally, it was Callum’s turn to be called in, and he pushed at the task room door hesitantly, waiting to see what creature would pounce out at him. What he didn’t expect was the room to be empty, apart from one, solitary person in the middle.

“Alright, Whit,” he said, as his voice trembled out. He wanted to dive forward and hug her, just envelope her in the biggest cuddle. However, as he walked closer, she held her hand up, motioning him to stop. “How are you?”

He wasn’t sure if it was a sob or a laugh she responded with. Sometimes he couldn’t read her at all. “How am I?” she asked, and he had missed her voice, even if it was filled with scorn and anger. “That’s all you got to say to me? How am I?”

There clearly wasn’t going to be any small talk, and Callum just wished he had time to prepare for this. He just wish he had time to make up what he was going to say. “I thought you might be angry,” he explained, blocking the reason why to the back of his mind. “I know you said not to cuddle up to any girls, and I’ve been friendly with Habs a lot, and Kat as well, but you get really close to people in here, Whit. Sometimes you need a bit of affection.”

She looked back at him as if he’d lost his mind, as if the words that came out of his mouth were a different language, and he felt pulled and dragged back to his life outside; he felt shoved back into a cage. “You think this is about Habiba?” she exclaimed. “You really going to stand there, after I’ve been watching you for weeks and deny what you’ve been doing?”

It was all escaping, all of it, and he wanted to shove it all back into the box. “Don’t do this Whit,” he warned. Once things were out, they couldn’t go back. He didn’t know if he was ready.

“When shall we do it?” she said, her hands on her hips. “At our wedding in a couple of weeks?”

There wasn’t anything he could say. There wasn’t a lie that could coat and cover this all up anymore.

“No!” she continued, not waiting for a response. “Cause you blocked me out, ain’t you? Pretended like I didn’t exist! You know this ain’t about you snuggling up to another woman! Callum!”

“It ain’t like that with us!” he said, and his words came out all wrong.

“No? What’s it like? Explain to me why you been all over him!” Whitney replied. She knew. She knew about him. And if she did, then everyone else did too.

“Nothing’s happened,” he said. That lie was an easy one.

Whitney scoffed though. She didn’t believe it. “That don’t mean you don’t want it to! You’ve made that perfectly clear!” she continued, and every words was a punch in the gut. Yet every word was a bar broken from the cage. “You’ve kissed him though, ain’t you?”

“We ain’t,” he whispered. No one had seen that. It didn’t count as a lie if no one had seen it.

Whitney looked as though she were about to pull her hair out. “You left your microphones on you idiots!” she cried, and the words hit him like stones. The fact he hadn’t even thought about the sound. He was so consumed with what could be seen, he didn’t think about what could be heard.

“It probably weren’t like it sounded, Whit,” he said quietly, but the fight wasn’t there. It was all unravelling, all of it before his eyes; every lie, every truth, everything.

“Stop,” she said, and the anger was dropping down out of her voice. “Just stop. Please, if you love me in any way, then you’ll stop making out like it’s in my head, and most importantly you’ll stop making out like it’s all in your head. You’ve got to grow up sometime, Callum. You can’t stay a scared little boy, flying around trying to make everyone else happy. You’ve got to face up to the truth, no matter how scary it is. You can run away, but he will still always be there.”

“I really didn’t want to hurt you,” he cried, and he moved closer to Whitney, tentatively at first but with bigger strides when she didn’t push him away. He fumbled around trying to take her hand. “I never want to hurt you.”

She nodded through her tears. “I know, but you have, and you’re hurting yourself too,” she said. “What you did in that loft, and what you gave up for him. Didn’t that tell you anything?”

Callum hadn’t wanted to leave Ben; the money hadn’t mattered, getting out the house hadn’t mattered. The only important thing in his life had been getting back to him. He could survive without everything else in the world, he’d proved that to himself his whole life. But he didn’t know if he could survive without Ben. And he didn’t want to find out.

“I’m sorry,” he said. That was the only way he could make the confession, the only way he could speak it for now.

“I know,” she said nodding, before wiping away his tears and then her own. “I ain’t mad. Well, I was. Two weeks ago, I was ready to rip your balls off, but I ain’t angry now, not really. I’m just trying to get my life together. Trying to start again.”

_“Callum, your time is up. Please leave the task room.”_

“Can I help?” he offered. “I want to help you.”

Whitney shook her head. “You already have,” she said, before blowing him a kiss. “Go on! We’ll speak soon. He’ll be waiting, won’t he?”

When Callum came out, there was nowhere to hide, no where to go and wipe his tears. He felt exposed again, walking into the lounge where he knew they had all been sitting around and watching. He didn’t care what they all thought though. He only cared about Ben, who was perched on the sofa with a face like thunder. “Ben,” he tried, but was ignored as the man got up without even a look, and walked out into the garden.

Callum couldn’t stay with the others, knowing what they were thinking, so instead he walked into the bedroom, sitting on the bed for a moment to breathe. It wasn’t long before he heard the door open and he begged to high heavens that it wasn’t Simon. He just wated to be on his own.

“It’s not the best thing, being on your own,” Habiba said, figuring out his thoughts. “You feel that it should be good for you, give you thinking time, but it can just make you feel lonely. You can’t hide away forever. Or let things hide away.”

Callum nodded, and immediately opened up the drawer, digging through, before pulling out the photo. He placed it on the brim of the Stetson briefly.

“Purple’s not a colour that many people can pull off, but it does suit Wanda,” Habiba said, looking at the bridesmaid’s dress in the photo.

“Habs,” Callum said in a whisper. “You don’t have to keep doing that now. I can’t keep ignoring her name.”

She patted his leg with a smile. “I think Whitney deserves to have a decision made,” she said. “You can’t head out into the world if you still have one foot in the door.”

“What if I’m still not ready to head out anywhere?” Callum asked, picking up the picture.

“You will be,” Habiba said, before reaching over and holding his hand. “You will be.”

As the rest of the housemates watched Frankie on the screen having to eat a range of seafood, Callum quietly headed to the Diary Room.

_“Good Afternoon, Callum. How are you today?”_

“On edge a bit, I guess. I’m a bit worried what else you’re gonna chuck at me. At us,” he said, before smoothing down the photo in his fingers. “it ain’t been an easy day.”

_“Why is that, Callum?”_

“I guess it should be because the thing that I was scared of and tried not to think about has happened, but that ain’t it. I know I should feel relieved, like there’s this big weight off my shoulders and I can walk about like I got brass balls, with my head held high. That’s the expectation, ain’t it?”

_“How do you feel?”_

Callum thought carefully about the sentence. “Lost,” he confessed. “I feel lost still. I don’t know how to move forward, no one ever tells you how to do these things. I just want to be sure. I know how I feel, but I don’t know how to make that real. I brought this.”

Waving the photograph of Whitney at the camera, he placed it down on the side of the chair. “I wasn’t sure what to do with it really,” he said. “I can’t keep it, it ain’t mine and I don’t want to just hide it in a drawer. She don’t deserve that. Can you give it back to her please?”

_“We’ll pass it on. Is there anything else you’d like to talk to Big Brother about?”_

There was plenty, lots he wanted to say and get off his mind and his chest. It felt easy in this chair, designed to make confessions and pull you inside out. But have to be careful who you trust.

When he returned from the Diary Room, Tubbs was now on the screen, sitting on a chair in the empty task room. Apparently, he feared nothing. Callum wasn’t sure if that was the scariest thing of all.

Ben wasn’t one of the housemates sitting around watching though, and Callum went out into the garden. He wasn’t in with the chickens, and he wandered if the absence of Missy made it harder t even step foot in there. Callum strolled passed the coop, giving Connie a reluctant wave when she appeared, fluttering a wing at him.

Dropping down on the bench, Callum looked up at the sky. “I think the rain’s stopped now,” he said, as the clouds lightened. “It looks like the sun’s about to come out.”

“Nah, that’s just what it wants you to think,” Ben said at the other end of the bench. “It don’t take long for the storm clouds to reappear.”

“I’m sorry,” Callum said, not able to make small talk any longer. “For what I said in that room. I didn’t mean it.”

Ben gave a chuckle and nodded. “Didn’t you?” he said. “Cause that’s exactly what you said in there about me.”

“I was just scared,” Callum confessed. “I didn’t expect her to be there and I just panicked. I didn’t want to hurt her.”

“But it’s fine to hurt me?” Ben replied, and he could hear from the tone that he had. “That seems alright to you?”

Callum stood up and grabbed Ben’s hand, not giving him the option to refuse. “Come on!” he said, using his body weight to haul him off the seat. “I ain’t gonna sit here and wallow all day.”

He gave a little smile when Ben’s fingers clamped a little tighter around his hand as they walked over the wet grass. The door of The Snug gave an announcing creak as Callum opened it and pulled them both through.

He could feel Ben’s eyes on him, curious and questioning. “You think having a cuddle is gonna make it all better?” he mumbled out, as Callum rearranged the small room. “It don’t work like that. It ain’t that easy.”

“I know,” Callum replied quickly. He didn’t need to be told. Nothing about any of this had been easy. “I’ve gotta do something though. I can’t just sit around and do nothing anymore.”

He quickly waved his hand, beckoning Ben to come nearer. There was still reluctance, one that happened when you disappointed someone so many times, but Callum tried not to think of that. He wanted to take that away.

As soon as Ben sat down, he pulled the cover over both their heads, the furry blanket encasing them, just enough light peeping through the gaps in the weaving for them to see each other. “Tell me how you know things,” he asked immediately, and he saw Ben’s expression change before he pointed to his microphone.

“Frankie gave me an idea,” Callum said, bringing his hand up and moving Ben’s chin until his eyes were brought back. Once he knew he had Ben’s attention, he started to finger spell out the alphabet with his hands. “Yeah?”

The realisation was quick over Ben’s face, and he nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah,” he said. “I think it’s probably time.”

“How do you know things?” Callum repeated in a whisper, though he knew the microphones would still pick it up.

“Same as you did,” Ben said, before pointing to his palm and then signing out the letters L-E-R.

It was what Callum had started to assume, and it just confirmed it for him. “What is it?” Callum said. “There’s something that’s been bothering you right from the start.”

Ben gave a sigh, still clearly reluctant to say anything, still being pulled back. He looked at Callum though, and his eyes softened, possibly because it would be impossible to refuse someone with a furry pink blanket on their head.

Watching Ben’s fingers carefully as they started to spell, he picked up the word. A-U-D-I-T-I-O-N. Callum furrowed his eyes, before pointing at Ben.

Quickly shaking his head, Ben lifted his own hand and gestured back towards Callum. “Mine?” he mouthed out, his fingers prodding into his own chest.

Ben nodded, his face turning soft, before signing out some more letters: L-A-S-T, before holding up one finger.

Callum still wasn’t sure why that was noteworthy enough to have caused conflict with Ben. It would have been the same as everyone else in the house, he was certain. Except maybe Tubbs, who he was pretty sure must have walked in, held a gun to the production team’s head then walked out with a place guaranteed.

Ben lifted his hands and mimed the charades signal for ‘film’, before lowering his arms. He slipped his fingers in with Callum’s. “They lied when they said it wasn’t.”

It clicked then, and that day came flooding back immediately. That day he had ignored and pretended hadn’t happened. That day that he let everything out, all his deepest darkest secrets to what he thought was one stranger, enticed by that room and its masquerade of safety and care.

“Don’t worry,” Ben said, shuffling closer, placing his hand on Callum’s cheek. “You don’t have to worry. It’s sorted.”

Callum shook his head. They had the video of everything he said. It belonged to Big Brother, they could do with it as they wanted. “How is it sorted?” he replied. “They own it. They own me.”

Ben sat up a little and got as close as he could, his thigh against Callum’s and despite everything he couldn’t ignore the background buzz of having his skin so close, just muffled by a few thin scraps of clothing. “They don’t!” he insisted, before biting his lip. “Trust me. I wouldn’t let that happen to you, Callum. You don’t belong to anyone.”

“But how-“ he started, before Ben leaned in and silenced him with a kiss. It took some of the stress away, some of the worry about how many people had a hand on his soul ready to try and rip it out.

Callum leaned into the kiss. It was different to the one in the camera run, more certain and more open, and more filled with hidden messages that Ben was trying to let him know. When he leaned back, he smiled towards Callum. “Well, now we’re under here…” he said, before unclipping his microphone and pulling out the wire.

Following, suit, Callum flung the now defunct pack to the side. There was more purpose now; yesterday he didn’t think; not about what he wanted or the consequences. There was more light now, less shadows caused by the bars of the cage.

Ben grabbed the front of his shirt pulling him against him for another kiss while trying to navigate them both into laying down. They clattered together clumsily, and Callum couldn’t help but think he was glad the blanket was over them.

A little bit of insecurity crept in; he knew that Whitney was always too lovely to bring it up, but their sex life had never been anything to write home about. She was encouraging, and smiley, the same tact you’d give a child learning to tie their show laces. Supporting them with their effort, even though the bow definitely didn’t get tied, and you had to take over doing it yourself. And there was never a double knot. That was a notion of fantasy. She would always be moving his hands about where she wanted them, and pushing him onto his back and taking over. The least he could do at that point was close his eyes and try and stay hard for her. Sometimes it worked; he’d be able to pick an image where he could disassociate the touch with the thought. And often it didn’t.

Now though, it really wasn’t much of a task at all. It just seemed to be something that happened effortlessly, with just a brief touch and on occasion, just a thought. As he pushed Ben onto his back, causing a moan and a tight grip on Callum’s back, he couldn’t help making the comparison in his head; how different it could be with one person than another. How more intense it was and how much more you could want it.

Callum continued to kiss. It was a little bit addictive kissing someone you fancied; where everything burnt through you like an eternal flame. That’s what this was at the centre of it all. And he was allowed to do this. He felt like Charlie when the gates of the factory opened and his eyes were allowed to gorge of the sweet treats that were laden in every corner.

When Ben reached down and traced the length of him through his joggers with just a light couple of fingers it was almost too much too bear. Now he felt like that German boy who suddenly fell into the river of chocolate, and he gripped the pillows tight with his fist, his breaths coming out in grunting hits and he had to shut his eyes to stop himself from falling over the edge. He barely managed it when Ben curled his palm into a light fist and started to rub. Callum could feel every fibre of the material, like a million tiny fingertips caressing at his cock, and he wasn’t sure how long he could hold on.

“Get up!” a voice shouted. “You’re needed, so slip out anything that needs sliding out and hurry up!”

Both he and Ben scrabbled to sit up, poking their heads out the cover to face the direction of the sound. Callum’s eyes squinted towards the light bleeding in. The sun had come out now.

“Fuck me, Dotty!” Ben called out. Callum couldn’t help wrinkle his nose in delight at the sight of his hair wisped out of place by the blanket, and his cheeks blotchy with feathered pink. “Is this you paying me back for humming the Adam’s Family theme tune when you put that dress on? Cause darlin’ it really ain’t a fair pay back!”

“Do you think I want to see you two pawing away at each other?” she insisted, screwing up her nose. “Big Brother has been calling you and Callum to the sofa for the last five minutes! Habiba had to pour a glass of water on Simon to stop him from coming to get you, and I thought you’d prefer me than Stalkers McGee ploughing in and claiming to accidently fall mouth first onto Callum’s dick!”

“What do they want?” Callum asked, rubbing his face with his hand. Frustration was now coursing through him, and he was ten seconds away from punching his way through the wall of this house.

“Do I look like your fan club?” Dotty huffed. “I’d assume it’s something to do with the task. “

That’s what Callum thought too, at least that’s what he feared. Ben still hadn’t received his challenge, and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t get a basketful of puppies. There was a sudden tut as Dotty stumbled when Habiba ran into her. “Are they coming?” she said, out of breath.

“Apparently not,” Ben muttered, before waving both women away. “Give us a minute will you.”

When they left, Callum gave a groan before dropping down and resting his head on Ben’s thigh. “I don’t want to go,” he said, his voice muffled into the denim jeans. “Let’s just stay here.”

Ben rubbed at his back. “You can stay down there all day if you like,” he laughed. “We could run away. Just walk out right now.”

“We could be sitting in a pub with a pint and a pie within about ten minutes,” Callum mused, the idea of just heading for the door and not coming back gnawing into his head.

“If you think the first place we’re going when we leave here is a pub, then you are greatly mistaken,“ Ben replied. “Unless you’re fully prepared to go at in a booth while a bar full of old fellas are getting more than they bargained for with the OAP lunchtime special! The pie and pint can wait.”

Two minutes. They could both be out of there in two minutes, leaving all this behind. The temptation to run away was so strong.

Runaway. That’s what he’d always done. Whitney was right, that was how he escaped everything. He’d just move on and hope it didn’t follow him, but it always did. He was tired of running away. He was tired of losing sleep as he listened out for the monsters clawing at his door.

“We can’t though, can we?” Ben said quietly, almost reading his thoughts. “Can’t keep hiding in here forever, either.”

Callum sat up with a groan, and started to kick the blanket off. “Fuck,” he cursed, when he looked down at his joggers. Great; he didn’t even get off, was frustrated as hell but still had to try and hide the darkened patch that had appeared. He started to glance around the room, hoping that maybe an extra pair of trousers would appear in the room. Ben was looking down at his trousers and grinned.

“That’ll teach you to wear light trackies and go smokeless when you’re getting a bit of a tug!” he said, before pointing to his own lap. “The trick is always go with dark colours, you never know when you’re gonna find an opportunity!”

Callum gave a half hearted glare, before pulling one of the smaller blankets out and folding it. “What do you think they’re gonna give you?” he asked, standing up and trying to hold the blanket in a way that covered everything but still looked natural. After a few seconds he gave up trying to make it look casual. “What did you say you were scared of on your form?”

“Fit guys with good hands and decent cocks,” he replied before Callum threw a pillow at him. “What?! If it can work for Simon saying he was scared of puppies and end up having a basket of cute Labradors, then I don’t see why I can’t walk in and find a ribbon wrapped box of horny, gagging for it men, all up and ready for action!”

Callum opened his mouth, before pointing his finger. “And what exactly you gonna do when you find them there with bows on?” he knew Ben was only joking, but a rift of jealousy at the idea still tortured through him.

Ben grinned back. “Pull them off?” he replied. Callum threw another cushion before grabbing Ben near him and tickling, digging his fingers in at his ribs, until he could no longer speak and he was doubled over. “Okay! Okay! I wouldn’t do anything! I swear! I’d be a very good boy; trust me, I’ve got willpower, I’d refuse them throwing themselves at me.”

Callum leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the lips. “Good,” he replied, before leaning back. His smile quickly fell though when he realised he had done it out in the open. It was the smallest of kisses, barely even a brush of the lips, and it had just been such a natural reaction. It was freaking him out a little now though, how he’d done it without even thinking.

The expression on Ben’s face was clear that he’d seen Callum’s insecurity. “We should go in before Dotty gets so flustered she turns back into bat,” he said without any humour on his voice and a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. “Come on.”

They both headed back into the house. The chill was back in the air again, as the sun hid behind a cloud.

“About bloody time!” Kush called out. “I don’t even want to ask what you two have been up to.”

“Come on then, lets get this over with,” Ben called out dropping down next to Callum on the sofa. “This my task announcement, is it?”

There were a few side-eyed looks and throats being cleared which automatically made everything seem like it about to go wrong. “Well, it ain’t really been announced who’s fear it is,” Vinney said, with a shrug, as if he was the only one not understanding. The rest all looked reluctant to say anything.

“What are you getting at?” Callum asked nervously. He was getting the sneaky suspicion that this would somehow involve him holding on to a different kind of creepy crawly.

“The task is for me and Callum to be tied together,” Simon said happily waving about the challenge envelope and the wrist bind. “Well, at least until Big Brother says, I’m sure they don’t mean forever. We have to stay attached with this thing unless we’re in the toilet or the Diary Room. Got to have privacy somewhere, I guess!”

Callum looked towards the wrist bind, and then back at Ben who was glaring at it as though he could explode it with his eyes. The rest of the housemates treated the whole situation like a tennis match, their necks swinging back and forth waiting to see the outcome.

There was nothing they could do though. Not unless they ran away. How long could they run for though? Instead, Callum went and sat in the sofa next to Simon, bringing his blanket with him and holding out his right wrist. The shackled it on, tightening it as though escape was an option.

It was a choice, but one he knew he couldn’t take. He wasn’t running away any more, but he was still hiding in his cage.

“I’m absolutely exhausted,” Simon yawned, as they made their way back from the toilet. Callum had been four times in the past hour, and he was a little concerned that Simon would start to think he had a medical issue and offer to examine him. At the same time, it was the only place he could have true privacy. He could take off the wrist bind, close the door and just sit on the floor for a few seconds.

It was only a brief moment. While one of them was in the toilet, the other had to stand on a spot just outside, and after only a minute or two Simon would call through the door to check he was alright. The first time it had been necessary to go into the toilet; he had to change his joggers, as he wasn’t going to Linus around the blanket for the rest of the evening. The other times had been purely for the escape.

Now though, Callum’s heart sank, as Simon had loudly been yawning for the last five minutes. So far, he’d prevented them sitting down, instead pottering in the kitchen, prepping some vegetables for tea and walking around the garden despite the droplets of rain that were being wisped about by the breeze. It seemed like he was out of ideas now.

“I think I might need a bit of a lie down,” the paramedic continued, giving another large stretch. “Which do you fancy, The Snug or the bedroom?”

Neither. He would like neither, please. Callum sensed that wasn’t an option available. He couldn’t think of an excuse why he couldn’t let Simon lay down. He’d been to the toilet enough times, and Ben was in the Diary Room otherwise he could have gone and escaped in there for a while.

“How ‘bout we go sit on the sofa for a while?” he suggested. It seemed like a safe middle option. A few of the other housemates were chatting there, it was communal and even though Callum’s arm had to stay near Simon, he could scootch his body as far away as possible. “I can chat with Kat, while you have a kip?”

Simon shook his head. “No, those sofas wouldn’t do any good to my back if I slept on them,” he complained. “I’d wake up all stiff.”

“We’ll go in the bedroom then,” Callum mumbled with a tad of annoyance. It was the lesser of two evils. There was no way he would go and huddle up with Simon in The Snug. Perhaps Simon could lay on his bed, and Callum could sit on the floor instead, and that would solve the situation.

When they entered the bedroom, Callum suggested this, but immediately Simon shook his head again. “It wouldn’t work,” he said, the glee almost inching out of his voice. “Not with the way our wrists are tied. I’d have to sleep on my front, and I’m much more comfortable laying flat on my back. I know it’s only a single, but there’s plenty of room on my bed if we both squeeze together.”

“We’ll go on my bed!” Callum blurted out, and he hoped it didn’t sound too enthusiastic. He didn’t want to, but at least there was more space. God, Ben was not going to react well. He hoped it was a very quick nap.

Simon seemed more than happy with this and started to make his way over. He started to plump the pillows on Ben’s side and smooth down the cover. Callum hated the thought of him laying there in Ben’s place. When he woke up in the morning, it was always still slightly warm, always a faint comforting tinge of a scent that was so intrinsically him.

Callum perched awkwardly on the side of the bed at first, but once Simon had shifted over, he had no choice but to lift his legs on and sit against the headboard.

“This is nice,” Simon said, curling up on his side, and shuffling closer with every breath. “Our second time together in bed today. People will start to talk.”

Before Callum could open his mouth, the door was flung open and Habiba entered. She looked aghast at the scene before her, questioning Callum with her expression as though he had lost his mind. He merely shrugged in return, slightly lifting up the wrist bind as a means of explanation.

“I love a slumber party,” she squealed over-enthusiastically, as she raced towards the bed. She crawled over Callum’s legs to plonk herself between him and Simon unceremoniously. “We can have a lovely little chat! Anyone want their nails painted?”

“No,” Simon insisted firmly. “And actually Habiba, I was going to have a little nap, so I’d rather you went elsewhere if you wanted to talk. Nothing personal, of course.”

“No problem,” Habiba said, edging closer to Callum. “You have a snooze, and we’ll have a gossip. Promise to keep our voices down. I know you’ll want your beauty sleep.”

There was nothing more Simon could say, and Callum squeezed Habiba’s arm in thanks as the man reluctantly closed his eyes, having to take a nap now, whether he wanted to or not.

Habiba grinned at him. “So, how was The Snug?” she whispered, curled up into his chest. “Do I have to blacklight clean it before I sit in there again?”

Callum tutted. “No!” he exclaimed back quietly. “It didn’t get that far.”

“Did you want it too?” she asked, before poking him in the side when all he did was smile at her. “Oh come on! I’m a shrivelled up old spinster, I’ve got to get my kicks where I can, even if that means from other people. Please, Callum! Let a girl enjoy this.”

“You ain’t a shrivelled up old anything, Habs!” he reminded her. “We ain’t exactly been in here for decades!”

“Well, it feels like it!” she replied. “I can’t remember what life felt like out of here. Only that it wasn’t good. Whenever I get lonely in here, and complain about how cold the showers are, or the fact that they always send Airwick air fresheners rather than Glade, I just think about my life outside.”

“What about all your stories and celebrity friends?” he asked. The comment of Ruby’s from earlier was still sticking in his mind; about her being a liar. “They’re true, aren’t they?”

She nodded back, but not proudly. “Yeah, that’s not what she was talking about,” she explained, knowing what Callum was referring to. “Its not hard to meet people.”

Callum thought through her comment. “You never mention your friends,” he said softly. “The ones that ain’t famous. I’ve heard you mention your family, the woman with bad breath from your local newsagent, every boyband member from the last thirty years, but I’ve never heard you mention any of your friends.”

“I don’t know if they’re my real friends or not,” she confessed, and Callum hated to hear the cry in her voice. “Like I said, it’s easy to meet people, but how often do they end up being someone you can trust? I’m sure that’s what Ruby meant. One of them that claims to be my friend would have sold a story or two, calling me every name under the sun.”

“But they’re your mates,” Callum said. “Surely they won’t do that?”

“I don’t think they ever were my friends, not really,” she replied, and Callum could feel the warmth and loneliness of a tear bleeding onto his shirt. “To be honest, I’m not even that keen on celebrities, I just know how to get to meet them, and I thought that would make people like me.”

“Did it?” he asked, rubbing a hand onto her arm.

“No, only until they got what they wanted,” she said. “It wasn’t a real friendship, it was just me running around trying to do things for people and thinking that would make a difference. It doesn’t. They’d pretend for a while; messages and calls; meeting up if they really had to once they’d already cancelled four times. Then eventually they’d just stop. I don’t think I’m the easiest person to like.”

“That’s not true!” Callum whispered, pulling her closer. “That ain’t true at all!”

“I know I don’t fit in here either,” Habiba confessed. “It’s the same as the outside. You know when you go to the optician and they try to get you to read those letters while sticking two different lenses over your eyes? I’ve always felt like the fuzzy one, not quite seeing everything the same as other people.”

“I think that’s true of us all in here,” Callum said with a sigh. “We’re all just a little bit broken really.”

Habiba nodded. “That’s what Kat said. She told me about a tv show called ‘Raggy Dolls’ that used to be on years ago. It was about these toys that were made in a factory who didn’t meet the right design criteria, and they were rejected and thrown in the bin. She says we’re all living out lives imperfectly perfect and having adventures just like they were.”

“Are you calling the Big Brother house a rubbish bin?” he said with a small chuckle.

“I think I’m calling the world a garbage skip! Though the stench of Vinney’s socks does make me wonder about this house though!” she said, and Callum was pleased the humour had come back a little. “Like you said, we’re all just a little messed up, aren’t we? Even Handsy there, all he wants is to find love. He just doesn’t know how to find it in the right way. I know how it feels to be constantly rejected.”

“You must have had proper friends at some point though, Habs,” he asked, not understanding how anyone couldn’t like her. “What happened to them?”

“I had them. Ones that I trusted, and who trusted me. That got my humour and didn’t make me feel weird for the things I say or like, or the fact I snort like a badger when I laugh sometimes. Ones that you can sit with and say nothing, and it’s not awkward. I had them,” she explained, before pausing. She swallowed with a gulp. “They’re gone.”

She didn’t need to say anything else. Callum understood. “Well, you can’t get rid of me that easily,” he said. “We need to meet up proper when we’re out of here. That’s what we are, Habs, yeah? Proper. I’ll take you badger snort and all.”

It wasn’t clear if Simon had actually been sleeping, but when Habiba suggested they go to make dinner, Callum gave him a tug with the wrist bind and that seemed to jolt him up quick enough.

As they were preparing the food, Ben sauntered out of the Diary Room, giving a sneer at Simon standing at the counter next to Callum. To his surprise, Ben didn’t wander out into the garden, but instead ambled over to the kitchen and propping himself up next to Habiba on a stool.

“You keeping a close eye out, Simon?” Ben said. “Wouldn’t want Callum’s hand to slip and cut off one of your fingers, would we? That’s gonna make wanking off over the thought of him a bit tricky until the bandage comes off.”

“Ben!” Callum warned.

“What?” he said with a shrug. “We’re all adults here. I’m sure Simon won’t mind admitting that he wishes that were his balls you were rolling about your hand and not a couple of cherry tomatoes. Probably dead on for size accuracy though.”

“Ben!” Callum repeated. He was getting annoyed himself now; it hadn’t been the most relaxing day, and he just wanted to cook dinner for everyone without blood being spilled into the Caesar dressing. Was that too much to ask?

Simon covered Callum’s hand with his own. “It’s fine. You don’t have to protect me,” he said in a comforting yet disturbing tone. Callum wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, but he knew it wasn’t that. “Oh, that reminds me, I think I left something on your bed when we were in there having a cuddle. Don’t worry Ben, I didn’t leave any drool on your pillow.”

“I was watching!” Habiba exclaimed when Ben’s jaw tightened, and his eyes fierce as fire turned to look towards Callum. “Wait, that’s not what I meant! I wasn’t watching anything, I was on the bed when it happened! Not that anything did happen, I was involved too. It was a threesome! Oh God!”

“Don’t worry, Habs,” Ben said, his voice worryingly still and low. “Callum’s used to having two on the go at once.”

With that there was a clatter as the knife he was holding hit the floor, and Callum marched himself round the side of the counter, dragging the dead-weight that was Simon with him. He didn’t try to resist, but with the mood that was coursing through Callum’s body, he would have been able to yank him around with just his pinkie finger.

“With me, now!” he ordered Ben, as he exited the kitchen. When the other man didn’t move, Callum huffed and stomped his way over to the stool. “Do I have to drag you too? Cause I’ll do it! I’ll pull this whole poxy house with me if I have to! Come on!”

Holding out of his hand, he was in two minds over what he thought would happen, but was pleased when Ben took his fingers. Callum was now pulling them both behind him, hoping that they didn’t kill each other in the ten second journey it took to get to the bathroom.

When they arrived, he gestured for Ben to wait by the bath while he went to get two towels, still attached to Simon. Callum opened the toilet door, nodding towards the spot outside, motioning for the other man to wait there as usual when he took off the wrist bind. He hopped up on the toilet bowl, covering the camera with the first towel and the microphone with the second, ensuring it was secure.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to do that,” the voice from outside called out.

“Shut up, Simon!” he snapped back. Callum wasn’t in the mood to hear it. He peered his head out the door. “You, in here now!”

Ben looked at him curiously at first, but then a smirk took over as his eyes read Callum’s face. “Aye, aye, Captain,” he said, increasing the smile mockingly in Simon’s face as he passed. “Try not to give yourself a coronary out here listening in, eh? You’ll be all alone and have to give yourself mouth to mouth! Just one good blow should do it.”

As soon as Ben was inside the cubicle, Callum kicked the door shut. He ripped off both their mic packs, before pressing Ben against the surface hard, launching himself at his lips and running his hands over his body. He couldn’t stop touching him, quickly reaching under Ben’s shirt and gripping the skin there tight enough to bruise as he moaned into his mouth.

“You’re such a secret exhibitionist,” Ben whispered, his lips engorged where Callum had relentlessly sucked on them, and his eyes luringly dark already. “You really gonna fuck me in here with him two steps away?”

“Don’t wannna talk about him,” Callum said, all the heightened and frustrated adrenaline from the day needing to find a way out as the control started to burn away. He used one hand to press Ben back against the door, and the other to reach down to his belt, roughly undoing it with one hand before sliding down the zip. “Do you?”

Before he could give Ben time to answer, he yanked down his trousers a little. Callum slipped his hand inside his boxers, resting his forehead against Ben’s, giving fluttering missed kisses to his cheek. It probably wasn’t the most delicate movement, but the long side with his hand up and down Ben’s length let out a moan from the man that had Callum pressing up against his side, and giving dirty, open mouth grunted kisses to his lips.

He did the same movement again, and then again, probably too rough, and probably too jagged, but the hand that landed and gripped the flesh of his arse spurred him on even further as he tried to get some friction, rolling his hips with every breath.

There was a loud pounding towards the door, and Callum was two seconds away from ripping it off its hinges, pushing Ben down on it and just doing him there. “Fuck off, Simon!” Ben called out, pounding his fist back with one hand, while his other fingers gripped Callum’s arm to make sure he didn’t move it away.

“Uh, mate, it’s me,” Kush’s voice squeaked out apologetically. “Big Brother have called us all to the sofas. I’ve sent Simon in already. He was looking a bit peaky.”

“Kush, we ain’t coming out!” Callum called, as Ben dug his nose into his collar with a kiss and a moan.

“Callum, you have to!” he replied insistently. “They’re doing the eviction, and Big Brother says that if Ben ain’t out in two minutes then he’ll be chucked out automatically. I’ll leave you to it.”

“At this point, two minutes would be enough time to finish me off, and give me a chance to dress for an eviction,” Ben muttered, whining a little when Callum took his hand away and started to remove the towels from the camera and microphone.

“Quick, come on!” Callum said, waving the towel at him, and opening up the door. “Unless you want to be evicted like that!”

“No word of a lie, if I have to be evicted with a raging hard on, love bites filling my neck and bruises over my body, then frankly there are worse ways to go!” Ben said, as Callum tried to drag him out quickly. “It’s not gonna look any less suspect than wandering around holding a towel in front of me!”

Callum pushed Ben through the door into the main house, just in time. The lights were lowered and in large letters the word ‘Eviction’ was written on the screen, and all the other housemates were sitting around on the sofas waiting expectantly.

“God, Big Brother really don’t want you to get it on, do they?” Dotty said with a laugh when she saw the state of them. “They let Kat and Kush go at it like bunnies, even giving them their own locked room and four poster, and every time I see you two you’re having to cover your modesty and twitching at the eye!”

“That ain’t all that’s twitching!” Ben said with an exasperated sulk. “I know some twazzocks would pay a small fortune at a fancy retreat for it, but my bag really ain’t this much delayed gratification!”

“That’s my favourite Wicked song!” Habiba commented happily.

Vinney though had puzzlement on his face. “Wait? What does she mean? You two are…?” he asked curiously waving a finger between the two of them. “Doing the horizontal fandango? Oh. Cool.”

There didn’t seem to be anything else that Vinney needed to say, and the lights lowered even further as Big Brother’s voice rang out.

_“Housemates, this week Ben, Kush, Ruby, Simon and Tubbs are up for eviction, and one of you will leave the Big Brother house tonight. The public have not been voting, and votes have not been counted. In fact, only one vote will count tonight.”_

Callum looked around him, noticing a button in the middle of the table.

_“The nominated housemates will have ninety seconds to decide between themselves who will be evicted tonight. At the end of this time, if you have not reached a group decision, the first nominated housemate to hit the buzzer on the coffee table will decide, and the housemate they name will leave the Big Brother house. Your time starts now.”_

Callum’s heart sped up as a clock appeared on the screen and started counting down. Ben could be evicted from the house in just over a minute and he wasn’t ready for that. Although, it seemed he was alone in that decision.

“Right, well I don’t think Kush should go, do you Simon?” Ruby asked, turning to the man. Eighty six seconds to go. “And I’m not going to vote for you, and I’m sure you wouldn’t vote for me, so that leave you, Ben. Sorry!”

“Oh yeah, you sound really totally full or regret!” Ben snapped out, shaking his head. Only thirty seconds to go. There was nothing Callum could do. He was powerless. “Remind me again, why we shouldn’t give you or The Ambulance Prowler, the heave-ho?”

“Because you’re out voted!” Ruby cried out. It was nine seconds now. Nine heart beats. “You’ve been up most weeks, Ben! No one wants you here!”

The time had stopped. Callum’s heart had stopped when Ruby turned round to hit the buzzer. It didn’t start again until he realised that she didn’t quite reach it before it sounded.

The lights glowed into the room, and they all turned to see who had hit the button. Standing there, unapologetically with his hand still on the mechanism; Tubbs.

_“Tubbs, you have hit the button after the nominated housemates failed to reach a consensus. You must now decide who you want to leave the Big Brother house. This housemate will be evicted immediately. Tubbs, can you now give the name of the person you are evicting from the Big Brother house.”_

Callum’s heart was back in his mouth. He wouldn’t evict Ben, would he? There was a chance. He didn’t know the man that well, or at all really. If he wanted to mark his territory, send a message and make allies in the house, then Ben would be the obvious vote.

“Me!” Tubbs called out, leaning casually on the sofa. “I choose me, Big Brother. Tubbs.”

Well, that was unexpected. His heart was still pounding in his chest though, the stress of the situation making it seem it could hurl itself out of his mouth at any second. Callum reached out his fingers and grabbed Ben’s hand. It was there. He didn’t need to fumble for it, or search for it. He found it where he knew it would be.

“Mate,” Ben said, confusion crossing his face. Though Callum hadn’t wanted Ben to go, he didn’t want anyone else to go that would cause him to be upset. Not after Missy. “Why? Change your mind! Say someone else!”

Big Brother wasn’t going to let that happen though. _“Tubbs, you have been evicted from the Big Brother house. Would you please say your goodbyes and leave by the Diary Room door.”_

Giving a shrug, he started to walk towards the other side of the room, the rest of the housemates scuttling to keep up. “What can I say, guys? It’s been real, but all this conflict ain’t for me. I ain’t up in getting involved in lovers’ tiffs and the what not,” he explained. “Just love one another yeah? Don’t need to be no big deal. Just love the one you’re with and be happy.”

Stopping in front of Callum, he gave him a pat on the back, before leaning in closer “Take care of him, yeah?” he said, before passing something into the palm of Callum’s hand. “He’s a good bloke. Oh yeah, by the way I ain’t never hit anyone by accident in by life.”

With a wink and a “Take it easy, Ben,” just like that he disappeared from their lives.

There wasn’t any time to gather their thoughts though.

_“Housemates, congratulations. All ten of you have survived ‘One Week in One Day’. Tomorrow, you will be back up to eleven. Have a good evening.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
> 
> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx


	19. Week Six

Callum stood staring at the Diary Room a little longer, the door just brushing shut slowly as if it wasn’t quite sure if it wanted to let him go. As if it was calling Tubbs back to give him the chance to change his mind.

It was then that Callum realised. The action wouldn’t have been what Big Brother had expected. They never thought he would say his own name. Tubbs had managed to come in, play the game his own way, and then leave on his own terms.

As the door finally clicked closed, Callum gripped the item in his hand, frowning a little before quickly tucking it into his pocket when he felt a hand on his arm. He smiled at the touch, the warm feather flutter that seeped through, before tugging at an inch of material on his shirt mischievously.

“You ain’t about to run after him and declare your undying love, are you?” Ben said, leaning his cheek gently on Callum’s bicep. “Cause you’re looking at that door like you’re ten seconds away from proposing to it. Got form with that though, ain’t you?”

Callum gave Ben a little shove and a smile, before they both started pottering back into the main part of the house where the others were gathering.

“Well, as long as someone’s throwing themselves off a cliff,” Ruby started, sitting down next to Kush and rubbing his leg. “It doesn’t really matter who.”

“Yeah, save you from giving them a good kick over the edge, don’t it?” Kat muttered back.

“Don’t act like anyone’s really sad to see him go!” Ruby defended. “All he did was eat all our food raw and linger around like a ghost cat. It don’t bother me who went!”

Dotty’s laugh echoed through the house. “Are you joking?” she scoffed, practically pulling her hair out. “You were basically trying to drag Ben out by his ear, and drop kick him through the door!”

“When did you become best buds with him all of a sudden?” Ruby retorted, settling back like a scorpion’s tail ready to strike. “Running out of people that will talk to you, Kirsty?”

The sting had been whipped in and retracted before anyone could even blink. The fact that Ruby knew Dotty’s real name was a sharp reminder that she had been watching, and she saw and knew enough to strike a killer blow. There was venom shooting through her veins.

It had certainly subdued the mood. Callum couldn’t believe that it had all happened in one day. It was as though he finally had time to take a breath. They all did.

Now though, it seemed that breath was fading slightly, as they sat around on the sofas for the next few hours.

“Do you think we’re gonna get any booze?” Kat asked with a yawn. “Cause if not, I’m knocked sparko and gonna head to bed. That’s more than enough excitement for one day.”

“You said you wanted excitement!” Frankie exclaimed with a laugh.

“No, I said I didn’t want it dull!” she replied. “I don’t want to be whisked though everything at whistle stop speed! We passed our task, as long as I know I’m getting a few cans of cherry Pepsi Max and half decent bog roll, then I’m happy!”

Big Brother had announced a little while previously that they had passed their task, and would receive a luxury shopping budget for the next week. That was something to deal with tomorrow though. He was sure that. There would be a fight for the shopping list and everyone would want their oar in over what to get.

“Bit tired too,” Ben said nudging him with his arm. He had been edging closer for the last couple of hours. “Think I’m gonna head to bed.”

He said it with a quick squeeze of Callum’s thigh before getting up with a heave and heading towards the bathroom.

Callum looked around at the room, most weren’t paying attention, didn’t seem to care about Ben’s words or notice that he must have been blushing at the thought. All except Simon, who was looking towards him like Callum had just taken his hamster and stuck it in the toaster before buttering its little charcoaled corpse.

It wasn’t that he wanted to be cruel, making him stand outside the toilet like that. Callum tried to think how he would feel; if he had to wait on the other side of the door and listen to Ben in there with someone else. He would want to run. He’d want to hurtle out and keep going and going until every puff of air was out of his lungs. That or he’d want to go in there and drag the other man out and rip him apart, shred of flesh by shred of flesh, until he was nothing.

So he gave Simon a quick smile, an apology of sorts, because he knew that it could have been him out there. That it still could be.

Getting up, he headed towards the bathroom where Ben was just finishing cleaning his teeth. Callum gave him a passing rub on his back as he went to get his toothbrush while Frankie and Kush chatted on the seat.

As he ran his toothbrush under the tap, his eyes met Ben’s in the mirror darting across to the pair. He only shrugged in return. The two housemates were perhaps trying to get to know each other a little more after the nominations from earlier, and there was some pretty awkward small talk going on. Sometimes you just had to accept that some people didn’t like you and never would.

Ben had left Callum to finish cleaning his teeth, which he did while trying to pick up spots of conversation. They had covered the weather, their jobs and were now lingering on the old chestnut of how strange it was in the house. It was a conversation going nowhere, with both of them keeping up the pretence that they could bond.

Callum gave them a wave goodnight, before heading towards the bedroom. Ruby was perching on the bed laughing with Vinney and Simon. It made him feel a little self conscious, with them all sitting around as he started to get undressed. He gave Vinney a smile, which he slightly returned while being dragged down in the quicksand laughter around him.

When Callum had had put his clothes away, he pulled at the duvet, creeping under and wriggling down until his head hit the pillow. At the same time as he raised his arm, Ben rolled over, fitting into his side. It was strange how something could feel so foreign in your brain, so unlikely and unusual, but the reality just seemed natural and easy.

“If you could be any animal, what would it be?” Ben said, a low mumble into Callum’s t-shirt.

He couldn’t help but laugh, though his eyes were still darting over to the other side of the room. “Well, human is an animal, ain’t it?” he said, resting his hand on Ben’s hair.

“That don’t count,” Ben said, poking him in his side. “You’re no fun.”

Callum ran his fingers through Ben’s hair a little. “I went to the zoo once with school,” he started. “We went around all these different animals, and a load of kids in my class were just banging on the glass and whining about going to the gift shop. I didn’t have any money so it weren’t nothing to me if we didn’t go there. I just remembered thinking how sad all them animals looked, not anything like those shows on the telly when they’re all wandering around in the wild. They looked trapped.”

Ben was quiet but it didn’t feel silent. It was a minute before he said anything. “You know, most people just say something like ‘a cat’,” he remarked, rubbing Callum’s stomach. “Never know what answer I’m gonna get with you.”

“I never say the right thing,” he confessed, his head automatically flitting to the side with the continued laughter from the other end of the room. “Even if I try to, it never comes out quite right. It never sounds like anyone else.”

“That’s why I like you,” Ben said, his voice only in a whisper.

Callum shuffled down a little more, so he could turn to face Ben. He pulled the covers up, so barely only their eyes were peaking out of the blanket. Ben’s hands started rubbing up and down his hips, and he was looking up at Callum with a smile in his gaze. He started to lean forward, slowly and carefully, almost like he was afraid of spooking a nervous horse, and gave Callum a brush to the lips.

“Fancy a bit of a cuddle?” Ben asked, grinning like a sated kitten when he leaned back, and even more so when Callum nodded.

“You aren’t going to be loud are you? Cause I’m just going to bed, and I don’t want to sit there and watch you two all night,” Simon said, walking closer to their side of the room.

It was as if the words closed a door between him and Ben, as they both edged back a little. It was ridiculous, and Callum knew it. A few hours before, he was more than willing to demolish Ben against a door when Simon was standing just outside, but now the thought of someone sitting and watching what they were doing, judging his every move and action, had gotten him out of his head. He couldn’t bear people banging on the glass.

“Don’t worry, Simon!” Ruby called over. “I can’t see them being very long! It’ll be like listening out for popcorn in the microwave. You’ll get a lot of banging around for 30 seconds and then a few stray pops to know that they’re done! That’ll look amazing on screen!”

“I’m gonna kill them,” Ben muttered, as Callum closed his eyes at the words that were whirling around the bedroom and entering his head. “Don’t listen to them. You need to do what you want to do, Callum. Don’t let them have the power. That’s what they want!”

He wasn’t sure who Ben meant, but the firmness in his voice suggested it wasn’t just the two in the room. It was impossible though. The thought of his woeful bedroom skills being examined and analysed till the end of time seemed excruciating. It was bad enough when Whitney used to give a thumbs up when they finished, clearly not even being able to find the words to lie to his face. It was even worse when he used to get a few knowing glances from various members of her friends of family when he walked in on them having a bottle of wine on the sofa.

Ben gave a sigh, bringing him back into this world. “Don’t worry, it’s been a long day,” he replied, stroking his chin a little. “Let’s just have an actual cuddle, shall we?”

He turned over so his back was facing Callum, before waving his hand to come closer. Callum shuffled up, the momentary panic that Ben was angry with him fluttering away, when he started to pull his hand around his waist.

“You can get your body nearer,” Ben said, cricking his neck around a little. “That thing ain’t gonna poke its way through layers of clothing, though a boy can dream.”

Callum shuffled his body nearer, spooning into Ben’s back. He kissed his hair, and hummed into it when Ben linked their fingers together and brought them to his mouth to leave his lips on his hand.

He drowned it all out after that; Simon and Ruby, Big Brother, Whitney and anyone who may be watching. It just didn’t seem to matter as his consciousness drifted away.

**Day Thirty Five**

It was the coldness he noticed at first, the emptiness next to him like someone had ripped away the side of the earth. Callum forced his eyes open, not expecting to see Ben there. He wasn’t wrong. The space next to him was empty again and he was starting to give up the hope that he’d ever be there in the morning. That he’d ever want to stay.

Callum had a shower and got dressed, thankful for small blessings that even though Ben wasn’t there with him that morning, no one else was propped up on the bed either. Simon seemed to be mad at him, wandering around like a love sick puppy. It was ridiculous really. He was starting to believe what everyone was telling him, and it wasn’t just loneliness on the man’s part; that for some reason he was after Callum.

“Did you hear them last night?” Kat said pulling on her top while Callum was sitting on the bed and drying his hair. “Kush and Ruby frolicking around in the bed like a couple of skunks who were trying to wriggle away from the stench they parped out!”

Callum hadn’t heard them. Once he was asleep, that had been it. His dreams and moments of wake had all been merged together, so he didn’t know which bits had been real, and what had just sparked up in his imagination. He remembered the feel of hands. That felt too good too be true, but too glorious to be made up by his mind. He couldn’t recall the difference.

“Nah,” he replied shaking his head at Kat. “They weren’t snogging again, were they? That sorta reminded me of when an anteater tries to get some insects out a log with its tongue.”

Kat threw her old clothing on to the bed with a huff. “No, the tongue weren’t going into the log this time, it was firmly settling into underground territory!” she replied. “You’d think he’d hold back, knowing I was in bed in the same room!”

“You did dump him though, Kat,” Callum replied delicately. He didn’t want to be on the end of her anger. “You can’t expect him to be single forever.”

“Forever?” she squealed back. “It takes longer for my drawers to dry out on the line!”

“I thought you didn’t want him,” he tried to bring up sensitively. “You can’t string him along and hope he’ll keep coming back.”

She sighed, an exhale of admission. “I don’t want him like that, but then neither does she!” she replied. “She’s just getting her claws into him for screen time. Cheeky cow, calling me out for getting my kicks on telly, then the first chance she gets she’s on her back.”

There wasn’t much more he could say to her, not without feeling his own guilt pooling in his chest. Instead, he gave her a quick hug and started to head out to the garden.

The sun was bursting from the sky, kissing goodbye to any sadness or worry that the night brought. Ben was leaning inside the chicken coop, resting his back against the fence. Callum approached, his arm automatically reaching up and just tracing the back of Ben’s hair briefly. “Still damp,” he commented, as his fingers tickled the back of his neck.

“I had a long shower this morning,” Ben said back, tipping his head back. “Left you sleeping like you were dead to the world.”

“You should have woken me,” Callum said, leaning on the outside of the fence as a familiar squawk started to squeal away in the hen house. “I’d have come sat in the bathroom with you.”

Ben turned and glared at him as Connie started to run from the little wooden hut in the coop, almost toppling off the ramp in her hurry. “Are you joking me?” he said, rubbing his face in his hand. “Bad enough I’ve got you in my head while I’m in there, if I’ve got you live and in person when I whack one out, I may not be fully responsible for my actions!”

Callum gave him a sigh at the phrasing. “When are you ever?” he replied, bending over the gate to lift up Connie who was trying to scale the fence with her beak. He stopped to give her a pet, as she puffed up like a blowfish, moulding her rounded body into his chest. “Do you not think of him? He’s the one ain’t he? The one from the Loft?”

It had been a thought that had been festering with Callum since he had put those pieces together, and it felt like poking a bear to be asking it, knowing he may not appreciate the bite and pain the answer could cause him. He must have sounded so petulant.

“No,” Ben said with a shrug. “It weren’t anything. I was limited in my options, needed a bit of a relief and thought I’d have one final hurrah. It certainly weren’t any good. That was before I came in here and had my balls weighed down like they’re made of lead by some fit prick tease who insists on working out in clothes that show off everything when he leans down to touch his toes!”

“No they don’t!” Callum said, his protestations causing Connie’s head to pop up, bobbing and looking around like she was ready to launch herself at an enemy that was about to attack. On the scale of effective bodyguards, he wasn’t quite sure she was high up. “That’s only cause you’re looking! Keep your eyes to yourself in future!”

Ben gave a laugh back, opening his mouth wide in protest. “Excuse me! You’re the one that checks out my arse all the time!” he said, wagging his finger when Callum started to argue. “Don’t try and deny it! You did it three seconds after we first met. Looked me right up and down, you did! I had your number from the start.”

Callum noticed he had changed the subject a little, and maybe it was the best. He didn’t want to torture himself with images of Ben and the production assistant in his head, though they were trying to make themselves known, screaming at him to let them in somewhere in the back of his mind. “Yeah, well, you’re impossible to ignore aren’t you?” Callum replied, scratching Connie under her chin.

“I could say the same back,” Ben said, giving the hen a stroke, his hand knocking against Callum’s fingers. “Could spend my whole life searching the world, and I’d never find anyone like you.”

It was one of those moments he didn’t think about what he was about to do, just followed what his body was telling him. Callum leaned in and kissed Ben, the sideways angle awkward, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t feel strange. It felt right. He only pulled away when Connie started to cluck and then glared between the two of them.

“Don’t worry, Con,” Ben said, giving her back a stroke when she tried to peck his finger. “When we’re out of here I’ll track you down the biggest cock in the country. One of those prize winning huge fuckers that could go for hours. We won’t wait for Habs app or you’ll still be pining for the next twenty years; I’ll hook you up and you can forget all about this one here.”

“Oh cheers!” Callum said, but he couldn’t stop smiling. He didn’t ever want to stop smiling.

“Please, I’m begging you! I will do anything!”

Ben looked up from the bed, sitting up quickly. It was late in the afternoon on a lazy day in the house. The shopping list had been delivered a short time ago, much to everyone’s delight. The problem was that everyone wanted to take part, and Callum knew at that rate they wouldn’t get anything done. He needed some help.

“You really shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep,” Ben said, a grin appearing on his lips as he leaned over and hooked his finger in Callum’s belt pulling him nearer. “Because I’ve got a hundred different requests running through my head right now.”

“Ben,” Callum moaned, trying to keep his balance as his knees hit the edge of the bed. “Please! I need someone to do the adding up. Last time Vinney did it, we ended up sixty quid over budget and we only had fifty pound to spend in the first place!”

Getting up to sit on his knees, Ben leaned his head forward to rest against Callum’s stomach. “I knew you only wanted me for my brain,” he chuckled, and Callum could feel his breath permeate through the thin material of his shirt. It fluttered warmly against his tummy, sending it somersaulting through his body. “Will you get me a present if I help?”

Callum nodded. “What do you want?” he asked, his fingers running through Ben’s hair, keeping his head in place. Ben’s hands moved to rub at the back of Callum’s thighs. The movement shot right up and down his legs, and he knew he had to end this now. He had to end this now.

“Surprise me,” he whispered, before leaning back. He waggled his fingers towards Callum, and he gripped tight, hooking their hands together as they walked towards the door.

There were various arguments when Callum insisted on taking over the shopping list, as Ben practically kicked the chalk out of Simon’s hand before he had a chance to explain about the accounting course he did at the local community college. Ruby seemed to be the least happy, approaching the board multiple times within the hour and complaining about the ingredients they had added.

“Do we really need that many avocadoes?” she argued. “Who eats that many during a week?”

“We do!” Callum responded, huffing at being interrupted. “We always make some fresh guacamole and Habs likes some extra for her face masks!”

“Plus we’re saving up the stones to wallop over to your bed the next time you start to fake moan. I’ve heard more realistic sound effects at a primary school nativity,” Ben responded, scratching the chalk down the board.

“Well, I’d assume you’ve been to quite a few school productions,” Ruby smirked back. “Or are you one of those absent fathers whose daughter wouldn’t recognise them in a line up.”

Callum slapped his hand down on Ben’s thigh quickly, trying to keep him calm and in place. He could feel the muscles tense under his fingers and he gave the leg a squeeze, trying to take him out of his head. “Two packs of cherry Pepsi Max, Ben,” Callum repeated. “Or Kat will do her nut, and we don’t want her droning on for days about how we fucked up the list, do we?”

Ben shook his head, and Calum saw him swallow and take a deep breath as Ruby wandered back off after not getting the reaction she was after.

When they were done, and had a little bit of budget still left, Callum took the board to the diary room, reading out the items listed and adding a few more. When he realised he was slightly over, he had no qualms about rubbing off one of Ruby’s luxury items. It may not have been fair, but it was right.

Almost as soon as he had left the Diary Room, all the housemates were called to the sofa. He wondered if he and Ben were going to get punished for covering the cameras and microphones up again the night before.

When they were all gathered, they waited for Big Brother’s announcement, listening out for their voice coming through the speakers. When someone spoke though, it wasn’t them. It was a voice that Callum didn’t think he would hear again in the house.

“Hello, hello, hello! What’s all this then!” Steve called out, entering the room with a flourish, holding his arms up high in the air, as the house descended into a cheer.

Ben, Callum and Dotty remained lingering by the sofa, as the rest of the housemates ran to hug and greet Steve. It was puzzling really. Half of them had voted him out and the other half didn’t know him. It was all for show. All for the effect, pretending that they were glad someone else had come into the show to potentially steal away their place.

Steve caught his eye though, patting Kush on his back before strutting over to the sofa with his arms held out wide. “The three amigos back together again!” he laughed out, pulling them both in for a crushing hug. “Don’t worry though Callum, I don’t expect to share a bed this time. Nudge nudge, wink, wink!”

He was staying then, Callum thought to himself. Well, of course he was staying. People didn’t just pop by the Big Brother house for a cup of tea and a chat. Ben seemed to be asking the same question with his eyes.

“You back for good then?” he said, when Steve had finally released his grip and they could both breathe.

Steve shook his head. “Unfortunately not,” he said, a sadness hitting his voice. “Just for a couple of days for the task. You’ll have to let the rest of your time out here play out without someone you know in your corner.”

“What task?” Kat asked, as Dotty held her hand out for Steve to shake. “We haven’t been given a task today.”

Steve started patting down his pockets, furrowing his face in confusion. “Where did I put that blasted thing?” he muttered, before bursting into a big grin and whipping an envelope out of his shirt! “Ha ha! Had you all fooled! Big Bro asked me to read this out. Come on! Come on! Let’s take a seat.”

They all sat around the sofas, the space felling crammed and busy. Callum almost felt out of control, too many variables and unknowns hitting him with the little bit of the outside breezing in again.

 _“Housemates!”_ Steve started reading, standing up by the couch with a flourish. “ _For this week’s task, you will become Cops and Robbers. Everyone in the house will be playing for their own shopping budget. If you successfully complete the task, then you will receive a luxury budget, if not you will be on basic rations.”_

Callum looked towards Ben, who leaned back with a sigh. They both suspected where this was going.

 _“Our own resident Detective Inspector Steve will be heading up the police team._ That’s me,” he commented, pointing at his chest with glee. _“This will include Simon, Callum, Ruby and Kush. The robbers will be made up of Kat, Ben, Frankie, Vinney and Dotty. We will have one Private Investigator, who can choose which side they are on. This will be Habiba.”_

“Habiba P.I!” she squealed. “I like the sound of that!”

_“Big Brother needs the BB Police Department to protect a priceless diamond from any thieves for the next couple of days. Those in possession of the diamond at the end of this time will be rewarded generously. It needs to be guarded around the clock and will reside in the main bedroom. The thieves lair will therefore be in the main task room. Good luck housemates.”_

As the rest of the housemates descended into excited conversation, Callum looked towards Ben. “You know what this means don’t you?” he said, giving a little elbow to Ben’s side to get his attention.

“Yeah, I get to see you all dressed up in a uniform!” he replied, grinning back. “I wish I knew about this before you convinced me to do the shopping list with you! That’s some good leverage there!”

“No!” Callum said, as Ben’s eyes dropped up and down his body. “We’re going to be in different rooms again. Don’t that matter to you?”

Ben gave a shrug. “I ain’t wild about the idea of leaving you in a room where Grabby Paws can try and get his fingers on you, but I know Steve or Habs will keep an eye out,” he replied, before turning Callum’s face towards him. “It ain’t like last time. There’s not a wall between us anymore. It don’t matter if you’re in a different room or a different country. It don’t change anything. Don’t ever doubt that, yeah?”

Callum smiled back. “Okay.”

“I swear I’ll come quietly officer! Well, not that quietly.”

Callum gave another sigh as he continued to chop up the vegetables. Habiba gave a snort of laughter. “Don’t encourage him!” Callum warned. “He’s been doing this for two hours now and it’s got old real quick!”

Once they had been told the task, the housemates had been ushered into their respective bedrooms to get changed for the task. Nothing much had changed in the main bedroom, apart from a large box with a diamond inside, set on a plinth at the end. It had a padlock on it and each of the police team wore a key on a chain around their neck.

They were all passed out their costumes, and Callum huffed to himself as the trousers seemed to cling to his skin when he put them on. “Did they not measure me properly when they took the sizes for the costumes before we came in?” he mentioned to Habiba who was adjusting the collar on her trench coat. “All the trousers they give me seem to be too tight!”

“They look like a good fit to me,” Simon had responded from his bed. Callum had quickly recruited Steve to take his old place next to Callum in the double. It seemed Simon’s anger towards him had slightly rescinded now he had a clear path from his bed to Callum’s without having to dodge any angry annoyed housemates who threatened to cut off his nuts and put them in a blender.

“You’ve got a good arse, Callum,” Habiba commented. “Its like I told Aled Jones; a peachy bum will never not be a ratings hit!”

When he stepped out into the main house and saw Ben’s expression, he was sure his face must have changed colour to flame red. He was half embarrassed and half flattered about the look in his eye. “Evening Officer, do you need someone to hold your helmet for you?” he grinned when Callum approached the sofa. “I’ve been told I know how to handle a truncheon, and I have it on good authority that yours is definitely a handful.”

Kush groaned from the sofa opposite. “Please stop now!” he said, putting his face in his hands, before turning to Callum. “Tell him to stop! He might listen to you, before we have to put up with bad innuendo for the next two days!”

“You can’t stop him when he’s like this,” Callum said, putting an arm around Ben when he leaned into him. “He thinks he’s hilarious, so everyone else has got to and all!”

“Oi!” Ben replied, looking up at him in mock annoyance. “You’d soon miss it if I weren’t here and you had to listen to Vinney’s attempt at humour. He tried to tell the same joke for three days last week, and still couldn’t remember the punchline. Besides, what else am I supposed to say when you look so fuckable in your uniform?”

“I notice they’ve given you an outfit straight from your wardrobe again,” he replied, looking down at Ben all dressed in black.

“I’m a cat burglar!” he said, looking anything but with his cheek rested on Callum’s shoulder. “Can’t exactly swing into a crime scene wearing polka dots, can I? Even if it would catch the attention of my favourite boy in blue.”

Ruby walked into the lounge with some of the other housemates and gave a humourless laugh. “You sure you didn’t make a deal with the costumer?” she scowled out with vicious eyes. “Offer them something in return for all the best outfits?”

Ben licked his lips and sat up a little. Something had hit a nerve, and Callum couldn’t help the look that passed between him and Ruby in their wordless conversation. She knew things about Ben that he didn’t want anyone else to know.

“You’re one to talk, ain’t you?” he said nodding to Ruby’s outfit. It was essentially a Halloween outfit that showed more skin than material. “Besides, if memory serves me correctly, the costumer was a sixty two year old lady called Madge.”

“How’s your bedroom?” Kush asked, trying to change the tone of the room. “It’s not as bad as when we were over on the Green Team, is it?”

“It’s got beds this time,” Kat responded back to him, a little bit of a veiled inference coming through her tone. “That’s about it really though. A bit grimy to be honest.”

“Surely it should be the other way around?” Habiba mused. “The diamond thieves would be living tax free on their profit and have the lovely accommodation, and the public servants making a meagre wage would be in the slightly stinky dwellings.”

“They’re not stinky!” Frankie replied with a laugh.

Kat blew out a chuckle. “Give it another day of living in cramped quarters with Vinney’s feet and you’ll be changing your tune! We got know chance of getting that diamond, cause they’ll smell him coming!”

The task was brought to the front of everyone’s mind, and continued to be discussed and joked about during dinner and through the evening. When it came to bedtime, Callum dropped a kiss on Ben’s forehead before going into their separate rooms.

He had been assigned on the first shift of diamond guard duty that evening with Steve. Though the former detective inspector was supposed to be in charge, Ruby seemed to be ordering them all about, repeatedly shaking the diamond box to check it was still there, despite it never leaving her sight.

The other housemates settled down when the lights turned off, snuggling down under the covers. Callum turned his police issue torch on and off repeatedly, pointing the beam towards the box. It seemed too quiet without Ben here; he didn’t like it, even though he knew he was only in another room.

“I’m guessing I’m not the one you want next to you?” Steve said, sitting up next to him. “I’m sorry about that.”

Callum switched the light off again. “It’s alright, mate,” he assured him. “Ain’t your fault.”

“It made me really happy, you know,” Steve continued. “That you’ve found each other. I’m so proud of you, Callum.”

“For what?” he asked. As far as he was concerned, he had only made a spectacle of himself and let people down when he was in here.

“You don’t see it, do you?” Steve said, giving him a small smile. “My son never saw it either. How fantastic he was, how brave he was, how he could just light up a room and make everyone else in it feel that little bit better. How he made me feel a little bit better. It didn’t understand the power he had. I don’t even think he knew that he had it.”

“I ain’t brave,” Callum huffed out, clicking the torch on and off with speed. “I runaway whenever anything gets hard.”

“You’re still here!” Steve said, patting him on the arm. “You’ve faced up to everything, Callum and that’s not nothing. Plus you spared a few kind words to an old fool like me!”

“You ain’t a fool,” Callum joked, with a smile. “I’m glad you’re back. Even if it is for a few days. I’ve looked after the Stetson for you!”

Steve looked over to the bedside table. “I’ve seen!” he said. “The wife cheered every time she spotted it on the telly!”

“You’ve enjoyed it then?” Callum enquired, almost wanting a taster of the future. “Being out from the house?”

“Yeah, I’ve kept myself busy,” he replied. “I’ve even started my own fundraising page and loads of people have got behind it. We’re making a little memorial garden. Making sure anyone that deserves it, has a proper send off and a place people can go to remember. Whether it be for those with skin, fur or feathers.”

Callum squinted in confusion, before smiling. “I think that’s a brilliant idea,” he replied. “Cheers, mate.”

“A lovely young lady has donated something to it,” Steve said, moving in conspiratorially. “Said she recently came into fifty grand and wanted to give a little back to the person who helped her get it.”

Callum nodded. He had known, but he was pleased to have it confirmed. He could finally close that part of his life, even if he didn’t know where the next part would take him.

** Day Thirty Six **

_“This is Big Brother. This week’s nominations will begin in five minutes time.”_

That wasn’t the way that Callum wanted to wake up; the announcement that he had to go sell his soul and vote for someone he lived with, knowing he had to get dressed for a task that separated him from Ben, and having to listen to Ruby shake the diamond box for the fifth time in the last quarter of an hour.

“It’s still there!” he exclaimed, putting his pillow over his head. “Do you think someone’s snuck in with an invisibility cloak and taken it?”

“It’s been there from the start, Ruby!” Habiba agreed. “Right from the gecko. We haven’t stopped watching it. Besides, can you imagine that lot trying to creep in here? I’m sure Dotty even stomps in her sleep!”

_“This is Big Brother. Would Ben please come to the Diary Room.”_

“Are they usually this early?” Ruby asked, resting her hand on the diamond in case the invisibility cloak theory turned out to be true. “Don’t you have them later in the week?”

Habiba gave a sound of agreement as she adjusted her trilby and place her binoculars over her head. “Well, that’s just it with Big Brother,” she mused. “You never know what’s going to happen.

Predictably, Ben wasn’t in the Diary Room for very long, and Callum’s name was soon called. He strolled into the room, placing himself down on the chair.

 _“Good Morning, Callum. Would you please give the name of your first nomination and your reason for this nomination_.”

“My first nomination is for Ruby,” he said, sitting back in the chair. “She’s come in and decided to pick a fight with everyone and throw her weight around. She makes sly remarks and digs, and I don’t like that about her.”

There was a slight pause. _“Thank you, Callum. Can you now give your second nomination, and your reason for this nomination.”_

This was a tricky one, and he felt a little guilty, but it had to be done. “My next nomination is for Simon. He’s a really nice fella I’m sure, and I bet he does some great work in a really worthwhile job, but he’s been a bit full on.”

Another pause again, but Callum suspected what Big Brother was going to come back with this time. _“Callum, you are reminded that your nominations must be full and frank. Can you explain how Simon has been ‘full on’.”_

He really didn’t want to go on camera and admit that he thought one of his housemates had nicked his underwear. If that wasn’t true, he would look more than paranoid. It hadn’t been the only factor though. “He and Ben seem to be butting heads a bit, and I don’t like that. I don’t want anyone in here that Ben don’t want.”

_“Thank you, Callum. You are now free to leave the Diary Room.”_

With ten of them in the house that were eligible to nominate, the process carried on into the afternoon, with some housemates taking longer than others in the Diary Room. Kush was in there for almost two hours, coming out with his eyes reddened. No one questioned him about it, knowing he wouldn’t be able to respond, but Kat brought him a cup of tea and Frankie a piece of cake which just seemed to make him recede into his shell even further.

The shopping arrived later that evening, much to the housemates’ joy. Kat stacked up her cans and scurried off with them as Ruby stamped her foot in annoyance at her luxury coffee not being delivered. Callum sneaked a few items in his arms, squirrelling them away quickly in one of the cupboards.

Picking up a bag, he walked towards the sofas, throwing it at Ben. He picked it up and checked the label. “Hmmm, still isn’t where I want it to be,” Ben said, ripping open the liquorice with his teeth. “Although, knowing what I know, we’d need more than one packet!”

“I ain’t sure my sewing skills are up to crafting together something out of sweets!” Callum said.

“Mine are, but I’d need you to model for me,” he said, as the rest of the housemates joined them on the sofa. “Make sure I get the sizing right. I want to make sure I do Madge some justice!”

“My wife would be making me a nice cup of tea right now,” Steve said, plonking himself down next to them. “If I were at home that is. I do like a cuppa before bed, though I always need to go spend a penny straight after!”

“Helps you sleep a bit better, don’t it?” Ben replied, laughing when Callum kept knocking away the pieces of liquorice he was placing on his thigh. “I had to get up after we went to bed last night to make one. About an hour after we all turned in.”

“It’s nice that you’re so happily married,” Habiba said to the detective, a wistful tone in her voice. “Finding someone that you can spend all that time with, to spend your life with. Definite goals.”

“You’re the only one that’s come in here with someone on the outside, aren’t you, Steve?” Ruby said, sitting up excitedly. “I know you started off in a relationship, Callum. But you wouldn’t say that anymore would you? You’d say you were single, wouldn’t you?”

Opening his mouth, no words came out. Callum didn’t know what to say. How was he supposed to define what he had with Ben? How would Ben describe it? He didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so he ended up not saying anything, and he wondered if his silence was even more conspicuous.

“It’s alright,” Ben said, trying to give him a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes though. Whatever answer Callum was supposed to give, it was the wrong one. “Don’t let her get to you.”

It was a question that lingered though, and one that Callum wanted to give the answer to; he’d just have to figure out what it was first.

Once they had all gone to bed, Callum had tried to keep count in his head. It was hard to do with Steve waffling away next to him, and snores coming from across the darkened room, but he was scratching the minutes off in his mind.

“I’m just popping out to make a cuppa,” he said, nudging Steve whose gaze was fixed on the diamond box. “You fancy one?”

His friend nodded eagerly. “Cheers, Callum,” he whispered. “Do you want me to come out and keep you company?”

Callum quickly shook his head. “No, you need to keep an eye on the diamond, don’t you?” he replied. “Ruby will kill us if she finds out we both left our post!”

Steve thankfully agreed. “Quite right,” he said. “You get the refreshments in and I’ll keep my eyes peeled here!”

Jumping out of bed, and trying not to appear too eager, he gave Steve a wave before quietly tiptoeing to the door. The last thing he wanted was to wake up any of the other housemates, and have Simon suddenly scurry out the door after him.

When he entered the main part of the house, the light startled his eyes a little, and it took him a moment to clear them.

“I’ve been a bit of a bad boy. Do you want me to spread them here, do I need to bend over something?”

Callum turned around to shush Ben, waving his hands to encourage him to keep his voice down. “I ain’t even wearing the uniform at the moment!” he hissed, and Ben came and took his hand.

“Don’t matter,” he replied. “The image is burned into my brain until the end of time.”

Before Callum could respond, there was a clicking coming from the other side of the task room door. “Shit!” Ben whispered. “Come on!”

Ben dragged him by the hand over to the sofa, both of them leaping over the back and landing on the cushions with a giggle. As the sound of the door opening filled the room, they both lay down against the back of the couch, Callum putting his hand over Ben’s mouth to stop him from laughing.

The humming that entered the space was clearly that of Vinney, as he padded his way towards the kitchen. Callum could hear the sound of the water being run from the tap and the click of the kettle.

There was a tickle at his palm, and Callum brought it away quickly when Ben’s tongue was tracing it. He gave a quiet tut before attacking Ben’s ribs with his fingers, leading him to wriggle under him and splutter, trying to hold in a laugh.

Ben ended up on his back with Callum between his legs. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were darkened as he clung on to Callum’s arms. Vinney was still pottering around the kitchen and decided to share his singing voice with the world. _“Running just as fast as we can…”_

Ben looked like he was going to let out an audible laugh again, but before he could, Callum stopped him. He didn’t use his hand this time, but instead his lips, covering them and threading his hands through Ben’s hair to keep in place.

It was torture not to move anything below the neck, especially when Ben hooked a leg around his waist to force him closer. Instead he put all the tension into the kiss, swallowing Ben’s moans into his own mouth and placating them with his tongue. He only paused when he heard footsteps head back into the task room.

“Please tell me you ain’t stopping,” Ben said, clawing at his t-shirt to bring him back down.

“I’ve got to get back!” Callum said, leaning down and giving one last brief kiss. “I only said I was coming out to make a drink. You know what Steve’s like. He‘ll be out here investigating my disappearance if I don’t get back soon.”

Ben gave another moan as Callum clambered off and started to compose himself, putting his clothing back in place and adjusting his boxers a little. “That reminds me,” Ben said, leaning his forehead against Callum’s shoulder. “I’ve got a plan.”

“A plan for what?” Callum asked, still attempting to catch his breath, and trying to think of a good reason to explain to Steve why he had gone out to make a cuppa and come back looking like he wrestled a shark.

“The diamond,” Ben said, as if it was obvious. “We’re gonna steal it.”

** Day Thirty Seven **

_“This is Big Brother. This week’s nominations will be revealed in five minutes. Would all housemates please gather onto the sofa.”_

Callum finished the last of the washing up from the late lunch as the voice came through the speakers. There was always a nervous knot when nominations were announced. It was the unknowing, the peak at the outside and the threat of being thrust back into the real world that kept that feeling of doubt in.

Wiping his hands on a cloth, he went to join everyone on the sofa, their faces clearly displaying their worry as well.

_“The housemates nominated for eviction tonight are: Dotty, Frankie, Kat, Simon, Ruby and Vinney. At least one person will be evicted from the Big Brother house tonight.”_

“Tonight?” Dotty called out. “They could give us a fucking warning, not just keep springing it on us!”

“Don’t worry, Dot. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Ben said, patting her on the hand. “They can’t kill you when you’re already an immortal succubus, can they?”

“Don’t you have a bridge you’ve got to go sit under and guard?” she said, giving him a slap to the arm. “Right, come on, Habs. I need your help to get ready.”

Habiba looked up in shock. “You want me to help you?” she checked, looking around as though there was another Habiba in the house. “The last time I tried to do your make up, you said it looked as though it’d been done by a seven year old with Haribo juice injected into their veins.”

“This is an emergency!” she replied, pulling the woman with her towards the bathroom. Callum had never seen her look so nervous. She thought she was going to go.

A few hours later, and the housemates were all gathered on the sofa again. They were allowed to take off their costumes from the task, and Big Brother had asked Ruby to bring the diamond box in and place it onto the coffee table. The challenge was clearly over, and the results were about to be revealed before the eviction. It wouldn’t be long away; the crowd noise was already being played in.

Callum couldn’t say he wasn’t relieved that both he and Ben had somehow managed to escape the chop this week. He tried to hide his happiness out of respect for the other housemates who were nominated, but the smile on his face as he squeezed Ben’s hand couldn’t be covered up.

_“This is Big Brother. Housemates, for this week’s task you were separated into teams of cops and robbers. At the end of the task, the housemates that would win the luxury shopping budget were those that had possession of the diamond. Could the housemates who have the diamond please reveal themselves.”_

Ruby stood up with a smile, reaching over and grabbing the box from the coffee table. She put the key in the lock. “Big Brother, myself and the other police officers have the diamond,” she announced, opening the box and holding it out gleefully in front of her.

“That’s not the diamond!” Steve called out, squinting curiously. “What is that?”

“Callum!” Habiba squealed, standing up. “It’s one of your balls!”

Ruby took out the crystal ball, staring at it in confusion. Her eyes darted and pierced their way to where Callum was sitting on the sofa. Her face fell when Ben reached into his pocket and brought out the diamond.

“Lost something?” Ben grinned, waving it in the air.

“How did you get that?” Simon said, his eyes going straight towards Callum. “You didn’t? You’re supposed to be helping us!”

Kat let out a laugh. “Of course he did!” she exclaimed. “It ain’t just an expression that those two are as thick as thieves. Don’t rule that one outta doing anything! That was your first mistake!”

“What about you?!” Kush said, pointing towards Ben. “You were supposed to be on our side!”

Kat scoffed again. “Don’t you get it?” she replied. “They’re on whichever side the other one is on!”

Vinney raised his hand, understanding washing over his face. “Oh! Is that what you two were doing rolling around on the couch when I was making a cuppa last night?” he asked. “You were planning this? Wow.”

 _“Ben and Callum, as you have admitted to stealing the diamond you will win the luxury shopping budget next week,”_ Big Brother clarified _. “The rest of the housemates will be on a basic shopping budget.”_

There was silence. Just the sound of the crowd noise being played it, and Callum wasn’t sure what to say. It turned out, he didn’t need to say anything. The eviction was just about to happen.

 _“Big Brother house! You are live, please do not swear!_ _Dotty, Frankie, Kat, Simon, Ruby and Vinney, you have been nominated for eviction this week, and I can now confirm that two of you will be leaving the house immediately.”_

“Two?!” Dotty stammered out. “At the same time? They’re doing a double?”

“It had to happen at some point, didn’t it?” Kush remarked. “There’s too many of us in here.”

_“The votes have been counted and verified and I can now confirm that the two housemates leaving the Big Brother house are, Kat and Vinney!”_

There was a wave of shock that went through the house. They were both originals, and that was unexpected. The new housemates had all been up, and all of them had survived.

Kat and Vinney were getting up, and saying goodbye, more than a little shock on both their faces. Callum gave Vinney a hug, before adjusting his headphones around his neck. “Good luck, mate,” he offered, not knowing what else to say. He couldn’t really remember his eviction, or what anyone said to him. It may have been fake in the end, but he didn’t know that at the time.

“Come here, sweetheart,” Kat said, pulling him in for a kiss. “Don’t be good, but be careful, yeah?”

He nodded, holding on to her for a little longer before she started to disappear up the staircase, waving to them all as they went and holding on to Vinney’s hand.

And just like that, the doors closed behind them, and they were gone.

“Wow, how shitty to be in here all this time and not even get your own eviction,” Ruby commented.

“I think I’d quite like someone to walk out with,” Habiba said. “I think that would be the nerve wracking part. I’d be furious if I had my interview time cut in half though!

“I need a drink,” Be exclaimed behind him. Callum couldn’t agree more.

Two hours later, and Callum couldn’t stop laughing as he pulled Ben towards the Snug.

Big Brother had seemed to listen to their request for once, and supplied them with copious amounts of alcohol. They also said good bye to Steve, who had left with a wave, a smile and an awkward promise from Callum that he’d wear the Stetson out when he was evicted.

It seemed like the housemates needed cheering up, and Big Brother even played in a variety of ‘Cops and Robbers’ loosely themed songs for them to dance to. When one of the tracks came on, Ben pulled at his hand eagerly, the drink he had consumed clearly taking effect.

“Come on!” he said. “They’re playing one of our songs.”

Callum pricked up his ears as Ben led him to the middle of the room and threw his arms around his waist. “There’s one hundred and nighty one songs that were number one in the eighties! They can’t all be ours.”

“So I’m greedy!” Ben said, his speech slurred. Callum couldn’t help but lean down and peck at his lips. “Besides this one’s for my boy in blue, ain’t it?”

“October eighty six,” Callum said with a laugh. “I wonder if we’ll ever forget these.”

“Never,” Ben said. “Never, never.”

Callum smiled, ducking his head down so they were curled up in each other, swaying to the music. “You’re not single, by the way,” Ben said, whispering into his ear. Callum felt the words fly through him, sparking off his skin and back into his nerves.

“What am I then?” Callum asked, his hands travelling around Ben’s body. It was possible that bottle of red wine he consumed to toast off Steve was now taking full effect. It was a good buzz though. One that made him feel powerful, made him feel wanted and made him want to want.

“You’re my boyfriend,” Ben said into his ear, before leaning his head back. His cheeks were pink, and his eyes glistening.

Callum separated them a little, before taking Ben by the hand. They stumbled when trying to get out the patio door, leading them both to burst into giggles as they headed towards The Snug.

Bursting into the door, Callum pointed to the items he’d placed in there earlier. Ben continued to laugh and he sat down next to them. “My pie and my pint!” he exclaimed. “Where’s my third wish then?”

The alcohol just gave him the confidence, but he’d never wanted anything more. Callum dove down, pushing Ben to his back and pulling the blanket roughly over his head. In the distance, he heard the smash of the beer bottle as that and the pie went heaving towards the wall.

Callum pressed himself into Ben, who was clawing at him like he was afraid he was going to escape. Their kisses were clashing, reddening and pinking the skin, as their faces aimlessly brushed with frenetic movements, never quite going where they aimed, their minds so intoxicated that their actions were working on their own and out of sync with their thoughts.

While his teeth were grazing Ben’s collar bone, Callum could feel a hand slip down and start to rub his stomach beneath his shirt. He pushed even closer, when Ben’s fingers scrabbled to get off his belt, pulling and tugging with the same rhythm as his other hand was kneading on the flesh Callum’s hip.

There was a small shove, and Callum knew to move onto his side. Ben gave him a couple of long kisses on his lips, not closing his eyes, before scooting lower and using both hands to undo the belt this time. He gave Callum a quick tap to the bum to encourage him to pull his jeans off. “You want me to do everything for you, do you?” he said with a laugh.

Callum leaned up a little and tried to quickly pull his jeans off, accidentally flinging his foot out and catching Ben in the chest. “Sorry!” he said, the buzz of the booze making all his actions feel fast forwarded one second, and slowed down the next.

Trying to kick off the rest of his jeans and leaning forward to kiss Ben’s chest, he almost nutted him in the chin. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologised, moving up to suck on his neck and then putting his hand lower to rub Ben through his jeans.

“Thought you might like it a bit rough,” Ben replied, before throwing his head back and giving a loud moan. “Don’t stop that.”

Callum wasn’t sure which part he meant, so he carried on nipping, licking and sucking at his neck while his other hand worked Ben through the denim. At some point though, it was getting too much, as Ben gave him a shove to back away and they ended up collapsing in a heap and tangled up in the blanket.

He couldn’t see anything, but Callum found he could suddenly feel tickling breath on his stomach, and his felt quick soft kisses moving lower. There was a tingle on his cock as wet warmth absorbed though his boxers.

The sensation was shocking and pulsing and caused his knee to shoot up. “Fuck!” Ben said and suddenly the eager mouth was gone. “Right, this isn’t fucking working!”

Callum’s heart almost shattered. He knew this would happen. He knew he would be bad at this, and it would push Ben away. God, he didn’t even get to the thumbs up stage. He wanted to go sit in the chicken coop and let the hens peck him until he turned into a colander.

“Come on!” Ben called. And Callum felt his hand being pulled. When he could finally see through the blanket, he realised that Ben was pulling him with force out the Snug. He stopped in the garden briefly before looking at the table there. Shaking his head, he started to drag Callum to the patio door. “Nope that wouldn’t work.”

When they went inside, they noticed it was empty. Everyone had gone to bed. “We should just go head off to sleep,” he suggested despondently. “It ain’t working, is it?”

Ben turned to him, a fury in his eyes, and pulled him in for a kiss. He didn’t let go, moving one hand to Callum’s bum, and the other back to his cock, stroking him through the material until Callum felt his breath catch and hook on his throat and his knees start to feel lighter and unable to hold his legs.

Callum gripped Ben and pushed him backwards until he hit the table with a thud. He clawed at Ben’s shirt, needing to get a hand on his skin. When he did, he scraped his nails down his back and pulled at his belt, thrusting into the side of his hip without any ceremony or rhythm.

“Under,” Ben whispered, and suddenly he was gone from Callum’s hand. It took him a second to realise he was crawling beneath the table cloth.

Following suit, Callum scampered under the material and immediately let his hand go to Ben’s belt. He surprised himself how quickly it came off, and he started to tug with harsh pulls at Ben’s jeans, turning him over, and yanking until they were down to his knees.

Callum leaned forward for a kiss; it was sweet and careful, and a contrast to when his hand dipped towards Ben’s cock, grabbing and stroking roughly.

There was a hiss in Ben’s throat and a slight edging away. “Sorry,” Callum whispered again, before bringing his hand back and licking his palm, returning his fingers and twisting slowly in a way he liked.

“Don’t apologise,” Ben said, his eyes fluttering back. “That was even hotter than when you take a lid off a bottle.”

Ben threw his arms around his neck and started to kiss him, before his hand snaked down and fisted around Callum’s cock, his hand moving in a rhythm that made all the muscles in the surrounding area tense up. This wasn’t going to last long.

“I’m not…” he started to say, not even sure if the words came out or even formed. His breath was just escaping in grunts, the sound of Ben’s belt still hanging from his lowered jeans clinking with a metallic pound against the ground with every stroke.

“It’s okay, its okay,” Ben continued to whisper into his ear between moans, as his breaths became longer and hitting his ear with ever increasing speed.

It could have been hours, but it was more likely minutes. Time couldn’t really be placed apart from the ticking of his heart. Eventually, though he could feel the build suddenly wave out and his whole body stopped, apart from his gasping mouth that muttered indefinable sounds that perhaps were words. His nails tried to grip the floor as he rode it out and the sensation retreated out of his body, leaving everything feeling heavy.

Leaning forward, he attempted to plant kisses on Ben’s lips. He wasn’t sure they quite met, just a touch of tongues and skin here and there. The sound of the belt was still tinging in his ears, and he looking down to see Ben had taken himself in hand and was quickly stroking himself, straddling one of Callum’s thighs.

It was all too much, the sensation of the high and toxicity of the alcohol and all he could do was watch, listening to the slap of the skin and pounding of the metal. It was the best sound his ears had ever heard, and his eyes were mesmerised.

“Callum,” Ben spluttered out, and he wasn’t sure if it was a request or not. He managed to get himself together though, and leant so their foreheads were together and his fingers were scraping through Ben’s hair. 

He thought he kept on hearing his name on Ben’s lips, but it didn’t matter. When he came, his breath escaped in shuddered vibrations, almost sounding like a quiet sob. They sat there for a while, and Callum was sure that his heart would never quite beat the same way again.

“We should go back to the Snug,” Ben said, finally leaning back and giving Callum a smile. “Knowing our luck, Habs will be out in a minute rolling under the table.”

Callum nodded and they managed to get themselves together a little, before crawling out. His legs were unsteady when he tried to stand up, all his muscles shouting and screaming out, and he had to lean against a chair for a minute.

When he looked up, Ben was standing in front of him holding a beer. “Go on, do it,” he said with the cheekiest grin.

Shaking his head, Callum took the bottle, clipping it on the table to knock the lid off, before taking a long sip. He handed the beer over to Ben, who followed suit. “Never not be hot,” he said, before walking back towards the garden.

** Day Thirty Eight **

When Callum’s eyes fluttered open the next day, they’d never seen a more beautiful sight.

“Morning,” he muttered out, the blue eyes looking back at him searching his face.

“Morning,” he replied. “Any regrets?

Callum put out his hand running it down Ben’s cheek, his eyes closing at the touch. “Only that we didn’t do it sooner,” he replied. “You’re still here.”

Ben nodded. “I ain’t going anywhere,” he said, shuffling closer into Callum’s side. “I never wanted to you know. I was just worried you’d change your mind about me.”

Callum rolled over onto his back, looking up to the Snug ceiling, and pulling Ben into his chest. “Never.”

It was some time later that his eyes fell open again, and Ben was still plastered to his chest. When he felt kisses there, he knew he was awake. “Don’t you have to go do the chickens?” Callum asked.

“No, Dotty’s done it, if you can believe that,” he mumbled against his skin. “She poked her head in a couple of hours ago to let me know.”

“A couple of hours ago?!” Callum questioned. “What time is it?”

“The afternoon sometime,” Ben said, and gave a groan when Callum sat up suddenly. “You sleep like the dead when you’ve been sorted out; that’s good to know!”

Dropping back down with a sigh, he still didn’t feel like moving. He would happily stay here, cuddled up with Ben for the next few weeks. “What did you do?”

“Just watching you sleep,” he replied. “I’m turning into as much of a crazy stalker as Doctor Dodgy apparently.”

“Not this morning,” Callum clarified, stroking Ben’s hair and giving him a kiss on his forehead. “Back at the start. What did you have to do?”

There was a clatter as the door opened, and Habiba appeared before them, her hand fully over her eyes. “Ben! Big Brother are calling you to the Diary Room! Are you in here?”

“No!” Ben called back, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, okay,” she replied, turning to go back out the door. She stopped suddenly, flinging her hand away from her eyes and tutting when she saw him. “Yes, you are! Can you just go speak to them, please? I was in the middle of making dinner as you two are out here on your little couple’s retreat. We’re having beef stew, but without beef because of Dotty, and without carrots because we didn’t have any. Oh, and I wasn’t sure how to make gravy, so I just chucked some brown sauce in.”

“Fine,” Ben complained, waving her away, and giving a stretch and a groan when he stood up. “I’ll be back in a minute, alright?

“What I don’t get a kiss?” Callum said, smiling up at him.

“When I get back you can get anything you want!” he replied, moving towards the door. He stopped and looked back at Callum with a soft expression. He knew Ben could tell what he was thinking. “We’ll just blank everyone else out, apart from you and me.”

Callum watched him disappear into the garden, the door slowly closing behind him, the light getting ever smaller through the gap, until finally it shut altogether. He was alone in the darkness.

Ten minutes later, Ben still hadn’t returned. Callum decided to get up, maybe wait on the stairs by the Diary Room for him to come out, or maybe even try and rescue dinner from whatever concoction Habiba had created.

The door swung open again though, and Callum looked towards it with a grin. It fell a little when he saw it was Dotty in front of him. “What?” he asked, when the young woman didn’t say anything.

She opened her mouth to speak, before closing it again, instead beckoning him to leave the Snug with her hand.

Callum scrambled up, following her into the garden. “What is it?” he asked again. “Habiba ain’t managed to burn all the baking trays again, had she?”

“We’ve got a card from Big Brother to read,” she said, her eyes looking down as they reached the main part of the house. “We’re supposed to all sit at the sofa.”

When he perched on the couch next to Dotty, he noticed everyone’s eyes were on him. Then they weren’t, as they darted away.

Kush cleared his throat, as he held the card in front of him. _“Housemates, over the past few days you were set a Cops and Robbers task. The housemates who were in possession of the diamond at the end of the task would win a luxury shopping budget.”_

Callum felt confused. They knew this already. They had been told this all last night. What had changed?

_“However, what you didn’t know was that any housemate that stole the diamond would automatically be up for a public eviction vote. As Callum and Ben stole the diamond, they were placed up for the public vote last night, and the person evicted would leave immediately and through the Diary Room.”_

No.

_“Callum, you survived the public vote and this evening Ben was evicted from the Big Brother house.”_

No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @blueangel0909 on twitter
> 
> @moodyblueangel on tumblr
> 
> If you wanted to drop me a a word or two, or down in the comments below of course! Thank you for reading xx


	20. The Final Countdown

** The Finale **

The crowd noise stared to bleed into the background. It had started early tonight, or at least it seemed to. None of them were sure if it was because Big Brother were actually setting up early, taking longer to get the staging together because it was the final, or if they were doing it to unnerve the housemates.

It was probably to increase their anxiety, that was something they would definitely do. As if the fact that their palms were clammy and moist, and they had to keep fanning themselves to avoid sweat patches on their best outfits wasn’t enough. No one wanted to walk out the door looking like a damp otter.

Habiba came over and squeezed his hand. “Alright?” she said, swishing her hair back. “I think my make up may melt off if we don’t get started soon. I’m going to end up looking like a used candle.”

“I don’t think it’ll be long now,” he said, smiling back at her. “They’ve got to start early to get all the interviews done, ain’t they.”

“Hmm,” Habiba muttered, raising her eyebrows. “Big Brother like to play with us. You never know what they’re going to do! Anyway, your little love bug is in the bedroom calling for you!”

“Better go see what he wants then, haven’t I?” Callum replied, giving her arm a squeeze.

Callum walked into the bedroom, looking at the man before him and smiling. “You look nice,” he said running a hand down his arm. “All set for tonight?”

“As I’ll ever be!” he said, with a laugh back. “Nothing’s going to spoil our evening.”

Callum went over and gave him a hug. “I can’t wait to get out of here,” he whispered into Simon’s ear. “I can’t wait to be alone and finally be together.”

** Day Thirty Eight **

“What?” Callum asked, looking around at his housemates. This was ridiculous. Ben wasn’t gone. It had to be some kind of sick joke. Though he knew by the looks on their faces, it wasn’t.

Callum ran up to the Diary Room, almost every second seeming like wading through sand, delaying him from getting there, pulling him further apart from Ben. He rapped his fists harshly on the door until they stung, and then kept going through the numbness until the points of stabbing pain appeared.

There were voices in the distance behind him, seeming close but too distant in his mind to really ever matter. “He’s not in there!” Simon called out, not even trying to input some gentleness into his tone.

“He might still be in there!” Habiba replied hopefully. “He might just be quiet.”

“As if Ben could be quiet!” Ruby laughed out, ever vibration of her chuckle digging and grating into Callum’s skin. “Besides the shouting’s stopped; you know they’ve convinced him to leave.”

Ben hadn’t wanted to go. He hadn’t expected this. He hadn’t agreed with it. But then he’d stopped protesting after a short time. Was that all it took, just a few minutes and he was fine with leaving? It didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem like him.

“I didn’t think anything of it at first,” Dotty said, surprise clear in her voice. It was shaking slightly, and she was stammering her words. “He’s always kicking off about something, I thought he was just pissed off about having to stop getting his end away for five seconds.”

Callum stopped hitting the surface, resting his hand on the door. It beat in time with his heart, sorely and painfully and he wished that it would all just stay in his hand. Ben wasn’t on the other side. He’d know if he was. He would just know. He was gone.

He couldn’t be gone. It wasn’t fair. Callum had only just found him. That was him all over though. The first time in his life he finally got something he wanted, the first time he was allowed to be happy and it was snatched away. It just wasn’t him. He wasn’t allowed to be happy. That was other people’s lives. That was for everyone else. It wasn’t Callum’s reality. That wasn’t his story.

“They’ve done this before mate,” Kush said, a hand settling on his shoulder. Somewhere deep inside he appreciated the gesture of comfort. That wasn’t the overriding feeling though. The strongest emotion coursing through his body was the fact it wasn’t Ben’s hand. The touch felt different. He didn’t want it there, and it took all his strength not to knock the reassuring fingers away. “It’s just what Big Brother does, isn’t it? We knew it when we signed up for this.”

Callum didn’t want to hear it. Instead, he started to press the button, over and over again. The clicking built the adrenaline in his body even further as a new level of aching was brought into his hand.

“Mate, he won’t still be in there,” Kush said, gripping his arm to make him stop hitting it when the light flashed green. “He’s gone.”

“I know,” Callum muttered, placing his fingers on the handle. “But that ain’t why I’m going in there.”

Swinging the door harshly open, he started to stride determinedly towards the small room at the end of the corridor. He belted the second handle down, going straight in, sitting down and leaning towards the camera. Callum tried not to think about the fact that Ben would have been in here only moments ago. All he wanted to do was curl up on this chair, sob into it and hope it would all go away. He had other plans though.

 _“Hello Callum.”_ There was almost an audible exhale that escaped his lips at the sound of the voice. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. It would do though.

“Where is he?” he demanded, pointing to the screen. “You tell me where he is, and you tell me now.”

_“Callum, as part of this week’s task, the audience were told that the housemates in possession of the diamond at the end of the challenge would be put up for a surprise eviction. As result of you and Ben stealing the diamond from the task, you were both put up for a public vote. The votes were all counted and verified and Ben was evicted this evening from the Big Brother house.”_

Callum scoffed at the answer. He knew all of that, or at least he could have guessed the excuse they used. With just two of them up, they could manipulate the result any way they chose. “I wanna go. Can you open the door, please?”

It had been instantaneous, the feeling of wanting to go after Ben. He couldn’t be here without him. He couldn’t be anywhere without him. It had only been seconds, and already it felt too much.

_“Big Brother understands how you are feeling, Callum. We realise that housemates create strong bonds and evictions can be a stressful and upsetting time.”_

“You don’t know!” he called out, flopping back on the chair. “You don’t know or understand how I feel.”

Something caught his eye in the corner of the Diary Room, something small and black, and he squinted his gaze closer, before the realisation of what it was hit him.

“I’m not changing my mind!” he replied. He wanted it to all go away, everything that was bothering him, everything that was niggling at his mind for weeks. It could just be left unsolved. All he wanted to do was run out of here, run away from it all and hide. If he found Ben then they could hide together and it would all go away.

_“Callum, it takes Big Brother some time to organise a housemate leaving. We suggest you get a good night’s sleep, talk to your other housemates and decide in the morning if you still want to leave the house.”_

He didn’t want to wait until the morning. That was too much time. Too much time for everything to come crumbling down around him, and he’d have to sort and pick through the pieces to even hope to escape. That was too hard. At the moment, he had a clear path.

Getting up from the Diary Room chair, he gave the door a kick to open it. His feet were moving on their own now, his natural instincts taking over, and before he knew it he was back in the house, storming through the lounge towards the garden.

Ignoring the calling of his name, he ripped open the door and headed to the fence. Callum kicked it, but it held solid, so he kept trying, moving round and using all his strength to boot and push at each part of the fence.

“What are you doing?” Habiba was screaming behind him. “Callum! You’ll get yourself kicked out.”

“Good!” he replied, moving around, treading and trampling the flowers and plants that were in his way. “I’m trying to find a weak spot. There must be one here; a fake panel they use to get into the garden.”

A hand tried to grab on to him again, but he shook it off. “Why are you trying to find a weakness?” Habiba asked. “Callum! Will you stop and talk instead of trying to velociraptor your way through a fence! You aren’t trying to leave, are you?”

“When I can get through the fence, I am,” he said, kicking the panelling with more force every time it stayed, unrelenting under his effort. “I don’t want to be here if he ain’t here.”

“That’s just stupid! You don’t want to waste your opportunity in the house.”

“Shut up, Simon!” he bit back, not wanting to hear that now. He didn’t care about this. He didn’t care about any of it, or anyone. Only Ben.

“Callum.” Another hand on his arm, softer this time, and pleading for him to stop. “Please don’t leave me. Just stop and think for a second, alright?”

It was the last thing he wanted to do. Thinking about all of this wouldn’t get him anywhere; it was a hopeless situation, and he could see only one easy way out.

Then there was Habiba, looking at him with her sad, large eyes and gripping on tightly like he was the only thing in the world stopping her from blowing away in the breeze.

Patting her hand comfortingly, he gave a little nod. It would wait until morning. Then Big Brother would have to let him leave.

** Day Thirty Nine **

There was a warmth of Callum’s cheek when he woke, as some soft strokes brushed against it when he moved. He breathed in the familiar scent, and his whole body settled and stilled from the tornado dreams he was having.

That was before he opened his eyes. Truly opened them wide and realised he was all by himself in the Snug, the blankets cuddled up to his body. Both comforting, and an unwelcome reminder of who wasn’t there.

Pulling himself up with a groan, Callum ran his fingers through his hair. It was morning, he could feel it though the door still prevented any natural light from seeping through. He’d woken up without Ben. That wasn’t new, but after the previous day it felt it. Now he’d had a small taste, he wanted more. It had been ripped away from him.

Big Brother had to let him leave today though. They couldn’t keep him here for much longer, there was only so many excuses they could give.

The door shot open, the light boreing in. Habiba crept inside, sitting beside him and pulling her knees up to her chest. “I’ve made some breakfast if you want some,” she said in a whisper. “We’ve got mushrooms and toast. Only we didn’t have any bread out of the store cupboard, so it’s just mushrooms and jam. I can pack up some to go if you want? In case you get hungry on your trip.”

The guilt did hit him a little. He knew Habaiba didn’t want him to go, and she felt left behind. He’d promised her he’d be there for her, and now he was already backing away. “I’m only going out the door, Habs,” he said quietly. “I ain’t traipsing through lands unknown.”

“Big Brother have asked us to pack up Ben’s things,” Habiba replied, clearly not wanting to discuss it. “I didn’t know if you wanted to do it? Dotty’s offered, but I’m frankly a little afraid she’ll just rip things into shreds if they don’t quite fit in.”

Callum nodded, and hauled himself up off the cushions. He needed to go back in the Diary Room, tell Big Brother he was going home. He’d get Ben’s things packed up and then go back in. They’d have to let him leave. He’d given it the night. He’d kick the door down if he had to.

Going into the bedroom, he stepped over to the bed. His and Ben’s bed. It had been just comforting to be there with him. It wasn’t like with Whitney, where he felt his hackles raise, standing on edge all the time, unable to relax. Being in bed with some you liked, someone you fancied and adored, was completely different. It took away the emptiness. The lack of space wasn’t a factor, because it didn’t feel like it was lacking anything. It just felt right. The warmth. Knowing you could reach over at any point and find someone there. The person you wanted there.

The suitcase had already been brought in and Dotty was lingering by Ben’s dresser drawers like she was afraid something would jump out at her if she got too close.

“Oh, thank god!” she exclaimed, as Callum got nearer. “The thought of rustling through his underwear didn’t set me off in glee!”

“Does anything send you off in glee?” he said back, with a smirk.

She gave him a little glare. “He fuck a bit of his personality into you did he?” she said dropping down onto the bed.

“Dotty!” Habiba cried, as Callum opened up the drawers and started to pull out Ben’s clothes. “We can’t speak ill of the dead!”

“He’s not kicked the bucket, Habs! He’s just left this house!” she replied. “Life does exist outside these four walls and the barbed wire fence.”

“It doesn’t always feel like it,” she remarked. “Sometimes it feels that we’re the only people in this world. Like some apocalypse movie. It’s just left to us to repopulate the earth.”

Callum placed the items in the case, flattening them down with his hands carefully. It didn’t feel right, it felt strange to have Ben’s things here, but not him.

“Repopulate how?” Dotty asked, swinging a nail varnish around in her hands. “There’s only three blokes in here; Simon, who even if he wasn’t batting firmly for the other side, I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole for fear the offspring would be some creepy horror film stalkers. There’s Heartbroken Harry over there, who if you even looked at him slightly in the wrong direction, you’d have to face the wrath of Ben when you got out. Who does that leave? Kush?”

“Kush would be alright,” she said with a shrug. “He looks good, and he’s actually quite sweet when you talk to him alone.”

“He’s gone over to the dark side!” Dotty replied, pausing a little as if she expected a response that she didn’t get. “He’s so easily led astray. He can’t see what’s in front of his eyes. You need to set your sights higher, Habs. We shouldn’t be scuttling around with the dregs of the bottom of the pond. No offence, Callum.”

“I’m fine as I am,” Habiba said with a sigh, folding and then refolding one of Ben’s shirts before throwing it in the suitcase. “I can’t take the hassle of finding someone new when we’re out of here.”

“You’ll be hitting them away, Habs,” Callum said. “They’ll be queuing up for you.”

“That’s not a help!” she replied. “It’s alright for you. It’s not something you have to worry about. It’s a minefield when you’re single and looking for someone new, completely different if you’ve already sampled them! It’s like going to your favourite restaurant, where you’ve always had the same meal from the menu before. You know what you’re getting. Sure, it might not exactly tickle your tastebuds anymore, but it’s the safe choice and you know you’re not going home hungry. With someone new though, it’s like picking something different from the menu that you’ve never had before. It might be absolutely delicious, and leave you begging for more.”

“Or you might go home sick, hungry and convinced that you never want to eat again,” Dotty finished, as Habiba nodded. “It’s an exhausting risk to take.”

“Sometimes risks pay off,” he replied, pulling half a packet of liquorice from the draw. He moved to throw it on the side, somebody else could probably eat it. Ben had all the liquorice he could get his hands on now he was outside. Callum hoped that’s all he was getting his hands on.

It worried him a little, that maybe now Ben had the whole world around him, Callum wouldn’t seem as appealing. He tried to think back to their night together, knowing how fumbling and inexperienced he was, but also knowing how it felt. That couldn’t have just been from his side. Now, though, Ben could have the pick of anyone he wanted. At least he wasn’t jealous of Tubbs anymore. He couldn’t imagine how he’d feel if he knew they were both on the outside and there was a risk of them hooking up.

Tubbs. Something just clicked in Callum’s brain, an idea that had been rolling around since the man had left the other day. Moving around the bed, he picked around in his own drawer underneath his socks, until he pulled up the rolled piece of paper.

Callum undid it and read it again, like he had a hundred times. The words finally beginning to make sense. He didn’t see it before. Maybe because he didn’t want to. It was all clear now though as he played every word in his head. _‘We ain’t real.’_

The words were scrawled in bright red, which initially Callum had worried was blood, but must have been one of the girl’s make up products. Some lip stain gloss that had to be wiped off with turps to get it off your face.

Callum shoved the paper into his pocket, before quickly getting to his feet. “Habs keep packing Ben’s things, will you?” he said, as he headed towards the door. “I’ve just gotta check something.”

“You’re not going are you?” Dotty said anxiously, sitting up on the bed. “Not now?”

He shook his head in confirmation. “Nah, not at the moment. I think I’ve been convinced to hang about for a bit.”

Walking out into the lounge, he tried to look natural, as if he was just wandering around and pottering away the hours. Callum wiped up a few of the pots in the kitchen, threw away some left over jammy mushrooms, before going to settle on the sofa. He picked up the Welcome Pack, just pretending to skim through until he got the reaction he was hoping for. It didn’t take long.

“I’m sorry about before, Callum,” Simon said, settling down next to him. “I understand it can be hard to lose someone in here when you’ve all spent so long getting to know them. I’m here if you want to talk.”

Callum swallowed deeply, the anger almost retching back up and expelling from his throat. He forced it down though, past the gag and gurgle until it settled in his stomach, growling away. “No, I’m sorry,” he said, giving a quick tap to Simon’s arm. He hoped it was convincing. It didn’t feel like it. “I’m being ridiculous I know. Not like anyone’s died, is it? I’m gotta calm down a bit, probably giving myself high blood pressure or something. What does it have to be in order to count as high?”

Simon looked quizzically at him, like a greyhound that had just spotted the rabbit was just a bit of fluff on wheels. “What?”

“For your blood pressure to be high? What does it have to be?” he repeated, turning towards the man and trying to show his most open and honest face. “When you have to take it on the patients, I’m guessing paramedics have to be able to spot that stuff, don’t they?”

“Yeah,” he said nodding, looking around the room, before starting to get up. “Yeah, but it’s just boring old numbers. I probably come off uninteresting as it is, I don’t want to start spouting off statistics and get the audience to turn off! Anyway, like I said, I’m here if you need anything at all.”

Callum beamed back at him. “Yeah, cheers for that. I think I might take you up on it,” he replied, scraping his finger along the folder to keep the smile etched on his face.

When Simon was finally out of sight, Callum reached out and grabbed the short black liquorice strand from the binder that he spotted when he was flicking through. Another breadcrumb. He must have known they would do something like this.

Simon wasn’t who he said he was, nor was he who Big Brother claimed. That’s what Tubbs had meant.

Callum thought back to his time in the Loft, how they had manipulated Callum into thinking his was choosing fresh faces. People who were nervous as he was, who had the same fears and ignorance that he did. He had been shown their videos. Naively, he assumed it was as a gift, to give him some sort of inside edge. It wasn’t. It was to make him believe he did. It was to make him believe they were real.

Tubbs had essentially outed himself, in more ways than one. That’s why he bowed out and threw himself on the sword. It wasn’t for him, whatever Big Brother had asked him to do, whatever they had employed him to do. He left on his terms, with his integrity intact.

Now, Simon. It had all been so much, the attention hie was giving Callum, the constant following, the remarks, the touches. It was all for show. It was all so Big Brother would have enough footage to make it seem like they were together a lot of the day. Thirty minutes is nothing out of a twenty four hour day, but it’s a hell of a lot in an hour show.

That was two out of the four. It didn’t really surprise him that Ruby was out to cause trouble. He suspected that she would do that even without the go ahead of Big Brother. She had certainly rattled enough cages since she had been there. They wouldn’t be here to win, so she had nothing to lose. None of them would be in the running to win. They were just here to stir trouble and direct the conversation. Every single one of them. They weren’t real.

Callum whipped himself up out of the sofa, almost running into the person in front of him. “God, sorry!” he said, steadying them.

“In a rush? Not many places to run to in here, are there?” Frankie said, before holding a plate out to him. “Cake? It’s coffee and walnut. It’s best for getting over an eviction!”

Looking at the cake and then back up to the woman’s face, he tried to spot the lie there, tried to see the deceit. She looked so honest and open, but perhaps that made it all the more deceptive. With someone like Ruby, she was her cunningness on her sleeve with pride. What had Big Brother said to Frankie to make her come in here with an agenda? Ben had sense something. It was clear what it was now. Consoling him when he was upset, eking out information from him, making a moment out of the aftermath of a fight with Ben and bringing him cake. Dammit. How many times in his life would he be lured in by a good piece of cake?

“Thanks,” he said, taking the plate from her. “What’s the flavour for ‘I don’t know whether to keep doing this or not?’”

“That’s carrot cake, I think,” she said with a laugh. Callum took a big bite of the cake, and the crumbs grabbed and scratched at his throat. He hated coffee and walnut cake. Why would you want a drink in a cake? You didn’t get a Ribena cake, did you? Add that with something that would break your teeth, it didn’t make a good combination. He took another bite anyway. It was still cake. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He placed the slice back on the plate and licked his lips for crumbs. “I’m alright at the moment, Frank,” he said, handing it back to her. “I’ve just got to pop into the Diary Room, actually, but I know where to find you when I need you. Nowhere to run, right?”

She gave him a smile, and he turned to walk down the other end of the house. Gently, he pressed the Diary Room button, trying to stop his foot from jiggling. He was trying to seem calm. Trying to seem like everything was perfectly normal.

When the green light flashed, he pushed the door, and lowered himself down on the seat, lounging casually on the arm. He gave it a few seconds, his ears pricked up to hear the tone of the voice, but there was nothing. They were waiting for him to talk.

“Hi Big Brother,” he said, his tone as cheerful as he could make it without seeming overly ecstatic. It was a fine line he was trying to thread. A thin piece of cotton in an even thinner needle was challenge enough, before he even tried to track down what he needed to sew and connect together.

 _“Good morning Callum,”_ the voice replied. _“How are you feeling today?”_

It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, and he tried not to let his shoulders visually slump. “Yeah, a lot better thanks,” he replied quickly. There was no point being in here now. He needed to get back to the bedroom before Habiba and Dotty finished packing Ben’s case. Big Brother’s voice was still talking to him though. “Sorry, what?”

_“Do you still want to leave the house, Callum?”_

Looking straight down the camera, he gave his clear reply. “No. I’m gonna stay. This is where I should be. I’m not gonna give up now.”

When he left the Diary Room, Callum quickly made his way back to the bedroom where Dotty and Habiba had both clambered onto the suitcase.

“Habs?” he asked, trying to keep his voice level. “Can I borrow some moisturiser?”

“What?” she answered, looking at him with confusion. “Dotty, the zip’s still not closing! Who would have thought he had so many clothes? He wore basically the same thing every day!”

“It must have all gone in there at some point! He’s been up for eviction enough times! His clothes have spent more time in this case than anywhere else!” Dotty replied bouncing up and down on it. “God, that fucker’s gonna be sitting home watching this and having a field day!”

Callum cleared his throat to get their attention. “Habs? Your hand moisturiser? Can I borrow some?” he repeated, edging towards her bed.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she said, pulling at the zip. “You know where it is.”

Dotty curled her lip up at him in disgust. “He’s only been gone a few hours, Callum. Can’t you wait a bit longer?” she said, wincing slightly when she heard a crack below her. “Please tell me the scent of his sweaty socks hasn’t sent you into a boner tizzy.”

Callum tutted at her. “No!” he replied, moving towards Habiba’s bedside table and opening the bag. He quickly took what he needed, slipping it into his palm. “I’ve just got dry hands from that cheap washing up liquid.”

“Oh yeah, dry hands!” she replied with a roll of her eyes, as he made his way towards the toilet. “That sounds like a convincing excuse to scurry into the bathroom all lubed up!”

He gave a chuckle as he closed the door behind him. There was just one camera in here, on the wall facing the toilet. It wouldn’t see if he had his back turned.

Callum made a movement of unzipping his jeans, then quickly took Tubbs’ note out of his pocket. He changed the ‘we’re’ to ‘it’s’ with Habiba’s lip gloss, and then turned over to write the digits six, six, eight and nine. He really hoped this worked. He hoped he understood.

After a minute, and when he was sure the liquid had dried, he folded up the note in his palm. Callum zipped himself back up before setting Habiba’s things down by the sink, and going back into the bedroom. He stopped sharply when he couldn’t see either of them or the suitcase. Shit.

Quickly, Callum jogged over to the bed and grabbed the liquorice, before bolting out the bedroom. “Wait!” he called out, still trying to not seem too eager. “I need to put this in there!”

The two women were rolling the case into the storeroom, and stopped when they heard Callum’s voice. “It’s too late!” Dotty called out. “I had to do things to this case that probably shouldn’t be done in public, just to get it closed. There is no way in hell it’s opening back up. Leave the sweets here! We’ll need them more than he will.”

Callum shook his head. “No, it’ll only remind me of him if its hanging about,” he said, and he couldn’t help but notice Habiba’s curious look towards him. “Give us it here! I can squeeze it in.”

“Is that what you said to him the other night?” Dotty said with a grin, before wincing as Callum tried to get the zip open.

“It’s all going to explode out if you’re not careful!” Habiba said, barely being able to watch, as he managed to wiggle the pack in the tiny gap.

“Don’t!” he said, holding his finger up at Dotty when she went to open her mouth. “There, all done. See? I told you it would work.”

** Day Forty **

“Good Morning Big Brother,” he said cheerfully, perching on the edge of the chair.

Callum waited for the voice to come through, chewing his lip nervously. He had come into the Diary Room the previous night as well, before going to bed. Reluctantly, he slept in the bedroom last night, making sure he seemed normal, whatever that was in any case. The bed seemed empty though.

_“Good Morning, Callum. How are you today?”_

It wasn’t what he wanted to hear again, but he couldn’t let his anger show. He couldn’t let it bleed through. “I’m feeling good, cheers,” he answered with a smile. He was hating those smiles, plastering them on like a mask. “Obviously, it can get quite intense in here, so when someone you like leaves, you feel a bit disappointed. I’m starting to realise that there are still loads of great people in here that I trust and get on with. I’m gotta remember to be strong.”

_“Do you have any plans for today?”_

Shaking his head, he gave a little shrug. “I think I’m gonna do a bit of cooking with Habs and Frankie; I know they want to make a cake,” he replied. “Probably a bit of a work out with Kush and Ruby, and then Simon’s gonna teach me how to give a neck massage. He did an aromatherapy course at the community college.”

At least he had the answer now for how Simon managed to fit in so many leisure courses while juggling a busy paramedic career. Callum really wasn’t looking forward to their night time teaching session though. He shivered at the thought.

There was no other reason to be in the Diary Room so he left shortly after that and walked into the garden, approaching the chicken coop. Callum clicked the lock of the gate open and entered inside, being bombarded immediately by all five chickens.

They had all helped out care for them the last few days, but Callum knew they missed Ben. He wondered what would happen to them all once the show was over, but then he stopped himself thinking that far ahead. It stirred to many feelings that needed to be settled for now. Bending over, he picked up Ann and scooped her into his arms, ignoring Connie’s clucking of shock and outrage.

Callum petted her for a little bit, rubbing softly at her feathers and she eased into his touch.

“I don’t think they understand where he’s gone,” Habiba said, coming to lean on the fence. “They’re confused by everything. They seem to trust you though.”

The last thing Callum wanted to talk about was Ben. “They’ll be alright,” he replied. “They’re only birds, ain’t they? They’ll have forgotten all about him in a couple of days.”

Habiba squinted at him before leaning back a little. “Callum, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he replied, as Connie started to undo his shoelace in a hope he would trip up and she could pounce on him. “I’m really happy.”

“Yes!” she exclaimed. “That’s what’s wrong! I thought you’d be a little more upset about the eviction.”

“It’s fine, Habs!” he replied, holding Ann so close that she bustled a little at the squeeze. “It’s the name of the game, ain’t it? People have to leave, it’s not like I can’t see him on the outside if I want.”

Habbiba squawked so loudly that she set Penny off doing the same, both of them flapping their wings in outrage. “If you want?” she asked shaking her head. “He’s been the most important thing to you in here, and now it’s like you might have a pint with him if you happen to run into him down the pub!”

“There are more important things, Habs,” he said, placing Ann down. “We all come in here by ourselves, we’ve all got to build our own strength, ain’t we? I’m here to win, Habs.”

** Day Forty Two **

Callum burst out into a laugh that filled the whole house. “Then what happened?” he snorted out, laying back on the sofa, trying not to spill his cocktail.

“The guy just pulled up his trousers and left!” Simon giggled back, patting Callum’s thigh. “I don’t think I’ve ever locked the window so fast!”

Pretending to wipe the tears out of his eyes, Callum touched Simons hand where it lay on his leg. “I ain’t surprised!” he replied. “God, there’s some mad people about, ain’t there? Why can’t we just find a nice, decent person to be with, that’s not got any drama attached!”

There was a loud tapping across the other end of the sofa as Habiba whacked her straw angrily against her glass. Callum ignored it. He had to. Unfortunately, he couldn’t ignore the words that fell from her lips. “Ben wasn’t exactly drama free, but that didn’t stop you humping up next to him, did it?”

She had been in a mood with him for days now, all through the French themed shopping task they had received, and now sitting there glaring at him as they celebrated with some cocktails. It wasn’t just her; Dotty was giving him the same look. He was slightly concerned that her snarl would actually be able to kill.

“Ben’s great, and we had a real laugh in here,” Callum explained. “That don’t mean anything on the outside though does it? He’s probably out there now getting his kicks, ain’t he? You get it, Kush right?”

Kush looked a little confused by the question, but gave a reluctant nod. “It’s not always real in here, we’re in such a bubble,” he said. “I think once you’re outside with all the people and things you know, it’s gonna be very different.”

“I bet any money that he’s currently on his knees sucking off some six packed bit of beef in a dodgy club in Catford,” Ruby joked out. “He’ll have a beer in one hand and his cock in another and having the time of his life with his new found fame! There’ll be a different fella every night at least!”

Callum wanted to throw up, and it wasn’t with just whatever Big Brother had put into this orange cocktail. He had tried to make sure he had been sipping it, trying to keep a clear head, but at the moment, all he wanted to do was down it and then consume the whole jug it came from. All he wanted to do was get out of his head and get that image out of his mind.

What if it was true? What if Ben hadn’t got his note? Even if he had, what if he was so disgusted at what Callum had been doing, that he didn’t want him anyway. Why should he wait? Ruby was right; there would be a queue of guys out there trying to get his attention. What if he didn’t wait?

“No, he wouldn’t,” Dotty said fiercely, looking down with annoyance at her drink, as if she blamed it for saying the words out loud. “He wouldn’t do that. Not to Callum.”

“It’s not like they’re in a relationship though, is it?” Simon said, scratching the denim on Callum’s thigh. He was going to throw up, he knew it. He could feel the citrus acid start to rise in the throat, and at any moment he was going to belch out a litre of orange over the carpet. “I’m sure Callum would understand if he was getting his kicks.”

He nodded with a smile. “Course,” he replied. “We just had a bit of fun that’s all. We’re too different though. I like him a lot, but he made it really clear to me what he wanted. There’s no hard feelings. We left things on an understanding.”

“See?” Simon said, smirking towards Dotty and Habiba who looked like they may scratch his eyes out if they got in a close enough reach. “Ben’s great for a good time, but guys like me and Callum want something a bit more stable and secure. Don’t we, babe?”

That’s it, he could feel it rise in his throat as he nodded in confirmation. “I’m feeling a bit queasy from these orange things,” he said, staggering up and stumbling towards the bathroom. He didn’t look back, he just needed to get there as quickly as possible.

As soon as he reached the toilet, he got onto his knees and threw up into the bowl, the acid burning his throat as he retched.

His breathing was heavy, and his forehead dripping with sweat, but his head was clear. He wasn’t drunk, not even tipsy. This was just so hard.

The door swung open harshly, hitting his toes. “Fuck!” he said, grabbing his foot and glaring up. “What are you doing?”

“We need to talk!” Dotty said, flushing the toilet with a grimace, before standing up on the seat and placing two towels around the camera and the microphone. “Habiba! Will you get in here!”

“I can’t deal with Callum when he’s sick!” a voice called from outside the toilet. “Not again! Especially not without Ben here! I spent too many times in a toilet with Edele from Bewitched, rubbing her back while she spewed all over the place!”

“Shut up and switch your mic off and get in here!” Dotty replied, practically dragging her inside and banging the door closed. She reached into Callum’s waistband and switched off his microphone pack, before doing the same with her one and Habiba’s. “He’s fine! He’s not even slightly drunk; you can tell because he’s not slurring out how wonderful Ben is and trying to climb the fence in an effort to find him!”

“I am here you know!” Callum said, scrabbling to his feet and leaning against the wall.

“We’ll deal with you in a minute!” Dotty warned. “The reason he’s chucking up, Habs, is because he can’t bear to let Slimer get his weird sticky hands on him! Now you can talk, Callum. What exactly is going on with you?”

Habiba looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Is it the stress?” she asked. “Has that caused you to have ambrosia and forget all about Ben? Only you’ve been all over Simon, letting him put his hands on your neck the other day. I tried to get in front of him and ended up being punched in the boob!”

“It’s not the only time either,” Dotty said accusingly. “I can’t walk into the room without seeing you throw your head back and laugh at one of his loser stories! And you’ve suddenly become best buds with Ruby and Frankie! Plus, you’ve been disappearing into the Diary Room every five minutes!”

Callum glanced up at the camera and microphone, making sure it was securely covered, before moving closer to both of them. “Can you keep a secret?”

** Day Forty Five **

_“And the next housemate to be evicted from the Big Brother house is…Frankie!”_

Callum breathed a sigh of relief, even though he knew it wasn’t going to be him. The nominations had taken place a few days previously, and predictably he wasn’t amongst them. Habiba and Dotty were though, and he didn’t want them to go. He wasn’t sure he could manage the pretence without both of them here.

He felt two hands settle on his shoulders, and he leaned back into the touch with a smile as he started to scream inside. “I can’t believe it’s only five days to go before the final!” Simon said, and Callum’s skin was starting to itch and prickle under his touch. “Five days and then we’ll both be out of here. It’ll be nice to go for a drink and have a chat just the two of us, won’t it?”

Callum nodded. He was still not quite sure how much of Simon’s advances were instructed, and how much was actually him. So far, he’d managed to keep him from his bed, but he had to put up with his little touches here and there, his closeness and familiarity, and it was killing Callum. He knew it wasn’t long to wait, but without knowing what Ben was thinking about it, those five days would be torture.

“Come on, Callum! Let’s dance to celebrate!” Habiba called out, coming over and grabbing his hand. Thank God for her. Every time Simon started to snuggle up to close, she’d hurl herself in like a flying squirrel to put her body between them.

“There’s no music playing,” Simon commented, the annoyance evident in his voice.

“God, Simon! Have some imagination will you! You don’t have to hear music, to be able to hear music!” she said, jumping around. Callum joined her, listening to the songs in his head, playing them out loud and clear.

_“This is Big Brother. Could all the housemates please gather on the sofa?”_

“Another eviction?” Kush said, worry appearing on his face. “They wouldn’t do that, would they?”

Callum dropped down on the couch, Dotty just slipping next to him before Simon had the chance.

“No, the crowd noise has stopped,” Ruby said, wrinkling her nose at the idea.

_“Housemates, before you entered the house, you reminded about the rules and regulations surrounding the fixtures and fittings. At 11.22 on Day Forty Two, Callum, Habiba and Dotty covered the microphone and camera in the toilet. As they broke a fundamental rule, as punishment all the housemates will lose access to the hair dryer and straighteners for the next three days.”_

Callum was just about to comment on the mildness of the punishment when he noticed Ruby’s face start to redden. “Are you kidding me?” she said turning towards them. “What exactly were you doing that meant you had to cover up the camera and microphone?”

“If you’ll remember, Callum was chucking up his guts after one too many cocktails!” Dotty exclaimed. “We thought we’d give him a little bit of privacy. Anyone got a problem with that?”

Ruby opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind, instead standing up and strutting over to the Diary Room. She was let in almost immediately.

It was less than twenty minutes later, when she returned, parading her way into the bedroom. It was curiosity that caused Callum to do it, to jump out of his seat and follow her in.

When he pushed the door open, he saw her open up her overnight bag, the one they had to pack for their eviction night. It was kept in the bedroom when all the cases went to the storeroom. “I’m sorry,” he said, as she zipped it back up again. “If you’re disappointed about the straighteners. The girls were just trying to look after me when I was sick.”

“Let’s not lie to each other, shall we Callum?” she said, flattening down her pristine white powersuit with her hands. “We both know what’s going on here, don’t we? I don’t know how or what exactly, but I know you know something. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m off. I’ve told Big Brother I’m leaving.”

“Over some straighteners?” he questioned, as she pulled the bag onto her shoulder.

Ruby gave a laugh. “I’ve done what I came to do,” she replied, moving towards the door. “There’s nothing more here for me now.”

Callum nodded. She was honest in her fraud. She was leaving on her own terms.

Ruby stopped, her hand lingering on the handle. She turned slightly to face him. “Remember who the real enemy is, Callum.”

“I do,” he confirmed. She gave him a conspiratorial nod, and pulled open the door.

** Day Forty Six **

“What are they?” Habiba squealed, as Kush put the box on the table.

“I think those envelope shaped things might just be envelopes, Habs,” Callum said with a laugh, trying to ignore the fact that Simon’s arm was around his neck like a noose.

Receiving a glare in return, she shuffled forward in her seat. “I can see that!” she exclaimed. “But what’s in them? They’ve got all our names on there!”

“It’s letters from home,” Kush said reading the card. “It’s from the people we love.”

Callum’s stomach dropped. He didn’t know if he wanted this. His days were hard enough as it was, if he had to hear from someone outside the bubble, it might break him.

“Right, this is yours Dotty,” Kush said, handing it to her. “Who do you want to read it?”

The young woman held the envelope as though she was scared it was going to reach up and bite her. Any colour she did have in her face had drained out. “You can do it, Callum,” she said, passing it over to him.

Carefully, he ripped open the paper and pulled the note out from inside. His eyes adjusted to the handwriting and then he started to read. “Dear Dotty, it has been amazing to watch you on tv every night, and we all think you’re doing so well. Keep it up, and we’ll see you when you get out. All the best, Jamie.”

Handing her the note, there was a silence that hovered over the house. They were all thinking the same thing, noticing the lack of affection included. “Who’s Jamie?” Kush asked, breaking the awkwardness.

“Just a mate from uni,” Dotty said, her head down as she started to crease the paper between her fingertips. “Haven’t seen her for a while actually.”

“Right, well Callum, shall we do yours next?” Habiba said, trying to draw attention away from Dotty’s obvious disappointment. “Who do you want to read it?”

“You,” he replied quickly, knowing that Simon would offer if he let him get a breath in.

Habiba wriggled in her seat with a smile and then opened up the envelope. Callum took a deep breath. “Bruv. Wow, what can I say apart from I’m so proud of you. I know we’ve got a lot to talk about when you get out, and I know you’ll have worried about what I think. I can’t say I understand everything, but that don’t matter. I love you and miss you, and can’t wait to go for a pint. We’ll have to go to that bar mum and dad met at on Valentine’s day in Eighty Seven, and have a good catch up. See you soon, Love Stuart.”

“That was a beautiful letter, Callum,” Simon commented, squeezing his shoulder.

It didn’t even bother him that time though. He didn’t care because he was right. It was a beautiful letter. Just the one he wanted.

Callum could barely concentrate as all the other letters were read, he just kept looking at the words of his own one again and again, just incase they suddenly disappeared.

When they were all finished, Dotty got up and went into the bedroom, not speaking to anyone on her way. Habiba looked towards him, and he gave her a nod in return. They both got up off the sofa and walked after her.

“I’m fine!” she said, sitting on her bed, when they both entered the room. “You don’t have to come and cuddle me! It’s just a stupid letter! So I don’t have any friends or family that want to associate themselves with me apart from some girl I barely talk to! Fucking Jamie, she probably only agreed to it so she could get her name on the telly, and so she could make out what a sad loser I am.”

“Well, we’re your friends, aren’t we, Callum?” Habiba said, trying to hold Dotty’s hand, but eventually giving up when it kept being swatted away. “And I think when we get out of here, we should all move in together!”

Dotty started choking. “What?!” she said. “Have you left the eyebrow tint on for too long again?”

“No!” Habiba exclaimed excitedly. “It makes perfect sense! I’ve wanted to move away from home for ages, you’ve got no one who wants to live with you and Winky has probably burnt most of Callum’s possessions and left the rest in a bag by the bins! It’s the obvious answer!”

“I’ve supposed to move in with both of you?” Dotty spluttered out. “Do you really think I want to put up with clumps of your hair in the bath, and having to listen to the Duracell bunnies at it in their bedroom for most of the day?”

Callum and Habiba both looked at each other and back to Dotty, nodding enthusiastically. “Fine!” she admitted. “I will regret it, but why not! You look happy at your letter, Callum. Was it good to hear from your brother?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it definitely was,” he replied. Stuart was right in the letter; Callum had been unsure of his reaction to everything that happened in the house. He had hidden everything from his brother for so long, he expected to be disowned and ignored. That would be his dad’s reaction, but he didn’t care. Stuart accepted him and that’s all that mattered. It also seems he’d had a visitor, and just the fact there wasn’t any blood stains on the paper made him feel happier than he had in the past few weeks. “Better than I could have even imagined.”

Callum had almost started to give up. He almost stopped making his four trips a day to the Diary Room when they appeared fruitless. That day though, seemed to be going too well for him not to at least try, and when he heard Big Brother’s voice as he sat down in the chair, he was almost too stunned to believe it.

“Turn the camera off,” he ordered the voice. “I know it’s you. Turn it off now.”

_“It’s off.”_

Callum laughed. “Is it?” he remarked bitterly. It didn’t matter really, he knew this wouldn’t get out. “I’ve heard that one before from you. You ain’t been around recently. Lost interest now he’s left.”

_“It was nothing personal, Callum.”_

It was. It was everything personal. “It was you. I recognised your voice. You’re the one that was there at the final audition. You taped me,” he spat out, all the anger from the past few weeks wanting to come out. “You had me admitting to everything. What was you gonna do? Play it in the house? Show it to the press? You had me admitting to fancying blokes, for having a crush on a mate in the army, for everything that happened to me when I was a kid. I told you everything cause you said it weren’t being filmed.”

_“You were a right chatterbox. Why do you think you managed to get through to the house? I pushed for you.”_

“Does anyone else you work with know about the video?” he asked. Callum wasn’t sure if it was just one lone person working against him, or if it was the whole show. Although in truth, the two couldn’t be separated.

_“No.”_

“But Ben knew about it, didn’t he?” Callum confessed. “You told him about it.”

_“I was his handler. We got a bit drunk one night, I let it slip that one of the housemates was in the closet, we were going to give him a little push out of it and I had the evidence to do that.”_

Callum shook his head. The thought of his life being thrown around like a game made bile rise in his throat. “He made a deal with you?”

_“I’ve got to say, he was very persuasive; we fucked and he convinced me not to do it. I can’t say I understood why he was so bothered by it. He didn’t even know who the housemate was at that point.”_

Callum understood though, he got Ben, he knew him in ways that not many people did. Ben would have done that for anyone. If he thought something was wrong then he’d speak up and try to make it better.

“You didn’t stick to it though?” Callum responded, knowing that the voice at the other end didn’t have the same level of empathy and compassion. “You kept on blackmailing him?”

_“It was after he met you, when you both got into the house. He said we could release the information about his prison stint if we continued to keep your video quiet. He sussed it was you pretty quickly.”_

“Of course he did. I checked out his arse when he walked in,” Callum said with a laugh, before straightening up his face. It was too personal to share with the voice. He didn’t get to be a part of that. A part of them. “He gave up that for me? When he knew his family was watching? When he knew what people would think of him after that? That weren’t enough for you though, was it? You kept going didn’t you?”

_“We tried to get him thrown out, thought it would be good for ratings if the public had someone to hate.”_

“You couldn’t though, could you?” Callum said, a smiling appearing. “He kept to the rules, mainly. Did enough to get himself punished, but not enough to be thrown out. So that little plan failed. What else? Try to get him to shag you again? I saw the look you gave him when we was in the loft.”

_“You think he wouldn’t have? I still have the tape of you.”_

“He weren’t stupid though. Ben knew what you were trying to do; he kept going to the diary room when you weren’t there, talking for as long as possible so there weren’t any need for you to call him. It would have looked suss to your bosses.”

_“He was being ridiculous. Weren’t like I didn’t have a front row seat every morning he went to the shower all worked up over you.”_

Callum screwed up his face. “That’s why you evicted him. Because you were jealous of me.”

_“I didn’t evict him. The public did.”_

“It was your idea though. To put the task up and let the public know that anyone that thieved it would be up for eviction. You told him to do it, didn’t you? He thought it would just mean getting a dodgy shopping budget, not that he’d be gone.”

_“I was doing you a favour. You weren’t fooled by all that lovey dovey stuff were you? Guys like him don’t do that.”_

Callum knew better. He knew. He understood what Ben did and why he did it. Now, after the letter, he could say that Ben knew what he was doing too.

“Why you admitting all this?” Callum asked. The Handler was being more forthcoming than he thought he would when he confronted him.

_“What can you do Callum? He’s gone. Probably balls deep in the nearest piece he came across. You two can’t pass any of your little codes anymore. He said he had a recording of me and him, tried to use it against me. Maybe he has, maybe he hasn’t, but he knows that what I’ve got on you is a lot worse.”_

Callum winced. He hated the thought of Ben with someone else. Maybe he could convince Whitney to use some of the fifty grand to buy a rabid rat that could nibble The Handler’s balls off.

_“You can’t beat this, Callum. What possible outcome could you get? You say anything, then that little tape will get played live into the house. You kick off, then you’ll be thrown out, or out first in the final to huge heckling. You keep playing up to Simon, and Ben and all your little followers will lose any hope they had in you. Either way, you still pull in the ratings and the bosses still get happy.”_

“I could win,” Callum said. “That don’t sound a bad outcome to me.”

_“Don’t you get it? That’s what we’re going for! We’re pushing for you to win! You’ll be paraded out in front of the press and passed around from pillar to post with people asking you why you were snuggling up to Simon. It’s funny how the editing works sometimes. A shot here and there is really all you need.”_

He didn’t know. He didn’t know that Callum knew the second wave of housemates hadn’t been real.

 _“Don’t you understand, Callum. We own you,”_ The Handler said. _“You are the winner of the show, but you will still lose.”_

“I could walk,” he suggested, the words he heard chilling through him. “Right now.”

_“Then we’ll get a new narrative. One that will get the votes flooding in and the public’s head turned to something else. How about that little friend of yours, Habiba? We could release a few celebrity denials about all those stories she tells, make her look like a real loser. So go on, walk. If you dare.”_

Callum laughed. “Ben tried to walk, didn’t he?” he replied. “He wanted to go, and you did the same thing. You kept threatening him with my tape. He was stuck.”

_“We can be very kind Callum, or we can be very cruel. It’s your choice in the end.”_

** The Finale **

The crowd noise stared to bleed into the background. It had started early tonight, or at least it seemed to. None of them were sure if it was because Big Brother were actually setting up early, taking longer to get the staging together because it was the final, or if they were doing it to unnerve the housemates.

It was probably to increase their anxiety, that was something they would definitely do. As if the fact that their palms were clammy and moist, and they had to keep fanning themselves to avoid sweat patches on their best outfits wasn’t enough. No one wanted to walk out the door looking like a damp otter.

Habiba came over and squeezed his hand. “Alright?” she said, swishing her hair back. “I think my make up may melt off if we don’t get started soon. I’m going to end up looking like a used candle.”

“I don’t think it’ll be long now,” he said, smiling back at her. “They’ve got to start early to get all the interviews done, ain’t they.”

“Hmm,” Habiba muttered, raising her eyebrows. “Big Brother like to play with us. You never know what they’re going to do! Anyway, your little love bug is in the bedroom calling for you!”

“Better go see what he wants then, haven’t I?” Callum replied, giving her arm a squeeze.

Callum walked into the bedroom, looking at the man before him and smiling. “You look nice,” he said running a hand down his arm. “All set for tonight?”

“As I’ll ever be!” he said, with a laugh back. “Nothing’s going to spoil our evening.”

Callum went over and gave him a hug. “I can’t wait to get out of here,” he whispered into Simon’s ear, and he’d never spoken truer words, it just wasn’t the man in front of him that needed to hear them. It was someone else he was holding as the happy thought in his mind. “I can’t wait to be alone and finally be together.”

The results were predictable, and really didn’t seem to matter now that they were all out of here that evening. Simon went first, a host of boos waving through the doors when he made his exit. Callum wished he could feel sorry for the man, but he had no sympathy.

The next eviction was much harder, waving goodbye to Dotty. Both he and Habiba clung to her much to her dismay. They would see each other soon, but it was still strange to see someone you had spent months with, suddenly walk out the door.

There was just the three of them now, sitting next to each other on the sofa; him, Habiba and Kush. They kept having to run to the toilet with the nerves, and Callum could feel his fingers trembling when he pulled his grey jacket around himself tighter. All of them were nervous, but at least the other two knew what was going to happen, no matter what the order was in the end. Ultimately though, for Callum, everything was unknown.

_“Big Brother house, you are live, please do not swear. Callum, Dotty and Kush, the votes have been counted and verified and I can now confirm that the housemate in third place is…”_

Callum took a few deep breaths. This is what he had been waiting for. It was now, or never.

_“Habiba! Habiba, please say your goodbyes, I’m coming to get you!”_

It seemed to go in slow motion at that point when Habiba kissed and hugged both of them, holding both their hands as they walked to the staircase. She let go and started bounding up the stairs, ready for when the doors were about to open.

It was the movement of the camera above that forced Callum’s gaze up, straight into the lens. He held his happy thought tight, and then spoke loudly and clearly.

“You have no power over me.”

They would have heard it. It couldn’t be missed, but before he had another second to think, he gave Kush a clap on the shoulder and started bounding up the stairs two at a time, as quick as his feet could manage.

Habiba has just stepped out the door, and someone had clearly seen what he was doing, as they began to close. It was a matter of milliseconds, but he made it, slipping through the small gap just before they shut.

“Bah!” Habiba screamed when she turned to see him standing next to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m gonna go get him, Habs,” he shouted to her over the noise. “I can’t be without him for another minute, not another second. He moved the stars for me, I have to shift them back for him.”

It was then that he noticed the crowd, hundreds of expectant eyes looking up at him staring. “I don’t suppose the stars can wait until the bottom of the stairs, can they?” Habiba asked, clinging on to his hand. “I don’t think I can do this by myself.”

“You can,” he said, squeezing tightly as they began to tackle the steps. “You can do anything you want by yourself, but I’m here if you ever need me.”

They walked hand in hand down the stairs, as the bubbly presenter with confusion in her eyes trotted over quickly to meet them. There was a microphone stuck into his face, and he seemed to sense she was asking him a question, but he wasn’t interested.

Looking around, Callum tried to spot him. He was here, he had to be here somewhere, the task becoming difficult with so many fuzzy faces. The crowds were screaming and jumping about, trying to catch his attention, but he wasn’t interested. It was just the one face he was hoping to see.

Then, he saw him.

“Ben!” he called up to the small staging area. There was a large section of crowd and a barrier between them, but that wasn’t going to stop him. “Ben!”

Callum started to run down the thrust, the metal shaking and jiggling under his feet. His eyes didn’t shift from Ben, who was clambering over the side of the barrier, being helped by Steve who seemed to be giving him safety advice.

There was only one way for Callum to go, and he took a deep breath as he jumped off the stage. There were arms everywhere, grabbing at him, pawing at his clothes as screams were hitting his ears in full force. He lost sight of Ben for a moment, as hands waved in his face pulling him lower. Callum wouldn’t let them though. He couldn’t let them win, and he used all his strength to push his way through.

Finally, he reached the other end of the crowd, escaping the clutches at last. He used some of the energy he had left to jump over the barrier. His head shot back and forth, trying to find Ben again, but he didn’t even need to bother as a hand slipped into his.

“Bit early, ain’t you?” Ben said with a grin. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Running as fast as they could, they bounded down the street, the September air hitting their faces with a cool strike as they flew into the darkness and didn’t stop until the world has disappeared behind them.

They fell against a wall, breathing harshly “I can’t believe you did that!” Ben replied, when he was finally able to talk. “You was favourite to win! Practically a certainty! You give up fifty grand to stay in there, and then the prize money to get out of there!”

“Have you been watching?” Callum asked with a grin, letting his back hit the wall next to Ben. “You get my message? You know all that stuff with Simon weren’t real don’t you?”

Ben pushed himself off the wall, and then practically fell against Callum, bringing their lips together. He was finally home. “I did know, didn’t mean I weren’t ready to kick his scrotum up to his eyebrows every time he put a finger on you though. I got your little liquorice love letter. You’re lucky I didn’t eat it.”

Callum pulled Ben’s shirt until they were nose to nose. “I knew you’d be here waiting,” he said, kissing him between every word. “I can’t believe you met my brother though.”

“Trust me, it ain’t an experience I’m going to forget in a long while,” Ben replied. “Why’d you come out of the house with Habs then? You know millions of people have voted for you, and there’s gonna be a whole lot of betting punters who aren’t too happy.”

“I’ve taken the power back, ain’t I?” Callum said, wrapping his arms around Ben. He didn’t want to be separated, not even by one inch. “Big Brother are gonna have all those people complaining about paying for votes that didn’t count. They’re stuck with a winner who they didn’t want. They got nothing over us anymore, Ben.”

Ben looked at him with a smile, one that he had missed the last few weeks. “Right, well then, I suggest you take me for a pint!” he said, pushing off the wall and pulling Callum’s hand with him. “I’d normally say winner pays, but I know you’re brassic! How about we stop off at a shop, get some food and a six pack, and head back to the hotel?”

Callum nodded, his fingers linked with Ben’s. Looking around, there was no one watching, no one listening. They were now finally alone.

They’d won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story! It's been a pretty rubbish couple of months ( I think probably for most people!) so any and all kind words were very much appreciated.
> 
> xx
> 
> Twitter: @blueangel0909  
> Tumblr: @moodyblueangel

**Author's Note:**

> *Shrugs* This is what happens when you can't sleep one night, and decide it's a good idea to get up and plan out a multi chapter fic based on a twenty year old trashy reality show, and then write the opening chapter. I thought I better post it before I just throw the whole laptop out the window in protest at my sleep deprived brain and what it produces.


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